SHOES Your donation to buy this spoof paper will help buy shoes and boots for hundreds of Lansing-area schoolchildren ... and that’s no joke! Thanks! SPEED READ Single-tire track plowing cuts costs EMSPOT officials report workers are saving lots of money on gas and overtime by manually making roads barely passable after storms (above) under the new winter road-nonclearing rules. Ready for the future: Schoolchildren practice their “drop, cover and hold on” technique, as they participate in mandatory state training for weathering the stock market. H ollywood filmmakers have started their rush to make Michi- gan movies. “In no way is this just a cheap attempt to get the 42-percent kickback,” a movie mogul said. “We’re genuinely interested in tell- ing Michigan stories.” Asked what they were, he hesitated for a moment. “You know — stories about snow and polar bears and things.” “And wolverines,” an assis- tant said. “And hardy, happy, autoworkers.” Some people have been skeptical; the first rush of proposed Michigan films seemed like blatant knock- offs, they said. That includ- ed “One Flew Over the Kirt- land Warbler’s Nest,” “Beau- ty and the Bear” and “You Can’t Take It With You, Eh?” One proposed movie in- explicably had Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet aboard the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald. Another — sup- posedly set in modern Michigan — was simply the Depression-era classic “The Grapes of Wrath,” only with ROBIN MINOR-SPORTS AND HUGE MICHAELS Lansing Spoof Journal It’s Movie Mania in Michigan! In theaters soon: SHIPS IN THE NIGHT starring Leo and Kate together again December 5, 2008 LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! Priceless SEE MOVIES I Page 3 Open for business: Michigan officials bought and refurbished a old decrepit sign from California to promote the state to movie producers.