1 W hen I first became a pastor, my dad (also a pastor), offered this advice to me: “Take a moment on Mondays to sit in the sanctuary where specific members of your congregation sit and replay the message you delivered on Sunday in your head. Imagine how they received it. Then go visit them. Ask what they heard and what it meant to them. “ I took my dad’s advice and sought to follow this practice as a new pastor. In doing so, two things happened: first, I was humbled to see what message they received, and second, I was helped in discovering what they actually were seeking and needing. During my first year as Director of Aging & Older Adult Ministries, I have also sought to follow this practice. In listening to church leaders I have looked for affirmations, questions, and CONTENTS 1 • I’m Listening 3 • Committee on Older Adult Ministries Meets 4 • Grant Awards Announcement 5 • Face To Face: A New Program Ministry for Older Adults From The Upper Room 6 • Intergenerational: It’s Natural 9 • Answering The Call: Faith Leaders Respond to Elder Abuse OFFICE ON AGING & OLDER ADULT MINISTRIES Staff Will Randolph, Director Lisa Edge, Project Coordinator PO Box 340003 Nashville, TN 37203-0003 Phone: 877-899-2780 Ext. 7173 Fax: 615-340-7071 Email: [email protected]Website: www.aging-umc.org continued on page 2 I’M LISTENING BY REV. DR. WILLIAM RANDOLPH Newsletter of the Office on Aging and Older Adult Ministries | Issue 27 • Fall 2014 THE S.A.G.E. SPIRITUALLY AGING GRACEFULLY EMPOWERED
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THE S.A.G.E. | 1
W hen I first became a pastor, my
dad (also a pastor), offered this
advice to me: “Take a moment
on Mondays to sit in the sanctuary where
specific members of your congregation sit
and replay the message you delivered on
Sunday in your head. Imagine how they
received it. Then go visit them. Ask what
they heard and what it meant to them. “
I took my dad’s advice and sought to
follow this practice as a new pastor. In
doing so, two things happened: first, I
was humbled to see what message they
received, and second, I was helped in
discovering what they actually were
seeking and needing.
During my first year as Director of
Aging & Older Adult Ministries, I have
also sought to follow this practice.
In listening to church leaders I have
looked for affirmations, questions, and
CONTENTS1 • I’m Listening
3 • Committee on Older Adult Ministries Meets
4 • Grant Awards Announcement
5 • Face To Face: A New Program Ministry for Older Adults From The Upper Room
6 • Intergenerational: It’s Natural
9 • Answering The Call: Faith Leaders Respond to Elder Abuse
OFFICE ON AGING & OLDER ADULT MINISTRIES
Staff
Will Randolph, DirectorLisa Edge, Project Coordinator
publishing testimonies of how intergenerational ministries
have changed lives and creating a form for sharing
intergenerational ministry ideas and practices. The
committee also will work to create training webinars and
other training opportunities in Intergenerational ministry.
OTHER MEETING NOTES
The Committee on Older Adult Ministries discussed a
number of other items including renewal of resolutions
regarding older adults in the Book of Resolutions of The
United Methodist Church, developing resources needed by
local churches, areas of focus of the United Methodist
Church, and ways to stay connected between meetings.
We welcomed new members of the Committee, and
heard reports from all of the United Methodist agencies
and jurisdictions. Our next gathering is scheduled for
Nashville, on October 5-7, 2015.
COMMITTEE ON OLDER ADULT MINISTRIES MEETSBY REV. DR. WILLIAM RANDOLPH
4 | THE S.A.G.E.
PERCENTAGE OF APPLICATIONS RECEIVING GRANTS BY JURISDICTION:
BY THE NUMBERS:• 23 Conferences had a church to receive a grant• Largest Grant was $4,000 (maximum set)• Smallest Grant was for $100. • Average size of grant award was $1936.• 31.9 % of the amount of total funds requested granted.• 50.8% of grant applications awarded grant money.
CHURCHES AWAREDED GRANTS:CENTRAL JURISDICTION
• First United Methodist Church, Baguio City Philippines• Light & Life United Methodist Church, Visayas Philippines• Southern Nigeria United Methodist Cooperative • Sta. Ana United Methodist Church, Bulacan Philippines
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $10,000.00
NORHTEASTERN JURISDICTION
• Hopewell United Methodist Church• La Plata United Methodist Church• Spring City United Methodist Church
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $10,000.00
NORTH CENTRAL JURISDICTION
• Alger First United Methodist Church• Canton Calvary Mission• Hope Ridge United Methodist Church• Manorville United Methodist Church
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $4,180.00
SOUTHEASTERN JURISDICTION
• Ashland Place United Methodist Church• Beauty Spot United Methodist Church
• Black Mountain United Methodist Church• Edisto Fork United Methodist Church• Fairfields United Methodist Church• Forest Lake United Methodist Church• Georgetown-Chunchula United Methodist Church• Goodsell United Methodist Church• Gordon Memorial United Methodist Church• New Beginnings United Methodist Church• Propst Memorial United Methodist Church• Rising Hope United Methodist Mission Church• Sixty-First Avenue United Methodist Church• St. Paul United Methodist Church• Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church• Woodbine United Methodist Church
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $28,350.00
SOUTH CENTRAL JURISDICTION
• Aledo United Methodist Church• Meriden United Methodist Church
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $3,500.00
WESTERN JURISDICTION
• First United Methodist Church, Sacramento, CA• Green Valley Community Church
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED: $4,000.00
TOTAL GRANTS AWARDED ACROSS ALL JURISDICTIONS: $60,030.00
GRANT AWARDS ANNOUNCEMENT
THE S.A.G.E. | 5
In 2009, Danny Morris, longtime staff at The Upper Room,
arrived in the offices of Greg Engroff and Victor Perez, both
program ministry staff of The Walk to Emmaus Ministries, with
an idea.
“We need to create a program like Emmaus for people 60 years
and older,” Morris said.
Recalling that conversation, Engroff says, “I remember that we
had a hundred other things going on, and we told Morris it just
wasn’t the time to start something new.”
In spite of all Emmaus had going on, Morris was persistent
with his idea and convinced Emmaus Ministries to let him do
preliminary work on what eventually became known as Face to
Face, a developing Emmaus-like ministry of The Upper Room
for people 60 and older.
“We finally told Danny that he could check-in with us once a
week on how the program was coming along,” says Engroff,
“and over time we started to believe in it.”
Now, thanks to Morris’ tenacity, Face to Face will launch in
communities nation-wide beginning in January 2015. With
pilot programs that have functioned in the Nashville area since
2009—and with tremendous volunteer support from Nashville
Emmaus members, Brenda Burgett and Peter Cassidy, —what
was once an idea is now a reality.
An adaptation of The Walk to Emmaus, Face to Face is specifically
crafted to meet the needs of older adults. The program seeks to
invite men and women to experience Jesus through an 8-session
journey through the New Testament scriptures. Led by clergy
and lay leaders, Face to Face strengthens and renews followers
of Christ and bolsters the spiritual life of individuals, families,
and congregations everywhere.
“One of the things we hear folks consistently praising is the fact
that Face to Face doesn’t require them to stay overnight,” says
Engroff. “There is flexibility to the way the sessions take place.”
In fact, Face to Face allows adults the freedom to participate
in structured Bible study and prayer in a church setting or
other community space with great flexibility of schedule. The
communities who want to offer Face to Face can do so based on
what best fits the unique needs of their participants.
“At the end of the day,” says Engroff, “we want Face to Face to
reengage older adults in the love and grace of God.”
In March 2014, Hess “Doc” Hall, a United Methodist pastor was
hired as the full-time Face to Face program manager. With great
enthusiasm and vision, Hall is currently working with Emmaus
communities throughout the country so they can begin offering
Face to Face in the spring of 2015.
“It is our hope that Face to Face will engage older adults in this
version of The Walk to Emmaus and participants and leaders,
alike, will understand more fully the presence of God among
us,” says Hall.
If you are interested in learning more about how to bring Face to
Face to a community center or church near you, please contact
visit our website http://facetoface.upperroom.org to view a
short, two-minute video with testimonials from Face to Face
participants.
A NEW PROGRAM MINISTRY FOR OLDER ADULTS FROM THE UPPER ROOMBY HESS HALL, JR.
6 | THE S.A.G.E.
I ntergenerational living is
becoming a hot topic among
mature adults (we don’t want to
be boomers and certainly not older
adults). And it should be. Recent
high school graduates and recently
retired adults have much in common.
Younger adults aspire to possess
all that older adults have acquired
over decades. Grandchildren favor
grandparents among all other people.
We are uniquely positioned to be
able to connect with, learn with, and
continue to mature with all ages.
But while this may be an issue that
intrigues mature adults, it’s not always
evident that this is the case with other
generations. This raises the question:
“Why not?” Why are we not all together
in this intergenerational endeavor?
Well, sociologists, demographers,
educators, insurance actuaries,
and even the church have found it
convenient and useful to talk about
chronological age as a delineator
in discussing life. That sets the age
groups apart. From an early age, we
are divided into same-age groups.
We become comfortable talking with
those who are our same age. And we
INTERGENERATIONAL:IT’S NATURAL BY MARVIN W. CROPSEY
are limited in our interactions with
those of other ages. Let me explain.
One way to look at this is to cast an eye
both to the youngest and the oldest on
our age continuum. At its extremes,
generationalism pictures children
as pre-people and the aged as post-
people. In the typical home, school, or
church in nearly every way we suggest
to children that their “job” is to grow
up and become contributing adult
citizens. They are all potential. All they
have to do is listen carefully to what
we adults tell them, watch us closely,
and obey us unconditionally. If they
do all these things and get to a magical
age, they will finally be human. At the
other end of the spectrum, the aged
are led to believe that they are finished,
used up, decrepit, and in the way. No
wonder the boomer generation rejects
the appellation older adults.
The truth is that children are fully
human sometime before birth. They
do not have to work to become
something that God made them from
the beginning. And aged adults never
cease to be human. God made them
for life-long growth. Even dying is a
learning experience.
My views on being human were
shaped by this unique experience.
During my high school years I cared
for a newborn with catastrophic birth
defects, abandoned at a huge “school
THE S.A.G.E. | 7
for the mentally retarded.” This child,
not even named by his parents, lay on
a cot every hour of his life, deemed
incapable of any activities that we
think are signs of a quality life. Yet,
when I hummed a tune or sang a
song, he would move his eyes and
smile crookedly. One day when he
was several months old I asked to
take him outside into the sunshine
of a gorgeous spring day. Several days
later, my request was granted. As soon
as the warmth and light fell on his face,
it was transformed. For the first time
he laughed. Birds sang and his arms
lifted. When a gentle breeze touched
his beautiful skin, he shuddered
happily. I cried because God showed
me his child was fully human and
completely loved.
I also have another experience that has
been equally shaping for me. I often
have shared heartfelt conversation
with persons in their 80s, 90s, and
older. These talks often sound like
confessionals. I am told, “When I was
thirty, I imagined being an old woman.
My imagined self was happy, full of joy
for a life well lived. I knew who I was,
who God is, and I loved that God and
I were so much in agreement. Well,
now I am 80 and I have many regrets
about life. I don’t live confidently. And
I certainly don’t feel in union with
God.”
It breaks my heart to hear her go on, “I
think God must be very disappointed
with me. What is wrong with me?” My
reply is swift and edgy. “My goodness,
friend, there is nothing wrong with
you except you are completely
naïve to think that you could have
reached perfection in this life. Human
perfection is reached upon death.
And it is God’s accomplishment, not
human’s. Why would you expect
to reach your destination without
finishing the trip?”
With these two stories I want to take
you back to the idea of segmenting life
into childhood, teens, and adulthood.
I don’t deny these; I want to give you
a different vision, a holistic vision. Life
is all addition. There is no subtraction
in the process of living. That is to
say, from the time you take your first
breath you are accumulating life.
The care that someone gives you (or
the neglect), when you first realize
that there are more persons than
your mother, the first time you hear
music or see a cat, the first time you
are praised or scolded (and all the
times after), these become a part of
what makes you who you are at this
moment and who you will be later.
They keep adding up: getting a failing
grade in school, joining the Scouts,
winning or losing your ballgame,
driving a car, graduating from college,
pledging your love to another, giving
life to a new baby, changing careers,
watching your parent die, retiring from
a career, struggling with aging health
issues, contemplating the end of your
own life. And every conversation you
ever had with God in joy, fear, anger,
confusion. These add up one at a
time. You forget many, but they never
disappear from your life. You have not
left your childhood behind; you have
carried it with you. The same is true of
your teen years and young adult years.
Your one life is unified. On your last
day, all that you ever were – you are
still.
Of course, children need to obtain all
of life’s knowledge and wisdom from
those who lived it before them, but
fortunate are those children who are
able to find an independent creative
path in life. Fortunate, too, are those
adults who are able to be as little
children with all the wonder and
excitement of a new day forever before
them. Understanding the oneness of
life can help build wholeness in life so
that when we get to the end we don’t
have regrets and don’t wonder what is
wrong with us.
It seems convenient to talk about life’s
stages in order to focus on a particular
moment and manage it. But we don’t
actually live so conveniently. Yes,
we can mark the very day that we
move from childhood into our teens;
it is your thirteenth birthday. But
can you identify the day you moved
emotionally and behaviorally? I doubt
8 | THE S.A.G.E.
it was a single day. Can you look back
at your life and name the day you
became a young adult? Or middle
adult? Or mature adult?
So how do we live out the reality of
intergenerational life in the church?
Start by looking at every aspect of
life in your congregation and asking
“why?”. Here are some examples:
Why must acolytes be only children?
Why must ushers only be adults? Why
can’t these roles be age integrated?
What learning adventures can be
developed by assembling a small group
of recent high school grads and retirees
to study God’s place in life’s transitions
and the amazing similarities for both
ages? How might all benefit from such
discussion? How might retirees, who
often feel they have earned a rest from
long years of leadership ministry, be
re-integrated into the active ministry
of the church, perhaps with children
and teens? How valuable might a
parenting class be if it was instead a
family class and the children actually
got to tell parents how they might like
to be parented? How enriched would
worship be with younger people
taking regular roles instead of having
their own once-a-year day? What
great things might happen if young
people were involved in the caregiving
ministries of the church like helping to
prepare food and deliver it to the sick
and the grieving?
Our why’s and our why not’s can
lead us to reimagining the ways tasks
are assigned, the ways we grow as
disciples, the ways we interact with
others of a different age, the ways we
exhibit leadership, the ways we serve.
The possibilities are bountiful.
Let’s find the will to match them.
Intergenerational? Sure! It’s natural.
Marvin Cropsey is Chair
of the Committee on
Older Adult Ministries of
GBOD. He is the retired
editor of Mature Years magazine.
Marvin is currently Managing Editor of
Quadrennial Resources for The United
Methodist Publishing House and United
Methodist General Conference.
WELCOMING LISA EDGE - COORDINATOR FOR AGING AND OLDER ADULT MINISTRIESThe Office of Aging and Older Adult Ministries is pleased to introduce Lisa Edge as its new Coordinator. She will be filling the role that Teri Kline left upon her retirement in July, 2014.
Lisa and her husband, Todd, are recent Nashville transplants by way of the Northern Illinois Conference. She has spent most of her life in the Chicago suburbs, most recently leaving a 12 year administrative career at the University of Chicago. She also brings a long list of local church experience with her, having been a lay speaker since 1995, serving on almost every committee that the church has to offer, and held the office of Lay Leader for 5 years with enthusiasm and great joy, and even sometimes, she says, a little dread. Lisa truly believes that God laid the path for her to start a new career with Discipleship Ministries that is the culmination of both her previous professional experience and her passion for church service.
Lisa is the proud and most awesome mom to her adult children, Michele, Jimmy and Lauren. She and her husband have advocated for and adopted many retired racing greyhounds over the years, with their hearts currently belonging to Miss Breezy June (aka AMF Gentle Breez) and Miss Lucy Doodle (aka CG’s Lowell). Lisa also likes to read, cook, clean up dog hair, add to her Netflix list and crochet, even though she’s not very good at it.
If you need her to answer any of your questions relating to the Office of Aging and Older Adult Ministries, The Comprehensive Plan for Older Adult Ministries or the United Methodist Committee on Older Adult Ministries, you can reach her at [email protected] or 877-899-2780 ext. 7177 or 615-340-7177.
THE S.A.G.E. | 9
After the death of her husband, Louise called Pastor
Thompson to make arrangements for the funeral.
Louise and George had been members of the parish
for many years; in his younger days, George had served on
the Trustees, while Louise was a regular in the choir and
helped to teach Vacation Bible School. Pastor Thompson
arrived, and was quick to offer his heartfelt condolences.
Louise was sad, but she was also relieved. The years of
emotional, verbal, and physical abuse were over. While
others saw George and Louise as a model couple, George
was a different man behind closed doors. The abuse
escalated after he retired and he and Louise were home
together more often. Now, with George gone, Louise turned
to Pastor Thompson and for the first time told him what
life was really like with George.
There are many forms of elder abuse; the “domestic violence
grown old” that Louise was subjected to is one. Research
suggests that 10% of older adults in the U.S. are victims of
elder abuse, and for older adults with dementia, that figure
jumps to 47%. Elder abuse includes “physical, sexual or
psychological abuse, as well as neglect, abandonment,
and financial exploitation . . . that occurs in any setting
(e.g., home, community, or facility), either in a relationship
where there is an expectation of trust and/or when an
older person is targeted based on age or disability.” Both
men and women are affected regardless of their education,
ethnicity, faith, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation,
physical ability, language, or country of origin. The hard
reality is that most abusers are spouses, intimate partners,
or family members, and most abuse happens in the home.
Older adults who are abused are three times more likely to
die prematurely than their non-abused peers.
Louise is not alone in turning to her faith leader for help.
A 2003 study found that “older women would seek help
from a place of worship if they experienced abuse.” A 2008
study of victims of elder abuse found that, “Respondents,
especially minorities, often indicated that their ‘first stop’
would be a member of the clergy if they were to discuss
their domestic violence with anyone.” The recently released
Elder Justice Roadmap, which provides strategic guidance
in the field of elder abuse, confirms the critically important
role that faith leaders (clergy and lay) can play.
Why are faith leaders so important? It turns out that only
1 in 24 cases of elder abuse is ever reported to official
agencies such as Adult Protective Services. Many, many
victims, just like Louise, don’t or can’t tell anyone. The
Elder Justice Roadmap comments, “Individuals who do not
specialize and are not trained in elder abuse issues (e.g.,
police officers, bank tellers, letter carriers, or clergy) may
be the only ones in a position to notice that abuse may be
occurring . . . . They are potential allies whose involvement
is critical to an informed approach to prevention, detection,
reporting, and response.” For Louise, who had suffered in
ANSWERING THE CALL:FAITH LEADERS RESPOND TO ELDER ABUSEBY REV. DR. ANNE MARIE HUNTER, DIRECTOR
10 | THE S.A.G.E.
silence for 50 years, it was a tremendous relief to be able to
talk to Pastor Thompson honestly.
America is aging dramatically, with the population of adults
over 65 projected to expand to about 72.1 million (19%)
by 2030. The United Methodist Church’s ability to respond
to the needs of older victims of abuse is vitally important.
Faith leaders (clergy and lay) who visit older adults in
homes, hospitals, and nursing homes might notice when
there is a sudden change in behavior or spending patterns,
unexplained injuries, or other “red flags” of abuse. We
can look for abuse that might otherwise go unnoticed or
unreported, and we can help older adults get the services
and support they need to live in safety. A new IMA World
Health/Sojourners study found that 80% of Protestant
pastors would help their congregants with abuse if they
had the training and resources to do so.
A good place to start is with Safe Havens Interfaith
Partnership Against Domestic Violence, an agency founded
in 1991 by a United Methodist pastor, given its first seed
money by the General Board of Global Ministries, and
supported by the New England Conference. Safe Havens
has recently partnered with the National Clearinghouse on
Abuse in Later Life (NCALL) on groundbreaking resources
called “Where Faith and Safety Meet.” The resources
provide information about what elder abuse is, how to
recognize “red flags” and warning signs, safety planning,
referrals, and what to do if you believe someone may be
a victim. There’s even a beautiful bookmark that raises
awareness.
Elder abuse is a complex problem that will require “a
coordinated, multidisciplinary, multi-agency, and multi-
system response.” You can begin to build a coordinated
response in your community by getting to know local
services such as sexual and domestic violence service
providers, the aging network (Area Agencies on Aging or
Councils on Aging), and Adult Protective Services.
As a faith leader, older victims of abuse may turn to you
for help. You know the community, are well respected and
trusted, and can encourage victims to focus on safety and
seek and accept services. Sexual and domestic violence
agencies, the aging network, and Adult Protective Services
bring additional expertise, services, and resources to the
table. Together we can respond to the needs of older
victims of abuse more effectively.
You can access the Where Faith and Safety Meet resources
(and download them for free) from Safe Havens’ website at
www.interfaithpartners.org. Or, you can contact the Safe
Havens office at 617-951-3980 or info@interfaithpartners.
org to order printed copies. Order a handful of the
bookmarks, and make them available in your congregation!
Fortunately for Louise, Pastor Thompson received training
on abuse from his local domestic violence agency. He
had also read Safe Havens’ Where Faith and Safety Meet
resources about elder abuse. He listened compassionately,
and he told Louise that the abuse was not her fault. He
reassured Louise that God was with her and would not
want her to be abused. He also found an older woman’s
support group run by a Council on Aging in a neighboring
town, and made sure Louise had a way to get there.
Over several years, Louise healed. Her life without
abuse is happy. She enjoys her grandchildren and great-
grandchildren, her church family, and her knitting. Like
Louise, all older victims deserve a safe, effective, and
collaborative response that can help them find hope and
healing.
Elder abuse is “a problem with solutions.” With education
and resources, faith leaders can answer the call and become
part of the solution.
THE S.A.G.E. | 11Anne Marie Hunter is an ordained Elder in the
United Methodist Church. She received her M.Div.
from Harvard University in 1986 and her Ph.D.
in Sociology of Religion from Drew University in
1991. She has worked for two battered women’s service groups
and has written and taught about domestic violence and faith for
more than 25 years. Her work on elder abuse began in 2008.
She is currently appointed by Bishop Sudarshana Devadhar of
the New England Conference to direct Safe Havens.
REFERENCES:
Lifespan of Greater Rochester, Inc., Weill Cornell Medical
Center of Cornell University, & New York City Department
for the Aging. (2011). Under the Radar: New York State
Drawing on 60 years of experience as pastor, hospice chaplain, volunteer, and
friend to dying persons, Richard Morgan offers perspective and advice to people
coping with a family member, friend, or patient who is approaching the time
of death. These 30 meditations take us from accepting our own mortality and
the impending death of someone we care about through “making preparations,”
“finding closure,” and “dying moments.” In each meditation Morgan uses personal
stories and scripture to lead into a reflection question and prayer. The result is a
sense of peace that gives readers confidence as companions to the dying.
1.800.972.0433 www.Upperroom.org/bookstore
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OFFICE ON AGING & OLDER ADULT [email protected] or toll-free 877-899-2780 ext. 7177, fax: 615-340-7071