Life position

Life Positions

Days of decision

1. Before children are eightyears old, they develop aconcept about their worthand worth of others.

2. These are children’s days ofdecision. The days ofdecision lead a person totake psychologicalpositions.

3. The psychological positionstaken about oneself andabout others fit into fourbasic patterns.

Life position

Life positions are

basic beliefs about

self and others,

which are used to

justify decisions

and behavior.

Life position

• Life position, which wasoriginally described by EricBerne (1962/1976) in an articleentitled "Classification ofPositions."

• He delineated four life positions:"I'm OK, You're OK" (I+U+) –Good Life position; "I'm not-OK,You're OK" (I-U+) – Depressiveposition; "I'm OK, You're not-OK" (I+U-) – Paranoid position;and "I'm not-OK, You're not-OK"(IU-) – Futile position.

I am OK, You are OK

• It is potentially a mentallyhealthy position.

• If realistic, People with thisposition about themselvesand others can solve theirproblems constructively.

• Their expectations are likelyto be valid.

• They accept the significanceof other people.

I am OK, You are not OK

• It is a position of personswho feel victimized orpersecuted, so victimize andpersecute others.

• They blame others for theirmiseries.

• Delinquents and criminalsoften have this position andtaken on paranoid behaviorwhich in extreme cases maylead to homicide.

I am not OK, You are OK

• It is a common positionof persons who feelpowerless when theycompare themselves toothers.

• This position leads themto withdraw, toexperience depression,and in severe cases, tobecome suicidal.

I am not OK, You are not OK

• It is the position of those

who lose interest in

living, who exhibit

schizoid behavior, and

who is extreme cases,

commit suicide or

homicide.

Life position• Once a position is taken, the

person seeks to keep his or her

world predictable by

reinforcing it.

• It becomes a life position from

which games are played and

scripts acted out.

• "Every game, script, and

destiny then, is based on one

of these four basic positions”.

How often does life position change?

OK Corral

• According to Franklin Ernst who

developed OK corral, Each of us

arrives in adulthood having written

a script based on one of the four

life positions.

• But we don't stay in that position

every hour of the day. Minute by

minute, we shift between

positions.

OK Corral

• Ernst showed that peoplecan behave in an I+U-position at home, then goto work and be I-U+ withthe boss, and later thatevening be I+U+ with aboyfriend or girlfriend.

• Woollams and Brown saidthat what Ernst wasdescribing should beviewed as "feeling states" .

OK Mix

• Although we might all have a basiclife position, I believe that ourpositions and behaviours are quitecomplex and can be differentdepending on circumstances andsometimes change moment tomoment.

• This is what Anita Mountain(2009) calls the OK mix “That isthe dynamic interplay betweenany group of people moment tomoment.

• All our transactions can be seenas invitations to other people tojoin us in our current (behaviouralor existential) position.”

Surface life position

A surface life position is

temporary and changes

many times each day. It

may be reflected in the

types of ego states or

transactions that we use.

Character Life position

• According to Berne’s original

conceptualization, One cannot

change one's total life destiny

rapidly.

• Woollams and Brown's concept

of life position is that life

positions are fairly permanent

and do not change easily.

Character Life position• The character life position will

influence the amount of time andthe ease with which one adopts acertain position at the surface level.

• For example, someone who is I-U+at the character level will tend touse that most often at the surfacelevel, particularly under stress.

• However, "allowers,""permissions," and therequirements of various dailysituations lead each of us to use allthe life positions in our daily lives.

Life position

• Berne talked about the lifepositions as existential positions,one of which we are more likely togo to under stress.

• This is significantly different to theconcept Ernst uses, i.e. that wemove around them all during theday.

• It seems that Berne was talkingabout a character level idea, andErnst was talking about a surface-level, minute-by-minute concept.

Changing Life position• One way to influence one's

character life position is bydoing things differently ineveryday life.

• For instance, if one's characterposition is I-U+ one can make asocial contract to engage inI+U+ behaviour andtransactions at work.

• If one persists with this newsurface-level behavior, theChild ego state will slowly beginto alter its character position toone that is more I+U+.

Blame model

• The Transactional Analysis'Okay Corral' can be linkedto 'blame model ', for whichJim Davis TSTA developedthis simple and helpfulmodel.

• Commonly when emotionsare triggered people adoptone of three attitudesrelating to blame, whicheach correlate to a positionon the Okay Corral.

Blame model

• I'm to blame (You areokay and I'm not okay- 'helpless')

• You are to blame (I'mokay and you are notokay - 'angry')

• We are both to blame(I'm not okay and youare not okay -'hopeless')

Three handed position• I+ You+ They+ : Democratic

community position.

• I+ You + They - : Gangpositions – who needs them.

• I+ You - They + : Agitator ormalcontent – you people arenot good compared to thosethere.

• I+ You-They- : Solitaryrighteous self critic.

• I-You+ They+ : The is a selfpunishing saint or masochist.“ I am the most unworthyperson in the world”

Three handed position

• I- You+ They- : Servile position “ I abasemyself and you reward me well not likethose inferior fellows”

• I- You-They+ : Servile envy “ I hate usbecause we are not as well off”

• I- You- They- : Pessimistic position ,believes in predestination and originalsin. “we are none of us any good anywhere”.

• I+ You+ They? – Evangelistic position . Iand you are ok but we don’t know aboutthem until they show their credentials orcome to our side.

• I+ You? They- : Aristocratic , Most otherpeople are not good, but as if you, i willwait until i see your credentials.

3 Dimensional Okness

• It was proposed by AnitaMountain.

• If we consider the thirddimension of THEY, then thesocial interaction of groups,families, organisations andteams becomes open toanalysis.

• In 3 dimensional Oknesssuddenly there are eightpositions rather than thetraditional four.

3 Dimensional Okness

What is okayness?

Okayness

• Stewart and Jones (1987)

seemed to define the degree

of OKness a person feels as the

"essential value" (that one

perceives in oneself and

others.

• This implies that it is more

than just behaviour.

Okayness

• Steiner (1974) gave a morephilosophical definition ofOKness.

• He said that Berne had aconviction and "'faith in humannature“ about the OKness ofpeople.

• As a result, we all are OK, eventhose who commit the mostheinous deeds.

• Such individuals are notresponsible for their genes orearly backgrounds and thus areOK, even though their behavior isnot.

Okayness

• For his part, Novey sees OKness

as meaning "I am an acceptable

human being, with the right to

live and meet my needs, and

you are an acceptable human

being with the right to live and

get your needs met.“

• For him, "rights" and

"acceptability" are used in

defining OKness.

Okayness

• Harris and Harris (1985) saw

OKness almost as a comparison

of following between a child and

his or her parents:

– Strength

– Power and

– Dependency

Planetary Okayness

• Another aspect of life positions is

taken up by Pearl Drego (2008).

• He talked about theenvironmental crisis affecting theearth as “scripty and suicidal”. Itis a position of the extremeantisocial (I+ U-T-) orhopelessness (I-U- T-).

• Issues such as climate change,water shortages, marine pollutionetc. are all global problems – thatcan overwhelm us with theirscale and complexity.

Planetary Okayness

• It is at the small group level that

we can create and maintain

healthy life positions including

other groups, nations and

importantly future generations.

• Then maybe we can step back

from the hopelessly suicidal and

antisocially homicidal positions.

Which comes first – Decision or life position?

Decision or life position?

• Eric Berne – Early

decisions come first

and then life position is

adopted to justify it.

• Claude Steiner – Life

position is adopted

much earlier.

What is the life position of a new born?

New born - I am OK and You are OK

• When we are conceived we are

hopefully at peace, waiting to emerge

into the world once we have grown

sufficiently to be able to survive in the

outside of the womb.

• If nothing untoward happens we will

emerge contented and relaxed.

• In this case we are likely to perceive

the world from the perspective of I

am OK and You are OK.

New born - I am not OK and You are not OK

• Perhaps our mother hadsome traumaticexperiences, or the birthwas difficult or even lifethreatening.

• This experience is likely tohave an effect on the waywe experience the world,even at the somatic level.

• In which case we mightemerge sensing that life isscary and might, forexample, go into "I am notOK and You are not OKeither".

New born - I am not OK and You are OK

• Let's take it that thepregnancy went fine, and thebirth was easy enough. Whatthen?

• Well life experiences mightreinforce our initial somaticlevel life position, orcontradict it.

• If we were treated punitively,talked down to, and not held,we may begin to believe "I amnot OK and You are OK". Thismight be the only sense wecan make of our experiences.

• For the child, adults are giantswho make it feel not ok.

Is the life position I+U- genuine?

I+U-

• It is generally understood that for

someone to believe that another person

is not-OK, they must at some level

believe that they themselves are not-OK.

• For example, Stewart and Joines (1987,

p. 123) said "that I+U- is often a defence

against I-U+."

• Tony White said that the "I'm OK, You're

not-OK" position be described as "I'm

not-OK, but You're worse" (I-,U--).

Is I+U+ the best life position?

True winner position

• How effectively assertive - statetheir needs and wants incontradiction to another person'sneeds.

• Tony White - "I'm a Bit More OKThan You Are" (I++U+).

• The I+U+ individual differs fromthe I++U+ person in that thelatter enjoys the niceties of life ifhe or she can afford them. At thesame time, the I++U+ personsees others as OK so he or she isnot greedy or exploitative.

Development

• From a developmental point ofview, children start in the I+U?position.

• If given total permission, theywill either stay as I+U? or morelikely move to I-U--.

• If, instead, they are given thecorrect quota of positiveconditional and unconditionalstrokes, as well as negativeconditional strokes, then theywill end up in either I+U+ orI++U+.

Seven life positions – Tony White

1. "I'm OK, You're Irrelevant" (I+U?)

2. "I'm not-OK, You're Irrelevant" (I-U?)

3. "I'm not-OK, You're not-OK" (I-U-)

4. "I'm not-OK, But You're Worse" (I-U--)

5. "I'm a Bit More OK Than You Are" (I++U+)

6. "I'm OK, You're OK" (I+U+)

7. "I'm not-OK, You're OK" (I-U+)

"I'm OK, You're Irrelevant" (I+U?)

• Position at birth

• No sense of boundaries between

self and others

• Animistic thinking

• Narcissistic personality

• Ideas of reference

• Dependent personality

• Normal stage of development.

"I'm OK, You're Irrelevant" (I+U?)• The newborn from birth to 12

months feels omnipotent.• The infant sees mother/caretaker

and self as having a commonboundary and does not perceivehimself or herself as being aseparate entity.

• The infant is in a state of twilightexistence in which he or she doesnot seem to know where he orshe begins and where the otherleaves off.

• It is only after achieving thisstrong attachment in the first 12months that the baby spends thenext 24 months endeavouring tobecome a separate individual.

"I'm not-OK, You're Irrelevant" (I-U?)

• Similar to the I+U? position.• In this case, however, the person

decides he or she is not-OK.• This position develops from the

I+U? position as soon as theyoung child is confronted withparenting that is sufficientlyadverse to cause the child todecide that he or she is not-OK.

• Logically, as soon as onedevelops a sense of others'OKness, then the positions ofI+U? and I-U? can no longer bemaintained.

"I'm not-OK, You're not-OK" (I-U-)

• Similar to prior descriptions inthat it is a "Get-nowhere-with"position.

• Such individuals, however, havea sense of self and of theirboundaries.

• As a result, this group does notinclude those abnormal states inwhich there are boundaryproblems.

• This position develops from theIU? position when the child isallowed to form a sense of self.Often the schizoid personalityfalls into this life position.

"I'm not-OK, But You're Worse" (I-U--)

• This position was previouslyreferred to as the I+U- lifeposition.

• Although at the behavioural levelI+U- seems to be the correctdescription for such individuals, itfails to indicate that they havetheir own feelings of not-OKnessand view others as being less OKto convince themselves that theyare OK.

• Therapeutically it is moreeffective to diagnose such aperson as IU-- because thisdesignation confronts the denialstrategy used by him or her.

"I'm a Bit More OK Than You Are" (I++U+)

• The winner or autonomyposition, previouslydescribed as the I+U+position.

• In normal development thisposition naturally followsfrom the previous I+U?position, roughly around theage of four (depending onthe theory of childdevelopment to which onesubscribes).

"I'm OK, You're OK" (I+U+)

• This position does notdefine the individuals whowill cope best or mosteffectively in life.

• Rather, people in thisposition will tend to be tooaccommodating to others'needs, thus manifestingqualities similar to thosefound in the I-U+ position.

• However, the I+U+individual is not a self-hateras is the I-U+ person.

"I'm not-OK, You're OK" (I-U+)

• Similar to previous

ideas about this

position.

• The depressive

position of "Get-

away from."

OK modes model

• This model shows how wecommunicate or behavewith others. It consists often Modes with a centralMindful Process.

• When we come from thegreen Modes we invite apositive response, andwhen we communicatefrom a red Mode, we invitea response from one of thered Modes.

OK modes model

• The central circle element,upon which the full modelis built, is in itself arepresentation of effectivecommunication.

• When we are in the one ofthe four effective Modesshown around the circle weare responsive to thepresent situation.

OK modes model

• Generally when somethingis said from an effectiveMode the response fromthe other person is alsolikely to be from aneffective Mode.

• Equally, where acommunication comesfrom an ineffective Mode,the invitation is for theother person to respondfrom one of the ineffectiveModes.

OK modes model

Effective Modes Ineffective Modes

Structuring Criticizing

Inconsistent

Supporting Interfering

Co-creating Over-adapted

Oppositional

Playful Reckless

Mindful Process

• Not a Mode, this is arequirement or conditionenabling effective Modes to beaccessed/used.

• When we are operatingmindfully, we communicate'OK to OK' messages.

• We operate appropriately inthe here-and-now and haveaccess to the positive aspectsof the care and structure wehave received in the past andthe experiences we had inchildhood.

Effective Modes

• Structuring Mode - This is theboundary setting Mode, offeringconstructive criticism. In this Modewe are caring whilst firm.

• Supporting Mode - When in thisMode we are affirming andconsiderate.

• Co-creating Mode - From thisMode we develop ways to help uslive and work with others.

• Playful Mode - This is the creative,fun loving, curious and energeticMode. We can confront peopleplayfully as a way of dealing with adifficult situation.

Ineffective Modes• Criticizing Mode - communicates a

"You're not OK" message. When in thisMode you will believe that otherscannot do things as well as you can, orperhaps only certain chosen people can.

• Inconsistent Mode - As a leader wemight be inconsistent in our style -changing our behavior in unpredictableand apparently random ways. This is nothelpful for followers (or leaders).

• Interfering Mode - communicates a"You're not OK" message. When in thisMode the person will often do things forothers which they are capable of doingfor themselves. People who find itdifficult to delegate might

Ineffective Modes• Over-adapted Mode - This expresses an "I'm

not OK" or "I'm not OK and You're Not OK"message. When in this Mode we over-adaptto others and tend to experience suchemotions as depression or unrealistic fearand anxiety.

• Oppositional Mode - Even when opposingothers, we are not actually free to think forourselves as we are reacting to them in thebelief that we need to 'resist' them.

• Reckless Mode - In this Mode we run wildwith no boundaries. Here we express a"You're not OK" message. At work we tendnot to take responsibility for our actions andare unlikely to progress as we need a greatdeal of management in order to focus ourenergy and keep boundaries.