Issue 12 - November 23 2006

Getting people to walk to work is the penultimate solution to unclogging our urban roads and cleaning the air – rather, pedestrians are the single worst cause of traffic congestion and therefore, air pollution. Several times Iʼve been riding my bike along merrily, only to be halted abruptly because a car making a left or right turn has been stopped dead in its tracks by a pedestrian self-righteously sauntering across the road. Such people are likely thinking to themselves, “Look at me, Iʼm a do-good save the earth type, and this fellow in the car is a complete asshole. To hell with him if he chose to drive a car.” Here is a surprising, yet truthful thought for the sauntering masses – urban

roads would run smoother and quicker if you each got yourselves a nice big pickup truck. Buying that hunk of Detroit (or Yokohama) iron would, ironically, also be saving that environment you are so keen on helping out. Pedestrians have no clue just how much they are really hurting the environment. Traffic jams are a direct result of hordes of pedestrians slowly walking across intersections. Such peasant-like, herd mentality directed behaviour prevents right hand turners in each direction from turning and left hand turners from clearing the intersection; the result is traffic congestion. Cars that would normally go straight through are actually stuck behind their right and left turning brethren. Correspondingly, traffic idles away, creating fumes that would rival the stuffiest of cigar smoking clubs – just try to bike through such noxious clouds, or jaywalk across the mess that was made by lazy walkers. So, Mr. or Mrs.

Pedestrian: who is the asshole now? Idling cars are terribly inefficient and heavy polluters; and itʼs not just those Croesuses driving their luxury cars that are fouling the air – it is mostly those archaic, proletariat chariot, oil-burning type cars (i.e. cheap) that release most of the toxins.

But, pedestrians say assuredly, if everybody walked then there would be no traffic to be jammed, no idling to be done, no despots in Africa, the Middle East etc. True, but who is going to walk the thirty or so miles to work that theyʼve imposed on themselves to save on rent? Moreover, who is going to walk that distance when the Great White North imposes its icy curtain?

Is the logical conclusion to drive to work? Hardly. Get a bike and a parka for the winter. If everybody did that, not only would we all revel in the quiet roads, but also there would be no pollution, no despots in Africa, the Middle East etc.

still chill.”

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