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Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular idea, event, or issue. Underline the problem area, then, add in background information to provide context for the idea, event, or issue, and to make the importance of that idea, event, or issue clear to the reader.
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Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Dec 31, 2015

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Page 1: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

JournalLook back at your most recent draft of your

essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information

about a particular idea, event, or issue. Underline the problem area, then, add in

background information to provide context for the idea, event, or issue, and to make the

importance of that idea, event, or issue clear to the reader.

Page 2: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Ratiocination for “I Believe” Essay

AP Language and CompostionDaniel Johnson

Stephen F. Austin High School

Page 3: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Claims and support1. Mark your claims in one color. 2. Mark your support for your claims in a second color.

Mark all evidence for one claim in the same color. 3. Draw an arrow back to the claim that the evidence

supports. Check to see if any support needs to be moved closer to the claim for clarity.

Page 4: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Check your Claims1. Are your claims arguable or debatable? That is, are they

statements that can be supported in either the negative or the affirmative?

* Now is a good time to check if you’ve made sufficient use of concession and refutation! Ask yourself, “When the reader sees this claim, what will he/she think as possible counter-arguments?” *You can, and should, add any necessary concession and/or refutation if your piece still seems in need of them.

2. Are your claims specific? Do they suggest exact, clear arguments?Vague: It is important for each of us to find his or her identity. Specific: It is important for a teenager of high-school age to actively seek out his or her interests, and to begin to define himself or herself through experimentation with ideas and activities.

Page 5: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Check your Claims, part 21. Are your claims clearly worded?

2. Are your claims consistent? Make sure there are no obvious (or subtle!) contradictions between the different claims you make.

Page 6: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Check your Evidence

• Compare your evidence to the qualities of effective evidence in your “Strategies” notes.

• Make notes in the margins of your paper of anything that needs to be added or otherwise altered to make the piece more effective in conveying your intended purpose to your target audience (hint—you must know clearly your intended purpose and target audience!)

Page 7: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

DICTION: Connotation and Denotation1. First, mark verbs with a new color. 2. Next, repeat the process with adjectives and adverbs (in a new

color).3. Repeat once again with common (not proper) nouns (in a new

color). 4. Look up synonyms for major verbs and compare the suggested

meanings. Make a 4-column chart with “words” then “meanings” then “synonyms” and “meanings of synonyms.” Organize the list by part of speech.

5. Compare your original words to the synonyms. Choose new words to replace originals that don’t fit (either they don’t make sense, or the connotations aren’t exactly what you intended.)

6. Repeat once again with common (not proper) nouns (in a new color).

7. Finally, check to see how many abstract versus concrete words you have. Replace unneeded abstract words with concrete words, or add additional writing to clarify and/or explain abstract concepts that can’t be replaced.

Page 8: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

– In your group, compare “patriots,” “heroes,” “soldiers,” “war criminals,” “invaders.”

• What is the emotional value of each word?

• What does each word imply?

• What clues do we get about the author’s attitude about this subject from each of these words?

Page 9: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Denotation and Connotation• Connotation: the implied meaning of a word; the emotive qualities

of the word.

– The most important aspect of diction for analysis! • Gives clues to author’s stance, tone, and bias. Suggests how

the author wants us to view the subject.• Helps to establish pathos—creates certain feelings for the

reader that subtly (almost subliminally) convince us of the author’s claim(s).

“I am firm, you are obstinate, he is pigheaded.”--

Bertrand Russell

Page 10: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

“TO BE” verbs and Active versus Passive Voice

1. Draw a triangle around each of these verbs;

– Is, as, was, were, be, being, been, has, had, have

2. Count up the total number of triangles and write the total at the top of the first page of your draft. Your goal is to get rid of 1/3 to ½ of your “to be” verbs—if you began with 9, you need to get rid of 3-5.

Page 11: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Revising Passive Voice (“to be” verbs)Change “to be” verbs by revising with active verbs

“I was going to be late, so I called my parents to let them know.” “I was late, so I called my parents to let them know.”

Change “to be” verbs into gerunds and participles“To be winning every year is each team’s goal.” “Winning every year is each team’s goal.”

OR Combining the above and Rearranging sentence structure to get rid

of “to be” verbs (usually by moving subject noun nearerto the front of the sentence)

“Each team seeks victory every year.”

Page 12: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Syntax: Sentence Lengths

• Telegraphic: shorter than 5 words in length

• Short: approximately 5 words

• Medium: approx. 18 words

• Long and involved: 30 or more words

Page 13: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Sentence Types (AKA, “Stuff you should already know”)

• Simple: An independent clause without additional modifying information (i.e. dependent clauses).– “Don’t open the door.”

• Compound: Two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction.– “Don’t open the door or the deadly smell will kill you.“

• Complex: A combination of a dependent clause and an independent clause in some order (DC, IC or IC DC).– “If you walk to the top of the tower, you will find a sacred

sardine can.”• Compound-complex: A combination of a compound and a

complex sentence. – “Because the swamp is near your back door, you might

expect the Creature of the Black Lagoon to come and tear apart Uncle Al’s Fishin’ Shack because it’s in his way. “

Page 14: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Syntax: Loose and Periodic Sentences (the probably new stuff)

• The most emphatic position in a sentence is often at or near the end, and the second most emphatic position is often the beginning of the sentence.

• Analyzing loose and periodic is usually a matter of analyzing emphasis.

Page 15: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Loose Sentences

• Loose sentence: independent clause followed by other stuff, usually DCs.

– She wore a yellow ribbon, which matched the shingles of the house, which were painted last year, just before he left for the war. (IC + DC<s>

– Effects: often moves quickly. A succession of these increases the overall “pace” of the writing. Often sounds crisp, businesslike, efficient.

Page 16: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Periodic Sentences• Periodic Sentence: A sentence with several dependent

clauses that precede the independent clause. The independent clause appears right before the period. (DC + IC)

– “While watching the cave and wondering why the rain had not stopped, nor taken any time to abate, the hero filed his fingernails and waited. “

– Effects: builds up to a final point. Like parallel structure, often gathers momentum.

– Conversely, can “put off” the main point, making it seem less important than it may be.

– Often sounds balanced, deliberate, thoughtful.

Page 17: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Commas• DC , IC (periodic)

“Though he didn’t know it, she had a present for him.”

• IC DC (loose)“She had a present for him though he didn’t know it.”

• IC ; IC“He didn’t know it; she had a present for him.”

• IC , FANBOY IC“He didn’t know it, but she had a present for him.”

• IC . IC“He didn’t know it. She had a present for him.”

Page 18: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Sentence Combining1. Highlight your piece in alternating colors. Give

one sentence one color. Give the next sentence a second color. Return to the first color.

2. Look for patterns to exploit or to alleviate. If you have many short, choppy sentences, but you didn’t intend on them, combine them. If you have many long, rambling sentences, break them up. Keep in mind the effect that you intend to create; the writing should convey your purpose to your intended audience.

Page 19: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!• Parallel Structure: A pattern of language that creates a

rhythm of repetition. Can be parallel sentences or clauses within a sentence. – There are several varieties: we will discuss these when we talk about

schemes and tropes.

– EX: “We will fight them on the beaches, and fight them in the hills, and fight them in the forests, and in the villages of the dell“ (Churchill).

– EX: “Veni, vidi, vici; I came, I saw, I conquered” (Caesar).

– Effects: Works like a train gathering steam; creates emotional “steam” as it drives forward. • Can also effectively create contrast and comparison of ideas: see the opening

to A Tale of Two Cities for a prime example.

Page 20: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Parallel Structure

• Can include words balancing words, phrases balancing phrases, clauses balancing clauses, and sentences balancing sentences.

• Read the passage from Patricia Williams, on page 65 of Everyday Use. Complete the activity at the bottom of that page in a small group. We will discuss your results.

Page 21: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Problems of Parallelism

• In order for a sentence to utilize parallel structure, all parts must be structured the same.

• “I wanted to bite, chop, and to devour.” – “I wanted to bite, chop, and devour.” OR– “I wanted to bite, to chop, and to devour.”

Page 22: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Agreement in number

• Singular nouns must have singular pronouns

“Many people take their coffee with cream and sugar.”

• Plural nouns must have plural pronouns

“One may take his or her coffee with cream and sugar.”

Page 23: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Pronoun-antecedent agreement: agreement in number

• Plural nouns (nouns ending in –s) must have plural verbs (verbs not ending in –s

• Singular nouns (nouns not ending in –s) must have singular verbs (verbs ending in –s)

Page 24: Journal Look back at your most recent draft of your essay. Find at least one place where the reader would need more background information about a particular.

Parenthetical Documentation of Quoted Material

• See Trimmer’s MLA Documentation Guide or the MLA handbook for specific information.