June 2013 Newsletter

I N S I D E T H I S

I S S U E :

Peaceful NotesPeaceful Notes J U N E 2 0 1 3

S H E L T E R H O M E O F C A L D W E L L C O U N T Y , I N C .

P O B O X 4 2 6 • L E N O I R , N C 2 8 6 4 5

Board of

Directors

Nancy Martin

Chair

Brent Phelps

Vice-Chair

Chris Cole

Secretary

Betsy Wilson

Treasurer

Jennifer Bowman

Kim Britt

Angie Clark

Greg Cornett

Anita Dula

Debbie Eller

Ruth Kincaid

Terri Neiderhammer

Morris Reaves

Rose Reighard

Trena Riddle

Dr. Jane Roberts

Deborah Teeters

Shelter Home

Phone Numbers:

Lenoir (828) 758-0888

Taylorsville (828) 635-

8055

Crisis Lines:

(828) 758-7088

(828) 635-8851

24 hours a day

Leaving is not easy. On

average, it takes a victim

seven times to leave be-

fore staying away for

good. Exiting the rela-

tionship is the most un-

safe time for a victim. As

the abuser senses that

they’re losing power, they

will often act in danger-

ous ways to regain con-

trol over their victim. We

know victim’s frustra-

tions with feeling like the

abuse is somehow their

fault. If only they’d

leave, right? Wrong. We

know better. In fact,

we’re taking a closer look

at 50 reasons why it may

be near impossible to

leave.

In her book “Fifty Obsta-

cles to Leaving, a.k.a.,

Why Abuse Victims

Stay” Sarah M. Buel

shares 50 different rea-

sons that she has encoun-

tered throughout her 22

years of work in the do-

mestic violence field that

victims share for Why

they did not leave until….

We will be sharing these

with our Newsletter read-

ers in the next four edi-

tions of Peaceful Notes.

WHY? Because, as advo-

cates, this is the single

MOST asked question

that we all hear. It is im-

portant that people know

it is not as simple as it

may appear to someone on

the outside looking in.

Obstacles 1-10:

1. Advocate: The victim

doesn’t have an enthusiastic

supporter on their side so they

may feel discouraged or hope-

less.

2. Batterer: The batterer is

wealthy, famous, powerful in

the community, etc., and can

afford to hire private counsel

and pressure decision-makers.

3. Believes Threats: The

victim believes the batterer’s

threats to kill them and the

children if they attempt to

leave.

4. Children’s Best Interest: The victim believes it is in the

children’s best interest to

have both parents in the

home, especially if the abuser

doesn’t physically abuse the

children.

5. Children’s Pressure: The

chi ldren put pressure

(independently or by the

abuser’s influence) on the

abused parent to stay with

their partner.

6. Culture and Race: Be-

cause of differences in race or

culture, the victim worries

about being treated unequally

by the justice system if they

come forward, or believes

stereotypes about acceptable

actions in their own culture.

7. Denial: The victim is in

denial about the danger, in-

stead believing that if they

could be better partners, the

abuse would stop.

8. Disabled: Victims who are

disabled or physically chal-

lenged face obstacles in gain-

ing access to court and social

services, and may be isolated

from basic info about re-

sources.

9. Elderly: Elderly victims

may hold traditional beliefs

about marriage and believe

they must stay, or are depend-

ent on the batterer for care

even in the face of physical

abuse.

10. Excuses: The victim be-

lieves the abuser’s excuses to

justify the violence, blaming

job stress or substance abuse

for example.

(This is the first 10 of 50 rea-

sons from Sarah Buel’s 50

Obstacles to Leaving.

National Domestic

Violence Hotline

1-800-799-7233

1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Why Don’t They

Leave? 1

How Can I Help? 2

Shelter Wish List 2

The Fisherman’s

Garden 3

Seeds of Hope 3

Donors List 4

Renovation Project 5

Volunteers in Action 5

Why Don’t They Leave? Why Don’t They Leave?

P A G E 2

P E A C E F U L N O T E S

I pledge to give:_____ $5,000 _____$2,500 _____ $1,000 _____$500 _____$100 or Other $_______

My pledge is _____ a one time donation _____ Monthly _______Quarterly ______ Annual pledge of support for this Mission.

Pledge CardPledge Card

Name: __________________________________

Address: __________________________________

Phone: __________________________________

E-mail: __________________________________

Proud to be sponsored by the United Way of Caldwell County and United Way of and Alexander County

I have enclosed my donation of $__________

Shelter Home of Caldwell

County

P.O. Box 426

Lenoir, NC 28645

Pledge is designated for: Shelter Operations____ Capital Project_____

This pledge is in honor of :_______________________________

Mail notification to:_____________________________________

_____________________________________

The Shelter Home of Caldwell County, Inc. is a 501(c)3 private non-profit since 1978

Shelter Home Wish List

Household Items

Paper Towels

Toilet Paper

Paper Plates

Kleenex

Laundry Baskets

Dryer Sheets

Laundry Detergent

Cleaning products

Trash Bags

Shower Gel

Soft Soap

Towels

Wash Clothes

Food CANNED FOOD

Pasta

Coffee

Creamer

Sugar

Diapers Size 3, 4 and 5

New bed pillows

Twin sheet sets

Shaving Cream

Razors

Deodorant

Personal Items

New Bras

Bedroom Slippers

Pajamas for Ladies

and Children’s PJs

Socks

Miscellaneous Items

Alarm Clocks

Small Kitchen

Appliances

Gift Cards: Gasoline,

Wal-Mart, Grocery Storesf

of our clients, we

On behalf of our clients, we

accept gently used clothing,

furniture, dishes and appli-

ances. Our greatest wish for

the Wish List is donated time

from volunteers. If you are

interested in becoming a part

of the mission and work that is

the Shelter Home of Caldwell

County, contact the Commu-

nity Outreach Coordinator at

(828) 758-0888.

How can I help?

Have you ever wondered “ What can I do to help?’ There

are many ways you can help the Shelter Home Of Caldwell

County. Below is a Wish List of items needed at the Shelter

on a daily basis. You will find a pledge card if you wish to

make a one time gift or give monthly. You may also go to

www.shelterhomecc.org and donate through Paypal. How-

ever you choose to donate, your help is appreciated by the

victims served at the Shelter Home. You can also Volunteer

your time. The Shelter is in current need of Child care provid-

ers several hours a week and Receptionist / Crisis Call takers.

You can find the volunteer opportunities listed on the Shelter

webpage. Download the application to volunteer today. If you

have questions, please call 828-758-0888.

P A G E 3

A very special Thank You

to the youth and adults

from St. Paul Christian

Church in Raleigh for

their mission work at the

Shelter Home .

Give a man a fish; he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish; he will eat for life."

Thank You to the “Seeds of Hope 2013” Sponsors

The Fisherman's Garden

Mid-May John Elian of the Fisherman's Garden came by the Shelter and spoke with Executive Director, Sharon Poarch about starting a raised bed vegetable garden on the Shelter Home’s adja-cent lot. Fisherman’s Gar-den is a project of the Unitarian Universalists of Caldwell County. The Fisherman’s Garden has started two raised beds

at the Shelter. The pur-pose of these beds are to teach clients and their children how to raise and maintain a garden; as well as, having a fresh produce source for the shelter. John and volun-teers have visited several times to nurture the gar-den. Staff members and clients have been assist-ing in watering and

weeding the garden—and harvesting our first vegetables of the year.

All-American Jersey

Rococo Rionel

The Rusty Rooster

Kimbrell’s

Greene’s Furniture

Cedar Rock Home Furnishings

River Valley Pets

Yesteryear’s Antiques and

Collectibles

Treasures Gifts

Studio 131

Garon’s Jewelry

Sherrill’s Jewelry

The Gold Mine

Mine by Design Studio

Granite Hardware LLC

Antiques and More

Cottage 321

Granite Drug Center

American Trade and Loan

Delicate Touch Florist

Holiday Pools & The Fireside

Shop

Venti’s Casa

All God’s Creatures

Hickory Crawdad’s Baseball

Bo’s of Lenoir

Catawba Science Center

Suzanne’s Flowers & Gifts

O! My Soap!

Lake Hickory Veterinary Hos-

pital

Goody’s in Taylorsville

Nature’s Edge in

Flowers for Less

Martin and Company

Trilla S. Annas

Communities in

Schools

Compensatory

Education Class

Curves Complete

Turning Heads Hair Salon &

Tanning

Riviera Tan

Baton Tire and Auto

Bolick’s Discount Tire

White Tire Center

Appalachian Tire and Auto

Ty Watts, Lenoir Golf Club

Bumgarner Camping Center

Not-Just-Fishin

Guns Too

Cajah’s Mtn. Discount Drug

Sawmills Hardware and Sup-

ply

Sherwin-Williams

The Salon at Park Square

Alray Tire Center

O’Reilly Auto Parts

Top Choice Grooming Salon

Club Canine

P E A C E F U L N O T E S

Staff and Clients would like to say “Thank You” to the very generous donors listed below.

Without your support we could not continue to serve victims of Domestic Violence.

We are grateful for your monetary donations this quarter in 2013

Unifour Community Foun-dation United Way of Alexander County United Way Of Caldwell County Valeria & Dale Andrews Valerie & Peter Purcell MD Wanda Prince Warren West Winnefred I. Harding Yadkin Valley Baptist Church Z.Smith Reynolds Founda-tion Inc

Donations were made to the Shelter Home this quarter in Honor Of: Jane Carswell Roberts by Bobbie and Harry Curtis

Donations were made to the Shelter Home this quarter in Memory Of: Arthur Carswell by Bobbie and Harry Curtis Judy Carswell Avent and Arthur Carswell by Drs. Debra and Dennie Templeton Judy Carswell Avent by Jane Carswell Roberts

The Shelter Home is now serving victims of Domestic

Violence and Sexual Assault in Caldwell and Alexander

Counties.

P A G E 4

Allison & Brent Jensen

Allison & Donald Stewart

Altrusa Club of Caldwell County

Alvin Daughtridge

Ann Hancock

Ann Miller

Annette Beam

Baker Tire Center, Inc

Barbara F Freiman

Barbara Hartley

Basil & Linda Roberts

Becky & Herb Stevens

Betsy M Herron

Betty & Eugene Purcell Jr

Betty Early

Bobbie & Harry Curtis

Caron & James Wike

Cedar Rock Baptist Church

Chili & Company

Christopher Cole

College Avenue Baptist Church

Confidence Advent Christian

Connie & Martin Vermillion

Dawn Carroll

Deborah Ashley Smith

Debra L Eller

Debra Philyaw

Diane Carpenter

Diane Jensen

Donna & James Bradshaw

Donna Whitson

Dr & Mrs. Robert S. Belk

Dr Annie K Prestwood

Drs Debra & Dennie Templeton

Elaine Bush

Elizabeth & Wayne Keller

Elizabeth (Betsy) Wilson

Elizabeth (Lily) Bunch

Emergency Solutions Program

Ervil Anderson

Evelyn Beam

Fellowship Baptist Church Inc

First Prebyterian Church of Lenoir

Flemings Chapel Baptist Church

Frances Scheil

Gail & Richard Greer

Galye & Samuel Trivette

Governors Crime Commission

Grey Scheer

Gwendolyn Elaine Phillips

Hattie Steele Missionary Circle

Heidi E Downs

Hudson United Methoist Women

Ingunn & Gerald Griffin

Jamie Jennings

Jan C Nash

Jan Pennell

Jane Carswell Roberts MD

Janet & James Spoon Jr

Janet Wilson

Janine & Matthew Hannibal

Janna Stefanek

Jeanne & Sandy Winkler

Jeannie M Corriher

Jeff & Rita Joines

Jennie Deal

Jessie Roper

Joan Snyder

Johnna W Coffey

Joyce & Barry Edwards

Judith E Barlow

Julie Miller Gootman

Kathryn R Jackson

Kathy McAteer

Kim Watson

Kimberly B Britt

Lavina Smith

Lee Carol & Bob Giduz

Lee Cox

Lenoir Service League

Lida Martinat

Lily Moody

Linda Campbell

Magda Colton

Marjorie O Strawn

Mary & Osborne MacGuire

Mary Gail & Allen Stewart

Megan Roberts

Melissa & Scott Jett

Mr & Mrs Oscar Dobereiner

Mr & Mrs Wilbern Brown (Willie)

Nancy T Martin

NC Council for Women

Norma Suddreth

Options, Inc.

Pamela Thomas

Patricia E Barry

Patricia Gale Pennington

Poovey's Chapel Baptist Church

Reliable Insurance Agency, Inc.

Rev Parker & Patricia William-son

Reva M Pennell

Richard & Dorothy Hedrick

Robin & Greg Cornett

Rose Reighard

Ruth L Kincaid

Sharon Porach

Sheila Miller

Shirley Gray

Steffanie M Jimenez

Susan & Bob Powers

TelecomPioneers

Teresa Almquist

Terri S Niederhammer

The Jonas Foundation

Town of Gamewell

Trilla Annas

UMW Gamewell

http://shelterhomecc.org

Renovation and Expansion

P A G E 5 V O L U M E 1 , I S S U E 1

The Renovation and

Expansion project is

nearly complete. In

mid April, clients

moved into the new

bedrooms while reno-

vation began on the

existing Shelter. Many

of the Bedrooms have

been “adopted” by

sponsors, and will have

new furniture arriving.

Before the renovation,

clients shared one

washer and dryer. Now

they have 3 sets to use

which makes daily life

much simpler. Could

you imagine sharing

your washer and dryer

with 20 other people?

Last year the shelter

served almost 400 women

and children. We were at

or over capacity and full

79 times in 2012 when vic-

tims needed shelter, and

we had to help locate shel-

ter in other areas for them.

Sometimes the shelter

overflowed its capacity

and the toy room was used

for overflow. Now, with a

total of 15 bedrooms and

capacity for 40 people, the

Shelter Home will be able

to better meet the de-

mands for emergency

shelter for victims in both

Caldwell and Alexander

counties.

Without the support of the

community, this very nec-

essary but very ambitious

project would not have

been possible. This

Renovation has been a

“Journey of Re-

newal” for our mission

of service to the victims

of domestic violence and

sexual violence in our

community.

Clients are enjoying

newly constructed bed-

rooms, and more spa-

cious and comfortable

Community Living

areas .

The past few months have been very

busy at the Shelter Home of Cald-

well County. Employees and clients

moved out of the existing part of the

shelter into the newly built edition.

Ten volunteers assisted in the move .

The Shelter also hosted “ Seeds of

Hope” at 1841 Café. Volunteers

Jennifier Houge, Sue Bumgarner and

Heidi Downs helped with the event.

Wilma Mikeal helped with gathering

donations for the silent auction.

We now have a new reception area

and with that reception area comes a

need for volunteers . If you would

like to volunteer as a receptionist,

please contact Hope Bumgarner at

758-0888.

We have moved Domestic Violence

Group meetings to Tuesday at 5:30-

7:30pm. We need volunteers for

childcare for this group as well as

our RASA Group which meets every

other Thursday. Jerry Crump, Jerry

Greene, Russel Colvard, Willie Lefe-

vers and George Carrol (pictured

right) helped relocate 3 storage

buildings from our Taylorsville of-

fice to the Lenoir Location. These

gentlemen also assist in moving cli-

ents from the shelter into their New

housing when there is a need.

If you would like to volunteer at the

Shelter Home of Caldwell County, please

v i s i t o u r w e b p a g e

www.shelterhomecc.org and look under

Volunteer Opportunities to see how you

can help. Shelter Staff and clients would

like to say “Thank you“ to ALL our vol-

unteers.

Volunteers in Action

"Extend a hand

whether or not

you know it shall

be grasped." -

Ryunosuke Satoro

PO Box 426

Lenoir, NC 28645

Return Service Requested

Shelter Home Staff

The Shelter Home provides crisis services 24/7 and is able to do this because of a fine staff

which is dedicated to making the Shelter Home a place of “Hope, Help and Healing”.

Sharon Poarch, Executive Director .................................................................... [email protected]

Jan Nash, Business Manager ............................................................................. [email protected]

Lisa Triplett, Court Advocate ............................................................................ [email protected]

Kim Watson, Rape & Sexual Assault/Child Advocate....................................... [email protected]

Lily Moody, Domestic Violence Program Manager ........................................... [email protected]

Hope Bumgarner, Community Outreach Coordinator………………………[email protected]

Shannon West, Child Advocate…………………………………………………[email protected]

Tina Gilbert, Housing Coordinator…………………………………………………[email protected]

Patty Burke ,Victim Advocate Alexander County…………………………………[email protected]

Dawn Chumley, Court Advocate Alexander County……………………………[email protected]

Shelter Managers:

Barbara Price, Safety Program Manager ............................................................ [email protected]

Anita Hicks…………………………………………………… ……………………[email protected]

Jan Smith……………………………………………………………………...……[email protected]

Hannah Lowman………………………………………………………………...…[email protected]

E-mail us or Contact us at: 828-758-0888

Fax: 828-758-8949

PO Box 426

Lenoir, NC 28645

Return Service Requested

We’re going GREEN- Please request your newsletter be sent by email. Send request

to [email protected] or simply call (828) 758-0888 and ask for

the Community Outreach Coordinator. Get a Volunteer Application and get involved

with us! Thank you!