The original text I chose was a photograph. The photograph is of my boyfriend and I. It is not a very good pictur e, but the point of the picture was it’s sentimental value. When someone looks at a photograph the emotional value can’t easy be explained by just looking at it. This is the main problem with the photo that was picked. When looking at a wedding or graduation pictures it’s easier to discover the value . Photos without a clear point, like mine, have to be explained. That is the biggest flaw with photographs in general. So, instead of choosing another photo, I chose to write a short story as my new text. The short story helps to explain the message I really want to get across . It is easier for people to connect with because most people can relate to storie s. Photographs aren’t as relatable because the people viewing them normally weren’t there when it happened . When people hear or read short stories, poems, etc. they can put themselves in the story. This way people can better understand what’s going on. It’s more difficult to place yourself in a picture . A story can have emotional value for everyone. Children and adults have favorite stories and books that are special to them. It’s more likely for people to share nostalgia for a story than a photograph. With this nostalgia in mind, writing a story about the memory the photo contains seemed like the best option. In the story, I explain a week before the picture was taken to set the background for the story. It begins with a search and setting up of the Christmas tree. I wanted to establish what how the relationship was between my boyfriend and I before I just jumped in to the actual scene from the picture. After the story’s set up, I get to when the picture was taken. We were downstairs opening gifts on Christmas morning and I felt the pictures were unnecessary, hence the lack of effort on my part to look decent in the photo. At the time, and for a while after, the photographs taken that morning seemed relatively unimportant. Well, the story skips to six months after Christmas. This was done so the importance of the photo could be made Comment [CE1]: MLA format Comment [CE2]: Describe what the picture looks like Comment [CE3]: Why do u think that? explain. Comment [CE4]: Its. . .not it’s. . .it’s=it is Comment [CE5]: easily Comment [CE6]: you make it sound like you didn’t pick the problem out Comment [CE7]: why and how? It makes it a fluff sentence if you do not explain Comment [CE8]: vague. . ity feels like a bunch of random sentences just thrown together if you touch on a point and then move to a new sentence Comment [CE9]: what do you see in your photo? What makes it special? You don’t make me want to continue reading because it seems like you think your picture sucks. Why would I care about something if you don’t? Make sure you do not completely pick apart your previous item down since your new genre is an extension of that. Comment [CE10]: remove Comment [CE11]: if you want to convey the point of your genre better I thik your short story should be more desciptive Comment [CE12]: true. . . so who is your audience you or everyone Comment [CE13]: this is a very good point. . . .elaborate they are not just not there they could also interpet it differently Comment [CE14]: it would be kind of awkward as well Comment [CE15]: reword. . .I had to read this sentence like 3 times before I understood it. Comment [CE16]: Comma usage makes this confusing Comment [CE17]: explain why it wasn’t important at the time Comment [CE18]: you need a better transition rom sentence to sentence you paper is very jumpy I d Comment [CE19R18]: o not know what but I feel like you are leaving important details out that could help your work be smoother