Its Not Too Bad

8/7/2019 Its Not Too Bad

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It's Not

Too Bad



Waking up on the ground with a mouth-full of sand next to a pile of horse crap is never a good day.

He opened his eyes, rolled over on his back, and looked at the sky. The sun directly over him, right in

the middle of the sky. He sat up and began to look around. At that moment, he realized, he had no idea

where he was, or even who he was.

He searched his pockets for something, anything, that could trigger a memory or give him someclue as to where he was. Feeling in his shirt pocket to the left, he felt a rectangular object and pulled it

out. He read it to himself in his mind, “Mernard, Kaztan. 5'6. Male. 24 . . . Kaztan? Is that my name? . .

. Maybe its Mernard. . . . Do I really not remember my own name?”. Since of course, on any

government issued document, the last name appears first, and the first appears second, his name was in

fact, Kaztan. He stood up and turned around looking in all directions. North, east, south, west, nothing

could be seen for miles, nothing but a mountain range to the west, and a desert landscape in every other

direction. He turned around again, this time, a sparkle caught his eye. Then, once more, he saw the

shimmer in the distance. The sparkle appeared to be continuous. He decided to head in that direction, to

the north. Perhaps he would arrive at a town, or a home. “Anything, really, would be worth the travel”

He thought.

Kaztan began to walk, then stopped, and looked back to see if he had left anything behind. It

was very odd to him that he had nothing other than a drivers license. He started to walk again, doing his

best to try and stay in a straight line, correcting himself in the direction of the sparkle to the North

about every fifteen minutes, since he walked with his head toward the ground to keep the sun out of his

eyes. He had no watch, he had no way of knowing what time it was, other than seeing the position of the sun. At this point, he could clearly see the sparkle directly ahead of his path, but it seemed with

every step, the sun was getting closer and closer to the horizon.

A horse-shaped silhouette caught his attention, standing in the distance, on top of what appeared

to be a hill of sand. The silhouette then ran off as he neared the hill. Now, at the top of the hill, he was

able to see a gas station, no more than one hundred feet away perhaps. A road that stretched on for

miles led up to the station. The sun already beginning to set, he ran down to the station to see if their

was anyone their who could help him find his way back home, wherever that may be. He walked into

the gas station, the lights were off, and it was only now that he noticed no one was there. There were

holes in the wall and broken glass on the old, scuffed up, wood floor.

He then saw a flash of light, casting a quick shadow of himself on the wall in front of him.

“Hello?!” A voice shouted in the distance. Kaztan ran outside to see who was there. He saw a shadowy

figure, seemingly wandering about aimlessly. He hid behind a pile of stacked crates alongside the wall

of the gas station building. “I just need directions. . . Anyone?” Shouted the voice. He could hear the



voice much clearer now; it sounded like a young woman. Kaztan came out of hiding and slowly moved

towards the direction of the stranger.

“Who are you?” Said Kaztan.

“Hey I need help. Do you know your way around this place pretty good?” The woman asked.

He replied. “What, the desert? It's pretty flat. I guess if you keep walking in the same directionyou should end up somewhere, right?”

“No I mean . . . this whole place we're in.” She said.

“And . . where exactly . . . are we?” Replied Kaztan.

The woman walked into the building of the gas station, found the fuse box, and turned on the

lights. Kaztan fallowed behind, asking her a plethora of questions related to his arrival at this “place”.

She closed the fuse box, turned around, paused for a moment, and with a puzzled look said,

“. . . Are you new here?”

“Okay first, where is 'here'? And second, who are you? What's your name? Where are you

going?” Asked Kaztan, in a frantic string of questions. “You ask a lot of questions, don't you? Come on,

help me get some fire wood. It gets insanely cold in the desert at night, which is crazy, 'cause its a

desert, right?” She laughed, as she walked out of the building. “No, what do you mean? I'm not staying

here over night. I. Need. To. Get. Home. Like . . . do you understand what I'm saying here!?” Said

Kaztan, in a louder, more serious voice than usual. “We don't really have time for this right now. We.

Need. To. Build. A. Fire. Do you understand what I'm saying?” Said the woman. Kaztan took a deep

breath in, held it for a moment, and sighed out.The woman turned around and walked away as she said, “Get as much wood as you can and

meet me back here in about 15.”

“Wait! I don't have a . . . flashlight . . . thingy . . . okay well . . .” His voice grew smaller as she

walked away. He turned the other direction and started looking for wood. He then remembered the

crates he was hiding behind; they were old, gray, and dry. He went back to the gas station and began to

drag the crates across the cement. He stopped on the cement for a moment, then continued to drag them

to the side of the building, onto the sand. He figured, if there was still gas on that cement, the whole

place could burn down in their sleep, or even worse, explode. Kaztan had a somewhat outrageous way

of thinking, but of course, anything was possible.

While thinking about dying in fiery explosions, he noticed the woman had left her backpack on

the ground close to where he was stacking the crates. “She won't be back for about ten minutes. Maybe

she has a map.” He thought to himself. He sat down and reached over to her backpack and felt around

inside without looking. “A coat, maybe a blanket?” Thinking to himself again. He then felt a



rectangular shape, like the one he found on himself earlier in the day. He pulled it out. “Moema, Jaci.

5'3. Female. 23” He read. “Did you find what you were looking for?” The woman said, seemingly

appearing out of nowhere. Startled, Kaztan replied. “Yes. I mean no. What? Nothing.” He said, in a

frenzied rush while trying to put her ID back in her back pack, fumbling with the zipper trying to close

the pack. She threw her collected wood on the ground. “Pass me my backpack, will you?” She asked.He gave it to her. She took out a match and struck it against a nearby rock and began to light the

firewood. “Ow damn! I just burnt myself. Shit that hurts.” She said, as she shook her hand in pain,

pulling a water bottle out of her bag, along with a bandage to put over the now forming blister.

“Where do you get all this stuff?” Kaztan asked.

“Here and there. Just from people.”

“There's other people?”

“Yeah, of course there are”

Kaztan looked at her in the glow of the fire. She was the only thing he could see, with the sun

now completely out of sight. “My name is Kaztan, by the way.” She looked up. “My name is Jaci.

Obviously, you already know that.”

“That's a nice name. What is it, German?” Asked Kaztan.

“It's Native American, actually. It means 'Moon', originally from the Tupi tribe. My mom was

only part Native though, and my dad, he was just white. Or . . . Caucasian, in the politically correct

term.”

“Oh. I'm white. . . Or European, maybe. My name . . . doesn't mean anything. It's kind of justlike a bunch of random letters put together.”

“Well Kaztan, that's quite interesting.” She said, sarcastically.

Kaztan now for the first time was noticing the way Jaci looked. She was wearing a zipped up gray

sweatshirt over a white, red, and burgundy floral print summer mini-dress. She wore black slip-on

shoes. Her hair was very straight and black, about a foot and a half long, from root to end. Jaci was

noticing Kaztan as well. Kaztan wore blue jeans, a dark blue shirt, and a gray zip up sweatshirt. He had

short straight black hair, about an inch or two. “Where are we?” Kaztan then said, breaking Jaci's stare

at him. “Have you ever known someone that you always thought was a looser? Or a failure? And

because of that, you stop hanging out with them, and you never really see them again?” Asked Jaci.

Kaztan thought about it and gave a reply. “I had an older friend once, Marcus, about 26 years old, who

I always thought was the coolest. But then I grew up and realized, anyone who mooches off of you and

lives in an apartment that you can hardly afford in the worst part of town, while the they spend all their

time trying to get good at online video games, is not cool.”



“Yeah, and where did he end up?”

“To be honest, I have no clue. Maybe he became a hobo, grew a beard, and went to live in a

park, yeah?” He said as he laughed. Then he continued.

“I don't know. Its almost like he just disappeared off the face of the earth completely”

“Maybe he did.”Kaztan looked back at her, confused by what she had just said. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“This place, its like . . . where all the unwanted go. Like . . . an inter-dimensional trash can, so to

speak.” Kaztan looked at her seriously at first, but then said “. . . Oh okay, you're just screwing with

me, right? Yeah, nice. Seriously, tell me how to get home though.”

Kaztan looked at Jaci. “You're serious?” He said

. “Of course I am. How else would I just come up with this kind of stuff?” Said Jaci.

“You could use your imagination.”

“Oh – yeah – really, like I'm going to make shit up. Have you not noticed that we're in the

middle of nowhere? And that you can't remember anything about who you are?” She said. Kaztan

looked up at her.

“How do you know I can't remember?” He asked.

“It happened to all of us. It just takes some time to get it back. . . A lot of time.”

“So . . . you really are serious. Is there any way to get out?”

“Yeah I've heard of a way. That's actually where I'm headed. You only get one chance though.”

“Where is it exactly? Does it have a name?”“People call it Tiyoc. I don't know if it's the name of a town or a city, or if it's just a barren

place, just like here, that's why it's hard to find, because you don't know what you're looking for.”

Kaztan looked at the old, run down gas station, then looked back at Jaci. “So, what, this place is

like . . . the island of misfit toys?” He asked. “Kind of. It's where people are brought to that don't

contribute anything, and just make other peoples lives worse. It's kind of like . . . Think of it this way,

say you have a job, but you're not doing your job, so you get fired and kicked out, right? Your life is

your job, and if your not living it the right way, say, becoming a drunken hobo for too long and not

trying to pick yourself back up, then you come here. It also has a lot to do if anyone cares about you

too. Obviously, if they care about you, you can't just go missing, and if they care about you, you must

be doing something right. Maybe you bring them joy when they're sad, or help them out when they

need it.” Stated Jaci.

Kaztan looked over at her for a moment. “How did you get here?” Jaci then replied “I think I

just . . . I don't know. Maybe I just disappointed too many people, and none of them cared enough about



me, so I came here.” Kaztan brought his knees closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

“Yeah it's getting colder now” Said Jaci, as she pulled two blankets out of her bag and gave one to

Kaztan. “I saw building on the way here. Maybe two or three miles back. I didn't think to stop at it

'cause I figured it was empty anyway. We could go back that way tomorrow morning and see if anyone

knows how to get to Tiyoc.” She looked over at Kaztan, who was now already asleep. Jaci turned over,laid down, and went to sleep as well.

Kaztan woke up, yet again with a mouth-full of sand. “That's the thing about sleeping in a

desert, you gotta keep your mouth shut.” Jaci laughed. Kaztan sat up, spit out the sand, and rinsed his

mouth with the water from the water bottle she had left out overnight. He looked up at Jaci, who now

walked up to him to grab the water bottle from him. Almost directly in line with the sun, all he could

see was the silhouette of her figure. “The road heads west. Let's go.” She said.

Still half asleep, Kaztan replied “You mean walk?”

“Unless you've got a car, then, yeah.” She said. Kaztan stood up and dusted himself off. He

made sure he had his ID with him, and they set off westward. “Aren't you hot in that coat?” Asked

Kaztan. “Aren't you hot in that coat?” Jaci asked.

“Do you do this a lot?”

“What? Travel the desert with a stranger?”

“No, ask a question in response to another question”

“Do you?”

They continued on until they began to see a dot in the distance to the left side of the road. Thecloser they got, the better they could make out the shape of the building, as well as a sign standing high

above it. Kaztan read the sign aloud. “Auto Repair and . . . Junkyard” He said. “So if they fail at fixing

your car, they can just throw it in the junkyard.” He added, while he laughed slightly. “Maybe the other

way around.” She said, as she walked in front of him, approaching the door. When they walked in, they

arrived at an old auto shop, looking similar to the gas station they just left. Jaci noticed the planks of

wood on the wall looked black, like it had been in a fire. It had two levels, but the stairs to the second

level were blocked off. Over the counter, through a window, Jaci saw a fence that held what appeared

to be two cars. Kaztan started talking as they walked in further.

“Oh damn, they've got AC! Who would've thought you'd find AC in a place like this, aye?”

“Did you just say 'aye'? What are you, Canadian?”

“Yeah. So what? Maybe I am.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a voice coming from a room in the back. They couldn't

make out words, just what sounded to be a drunken slur of sounds, coming from a fat man who couldn't



seem to maintain his balance. They stayed standing at the counter. A man in a white shirt and jeans,

covered in grease, came around the corner, who was in fact, heavyset. He didn't seem to notice them

standing there. Kaztan cleared his throat to get the mans attention. “Oh well dayng son I dint see you

standin' there. What can I do ya for?” Said the man, with a stupidly joyful smile on his face. Jaci

replied to the man. “We actually just need some directions–” Kaztan then interrupted.“And a car. We need a car.”

“Kaztan, we don't need a car.” Jaci sternly whispered.

“Seriously? You're going to travel all these miles without a car?”

“Have you seen this guy? He's probably drunk. I don't want a car that was worked on by him,

and beside, you don't even know if he has a working car.”

The man inserted himself into their whisper-y conversation. “Well if it's a car ya need, I've got

two right out back. Just gotta fix em up. They aint got no bells an whistles, but it'll sure getcha from

point A all the way across to Timbuktu.” Again, with an annoyingly content smile. “We don't have

anything to trade though. The only useful things we've got is like some matches and two blankets.” Jaci

said. “Well now hold on there little lady, I think we just struck a deal.” The man said, as he slowly

leaned toward Kaztan and Jaci. Her pointed to a blue blanket in the corner of the room, with a lumpy

moving shape underneath. “See that? That there, is my dog, but we only got one blanket. And I aint

gonna just take it from him. Like my papi always said, 'Don't take nothin from no one that aint got no

thumbs'.” Both Kaztan and Jaci thought this was very odd, as you could tell by the expressions on their

faces, but, this was a good deal nonetheless, considering they could get another blanket any other time.“We got a deal?” The man asked. “ . . . Sure” Answered Jaci. “Well allrighty then, I'll get started

right now! My name is Doug by the way.” He said, as he pulled a towel out of his pants and wiped his

hands. Kaztan slowly reached out, and Doug grabbed his hand and shook it profusely.

“I'm Kaztan. And this is Jaci.”

“Pleasure to meet the both of ya!” Doug still shaking Kaztan's hand “Oh! guess I better stop

shakin' your hand now. Hey, if y'all want somthina eat, there's some food over in them cabinets.” He

pointed to an area to the right. “Guess I better get to work. I'll come'n getcha when I got a car up an

runnin.” He said, as Jaci watched him walk away down the hall and exited out the back door. The

sound of the door closing was fallowed by the sound of a snap to her right. “Oh. Shit.” Said Kaztan, as

Jaci turned her head to see him holding the remains of a broken cabinet door. “Kaztan , just don't touch

anything. This guy's kind of weird” She said, as she walked over. “Are you not hungry? 'Cause I'm

like . . . hungry.” Said Kaztan.

Jaci sat down on a table in the middle of the room. She looked out the row of windows in the



room. All she could see was a flat, barren landscape, besides the mountain range to the west. But from

this distance, the mountain range looked more like just a thin dark line drawn across the middle of a

piece of paper. Her thoughts got interrupted by the sound of little wooden doors opening and closing.

“What are you still doing? You know this guy is crazy. He probably doesn't even have food.” Jaci said,

while Kaztan opened a refrigerator that stunk of rotting fish eggs and spoiled yak milk. “Holy shit willyou close that!?” Jaci said, while trying not to gag. Kaztan pulled something out and closed the

refrigerator quickly. He walked over to Jaci and sat down while putting a sandwich on the table.

“You're not going to eat that, are you?” She asked with a look of disgust on her face. “Yeah. I mean no.

I mean, do you want it? Theirs more in the fridge . .” He said. Jaci let out a laugh as though she was

revolted and amused at the same time.

The smell of the sandwich began to be more evident. “Oh God, it smells like carrots and vomit!

Holy crap Kaztan get rid of that!” She said, as she continued to laugh and hold her hand over her

mouth. Kaztan took a bite of the sandwich. “It just absorbed the smell of the other food. It tastes fine.

Trust me. You want some?” Kaztan said as he waved the sandwich in the air. Jaci, for the first time in a

long time, felt a feeling of happiness.

With this feeling, she felt more comfortable doing things she wouldn't normally do. She reached

over to grab the sandwich, and her sweatshirt sleeve got caught on a splintery wood part of the table.

“Whoa shit, what happened to your arm?” Said Kaztan as he looked at the scars all along the length of

her arm. Jaci quickly pulled up her sleeve and looked away in embarrassment . “Nothing.” She said.

Then Kaztan replied “I mean, it's okay. You don't have to like . . . be embarrassed about it or anything.I mean, we're already down in this place anyway–” Jaci intruded. “Stop, Kaztan. Okay? I'm sorry I just

don't want to talk about it. No one gives a shit anyway.” She said, as she stood up and walked out of the

repair shop. “Um . . . yeah your guys car is ready” Said Doug, peeking around the corner, as if he had

heard everything. “There was kind of a . . . problem. Though. Um. Yeah . . . you might just wanna

come look at it” He added. Kaztan stood up and walked down the hallway to the back door. When he

opened the door, he saw the back end of the car facing towards him. “So . . . what's the problem?” he

asked. “Go look at the other side” Said Doug.

“You took the back half of a car and the front half of a car and joined them together?” Said

Kaztan.

“Yeah well I already started this little project right here 'bout two months ago. At first, all I had

to do was change the muffler, but the damn thing wouldn't come off, so I ended up cuttin the whole car

in half, and using the back end of the car with the good muffler pipe and just meltin em together.”

“Of course. 'Cause that obviously just makes so much more sense.”



“I know, I'm glad someone can actually realize that. You're alright kid, you're alright”

Kaztan looked back at the car.

“I know it's none of my business, but, how did you get down here? I mean, you just seem so . . .

helpful. And nice.” Kaztan said.

“Oh I wasn't always like this. You better believe it. Yup, I lost my job, became a drunken hobo,and never picked myself back up. All I did was steal. No one cared about me, so, I ended up in this

joint. I tried to get out about a few years ago but they said I dint learn my lesson.”

“Wait you know how to get out of here!?”

“Well, I know where to go, if that's what ya mean”

“Well . . . where do I go?”

“See them mountins way over yonder? You gotta go over em. And then . . . I don't remember

much after that, so I guess I don't exactly know how to get there, but if you're headed west, you're goin

the right direction.”

“Okay, thanks” He said excitedly and ran off to go get Jaci. He stopped himself halfway and ran

back. “Why don't you come with us? We could get you out of here too.” Doug looked at Kaztan and

said “Well I appreciate the offer boy, but you only get one chance to get out. And I used my chance

'bout three years ago.” Kaztan replied. “Oh damn that's a shame, the world needs more people like

you.” Kaztan ran off around to the front of the repair shop to go get Jaci. “Jaci, come on, he got the car

fixed. He says we need to go west and over the mountain. Come on, lets go!” Kaztan stood there while

he watched Jaci, sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall with her legs pulled up to her chest. Shedid nothing but stare at the ground, with her chin resting on her knees. He could tell something was

bothering her, more than just him seeing her arm. Kaztan walked over to her. “Come on, Jaci. We can

go home now.” He said, as he helped her up off the ground. Doug drove the car around to the front of

the repair shop. “Hot dayum! This one's a doozy! Almost makes me wish I could keep this one for

m'self!” He yelled out the window while the sound of the revving engine overpowered his voice, then

got out and opened the door for Kaztan. “That's really ugly.” Said Jaci quietly, with half a smile. “It is,

isn't it?” Said Kaztan, as he laughed. Kaztan and Jaci got in the car. Before they drove off, Kaztan made

a note of the mileage. “256,401. Wait, 256,401, holy hell I did read it right. This thing better not break

down two miles down the road or I'm gonna be pissed! ” He thought to himself, as he waved to Doug.

He began to drive down the road, heading west, toward their next destination.

They drove several miles down the road before either of them said anything. “Sorry for like . . .

walking out on you earlier” Said Jaci. She then continued. “I just . . . I don't know. I didn't want to

remember.” Kaztan looked over at her. “Yeah, it's okay. I understand.” Jaci turned and looked out her



side of the window.

“I just want to go home. Maybe if I go back, I could make things right again. You know, get

people to like me and care for me.”

“Yeah. I mean, I don't really remember anything from before I got here, but, I'm sure it must be

better than this place.” Replied Kaztan. He looked down and noticed the car had a clock. It was now 5pm, and the sun was beginning to set. The clouds in the sky lit up in a variety of colors, yellow, orange,

red, purple, and every gradient color in between.

“Why does it do that?” Asked Jaci.

“Why does . . . what do what?” Said Kaztan.

“Why do the clouds change color like that?”

“I'd imagine it has something to do with the light of the sun reflecting off of the water molecules

of the cloud in different wavelengths.”

Jaci turned her head and looked at Kaztan, in a sort of way that would show her uninterested

expression.

“Or I dunno, maybe – maybe it's like where all the unused colors go. They've got to go

somewhere, and this place is so dull, so they all go to their home in the clouds at the end of the day.”

Said Kaztan. “Yeah, that's probably it.” Replied Jaci, in a soft, quiet voice. Kaztan looked over at Jaci,

who was now leaning her head against the window.

“Are you getting tired?” He asked.

“Kind of.”“Should I just keep driving?”

“Yeah, and maybe when I wake up we'll already be there.” She said quietly as she was falling

asleep.

The sun was now completely set. All Kaztan could think of was trying to remember where he

came from, and who he was. Especially why no one cared enough about him to keep him out of this

place. His thoughts began to slow down as he became tired. He thought he should stop along the road

somewhere to get some sleep, but he kept driving though the night, seeing nothing more than the moon

in the sky, the straight road ahead of him, and a cactus to the side every now and then. After time,

driving down the road, he began to notice cacti more often.

The cacti became less frequent and he started to see small bushes. The small bushes then

became bigger bushes, accompanied by small sprouts of grass on the ground. He then looked down at

the odometer, which now showed 256,743, which was three-hundred and forty-two miles more than

when they had started the drive in the car. “Three-hundred miles? Just tonight? Is that really possible?”



he thought to himself while looking at the clock, which read 3:15 am. He then looked up and noticed a

light in the distance. “Is that another car?” He thought. He continued driving down the road, expecting

to see another car. He thought he might put his emergency lights on and wave down the car to see if

they might know how to get to Tiyoc, but he decided to keep driving, he was too tired to even think

about doing anything else other than sitting in that seat and continue driving down that straight road.The light in the distance appeared to be getting bigger.

As he got closer, he now realized it was either another gas station, or a house with a bright light.

As he neared the building, he began to slow down. He pulled into the driveway and got out of the car.

He looked at the building, which was in fact, a house with a very bright porch light. He looked around

at the surroundings. There was an Oak Tree in front of the house, where Kaztan had parked his car

under. He looked over at the house, which was made entirely out of logs. The patio was covered by

where the attic of the house protruded out and over. Kaztan walked over to the door and knocked on it,

hoping someone would answer. He stood there for what seemed like 5 minutes, a fairly long time to

wait if you're on the verge of falling asleep right on the spot. He sat down next to the wall of the house

and immediately began to dose off. Just then, the door opened and a man with a stubbly beard came

out.

“Stand up kid, what do you want?” Said the man. It seemed as if he was drunk.

Kaztan stood up and looked at the man. “Marcus?” He said. The man squinted his eyes.

“Yeah? Who's asking?”

“My name is Kaztan.”“Oh well damn hell, it's Kaz!”

“You remember me?”

“'Course I do! Come on in, come on in!”

“Okay thanks – Oh wait, I gotta, um . .” Kaztan pointed over to the car.

“Oh, so you got yourself a girlfriend did you?”

“Shes not my girlfriend. We're just traveling together.” He said, as he went over to the car.

He slowly opened the car door. “What are you doing?” Jaci mumbled, still partially asleep. “I

found a house.” He replied. “Make sure we don't get killed in our sleep.” She mumbled, once more.

Kaztan laughed quietly. “It's okay, I know him.” He said, while unbuckling her seat-belt. “Just go back

to sleep, I'll carry you inside.” He began to pick her up. “Okay – shit you're kinda heavy. Not that

you're fat or anything, 'cause you're not.” He whispered. Jaci was already asleep. He walked up to the

porch and through the doorway into the living room where a logs were burning in the fireplace. “You

got a bed?” Whispered Kaztan. Marcus pointed him over to a room in the back, down a short hall. He



laid Jaci down on the bed and left the room.

Kaztan walked back into the living room, where Marcus was now sitting in a chair with a cup in

his hand, facing towards the fireplace. Marcus turned around to look at him. “You want?” He said, as

he held the cup up. “No thanks.” Said Kaztan as he sat down in another seat next to the fireplace. “Why

is it that I can remember almost everything about you, but I can't remember anything else?” AskedKaztan. “We're in the same mental atmosphere. It's like a dream. You're aware of who else is there.

Does that make sense?” Asked Marcus. “Honestly, that sounds kind of crazy, but I guess when you're in

a place like this, you realize anything could be possible.” Said Kaztan, now dozing off into sleep. He

saw the fire burning in the fireplace as his eyes slowly closed.

“Hey come on, get up and eat something so we could go already!” A voice shouted. Kaztan

opened his eyes and turned around in the chair. He saw Jaci standing there with a pot of rice and

minced vegetables. “Holy crap I just closed my eyes, wake me up again in the morning . . .” Kaztan

maundered, while he began to doze again. Marcus yanked open the shades of the living room window.

“It is morning, man. Hell, you've been out for at least 8 hours!” Exclaimed Marcus. Kaztan, with his

eyes squinted, looked back at Jaci, then looked at Marcus.

“. . . Don't you have like some steak, or something?”

“No man, I'm a vegetarian now. . . and plus there's hardly any animals here.” Marcus said.

Kaztan took a breath in and sighed. “Okay, lets go.” He said, as he reluctantly stood up and took

the pot from Jaci. She handed him a spoon from the counter behind her. He took it from her, quickly

stuffed a couple of big spoon-fulls in his mouth, and walked out the door. “I'm gonna start the car.” Hesaid, hardly audible, with a mouth-full of food. “And I hate vegetables.” He added. Kaztan got in the

car and started it. Jaci walked out of the house, as did Marcus, closing the door behind them. “Whoa

wait, are you going too?” Said Kaztan as he looked at Marcus.

“Yeah. I know how to get there. I've been there before.” He replied, as he continued walking

toward the car.

“You know where we're going?” Asked Kaztan.

“Yeah man, Jaci told me everything this morning.”

“You told him?” Said Kaztan as he turned to Jaci.

“Yeah, why?” She replied.

“Man, you ask too many questions.” Marcus added, as he got in the back seat of the car. Jaci sat

down in the front seat. “Okay, well, let's go.” She eagerly said. Kaztan started to back up out of the

driveway, and started down the road. Marcus leaned forward between the two front seats. “Okay, so

what you're going to want to do is keep heading straight on this same road until you get to the train



tracks. That's where the road ends.” He said. “No offense, but I think we could have figured that out

ourselves.” Replied Kaztan. Jaci looked at Kaztan and gave him a disapproving look. Kaztan looked

back at the road. Now, In the daylight, he could see that the mountain range that was once very far in

the distance, was now right in front of him, standing high before him, much larger than he thought. He

could see the desert landscape fading into the foot of the mountain. “How long will it take to get to thetop?” Asked Kaztan. “3 . . . 4 hours maybe. It took me three days on foot.” Replied Marcus.

“So you've really been up there? You really know how to get to Tiyoc?”

“Yeah man, I already said that.”

Kaztan continued driving until he started to see larger trees. The road twisted and turned

through the forest. After a few hours, the road began to look all the same. Then, he began to get deeper

into the forest. There were tall, thick trees, moss, plants, leaves, everything was green, so full of life.

“Oh shit – no, no, no! Come on!” Said Kaztan as he pulled the car to the side of the road. “What?” Said

Marcus, as he was just waking up from a nap. “Either we just ran out of gas, or something else is wrong

with the car, I can't tell 'cause this stupid thing doesn't even work! All the gauges are all screwed up.”

Said Kaztan as he got out of the car and slammed the door. He walked to the hood of the car and flung

it open. Chips of rust fell down as he held the hood open. He looked around inside to see what was

wrong with the car. He then noticed a black line to the side of the road. Getting on his knees and

looking under the car, he saw an excess of fluid dripping from multiple places. He stood up and walked

over to his side of the window. “Okay so . . . yeah I guess we just lost all our oil, our gas, and our

coolant.” He said. “How did you figure all that out so fast?” Asked Marcus. “Because it's leaking fromthose three places, dipshit.” Replied Kaztan, in an angry tone. He stepped away and looked at the car.

Jaci and Marcus got out of the car. “. . . Maybe another car will come by, yeah?” Said Marcus as

he laughed. “Marcus, shit I've had enough of you.” Said Kaztan. He continued. “I remember what it

was like when we were actually out there, living our real lives. And I was fine until you came along.

And now you're screwing everything up down here too.” He yelled, while pointing his finger at

Marcus. “Oh bullshit, how is this my fault?” Marcus Asked. “Because you piss me off. That's why. All

you ever did was mooch off me, eat my food, and take my money. I'm not going to let you do that

again.” Kaztan replied as he turned around and started walking away.

“Aw shit man, where are you going now?” Asked Marcus.

“I'm going home.” Kaztan said as he continued walking down the road.

“You should thank me. You would be dead right now if it weren't for me.”

“Yeah well maybe I – wait, what?” Kaztan stopped walking.

“Right before you got here, you were at a park, remember? Central Park? Do you remember



now? I found you down by the lake. Your arm was cut open pretty bad. I took you to the doctor. I was

standing there when you woke up.”

Kaztan turned around to face Marcus.

“And I told you, you should have just let me die. . . Why did I want to die?”

“You lost your home. You went to a lot of parties, just for the drugs. I guess you just couldn'thandle it anymore. . .”

Kaztan thought about it, but his memory was still hazy. He stood there for a moment. “You're

bullshiting me man. You think I would really fall for that?” He said. “Take off your coat.” Marcus said.

“What?”

“I said take off your coat.”

“Why?”

“Come on man just do it.” Said Marcus. Kaztan began to unzip his coat. He took it off and

threw it on the ground. “What? What was that for?” He asked irritatedly. Kaztan stood there for a

moment waiting for a reply. Marcus didn't answer him, so Kaztan reached down for his coat, this time

with the left hand, since that was where it had landed. Now, he noticed a long line down his forearm

that had been stitched over. “They gave you like sixty stitches man. It was really deep.” Said Marcus.

Kaztan was shocked to see this, he didn't know what to say. “Kaztan, you've been here before. And so

have I. We got out together, remember? There is no second chances. You're stuck here. Man . . . sorry. I

can walk home from here. You should come with.” Said Marcus. “. . . No” Said Kaztan, as he looked

up. “What?” Asked Marcus. Kaztan turned his back and started walking down the road again. “Whatare you doing?” Jaci said.

“I'm going to Tiyoc.” Replied Kaztan.

“Did you not just hear what Marcus said?”

“Maybe there's another way.”

Marcus looked at Kaztan, who was still walking away. “. . . You're probably right, maybe there

is another way, but I'm not willing to take that risk again. I'll be seeing you.” Marcus said as he turned

around and headed off in the other direction. Jaci looked over in Marcus's direction. “You're just going

to let him leave?” She asked. “Why not? He can get along just fine on his own.” Marcus stopped and

turned around towards Kaztan's direction for a moment. “Be careful man, you never know who might

turn you in.” He yelled, then turned around and began to walk again. Jaci turned around and ran up to

Kaztan. “Why are you still going?” She asked with a confused look while she walked along side him.

“There's got to be another way. Maybe – maybe I'll remember something more, something to live for.

And then find a way to get home again”



They continued walking. All the while, silent, not saying a word. Kaztan was consumed by his

thoughts. “Why am I still going? Isn't it pointless? Maybe. Maybe not. I mean, theirs got to be another

way, right? What if we never even get there? What if we never finish what we set out to do in the first

place? Am I alright with living here forever?” He thought to himself. Jaci, on the other hand, couldn't

stop thinking about finally getting to their destination. Clouds began to form in the sky, blocking outthe sun. “What time do you think it is?” Kaztan asked. “I don't know, it's hard to tell with the clouds. It

seems like it's getting darker though.” Jaci replied. “Yeah, lets stop here. I hear water. There's probably

a stream around here. We can get some water and sleep here for the night.” Kaztan said, as they stopped

off to the side of the road. Jaci put her backpack down against a tree and walked down to the stream

while Kaztan stayed behind.

Jaci walked down to where she heard the water. “It's over here.” She yelled. She sat down and

scooped up the water with her hands and began to drink it. After several minutes, she walked back to

where she had left her backpack. Kaztan was not there. “Kaztan?” She shouted. She then saw Kaztan's

coat laying on the ground a little deeper into the forest. She walked over to the coat, picked it up, and

continued to walk. Jaci reached the stream again. “Shit! Kaztan what are you doing!?” She said, as she

ran over to Kaztan, who was standing on the edge of where the stream ended, a waterfall.

“Kaztan. What – what are you doing? Come over here.” She said, now standing closer to him, at

a safe distance from the waterfall. “I'm just looking.” Kaztan said casually. “Can you just come here?”

She asked nervously. “Do you think you would die if you jumped from up here? Maybe if you miss the

water, which doesn't look too hard, considering there isn't a lake or anything at the bottom, just a thin,continuous stream.” He said. “What kind of question is that?” She asked, but got no reply. She saw

Kaztan begin to move forward. She quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled him around toward her. Kaztan

looked Jaci in the eyes. “I was just looking.” He said, even though he knew what his intentions were.

Jaci looked looked at his arm. “I – I didn't know” She said. “Neither did I. What do I have

now? What is there to go back to? Why would I even try, knowing that there's no way out? It makes

more sense just to end it now. And if I'm gonna be honest and just cut through all the dramatic shit, this

place just sucks. I don't want to be here forever.” He said.

Jaci looked at Kaztan. “Just . . . just stay with me until we get to Tiyoc at least. Okay?” She said. “It's

getting dark. Let's go back.” She added. They walked back to where she had left her backpack. “It's

weird, it's not really cold here.” Said Kaztan. “Yeah, it's like summer almost.” Jaci added. They sat

down next to each other with their backs against a tree. Each of them quite, thinking their own

thoughts. A few minutes passed, then Kaztan broke the silence.

“I'm not like . . . depressed. Or crazy. Or anything. Just so you know. I just . . . I want to get



back to my old life. And make it right. And help others make their lives right, so they don't end up here.

And it just sucks that I probably wont be able to.” Said Kaztan. Jaci played with the leaf of a flower she

had just found, and replied.

“Yeah no I understand. I know you're not crazy. . . or depressed. You've made me laugh quite a

few times. And that would be a bit hard for a depressed guy, aye?”Kaztan smiled. “Did you just say aye? What are you, Canadian?”

“Maybe I am.” Jaci replied and smiled back. “Oh hey, I still have a CD player.” She said, as she

was feeling around in her backpack. She pulled the CD player out, along with the blanket she had.

“You don't have any headphones though.” Said Kaztan. Jaci replied. “No, but my bag has speakers

built in. Isn't that awesome and totally necessary ?” “Oh definitely ” Said Kaztan sarcastically. Jaci

laughed and stood up to spread the blanket on the ground in front of them. Kaztan laid down on it while

Jaci sat back down against the tree. She plugged the jack of the speakers into her CD player. “I know

this song.” Said Kaztan as he laid back and put his hands behind his head. “Yeah, I think this whole CD

is just a mix of mellow post-rock songs. I used to like it.” Jaci laughed quietly, as if she didn't know

what else to add. Kaztan looked at the stars above him, with the silhouettes of the towering trees to the

left and to the right of him.

“Is this what it was like in real life?” Kaztan asked. “Not really. Theirs too many lights. Too

many people. Too many sounds.” She replied. They went silent for a few moments, while Kaztan

continued looking at the stars, Jaci, looking at her backpack, listening to the music. “Before I got

here . . . I ran away from home. All I took was my bag, a couple of blankets, and a CD player. I thoughtit was all I needed.” She laughed quietly again, thinking of how ridiculous and ignorant she must have

been back then. She continued.

“. . . I had a fight with my dad. I always had fights with my dad. I don't know what I ever did to

him. He just . . . he would hit me. Like . . . for no reason, it seemed. But oh he loved my sister. 'You're

the best thing that ever happened to me' he would always tell her. I was just fed up with it. Like nothing

I would ever do was good enough. That's how I got all these scars, just getting mad, or feeling horrible,

or overwhelmed, it was a way to get the feeling out. Just so many things I remember, I hate them all.”

“Well . . . maybe just don't think about them.” Said Kaztan.

“Of course.” She said.

Kaztan stood up with the blanket and walked over to her. “Here. You're probably cold, right?”

He said as he handed the blanket to her. Jaci took the blanket and wrapped it around herself. “What

about you?” She asked. “I'm not really too cold. And plus all you've got is that mini-dress and a coat.”

He replied. “How considerate.” Laughed Jaci. Kaztan moved her backpack out of the way and sat down





he walked away. “What do you care if you're gentleman-like in front of me?” She loudly said. She

didn't get a reply. She stood up and folded the blanket into her backpack and picked it up. Kaztan

walked back to her. “I was thinking, what if we went back and got the car?” He said. “You mean the car

that's completely worthless; the one that ran out of gas, oil, and coolant, about half a mile back down

the road?” She asked.“Obviously. Maybe we could push it up here and ride it down the other side. I mean, after this,

it's all downhill.”

“You're going to push a car uphill for half a mile?”

“What? No. We are. And beside its only like a two degree slope.”

Kaztan and Jaci walked back until they found the car. “This forest is kinda nice.” Kaztan

thought to himself. “This is ridiculous.” Thought Jaci, but didn't say anything. They arrived at the car.

“Okay so . . . I guess just start pushing.” Said Kaztan. Jaci let out a long sigh.

“Go?” She asked.

“No. . . Okay go.”

“Wait, you – you gotta like count down or something.”

“Oh okay. One, two, three–“

“Wait no, you have to count down, not up.”

Kaztan sighed. “Okay. Three, two, one.”

“Go?”

“Yes. You were supposed to push. Okay three two one go.” He said quickly, without pause.The car began to move. The road was at less of a slope than Kaztan had thought. They pushed

the car to where they had slept the night before. “Okay it's going. Get in.” Said Kaztan as he speedily

walked to the drivers seat. Jaci got in the car and closed the door. Kaztan looked over at her, now as the

car was gaining speed. “Worked pretty smooth, aye?” He said, now looking back at the road, quickly

swerving to keep the car on track.

“You should . . . keep your eyes on the road. . . Maybe. Just a thought.” She said.

“Yeah I – I think I'll . . . I'll probably do that.” He said, trying not to embarrass himself further.

Jaci rolled down the window and put her arm outside, moving her hand up and down like a

snake cutting through the wind. “I used to do that too.” Said Kaztan. “Yeah?” She replied. “It's weird

how you can remember little things about yourself like that, but you can't remember the important stuff

unless someone else tells you.” He said, while looking up to the sky.

“It just takes some time, and you'll remember everything.” She said.

“Maybe I don't want to remember.”



“Yeah? Then don't. Just don't think about it.”

Kaztan rolled down his window and watched the trees going by. The air smelled of sweet pine

and wet grass. Jaci pulled out her backpack and pointed to the CD player. “Eh?” She asked. “Sure.”

Replied Kaztan. The next song on the CD started playing. “This song reminds me of my boyfriend.”

She said. “Oh. You have a boyfriend?” Kaztan Asked.“Yeah. Well, I mean . . . I used to. I can't remember his face, or his name. That's the only thing I

can't remember. It's just – it's blurry.”

“Oh. . . How tall was he?”

“What?” Jaci asked, while laughing at his question.

“How tall was he?”

“What the hell, I don't know. I remember when I would hug him, he would kiss my forehead.”

“Oh I'm about that tall. I'm probably taller. And better looking.” Kaztan maundered very fast

and quiet.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Jaci looked over at Kaztan for a couple of seconds and smiled. Kaztan realized Jaci was looking

at him. He quickly looked over and smiled back at her, then looked back at the road. The car was

beginning to slow down as they neared an open valley. The road began to fade into dirt, and the dirt

into dry grassy weeds. The car slowed to a stop. Jaci turned off her CD player, and put it back in the

bag as they got out of the car. At the other end of the valley, only about 200 feet away, they saw a lineof maple trees at the foot of a small hill, and a smaller mountain range back in the distance.

They began to walk into the valley. “Marcus said something about train tracks, right?” Asked

Jaci, as she looked over to Kaztan falling to the ground. “Yeah. I found them.” He replied, laying face

down next to a railroad tie. “I guess we just fallow them.” He said as he stood up. “It looks like they

start curving back west. So I guess we just fallow them until we see a train we can get on.” He added.

Jaci began walking on the left beam of the track, holding her arms out to maintain her balance. Kaztan

walked on the beam beside her. “Do you think there's even a running train? Or an engineer?” She

asked, looking down at the beams, which looked very old and rusted. “I dunno. Maybe. We've already

gone like 400 miles at least. We should be getting close.” He replied.

“Do you know exactly where we're going?” She asked.

“Not . . . really . . . I guess.” He answered, trying to give himself time to think. “The guy that

gave us the car, he said if we're going west, then we're going the right direction.” He added.

“west for how long? 'Till we reach the sea?”



“Maybe. He didn't say.”

They stopped walking as they heard a noise coming from the distance. “You hear that?”

Whispered Kaztan. Jaci looked at him and slightly nodded her head in agreement From around the

curve of the railroad, they saw a man walking down the middle of the track. He was singing a song,

although they could not make out the words. The man continued walking towards them, his voicegetting louder, and his features becoming more distinguished. “Is that a hobo? . . . And is he drunk? –

why is everyone drunk here?” Jaci Asked. Kaztan replied, talking in a low volume. “They don't like to

be called 'hobo's, they're just job impaired.” Kaztan began to walk closer to the man. “What are you

doing!?” Jaci whispered.

“I'm just gonna go see if he knows anything.”

“Are you crazy? What if he shanks you with a broken spoon and then eats you after letting you

roast over a fire for two and a half hours until you're golden brown and crispy!?”

“That's disturbingly specific. But it'll be fine. I'm just gonna go ask if he knows where these

tracks go.” Kaztan said. “What if he wants to turn you in?” Jaci quietly said, as Kaztan walked away

towards the staggering man.

Kaztan walked up to the man and stopped.

“Hey – excuse me, sir, do you know where this track leads to?”

“What's that boy?”

“Do you know where this track leads to?”

“I'm sorry boy, you're gonna have to speak up.”Kaztan got closer to the man. “Do you know where this track goes?” He said loudly.

“Damn boy, I'm just screwing with you. It's an integral part of being a hobo. You see, you got

the stagger, the bottle of scotch in a paper bag, the piece of cloth tied to a stick, and the personality that

disturbs others. Isn't it beautiful?”

“I'm sorry, what?” Kaztan asked, puzzled. “And to answer your question, this track goes down

the mountain to a station about 30 miles from here. My name is Reginald Roy Stanford, formally, but

you can call me Roy.” He held out his hand. Kaztan shook the mans hand. “I'm Kaztan” He said, in a

confused tone, as if he couldn't read the mans personality. “Come on, we can start heading back that

way. I had to go back anyway. I left my other shoe there.” Roy said as he looked down at his feet, one

barefoot. “Your girlfriend over there can come too.” He added. “She's not my girlfriend.” Kaztan said.

“Oh, excuse me. Well . . . let's go. It's about two-thirty, so we've got about 4 hours of sunlight left.” Roy

said as he turned around and started walking down the track. Kaztan ran back to Jaci and grabbed her

arm. “Come on, let's go. He said the tracks lead to a station a little further down.” He said as they ran to



catch up with Roy.

“Where are you two headed?” Roy asked. “Tiyoc? Have you heard of it?” Answered Kaztan.

“Have I heard of it? Hell, I practically live there.”

“So you could take us there?” Asked Jaci.

“Yeah, I don't see why not.” Roy answered.As they were talking, Kaztan was looking at Roy's attire. “So . . . like . . . do you not have a

job?” Kaztan asked. “What, down here? No. Their really isn't any need for a job. People just trade stuff

if they want food or anything like that, since there is no actual money.” He replied. Kaztan was silent

for a few moments as he watched the ground go by underneath his feet, stepping on each railroad tie. “.

. . Why does everyone say 'down here'? Is this like hell, or something?” Kaztan asked. Roy laughed.

“Who knows? Maybe it is. Probably not though. Maybe like . . . some form of purgatory or

something.” Jaci looked over at Kaztan staring at Roy's clothes. Kaztan began to talk.

“. . . I just – I thought you were like – just the way you looked and everything –”

“A hobo? Crazy? Drunk? A murderer?”

“Well, all of them. Yeah.” Said Kaztan. “I wasn't always like this. Before I got here, I'd say I

was pretty successful. Had a pretty damn nice house. Three cars, one for formal, one for social, and one

just 'cause I had the extra money.” He said with a content expression on his face. “Then one day, after

doing the same thing day in and day out for like twenty years, you know, I just stopped what I was

doing, and went to the park to relax. And so I did the same thing the next day, you know? Who

wouldn't? And so a little while went by, and before I knew it, my house and my cars got taken away. Ididn't really have a problem with it though. I liked being able to sleep in the park every day, without a

care in the world. And then . . . well . . . I woke up here, and continued my career of sleeping all day

and eating whatever I can find. It's a beautiful life, aint it?” Roy said. “I guess, if you like doing that

kind of thing. . .” Kaztan said, as Roy began to turn around to look at him. “I mean yeah I think about it

all the time. Who wouldn't love that? I know I would.” Said Kaztan. Roy patted him on the back.

“That's the spirit, boy!” Roy exclaimed.

They continued walking on, fallowing the railroad. They arrived at a location where the railroad

cut straight through a population of Weeping Willow and Maple Trees. “It's about five o'clock now. The

sun is just now setting behind the mountain over there, so we've actually got about an hour left of direct

sunlight, and about thirty minutes of twilight, which should give us enough time to get a fire going.”

Said Roy. “I don't want to stay here overnight. Let's just keep walking.” Kaztan said. “Well now hold

on there boy, I've taken this route about twenty times before, I know what I'm doing here.” He replied.

Roy walked down to the side of the railroad and threw his sack tied to a stick on the ground. “Watch



my stuff for me, will you?” He laughed. “I'll be back with some wood.” He added, as he walked off

into the trees.

Jaci set her backpack down next to a rock, then sat down on a nearby log. “He's weird.” Jaci

said. “You think everyone's weird.” Kaztan replied. He continued. “He knows how to get to Tiyoc. We

can get you home.” Jaci looked at the ground, moving her foot back and forth, making a grove in thedirt with her shoe. “What about you?” She asked. “I'm sure there's another way.” He replied. Roy came

back with a large amount of wood in his arms. “Anyone got a match?” Roy asked. Jaci took a match

out of her backpack and gave it to Roy, who then took a dead branch from a tree, broke it into pieces,

and lit it on fire. “Put some more branches in and then put a log in. I'll be right back.” Roy said.

Kaztan stood up and broke a branch from the tree. “Ow shit, I think you got a piece in my eye!”

Jaci shouted. Kaztan ran over to her and knelt down in front of her.

“Open your eye.” he said.

“No, it hurts.”

“I can't see if anythings in there if you don't open your eye.”

Jaci slowly opened her eye. Kaztan held her head to keep it steady and looked into her eye. “I

don't see anything. You're fine.” He said.

“Are you sure? Look closer. I feel it in the corner.”

Kaztan got closer and looked at her eye. “. . . It looks fine.” He said. “Sorry.” He added as he

laughed. “Shut up, it's not funny. I could have gone blind.” She replied, trying to contain her laughter.

They were silent for a moment, smiling, Kaztan still holding her head, looking into her eyes. “You canlet go now.” Jaci said as she laughed. “Oh yeah.” He said, as he let go of her head and stood up.

“Damn, boy, you let the fire go out.” Roy said, walking back to their campsite. “Oh, sorry.” Kaztan

said. “No matter, we'll just be needing another match.” Replied Roy. Jaci rummaged through her

backpack, feeling for another match, checking every crevasse, crease, pocket. “I don't – um . . .” She

murmured. “Well boy, looks like you'll be starting this fire the old fashioned way.” Roy said while he

picked up two sticks from the ground, handing them to Kaztan.

Kaztan took the sticks from Roy. “What am I supposed to do with this?” Kaztan asked. “Rub

'em together.” Roy said as he laughed. “Hurry on boy, we're almost out of light.” He added. Kaztan sat

down and began to rub the sticks together. The sticks then broke. Kaztan got another pair of sticks,

which also broke upon rubbing them together. “Here boy, try these.” Said Roy. He handed him a pair of

larger sticks. “ Oh, well thank you very much, kind sir. ” Kaztan said sarcastically. He began rubbing

them together. After a minute or two of intense rubbing, smoke began to form.

“Oh shit, did you see that!?” He said.



“Yeah boy, keep on going, you almost got a fire.”

He continued to rub the sticks together. Then, finally, they broke.

“You've got to be kidding me.” Kaztan said, looking at the broken sticks in his hand.

“Don't worry, you'll get it eventually.” Roy said, who's voice now sounded muffled, as if he had

something in his mouth. Kaztan looked over at Roy, who was bringing an object up in front of acigarette in his mouth. “What is that? What are you doing?” Kaztan asked. “Smoking.” He replied, as

he flipped open a lighter to light his cigarette. Kaztan stared at him, waiting for the cigarette to light.

“. . . What? This is my only lighter. I can't waste it.” Roy said. The cigarette lit up at the end. Kaztan

took the cigarette from Roy's mouth and threw it in the pile of sticks and logs. “Hey – what – that is

uncalled for, boy.” Roy said, as Jaci laughed quietly. After some time, when the fire grew larger, they

moved closer around it. Twilight had passed; now it was dark. Roy pulled out a stick of beef jerky from

his cloth sack. He gave a piece to Kaztan, then handed a piece to Jaci. “Oh, no thanks.” She said.

“What's a matter? You don't like jerky?” Roy asked. “I'm a vegetarian.” She replied.

“Oh well you're in luck. I got some seaweed in here somewhere.”

“No I'm good. I had a big breakfast yesterday anyway.”

“When we get you out of here, you can have all the vegetarian food you want.” Said Kaztan.

“Out of here?” Roy asked. “Yeah. That's why we're going to Tiyoc.” Kaztan replied. “Well,

there's no guarantee on that.” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“There's a door. And this door, you see, takes you to what your heart desires the most.”“How do you know?”

“I've been there, boy. I've used the door. And what I desired, was to never work another day in

my life. So, of course, I ended up never working another day . . . in my life. You see?”

“So . . . you mean like, basically, this whole idea that this door takes you back home, to your

real life, is just a misconception?”

“Well, unless your heart desires to be home more than anything.” Replied Roy. Jaci looked over

to Kaztan, then to Roy. “Kaztan's been out of here before.” She said. “Oh well hell, boy, why are you

trying to get out then? You only get one chance. That's why they call it TIYOC. It's an acronym. This.

Is. Your. Only. Chance. That's what they tell you at the door. It's like a warning, so you can decide if

you're ready.” He said. “So, there's people at the door and they decide weather or not to let you

through?” Kaztan asked. “Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess if you can find a way to get past them, then yeah,

you can go through. But don't count on it, boy.” He replied. They all continued to sit there, staring into

the fire. “So, if I really wanted, I could go back to my real life, and be like . . . a millionaire, or





“That's weird” He said, as he leaned forward, pulling his legs up to his body to keep warm.

“No, I mean –” She laughed. She continued. “Like, he would hug me, and then he would use a

finger to trace 'I Love You' while he said it to me. Like this.” She said, using her finger on Kaztan's

back to demonstrate.

“. . . That's still weird.” He laughed.“Well . . . I thought it was cute.” She smiled. She laid down and turned over on the hay. “Are

you going to sleep?” Kaztan asked.

“No, I'm just going to rest my eyes.” She said.

“Oh. Okay.”

Kaztan stood up and walked over to the open door of the train-car. He watched as the trees went

by. He looked toward the front of the train. The tracks began to turn to the right as they came out into

an open field. He now saw a small group of lights at the bottom of the mountain. “Hey, we're almost

there.” He said. He looked back outside, and now saw the moonlight reflecting off of the train tracks,

which curved back and forth all the way down the mountain. “Wait, never mind.” He said. He turned

around to look at Jaci. “Jaci. Are you awake?” He asked. There was no reply. Kaztan pulled the blanket

out of Jaci's backpack, and gently laid it on her.

Kaztan laid down on another pile of hay beside Jaci. He closed his eyes, with the intent of just

'resting' them, as Jaci had said, but he quickly fell asleep. The sound of the train stopping woke up

Kaztan. He stood up and walked over to the door of the car. He saw light-posts and an old brick

building near by. He walked back over to Jaci and knelt down beside her. “Hey, I think we're here.” Hesaid, as he put his hand on her shoulder. “What time is it?” She asked. “I don't know, it's still dark

though.” He replied. Jaci rolled over and threw the blanket off of herself. Roy walked up to the side of

their train-car. “Well, you coming?” He asked. “Yeah just – lemme just –” Said Kaztan. He folded up

the blanket and gave it to Jaci to put in her backpack.

They both got out of the train-car and began to fallow Roy. They walked into the train station

and sat down on the benches that were there. “You know, one thing I could never figure out, why do

they want to keep us here so bad?” Kaztan asked. “Who do you mean?” Roy replied. “Well, Jaci said

that if you get turned in to the guards, they'll put you in prison.” He said. “Oh, is that your name? I'm

sorry, I never asked. I'm Roy by the way, if you haven't noticed yet.” Roy said, looking over to Jaci.

“Yeah, I noticed.” Jaci replied. Roy looked back at Kaztan.

“To be honest boy, I don't have the slightest clue. Maybe – maybe they're just doing their job.

Maybe it's a test.” Roy said.

“What do you mean? What kind of test?” Kaztan asked.



“Well, maybe it's to see if the people about to go through the door really are worthy of getting

their hearts desire. If a person turns in another person for their own freedom, I guess that kind of person

isn't worthy of their hearts desire. That's just one possibility.”

“But then, what about the people that don't try to turn someone else in? If they're just by

themselves? And why do you have to come here first in order to go through a door to get your heartsdesire?”

“I've thought about it for years, and none of it makes sense. Maybe everything is a test. Maybe

none of this is real, maybe it's a dream. Or maybe – maybe this is the only thing that is real.”

“Yeah, you're sounding kind of crazy now.”

“Well, this is a crazy place that makes no sense. When in Rome . . .”

“When in Rome, what?”

“You – yanno, you do what they do.”

“I've . . . never heard that. Is that even a thing?”

“Yeah, it's a ' thing' . If by ' thing ', you mean, phrase.”

“Well I've never heard it” Kaztan mumbled.

“Damn boy, you talk to much!” Said Roy. Jaci laughed. “Yeah, you kind of do.” She added.

“Well, as I remember it, the door of Tiyoc is about six miles down that road.” Roy said, pointing out a

window. He continued. “If we start walking now, we should get there by sunrise.” He said. “You

ready?” Kaztan asked Jaci. “Yeah.” She replied. They stood up and walked out a door opposite to the

one they had came in. They began to walk down the road. There were pine trees all alongside the road.Kaztan looked to the left as he heard a sound. “Dog.” Roy said. “Aint it sad?” He added. They began to

hear more dogs barking and howling in response to one another. “I never knew there were so many.

The only other dog I saw was at Doug's Auto Repair shop.” Said Kaztan. “You know Dougie!?” Roy

asked excitedly. “. . . Yeah. He fixed a car for us to drive.” Responded Kaztan. “Damn hell, me and

Dougie go way back! You know how he got that dog?” Roy asked. “No, how?” Jaci asked.

“Me and Dougie met in the park, you know, where I used to hang around all day?. He still had a

job, but eventually, he decided to quit his job so we could live the life. Sleep all day, eat whatever we

find, not have a care in the world, you know? Then one day, a dog came up to him. He didn't have a

collar or tags or anything, so he decided to keep him and take care of him. But then, later, his owner

spotted him and went to take him back. So he took his dog and brought him back home. Dougie wanted

the dog back, so we fallowed the guy home. We waited till the guy left, and we went to look in all the

windows of his house, but we couldn't see the dog. The only thing we saw was a dirty, filthy house,

covered in feces and urine.” Roy said.



Kaztan made a face of disgust. “Okay so, why was that necessary for us to hear?” Said Kaztan.

“Well boy, this is where all those unwanted dogs go. And what I'm saying is, now Dougie and

the dog he loved so much are now back together. This place doesn't all have to be bad. I mean, look at

Dougie, aint he one of the happiest sons a bitches you ever seen?”

Kaztan laughed. “Yes . . . yes he is.”Kaztan now realized, Roy knew Kaztan didn't stand a very good chance of getting through the

door. Roy was trying to make him feel better about staying. They continued walking down the road,

through the towering trees. The sky began to turn a lighter shade of blue. “Is that a lake? Or an ocean?”

Kaztan asked, hearing waves in the distance, and smelling salty, mildly fishy air. “It's a lake – a big

lake.” Responded Roy. “About 2.9 miles wide.” He added.

“How do you figure that?” Kaztan asked.

“Well, since, in my own theory, based upon certain aspects I notice in the atmosphere, this place

is a parallel universe to that of Earth, giving it the same radius of Earth. With this in mind, if you take

the square root times the radius of the earth and height of view point, 5 foot 5, about the height of your

eyes, plus the height squared, that gives you about 2.9 miles of distance. Now, there's some foot-hills

on the other side of the lake, which you can just barely see the base of, where the lake ends.”

“Holy crap, what was your job before you got here?”

“I dunno, something about math or something.” Roy said, as he took a swig of something out of

a bottle in a paper bag he was now holding. The sun was now beginning to come up over the horizon.

“Look, I see it.” Jaci said. The road curved to the left, fallowing the edge of the lake. They walked ontothe rocky sand near the lake. “Well, there it is.” Kaztan said. A pier, gated off and around, with ten

stairs at the end, which lead up to a white door that seemingly went nowhere. The pier was guarded by

two tall men, about thirty feet from where they were standing.

“I'll go talk to them.” Jaci said.

“I'll go with you.” Said Kaztan.

“No wait! Just wait here.”

“Um . . . okay.”

Jaci walked up to the two men. Roy and Kaztan watched as she started quietly talking to the

men. She pointed to herself, then turned around and pointed in Kaztan's direction. “Both of them?”

Kaztan faintly heard one of the men say. Jaci looked back at Roy and Kaztan, then back to the men.

She nodded her head in approval. One of the men opened the gate to the pier, let Jaci in, and closed it

behind her. Kaztan ran up to the gate. “Jaci!? What – what are you doing!?” He said. “I'm sorry,

Kaztan.” She said, as she began to cry. “Come with me.” One man said, as he forcibly grabbed Kaztan's



arm. “Get the other one!” The man shouted to the other guard. The man began to drag Kaztan away

from the gate while he struggled to get away. Roy, yelling in the background, also fighting to get away.

Jaci started walking up the stairs, slowly, as if against her will. She put her hand on the door knob, and

began to turn it. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kaztan.” She cried, barely audible. Kaztan, still struggling to

get out of the mans grasp, heard what she had said. Suddenly, he stopped struggling. His memorybegan to come back after hearing what Jaci had just said. He remembered being with Jaci, but in a

different place than where they had been since he first saw her at the gas station. It was a foggy

memory, she was crying, apologizing to him, just as she was doing now. Immediately, the entirety of

his memory rushed back. Jaci began to open the door. A white light began to leak from the crack in the

door; she paused, then continued to fully open it. “Wait! Jaci! I remember!” Kaztan shouted, finally

breaking free from the mans hold. He ran up to the gate, clawing at it, desperately trying to grab hold of

it, as the man ran up behind him, trying to pull him from it. “Jaci, don't go! I remember!” He shouted.

The light began to pull her further in. “Jaci, wait!” He yelled. He elbowed the man in the face and ran

toward the gate, opened it, and ran down the pier while the man chased after him. A massive flash of

white exploded down the pier, and possibly, throughout the entire land. Everything suddenly went

silent.

Waking up on the ground with a mouth-full of sand next to a pile of horse crap is never a good day. But

this day, this day felt different. Jaci woke up. She stood up and looked around. The sun was just rising,

over miles of wheat fields, and in the distance, a barn to the right. She looked to the ground, all aroundher, seeing nothing but dirt, and a road to the left. Her heart began to sink. She then heard a noise

further behind her. She turned around and saw Kaztan laying face down on the ground. She ran over to

him and grabbed his shoulders to turn him over. She sat down and leaned over him. “Kaztan? . . .

Kaztan?” She said. He slowly opened his eyes. He reached up to her mouth, and gently rubbed his

thumb across her lips to wipe off some dirt. “That's the thing about sleeping in a desert, you gotta keep

your mouth shut.” He said quietly, as he smiled. She smiled back at him. “I think we're at a farm

actually.” She said, laughing softly, as if relieved. Jaci took Kaztan's hand and helped him up. Still

holding her hand, Kaztan looked at her. “Was your heart's desire really to wake up at a farm at 6 am?”

He said, as he laughed. “My heart's desire, was to be back in the real world, with the person I love the

most. The only person that's ever meant everything to me. My boyfriend.” She said. He hugged her. “I

Love You.” He said, while he traced the letters 'I Love You' on her back with his finger. “So you do

remember.” She said, shedding a tear of joy, hugging him tighter. “Just before you went through the

door.” He replied. “Did you know the whole time?” He asked. She laughed, wiping a tear from her face



with her sleeve. “No, not until the last couple seconds.” She said. “I fell in love with you down there

though, all over again.” She added. A voice in the wheat field came from behind. “Dang boy, that was

some ride.” Said the voice. “Roy?” Said Kaztan, letting go of Jaci and turning around.

“Damn straight, boy.” He said. “Well . . . I'm gonna be on my way. Maybe I might actually get a

job this time.” He added. “See you around, boy.” He said, as he walked off in the direction of the barn.Kaztan put his arm around Jaci as they went to the road and began to walk down it toward the

sunrise. “You know that thing I do?” He asked.

“The thing with your finger on my back?” She replied.

“Yeah. That is kinda weird. . . Abnormal.”

“I think it's fine.”

“How 'bout instead of that, I call you my Wittle Fwuffy Bunny? 'Cause you make my heart feel

all warm and fuzzy like it's being hugged by little bunnies.” He laughed.

“Yeah, that'll do.” She said, smiling.

They continued walking down the road. “Why don't we get married?” He asked. Jaci stopped

walking. “Oh . . . I'm sorry. I know it's a big question. I just–” He began to say. “I would love to.” She

said, as she hugged him.

Two silhouettes in the sun, hugging in the middle of a farm country road.

Waking up with a mouth-full of sand next to a pile of horse crap isn't always a bad day.

Dedicated to Sara Wesley.



Its Not Too Bad

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