CHAPTER III INTERFAITH MARRIAGE ACTORS IN NEW SOROWAJAN HAMLET A. Monograph of New Sorowajan Hamlet, Village Banguntapan 1. Geographical Position and Condition New Sorowajan hamlet is one of many hamlets in Village Banguntapan, Banguntapan District, Bantul Regency, Yogyakarta. New Sorowajan has georaphically wide as 86,4 Ha of 814,3 Ha of the wide from the entire village. 1 No data shows geographical position of the village and the hamlet. Village Banguntapan consists of 11 (eleven) hamlet and New Sorowajan is one of the most important hamlet in the village due to its potency. The other hamlet are as follow: 2 a. Tegaltandan Hamlet b. Jaranan Hamlet c. Jomblangan Hamlet d. Wonocatur Hamlet e. Karang Jambe Hamlet f. Karang Bendo Hamlet g. Plumbon Hamlet 1 Obtained from the newest data i.e. “Potensi Desa Banguntapan 2007” and “Tingkat Perkembangan Desa Banguntapan 2007.” 2 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall. 48
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CHAPTER III
INTERFAITH MARRIAGE ACTORS
IN NEW SOROWAJAN HAMLET
A. Monograph of New Sorowajan Hamlet, Village Banguntapan
1. Geographical Position and Condition
New Sorowajan hamlet is one of many hamlets in Village
Banguntapan, Banguntapan District, Bantul Regency, Yogyakarta. New
Sorowajan has georaphically wide as 86,4 Ha of 814,3 Ha of the wide
from the entire village.1 No data shows geographical position of the
village and the hamlet.
Village Banguntapan consists of 11 (eleven) hamlet and New
Sorowajan is one of the most important hamlet in the village due to its
potency. The other hamlet are as follow:2
a. Tegaltandan Hamlet
b. Jaranan Hamlet
c. Jomblangan Hamlet
d. Wonocatur Hamlet
e. Karang Jambe Hamlet
f. Karang Bendo Hamlet
g. Plumbon Hamlet
1 Obtained from the newest data i.e. “Potensi Desa Banguntapan 2007” and “Tingkat
Perkembangan Desa Banguntapan 2007.”
2 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.
48
49
h. Pelemwulung Hamlet
i. Pringgolayan Hamlet
j. Modalan Hamlet
New Sorowajan Hamlet consists of 20 RT (Classification of
Households) and also has strategic position due to the line bordered with
two regencies and quite close with the capital province, the detailed is as
follows:3
The borders of the hamlet:
a. North : Karang Bendo Hamlet
b. South : Plumbon Hamlet
c. East : Karang Jambe Hamlet
d. Southeast : City of Yogyakarta
e. West : Gendeng, Sleman Regency
The administrative distance between The Hamlet Hall and the capital:4
a. From the Hamlet Hall : 1 Kilometer
b. From the District Office : 4 Kilometers
c. From the Regency Office : 13 Kilometers
d. From the Province Office : 7 Kilometers
Of the explanation, we catch that mobility of the resident is
supported by the hamlet position which is nearby from any capitals, so
that the information stream is tremendously fast. Additionally the hamlet
3 The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October
27, 2010
4 Monograph data of 2008 in Banguntapan Municipal Hall.
50
is also often visited by the local and foreign tourists, thus it causes rapidly
cross culture and contact with the other customs.
2. Demography
New Sorowajan hamlet is inhabited by 2.653 residents consist of
703 KK (Family Head), while for more detailed population, it can be
viewed at the table as follow: 5
Table 1: The population according to each RT and sex type/gender
RT
AMOUNT OF KK MALE FEMALE AMOUNT
01
41 77 83 160
02
16 32 29 61
03
42 76 75 151
04
56 81 94 175
05
51 95 78 173
06
26 52 51 103
07
24 48 52 100
08
64 115 146 261
09
21 43 46 89
10
25 50 52 102
11
26 55 47 102
12
36 66 68 134
13
41 84 69 153
14
32 55 58 113
5 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s documents
51
15
58 116 119 235
16
26 42 42 84
17
32 55 64 119
18
46 63 32 145
19
26 51 52 103
20
20 54 36 90
TOTAL
703 1.310 1.343 2653
Table 2: Ethnic6
NO
ETHNIC GROUP AMOUNT
1
China 5
2
England 1
3. Education, Economic, and Religiousness Condition
Almost all residents in New Sorowajan Hamlet experience the
bench of school and education ever, for sure beside small children which
do not reach the age of school. The data show the quality of Human
Resourch in the Hamlet and also show that the rapid spreading and
distributing information and knowledge are something possible, so that
it‟s ethereal to find the illiterate resident all over the Hamlet. For more
detailed, we can look at two tables below:7
6 The result of interview with Head of Hamlet, Sularto, B.Sc at Wednesday, October
27, 2010
7 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents
52
Table 3: The population according to the age of schooling
NO
AGE OF SCHOOLING AMOUNT
1
0-6 629
2
7-12 311
3
13-15
204
4
16-18 216
5
19-upwards 1.293
TOTAL
2.653
Table 4: The population according to the general education level
NO
GRADUATING SCHOOL AMOUNT
1
Pre School 629
2
Elementary School/Equivalent 311
3
Junior High School/Equivalent
204
4
Senior High School/Equivalent 216
5
Diploma 1 49
6
Diploma 2
67
7
Diploma 3
83
8
Undergraduate/Strata 1
109
9
Master/Strata 2
15
10
Doctoral/Strata 3
6
Of the economic condition, the residents are on average in low to
middle class economy. There are only two RT on average in middle to
53
high class economy, namely: RT 16 and 18. On average, livelihood of the
residents is working as trader and laborer, then employee, craftsman, and
farmer are on its sequence. The detailed is as follow:
Table 5: The population according to groups occupation8
NO
OCCUPATION AMOUNT
1
Unemployment, Student, Pensioner 1.011
2
Farmer 67
3
Laborer of Farmer
86
4
Private Laborer 389
5
Civilian Government Worker (PNS) 449
6
Craftsman
110
7
Trader
397
8
Cattleman
20
9
Mechanic
9
10
Doctor
5
11
Others 110
TOTAL
2.653
In New Sorowajan Hamlet, religious condition becomes the most
important matter to explain in this subchapter, because of its touch with
the main problem formulation about interfaith marriage. Majority of
residents are Muslim (embrache Islamic religion), then followed by
Hindu, Catholic, Christian, and Buddhist. But note that the religious
8 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents
54
followers are spreading equally, beside Islam followers of course,
especially Hindu and Catholic followers. It means that the possibility of
interfaith concatc especially in cultural matters and private problems i.e
socializing with the opposite sex and marriage, is not impossible. The
detailed is as follow:
Table 6: The population according to religious affiliations 9
NO
RELIGION AMOUNT
1
Islam 1.870
2
Christian/Protestant 86
3
Catholic
346
4
Hindu
351
5
Buddhist
9
TOTAL
2.653
There are few worship facilities for inhabitants in order to devote,
pray, have socialization, meet together, hold a meeting, read the holy
books etc. Although not each religion has the tabernacle or place of
worship in the hamlet, but it can be surmounted easily, because it can be
found in other Hamlet (such as in Plumbon Hamlet), other regency
(Sleman) and city of Yogyakarta nerby the Hamlet, based on its position
strategically. The detailed is as follows:
9 New Sorowajan Hamlet‟s Documents
55
Table 7: Worship facility10
NO
PLACE OF WORSHIP AMOUNT
1
Mosque 4
2
Musholla (Small Mosque) 1
3
Church
-
4
Wihara
-
5
Pura
-
B. The Life of Interfaith Marriage Actors
Interfaith marriage means marriage between Islam‟s embracers and
other religion, not among other religions outside Islam. Ordinarily, people of
New Sorowajan Hamlet profess egalitarian-cooperation basis and do not
distinguish the components grounded on race, ethnic, and religion, but
sometime the people consider that wealth and having position are the measure
to behold and place a person. Idea of the wealthy and the positioned men
become more meaningful than the opposites,11
likewise the family of
interfaith marriage actors in New Sorowajan Hamlet, interfaith marriage
actors also socialize well.
Islam and Catholic dominate interfaith spouses in this hamlet, even
though the latter population nearly equals with the Hindu‟s embracers. As
being explained before in Chapter I, I take five spouses/families of interfaith
10 Interview with the head of New Sorowajan Hamlet, October 27, 2010
11 Interview with the head of Village Banguntapan, at Tuesday, October 26, 2010 and
with Fredy Andi Yuniardi (Mosque Youth Corps) at Saturday, October 23, 2010
56
marriage that they are perceived to be representative of other spouses in the
hamlet, the goal is to view their life, reasons in marriage, and other aspects to
analyze further in Chapter IV. Five spouses‟ identity are as follow:
Table 8: Sample of Interfaith Marriage Family in New Sorowajan Hamlet
RELATION
RELIGION AGE CHILD GRANDCHILD
1
Jagranata
Hindu 59 6 2
Mrs. Jagra
Islam 56
2
Tarmaji
Catholic 40 2 -
Tumirah
Islam 40
3
Beni
Catholic 64 4 6
Mrs. Beni
Islam 61
4
Sukisno
Catholic 39 2 -
Rosydi
Islam 32
5
Sutarto
Islam 32 1 -
Mila Kristin
Catholic 27
Interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet do realize that they are
improbable to live alone with no cooperation to other components and
assistance. Their life in the family and among people seems fine, moreover
they feel that their family‟s life is better and more peaceful than a same
religion‟s spouse. Not only their daily life, but also their private affairs i.e
worship and rights as husband-wife as well as public affairs i.e education,
religious activity, social work, mosque youth corps etc. seems normal like
another. But as human being and household, they have generally experienced
disagreement, intolerant and other obstacles with the mate, even they must be
57
more patient and forceful and need struggle and determination bigger than
another to reach harmony and eternity in marriage.12
More detailed, the following will explain briefly the life of five
interfaith families that they are representated as sample:
1. Jagranata and Jagra (she refused to mention her original name)
This spouse has been interlacing household for about four decades.
They did not recognize the divorce. Mrs. Jagra narrated that her
background‟s life is quite different from her husband, but the difference
did not be a barrier to make relationship to marriage stage. She is
originally from Java who did not follow Islamic rituals strictly (abangan)
and became influenced by Javanese traditions (kejawen), so that her family
accepted and gave option to select her mate/husband, Meanwhile, her
husband, Jagranata is originally from thick family of Hindu-Bali. His
family and religion obligated him to marry a Hindu or Bali‟s woman at
least if he wished to be accepted among the components. The most
important thing is agreement in mutual respect and honor on religious
matters declared in pre married. It‟s their successful key to maintain the
marriage.
In the daily life, every single component of the family is given a
right to go through the life either in private or public affairs. The principal
12 Interview with Ir. Hertanto, one of Ta’mir administrators at Baitul Arqom mosque
at Saturday October 23, 2010.
58
of this family is wisely mutual understanding to the variety and diversity in
life.13
2. Tarmaji and Tumirah
This family constantly realizes the importance of establishing
religious education for their children. They apply a form of tolerance to the
mate based on respectability and mutual honor as well as caution to be
devout and saying „congratulation‟ when religious celebration came.14
3. Beni and Mrs. Beni (she refused to mention her original name)
If we observe considerably, we get that to marry person that has
different faith doesn‟t invariably impact to the wealth, moreover this
family seems mediocre or I can categorize it to insufficiency, their home is
same as people of rural area. It‟s probably because the life in a village is
multi-mediocre.
Unfortunately, their religious life is going down even left behind at
all, they seem barely to worship. It really influences pattern of family for
children‟s education. The parent is less interested in children‟s religious
teaching and ignoring them to make their own choice, so that they are
permitted whether they want to go to mosque or church. The main problem
of this family is their pattern of life is out of religion.15
13 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
14 Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010
15 Interview with Mrs. Beni at Sunday, October 24, 2010
59
4. Sukisno and Rosydi
Despite this family is built on difference of religion, but there is no
serious problem appears on the surface. It‟s apart problem, because the
core problem precisely happens inside.
Of many respondents I‟ve interviewed, I got that this family is the
only spouse inclines to be broken down and the actor admits that
difference of religion in the life is the core problem.16
5. Sutarto and Mila Kristin
This family has early experienced a traumatic life in the beginning
of the marriage. Their marriage was established as the result of an
accident, because wife candidate (wife currently) was being pregnant
before marriage establishment. Indeed I did not ask this matter directly to
them because of the politeness manners, but people around gave supported
information as same as the rumors that the fact of being pregnant before
marriage was a truth, so that they were forced to get married although their
faith and belief were different.17
C. The Reasons of Interfaith Marriage Actors
Based on observation and interview toward sample of five interfaith
marriage‟s families, I get some reasons why the actors decided and
solemnized/forced to get marriage. Almost the family of interfaith marriage
actors is educated or having an education, so that they have rational reasons
16 Interview with Rosydi at Thursday, October 21, 2010
17 Interview with Sutarto at Saturday, October 23, 2010
60
in the decision. Of respondents‟ information, then I make a general fact to
produce the representative reasons of interfaith marriage actors in this hamlet.
The following is the detailed:
1. Love and affection
They differentiate both of these, they stated that love is tending to
sexual desire but affection is natural emotion tending to prize and
cherish. Love and affection are their strongest reason, without these
reasons they should not be brave to break through the borders and
barriers. The feeling is also supported by comparability between a spouse
and blessing from their parents.18
2. Quality of human, not just the religion
The actors realize that their religious understanding is far away
from enough because of family and surroundings‟ factor. But for them,
religion is different thing and marriage is also, they distinguish between
relationship with mankind (h{abl min an-na>s) and with the God (h{abl min
Alla>h). They view the human completely of many aspects: ethics,
character, and personality. They think that religion/faith is not
determined thing in forming attitude. They also realize in heart that their
each religion is the most true religion.19
3. Suggestion from an Islamic scholar (Kyai)
Having a consultation with an Islamic scholar (Kyai) and Islamic
lecturer, they got that their marriage is actually permissible. They think
18 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
19 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
61
that prohibition of a marriage between Muslim woman and non Muslim
man is because the women are worried to follow husband‟s religion and
the worship will be bothered as the result of husband‟s domination and
women‟s weak belief. So that, if women‟s belief is factually forceful and
they are not under husband control, thus their marriage will be
permissible.20
4. Being pregnant
The woman is being pregnant, so that the spouse is solemnized and
forced to get married as soon as possible.21
5. Discrimination and violation towards basic human rights
Some of them consider that it will be a discrimination as citizen
and a violation to human rights if their marriage doesn‟t be permitted.22
6. All religions are similar
Some of them consider that all of religious types are actually same.
No religion teachs badness, wickedness, and corruption. Everything
depends on personality of the pair, not whether the religion is followed.
They also give an example that a lot of spouses built on similarity of
religion, but afterwards the wife/husband becomes dishonest, immoral,
and corrupt, so that the religion is not a guarantee.23
20 Interview with Mrs. Jagra at Tuesday, October 26, 2010
21 Interview with Sukarmi (ustaz{ah, neighbor of Sutarto-Mila Kristin) at
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
22 Interview with Tumirah at Wednesday, October 20, 2010
23 Interview with Rosydi at Friday, October 22, 2010
62
7. Family is everything
If all components of the family approve, thus the other things will
not be a matter.24
D. Procedures Used by Interfaith Marriage Actors
1. Marriage Preparation
Marriage procedures are administrative matters; validity before the
law, marriage legality, as well as marriage and children status. So that,
even though registering marriage is fundamental and very important thing,
but it could be manipulated and counterfeited easily, it means that the data
could be possibly dissimilar with the real fact.
On preparation stage, interfaith marriage actors have to pass
through two phases: firstly, they inventoried problems that would be faced
further and estimated whether their parent‟s objectives would be
communicated. Secondly, they prepared mentality to meet all possibilities,
then they ventured to communicate their wish to marry a person whom his
religion was different. Several conditions below must be prepared on
interfaith marriage:25
Applicable to spouse of Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra, they have to
prepare the marriage in a procession, namely Hindu‟s marriage ceremony .
They must provide anything needed in the ceremony such as ritual
offering.
24 Interview with Mrs. Beni at Thursday, October 21, 2010
25 The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors
63
For spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-Rosydi, they prepared
only a marriage procession, namely Islamic ritual. As generally Muslims,
they prepared guardian, dowry, witnesses and naib (substitute, as the
marriage registrar), it‟s aimed to obtain marriage certificate in to be
legitimated by the Indonesian law.
For spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin, they accomplished the
marriage in Catholic procession, thus they have to prepare anything
needed as generally Catholic ceremony.
For spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah, the marriage preparation became
more complicated than the previous spouses, because they wished to get
married in both religious processions: Islam with ija>b-qabu>l and Catholic
with sacrament.
2. Accomplishing Marriage
The interfaith marriage in New Sorowajan Hamlet was
accomplished in four types of procession:26
1. Hindu‟s marriage ceremony
It‟s accomplished by spouse Jagranata and Mrs. Jagra in
offering ceremony and Bali‟s customs. Before registration at Civil
Registration Office (KCS), as stated, they purposefully renewed
Citizen Identity Card (KTP) by changing wife‟s religious status to be
Hindu, it‟s aimed to be allowed in registration. When the requirements
were completed, thus the marriage accomplished.
26 The conslusion within interview with five interfaith marriage actors, the officials
of two offices.
64
2. Islamic Ritual
It‟s accomplished by spouse Beni-Mrs. Beni and Sukisno-
Rosydi. Before marriage procession, an official of marriage
registration from Religious Affairs Office (KUA) inspected the
requirements. Admission of the actors, they also changed religious
status on KTP to be Islam, because the official of KUA was not going
to register and give marriage certificate if the spouse‟s religion was
different. Afterwards, when the requirements was completed thus ijab-
qabul established as commonly Muslims.
3. Catholic Procession
It‟s accomplished by spouse Sutarto and Mila Kristin. In this
procession, the actors have not to change religious status on KTP, they
merely have to promise to keep in faith and agree to teach offspring in
Catholic manners. Before the sacrament, all of husbands and wives
candidate have to to be baptized as the sign of soul purifying from any
lifelong sin. Then, in sacrament, benediction and invocation were sent
up for both bride and groom to obtain Allah‟s eternal affection. After
marriage, both of them ran Catholic‟s teachings.
4. Both Islam and Catholic
It‟s accomplished by spouse Tarmaji and Tumirah. First of two
processions, they run ija>b-qabu>l in KCS, it could not be conducted in
KUA because each bride and groom were consistent of own religious
status, but religious official was constantly attended to witness that the
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marriage between them was conducted. After being inspecting the
requirements, the official announced register of the marriage in
determined office. Then the marriage conducted before official of
marriage registration and being witnessed by two witnesses.
After the accomplishing, both of bride and groom sign
marriage certificate, then two witnesses, the official, and guardian
thereafter. With the signatures, the marriage was officially registered.
Then the official duplicated the certificate, one was sent to KCS and
another was sent to the court that its authority surrounded district of the
office. Thereafter the certificate was given to each husband and wife,
unfortunately the certificate was dissimilar with common marriage
certificate, because there was no quotations as written down on the
commonly certificate.
After being accomplishing in KCS, the marriage has to be
conducted for the second in church. The church officer did not give a
marriage book/certificate because the previous certificate from KCS
was considered legally. The church merely made a document showed
that both bride and groom have been conducting sacrament and
baptism for marriage in the church.
Of the explanation above, the temporary conclusion can be
appeared that conducting interfaith marriage in this hamlet was quite easy,
even though the office (KUA and KCS) did not allow interfaith marriage,
but it could be happened if the interfaith marriage actors did not change
66
the religious status on KTP. Why the office allowed and permitted by
changing the status is truly something reasonable. Because religious matter
is a private thing and interfaith marriage that has been spread out
particularly in the hamlet and generally in Indonesia.
E. The Impacts of Interfaith Marriage Within Actors’ Family and The
Society
Of many respondents interviewed and after being learned the
interfaith marriage actors‟ life especially from five spouses as the sample, I
discover that because of the solemnizing/compultion of interfaith marriage, it
caused serious impacts unless interfaith marriage actors ignored. It would be
negative or positive impacts, the following is the negative impacts:
1. Children status and pretense in religion
Forgery of data which is a changing religious status on KTP,
caused an obligatory for their children to follow their status of religion. It
happens to Jagranata, Beni, and Sukisno‟s family. But the reality is all of
Jagranata‟s children are Muslim and implementing worship i.e. s{ala>t,
fasting, and alms (zaka>t) in the daily life although their religious status on
KTP is non Muslim. Whereas, all of Beni and Sukisno‟s children are
Muslim but did not like previous family, their children are less consistent
in Islamic worship. These are the cause why I call that there is a pretense
of religion in his life.
67
2. Status of the marriage
Even though their marriage was legitimated and registered by
official of marriage registration (PPN), but their marital status is uncertain
to be legitimated by their each religions. No religion permits interfaith
marriage, but Islam as the only religion which allows, restricts whether
anyone of non Muslim is allowed to take in marriage. It causes whether
their sexual intercorse is called zina (adultery) or not, and whether the
children born are legally their descendant.
3. Right in inheritance
Although it‟s definite that anyone of children has a right of
inheritance as the result of manipulation towards the religious status,
however their real religion, as reflected in daily life, is quite different with
written data in KTP, Family Card (KK), and civil registration document.
Islam determines that difference of religion is one of the barriers to
meet the inheritance.
4. Confusion of law
Even if the certainty of law has been established, but the interfaith
marriage actors still thinks confused. They know that their kind of
marriage has not been accommodated and even their own religion doesn‟t
wish it. Indeed some of the actors know that Islam doesn‟t give certainty
whether their marriage is allowed, because there are Islamic scholars
allow and anothers prohibit.
68
5. Domination and anxiety
Notwithstanding there is an agreement to respect each own faith
before establishing marriage, but conflict that happens during the journey
can disturb the worship. It‟s also admitted by interfaith marriage actors in
the hamlet, they (both husband and wife) wished that the children should
follow their religion. It causes a problem of domination within family‟s
life.
6. Counterfeiting
Their marriage was preceded by counterfeiting status, thus would
be many counterfeits furthermore, for instance when the children have the
desire to marry. It‟s similar with an idiom, “maintain a counterfeiting by
using another counterfeiting.”
7. One of the spouse probably moves to his husband/wife‟s religion
It‟s probably a positive thing if one of spouse moves to Islam, but it
will be different when a Muslim moves to be murtad that it‟s caused by
the marriage.
Beside negative impacts, there is the positive of interfaith marriage.
This paragraph aims to balance the explanation. It would create a sense of
tolerance earlier. Because the difference that brought about serenity and
goodness, will produce a good impact, then each component of the family
will get a sense of tolerance and mutual respect towards the difference, they
will realize that pluralism and differentiation are something real and unified-