Improving Word Choice

Why Word Choice is Important

Ideas are rarely new. So when you write, there’s a good chance

that what you are presenting has been said before. In order not

to bore your audience, you have to make your writing

unique and original. But how does one accomplish this?

Write with style.Quality word choice is significant improving a

to a writer’s style.Clever phrases, powerful verbs, just-right

nouns . . . these lead toa voice all your own, one you will enjoy using

and one that willkeep your audience reading.

Using Powerful VerbsVerbs come in two types: state of being

verbs and actionverbs.

State of being verbs are most often variations on the “to be” verb: is, was, are, were, has been . . . Most other verbs are action verbs, showing someone or something doing. These are the ones you can have fun with: blast, tip-toe, wrench, guzzle, fling, mutate,project, wink, plop, flutter, cascade, sink, yelp and snooze.

Using Powerful VerbsFirst of all, look for ways to use action

verbs over state ofbeing verbs whenever possible.

Original: The teacher is at her desk while the kindergarteners are all over the room.Rewrite: The teacher cowers at her desk while the kindergarteners sprint all over the room.

Using Powerful VerbsSome action verbs are very common and

over used. Replace boring action verbs with ones that

are not onlysnappy, but precise. Consider this

sentence:“No,” she said and walked out of the room.

The verbs are actions verbs, but not very exciting ones.

How about this instead:“No,” she murmured and shuffled out of

the room.

Using Precise NounsThe man walked into the room.

The nouns in the sentence above are vague, general

and unexciting.

The priest walked into the courtroom.Isn’t that better? Strive to use interesting,

precise nouns to describe objects and people.

Using Precise NounsHere’s another example:Original: A dog bounded across the yard,

scaring the group half to death.

Rewrite 1: A Doberman Pincher bounded across the estate,

scaring the vandals half to death.

Rewrite 2: A toy poodle bounded across the Astroturf, scaring the trick-o-treaters half to death.

Using Adjectives

Use adjectives with caution. One mistake of beginning

writers trying to improve their word choice is to go into

“adjective overload.”Here’s an example of what NOT to do:

The lovely, fluffy, wonderful pillow helped me get a peaceful, relaxing and great night’s sleep.

Boomer, our hyper, crazy, big, furry dog, licked my little cousin’s small pink hand until she gave him a treat.

Using Adjectives“Adjective overload” doesn’t just happen when

long stringsof adjectives get thrown into a sentence. Some

writers will only use one adjective per noun, but the problem is when

they use an adjective for EVERY noun.Another example of what NOT to do:

My fantastic friend gave me a wonderful present for my very special day. It was an awesome poster of a cute kitten and an adorable puppy playing. It sure made up for the terrible name she called me on that awful school day last week.

Using Adjectives

If you were gagging on that last example, you tuned into the

fact that many commonly used adjectives are just that –

common and overused – and a bit sickening when used too

heavily. Avoid adjectives such as wonderful, pretty,

lovely, great, awful, terrible and the like. These words

“tell” ratherthan “show” and make for boring reading.

How was theday beautiful? Describe it!

Using AdjectivesSo what DO we do?

Use strong, descriptive adjectives only when they really add

to an idea. Consider lively adjectives such as these:

blistered sun-kissed raspy saturatedsilken

papery bejeweled turbid willfuleerie

gritty catastrophic acrid tatteredhaunting

crystalline redundant soullessvariegated cynical

sinuous unruly sluggish vacuousbitter

discombobulated scaly brazen polished lucid

Using AdjectivesThose listed on the last slide are just a few

examples of hundreds of adjective possibilities. Here

are a few in use:• We followed the sinuous path of the river

through the forest. • Cortez’s bitter conquest of the Mayans

was the beginning Western rule in the Americas.

• Grace’s haunting voice lilted over the airwaves.

• The sluggish clerk scanned our items, grabbing each with scaly hands, which made me reach for the travel-sized bottle of hand lotion displayed in the checkout line.

Using AdverbsWhereas an adjective describes a noun, an

ADVERB describes, who would have guessed it, a

verb. Most adverbs are “ly” words.Again, you want to avoid over using

adverbs, but let’s take a look at a few good examples in action:• The thief stealthy crept down the

museum hallway.• Tirelessly trudging through the mud, the

oxen harnessed to the plow continued their thankless job.

• Superman intuitively sensed the danger.

Creative PhrasingPhrasing is probably the area where you

can have the most creative fun in writing. Creative phrasing

is taking ordinary words and phrasing them

together in a unique, pleasing manner. Look at these words to describe a desert

scene: cactus, sand,windy, hills, arid, sun-baked, blue sky,

expansive, tumbleweed, harsh, unforgiving,

sparse, rocky, rigidUse these some of these words

creatively to create a descriptive picture of a desert scene

(#10 on your notes).

Creative PhrasingHere are some of the combinations I came up

with: • cactus-ridden, sun-baked hills of sand• Expansive tracts of gritty sand gave home

to sedentary cactus and racing tumbleweed

• the sharps winds of the desert lifted sand into the expansive sky

• spikes of cactus rose up into the unerring blue

• a palace of harsh, wind-driven sands and sun-baked rocks

• a arid canvas of sand carpets and cactus and topsy-turvy tumbleweed

• thirsty waves of sand • the fat dollop of a barrel cactus

Creative PhrasingMany times, this just take a little

rearranging of words youalready have.Original: As I drove along the highway, I could

see the summit of Pasachoa off to my left. Having hiked on it, I

know it’s green, andall of its contours make it look like some grabbed

it and twisted it,but today I couldn’t see much because the

windows were fogged up.

Rewrite: The green, twisted summit of Pasachoa slid by to

my left, but I could see little more than a dark splotch

through the veil of fog resting on the windows.

Creative PhrasingHere are a few examples from my own writing.

These arefrom an essay about Christmas lights:

electric holiday frenzyicicle merrimentpsychedelic in-your-face festiveness

From an essay about traveling in Peru:a flurry of confused activitymountains draped in noble robes of snowa makeshift woolen cocoona dark sequined mantle (to describe the

night sky)

Use “Dense” WordsOnce a month is monthly.Something new is novel.People they don’t know are strangers.Something impossible to imagine is

inconceivable.To think about for a long time is to ponder.Throughout the whole year is periodically.Over and over again is redundant or

incessant.Something that doesn’t last long is

fleeting.Refusing to follow directions is obstinate.

Use “Dense” WordsThe previous slide just gives a few

examples of howyou can reduce wordiness and

improve the flow of your sentences.A big vocabulary helps, but is not

necessary. Just pay attention to the words you use and

ask yourself if anything better is available.

Remaining attentive to your writing is the key to improving it!

Words to Avoid

Avoid “like” as a modifier. NO: I was, like, horrified by the situation.YES! I was horrified by the situation.

Avoid “like” as a replacement for said or synonyms.NO: Layla was like, “No way!”YES! Layla shrieked, “No way!”

Words to Avoid (or use in serious moderation)

run thing stuff good bad

went said pretty uglyawful

nice sucks mad sadhappy

get well so

Avoiding Clichés

A cliché is an overused expression. Many clichés are

similes, such as “smokes like a chimney” or “like a

bump on a log.”While clichés are often colorful, they

are alsounoriginal and tired. Any writer can

throw one in, and far too many do, degrading the

quality and art ofthe writing.

Avoiding Clichés More examples:

Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bagEverything is coming up rosesLet the cat out of the bagRaining cats and dogsSafe and soundSnug as a bugKicked the bucketLive and learnNo guts, no gloryFirst and foremost

Avoiding Clichés There are hundreds more clichés than the

ones just listed. How do you spot one in your writing so that

you know toreplace it?

Ask yourself if you’ve heard that before, more than

just once or twice.

If so, it’s probably a cliché.

Avoiding Clichés How do you replace a cliché?

Be creative! Use description. Look at the difference between these two

sentences:Cliché: The weather was awful! It was raining cats and dogs!Creative: Thick rain drops pounded the pavement with force, sending pedestrians running for cover.

Notice how the second sentence is much more interesting

and descriptive? Challenge yourself to, as the joke goes,

avoid clichés like the plague. Har, har, har.

Using the ThesaurusA thesaurus is a lot like a can of paint: it has

the potential tohelp you or cause a lot of harm.Many writers new to the thesaurus make the

mistake of choosing big, academic-sounding words that

they really don’tknow. While synonyms are similar, they are

nuanced enoughthat the word you choose has the potential to

throw off your reader and make you look silly. Plus, many

words have morethan one meaning. If you choose a synonym

for an alternatemeaning to the one you are using, it makes

your sentence soundquite strange.

Using the ThesaurusThe best use of a thesaurus is to find word you

know, but just hadn’t thought of at the moment. For

example, let’ssay you want to describe something a soft – a

voice, hair, theflowers of a petal, skin or music.“Soft” replacements: silky, downy,

velvety, suppleThe words mellifluous and faint can also

replace soft, but only for sounds. Diffused and dim work for

only for light or color. Chances are you know most of these words,

you just might nothave thought of them without the help of a

thesaurus.

Using the ThesaurusI even used the MSWord thesaurus in writing

this Power Point presentation. To remedy my over-use of

the wordinteresting, I looked it up and found many

alternatives –words I know, but just hadn't thought of at

that moment.Interesting: appealing, attractive,

motivating, exciting, fascinating, attention-grabbing, remarkable, note-worthy, catchy

Obviously, not all of these words will work for all

occasions, so choose your words carefully!

Last WordGood word choice does take time and

thought, although itcomes easier the more you practice. Slow

down, consideryour words when you write and revise, and

you will begin tosee a dramatic improvement in the quality

of your writing.

Reading is another great way to help improve your word

choice. Nothing builds a strong vocabulary bank like

reading books!