INTERPERSONAL AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS- C.5

© 2006 Universiti Tun Abdul Razak (UNITAR)

Interpersonal Communication and Self


Definition : Identify the definition of self

• Who are you?? Try to describe yourself and you will end up with so many descriptions..

• You may say that all this characteristics represent yourself and if one of these characteristics is omitted, you may not feel your normal self..


Mead’s definition of self :• “ the ability to take oneself as an object

and the self has the peculiar to be both subject and object”

• object subject

• Example : describing oneself as good-looking or a “book worm”.

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Mead’s definition of self

• Self is presumed as a social process.• The development of self, can be enriched

through an exposure to social activities as well as social relationships.

• Furthermore, according to Mead, the self is very much related to the mind in which “the body is not a self and becomes a self only when a mind is developed”.


Mead’s definition of self

• The description you make about yourself actually reflect the real you.

• For example : if you think that you are a smart person, you will behave and act accordingly to ensure that your attitude fits that description.


The self can be divided into 3 dimensions which are :

• Material Self

• Social Self

• Spiritual Self


Material Self• Refers to the physical elements that reflect who you are.• These physical elements should reflect who you are in material terms, which are tangible.

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Material Self• Thus, your ‘self’ is judged on the way

you dress, the kind of cloths you wear, the car you drive and the type of home you prefer or own


Social Self• The social self is portrayed in the

interaction with others that reflect who you are.

• As the self is reflected through interactions with other people, you will have a variety of ‘selves’ that will respond accordingly to changes in current situation and roles.


Social Self• For instance, the social self is reflected

when you interact with your lectures in a formal way while you interact informally with close friends or course mate.

Formal Informal


Spiritual Self• The spiritual self

refers to your reflection

on values, belief, and

moral attitude.


Spiritual Self• Different from the material and social

selves, the spiritual self involve introspection about values, belief, and moral or attitude.


Spiritual Self• If we analyze the

spiritual self future,

the ‘values’ refer to

“enduring concept of

good and bad, right

and wrong”.


Spiritual Self• The values which we have in us are the

values, which come from our “earliest interpersonal relationship; for almost all of us, our parent shape our values” (Beebe,1999)


Spiritual Self• On the other hand, “belief” in the definition of

the spiritual self refers to “the way in which you structure your understanding of reality; that is true and what is false” (Beebe,1999)

• Meanwhile ‘morals’ or ‘attitudes’ are a “learned predisposition to respond to a person, object, or idea in a favorable or unfavorable way”(Beebe,1999)


Spiritual Self• For example, there are certain things or a

particular that you do not like in class and there are some things or people that you like to work with.

• In general, the spiritual self includes the concept of values, belief, and morals or attitude, which can be demonstrate in your belief or disbelief in the existence of god, to name an example.


Morals or Attitudes

Beliefs

Values

Values are central to our behavior and concept of self. In addition, values are the foundation of our beliefs. Values can be most difficult to change.

Morals or attitudes are at outer edge of the circle because they are most likely to change (Beebe et. al, page 39, 1999).

A FIGURE OF VALUES, BELIEF, AND MORALS OR ATTITUDES IN RELATION TO SELF


CONCLUSION

The self is an extremely important concept as it reflects how we view ourselves as individuals. It is even more important considering we live in a community, where we have to constantly interact and communicate with others. Our material, social and spiritual selves strongly affect our behaviors and eventually influence our communication with others and how others perceive us.


SELF-CONCEPT



WHAT IT SELF CONCEPT?

Self-concept is your view of yourself as a person. It is derived from how we view ourselves in particular situations and as a member of various groups. (Gudykunst, 1994).

On the same line, DeVito (1998) explains that self-concept consists of our feelings and thoughts about our strenghts, weaknesses, abilities and limitations.


WHY THE NEED TO UNDERSTAND SELF-CONCEPT?

In communication, our self-conceptions influence the way we communicate with others and also the people with whom we choose (consciously of unconsciously) to form relationships.


4 MAIN SOURCES:

Other’s images - the perceptions of others that have been revealed to you.

Social comparison - the comparisons you make between yourself and others.

Cultural teachings - the teachings of your culture.

Interpretations and evaluations - the way you interpret and evaluate your own thoughts and behavior.

This figure depicts the four sources of self-

concept : Other’s Images Social Comparisons Cultural Teachings Interpretations and

evaluations


• ‘Other’s images’• Is the first source of self-

concept that explains how other people see you as a person.

• The images or behaviors that you present are the perceptions of others of you and not your own thoughts.


• ‘Social comparisons’• Is defined as how you see

yourself in comparison to other such as your peers.

• For instance, you can tell the level of your English language when you compare your English exam scores with your classmate.


• Cultural teachings’• Cultural teachings here include

the teachings of the people around you such as your parents, you your lecturers, or the media, which mould your attitude, values, and beliefs.

• Whether you have a negative self-concept, it would have been greatly influenced by your cultural teachings.


• For instance, if it is considered

a norm in your culture that women

should get married by the age of

25 and if you fail to do so, your

culture will, then, contribute to

your negative self-concept.• This is because you will probably

be perceived negatively for not

following the norm.



• In contrast, if you have achieved things regarded as “ a success” in your culture, you will certainly develop a positive self-

concept, as you feel good that you can comply with your culture’s norms and perceptions• For instance, if a Muslim child completes reading the Quran before the age of ten, it is considered a success in the Islamic culture and this will develop a positive self-concept in the child

• ‘Interpretations and evaluations’

• It is actually how you evaluate and interpret your own feelings and behaviors.

• Different from the other sources of self-concept, this particular source involves how you react to, interpret, and evaluate your own self.

• From your very own reaction, interpretations, and evaluations of your actions, you can finally from your own self-concept.


ConclusionWe can say that self-concept is vital to our development as a human being especially when it involves interactions and communications with other people in relation to our own culture or organization.


SELF IMAGE AND SELF IDENTITY: The concept of self-image can be defined as the

image of yourself from other people's point of view and your point of view, while the concept of self-identity is the attitudes and the overall identity of you as a person

: The concept of self-image and self-identity is inter-related as the development of the self-image leads to the development of the self-identity. For instance, if Mr X, has a positive self-image it will lead to the development of a positive and strong self-identity of Mr. X.

SELF-ESTEEM @ SELF-WORTH

Your evaluation of your worth or value based on your perception of such things as your skills, ability, talents and appearance.

How to develop a strong self identity:: Need to have your perceived self-

worth, which is the value you place on yourself.

: You also need to look at yourself from other people's viewpoints. How do people see you?

: It will be more significant if you look at those people, who are important to you such as your parents, your brothers and sisters, or your superior.

SELF IDENTITY

SELF CONCEPT AND COMMUNICATION STYLE: In communication, your self-concept filters

the information that you receive in your interactions with other people. This will determine your approach and response to as well as interpretation of messages.

: Therefore, your self-concept also influences your ability to be sensitive to others, self- fulfilling prophecies, interpretation of messages, and communication style.

: Self-concept that shape our habits, beliefs, attitudes, morals as well as communication.

COMMUNICATION STYLES THAT ARE RELATED TO SELF

>ANALYTICALS >DRIVERS >EXPRESSIVES >AMIABLES

ANALYTICALS> This kind of people tends to be highly task-

oriented and focused on the job to be done rather than on relationships.

> They also like structures and systems and their homes or offices are highly organized.

> They like to accomplish their tasks by themselves rather than working with other people.

DRIVERS> This means that this kind of people is

highly task-oriented, more likely to control their emotions, and efficiency-striven.

> They can also be aloof, cool, and abrupt.

> They like to have barriers when communicating so they prefer to sit across you with a table in between.

EXPRESSIVERS> Expressive can be full with emotions

and impulsions though they often feel the need to control relationships.

> They also want to get the job done but they will do it in a more emotional way.

> Expressive may face more challenge trying to balance their work and look after the feelings of others.

AMIABLES> They are more concerned about

relationships than work. > There is a need for them to fulfill other

people's social needs. > In their offices, they will prefer to sit in

a round table side by side with you. > Amiables will ensure that you are

comfortable and feel welcomed when talking to them.

INTERPERSONAL AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS- C.5

Spiritual

concept of self

self concept

normal self

development of self

spiritual self future

concept of values

spiritual selves

values beebe