Just Out of My Reach

8/8/2019 Just Out of My Reach

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Chapter 1:

One more week. Thats all I had to wait. Thats all that

was left of my life. Ive been slowly leading up to this

decision. Slowly letting this sadness creep into my heart.

I watched, then, as my friends started leaving me. They

laughed together, about me, about my sudden outburst of

clarity. My sudden knowledge of my despair. I was going to

kill myself soon. And my friends decided to leave me,

thinking that this stage will pass me.

Stupid people.

I let my head fall into one of my small-fingered hands. I

could not wait to get back to my dorm room. My head ached

and I just wanted to be gone.

Uh, hi. I heard a deep voice, then a chair scratching

against the cafeterias floor. They room became silent. I

looked up to find the new boy. His parents had just moved

him here a couple weeks ago and he already had a bad

reputation. People started whispering.

Oh my goodness! Kyle REED just sat next to her! A voice

drifted to my ears. Of course, they were talking. The most


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popular, smartest girl in school is being visited by the new

bad boy.

Hi. I replied in my small voice. The voice that got me to

be school president. That voice had gotten me raped too.

I know you dont know me or anything, or at least you

dont remember me, but we used to be friends. And I think we

should talk. He looked straight into my eyes and I couldnt

blink. His light gray eyes felt like they were seeing right

through me. I felt like someone had just cut me open and was

examining me on a dissection tray.

Okay. It seemed forced. My voice came out softly, only as

loud as a breath. He smiled and stood. He reached a hand out

to me. It seemed such a normal gesture, but it was big one

for me. It took all the strength I had to grab that large

hand.

However, at that moment I knew, this boy was going to

change my whole life around and good or bad, I was

surprisingly happy about this fact.

I think at that moment, I was both scared and excited. My


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mind was reeling from his smooth hand over mine. My nostrils

were filled with his musky, sweet sent. I had never smelt

anything like that. It was the most amazing smell in this

world.

As he pulled me to a standing position in front of him, I

looked around. My friends were stopped in the middle of the

double doors, staring at us. Everywhere I looked, someone

was starring. EVERYONE was starring. This did not scare me,

as to I have been in the spotlight for ages. But the thing

that had scared me was the fact that Manny would not even

look at me. Her long blonde hair was tied tight on top of

her head. I could see her bright green eyes, the ones that

reminded me of our late mother, because she was starring

right at Kyle. Her eyes were angry. But the thing that I saw

was her sadness. Her outright despair swirling within those

striking eyes.

Are you going to come? His voice knocked me out of my

thoughts, out of my stare on my sister.

Yes. I answered back with a frown. He led me to the

backdoor we were hand in hand. I felt the need to blush, but


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I kept that hidden within my mind. That boy had done

something to me, I knew. He had messed with my heart in mere

seconds of meeting him. He was good.

As we exited the cafeteria, my mind started to drift,

pulling away from my body. I held on tight to my

consciousness. I didnt want to miss the conversation. I

needed to know who this boy was. I wanted to know if I had

had this type of reaction to him when I was his friend.

Just hold out a little longer. You can make it to the

library, right? He knew about my sickness. My depression

too?

I think so. I answered truthfully. I knew who he was now.

Kyle. The boy who had loved me with no expectations. He had

loved me with all of his worth and I had cheated on him.

He had been away on a trip to Italy. I was afraid he would

break up with me when he got back. Afraid he would be mad at

me for choosing to stay home our freshman end of the year

trip.

So I found the hottest guy at a party my friend took me to,

and had made out with him. Kyle got home and the stupid boy


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told him. The next day Kyle wouldnt talk to me. He wouldnt

talk to me any time after that. Then I had moved away. Never

getting to explain myself, this really, if you think about

it, wouldnt have helped anyways. Since then, I havent gone

out with anyone else. I was afraid that Kyle thought the

same thing I did. That we were still together. That if I

went out with someone else, it would be considered cheating.

Again.

I fell to the concrete. We were just at the library door

now, but I could not move. I heard the words that always

formed in my head. The whole Im so sorry. But I would not

let those words escape. That would be the wrong thing to

say, I knew.

Emily? His deep voice rang through my body. My heart

ached, but his probably ached more. Or maybe not anymore.

The second thought hurt more.

I didnt answer him. I couldnt. I felt myself falling

apart. Falling deeper into the land of no return.

Emily, answer me. His voice held worry within its deep

melody. His breath was warm on my ear, but I kept my face in


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my hands, kept me hair hiding my tears.

Damnit Emily, He pulled me up by my armpits and swung me

to face him. Now listen hear, you better answer me in ten

seconds, or I will make you. His voice was dangerous, but

soft and soothing at the same time. This was the voice Ive

longed for in the middle of the night. This was the voice I

wanted to hear, not the rough panting of Chris. Or the pain

he had created inside my innocent mind.

Im fine. I said. What a liar, I tell myself.

Then look at me. His voice was softer, angrier. I removed

my hands and looked up at him through my hair. He swept it

softly out of my face, his hand so careful, as if I might

break.

Why are you crying? He asked. I just shook my head and

wiped away the evidence. I did not want him to see me hurt.

I wanted to be strong for him, if not for me.

No reason. Lets go inside. I got inside and smelled the

air. The smell of a library was amazing. It could calm my

frayed nerves at anytime. I calmly walked to the back,

smiling at Mrs. Walsh as we passed. She of course smiled at


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me, but surprisingly smiled at Kyle too. As we got to the

back, Kyle grabbed my arm and turned me slowly.

Emily, you might not remember me well, or not at all. I

know all of this, but I wanted to see if you remembered me.

His bright gray eyes were so familiar now; I dont know how

I hadnt seen it earlier. Kyle shook his head, as if shaking

of his nervousness.

My name is Kyle Reed. I think you should at least know

that from the rumors, though. I know Ive changed so much

since the last time we met, but hopefully you remember the

boy I am, or used to be. He continued. But I let my fingers

float to his lips, silencing him. He stopped admittedly, but

kept his eyes on me. Waiting.

I, I paused. I couldnt say I was sorry. That wasnt what

he needed to hear. Remember you. I smiled sadly. His face

changed shape. It became sad at first, then blank. Totally

unreadable.

You remember me, It was more of a statement than a

question. I hadnt expected that. Most girls dont remember

their first boyfriend. And since it ended so differently


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than it started, I was sure you had forgotten. Sadly, I

had. I had buried it down so deep in the darkness of my mind

it came out now like an old movie. But that was from pain.

From so much hurt I couldnt even breathe while thinking of

it.

I, Then I faded out into myself.

When I woke up, I was in the nurses office. My head was

aching and my throat was dry.

Water. I croaked out. The nurse raced over to me. Her

kind face was exactly what I needed, not the jarring image

of Kyle, big boned boy sleeping in one of the foldable

chairs. His brown hair was spread softly over his cheek and

his jacket was covering half of his torso.

Hes been here all night. She replied to my stare. Kyle

just shifted in his seat, and then settled back in.

Such a sweet boy. I whispered and smiled. I hadnt really

listened much to the rumors, but Lisa, my best of friends

had. She had rambled off at lunch about how Kyle got

arrested last spring He has had sex with, like, ten girls


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here already He is a total freak, but a total hot one.

And so much more. I could tell how people thought that about

Kyle. His big frame threatened people. His cloudy eyes

seemed distant and his brown hair was shaggy. He usually

wore ripped jeans with a big hoodie, which consisted of

skulls and crossbones, to blood. He also always had his

headphones in. I mean always. I havent seen him without his

music with him since the first day I met him. The first day

my eyes had fallen on this boy who was alone in the

darkness, and I had wanted to jump in there with him.

The nurse handed me a cup of water, and I drank greedily

from it till it was all gone.

Since you finally woke, would you mind if I went back to

my own room? She whispered above Kyles small snores here

and there. I nodded with a little giggle.

You can wake him up and you two can go, if you are feeling

well enough. Okay Emily, dear? I nodded once more, and then

she was gone. Her heels clicked down the tile hallway.

Suddenly the room was silent. It scared me. Silence was

louder than sound.


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Silence let the memories of that night in.

Just shut up! The words echoed through my head. I will kill

you. Dont think I wont!

Stop it! I screamed. I could not see Chris anymore, but

the voice was haunting, crazed. He kept grabbing at me in

the dark. He connected his fist with my eye and I went down

to the ground with a sickening thud. My body hurt and as he

tore off my clothes, all I could do was scream my throat

dry.

Let me go! I yelled into the light, silent room. I looked

up and saw Kyle. He had a hand on each of my shoulders and

he was holding me down, fear and worry clear inside his

eyes.

Emily, My name floated of his lips, and I cried. Not just

the fake stuff you see on T.V. No, this was full on, body

rocking, coughing and sputtering, SOBS. I could not hold

back anymore; I had to let the pain out. From losing my

mother and unborn brother, to letting Kyle go, and most of

all, the pain of the rape. The pain of holding inside,

afraid of the threat he had made me.


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I will kill whoever you tell. He had held true to his

words. He had killed my mother. All though, they say it was

a total accident. It was because of drunk driving. Sure.

Emily, calm down. You are okay. I am here. He soothed my

wet face with his smooth thumbs. I hiccupped and stopped

crying.

Good girl. he was holding me close. Our lips were merely

inches apart. I could feel me drifting closer, and he

drifted too. Soon our lips brushed each others and it was

all over. His lips calmed me, made my mind go blank, made me

want to lose everything for and with him. I wanted him. I

knew that, for once, I knew what I wanted. And what I wanted

was so out of my reach it wasnt even funny.

I snapped back, hitting my head on the bed frame. This

could not be happening. This was horrible. I squeezed my

eyes shut.

I wont hurt you. He whispered for my ears alone.

I will. I said back with all my pain and anger.

Everything I had, I put into those two simple words that

meant so much to both of us. That meant too much to me, that


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I barely made them leave my chapped lips. I wanted Kyle more

than anything in this entire world. But I couldnt have him

even if I wanted to. He was out of my reach.

Chapter 2:

As I walked down the stairs to my room, I replayed the last

five minutes of my life. I saw Kyle, his eyes wide with

anger and surprise. He had jerked his huge body off the bed

with such grace it seemed choreographed. His eyes were

spitting fire, but more for himself than me.

Bye. His voice was snipped, but he didnt leave. He just

stood there. I looked down to see what he was staring at and

saw the scar. It was long and thin, curving around my neck

and downwards. He could not see the end of it, but it

crossed through both of my breasts, down to my bellybutton,

and then it ends with a small shape. A shape of a bleeding

heart.

What the hell, He walked back over but I snapped at him

with Nothing!


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The small word was silent, but it seemed to echo through

the large room. He had abruptly turned around and walked

out. His body language said it all. He would not be visiting

me anymore.

Now, I reached into my pocket and took out my key. I

carefully unlocked the door, and pushed it open slowly. I

could feel something wrong. I could just feel it.

I smelt it before I saw anything. It was a hideous odor.

Something was dead and as I switched the light switch to

on, I saw exactly what it was. It was a she. Her long neck

was snapped back. Her brown hair sprinkled the floor. There

was a big gash in her neck, and blood covered my white

carpet. My stomach cramped as I saw what she was wearing.

She had the same brown eyes as me. She had the same blue

top in as me, but her shorts were pink, not purple. Someone

had killed her thinking it was me.

I threw up.

I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. I found which

one was Kyles, and tried to turn the knob. Surprisingly it


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came open with a BANG. I saw his roommate Nelly, the only

emoish punkish guy in this school. He turned to look at me,

and he saw the blood.

What the hell? He asked with a southern accent. Kyle!

He yelled is voice panicky. Kyle walked out of the hallway

wearing some sweatpants and no top. Any other time I would

have taken the time to appreciate his chest, but this was

NOT the time.

Emily, are you hurt? Was his first question as he ran to

me, already checking my body for injury.

N-no-o. I stuttered and shook. I couldnt stop shaking.

Kyle led me to his couch and set me down.

Tell me what happened. Everything will be okay. He held

my small hands in his large ones.

No. It wont be okay. She is dead, Kyle. I walk into my

room, and shes laying there. Her neck bent back, almost

elegantly, taunting me. Her brown eyes were open, fear shown

on her face. Shes wearing the same outfit as me and she

was in my room. She DIED because of me! My whisper grew to

a shout. Kyle was gesturing to Nelly, yelling at him to call


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the on-campus police, and then they will call the real ones.

Kyle helped me up and asked me to show him my room.

I cant go in there again! You cant make me! I fought

him. He grabbed my hands and set them on his chest.

Shhh, I will be the one going in. Dont worry. He had

whispered to me. Everything else went by so fast. I led Kyle

to my room and he promptly came straight out. His face was

white, but he did not throw up like I did.

That was your throw up, right? He asked calmer than I had

been. I nodded as I heard the on-campus police coming. They

cant save her. Shes dead, was the only thought running

through my head. She is DEAD. I burst out in sobs for the

second time that night, not counting the time at the

library.

Kyle just held me there. He held me tight to his warm, bare

chest. His strong arms wrapped around me comfortingly. I

missed this about him. But I still didnt deserve his love.

I closed my eyes and clung to him.

I was so afraid.


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My body was splayed out on Kyle and Nellys couch. My mind

was racing, faster and faster thru the endless

possibilities. Chris? Had he actually tried to kill me? Or

was it someone else, someone who hated me.

Hey, Kyle walked out of his room, looking at me with a

sleepy expression. I forced myself to smile back. Hey, I

copied his natural flow of things, which only seemed right.

You need to get some sleep. Youve been up for too long.

He ruffled my brown hair and smiled down at me as if we were

still best of friends.

So much had changed; we both had separated, drifted apart

within the two years.

Im fine, He raised an eyebrow, Really. It sounded fake

to even my ears. Instead of insisting I answer him

truthfully, he just picked up my legs, sat down, and then

put my legs back down, onto his thighs.

Hey! I said in surprise. He just chuckled, the sound

making my heart swell for my lost love.

Your smile is cute. His eyes were serious, but he had his

crooked half smile placed across his face.


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I blushed deeply. No. Its imperfect. My teeth are all

jacked up. My bottom lip is too thick and my top lip is,

Kyle laughed loudly, interrupting my sentence.

Jeese Emily cant you just shut up and say thank you? His

familiar eyes twinkled with humor, and as I blushed deeper,

love. I didnt want to believe it. It past so fast, I almost

didnt, but then he kissed me. And it only lasted seconds. I

wanted more as I pulled him closer to me, on top of me.

Emily, He warned. I didnt care.

Kyle, I copied him. He shook away a smile, and glared

down at me.

Im serious here. He replied with anger in his voice.

And so am I. I pulled his lips down to mine. I couldnt

help it. I loved him so much. And he loved me back. I knew

it couldnt last forever. I didnt have forever. I had a

week. Yet, I was so afraid of Chris, or the actual thought

of dying. Why couldnt I just give it up? My whole life was

revolved around lies. Im fine. I told everyone, never

once mentioning that I got raped. I knew the consequences to

that. Death was all that would bring. Somehow, Chris would


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find out. I just knew it.

As Kyle pulled away, someone knocked on the door. He slowly

got up to answer it, or what seemed like it. Everything was

going in slow motion. I could feel my lips moving, telling

him something didnt feel right. He brushed it off and

opened the door. There stood Chris, smiling like a welcomed

neighbor.

Is Emily here? His lips formed the words, but I could not

hear them. I was in shock. I was horrified, terrified. My

heart beat so fast I thought it might explode.

Emily, Kyle called, looking straight at my unwavering

eyes. He saw it too. He saw the fear in my eyes.

Shes really tired, how bout you come by tomorrow? He

turned back to Chris, his eyes totally blank.

Sure. Chriss voice was blank. They just stood there,

starring.

Good night, Emily. Chris called out and left. Kyle shut

and locked the door.

Who was he, and why does he scare you so much? This was

why I couldnt be with him. I did not want to ever lie to


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him again.

I, I paused. What could I say that wouldnt be lying?

Cant talk about it. I finished. He just stared at me. He

wanted to probe, but he knew me too well. Knew it would only

make me recede farther into my shell.

Okay. Was all he said. He just stood there, and I sat. We

couldnt take our eyes off each other. We both needed each

other, but I could not have him. He dissevered better. He

dissevered a life. A beautiful girl who would treat him

right, who knew him almost like he knew me. I smiled sadly

at him, Goodnight. Escaped my small lips. He nodded and

walked off. The lights went off and I laid right back down,

as if nothing had happened, as if he hadnt come out at all.

I walked down the road, freezing in the cold air of the

night.

Hey! I heard a yell. I turned around to find a car in

idle behind me. Do you need a ride, I could give you one.

I nodded, Okay, The passenger door swung open and I got

in.


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Youre Chris, right? I asked him.

He nodded and smiled. Yeah, I am. Emily, right? He looked

at me; my name came off his lips with affection. That

troubled me. He had asked me out before, but I always turned

him down, always saying I had plans and a boyfriend.

We drove on in silence, heading the wrong way. Ah, my

house is that way. I pointed behind us. He shrugged. My

mind started to go through scenarios.

Maybe, I started. He just glared, shutting me up before I

really even started.

We are going to my house, okay? I stared at him. Was he

going to hurt me? I wondered minutes later. We turned on a

dirt road, headed up to the old Johnsons home.

Where are you taking me? Nobody lives up here! My voice

was shaky and it squeaked at the end.

Dont worry babe. We will be there soon. He replied. He

was absolutely nuts! We pulled into the long driveway. I

threw open my door and jumped out.

My feet hit the ground hard and the loud sound echoed

through the darkness of the night. I started running. Thump.


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Thumb. Thumb. My feet pounded on the ground, each step

making a distinct noise.

Get over here! Chris yelled, pulling my arm. I lost my

footing and I hit the ground. Hard. Dont be afraid. His

voice was cold. My heart beat faster.

Let me go! I screamed as I got back up and ran a little

more. It was pitch black and I screamed for help. For

anyone.

Just shut up!

I awoke screaming, Kyle was there, trying to calm me.

Emily, its okay. He whispered. Slowly I came back to

reality.

I sat up shaking my head, as if shaking away my dream. My

memory.

Im fine. I told him, wanting it to be true.

Okay. He knew I was lying, but didnt say anything about

it. I smelled food, bacon and, another sniff, pancakes.

Do I smell bacon? I asked in surprise. Bacon was my

favorite food.

Yeah. Do you want any? He got up before I answered,


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knowing it would be a definite yes.

Sure. He pulled me up. I smiled. He seemed over whatever

had gone on in the nurses office and last night, which

should be a good thing, but my heart ached anyways.

As we walked into the kitchen, I looked down at Nelly. His

hair was wet and dripping onto the table. He was

concentrating on a drawing. Carefully sketching each line.

Each small detail, he captured. The picture was of me. Of

course, not of me now. It was when I had been with Kyle. My

brown hair was such a contrast to my new honey blonde locks;

it was like looking at another girl. Someone I didnt really

know, with chubby, smiling cheeks, bright sparkling blue

eyes, and glasses too big for her small shaped face. She

looked happy, which was a foreign concept to me now. I had

been innocent then. I closed my eyes in pain. If only.

Whered you get that picture? I asked calmly. My eyes

traveled along the drawing, looking for some hint of me in

it. I found none.

Kyle said I could use any of his pictures that he already

entered into the art festival for inspiration. I used this


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one. Nelly answered my question with a raised eyebrow.

She very pretty. My voice was soft. He smiled and nodded.

Shes a natural beauty. Never seen anyone like her.

Yeah. Me neither. I heard Kyles voice as if I was in a

tunnel. I was reliving that moment. That beautiful day.

Kyle! Kyle! Did you see that! That was a sign of good

fortune!

What? I didnt see anything. Kyle scrunched his eyebrows

and looked around. I smiled up at him.

Stop playing around! Three ladybugs landed on me! THREE!

Thats so awesome! I yelled as I jumped around in front of

Kyle. He just chuckled.

Today, he was wearing a blue striped shirt with his

customary Tripp pants. His hair was ruffled from us

playing, and his face was bright.

You look good today. Happy. I told him as he grabbed my

hand again, leading me to the swings. Most people thought we

were going out, I sometimes wish they were right. But I was

fine where I was.

Well, thank you. Thats good, right? He teased. I stuck


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my tongue out at him. He smiled.

We sat on the swings and began swinging. He took out his

camera and was messing with it.

Hey, Emily He looked over at me with a serious

expression.

I stopped swinging. What? I was concerned. Suddenly he

made a funny face. I laughed and smiled. His hands came up

lightening fast and the camera flashed before my eyes.

Hey! I yelled, but he had already put the camera down and

grabbed my shirt. He pulled me close and kissed me hard.

Kyle? I murmured as he let go.

Will you go out with me? He asked. I numbly nodded. I was

too happy to move. A smile slowly crept upon my lips.

That day had been perfect. We had been so happy. I looked

back at Kyle and saw a faint smile there. As if he might

just be remembering too.

Breakfast? HE asked. I nodded. WE would never be the same

again. We would never be able to go back to that day, or

before that. We both have changed and that concept hurt more

than the memories.


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Chapter 3:

I peered down the hall, staring at my dorm door. Yellow

Caution tape was still hanging limply across it, drawing

in eyes of passer-byers. They whispered, their voices just

murmurs of the wind, just sounds that faded into

nothingness.

The police had called Kyle after breakfast, relaying a

message about how I could get some stuff they had already

cleared as of no use. They put it all in a box by the door.

And as I stood there, staring at that very box, I could not


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move any further towards it.

Is that Emily? She looks horrid. My head swiveled towards

the voice. There stood my sister and a smaller girl with

strawberry blonde hair. My sister adverted her eyes and I

wondered for the umpteenth time, what was she thinking?

Manny, I stopped her. Tension filled the hall. She looked

at me with a blank face.

Emily, I cant talk with you right now, or ever. Her lips

curled in a snarl. Why was she so angry with me?

Why not? I insisted as her friend squealed with delight.

You know Emily! Oh my goodness! That is so totally cool!

We both ignored the girl, off in our own little world of

pain, anger and despair.

I dont have time for you. Manny brushed her hair out of

her face and I finally could see our mother in her.

Well, I replied somberly, we need to talk.

About what?! She snapped at me, Not mom! No. You wont

even talk about her death. You act as if she was never even

alive! She stomped right up to me.

I cant, I just cant yet. I whispered to my little


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sister. My heart ached, for me, for her, for the loss of our

entire family and her lost childhood.

No. You can. I know it. You just choose not to. Goodbye

Emily. And then she left, the girl trailing behind like a

confused puppy.

Sighing, I took a few more steps toward the door. Five more

steps and I could reach it. Five more steps and I could grab

the box and leave that hall that held sadness.

The closer I got, the more I thought of the girl who had

died. She had died right there, in my room. On my floor.

Because of me, she had lost her life, lost everything. Her

family had lost her.

Her name was Jennie. I heard a voice behind me say. I

turned around. Nelly looked at me with cold eyes, so

different from breakfast.

Jennie, I repeated the word, as if it was a foreign

concept, some foreign word.

Yes. Jennie Alt. He looked passed me, probably at my

door.

You, uh, knew her? My voice cracked. The poor girl. This


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poor soul.

Yeah. Yeah, I did. I also loved her. The sadness in his

eyes mirrored my own, from the loss of our loved ones.

Im sorry she died. I gave him a hopeful look. He must

have still been used to the pity that oozed off of the

people around us, people who havent lost a love one, an

accentual part of their life, because his eyes filled with

happy tears.

Yeah me too. He smiled a little. I walked up to him and

hugged him tight enough for him to laugh a little.

Dont worry, just remember the good times. Remember and

rejoice over the time that she was next to you. It might not

help you right away and it might take you a while, but

youll see what I mean. I whispered into his ear. I felt

him nod. I let go and smiled up at him.

Have a good day. I murmured as I turned around to face my

own fate.

Yeah, you too. I listened as he walked away from me. His

footsteps leading the way out to the Light, while mine led

me deeper into the Dark.


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My hands trembled. I franticly brushed hair out of my eyes

and ran. My footfall made a thumb. Thumb. Thumb, pattern

into the dark hallway. For a moment, I didnt hear the tell

tale footsteps of my pursuer. Only my loud clicks sounded in

the air. But softly, almost as light as the air moving, you

could hear the sound of boots thudding against the tile.

Faster and faster as they got closer towards me. I heard a

yell, of either triumph or anger, I will never know, but

when I turned around, I saw nothing. The silence filled my

head, filled my cold heart.

And as I contemplated the thought of death once more, I saw

the picture of the old me, the memories faded from my mind

and all there was left to ponder over was whether or not he

would miss me. And as the cold set into my bones, I became

aware of the shadow lurking at the end of the hall. Waiting,

watching, wanting. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing

came out. I was frozen. I knew that this time hed kill me,

or I would kill myself. My eye lids felt heavy, so I let

them drift shut. Two days ago, I would have killed myself. I


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made it out of that week, but now, I was afraid I wouldnt

make any it further.

Emily, The whispery tone hid his voice, hid his identity.

Leave me alone! I finally managed to yell.

Emily, Was all he repeated. I was terrified. I held my

breath, and woke up.

Springing awake, I wiped the sweat off my face. Staring out

Kyles dorms window, my mind went blank. Everything was

happening to fast. They had found another girl dead, she

also looked just like me, dressed like me. Kyle assured me

it wasnt because of me, but I knew. You cant just cover

that up with some sweet story. I looked up at the clock,

one-o-clock in the morning. Too earlier to wake up, too late

to go to sleep. My insomnia was horrible tonight and as I

sat there reflecting on my life, I felt eyes on me. Spinning

around on my heels, I see Kyles outline in front of me, no

shirt, as usual, and his bulging biceps crossed over his

chest.

Hey, you okay? He asked, unfolding his perfectly

sculptured arms.


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Fine. I turned back to the window. We decided against

talking about the past, or what withheld the future. We

barely talked. Just stood there and stared, either at each

other, or the sky.

Bad dream? He questioned. Small talk.

Yeah. Again. And then it was silent. I hated the silence.

Come with me. He pulled me by the arm out of the door,

through the halls and towards the entrance of the building.

He yanked the big double-doors open and the freezing air

swooped in. I shivered out of chill, and wished Kyle talked

more, said something about anything.

We walked across campus me shivering and following him with

no questions. I trusted him completely. Kyle I started to

ask him where we were going, but he suddenly stopped. I ran

right into him and almost fell on my butt. He caught my arms

and pulled me tight to him. Ours lips brushed and little

fires started where we were touching. Kyle I tried again

but he captured my mouth instead. The moon was shinning

bright upon us like a sun.

Emily. My name on his lips was what broke my control. My


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fingers entangled in his hair and I let my body go. Let my

heart be free.

We stood there in the middle of the garden area and kissed.

We were pressed so tight together I felt over heated. His

cold hands slipped up the back of my shirt and I gasped.

Kyle, we shouldnt. I whispered. He just bit my lip and

kept kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Like this was

our only chance, and it was. His hands slipped up and down

my back rhythmically. They slipped down and grabbed my ass.

I jumped up as he pushed and wrapped my legs around his

waist.

Wereallycant. I gasped between kisses. He ignored me.

I held on as he backed me up into the stone wall of the

academy.

Emily! Kyle! The words echoed through my head and I

dropped. My head hit hard against the wall and I bruised my

butt on the way down.

Manny, I looked at her with surprised eyes. Manny saw

that. She sawme act like a whore. This was bad. This was

really, really bad.


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What the hell Emily? You bitch! Her scream sliced through

the night air and I flinched. She pushed the shocked Kyle

out of the way and picked me up by the hair.

Ow! I yelled and she kicked me in the gut. Arg. I

groaned. I grabbed her legs and we both crumbled to the

ground. Her hold on my hair loosened and I sat on top of

her. I was breathing hard, either from wrestling or kissing,

or maybe both.

Whatareyousomadabout? I gasped out between breaths.

She glared at me, squirming underneath my weight.

Youre playing him. Just like all those other boys. Just

like everybody! They believe youre good! Youre not! Youre

a slut! Youre the reason moms dead! She screamed at me. I

was frozen as she pushed me off her and slapped me. She ran

away crying. I just sat there. Kyle tried to get me to talk,

to look at him. I blinked and everything went blurry. I

tried to stand, but fell again. What was going on? The

disease, I told myself. It was getting worse. I felt sick. I

threw up my dinner, or the little I had eaten. I couldnt

stand. I fell backwards and passed out from the pain.

Just Out of My Reach

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