It’s All about the “R” Building with Relationships Parents
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It’s All about the “R”
BuildingwithRelationshipsParents
If you’d like your students to besuccessful, you will need torearrange the letters in “parent,”add an “r” from relationship, andturn a parent into a
PARTNER!
Katy Ridnouer, author, Managing Your Classroom WithHeart
2
Very importantmembers of your
classroomcommunity are
PARENTS
3
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ESSA, Section 1116 (e)(3)To ensure effective involvement of parentsand to support a partnership among the schoolinvolved,…each school and local educationalagency assisted SHALL educate teachers,specialized instructional support personnel,principals, other school leaders, and otherstaff, with the assistance of parents, in thevalue and utility of contributions of parents,and in how to reach out to, communicatewith, and work with parents as EQUALpartners, implement and coordinate parentprograms, and build ties between parents andthe school.
SHALL = MUST 4
Build “bridges,” not walls,betweenparents.
yourself and
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Ten things TEACHERS wish PARENTSwould do:
Be involved in the child’s educationAccept parental responsibilities
Provide resources at home for readinglearning
Set a good example
1.
2.
3. and
4.
5.
6.
Encourage children to do their best atEmphasize importance of academics
school
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Support school rules and goalsUse parental pressure positivelyBe proactive
7.
8.
9.
10. Inform school of situationsschool performance
that may impact
HOME SCHOOL8
Now, what are TENthings you think
PARENTS wish TEACHERSdo?would
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Nine things PARENTS wishTEACHERS would do:
Build student’s self-esteemCare about their children andsafeTreat ALL children fairly
1.
2. keep them
3.
4. Teach the material students need tosucceedCommunicate often and openly withparentsSet high academic standards
5.
106.
7. Be enthusiastic, energetic andpositiveRespect rights and efforts ofparents/guardians and encourageparent participation
8.
9. Be aware of students’ differentlearning styles
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Why do some parents resistinvolvement?
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PARENTS often feel….13
Partnering with Parents toCommunity
“Schooling is first andforemost about relationshipsbetween and among students,teachers, and [parents], and…community building …[whichimproves] teaching andlearning.”
Establish
14Thomas Sergiovanni in Building Community in Schools
Create a positive CLASSROOM
COMMUNITY by . . .• Establishing routines and work habits in
first; content can come later• Teaching organizational skills• Learning students’ names
students
• Planning your first day down to• Standing as you speak• Using a firm but soft voice• Beginning many sentences with
“You will…”
the minute
“We will…” and15
Standing outside your doorwhen students arrive. Thisestablishes authority and
suggests you consider themimportant enough to be
waiting on them.
Setting high standards foryourself if you want a highly
productive environment and ifyou expect students to meet
high expectations ofachievement!
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Communicating withParents and Families
Face-to-Face Two-way/meaningful
Emails/Texts Phone calls Social Media Newsletter Website Take-home notes
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BUILDING THE PARTNERSHIP
• Don’t let assumptions and generalizationsabout parents and families guide yourefforts.
• Don’t rely on observations or experiencesof other teachers to cloud your judgmentof students.
• If you’re genuinely interested in what aparent feels or wants, ASK.
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Student InformationFull Name: Date of birth:Parent/guardian’s names:Mailing Address: (street or PO Box)Parent/guardian’s phone number: (home) (cell)Parent/guardian’s E-mail address: Your E-mail address:Your cell phone number: Do you have access to the Internet at home?This Semester's Schedule
1. Teacher2. Teacher3. Teacher4. Teacher
•Do you have any health issues I should know about? If so, what are they?•List after school activities in which you participate (sports, band, work, etc.):•What are the top 5 songs you listen to ALL the time?•What are your plans after high school?•What is your favorite candy or dessert?
What are your career plans?Are you allergic to any food? Please list food allergies:
•What was your favorite class last year? Why?•Above And Beyond: On the back, please write a paragraph about yourself. Tell me anything else that
19you want me to know about you. Please do your very best work.
In a Million Words or Less… (Homework for Parents)Dear Parent/Guardian
IN A MILLION WORDS OR LESS . . . TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SCHOLAR!Yes, you are getting a homework assignment! It takes me a great deal of time to
know your child. Some I never really know. This activity gives you a chance totell me what you think I should know about your scholar. I will read your“homework.” I will not share your comments with any other person, includingother teachers, unless you tell me in your message that I can.
Your scholar is in for a great experience this semester. The curriculum is rigorous,but very doable. I teach from a thematic approach and expect my students toread, write, think, work in groups, work independently, and be creative. Mostimportantly, I want students to make connections between what we read andstudy and real life -- especially their lives. This should be a very exciting andbusy semester.
Take your time with this, but there must be a deadline. Please send In a MillionWords or Less . . . to me no later than . You can either send it with yourscholar or email it to me. You can find my email address below.
Communication is important! Please feel free to call on me, email me, or visit anytime you have questions or concerns. I appreciate your time and effort.
Sincerely,
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BUILDING A SUCCESSFULPARTNERSHIP
Wordsalways
of encouragement arewelcome and create apositive effect.
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Partner with parents by…
Being proactive! Reach out … make a friendly, positive
introductory contact before any specificstudent concerns arise.
Send a “Before School Starts” greeting.
Share positive school messages often. Share student talents and
accomplishments.
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Maintaining contact withparents is CRITICAL!!!
Set up as many positive interactionsas possible – as soon as possible!!
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Positive parent communication isvital to help students succeed,
enhance your professionalreputations, and save you
stress.a great
deal of
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By taking steps to be apositive communicator,
you'll greatly increase thelikelihood that yourstudents' parents are
involved in theirlearning—and that the"word on the street"
nothing but good.is
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HAPPY-GRAMS(minimum of 2 per semester )
I just wanted you to know …..
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Find at least ONE positivecomment to make about
every student. Use mailinglabels to keep track of
notes sent.
POSITIVE MESSAGE TO PARENTS
Dear <Name ofI am writing to
Parent/Guardian>let you know how pleased I am with
<Name of Student> recent success in my class.be happy to know that <Description of Success>
You will
I know you are as proud of this effort and achievementas I am. Thank you for your support.
Sincerely,27
REMEMBER THEPOWER OF “R”
NEVER lose sight of the factthat you and the parent areworking together to lead thechild to success!
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Partnering = Positive Collaboration
Maintain relationships withparents through meaningfultwo-way communication.Provide progress reports
on a regular basis
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Have parents sign paperswith GOOD GRADES as well as
ones with not so goodgrades.
Compliment parents to other
people. Don’t hesitate to letstudents know that you thinkhighly of their parents.
Make it a habit to thank
parents for their supportwhenever you see them.
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Use SOCIAL MEDIA as a platformfor positive interaction
parentswith
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Partnering withParents =Strong Team
Families care about theirchildren.
Family members are equalpartners in a child’seducation.
The home environment isthe “primary” educationalenvironment.
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Partnering withParents Creates aCaring Community
Be sensitive andresponsive to the culturaland linguistic backgroundsof parents and families.
For many parents,involvement in theirchild’s education programis a new experience.
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Don’t set parents up to fail bygiving them complicated materials,complex instructions, and a heavy
schedule of nightly tutoring.
Begin with something simplethat is likely to be rewarding to
the parent and the child .
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All families have strengths; emphasizetheir assets.
Provide opportunities and support soparents can learn ways to help theirchildren.
Believe that schools and familiesinfluence each other.
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Sometimes parents will askquestions that you cannotanswer or request services youcannot provide.
The mark of a real professionalis knowing the limits of yourexpertise and when you need
help. It’s okay to say, “I don’tknow.” Parents will thinkmore highly of you.
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ParentConference,
are you prepared?
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Conferencescan be
stressful forEVERYONE!
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When you have concerns, let parents know!
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Dear Parent or Guardian ofThe purpose of this communication is to inform you that I am presently
experiencing some problems with . I would greatly appreciateyour cooperation in working with me in trying to take corrective measures toeliminate these problems.
The attitudes and habits listed below are important elements that have asignificant affect on the success of a classroom. I have checked the areasthat are making it difficult for your child to be successful and reach his/herpotential in my class:
AREAS OF CONCERNExcessive talking Disturbing others Lack of effortInattention Disrespectful of others Bad attitudeExcessive tardies Excessive absences Not prepared for classIncomplete or missing assignments Sleeps in classExcessive detention continued
…continued
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At this time has an average of .
If you have any questions, please contact me at school. Myplanning period is . If you would like a personalconference, please contact the counseling office forarrangements at XXX-XXXX. I appreciate your help in seeingthat is successful in .
Sincerely,
[Signature]
SUGGESTIONS FOR DOCUMENTING:
Keep accurate documentation ofall academic and behavioralproblems.
Use notebook with one pagedesignated for each student or a3x5 index card.
Provide specific, factual,observable data.
Keep folder with student work,copies of correspondence, notesof phone conversations.
,
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1Plan what you
2Find a phoneschool from
3Begin withpositive
4Describe theat a
want to say andwhatinformation theparent needs toknow.
concern, thenask for thewhich you can
make the callwith someprivacy.
statement.parent’s helpsolving theproblem.
in
Parent Phone Call
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Describe the behavior that necessitated the call.
Be very specific
“Kim laughed out loud at inappropriate momentssix times today and fell asleep after lunch”
NOT “I had a problem with Kim today.”
Describe the steps you have taken and give the
results of your actions. 43
Pay attention while theparent explains whats/he knows about thesituation.Listen carefully andclarify any points youdon’t understand.Never lose sight of thefact that you and theparent are workingtogether tosolve the problem.
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Have a plan in mind toresolve the problem/issuebefore you call.
Present your plan to theparent and discuss howtogether you and the parentcan work on thisissue/problem.
Agree on an effective courseof action and a follow-upcontact from you.Finish the call with a
positive statement.45
Before you move on to yournext task, document the
call so you have a recordthe conversation and
what each partyagreed to do.
of
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FACE TOFACE
CONFERENCE
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The All-Important Conference
Focus on the positives, as well as the areasfor improvement.
Your goal is to forge an alliance with theparents as your PARTNER.
Consider asking your mentor, a counselor, or amember of the administrative staff to be inattendence. Inform parents if additionalschool personnel will be present.
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BEFORE the conference:
Prepare your message. Have a clear purposefor the conference and an understanding ofthe outcome you would like.
Write down the points to cover.
Gather samples of student work (evidencesuch as progress reports, detention slips,referral forms, homework, quizzes, etc.)
Note student’s strengths as well as otherspecial information you want to present.49
Arrange for conference to beheld in a public place(counseling or mediacenter).
If conference is in yourroom, leave door open andmake sure other teachersare in the building.
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Create a comfortable seatingarrangement.your desk.
Don’t sit behind
Remain calm before, during,and after the conference; if youlose you cool, you gain nothing.
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DURING the conference:Begin promptly.
Express appreciation to parents for coming to theconference; establish a tone of good will and friendlycooperation.Use familiar terms, not jargon; avoid emotion-laden
statementsBegin with positive remarks about the child; convey
attitude that the child’s welfare is your primaryconcern.
Practice your very best manners. 52
Yournonverballanguage iscrucial forsuccess; befriendly andattentive.
State steps youhave taken tocorrect theproblem.
Be specific!Have
Stateproblems insimple, examples
student’sworkavailable.
offactual terms.
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BeStateBeState
Balance the “air time.”
While you have many importantpoints to make, allow parents to
have adequate time to speak aboutissues and to ask questions.
Only after parents have had achance to vent will they be willingto listen and work on a solution.
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End the conference by recapping thepoints you have covered.
Determine next steps.
Thank parents for their concern and takingtime to attend the conference.
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AFTER the Conference:
Follow through on youragreements.
Document the time, place,participants, and essence of the
conference for futurereference.
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RECAP OF IMPORTANT POINTS TO REMEMBER
Keep your cool.The student and his/her needs come first.Ask for parent suggestionsRemember the value of the “R”If possible, schedule conferences in public placeslike the Counseling Department, Media Center, ormain office. If conference is in your classroom,keep your door open.Whether or not some other school official isactually seated with you during the meeting,make sure other school personnel are nearby.
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RECAP OF WHAT TO AVOID:Discussing other teachers’ treatment of
the studentComparing the student to siblingsArguing with the parent or putting the parent
on the defensive.Attempting to psychoanalyze the student or
the parent.
Be objective, not subjective. 58
RECAP: The Power of the ‘R’Building Relationships with Parents
Contact every parent at the beginning of the schoolyear/semesterBe proactiveReach out immediately if a conflict occursSeek help from other school professionals to help withproblemReturn calls/emails promptlyUse caution in responding to negative e-mails.Don’t talk to parents when you are mad.
the
Document all interactionsNot addressed earlier, butaccept verbal abuse
with students and parentsrefuse to be intimidated or to
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Statewide Parent and FamilyEngagement Initiative
At Region 16 Education Service CenterFunded by Texas Education Agency
Terri Stafford:
Skip Forsyth:
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