“In Sickness and In Health: How to soften suffering when illness strikes ” Smart Marriages 12 th Annual Conference San Francisco, CA July 4, 2008 (Not.

“In Sickness and In Health: How to soften suffering

when illness strikes”

Smart Marriages 12th Annual ConferenceSan Francisco, CA

July 4, 2008

(Not to be copied or distributedwithout permission of the authors)

Lorraine M. Wright, RN, PhD

Professor Emeritus of Nursing University of CalgaryEmail: [email protected]

www.lorrainewright.com

Janice M. Bell, RN, PhD

Former Director, Family Nursing UnitUniversity of CalgaryEditor, Journal of Family NursingEmail: [email protected]

MISSION: Create and disseminate practice knowledge about illness

suffering and family healing

WEB SITES

Family Nursing Unit

www.ucalgary.ca/NU/fnu

Family Nursing Resources

www.familynursingresources.com

Journal of Family Nursing

http://jfn.sagepub.com

REFERENCE BOOKS

Wright, L.M., & Bell, J.M. (in press). Beliefs and Illness: A Model for Healing. 4th Floor Press: Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Wright, L.M. (2005). Spirituality, Suffering, and Illness: Ideas for Healing. FA Davis: Philadelphia.

Wright, L.M., & Leahey, M. (2005). Nurses and Families:A Guide to Family Assessment and Intervention (4th ed.). FA Davis: Philadelphia.

Wright, L.M., Watson, W.L., & Bell, J.M. (1996). Beliefs: The Heart of Healing in Families and Illness. Basic Books: New York.

What illness will you most likely experience in your couple relationship?

A QUESTION TO PONDER

Couples and Illness

(Weihs, Fisher, & Baird, 2002)

“Illness, disability, and death are universal experiences in families. Chronic illness and life-threatening illness [physical or mental illness] confront all of us with some of life’s greatest challenges. The question is not if we will face these issues but rather when, what condition, how serious, and for how long?”

Marriage Matters in Illness

• When one member of a couple develops a serious illness, the lives of both partners are likely to be affected.

• Emotional, relational, spiritual issues are reported to be of greater concern to seriously ill couples than physical symptoms and medical interventions.

• Quality of marital interactions and in particular, levels of support by the spouse, is a strong predictor of adaptation to illness and health outcomes.

Marriage Matters in Illness

•The nature and progression of illness challenges couples by creating changes in communication, roles and responsibilities, and how they adjust to the demands of illness.

•Adaptation to illness is influenced more by couple functioning than by the severity of the illness.

(Kuyper & Wester, 1998; McLean & Jones, 2007; Rolland, 1994; Skerrett, 2003)

Couples’ Beliefs about Illness

Facilitating Beliefs of Couples Experiencing Illness

• “We” are experiencing this illness.

• A good wife/husband is present and emotionally available.

• We feel supported by our family and health care professionals.

• Illness is an opportunity for relational growth.

Constraining Beliefs of Couples

Experiencing Illness

• This illness is “my” or “his” illness, not “our” illness.

• Talking about illness with my partner is too scary or too difficult.

• We are overwhelmed by this illness.

• I don’t have the skills, knowledge and/or time to care for my partner.

1. Invite, listen to, and acknowledge the couple’s illness suffering.

Illness narratives include stories of sickness and suffering that need to be told and witnessed.

(Wright, 2005; Wright & Bell, in press; Wright, Watson, & Bell, 1996)

Ways To Soften Suffering

2. Offer commendations.

All couples have strengths, often unappreciated orunrealized.

Conversations of “goodness”

(Limacher & Wright, 2003, 2006; Wright, 2005; Wright & Bell, in press; Wright, Watson, & Bell, 1996)

Ways To Soften Suffering

3. Ask questions that invite reflection.

Interventive questions, reflexive questions

(Loos & Bell, 1990; Tomm, 1987, 1988; Wright & Bell, in press; Wright, Watson, & Bell, 1996)

Ways To Soften Suffering

4. Write a therapeutic letter.

(Moules, 2002, 2003, in press; White & Epston, 1990; Wright & Bell, in press; Wright, Watson, & Bell, 1996)

Ways To Soften Suffering

All of the publications of Family Nursing Unit faculty (Wright, Bell, Moules), students, and graduates are archived for free public access

in the Family Nursing Unit Dspace Collection

at the University of Calgary Library. See: https://dspace.ucalgary.ca/handle/1880/44060

For workshops, training, and developingdemonstration projects in health care settings

about the clinical practice models: ILLNESS BELIEFS MODEL

TRINITY MODEL CFAM, CFIM

Dr. Janice Bell & Dr. Lorraine Wright

[email protected] www.janicembell.com

[email protected]