Life Beyond Self Doubt

LIFE BEYOND SELF DOUBT BY JEFFERSON SANTOS

It doesn't matter if your field is business, sports, or the arts. It doesn't matter if you're a gazillionaire or dirt poor. All people, great and unknown, have one thing in common: they experience self-doubt.

They told themselves, "Wait a minute! You might not be able to pull this off!"

Sound familiar?

Because the truth is, you’ve encountered self-doubt and so have I. We've all had that voice that, for what-

ever reason, made us stop and think we couldn't do something.

You are not alone in this. Hundreds of years ago, William Shakespeare himself wrote, "our doubts

are traitors and make us lose the good we oft' might win by fearing to attempt." He understood that self-doubt is basically fear of what might happen.

If you think about it, that's exactly what makes us human. Our ancestors would not have lasted very long, fend-ing for themselves in nature, if they didn't have a fear of what might happen. People with no fear (they don't exist, by the way) would probably charge right out there and get themselves eaten by something bigger than

them. Fear, it turns out, is a good thing.

But self-doubt, if it doesn't go away or isn't overcome, can be bad. Overcoming self-doubt is what separates the frustrated from the successful. Self-doubt can stop us from trying. But you can’t let it.

In addition to the anxiety that it creates inside us, self-doubt can also freeze us up as we think too much about something instead of acting. Can it be done? Should it be done? Why is this…? And down you go the questioning-rabbit-hole until you aren't doing anything at all. And that begins with self-doubt. 

We are going to stop that from happening in your life starting today. I want to help you identify all the self-

doubt in your existence so you can live your life to the fullest.

We are going to push self-doubt aside so you can stop hesitating and start going for it. And, incredibly, we are

going to turn self-doubt into your new personal power.

GREAT MEN AND WOMEN THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON....

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Healthy, Wealthy, Happy: LIFE BEYOND SELF-DOUBT

We'll accomplish this together by looking at three things in this blog post. We're going to identify what

exactly self-doubt is. We'll look at what behaviors in your life come from self-doubt. And we're going to de-velop strategies to reduce that all the self-doubt in your life that has been keeping you from becoming

your desired self.

Boy, did I ever suffer from self-doubt. My first twenty or so years, from elementary to college, I played football. And, for whatever reason, the teams that I was on really stunk up the field. We never won anything and didn't do well.

I, of course, that it was I was the problem. Never mind that these were team sports, I was convinced that I was the reason we never won anything.

Then I went out into the business world and couldn't get anything going for the first eight years. And again, I thought it was me. Maybe I was unlucky or wasn't living up to what a "successful" person was supposed to be. 

It wasn't until I got over myself and turned my attention outward and started helping people that I realized that

there was more to life than winning and being successful on other people's terms. It clicked once I turned to others and made it my mission to be of service. What I’ve learned is what I'm

sharing with you today.

#1: WHAT IS SELF-DOUBT?

The first step toward understanding the nature of self-doubt is recognizing that it's universal. It happens to

everyone, from Warren Buffet (who's publicly spoken about his fight with self-doubt) and world leaders to

the people in your neighborhood just trying to get by.

Remember those instincts that we’ve held onto from our ancestors? Just because we don't hunt for our food any-more doesn't mean they’ve left us. Even today those instincts are what drive us to work hard, raise our families the right way, and be better human beings. We all have them. 

And self-doubt is right there in the mix inside all of us.

 By understanding that it's universal you can minimize the impact it will have on your life. It's manageable. It

comes and goes. It doesn't need to be the thing that defines you or controls your life. There it is. We all have it. Let's examine it closer.

 Self-doubt is a belief that you can't do something. Sometimes the reason is legit. Sometimes it's not. But the idea that you can't do something will come from somewhere inside your brain that says, there's a reason you

shouldn't do this.

 The great painter Vincent Van Gogh, a man who wasn't even recognized in his lifetime, said about self-

doubt, "“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”

 It's important to realize that self-doubt is an idea, not a real thing. It only prevents you from doing something if you

let it. The act of thinking that you can't do something does not mean that you won't do something. It's a belief. 

 And if you can believe something, you can just as easily, believe the opposite.

 Now dictionaries define self-doubt as, "a lack of confidence in oneself or one's abilities". And it’s important to note that this is different than low self-esteem. Having self-doubt does not mean you have low self-esteem. Plenty of people with high self-esteem also suffer from self-doubt. And many people with low self-esteem do not suffer from self-doubt. At least, not all the time.

 So there’s proof that self-doubt is temporary. And the quickest way out of it is to understand where it came from in the first place.

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#2: WHAT ARE SOME BEHAVIORS IN YOUR LIFE THAT ARE LEADING TO THIS SELF-BOUBT?

Well, not be a smartie, but you're living life and that's where self-doubt comes from. The moment you step out

the door, there's a chance that you will doubt yourself because you're doing stuff that may or may not

turn out the way you'd like.

 Where self-doubt comes from within you is a big issue that would take a book, not a blog post, to explain.

Your sense of self is a complex thing that comes from inside your brain and there are lots of factors

that go into what you think you are.

 But self-doubt will basically come from two things. 

 The first is a fear of failure. And what exactly that failure looks like can mean lots of things depending

on the situation. Failure can be not completing something, doing it wrong, doing it differently than it was in-tended and so on. Look, there's lots of ways to fail. And your mind can quickly lock up when it thinks that a failure is coming.

 So now you’re not trying new things or not challenging yourself because you’re afraid to fail. The natural in-

stinct, in fact, is to put as much distance as possible between yourself and failure. Think about it. You

haven’t chosen a profession that you're terrible at. That wouldn't make sense. You’ve picked a job that you

know you can do. You keep success as close to you as you can.

 But that same instinct can keep you from trying new things. By not trying, you're actually failing in another way. One that won't help you in the long run. 

 The most common types of these behaviors are procrastination and not putting in a full effort.

 The other source of self-doubt can come from the inability to express our desired self.

 Psychologists have found that there are two ideas of the self: the possible self and the desired self. The possi-

ble self is the mental representation of all your hopes and fears. And your desired self is the realistic

goals you see yourself achieving.

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 When we're disconnected from that desired self, basically when we don't have concrete goals in mind, we start to

self-doubt. It makes sense. You can't know if you're on the right path if you don't have a destination. 

 It sounds like a comedy routine: Are we lost? I don't know, where are we going?

 And so people with a strong desired self have less self-doubt.

 Those two things, fear of failure and disconnect from the desired self, are at the heart of this univer-sal feeling of self-doubt. But if you can believe something about yourself, then you can also turn it around and

believe the opposite.

No less than the great Kobe Bryant himself, a man who at his peak had no peer, has talked about his chal-

lenges in life and how he's doubted even his own abilities. He said, "I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I'm like, my back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don't have it. I just want to chill. We all have self-doubt. You don't deny it, but you also don't capitulate to it. You em-brace it.”

 So you see that self-doubt can come from your mind, your experience, or even actual aches and pains that make

you think you can’t do something. But the key is to not give in to self-doubt, or let it paralyze you and keep you

from becoming and doing the next thing. The key is to embrace it and use it as fuel to keep going. 

There are a few ways we can do this.

#3: HOW TO REDUCE SELF-DOUBT IN OUR LIVES.

 Remember, self-doubt is natural and universal. So we'll never fully get rid of it. It's followed us from

when we lived in the wild and had to hunt for our food. It kept us alive then and it will keep us alive today.

In fact, by using self-doubt as the fuel to propel us into our desired selves, that is what we truly call

living. Now you’re creating the person you want to be. But first you will need to push aside that

self-doubt.

 The first step to silencing that pesky voice that's telling you that you can't do something is to take stock of what areas in your life are filled with self-doubt.

 Where is that doubting voice the loudest in your life? Is it at work? Is it at home? Maybe it’s with your friends or within your personal fitness goals. Take an honest assessment of where in your life you seem to believe that you can't do as much as you'd like for whatever reason or another.

 You may start to notice some common feelings or thoughts in these areas. Be aware of those commonalities. Are

you finding that you can't speak up with other people? Is it the fear that you'll twist your ankle because you

injured it back in college? What are the factors that give rise to that voice in your head that's telling you not to do something? 

 This is an important step because there may be connections just under the surface that you're just not realiz-

ing.

 The second step is look at a situation that happened recently and ask yourself, "Could I have looked at that differ-ently?"

 We all experience things in different ways at different points in our lives.

The way you experienced life at age five is different than how you experience life now.

 And with that life experience, comes a whole bunch of tools for examining your life. Now you're able to control

how you look at things and how they’ll affect you. It’s important to harness that power of mean-ing.

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 This is the key to silencing self-doubt. Understanding that you have power over the meaning of

something. You can control the reasons that you do things and how they affect you. You can experience something and turn what would lead you to self-doubt into something that instead gives

you self-confidence.

 I'll give you an example. Say there's a promotion at work you want. But you're worried that you won't get it. Your self-doubt is telling you to play it safe and not get your hopes us. But by not going for it, you open the door for all sorts of other issues. Like you won't know what you're worth to your company. You'll feel like a chicken for not applying for the promotion. And worse, you may have someone that you think is not as good at their job getting that job and now they're your boss!

 No way! Take control and go for it. Turn that self-doubt into a reason for self-confidence.

 Once you do, you'll either get the promotion (congrats!) or you won't and you'll know where you stand with

your company and how you compare with others in the business. At that point, you’ll have experience, knowledge, and the confidence for the next promotion that comes along. 

 You just looked at something in a whole new way and now you're in control!

 The third step once again requires your rigorous examination. You need to look at what factors

in your life are leading to that self-doubt.

 Was it family circumstances? Behavior? Events? Someone close to you putting negativity in your ear? It's

important to find common threads just like the first step above.

 Once you've isolated these factors, get rid of them whatever way you can. Talk it out, hash it out, whatever. Let people and things around you know that you won't tolerate any more of their contributions to your self-doubt. Life is hard enough.

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 These three steps seem like hard work, but trust me, you're worth it. If you want to be great, you have to work on yourself. That self-doubt won't go away until you make it.

Look, that feeling you get while you doubt yourself, just sitting there paralyzed, isn't a good one. Believe me, I know.

 So go on, take stock of your life and find those areas of self-doubt. A lack of confidence isn't the same as a lack of ability. It's a mental game. And it's a game that you now have the tools to win.

 I'll be looking further into the sources of self-doubt in an upcoming post, but in the meantime work on what I've outlined above.

 In no time, you'll start to see and feel the change inside you. Hey, you're now one step closer to your desired self!

Until next time, I look forward to helping you arrive at your next intended destination healthy, wealthy, and happy!

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Jefferson Santos grew up in Richardson, Texas and attended Texas Christian University and played football at the Naval Academy. Jefferson is like many entrepreneurs who just decided one day that he wanted to be in charge of his own career. However, at the age of 25 he was $1,100 negative in his bank account, $70,000 in debt and decided he was in need of a change. Through guidance, self-improvement and commitment he turned his dream into a realist. Jefferson is now a multi-million dollar earner and has a team of over 300,000 leaders in 30 countries and it continues to grow every day.

Jefferson’s goal is to help YOU arrive at your intended destination healthy, wealthy and happy.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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www.JeffersonSantos.com