Philander’s Most Splendiferous Source of News and Gossip. V ol. 2, Issue 2 September 16, 2009Helicopter Mom Crashes Into Middle Path By Skeeter Demiglace MIDDLE PATH — Helicopter Mom Sheryl Mirrin P’10, ’13 crashed onto Middle Path in close to her children, witnesses at the scene re- - more air than she could take in, that’s how loud - Tyler Chang, a junior psychology major, has - doing things that are com- pletely inappropriate, such as personally attending all - - - he has had in handling such disasters. “I watched Tyler’s - is usually an indication - - Kat that she was a slut and that John was totally way Kay. “John was totally em- “Besides her children’s knicks in the trees, there - INSIDE THIS ISSUE: NICK PETRICCA’S PARENTS VISIT FOR FAMILY WEEKEND STUDENT ON ADDERALL FINISHES READING DAYS IN HALFAN HOUR SUSHI WITH GUSTO REPLACED BY SUSHI WITH EUGENE 1 Helium Balloon Tale: Where’s Cedric? By Eegull Eggellstein and Beauregard UPDATE, 3:15 PMUPDATE, 3:45 PM- UPDATE, 3:47 PMshooting it down. UPDATE, 4:14 PMHall. Author ities on the scene now include rep- and the CIA. UPDATE, 4:20 PMUPDATE, 5:00 PMUPDATE, 5:27 PMUPDATE, 5:50 PM- Up!least 400 times. “I only got a chance t o see the staging an Up!- Mirrin crashes on Middle Path Toros Discovered In Atmosphere By Eegull Eggelstein department announced today that last week’s released a new particle into the atmosphere. - Department, the T oros particle can cause a sud- - as they get closer, they lose energy. This loss colder. In layman’s terms, the T oros particle is
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