Interrupting

Interrupting

Definition

• To break into, or between; to stop, or hinder by breaking in upon the course or progress of; to interfere with the current or motion of; to cause a temporary cessation of; as, to interrupt the remarks speaking.

Agreement Interrupt

• Agreement with the other person flatters them, boosting their sense of identity. When they see that you are on their side and are agreeing with them, they will more easily stop to accept their praise.

Example• Absolutely right! I couldn't agree more. And did

you also know that...• Thank goodness! I was afraid you were going to

say something else there. • Great idea. And what we could also include is...• I agree with your suggestion to start afresh and

would suggest we begin tomorrow, at 9am.

Disagreement Interrupt

• Interrupt with a disagreement of what they have said. Show that you disagree with them. Point out what is wrong about what they have said.

• It often helps to do so with reasonable emotion and force, showing that you are not just disagreeing for the sake of it.

Example• No, no, no! That is completely wrong. You

have the wrong end of the stick -- what really happened was...

• That could be wrong, you know. If you look at it this way...

• Hang on, I don't know who told you that but it is simply not true. What actually happened was...

Encouragement Interrupt

• Say something short that will keep them talking. Encouragement interrupts include:

• Exclamations that show your interest in what the other person is saying.

• Repeating a single word a short phrase that they have said. This may be voiced as a query.

• Asking a question. • Using non-words, such as 'uh-huh', 'mmm', etc.

Example

• Really! That's amazing.

• Mmm. When?

• Saturday?

Question Interrupt 

• Ask them a question, preferably a closed question

• Closed questions lead to short answers, which forces them to answer quickly, after which you can take over

Example

• Did Jennifer tell you to say that?

• When did you last see her?

• Sorry, you haven't yet told me when you saw Jennifer last -- was it yesterday? 

Permission Interrupt 

• Ask the other person if you can interrupt.

• When you ask permission you are showing consideration and politeness, which obliges the other to concede to your request.

Example

• Could I just say something here?

• That's a good point -- can I add another thought for you?

• You've made me think here -- can I comment?

Principles of Interrupting

• When to interrupt: So they let you in and listen.

• When not to interrupt: Sometimes it best to listen for a while.

• When to let others interrupt: Going the other way.

When to interrupt 

When they have completed what they have to say

• In practice, the person who is talking may well make their point and, as they are still holding the talking stick, will continue to elaborate.

• When you detect that they have made their key point, then start looking for a point to interrupt.

When they are slowing down

• A common signal that they are running out of things to say so that the person starts to slow down. It is as if they are encouraging you to run alongside so they can pass you the baton

When they pause

• Another signal you can use to interrupt on is when they pause for a moment. This may be when they are stopping to think what to say next or may be a deliberate offer to you to pick up on the conversation.

When to let others interrupt

When you have had a fair say• Conversation is a system of taking turns,

in which there are social rule that there should be some balance between speaking and listening.

• Do not over-stay your welcome or you will find that other people will switch off or treat the conversation as a competition

When you have sent a single message• A good way of talking is to make a single point at

a time, then let other people in to respond to your thoughts and add their own thinking to the mix because They may well also forget most of what you have said by the time they get to talk.

When they send signals

• When other people want to speak they will send you loud non-verbal signals to this effect, for example staring at you, leaning forward, mouth slightly open, starting to speak and so on.

When not to interrupt

When you think of something to say

• first pause to consider whether it is worth interrupting the other person. Secondly consider the notes below. If you can show respect listening until they are finished, perhaps they will also show respect to you.

When they are aroused

• When the other person is in an emotional or aroused state, they will be particularly keen to have their say. When you detect passion, it can be best to wait for them to blow themselves out.

When they have more power

• When the other person has significantly more power than you, for example if they are a senior manager, then it is generally best to let them finish, both because they will assume that they will be allowed to complete and also because they may use their power against you if you try to interrupt.

Thank you!