Last part

50 Tips on Excellent Communication for LifePART 6.Presented By:

Tim Ervin

Counseling for Solutions, LLC

40. Communicate Effectively through Social MediaIf you are living in the 21st century and you are not aligned with Social media and the purpose of the most popular channels involved in it: then you are missing loads of massive interaction going on around you. Here are some highlights on how some popular type of social media are classified:

The purpose and utility of popular social media channels

The purpose and utility of popular social media channels

Communicate Effectively through Social MediaProponents of social networking sites say that the online communities promote increased interaction with friends and family; offer teachers, librarians, and students valuable access to educational support and materials; facilitate social and political change; and disseminate useful information rapidly.

Communicate Effectively through Social MediaOpponents of social networking say that the sites prevent face-to-face communication; waste time on frivolous activity; alter children’s brains and behavior making them more prone to ADHD; expose users to predators like pedophiles and burglars; and spread false and potentially dangerous information.

However the masses who communicate over social media consider it an indispensable channel, here are the figures:

Communicate Effectively through Social MediaEvery day, Face book manages 2.7 billion "Likes,” 300 million photo uploads, and 2.5 billion status updates and check-ins. Twitter, the second largest social networking site, had an estimated 107.7 million users in the United States (as of Jan. 31, 2012) and 500 million worldwide users (as of Sep. 28, 2012).

Communicate Effectively through Social MediaPinterest is the third largest social network with 23 million unique visitors in July 2012, followed by LinkedIn, Tagged, Google+, and MySpace.

59% of all Internet users use at least one social networking site.

A funny and summarized comparison posted on selected Social Media

41. Be in the Right Frame of Mind

Being in the right frame of mind contributes to successful assertiveness techniques such as: Anticipate other people's behavior and prepare your own responses. Role-play in your mind how things are likely to happen. Prepare other people to support and defend you.

“In adversary, remember to keep an even mind.”

HoraceGreat Roman lyric poet

Make it motivating for others to communicate with you.If you are under the pressure of a certain “Noise Factor” make it clear so nobody misinterprets your attitude.

42 . Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be Understood

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be UnderstoodTake it easy on others if they are influenced by any physical or psychological pressure. Be logical and have down-to-earth expectations that “Noise Factors” obstruct good communication and in turn the willingness to cooperate.

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be UnderstoodConsequences motivate: People are motivated by the consequences they anticipate.Match method to circumstances: when people simply want to know, explain what needs to be done and why.

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be UnderstoodWhen others face ability-barriers don’t pressure them; try to offer any support.Jointly explore root causes. Take care to avoid jumping in with your own solutions and conclusions. Empower others by allowing them to diagnose the real cause and to come up with workable solutions. Ask: “What do you think it’ll take?”

Make it Easy for Others to understand and Be UnderstoodWhen others can’t identify all the causes or a problem, jointly explore the underlying forces (Include yourself). Stimulate a brainstorming process by including your own view of what some of the barriers may be.Once you are finished with surfacing and resolving ability barriers, “pop the question”. Check if others are willing to do what’s required once you’ve taken steps to enable them.

Make it Easy for Others to Understand and Be UnderstoodSearch for the consequences that matter for the other person.Finish well; wrap up the conversation by who does what and by when. Then set a follow-up time.Try to make commitment painless for people who communicate with you and give them the enough time and space they need (considering their personality type).

43. Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible)Remember this tip: being focused and flexible will help you move fast forward and getting what you need. This Rule anchors on having good listening and problem solving skills.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible)When new problems emerge, remain flexible enough to deal with them – without losing focus. Each time you step up to a problem it should be by choice not by accident.When people feel unsafe, step out of the discussion bring the listener to a comfort zone, then slowly return.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible)When people don’t deliver on a promise because “something came up” , deal with it and bring it to other’s attention that must let you know when plans need to change as soon as possible in order to avoid having the recurr again in the future.Whenever a bigger problem emerges, step out of the original problem, leave a bookmark so you’ll know where to return, and then start over with the new problem.

Use the FF Rule (be Focused and Flexible) Once you’ve dealt with the emerging problem return to the original

issue. When others become upset, retrace their path to action to the root

cause; talking about the facts will help you dissipate negative emotions and will take you to the place where you can resolve the problem.

44. Seek Win-Win Problem Solving

Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes, what’s in for him or her? What are their preferences? ..and give this equal weight of importance to your priorities as you are communicating along.

45. Keep Your Promises

This is important to maintain the trust factor in your experience, reputation and credibility and to provide an anchor for a long-term communication. Therefore you need to be logical to promise only what you can deliver.

46. Meta-talk

"Metatalk" is talking about how to communicate - i.e. cooperative discussion between partners about their shared communication process. Use this skill to describe your communication so you can affirm what works, and improve what doesn't.

47. Use the “I” Message

Using "I" messages is part of effective communication. It is proven that using "I" messages will help solve situations, because rather than blaming the other person, you're simply telling them how you feel.

Use the “I” Message 1. Identify the situation or behavior you dislike. What is bugging you?

2. Recognize and state how what you disliked has stirred unwanted feeling inside you: e.g. “When I do something for you and you don’t thank me I feel I am unappreciated and this annoys me”.

Use the “I” Message 3. Ask for a solution. Simply ask for a solution! E.g. “So next time I help you with fixing your equipment I need you to simply smile and say thank You.

4. End your message with something like “I would be happy if you didn’t take my time for granted and motivated me to give you a hand”.

Summary Diagram on using

“I Messages”

48. Use Mirroring TechniquesIs the behavior in which one person copies another person usually while in social interaction with them. It may include miming gestures, movements, body language, expressions, tones, eye movements, tempo, accent, attitude, choice of words or metaphors, and other aspects of communication.

Use Mirroring TechniquesMirroring is common in conversation. The listeners will typically smile or frown along with the speaker. Since people usually accept their mirror image with ease, mirroring the person with whom one is speaking generally makes them feel more relaxed and encourages them to open up.

49. Remember NamesRepeat your listeners name/ nick name again and again: people love hearing their names.

In case you are communicating with someone for the first time here are ways to remember his name:

Remember Names

Understand the importance of using another person’s name: it’s a way of acknowledging and valuing them.Listen well to what the speaker’s name is. If you missed it ask him to repeat it again

Remember NamesTrust yourself and don’t spread the news that you’re not good at remembering names.Write it down; on your hand , on the mobile on a piece of tissue...whatever!

Remember NamesRepeat the person’s name again and again as you address him while talking.Associate the person’s name with the name of another person you know well.Study the person’s face well and mark something about him/her you can remember well.

"There is no sound so sweet as the sound of one's own name"

William ShakespeareGreat British Playwright

50. End on a Positive NoteIt’s long been known that “First Impressions last” but amazingly there’s a growing awareness that “Last Impressions last even more”. So no matter how the encounter started; you as a professional communicator need to land on a positive note.

50. End on a Positive NoteSay Thanks, for your communication partner’s attention, support and time.SmileShake hands or salute

50 Tips on Excellent Communication for Life

Presented By:

Tim Ervin, LCPC

References and Resourcesbbc.co.uk

Buinessballs.com

Cartoonstock.com

Dorazsays.wordpress.com

Ehow.com

Journeyanswers.com

Men come from Mars Women Come from Venus, John Gray

Readingbodylanguage.co.uk

Sfhelp.org

s.feedio.net

Utube.com

vi.sualize.us