Intimacy

CHAPTER 3: INTIMACYAlexandra Jaime

INTRODUCTION

“Young people are at the forefront of developing, using, reworking, and incorporating new media into their dating practices in ways that might be unknown, unfamiliar, and sometimes scary to adults” (Pg. 117).

HOW WAS THIS PROVEN?

Several interviews were taken place with teenagers (ages 14-19). Why teens?

“Teens have been the developers and shapers of contemporary youth dating culture” (Pg. 118). What this is insinuating is that of course teens would use the contemporary new media for finding this intimacy.

PREVIOUS RESEARCH

“Very little has been written about teens’contemporary romance and courtship practices.Researchers have directed their studies ofromantic relationships toward adults and focusedon teens’ sexual practices” (Pg.121).

Therefore, the interviews didn’t report too muchon teen’s sexual experiences. “We simply did nothear a plethora of stories about sex in ourinterviews, as youth tended to discuss dating,crushes, romance, and heart- break” (Pg.121).

HOW DOES THIS INTIMACY HAPPEN?

Youth use three main technologies:1) Mobile Phone2) Instant Messaging3) Social Network Sites

“Teens learn about dating, intimacy, and romance from their friends and social

circles” (Pg. 120).

My thoughts ~ When your “friends” andsocial life happens so much online, ofcourse intimacy will happen there as

well.

SO, WHAT IS INTIMACY?

Defined in the dictionary as: 1) Close familiarity or friendship; closeness 2) A private cozy atmosphere.

But is it really intimacy if you fight, love,breakup and get back together all for thepublic to see?

THE PUBLIC IS INVOLVED

“Social network site profiles are key venuesfor representations of intimacy, providing avariety of ways to signal the intensity of agiven relationship both through textual andvisual representations” (Pg. 120).

For example…

This image shows to everyone that there is intimacy between Mike and Kristen.

The 2 people who “liked” the relationship were in favor of it happening.

“Social network sites play an increasingly larger role as couples become solidified and become what some call Facebook official” (Pg. 123).

“Teens affirm and are expected to affirm their relationships online” (Pg. 130).

For example…

This image indicates to others (the publicthat there is a “bump in the road” in therelationship, or maybe a fight.

What does this say?

This shows how muchof an intimaterelationship is donethrough new media.

It allows “teens to proceed in a way that might feel less vulnerable than face-to-face communication” (Pg. 123).

PROS OF INTIMACY THROUGH MULTIPLE LINES OF COMMUNICATION

Follow up on casual meetings Meet new people (usually through mutual

friends) Get to know (or “research”) people before you

meet them due to the plethora of information given out

Intensifies relationships Get to portray yourself how you want to (ex:

flirtatious) “New media also are important tools for gay

teens who want to date, because the biggest obstacle to same-sex dating among sexual minority youth is the identification of potential partners” (Pg. 127).

Once in an intimate relationship…

“Being in a relationship increases expectations of availability and reciprocity, which has implications for how teens use new media” (Pg. 129).

Teens use media to constantly be “on” and that means if your intimate partner is

using new media, he or she should always be available to communicate

with you.

… continued

“Youth in relationships need to leave public messages for and post pictures of their significant others. Doing so sends messages to their significant others about their dedication and to their digital public about the nature of the relationship” (Pg. 132).

Once out of an intimate relationship…

“After a relationship ends, teens often inhabit the same, or overlapping,

networked publics. Frequently, members of a former couple can still

see each others’ profiles, see messages left by their ex–significant

other on shared Friends’ social network profiles, and receive automatic updates about their ex, should they retain him

or her as a Friend” (Pg. 136).

Is this a good thing?

My question is: Is it healthy to see so much about an ex’s life once broken up?

I personally think it can make it even harder to get over a relationship if you

are still apart of their “friends” on a social networking site.

You be the judge..

“Instead of communicating through oral conversations, or less directly through

hand- written notes or chains of friends, teens can passively

communicate through their online profiles and presence” (Pg. 138).

IS THIS ACTUALLY A CON IN DISGUISE?