Student Voice of Rock Canyon High School 5810 McArthur Ranch Road • Highlands Ranch, CO 80124 • 303.387.3000 Volume 6, Number 8 • April 15, 2010 You come to me with scars on your wrists You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this... The last night you’ll spend alone, I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go I’m everything you need to be. ”The Last Night” by Skillet Every time he hears this song, Kate’s* dad cries. He heard it for the first time the night before he sent his daughter to a teenage correctional facility for destructive behavior. It was second grade, and Kate would come home crying. Kate’s parents discovered she was emotionally unstable. She was diagnosed with ADD, which is rare for girls and oſten comes with other medical conditions such as depression. It was fiſth grade, Kate’s grandfather passed away, and a good friend turned her back on Kate. She submerged into her bad habits. Kate’s parents put her on depression medications, sent her to private counselors, and had her visiting the school counselors regularly. It was eighth grade and Kate got even worse. She became a target to kids she went to school with, and even let a substitute teacher call her a “douche bag.” Aſter being teased for a year by a boy in her class, Kate finally stood up to him. e next day the boy was killed in an accident, and Kate was devastated. Under all this pressure, Kate began to fight with her parents constantly, began to cut herself, and even made suicide threats. “Cuing wasn’t an aention thing, it was about the feeling you get when you do it and the kind of release you have when you do it,” Kate said. “It gives you an- other pain to focus on besides the pain in your mind.” She would take nail-clippers or tweezers to her forearms and hips, hiding her scars under freckles and clothes, or lying about them. “Acting out was the only way for me to say that some- thing’s wrong with me.” Her parents were doing everything they could to help, but nothing worked. e night her parents decided to send Kate away, Kate had come home crying, she looked at her parents and said, “I’m just not sure it’s worth it anymore.” For her parents, this was the breaking point. “For us, as parents, you feel like you should be able to fix everything,” said Kate’s mom, but they were running out of options. at Friday they boarded a plane to Utah with Kate to drop her off at a correctional facility. Her father bought three round trip tickets, forgeing they only needed two and a half. “[Arriving] was really hard because [my parents] walked me in and showed me around,” Kate said. “I could have been escorted, but my parents chose to take me. ey walked me in, and when it was time for them to go, the administration stood really close to me because they didn’t want me to freak out. I just had to watch my parents walk away and it was really hard because my parents were crying. I felt like I had failed them.” When her parents got home they faced harsh criti- cism from friends and family. ey were accused of giv- ing up on Kate. A family friend came over an told them that she “could never do that to her daughter.” e same weekend they leſt Kate they heard about a high school girl, who suffered from ADD and depres- sion, and was found hanging in her closet. “Realistically,” said Kate’s mother, “we knew what the alternative was for her aſter [hearing this]. “We knew [then], we had done the right thing. We at least still had our daughter, even though she was in Utah.” ey ended up meeting a lot of people going through the same situation with their children, but also found that many people in their position were in denial. ey were sure they did the right thing by listening to their daughter’s cries for help. “I couldn’t see [my parents] for the first three months because the program had levels,” Kate said. “ere’s three levels and for each level that you graduate to, you get more privileges. e first level you can’t wear makeup, you can’t do your hair, you cant wear any secu- lar clothing, you can’t listen to an iPod or anything; it has to be music from a boom box out in the hall and it has to be Christian music. It was a Christian place. “I made it to the second level. You get to have two pairs of secular clothing, but you could only wear it on Saturday or Sunday. You could style your hair with a blow dryer, and use a curling iron or flat iron. I got in trouble a few times because I broke the rules. When you get in trouble, you go on this thing called staff runs. You can’t talk, you have to sit on your bed all day and you go in the hall and do push ups [with all the other girls in the program]. “If more than one girl broke a rule and didn’t tell anybody about it, then we all went on the staff run. It was terrible because you had to ask if you could go to the bathroom and they would time your showers and stuff. It depended on what the person did, sometimes it would go on for a week, or sometimes a day. Sometimes they would put us on staff run to scare us and make someone fess up to something. One time, there’s tile in the hallway and there’s grout in between the tiles, they gave us all toothbrushes and we had to clean until it was time to eat. It took us hours.” Kate only got to see her parents three times over eight months, each time for less than a week, and only got one supervised ten minute phone call every urs- day. e girls she lived with became her family. As one of the youngest girls in the program, Kate saw the mistakes these girls had made. ey had problems ranging from anorexia, to cuing so deep they needed stitches, to a girl who was so addicted to substance abuse she would huff Lysol and drink Listerine. “I definitely didn’t like the program, but I definitely don’t regret it. If if didn’t go I have no idea were I would be today. Even as separated as it is from reality, you definitely see and feel a lot of reality just by talking to the girls. It’s different then seeing it on TV. When you feel it, its way more real. When I saw all that stuff and when I heard all those stories I was like ‘wow, I don’t want to be like that’ but unfortunately some people are. You can’t change people you can only change yourself.” Aſter eight months, Kate’s parents pulled her out of the program because of complications with the director, but Kate was ready to leave. “ey pulled me into a conference room and told me that my parents were on their way to come pick me up, and I just started crying because I was so happy that I finally got to go home.” Now at Rock Canyon, no one would ever guess that Kate went through this, but Kate will never forget. e program was a large part of her life, and changed her forever. As years go by, Katie thinks of cuing less and less, and gets along with her parents beer and beer. When Kate’s father tears up at “the Last Night” now, they are tears of pride as he watches his daughter smile. *Name has been changed to protect anonymity Emma Kate Fies The feeling of being alone •ToWrite Love On Her Arms: A non-profit organization that dedicates itself to helping individuals who are struggling with depression, addiction, and suicide. •Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance •National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: A toll free number for those with suicidal crises or emotional distresses. 1-800-273-talk (8255) •American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: The leading organization dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide. •Save:This organization is dedicated to expanding public awareness and education in regards to depression. •Yellow Ribbon: An organi- zation with an emphasis on community education.. •The International Founda- tion for Research and Education on Depression: This organization is dedi- cated to understand and support those undergoing depression worldwide. Compiled by Curtis Stuck Suicide is the second leading cause of teenage deaths in Colorado according to the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment. Below is the story of one girls struggle with depression, and her journey to a healthier lifestyle. For your info Organizations dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness photo-illustration by Alex Rowe and Drew Goodman. model: Quinn Kennedy‘13
Issue 8 page 1
Mar 30, 2016
Student Voice of Rock Canyon High School Organizations dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness 5810 McArthur Ranch Road • Highlands Ranch, CO 80124 • 303.387.3000 Volume 6, Number 8 • April 15, 2010 photo-illustrationbyAlexRoweandDrew Goodman.model:QuinnKennedy‘13
Welcome message from author
This document is posted to help you gain knowledge. Please leave a comment to let me know what you think about it! Share it to your friends and learn new things together.
Transcript
Student Voice of Rock Canyon High School5810 McArthur Ranch Road • Highlands Ranch, CO 80124 • 303.387.3000
Volume 6, Number 8 • April 15, 2010
You come to me with scars on your wristsYou tell me this will be the last night feeling like this...
The last night you’ll spend alone, I’ll wrap you in my arms and I won’t let go
I’m everything you need to be.”The Last Night” by Skillet
Every time he hears this song, Kate’s* dad cries. He heard it for the first time the night before he sent his daughter to a teenage correctional facility for destructive behavior.
It was second grade, and Kate would come home crying. Kate’s parents discovered she was emotionally unstable. She was diagnosed with ADD, which is rare for girls and often comes with other medical conditions such as depression.
It was fifth grade, Kate’s grandfather passed away, and a good friend turned her back on Kate. She submerged into her bad habits. Kate’s parents put her on depression medications, sent her to private counselors, and had her visiting the school counselors regularly.
It was eighth grade and Kate got even worse. She became a target to kids she went to school with, and even let a substitute teacher call her a “douche bag.” After being teased for a year by a boy in her class, Kate finally stood up to him. The next day the boy was killed in an accident, and Kate was devastated.
Under all this pressure, Kate began to fight with her parents constantly, began to cut herself, and even made suicide threats.
“Cutting wasn’t an attention thing, it was about the feeling you get when you do it and the kind of release you have when you do it,” Kate said. “It gives you an-other pain to focus on besides the pain in your mind.”
She would take nail-clippers or tweezers to her forearms and hips, hiding her scars under freckles and clothes, or lying about them.
“Acting out was the only way for me to say that some-thing’s wrong with me.”
Her parents were doing everything they could to help, but nothing worked.
The night her parents decided to send Kate away, Kate had come home crying, she looked at her parents and said, “I’m just not sure it’s worth it anymore.”
For her parents, this was the breaking point. “For us, as parents, you feel like you should be able to
fix everything,” said Kate’s mom, but they were running out of options. That Friday they boarded a plane to Utah
with Kate to drop her off at a correctional facility. Her father bought three round trip tickets, forgetting
they only needed two and a half. “[Arriving] was really hard because [my parents]
walked me in and showed me around,” Kate said. “I could have been escorted, but my parents chose to take me. They walked me in, and when it was time for them to go, the administration stood really close to me because they didn’t want me to freak out. I just had to watch my parents walk away and it was really hard because my parents were crying. I felt like I had failed them.”
When her parents got home they faced harsh criti-cism from friends and family. They were accused of giv-ing up on Kate. A family friend came over an told them that she “could never do that to her daughter.”
The same weekend they left Kate they heard about a high school girl, who suffered from ADD and depres-sion, and was found hanging in her closet.
“Realistically,” said Kate’s mother, “we knew what the alternative was for her after [hearing this].
“We knew [then], we had done the right thing. We at least still had our daughter, even though she was in Utah.”
They ended up meeting a lot of people going through the same situation with their children, but also found that many people in their position were in denial. They were sure they did the right thing by listening to their daughter’s cries for help.
“I couldn’t see [my parents] for the first three months because the program had levels,” Kate said. “There’s three levels and for each level that you graduate to, you get more privileges. The first level you can’t wear makeup, you can’t do your hair, you cant wear any secu-lar clothing, you can’t listen to an iPod or anything; it has to be music from a boom box out in the hall and it has to be Christian music. It was a Christian place.
“I made it to the second level. You get to have two pairs of secular clothing, but you could only wear it on Saturday or Sunday. You could style your hair with a blow dryer, and use a curling iron or flat iron. I got in trouble a few times because I broke the rules. When you get in trouble, you go on this thing called staff runs. You can’t talk, you have to sit on your bed all day and you go in the hall and do push ups [with all the other girls in the program].
“If more than one girl broke a rule and didn’t tell
anybody about it, then we all went on the staff run. It was terrible because you had to ask if you could go to the bathroom and they would time your showers and stuff. It depended on what the person did, sometimes it would go on for a week, or sometimes a day. Sometimes they would put us on staff run to scare us and make someone fess up to something. One time, there’s tile in the hallway and there’s grout in between the tiles, they gave us all toothbrushes and we had to clean until it was time to eat. It took us hours.”
Kate only got to see her parents three times over eight months, each time for less than a week, and only got one supervised ten minute phone call every Thurs-day. The girls she lived with became her family.
As one of the youngest girls in the program, Kate saw the mistakes these girls had made. They had problems ranging from anorexia, to cutting so deep they needed stitches, to a girl who was so addicted to substance abuse she would huff Lysol and drink Listerine.
“I definitely didn’t like the program, but I definitely don’t regret it. If if didn’t go I have no idea were I would be today. Even as separated as it is from reality, you definitely see and feel a lot of reality just by talking to the girls.
It’s different then seeing it on TV. When you feel it, its way more real. When I saw all that stuff and when I heard all those stories I was like ‘wow, I don’t want to be like that’ but unfortunately some people are. You can’t change people you can only change yourself.”
After eight months, Kate’s parents pulled her out of the program because of complications with the director, but Kate was ready to leave.
“They pulled me into a conference room and told me that my parents were on their way to come pick me up, and I just started crying because I was so happy that I finally got to go home.”
Now at Rock Canyon, no one would ever guess that Kate went through this, but Kate will never forget. The program was a large part of her life, and changed her forever.
As years go by, Katie thinks of cutting less and less, and gets along with her parents better and better.
When Kate’s father tears up at “the Last Night” now, they are tears of pride as he watches his daughter smile.
*Name has been changed to protect anonymityEmma Kate Fittes
The feeling of being alone
•ToWriteLoveOnHerArms:Anon-profitorganizationthatdedicatesitselftohelpingindividualswhoarestrugglingwithdepression,addiction,andsuicide.•DepressionandBipolarSupportAlliance•NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline:Atollfreenumberforthosewithsuicidalcrisesoremotionaldistresses.1-800-273-talk(8255)•AmericanFoundationforSuicidePrevention:Theleadingorganizationdedicatedtounderstandingandpreventingsuicide.•Save:Thisorganizationisdedicatedtoexpandingpublicawarenessandeducationinregardstodepression.•YellowRibbon:Anorgani-zationwithanemphasisoncommunityeducation..•TheInternationalFounda-tionforResearchandEducationonDepression:Thisorganizationisdedi-catedtounderstandandsupportthoseundergoingdepressionworldwide.CompiledbyCurtisStuck
Suicide is the second leading cause of teenage deaths in Colorado according to the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment. Below is the story of one girls struggle with depression, and her journey to a healthier lifestyle.
For your infoOrganizations dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness
photo-illustrationbyAlexRoweandDrewGoodman.model:QuinnKennedy‘13
Related Documents
