Interpersonal Communication Lecture_3. Objectives After completing this chapter, you should be able to: Define small talk, conversation, and conversational.

Interpersonal Communication

Lecture_3

Objectives

After completing this chapter, you should be able to:

•Define small talk, conversation, and conversational turn taking, being certain to enumerate the skills shared by good conversationalists

•Identify the five parts of a conversation

Interpersonal Communication © 2014 SAGE Publications, Inc.

Objectives continued

• Describe how cultural and gender differences influence feelings and perceptions of the nature and value of conversation

• Discuss how media and technology are helping to reinforce or change both the substance and nature of conversation

• Identify specific steps we can take to improve conversational skills


Conversational Contact

• Small talk – engaging in spontaneous conversation with another person; comes naturally to some people

• Conversations

– Establish interpersonal relationships

– To be effective, we must be comfortable speaking with others AND have a desire to share real-life experiences


Conversations - Defined• Relatively informal social interaction in which the

parties involved exchange the roles of sender and hearer collaboratively and spontaneously

• Participants determine timeframe

• Conversational rules reveal the behaviors we prefer and would like to prohibit in various social situations

• Reveals what we have learned about verbal and nonverbal messages


Structure of a Conversation

• Five stages in conversational structure:– Greeting

– Topic Priming

– Heart of Conversation

– Preliminary Processing

– Closing


Stage 1: Greeting

• Phatic Communication - message that opens conversation; enables people to interact

• Greeting is routine way to begin/initiate conversation

• Three categories (T.E. Murray):– Questions (how are you?)– Advertisements (My name is)– Compliments (I like your suit)


Greeting (cont.)

• Three types of openers (Chris Kleinke):– Cute/flippant (Is that really your hair)

– Innocuous (What do you think of the band)

– Direct (Since we are both eating alone, would you like to join me)

• Each approach relies on a question


Stage 2: Topic Priming

• Keep communication channels open, preview topic/focus of conversation

• Kinds of topics generally discussed:– Ourselves– The other person– Particular situation

• In this stage, we often ask either OPEN-ENDED or CLOSE-ENDED questions


Stage 3: Heart of Conversation

• Where we find FOCUS or GOAL of conversation

• Where we get to the ‘heart’ of the matter– Why we opened the conversation– Why we did our best to prepare for what comes

next

• How good we are at getting to this stage is related to conversational maintenance skills


Stage 4: Preliminary Processing

• Flip side of topic priming

• We consider the effect our conversation has had on those involved

• We may decide to adjust/alter our message, modify content

• Where we determine what we have learned

• If we do not like outcome of conversation, we may need to step back, retrace our ‘conversational steps’


Stage 5: The Closing

• Reverse of Greeting (Stage 1)

• Good closing serves 3 functions (Mark Knapp):– It lets other party know conversation is nearing end

and signals the impending inaccessibility of one party– It is supportive in tone and contains expressions of

appreciation for the conversation and the desire to renew contact

– It summarizes the main topics discussed

• We may merge stages or skip stages; our preference


Managing a Conversation

• Conversational Turn-Taking

– Turn maintaining

– Turn Yielding

– Signals


Managing a Conversation (cont.)– Turn maintaining

• Paralinguistic and kinesic cues• May involve “umm”, “uhh”, inhale breath, hand gesture

– Turn Yielding• Lets conversational partner know it is his/her time to

speak• Direct eye contact, drop pitch, nod

– Signals• Turn-requesting• Turn-denying• Backchannel Signal


Cooperation Principle

Conversations are most satisfying when the comments of the conversational partners are consistent with the conversation’s purpose

•Conversational Maxims:

–Quality Maxim

–Quantity Maxim

–Relevancy Maxim

–Manner Maxim


Dialogue PrincipleMonologue Dialogue

We speak while others listen We both speak and listen

Involves little, if any, conversational ‘ebb and flow’

Exhibit concern for each other

No interactivity Exhibit concern for relationship

Minimal concern for thoughts/feelings of other person

Conversationalist display respect for one another

Self-centered, spends much time talking about self

Acceptable manner, invite others to actively participate in conversation

Popular communication style on such sites as FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Empathize with others, become other-oriented


Repairing Conversational Damage

• Often, we say something that is objectionable or unacceptable, resulting in a ‘conversational blunder’ or ‘prejudiced talk’

• Repair damage in two ways:– Offer excuse– Offer disclaimer

• To avoid blunders:– Engage in dual perspective talking– Emphasize feelings and similarities


Cultural Differences• Cultural differences will affect how we have a

conversation.– Our reasons for having a conversation vary– Word choice will vary– Length will vary– Value of conversation and who is speaking varies– Feelings about ‘turn-taking’ vary

• The extent to which we understand differences we increase our chances of facilitating effective conversations


Gender DifferencesMen Women

Preference for organized activities and interacting in groups

Preference for talk and engaging in one-on-one, person-to-person communication

Conversations achieve and maintain upper hand, protect themselves from situations where one may try to put them down (Tannen)

Conversations are negotiations for closeness, seeking confirmation, support, and consensus; Women try to protect themselves from others’ attempts to push them away (Tannen)

Interruptions occur, but for different reasons, during conversation.

Reasons include power play, opportunity to exercise control, encouragement, and reinforcement


Media

• On radio and TV, our conversations have ‘coarsened’

• Participants now show incivility, destructive behavior

• They verbally attack and interrupt one another

• The media shows a multitude of negative models of conversation for listeners and viewers to emulate when interacting


Technology

• Increased opportunities to converse with virtually anyone; more apt to be blunt, if not cruel

• Twitter, texting, Facebook is the norm; talking on phone or face to face is passé

• It has become acceptable to interrupt ‘real-world’ conversations to answer a cell phone or reply to a text

• When conversing online, we may not have full knowledge of who we are speaking with


Technology (cont.)

• Multi-tasking is commonplace – this has advantages and disadvantages, especially for teenagers

• Blog (web-log) has taken place of personal diaries and journals

• Cyberspace conversation seems to ‘end’ - - there is often not a ‘closing’


Gaining Communication Competence

• Develop metaconversational abilities

• Develop awareness of how culture and gender difference affect conversation

• Strive to improve conversation initiation, management, and termination abilities


Homework due to 23nd of March

• 16th of March: No lecture

• During the students congress develop a conversation with one of the international students by applying

- Five stages in conversational structure

• Write down the student’s name and country– Greeting

– Topic Priming

– Heart of Conversation

– Preliminary Processing

– Closing

Describe how cultural differences influence feelings and perceptions of the nature and value of conversation

Interpersonal Communication Lecture_3. Objectives After completing this chapter, you should be able to: Define small talk, conversation, and conversational.

Documents

sage publications

nature of conversation

spontaneous conversation

begininitiate conversation

value of conversation

goal of conversation

interpersonal relationships

communication channels