GIRLS START BOyS START ♥ ♥ ♥ Russell Dash through high-heel race. Roll again. Get stuck waiting for parade to pass. Lose turn. Get stuck waiting for parade to pass. Lose turn. Get caught peeing in public. Return to start. Wait forever for Porta-Potty. Lose turn. Slip on Hurricane vomit. Slide forward one. Wait forever for Porta-Potty. Lose turn. Get caught peeing in public. Return to start. Throw girl beads, see boobs. Move forward two. Do a Shot! Do a Shot! Do a Shot! See boobs you can't unsee. Roll again. Get thrown out of VIP tent. Go back three. Sneak into VIP tent. Go forward four. Get beads, show boobs. Move forward two. Run from hoosiers with beads. Advance three. Stop at Street Party. Dance to Dr. Z. Skip turn. he odds of Valentine’s Day falling on the Saturday before Fat Tuesday (when St. Louis truly celebrates Mardi Gras) are slim but not unheard of. Most recently it happened in 1953, when the moon and sun aligned just so, and it’s happening again this week. Yet even rarer than Valentine’s Day falling on Mardi Gras is you falling for your valentine at Mardi Gras. Sure, it’s easy to drunkenly stumble into a wanton hookup in that gumbo of beads, boobs and depravity that is Mardi Gras in Soulard. But love? That’s a more challenging game, and one we at Riverfront Times call “The Birds & The Beads.” Instructions: Six or fewer players begin by positioning their game piece (use coins, buttons, bottlecaps, etc.) on the gender-appropriate “Start” square. Begin with a female player rolling a die (which you provide) and advancing the number of squares that corresponds with her roll. From there, alternate casting the die between players going from boy to girl. The game is won when a female player and male player (or male and male, or female and female, depending on players’ sexual orientation; hey, this is Soulard!) land on a heart square. Just as in real life, keep circling the field until you find true love or die sad and alone. ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOE ROCCO T
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riverfronttimes.com F E B R U A R Y 1 2 – 1 8 , 2 0 1 5 R I V E R F R O N T T I M E S 98 R I V E R F R O N T T I M E S F E B R U A R Y 1 2 – 1 8 , 2 0 1 5 riverfronttimes.com
GIRLS
START
BOyS
START
♥♥
♥
Russell Dash
thro
ugh
high-h
eel r
ace.
Roll a
gain.
Get stuck waiting
for parade to
pass. Lose turn.
Get stuck waiting
for parade to
pass. Lose turn.
Get caught
peeing in public.
Return to start.
Wait forever
for Porta-Potty.
Lose turn.
Slip on Hurricane
vomit. Slide
forward one.
Wait forever
for Porta
-Potty.
Lose turn.
Get caught
peeing in
public.
Return to
start.
Throw gir
l beads,
see boob
s. Move
forward tw
o.
Do a
Shot!
Do a
Shot!
Do aShot!
See b
oobs
you
can't
unse
e.
Roll a
gain.
Get thrown out
of VIP tent.
Go back three.
Sneak into
VIP te
nt. Go
forward fo
ur.
Get be
ads,
show
boob
s. Move
forward
two.
Run
from h
oosie
rs
with
bea
ds.
Adva
nce t
hree
.
Stop at Street
Party. Dance to
Dr. Z. Skip turn.he odds of Valentine’s Day falling on the Saturday
before Fat Tuesday (when St. Louis truly celebrates Mardi Gras) are slim but not unheard of. Most recently it happened in 1953, when the moon and sun aligned
just so, and it’s happening again this week.Yet even rarer than Valentine’s Day falling on Mardi Gras
is you falling for your valentine at Mardi Gras. Sure, it’s easy to drunkenly stumble into a wanton hookup in that gumbo of beads, boobs and depravity that is Mardi Gras in Soulard. But love? That’s a more challenging game, and one we at Riverfront Times call “The Birds & The Beads.”
Instructions: Six or fewer players begin by positioning their game piece (use coins, buttons, bottlecaps, etc.) on the gender-appropriate “Start” square. Begin with a female player rolling a die (which you provide) and advancing the number of squares that corresponds with her roll. From there, alternate casting the die between players going from boy to girl. The game is won when a female player and male player (or male and male, or female and female, depending on players’ sexual orientation; hey, this is Soulard!) land on a heart square. Just as in real life, keep circling the fi eld until you fi nd true love or die sad and alone.
ILLUSTRATIONS BY JOE ROCCO
T
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