Keeping up to speed with Social Media January 29 th 2015 A guide for busy parents who want to better support their children online. Presentation to Parent’s.

Keeping up to speed with Social Media

January 29th 2015

A guide for busy parents who want to better support their children online.

Presentation to Parent’s network at

Stephen Carrick-Davies• Ten years at Childnet International • Now an Independent Trainer/ Social

Entrepreneur /Parent/Learner .....

Introductions

Aim of this session: To educate and empower

you to have those conversations and be able to better support your children.

Close your eyes and try to remember when you were 8 years old and most happy.

Outside?

Without parental supervision?

GROUP EXERCISE

Involved in something risky?

For how many of you was this experience…

What’s changed ?

Outside?

Without parental supervision?

GROUP EXERCISE

Involved in something risky?

HOW DOES LIVING ONLINE FEEL FOR MANY YP ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QsWQtDHhBg&sns=tw

“Everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal.

Douglas AdamsHow to stop worrying and learn to love the internet 1999

Anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and with any luck you can make a career out of it.

Anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it…

…until it’s been around for about ten years ….when it gradually turns out to be alright really.”

Risk

Reputation

The 3 Rs of digital literacy

Responsibility

Our safety, conduct & risky behaviours

Our privacy, security settings and our peer group

Our leadership, ethical code and resilience

What is better a…. fence at the top of a

cliff …

..or an ambulance at the bottom ?

A FEW OF THE CHANGES

HOW WE ACCESS

WHO WE ACCESS WITH

HOW WE PERCEIVE THIS CONTENT

Portable

Personal

Private

THE FOCUS OF OUR VIEWING

Public

On a scale of 1- 10 rank yourself as to how confident you are using social media.

1 ----------------------5----------------------10“What’s a mouse?”

“I taught Mark

Zuckerbergall he knows”

WHAT MAKES THESE NEW TOOLS & PLATFORMS SPECIAL ?

“Express yourself …have fun…get personal… stay in charge…on the move ….”

$22 Billion ?

Snaps (photos/videos) are sent but disappear from recipients device

Random blogs your friends send you

Birds of a feather stick together

Why watch telly ? Someone else is bound to have made a presentation I can use ?

What will FIFA 25 allow you to do ?

Capture and Share the World's Moments

Looking for a job ?

ENGAGING WITH YOUR CHILDREN WHAT’S BRILLIANT

ABOUT IT ! Application HOW IT WORKS WHAT IS

PARTICULARLY RISKY ?

Lets look at a few of these new services in detail

This is the only way to start !

The biggest danger is that we focus only on the negative. These are amazing positive tools !

Focus on what could be risky for your child who you know better than anyone!

ENGAGING WITH YOUR CHILDREN WHAT’S BRILLIANT

ABOUT IT ! Application HOW IT WORKS WHAT IS

PARTICULARLY RISKY ?

Once you are informed, talk to your children in a non-judgemental way and gain understanding and build trust. .

Talk to your peers and find out how they best support their children’s use of social media

Sign up for some of the services and start exploring how they work and what’s great about these services

Research, research, research !

Do not demonise the technology, and suspend your prejudices !

Have fun ! http://mashable.com/2013/11/28/best-vine-videos-2013/

ACTUAL EXAMPLE OF MISUSE FROM A PRIMARY SCHOOL

Child discloses to teacher that she is upset because of conversation on Whats App

Teacher finally finds out that child was told on Whats App that their father has committed suicide after raping her mother.

Head Teacher investigates and views Whats App conversation on child’s phone.

The Whats App Chat involved a number of year 5 & 6 students and included video clips of hard core pornography.

Head Teacher calls in parents of the children for meeting

Parents shocked by the content but also their children’s vulnerability and exposure to content so young

Key issue Adding people to groups without their knowledge

What next ?

A word about games

• The ratings are there for a reason. • Anyone who sells a designated 12+ title to younger children will face fines of up to £5,000 /jail.

• Think about the ‘compulsion’ issues.

• Younger siblings and friends.

• Misogynistic messages and casual cruelty.

What’s brilliant about it ! Popular Games HOW IT WORKS What is particularly

Risky ?

From US Ad Council at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQBurXQOeQ

What is this world like for YP ?real

Cyberbullying vs. ‘Offline’ bullying?

OFFLINE ONLINE

Home is safe

Often Physical Usually words/pictures

Can be all the time

One or two people Many people involved

See the effect on the person Don’t see effect on the person(lack of empathy)

People watching intervene People watching take part

Often silent

22% of yp aged 11-18 report having been cyber bullied.

Can leave a trail (don’t delete evidence)

How does bullying feel for a child ?

GUILT They may feel it is

their fault

EXCLUDED The peer group is

everything! Especially online.

INTIMIDATED Of further

repercussions as bully may have threatened, “if

you tell...”ANXIOUS That their parents and teachers might blame

them for not standing up for themselves.

UNWORTHY They may think of

themselves as failures and not worthy of being

helped.

SCARED & AFRAID Of being physically or emotionally harmed and

that they might make it worse!

And other feelings too!

Praise your child for being brave

enough to talk about it.

Learn from the experience

“Teachable moment” to be more proactive next time.

Build resilience Try role playing exercises and positive strategies Coaching

Help them to see why it’s OK to disagree

Offer comfort and support, no matter how upset you are !

Review the peer group An older sibling or friend

might be able to give you some perspective and

provide more immediate monitoring/help.

Help them with clear advice e.g. make sure they

don’t retaliate, save the evidence.

Report it to school and follow

up/ monitor the change

What you can do to help a bullied childACTIO

N

POINTS

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

EMPATHY

“What is the ONE bit of advice you’d give ?”

www.thersa.org/events/rsashorts/the-power-of-empathy

THE IMPORTANCE OF SLEEP FIND IT HARD

TO SWITCH OFF

IGNORING OFFLINE

ACTIVITIES

EMPATHY EROSION

ARGUE ONLINE ?

FEEL TENSE IF YOU CAN’T GET ONLINE

RESPONSIBILITY TO YOURSELF

Screen 'addiction' is increasingly being used by physicians to describe the

growing number of children engaging in screen activities in a dependent manner,"

Psychologist Dr Aric Sigman BBC Oct 2012

FEELING DEPRESSED ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-19870199

1. Use the term “bullying” correctly / Recognise the seriousness2. Recognise the range of reasons why someone might be bullied. Be brave

to recognise any in built prejudice of any kind ! 3. Recognise that someone may be cyberbullied and may

under-report/disclose.4. Recognise that the online world provides an amazing community of

support and lots of good resources - use stories of those who have been affected by bullying as positive role models.

5. Talk to your children about how they build empathy and how the technology can erode empathy. Help to build resilience and learn from experiences including role-play and acting (assertiveness training)

6. Make sure your children know that they can always come to you to discuss

7. Tackle this POSITIVELY - children and young people feel passionately about this subject use this to help build character, including resilience

ACTION POINTS

WHAT IS GOING TO BE YOUR ONE PRIORITY ACTION ?

ACTION POINTS

Useful websitesChild Exploitation and Online Protection Centre www.ceop.gov.uk

Childnet Internationalwww.childnet.com/ including Cyberbullying film and guidance for teachers

3) Vodafone’s Digital Parenting magazine http://www.vodafone.com/content/parents.html includes brilliant magazine you can order for your school

THANK YOU !

www.carrick-davies.com

[email protected]

Complete Evaluation forms

ANY QUESTIONS ?

See my current work re social media and vulnerable yp on my website