i'i's - eVols

i'i's

Learn How to:

Great for: Parties, Holiday Sales,

Announcements, Craft Fairs, Retail,

Rallies and More! Want to super size your banner? Visitwww~mo.net

~n11mr tft~~~i~ww ~m~

~~'llbWtW

www.bestprinting.net

on one side, 6 gronunets included -resolution pdf (150 dpi or above at final size)

from the time of file approval see store for details.

• Awaken creativity and potential by clearing limiting beliefs and past emotional traumas • Open yourself to inner peace, freedom, and love by healing your relationships • Experience joy and vitality by tapping and aligning with your essential life force

..

Huna is the original art and science of healing and spiritual development of the Hawaiian people. It is for those who want to know more about who we are and the nature of the world we live in.

Plan on "living" this material and not just "learning" it.

l-"1' Empowerment ~ PARTNERSHIP

2 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

The Huna Higher

Consciousness Workshop

Troy University offers the distance-learning classes you're looking for:

Associate of Science • Business • Computer Science • General Education

Bachelor of Science, majors in: • Business Administration (General Business or

Management concentrations) • Computer Science • Criminal Justice • Management • Political Science • Psychology • Social Science • Sport and Fitness Management

Bachelor of Science, minor in: • History

Bachelor of Applied Science in Resources ancfTechnology Management Master of Business Administration and Executive Master of Business Administration

Master of Science in Post Secondary Education

• Concentrations in Instructional Technology, Adult Education, Psychology and Foundations ofEducation

Master of Public Administration

Master of Science • Criminal Justice • Human Resource Management • International Relations • Management

All degree programs are 100% online.

Thov UNIVERSITY @CAMP.US your future on your terms

(800)-266-1154 troy.edu

Kona, Hawaii March 8-16, 2008

·LIMITED ENROLLMENT· Call now for more info: 596-7765 Visit us online at www.huna.com

615 Piikoi St., Ste 501, Honolulu, HI 96814 • tel:800.800.6463 • fax:808.596.7764

r -

Letters

UH Professor Is the one in need of a history lesson Professor Fischer recently opined that Capitalism "is inherently unfair and oppressive to most people," (Letters, I/9) resulting in people's "depredation and degradation." He also stated Capitalism "ranks with royalty and orthodox religion as the greatest threats to the happiness of humans." Fischer "dreams" for "governments [that] can control the _economy ... to ensure that all citi­zens prosper .... "

Fischer longs for Socialism; hence his desire for more govern­ment and less free market. Lenin, Mao and other Marxists all made this argument. These and other similar systems of government have largely adopted Capitalist policies. You will more likely find a McDon­ald's instead of a bread line in these countries today. Clearly, markets work, governments don't.

HONOLULU

Weekly Vol. 18, No. 4

January 23-29, 2008

Our Mission: To create a high-quality,

profitable weekly O'ahu newspaper that provides its readers with independent,

entertaining, provocative coverage examining local issues, arts and events in

a visually striking format.

Publisher Laurie V. Carlson Editor Mindy Pennybacker A&E Editor Dean Carrico Calendar Editor Margot Seeto Editor-at-large Travis Quezon Film Critic Bob Green Contributing Writers Keith Bettinger, Joan Conrow, Keala Francis, Ian Lind, Becky Maltby, Matthew Martin, Greg Mebel, Marcia Morse, Megan Rooney, Brian-Schatz, Ryan Senaga, Jesse L. Szymanski, Steve Wagenseller, Kevin Whitton, Kalani Wilhelm, Jamie Winpenny Director of New Media & Production Joe Edmon Production Manager Manny Pangilinan Production Interns Anna Fong, Eija Rissanen Ad/Graphic Design Julia Fuller Contributing Photographers Malia Leinau, Justin Leong, Wei Ping Lum Cartoonists & Illustrators Max Cannon, Lloyd Dangle, John Pritchett, Slug Signorino, Tom Tomorrow

Sales & Marketing Manager Laurie V. Carlson Senior Account Executive Colleen Knudsen Account Executive Ilma Anikow Classifieds Sales Manager Lei Ana E. Green Classifieds Representatives Nick Baca, Lance Motogawa Distribution Manager Kate Paine Bookkeeper Pamela Farris Administrative Assistant Rachel Brown

ISSN #1057-414X Entire contents O 2008 by Honolulu Weekly Inc. All rights reserved. Manuscripts should bt accompanitd by a st/f· addressed stamped tnvtlope: Honolulu Weekly assumes no rtsponsibility for unsolicited maltrial. Honolulu Weekly i.r available fru of charge, lim­ited to one copy per reader. Additional copies may bt purchased at our office. No ,urson may, without permission of Honolulu Weekly, take more than one copy of each Honolulu Weekly issue.

www.honoluluweekly.com

Phone: (808) 528-1475 Fax: (808) 528-3144

Classifieds: (808) 534-7024

[email protected] [email protected]

[email protected]

1111 Fort Street Mall, Honolulu, HI, 96813

INDEPENDENT, LOCALLY OWNED

Historically, no other economic system has improved as many peo­ple's lives as Capitalism. Countless Chinese and Indian citizens have been lifted out of abject poverty because of their government's re­cent adoption of Capitalist poli­cies. The same is true of Russia and Eastern Europe since Communism collapsed. Hundreds of thousands North Vietnamese citizens died in furtherance of a Communist govern­ment. In 2007 Vietnam joined the World Trade Organization. Muham­mad Yunus won the Nobel Peace Prize because of a purely Capitalist idea-a micro-loan program that has changed the economic dynamic in Bangladesh for countless citizens.

Fischer probably pines for a softer Socialism, such as exists in Sweden. No thanks! There, an engineer's in­come is comparable to low-skilled occupations. "That's fair!" Fischer may say. Not in my world. I'm con­tent letting the market dictate my earning potential, not a Socialist government. The Socialism-Lite that governs Sweden stifles initiative and creativity, forces that are the essence of a free (and Capitalist) society.

Capitalism works because it em­powers individuals. ·By their nature, powerful governments are corrupt and abuse of their own citizens­"absolute power corrupts absolute­ly." Lenin seduced Russian citizens with Fischer's same arguments, the result was collectivization, purges, and 30 million deaths in the Gulag. Mao seduced the Chinese people, the result was 50 million deaths and the Cultural Revolution. The issue de jure in the United States is whether we are becoming a "totali­tarian" state because of our post-9/11 policies investing greater au­thority in the federal government. Fischer's confidence in powerful governments is therefore misguid­ed. The largest threat throughout history has been powerful, authori­tative governments. Consequently, Professor Fischer's statement that Tasch has a "poor understanding of both history and economics" is remarkable because it's so wrong.

Major Gary T. Johnson Schofield Barracks, Hawai'i

Honest politics Hawai'i Republicans have a rare opportunity to right a past wrong on Jan. 25 by voting for John Mc­Cain. McCain was wrongly vilified in South Carolina in 2000, lost an election he should have won, and has since emerged as the most hon­est politician in Washington. He de­serves the respect (and the vote), of Hawai'i's GOP.

Jeff Robertson Honolulu, HI

Facts before funding Recent reports of shoddy mainte­nance at the University of Hawai 'i are absolutely outrageous. The poor facilities for football are only a part of the larger picture: a university gone bad with shoddy maintenance.

Obviously some money is needed. But before the legislature throws huge mounds of money at the university, some questions should be asked. We need to know what money has gone to the uni­versity and where the money went. How much money has the legislature sent per pupil, and how does that compare to other universities? Have the maintenance

Pritchett Republican Gov. Lingle speaks to the legislative majority.

... bl a. b/q bf a., ~la. blo.. >

pJ~ p/"'- \)j~ tJ/o.._> biA b/~J

'pJCA b/<t \:,l~J bfa.. blo.. tJ\ ~/ bl<:t b/4 bf (A_ bla. · · ·

)

staff done a good job (considering funds available), or have they not done as much as they should have?

So before the legislature appro­priates more money to improve uni­versity facilities, they should get the facts first as to what has been done with the money already sent.

And, while we are at it, the Board of Regents needs to ask what the chancellor and president of the university have done about the situation. Did the president and chancellor jump up and down and scream about the situation, or did they passively let this horrible situ­ation continue? Did they get action from the maintenance staff? Do we, perhaps, need a new adminis­tration at the university?

Let us act, but let us get the facts before we act. The students at the university are the ones who are poorly served. They are preparing for their futures, and we should not let them down.

Mark Terry Honolulu, HI

~ Solution to Housing for Homeless Mentally Ill Brian Schatz is right on target about the State of Hawai 'i's need to fully commit to provide for the housing needs of all seriously mentally ill individuals experiencing homeless­ness. Trying to deliver treatment without providing stable housing is clinically backwards and often a waste of money.

In addition to programs oper­ated by Steadfast and Mental Health Kokua, both the Institute for Human Services and Kalihi­Palama Health for the Homeless run highly-successful Permanent Supportive Housing programs that currently serve about 300 persons

with serious mental illness. Hous­ing retention exceeds 95 percent for these programs.

While Schatz's hypothetical still rings true, homelessness among individuals with serious mental illness appears to have stabilized over the past five years and may actually be experiencing a de­cline due to the work of those four agencies in concert with the Adult Mental Health Division that have housed well over 600 persons over the last five years.

An easy solution for more hous­ing is also available to the Gover­nor and the Legislature by creating an additional 200 to 300 vouchers (akin to Section 8) for homeless, mentally ill individuals by seques­tering a mere 15 percent of funds (about $4 million per year) from the Rental Housing Trust Fund. Yes, building new affordable rental housing is greatly needed for low in­come households and that problem will still get the lion's share ($20 to $25 million) of the conveyance tax. But rental housing for single, home­less individuals with schizophrenia and other debilitating psychiatric disorders, who often need a lifetime subsidy, continues to be a missing piece in the State's affordable hous­ing initiative.

Or use and augment with gener­al funds the State's Rental Housing Assistance program that perennial­ly gets under-used by $600,000-enough for 50 vouchers alone­and create a specific program that funds monthly rental assistance to this population. The bureaucratic apparatus for this type of program already exists.

And the myth that rental hous­ing is not available to utilize these vouchers is exactly that-a myth.

Current Permanent Supportive Housing programs run by all agen­cies are fully booked and could eas­ily use an influx of 100 vouchers in the next 6 months-and house 100 seriously mentally ill persons now, rather than waiting 3 to 4 years to build new, expensive affordable housing-that unfortunately tends not to go to the most needy house­holds and rarely to single, homeless individuals with schizophrenia.

The State and the Leg have at its disposal the funds and admin­istrative means to solve this part of homelessness.

So, Brian, do me a favor, ask your old buddies at the Leg, what are they waiting for?

Michael Ullman Honolulu, HI

Go, go public funding Many thanks to the Hawai 'i County Council for taking the lead on sup­porting a pilot program for Publicly Funded Elections. States and mu­nicipalities around the country have seen Publicly Funded Elections work to increase voter turnout and create a new interest in the political process_ The state and county of Hawai 'i, with some of the lowest voter turn out rates in the country, will certain­ly benefit from the program. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Justin Avery Hilo, HI

Letters should be signed with the writ­er's full name and their town or city and state, as well as phone number for confinnation only.

WRITE TO: Letters to the Editor, Honolulu Weekly, 1111 Fort Street Mall, Honolulu, HI, 96813. Fax to 528-3144 or e-mail to [email protected].

www.honoluluweeldy.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 3

honolulu diary Kahuku woman dances with the real estate big boys to save her home

Colburn report IAN LIND

P atsy Colburn is a Ka­huku woman trying to hold on to her family's home on five acres on the hills above the for­

mer plantation town. Her vision in­volves buying the entire 58-acre par­cel previously owned by Campbell Estate, using expensive short-term loans, then leveraging her position and paying off the debt by quickly developing a 140-home residential subdivision, with half the units to be sold at affordable prices to members of the tight-knit community.

It's a tricky proposition at best, and despite energy, enthusiasm and an appreciative audience of potential buyers, Colburn and her partners are in danger of seeing the plan collapse under the weight of their own lack of experience, difficulty obtaining financing, lack of infrastructure and technical problems that could make building in the remote location too expensive to remain affordable.

The company's experience shows the difficulties facing well-inten­tioned but less experienced com­munity-based partnerships who try to compete in the often cut-throat

world of commercial development. Colburn got off to a fast start in

late 2005, partnering with Califor­nia realtor and developer Kirk Fau­sett's Sunrise Venture Group Inc. to create Manager's Ridge LLC. They were able to pull together a deal to complete the $3 million land pur­chase, prepared a preliminary sub­division plan and took deposits last year from at least 193 families who paid to get in on a waiting list for the affordable homes. Colburn says 90 percent of those come from Kahuku and surrounding communities.

Colburn and Fausett told a spe­cial neighborhood board meeting in Hauula two weeks ago that they were trying to get their project onto a "fast track" by applying for the state's 201H process which if grant­ed, would bypass key county zoning requirements and allow the company to proceed with the subdivision with­out going through the lengthy and expensive process of changing the property's agricultural designation.

But the reality is that Manager's Ridge LLC filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in Septem­ber 2007, listing a total of $4.6 mil­lion in debts, including $14,332.72 in unpaid real property tax owed

to the city, against assets consist­ing solely of the company's interest in the land and a Bank of America checking account containing $26.

Colburn says the bankruptcy is only a temporary setback that is be­ing "taken care of." She attributes the financial stumble to a greedy lender "going behind our backs and trying to steal the property."

However, the company's assets reported to the bankruptcy court did not include any office equipment or other trappings of a functioning business.

"In fact, the debtor does not have any kind of business nor does it hold any meaningful cash funds," the attorney representing the com­pany's largest creditor alleged in documents filed in court.

Colburn acknowledges that Fau­sett has not previously developed anything on the scale of Manager's Ridge, but describes him as an ex­perienced realtor and developer.

Kelly Robbennolt, a Utah busi­nessman brought in by Fausett to set up the new company, write its busi­ness plan, identify potential inves­tors and then negotiate key parts of the deal, says he was invited into the partnership because the group hadn't

about preserving who we are."

raised any part of the $3 million pur­chase price and that Fausett did not have "any prior experience planning, rezoning, or subdividing properties."

Robbennolt claims he arranged a series of short-term loans to provide investment funds for Sunrise Venture Group to put into the project, and records show Manager's Ridge then obtained a one-year loan for $2.2 mil­lion loan from 3M Investments Inc. in March 2006 to complete the land deal, but was forced to pay 16 percent interest. The interest-only payments came to $29,333 per month.

According to the lawsuit, Rob­bennolt advised against going fur­ther into debt and paying high inter­est rates "without putting together a solid business case for their projects and informing prospective investors of the risks associated with invest­ing including the company being undercapitalized." Robbennolt al­leges he was fired after warning the company might be violating state and federal securities laws by offer­ing to sell shares without first regis­tering the company's stock or meet­ing other regulatory requirements.

Robbennolt reached a settlement with the company's primary lender and the suit was dismissed last year,

but it can be filed again at a later date against Mariner's Ridge LLC and other defendants.

Colburn says the 201H fast track is now a key to the project's suc­cess, but approval requires the state to determine the company is "quali­fied by experience and financial responsibility and support to con­struct housing of the type described and of the magnitude encompassed by the given project."

This review "may include, but is not limited to, information to determine credit worthiness, detailed informa­tion on operating costs for private sewer and or water systems, traffic studies, etc.," the application states.

Manager's Ridge has gotten a few months breathing room. Earlier this month, the company reported a $100,000 cash infusion that will be used to pay overdue property taxes and make interest payments while attempting to line up alternative financing.

Through it all, Colburn remains determined.

"A lot of lenders and others out there want to grab control of Man­ager's Ridge, but that's not going to happen because this belongs to the people," she said. •

QUICK HITS Kingdom of Hawai'i reaches $200 million settlement

with United States-In what may be the beginning of what could possibly be a less symbolic and more physcial amends made by the U.S. government, over 200 acres of ceded land was returned to the Kingdom of Hawai'i, part of a $200 million tentative settlement announced last week, the Associated Press reports. Three commercial and industrial properties on Oahu and the Big Island worth $187 million were transferred to the Office of Hawaiian Affairs. On the surface it looks like a win-win situation for Native Hawaiians, if OHA, the Kingdom of Hawai'i and the United States government can continue to keep the interests of the present and future community protect­ed through the deal. "The soul of Hawai'i is Hawaiian," Sen. Fred Hemmings told the Associated Press. ''This is

Hawai'i Democratic Party avoids open primary law­suit-A resolution that proposed for the Democratic Party of Hawai'i to file a lawsuit to change the state's Open Primary system was rescinded last week by a vote of 36-5. The general feeling was that Democrats felt they would risk making itself unpopular if they went ahead with addressing the flawed voting system which allows for vot­ers to vote in any primary, regardless of party affiliation, and then switch. Earlier this year, attorney Steve Laudig compared the current primary system to Protestants being allowed to elect the Pope. The fact that much of Hawai'i voters aren't card carrying Democrats or Republicans may have also had a hand in the decision. For now, it seems the Hawai'i Democratic Party is fine with having a primary that isn't really a primary-with non-Democrats voting for

Iraqi union leader asks United States to change Hussein's unjust labor law-World labor rights group U.S. Labor Against the War received a translation of a letter written in Arabic sent by the Iraqi Federation of Oil Unions to the Iraqi Minister of Labor and Social Affairs. The letter asked that the current government in Iraq implement a long-delayed law governing labor rights guaranteed by the International Labor Organization conventions governing the right to organize, bargain and strike. U.S. labor union leaders, in an act of standing in solidarity with the world's working people, says that the U.S. occupation of Iraq continues to enforce unjust laws which refuses to recognize all unions. "We appeal to you to approve a pluralistic approach whereby sectoral federa­tions and professional associations are recognized in the union work," Hassan Juma, president of the Oil Unions Federations in Iraq, said in the letter. -Travis Quezon Democrats. ·

SUBSCRIBE TO

Environment Environment Hawai'i is a publication that gives you news

Hawai'i

on Hawai'i's environment unlike news you'll get anywhere else. If you care about Hawai'i's environment and don't already subscribe, you really should.

Name ____________________ _

Address ___________________ _

City _________________ _

State, Zip -------------------­Yes, sign me on as a subscriber. I enclose a check for:

0 Supporting, corporate, institutional rate: $85

0 Personal Rate: $50.

Sample copies are free.

Address all mail to Environment Hawai'i, 72 Kapi'olani Street, Hilo HI 96720 Make checks payable to Environment Hawai'i.

4 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

,. •fi .. nu .. H&wW\\

ITOBAOO>SI , ol Hawatt I I ~ I Make. Your Own Cigs J :~ ~@OD~[\ ~rd) ~ v~o A

' I I I :~ ' ,,, I Complete Starter Kits :

~ $19 95 · p • > I Makes a Full Carton! i d 942-PUFF I ~ 512 Atkinson Dr. !i \ tobaccosothawaii.com J ·~~.~ .... ,~ ......... ~ ... e'3'7"6'~•-V•~ ........................ T+."''.

UU.....liliA;.lil:.X:IO©itii) Onsite Computer Servicel $70 Flat Rate Repair Personalized Computer Training Custom Gaming Systems Web Design / E-commerce~ Small-Business Servers 1

Pickup I Dropoff Available Wireless and Wired Networking Cell Phone Unlock/Repair

C/earWire Wireless lnternef Internet Caf'e

pen Mon -Fri 9:30am to 5:30pm Emergency On-Call at all other times

77 S Pauahi St

----~--,,.,-..---~~------------·--~------

ConConcon? BRIAN SCHATZ what's so bmk,

that it needs to be fixed?

As required by law, every

ten years, Hawai'i citizens get to vote on whether or not they want a Constitutional Convention. We re-jected the ConCon in 1998, but this election year appears that things may be different. It sounds like an exciting possibility-lots of new people participating in a funda-mental exercise of democracy, con-sidering changes to the foundation of Hawai'i 's laws. One can picture the process-delegates from across the state elected specifically for the purpose of changing Hawai'i 's supreme law. They meet for a few months-akin to the legislative process, and presto! Hawai'i has a new Constitution.

Some proponents express enthu-siasm because they believe that it would usher in a new generation of leaders as it did in 1978. That ConCon was the political coming-

ROLL CALL

out party for such leaders as future that make Hawai'i what it is today. Governor John Waihee, future Ho- First, it contains an explicit right nolulu Mayor Jeremy Harris, future to privacy that doesn't exist in the Senators Les !hara, Carol Fuku- United Stated Constitution. And if naga, and influential forces in the Bush gets another appointment be-State House, Joe Souki and David fore his term expires, the precious Hagino. These leaders and others Supreme Court developed privacy have been· the core of a progressive rights, such as privacy of beliefs movement in Hawaii for decades. and in one's home could be eroded. So given our current leadership Second, the Hawai'i Constitution challenges, a ConCon has a certain is very strong on environmental is-appeal. sues. It contains a right to a clean

environment and defines fresh wa-

The debate so ter as a "public trust" that cannot be bought, sold, or owned.

far has been In addition, it establishes an Of-fice of Hawaiian Affairs, the De-

superficial ... partment of Hawaiian Homelands, and recognizes the special relation-ship that the state of Hawai'i has

Others make a more abstract ar- with its host culture and people. gument-that this is the way that In other words, there are nu-the average citizen can have a voice merous provisions that make our in their government-that it's "your Constitution one of the finest and chance to have your voice heard." It most progressive in the nation, and all seems exhilarating and demo- we should only amend that which cratic, so why wouldn't we want to doesn't serve Hawai'i's needs any go ahead and vote for a ConCon? more. But is there really any of our

Hawai'i's Constitution is an constitution that needs fixing-is extraordinarily progressive docu- there anything fundamentally ment, full of pioneering provisions wrong that warrants the drastic step

MILITARY TRAINING IN MAKUA VALLEY JANUARY28

of a ConCon? If there are serious flaws in the document I haven't yet heard them articulated-so far it's been platitudes about citizens get-ting involved and new leadership. We shouldn't allow ourselves to get distracted by these secondary ben-efits of a ConCon.

I haven't decided if I think a Con-Con is a good idea or not, but I'm sure about this: the debate so far has been superficial and hasn't ad-dressed the fundamental question at stake for every voter-what exactly is wrong with our constitution? Which provisions should be elimi- 2 800 nated or changed? And if there are parts that ought to be updafed or improved, is it worth the risk as- The numler of government jobs sociated with opening up the whole increased between November document for amendment? '07 and December '07 in Hawai'i,

So let the debate over the Con- mostly in the State Department Con begin. But Jet's make sure we

of Education-mostly due to the answer the question: What is so broke that it needs to be fixed? • shifting of the school schedule

as public schools continued

Brian Schatz served four tenns in its unified session, according the State House of Representatives to. the Department of L;,,l;t,r

from 1998 to 2006 and is currently and Industrial Relations. the Chief Executive Officer of Help-ing Hands Hawai'i.

UH STRATEGIC PLAN UPDATE JANUARY 24 FRIENDS OF COFFEE AND TARO

JANUARY24

Two resolutions to the Hawai'i County Council, intro­duced by North Kona Councilman Angel Pilago, that impose moratoria on the planting of GMO taro and coffee passed their first readings in the Environmental Management Committee earlier this month. The reso­lutions 462-08 and 463-08 must now pass the second reading in front of the Kona County Council on Jan. 24 at 8:30AM. Here's your chance to provide testimony, which can be given live by videoconverence in both the Kona and Waimea Council offices, or in the form of e-mail or letters. Address your testimony to "Chair Hoffman and Council Members" and be sure to include the resolution numbers. Email your testimony to coun­cil [email protected] or fax 961-8912.

Follow news magazine Making Contact's intern Samson Reiny in his report on what happens when the military takes over historically sacred land in O'ahu's Makua Valley and how people are fighting back to reclaim this once pristine area. Native Hawaiians lived in Makua Valley for more than a thousand years until the U.S. military evicted them so to use the area for training with live ammunition and weapons. The program features Momi Kamahele, Kyle Kajihiro, David Henkin of Earth Justice, and activist Summer Nemeth. Listen to the podcast on Wednesday, Jan. 23 by visiting radioproject.org or tune in to Hawai'i Public Radio KIPO 89.3 FM on Monday, Jan. 28 at 6:30PM.

Tuition too high? Does the military have too much involvement in our education? Why doesn't the athletic department have enough soap? The University of Hawai'i invites the public to attend a discussion on its system-wide strategic pri­orities ·and performance measures via Hawai'i Interactive Television System (HITS). This update to the strategic plan, sponsored by the UH Office of Academic Planning and Policy, . pertains to the future of the university through 2015 and seeks to strategically position the university to meet the needs of the state. The HITS origination site is at UH Manoa in Kuykendal 201. Visit Hawaii. edu/ovppp/uhplan for more information and to print out a companion handout.

Testimonial

"I'm nervous about attending your class, but that's the best reason to attend - to become comfortable and confident!"

- Incoming student

The next six-session Presentation Course starts Jan. 30.

~ H A W A II

• DVD Rentals & Sales

• New Releases S.l<k>!ISl

s.-• Adult Titles -• Adult DVD's on Sale starting at just $4.99 -2570 S. Beretania St. Ste. 104 945-7771

.COPACABANA Residential Cleaning

CLEANING HAS NEVER BEEN THIS EASY One phone call, two hours later,

your house will be spotless!

{808) 286-3761/www.wemakemshine.com

rP-JPLANNED PARENTHOODe

OF HAWAII Caring • Confidential • Professional • Affordable

Reproductive Healthcare Abortion Services

Birth Control STD Testing / Treatment

Emergency Contraception Gynecological Exams

Pregnancy Testing HPV Vaccine

Most insurance accepted. Teen discounts.

S89-1149 1350 S King Street, Ste. 310 * Honolulu, HI 96814

www.pphi.org Clinics also located in Kahului & Kailua-Kona

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly S

\

----- -----· ·-~---

Measuring our contribution to global warming • . "

Hawai'i's "'" . ..

carbon footprint I

Editor's Note: At first glance, Hawai'i's greenhouse gas output appears low to middling compared with the rest of the country. We rank 43rd among the states and 32nd in per capita emissions per resident. But our real carbon footprint-the releases of carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide we're responsible for- is a lot bigger. That's because the rankings don't take into account Hawai'i's reliance on goods made elsewhere. The gases released in producing the food,fuel and building supplies we import are not counted against US.. Nor are the fossil fuels burnt in transporting all this stuff to our shores.

As Pat Tummons writes in this month's Environment Hawai'i, all these costs, or externalities, "are added to the balance sheet of some other state or country."

Yes, we're islands. Hungry islands. And ·-'ve got big fat luau ca,· -:feet.

Reducing Hawai'i's carbon footprint to its 1990 dimensions, as mandated by a state law passed last year, will be a challenge, as the following chart and index, excerpted from EH, show.

At present, the most effective carbon reduction in­volves burning fewer fossil fuels by conserving en­ergy and gasoline. For a quick look at the prospect ofnon-fossil:fuel energy inHawai'i, read on.

Hawai'i's Warming Index 8. Ranking of Italy (7.69 tons per capita): 52nd

1. Ranking of residents of Hawai'i among all U.S. states in per-cap­ita emissions of carbon dioxide in 2003: 32nd

9. Vehicle miles traveled annu­ally per Hawai'i resident in 2005:

2. Per-capita annual carbon di- 7,907 oxide emissions for Hawai'i for that same year: 17.78 tons

3. Ranking of Hawai'i in 2003 among all U.S. states in total an­nual emissions of carbon diox­ide: 43rd

4. Millions of metric tons of car­bon dioxide Hawai'i emitted in 2003:21.5

5. Millions of metric tons emit­ted in 2003 by No. 1 ranked Tex­as and No. 50 ranked Vermont, respectively: 670.2, 6.5.

6. Countries with highest and lowest per-capita carbon di­oxide emissions in 2004: Qatar (69.2 metric tons per person), Chad (.01 metric ton)

7. Ranking of U.S. per-capita car­bon dioxide emissions among more than 200 nations in 2004: 10th (20.4 tons per capita)

10. Vehicle miles traveled annu­ally per Hawai'i resident in 2000: 7,048

11. Percent increase in Hawai'i per-capita vehicle miles trav­eled, 2000-2005: 12

12. The "emission intensity" of Hawai'i's commercial fishing fleet (carbon dioxide emitted per million dollars revenue gen­erated): 1.596 million tons

13. The emission intensity of sightseeing buses in Hawai'i: 387.624 tons

Sources: 1-5, U.S. DOE, Energy In­formation Administration; 6-8, DOE Carbon Dioxide Informa­tion Analysis Center; 9-11, State of Hawai'i Data Book; 72-13, Univer­sity of Hawai'i Economic Research Organization

6 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

Filling the renewable gap PAT TUMMONS

State Jaw requires utilities to have at least 20 percent of their net electricity sales generated by renewable resources by the year 2020. But nearly 90 percent of Hawai 'i's electrical power came from petroleum in 2005. Utilities are activating. Kaua'i Island Utility Co­op has committed to producing 50 percent of its elec­tricity from renewable, non-fossil-fuel sources within 15 years. Wind farms have been built, refurbished, or are being planned on Maui, Hawai 'i, and O'ahu. The City and County of Honolulu is planning to·increase electrical generation from municipal solid waste. And HECO is planning to build a 110-megawatt biodiesel­fueled plant at Kalaeloa.But HECO's fuel choice is controversial palm oil. According to Greenpeace, some 1. 8 billion tons a year of methane, a potent greenhouse gas, is released as forests are cleared to make way for oil palm plantations. And a biofue!-spurred spike in de­mand is rendering this staple cooking oil unaffordable to the word's poor.

As for the cultivation of biofuels locally, William Steiner, dean of the University of Hawai'i-Hilo Col-

lege of Agriculture, forestry, and Natural Resource Management, has obtained a lease on Big Island land to undertake a demonstration project t-0 gtow varieties of oil palm here. But some oil-rich plants (switchgrass, for example) could turn out to be invasive. And in Ha­waii, as elsewhere, more acreage put into biofuel crops could drive down cultivation of local produce and lead to food shortages. Plus, the burning of a E85, an 85 percent ethanol/ 25 percent gasoline mix, produces dangerous air pollution.

Still, Mina Morita, chair of the House Energy and Environmental Protection Committee, is optimistic about Hawai'i and energy self-sufficiency. "It's a very realistic goal because of the amount of renewables that we have," she told Environment Hawai 'i. "We don't have to look at heating costs, we have minimal cooling costs - cooling is just a matter of good design, really." •

How much have we already exceeded our 1990 footprint? The Hawai 'i Department of Business, Economic De­velopment, and Tourism has done a rough recalculation of the 1990 figures, using updated calculations of the carbon-dioxide equivalency of several important green­house gases, including methane and nitrous oxide.

According to John Tantlinger, who last month re­tired from his position as manager ofDBEDT's energy' policy and planning branch, those recalculated figures show that in 1990, Hawai'i generated 24.925 million tons of CO

2 equivalent.

By 2005, Tantlinger found, Hawai'i was generating 26.795 million tons of CO, equivalents, for an increase of7.5 percent over 15 years.Top Source: Electric Utili­ties. Responsible for a third of Hawaii's carbon weight, utilities increased emissions by nearly 15 percent from 1990 to 2005.

Runner-Up: Ground Transportation: Responsible for 19 percent of Hawai 'i's greenhouse gas emissions, cars and other road vehicles' share grew more than 28 percent from 1990 to 2005.

Air Transportation: While emissions actually declined here because aircraft have be- I come much more fuel efficient, the future remains uncertain be-cause Act 234 exempts airlines from greenhouse gas regulations. According to Robbie Alm, a mem-ber of the Greenhouse Gas Emis­sions Reduction Task Force set up by Act 234 and senior vice president for public affairs for Hawaiian Elec­tric Co., the exclusion "was done so we didn't burden the tourist industry in such a way as to drive away a por­tion of our economy, and therefore we exempted out aviation fuel."

With respect to military uses of fos­sil fuels, the data are silent

- Pat Tummons

Estimates of Hawai'i's Greenhouse Gas Emissions (in million tons of Carbon-Dioxide Equivalent)

1990 2005 Pct. Change Residential, Commercial & 1.039 2.272 118.7 Industrial Power Generation

Electric Utilities & Independent 7.885 9.039 14.7 Power Producers

Ground Transportation 3.895 4.993 28.2

Domestic Aviation & Marine 3.881 3.717 -4.2

International Aviation & Marine 6.432 4.722 -26.6

Total Energy Sector 23.132 24.744 . 7.0

Industrial Processes; Refining .00498 .00516 3.6

Cement Manufacturing .109 ( ceased 1995) -100

Municipal Solid Waste Management 1.161 1.701 46.5

Wastewater Treatment .0216 .024 10.9

Domestic Animals .274 .192 -29.9

Manure Management .129 .057 -56.2

Sugarcane Burning .032 .011 -66.2

Fertilizer Use .061 .062 2.4

Total 24.925 26.796 7.5

(Note: Figures do not include emissions for military aviation fuel, exported fuels or fuels used overseas)

Hale'iwa bags the plastic (hopefully)

CLAIRE SULLIVAN

San Francisco, Dublin, Paris ... Hale'iwa?

Hale'iwa may soon join these gor­geous, greening cities in getting rid of plastic

bags. San Francisco and Paris have banned non-biodegradable shopping bags and in

Dublin their use is taxed. But the small North Shore community is thinking

outside the bag: The Kokua Hawai'i Foundation's new project, Plastic Free

Hale'iwa, aims to reduce the con­sumption and disposal of single­

use plastics, including take-out food containers, plastic utensils

and water bottles, as well. "We are excited to work

with the local businesses and residents to make Hale'iwa an example of what is possible," says Kim Johnson, executive director of Kokua, which she founded with her husband, Jack. "With some small changes such as bringing your own bag to the store and using reusable water bottles, we can make a huge difference in our local and

global community," Johnson says, adding that the greening of

Hale'iwa fits the Foundation's mis­sion of supporting environmental

education in Hawai'i's schools and the larger community.

In a beach town like Hale'iwa, there's strong motivation to prevent the damage

caused by single-use plastics, from their origination in the petroleum industry, to health issues for consumers, to collective disposal costs and the despoliation of the marine environment, trashing the coast (and imperiling those precious tourism dollars) and harming marine animals vulnerable to entangl~ment in and inges­tion of plastics. According to the U.N., 80% of marine debris comes from land-based sources and is made up primar­ily of plastic.

While many concerned commu-

nities are addressing these challenges through government regulation, Hale'iwa is leaning to­wards voluntary collective action at this time. According to Katie Wright Pere, Kokua's di­rector of greening and events, the foundation supports regulatory proposals such as those currently before the Honolulu City Council and the Maui County Council that would ban plastic bag use. However, rather than wait for such proposals to pass, she prefers "to pursue a voluntary, community-driven campaign in which businesses sign on willingly, once they understand the negative impacts of their current practices, and appreciate the positive branding and community benefits of switching to reus­able and biodegradable options."

In December, Kokua presented this idea to the Board of the North Shore Chamber of Com­merce, which was receptive. Before the end of January, they will present the proposal to the full Chamber membership. One Hale'iwa busi­ness, Growing Keiki, is already fully on board. "If businesses start it, that's where people get ideas" that can inspire lifestyle changes, says owner Lee Roy.

To get things going, the foundation's strategy is to provide alternatives, helping businesses connect with vendors for reusable shopping bags and beverage bottles and biodegradable food wares. While businesses are welcome to sell any reusable shopping bags, Kokua is en­couraging them to sell one with a 'Plastic Free

Where to Get Reusable Bags and Credit for Reusing In local stores Kokua Market: Sells a range of bags, from netted to canvas at $5-$20 each. Kokua gives one stamp per reusable bag/container customers bring (this in­cludes bringing one's own jar for peanut butter, liq­uids, etc. Some customers receive up to 25 stamps per shopping trip). After acquiring 100 stamps, Kokua takes $1.00 off the next shopping purchase.

Down to Earth: Sells canvas bags at $10 each The store gives five cents credit per bag per shopping trip.

Foodland & Star Markets: Both sell two bags for $3.00, give five cents credit.

Times Supermarket: Sells bags at $1.99 each. Five cents credit.

Longs Drugs: Sells bags for 99 cents. No store credit.

~dable containers, utensils, & serving ware biobagusa.com worldcentric.org

Sharing surplus plastic bags The McCully-Mo'ili'ili and Kailua Libraries have informal plastic bag drop-offs/pick-ups. Drop off extra plastic bags you don't need so others can re­use those bags and tote their books home (or get grocery store credit for reusing bags). ·

Online (look for organic cotton and/or post-consumer-re­cycled materials)

lOOlbags.com bagsontherun.com enviro-tote.com gogreenbag.com inyourfacegreen.com olivesmart.com oneorganicearth.com organicbags.net papernorplastic.com rejavanate.com reusablebags.com thegreenbag.org

Hale'iwa' logo, designed by local artist Heather Brown, which will clearly mark them as part of the campaign.

A caveat: It's true that the cur­rent answer to the paper-versus­plastic debate-"neither, reusable please"-does not result in zero ecological impact. Among reus­able materials, non-organic cotton is grown with synthetic pesticides and fertilizers, and polypropylene mesh, however durable, is a petro­leum product, nonetheless. Nor can

we completely rely on biodegrad­ables, which do not biodegrade well in a municipal landfill and require industrial scale composting facili­ties (and curbside compost pick­up!). However, reuse dramatically reduces the volume of waste head­ing to the landfill-and the ocean. And bags and other wares made of post-consumer-waste, recycled ma­terials are the best choice yet, and we can trust that Kokua and others are on the lookout for these green­est wares. •

ADVANCE YOUR NURSING CAREER

A Master of Science in Nursing from Hawai'i Pacific University provides a solid foundation in advanced practice nursing.

Free Information Reception: WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, 6 p.m.

The Pineapple Room (Macy's Ala Moana)

Call 543-8035 to reserve your seat.

HPU Nursing programs are accredtted by the National League for Nursing Accredttation Commission (NLNAC).

Hawai'i Pacific University Center for Graduate and ·Adult Services

Call 544-1135 or visit www.hpu.edu/msn

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 7

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Film Hurrah for Bollywood! ·

I ndia makes well over 700 films a year, eclipsing the output of any other country.

And it's invented a movie genre­one that in the last few years has proved, as unlikely as it seems, to be popular worldwide. Now the Hono-

lulu Academy of Arts, under the tute­lage of Gina Caruso, has organized the Bollywood Film Festival, a retro­spective of Bollywood flicks from January 26 to February 2nd, ranging from 1960 to 2007. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll enter a near surreal world.

For the uninitiated, Bollywood­ers are extravaganzas-melodra­matic, comic, and lavish beyond compare, with plenty of singing, dancing, and opulent costuming. Nearly everyone in the cast(s) breaks into elaborate song and dance at the drop of a sari.

Visually, it looks like a '50s Holly­wood musical on ste­roids-a swirl of color and sound and chore­ography.

These films embrace all storytelling genres, and occasionally in the same production in­clude love, mistaken identities, action scenes (with singing) and over­the-top acting. Guess what? It all works. The source material is often Indian tales and leg­ends, but some films borrow from Western sources as well.

The Weekly will. re­s Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

JANUARY 23-JANUARY 29 Gigs 10 Concerts e Clubs/ On Sale 11 Theater 6 Dance/Museums 12 Galleries/ Words/Learning 14 Keiki 6 'Ohana/Botanical/Hikes e Excursions/Food 6 Drink/Whatevahs/Volunteer/ Sports/Neighbors/Mixed Media 16 Films 17

view the films under consideration, and suggest that you see as many of these cinematic wonders as you can-they can be addictive. The retrospective will also bring along an expert: Shiraz Jivani, a cinema theater impresario, who will discuss the genie and its popularity on opening night.

-Bob Green

Doris Duke Theatre, Honolulu Acad­emy of Art, 900 S. Beretania (entrance on Kinau St.), Sat 1/26-Sat. 2/2, various times, $5-$7, honoluluacade­my.org, 532-8700

Concerts

Moshin' for Jesus

0 ne of the many advantages of Honolulu's geographic isolation is that it get a whole

lot of concerts from quality indie bands on their way to or from Asia and Australia. MxPx is the latest transient outfit to stop off here, and they're set to bring their So-Cal

skate punk sound to Pipeline Cafe on Friday.

The Bremerton, Washington outfit started as a trio of 15-year­olds in 1992, and by 1993 were picked up by Tooth & Nail Re­cords. They later scored a distribu­tion deal with A&M Records, a deal that got them the exposure that allowed them to tour around tlie world. Some fans might be sur­prised to learn that MxPx is billed as a Christian Punk band (or that there is even such a genre). It seems to matter little, however, as their fans remain legion and their music filled with pop punk hooks keep the kids thrashing about in the pit at their shows.

MxPx will be coming off a Japan tour, and the one Honolulu show will probably be a warm up for their European tour in February, in sup­port of their new SideOneDummy Records release Secret Weapon. Christian punk, skate punk, pop punk or whatever, MxPx is a survi­vor of the indie explosion of the '90s and they are as good a reason to get your mosh on as any.

-Jamie Winpenny

Pipeline Cafe 805 Pohukaina St., Fri 1125, 6PM, $20, all ages, 808shows. com, 924-3000

From the city of harmony

T he greatest misconceptions about classical music are that it is stodgy, musty, airless and

boring (pick your pejorative). A cur­sory survey of the works of composers such as Vivaldi, Saints-Saens, and Beethoven, however, reveals music so charged with vibrancy and the inten­sity oflife that it is almost overwhelm­ing. And at the risk of coming across as elitist, even the most trifling pieces of music from any of the above com­posers are bound to contain more nu­ance than say the average Rihanna song. This is music that exalts the spirit, that burns in the blood, and it is more than a little disheartening that the genre has become steadily mar­ginalized in its HPR ghetto at the end of the radio dial.

But take heart, for out of Venice comes lnterpreti Veneziani, a baroque ensemble which internalizes all of the intrinsic drama and romance of the compositions of the old masters and translates them into performances of immense skill and energy. Interpreti Veneziani has been dismantling pre­conceived notions of classical music for the past twenty years and they will now have the chance to do the same

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

for Honolulu when the ensemble is hosted by the University ofHawai'i at MDnoa's Orvis Auditorium.

-Matthew Martin

Orvis Auditorium, UH-Miinoa, Tue. 1/29, 7:30PM, $20-$35, eticketha­waii.com, 483-7123

Art Sophisticated Sandona

T he art of portraiture is almost as old as visual culture itself, for images of individuals are

important placeholders in history, par­ticularly for those who understand the power of the portrait to provide a counterbalance to fading memory and relentless mortality. Often a curious admixture of sentiment and vanity, realism and idealism, the pomait, par­ticularly the society pomait-images of those for whom status is assured­can be an essential artifact of both so­cial order and historic moment.

Matteo Sandona and Hawai'i: A Capi­tol Ambition, now current at the Ho­nolulu Academy of Arts, documents just such a phenomenon: the conver-

gence of a gifted portrait painter and clients in the upper ranks of early 20th century island society. Sandona (1881-1964), who emigrated from Ita­ly co San Francisco in the 1890s and quickly became noted for a bold and energized approach co portrait paint­ing, made several trips to the islands between 1903 and 1920 on commis­sion by members of the Campbell and Kawananakoa families. Lacer clients included members of the Cooke, Judd and Mcfarlane families; the exhibi­tion, guest curated by Duccio Mari­gnoli, brings together some twenty paintings and drawings on paper, from a somber oil painting of Sanford B. Dole, Territorial Hawai'i's first governor, to an absolutely charming charcoal drawing of the infant Prin­cess Kapi'olani. Though the more formal painted portraits possess an undeniable gravitas, and the full­length portrait of Princess Abigail Kawananakoa is stunning (though the comparison to works by Sargent and Whistler seems a bit of a stretch), in the end it is the less ambitious but more insightful and sympathetic drawings that are most satisfying.

Done primarily in black conce crayon with restrained and selective .us<; of pastel for color, the drawings (though in some cases showing signs of age) retain a undeniable fresh­ness: a young Alice Kamokilaikawai

Campbell Macfarlane still returns our gaze with gentle hauteur, and Academy founder Anna Charlotte Rice Cooke, in widow's black, looks pensively beyond us, a still visage within a restless field of hatch marks and dark tones. -Marcia Morse

Matteo Sandona and Hawai'i: A Capital Ambition, at the Honolulu Academy of Arts through 2124, hono­luluacademy. org, 532-6091

Theater For the masses

A nyone up for an ideological debate?

Old fashioned clashes with new passion starting this Thursday (and continuing through February 24th) as The Actors Group opens Mass Appeal, written by Bill C. Da­vis and directed by Brad Powell. Ethical questions in the play are bound to get your gears turning about life, liberty and the pursuit of all who threaten it.

The production features Brother Gary Morris as Father Farley, a priest caught up in the policies of the pul­pit, and Blaze Mancillas as Deacon Mark Dolson, the young new semi­narian who brashly challenges his elder. Morris is the Head of the Dra­ma Department at Chaminade Uni­versity and Mancillas just returned from intensive cheater training over the summer in San.Francisco.

The New York Times has said chat the play "hovers between black hu­mor and practical wisdom," and that dichotomy is what fuels the plot as two personalities collide: the older priest who teeters on compromising his faith and· the young seminarian who attacks in attempt to force sal­vation. They each try to impose their notions of right and wrong upon the other, and ultimately ,(and uninten­tionally) end up with new definitions , altogether. Desuuccion is, after all, a form of creation, right? Come down to The Yellow Bdck Studio to see the dueling mores and the satisfying ending chat pays off .

. -Megan Rooney

The Yellow !Jrick Studio, 625 Keawe St., 1/25-2/24, Thu.-Sat. at 7:30PM, Sun. at 4PM, $12-$15, taghalfltlii.net/. OrderTickets.html, 722-6941 •

thirtyninehotel y:: art • music • food • culture

* untie my troop

Hungry? • Hours of Happiness: Tues-Fri 5pm-9pm * rearrange the letters to spell a secret message ... anagram answer posted at: http://www. thirtyninehotel.coml weeklyl

General Hours: Tues-Sat 4pm-2am 39 n. hotel st honolulu HI 96817 · (808)599-2552 · www.thirtyninehotel.com available for private events: [email protected]

LAZAR BEAR & SIERRA NEVADA PRESENTS 2 TOURS WITH ROCK & BLUES LEGEND

· Oahu, Hawaiian Hut- Jan 31 Kauai, KCC Performing Am Center · Jon. 30 Moul. Maul Aris & CulTural Center - Feb. l Big Island, Palace Theater - Feb. 2

Oahu, Hawaiian Hut - Feb. 29 Kauai, KCC Performing Aris Center • Feb. 28 Big Island, Palace Theater - Mor. l Maul. Maul Aris & Cultural Center • Mor. 2

;.. "ft', f J /! //~ _ // & THE MAUI TRIBE Opening the JAMES COTTON Tour with o spec10

. ; 1wuue1\. BLUES BAND appearancebyTrav1SHadd1xonJan 31

:~ INFO&TICKETS: LAZARBEAR.COM or HAWAIISBESTTICKETS.COM • Outlets: liquor Collection; HungrY. Ear; Jelly's-Aiea; Good Guys Music;

Rainbow Books; Hawaii Natural High; CR Imports

CHARGE BY PHONE: 808-545-2980 - LAZARBEAR.COM "KEEPING THE MUSIC LIVE'

www.honoluluweeldy.com • January 23-29, 2008 • ........_ W..ldy 9

Smiling Eyes O'TooLE's lRistt PUB is already known by the masses for its intimate setting and live music seven nights a week. Ireland's always on the mind of the establishment, but it's also always thinking about beer (much like most of Ireland). If there's something that goes well with a good Guinness, it's a good toast. That's why O'Toole' s Countdown to Saint Patrick's Day starts six month before the date in March.

The other half is spent recovering from Saint Patrick's Day. Part of said countdown is the monthly Guinness Irish Toast Contest

Running for four years now, this year's contest is in its final throes, with the final contest slated for the third Saturday of February. Then, poets, musicians and people who have good things to say about good beer will gather to compete for the grand prize of a trip for two to Las Vegas, (though only for airfare and hotel stay at Fitzgerald's, for any­thing else the winner will have to hope the luck of the Irish holds out.) But even those who don't win, or even make the qualifying rounds have something to raise their glass for, as every participant gets a free Guinness to toast with and a souvenir English pint glass (none of this 12-ounce crap) to take home.

If you're expecting an elegant, if slightly slurred rendition of Seamus Heaney, you're right. But it's more than that. Limericks, dirty jokes, well-wishes, reminiscences and simple good tidings are all common, • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • all conducted with glass in hand.

O'Toole's Irish Pub Guinness Toast Contest 902 Nuuanu Ave.

Getting In: Every Third Satur­day from September 17 through St. Patrick's Day, 7:30PM, 21+ Dress Code: Green, white and orange Soundtrack: The melodic buzzing in your own head, supplemented by Irish tunes Sightings: Friends of St. Patrick Signature Drink: Take a wild guess, genius

"Some people just get up and say 'here's to beer' because they want that free Guinness," says co­owner Bill Comerford. "And that's perfectly fine. That's the whole idea-to get people involved and provide something where every­body has a good time."

Last Saturday's toasting in­volved everything from a passion­ate acknowledgement to the im­portance of mothers, to a slightly randy noting of friends, former and present, to the old adage involving one Fuzzy Wuzzy, a bear whose moniker didn't really fit. It's de­signed that way-you don't need and ancient profound Celtic bless­

ing to qualify, or even to win: It's all about the delivery. An impas­sioned impression of Homer Simpson's immortal line, "To Alcohol! The problem of, and solution to, all of life's problems" had a chance of winning on this evening.

Not to suggest that it's always going to be that easy. Contestant num­bers have varied from six to 25. One year's final round, featuring a UH professor and a musician, went into sudden death overtime after judges and audiences were unable to declare a winner. The deciding factor happened after one person involuntarily coughed during his delivery, costing him the grand prize.

The final qualifying round is slated for Feb. 16, giving people plenty of time to work their words, practice their delivery and build up a toler­ance so that they don't flub their lines from raising their glasses to all the toasts which came before their tum. Just be warned: I plan on winning this. -Dean Carrico

lO l!ooolulc Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

, ..

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THE SCENE

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Gigs 23/Wednesday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Arnold's Beach Bar (7pm) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN 3 Scoops of Aloha, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawai­ian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Beach S, Gordon Biersch (7pm) 599-4877 Ka'ala Boys and The Country Kickers, Shera­ton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Brothers Cazlmero, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Alnaley Halemanu and Ka Llko O Kapalal, Kiihiii Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Stephen Inglis, Cha Cha Cha Salsaria (6pm) 395.7797 Kalmana, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Sam Kapu Tllo, Banyan Cottrt, Moana Sttrfrider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Lawrence Kidder, Banyan Court, Moana Sur­frider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Oplhl Pickers, Ryan's Grill (9pm) 591-9132 Ellsworth Simeona, D11ke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Ellsworth Simeona, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Ray Sowders, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Tang! Tully, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Shella Walwalole I Mara &agpolu, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268

JAZZ/BLUES James Crimes, Diamond Head Grill (8pm) 922-1700 The Deadbeat Revival, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 DeShannon Higa I grOOve.lmProV.arTISts, Hanohano Room (6:30pm) 922-4422 Howard Nett I Zig Noda, Brasserie Du Vin (7pm) 545-1115 Shiro Mori, Byron Yasui, Robert Shinoda, Honolttltt Cl11b (6:30pm) 543-3916 J.P. Smoketraln, Formaggio Wine Bar (8:30pm) 739.7719

ROCK/POP 2 Point 5, Chart Ho11se (7pm) 941-6660 Guy Cruz and Friends, OnStage Drinks & Grinds (9pm) 306-7799 Dragonfly w/ Amber, Amuse Wine Bar (7:30pm) 237-5429 Mike Love, Indigo (8:30pm) 521-2900 Tom Patrick, Mttddy Waters Espresso (7pm) 254-2004 Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Tavana, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138

VARIOUS Royal Hawaiian Band, Ala Moana Centerstage (2pm) 946-2811

WORLD/REGGAE Guidance, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600 Doolin Rakes, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Sahra lndlo, Kalkua, Tropics Cafe Bar & Lounge (9pm) 927-1797

24/Thursday HAWAIIAN 3 Scoops of Aloha, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Aunty Genoa Keawe's Hawaiians, Moana Ter­race (6pm) 922-6611 David A1lng Duo w/Hula, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (8:30pm) 923-7311 Ka'ala Boys, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pinJ 931-4660 Sam Kapu Trio, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (3pm) 923-7311 Kelly Delima 'Ohana, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Lawrence Kidder, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268 Eric Lee, Banyan Cottrt, Moana Surfrider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Pa'ahana Trio, Banyan Court, Moana Surf rider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Ellsworth Simeona I Lawrence Kidder, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Ray Sowders, Lo'i Lounge, Waiki-~i Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 "Auntie Placlgle" Young and Hawaiian Serenad­ers, Kiihio Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002

JAZZ/BLUES Bobby Cortezan, Hank's Cafe (5pm) 526-1410 Rachel Gonzales, Soul de Cuba Cafe (6pm) 545-CUBA DJ Miki Mlxtup w/ Randy WhHler, Glen Col, len, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Newjass Quartet, Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar (10pm) 536-6286 Chris Yeh Quartet w/ Satoml, The Dragon Upstairs (8pm) 526-1411 MoJo Remedy, Muddy Waters Espresso (7pm) 254-2004 J.P. Smoketraln, Formaggio Grill (8:30pm) 263-2633 Ginny nu, Hanohano Room (6pm) 922-4422

ROCK/POP 2 Point S, Chart House (7:30pm) 941-6660 Barefoot Bob, Arnold's Beach Bar (6:30pm) 924-6887 Brendan, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Booze Brothers, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 "Chicago Bob" Morgenweck, Hank's Cafe (8pm) 526-1410 Guy Cnaz, Gordon Biersch (7pm) 599-4877 Cummings and Goings, Anna Bannana's (8pm) 946-5190 EIQah, Muddy Waters Espresso (7pm) 254-2004 Hardest Hearts, Kainoa's (10pm) 637-7787 Johnny Helm, Tiki's Grill & Bar (9pm) 923-8454 Mango Jam, Chuck's Cellar (6pm) 923-4488 Joe Kingston, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Melveen Leed, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 John Valentine, Breakers, Hale'iwa (8:30pm) 637-9898 Ben Vegas I Malla, Kincaid's (7:15pm) 591-2005 Swampa ZZ, Indigo (10:30pm) 521-2900

VARIOUS Open Mlc·Nlght, Boardrider's (9pm) 261-4600

WORLD/REGGAE Partners In Time, rRed Elephant (7:30pm) 545-2468 Pressure Drop, Crucial MedHatlon, Pipeline Cafe (9pm) 589-1999

25/Friday COMEDY Comedy Cnasaders lmprov Troupe, Sharkcy's Comedy Club @ Panama Hattie's (7:30pm) 531-HAHA

HAWAIIAN David Aslng I Kamuela Kahoano, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Nathan Aweau, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Barry Choy, Don Ho's Island Grill (5pm) 528-0807 Kahlau, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Kalaeloa, Compadres (9pm) 591-8307 Kapena, Gordon Biersch (9pm) 599-4877 Sam Kapu, Sheraton Princess Ka'ittlani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Mike Keale, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Kelly Delima 'Ohana, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Lawrence Kidder, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Maunalua, D11ke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Naluhoe, Kona Brewing Co. (7pm) 394-5662 Kale Pawal, Kiihio Beach Hilla Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Peter MIio Duo, Sam Choy's Breakfast, Lunch and Crab (6pm) 545-7979 Plllkla, Chart House (6pm) 941-6660 Pu'uhonua Trio, Banyan Gour; Moana Surf rider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268

JAZZ/BLUES Boogle's Blues, Muddy Waters Espresso (8pm) 254-2004 Breezln, Hanohano Room (9pm) 922-4422 Bobby Cortezan, The Dragon Upstairs (6pm) 526-1411 Pierre Grlll I Glnal, The Dragon Upstairs (10pm) 526-1411 grOOve.lmProV.arTISts, Lotus Soundbar (10:30pm) 924-1688 Hawal'I Blues Festival, Campus Center, UH­Mtinoa (12pm) Molokai Jazz West, Don Ho's Island Grill (5pm) 528-0807 Justice Moon I Dorian Wrlght,Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9:30pm) 945-0800 Black Sand, Chuck's Cellar (6pm) 923-4488 J.P. Smoketraln, Planet Hollywood (6:30pm) 924-7877 Shining Star, Ige's Restaurant (8:30pm) 486-3500 Stewart & John Duo, Due's Bistro (7pm) 531-6325 Ginny Tiu, Hanohano Room (5:30pm) 922-4422 Chris Vandercook Band, Hank's Cafe (9pm) 526-1410

ROCK/POP 4D, Bob's Sports Bar (9:30pm) 263-7669 Tito Berinobis, Banyan Court, Moana Surf rider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Brendan, Kelley O'Neil's (1:30am) 926-1777 Sherrlf Brown, Kainoa's (9pm) 637-7787 Cecilio I Kompany, Gordon Biersch (5:30pm) 599-4877 Dean & Dean, Chart House (9:30pm) 941-6660 Elephant, Kemo'o Farms, Pub (9pm) 621-1835 Jay Elliot, O'Toole's Pub (5pm) 536-4138 Broken Gian, Sand Island R&B (9pm) 847-5001 · Go Jimmy Go, Hale'iwa Joe's, North Shore (10pm) 637-8005 The Mixers, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 MxPx, Unit 101, 82Flfty, Pipeline Cafe (6pm) 589-1999 PmN Brolhers, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Stumbletown, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Natural T, Arnold's Beach Bar (9pm) 924-6887 Santana Tribute Band, Anna Bannana's (9pm) 946-5190 Ben Vegas & Malla, Kincaid~ (8:30pm) 591-2005

VARIOUS Karaok• Kahoa, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Royal Hawaiian Band, lolani Palace (12pm) 523-4674

26/Saturday HAWAIIAN Karla Akiona, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Baron Bento, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4:15pm) 923-ml Bary Choy, Don Ho's Island Grill (5pm) 528-0807 Nohelanl Cyprlano Trio, Banyan Court, Moana Surfrider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Haumea & Weymouth, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Stephen Inglis, Roy's (6pm) 396-7697 Sonny Kalua, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Kapl'olanl Ha'o, Kiihiii Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Sam Kapu, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Ledward Ka'apana, Waikiki Beach Walk (4pm) Eric Lee, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Maunalua, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Mike Ka'awa, Moa,ia Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Cyrl Pahlnui, Borders, Ward Centre (8pm) 591-8995 Chad Pule, Ba11yan Court, Moana Surfrider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Tau Greig Duo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Sean Tiwanak & Friends, Kona Brewi11g Co. (7pm) 394-5662 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268

JAZZ/BLUES Hawal'I Blues Festival, Ward's Rafters (6pm) 734-0397 Hawal'I Blues Festival, Bar 35 (9pm) 537-3837 Fernando Jones, Bar 35 (10pm) 537-3837 MIiestone Jazz Quintet, Cobalt Lounge at the Hanohano Room (9pm) 922-4422 Molokai Jazz West, Don Ho's Island Grill (5pm) 528-0807 Jeff Peterson, Borders, Ward Centre (8pm) 591-8995 Black Sand, Chuck's Cellar (6pm) 923-4488 J.P. Smoketrain, Planet Hollywood (6:30pm) 924-7877 Stawmt & John Duo, Due's Bistro (7pm) 531-6325 Ginny Tiu, Hanohano Room (5:30pm) 922-4422 Chris Yeh Trio, Soul de C11ba Cafe (10:30pm) 545-CUBA

ROCK/POP 20 Degrees North, Tiki's Grill & Bar (7:30pm) 923-8454 4D, Bob's Sports Bar (9:30pm) 263-7669 82Flfty, Kainoa's (9pm) 637-7787 Analog, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Tito Berlnobls, Chart House (7:30pm) 941-6660 Black Square, Golfcart Rebellion, Dolls Till Daylight, Violetta Beretta, Anna Ba,mana's (8pm) 946-5190 Barefoot Bob, Hank's Cafe (8pm) 526-1410 Brendan, Kelley O'Neil's (1:30am) 926-1777 Edgewater, Ki11caid's (8:30pm) 591-2005 Johnny Helm, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454 Johnny Helm, Holokai Grill (9:30pm) 924-7455 Jason & Jerry, Dave Young Band, Guy Cruz & Friends, OnStage Drinks & Grinds (8pm) 306-7799 Joe Kingston, Sheraton Princess Ka'i11lani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Piranha Brothers, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 Resistor, Gordon Biersch (8:30pm) 599-4877 That Big 80s Show w/ Atlantic Starr, Stevie B., Angel, Pipeline Cafe (8pm) 589-1999 Natural T, Arnold's Beach Bar (9pm) 924-6887 John Valentine & Kristina Acldera, Sam Choy's Breakfast, Lunch and Crab (6pm) 545-7979

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THI SCINI

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• VARIOUS O'ahu Songwriters Group, Hank's Cafe (8:30pm) 526-1410

WORLD/REGGAE Ions, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9:30pm) 945-0800 Kawao, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Doolin Rakes, O'Toole's P11b (9pm) 536-4138

27/Sunday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Hank's Cafe (6pm) 526-1410

HAWAIIAN Mel Amina, Surf Room, Royal Hawaiian (11am) 921-4600 Danlel Corpus-Cleaver & Jeremy Narca, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Moml Cruz-Losano, Kiihiii Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002 Sista Robl Kahakalau & Friends, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Kalmana, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Sonny Kalua, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Lawrence Kidder, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268 Ledward Ka'apana, Kona Brewing Co. (6pm) 394-5662 George Kuo, Martin Pahlnui & Aaron Mahl, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Pu'uhonua Trio, Banyan Court, Moana Surf rider (5:30pm) 922-3111

JAZZ/BLUES Rico, Arnold's Beach Bar (8pm) 924-6887 Rico, Muddy Waters Espresso (1pm) 254-2004 J.P. Smoketraln, Tsunami's (7pm) 923-8848 Jon B11eb11e, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Wut, Muddy Waters Espresso (7pm) 254-2004

ROCK/POP BTR, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Dean & Dean, Chart Horm (6pm) 941-6660 James & Jamie, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 Henry Kapono, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Joe Kingston, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Sidewinders, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 Stardust, Hanohano Room (7:30pm) 922-4422 Ryan Tang, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (4:15pm) 923-7311

• pin one

A SELECTIVE GUIDE TO DJ NIGHTS WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23 ACID WASH INDUSTRY NIGHT (8os)@Next Door wl DJs G-Spot, Vegas Mike, Nocturna, Quiksilva BIG WEDNESDAYS @ The o Lounge COUNTRY NIGHT@ Kahuna's KMCB DJ BRENT (dance)@ Anna Bannana's HIP HOP HUMP! @ Hula's Bar and Lei Stand MINI SKIRTS AND MARTINIS@ Zanzabar OVER THE HUMP WEDNEZDAYS (mix tape night)@ Just One DJ RASTA VIBES@ Boardriders RECESS@ Venus Nightclub w/ DJs Betty, Technique SALSA@Panama Hattie's w/ Son Caribe SOULGASM-HAWAl'I @ Lotus Sound Bar WET 'N' WILD WEDNESDAYS@ Venus w/ DJs K-Smooth and Mixmaster B WIPEOUT WEDNESDAYS@Eastside Grill wl DI Troy Michael and Guest DJs

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24 CANCUN THURSDAYS @Senor Frogs CASUAL THURSDAYS@Fashion 4S DJ DANCAH (hip hop)(Sos)@ Boardriders THE FURNACE @ The Living Room (downstairs) HNL@NextDoor UVE IN THE MIX@TheOlounge w/ Mr. Goodvybe & Kutmaster Spaz REDDA FIRE (reg7ae) (dancehall)@ The Living Room at Fisherman s Wharf SALSA AFTER HOURS@ Illusions TAKE IT OFF THURSDAYS@ Cellar Nightclub THILLER THURSDAYS @ Boardrlders w/ DJs G-Spot, Quiksilva THIRSTY THURSDAYS (hip-hop) (house) (trance)@ Zanzabar

FRIDAY, JANUARY 25 BUTTER @ E & O Trading Company w/ DJs Delve 1Der,XL CHEMISSTRY @ Cafe Sistinas THE ORCUS @ Cirque Hawai'i w/ DJ Ml

John Valentine, Banyan Court, Moana Surf rider (8:30pm) 922-3111 John Valentine, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (2pm) 923-7311

VARIOUS Footnotes, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Royal Hawaiian Band, Kapi'olani Park Band­stand (8am & 2pm) 523-4674

WORLD/REGGAE Cattle Waves, Kelley O'Neil's (4pm) 926-1777

28/Monday COUNTRY/FOLK The Geezers, Arnold's Beach Bar (7pm) 924-6887

HAWAIIAN Pacific Blu, Banyan Court, Moana Sur/rider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Brown Boys Duo, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (3pm) 923-7311 Christian & Sanl, Moana Terrace (6:30pm) 922-6611 Stephen Inglis, Hale Koa (5pm) Jerry Santos, Hoku Zuttermelster, Barry Klmokeo, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Art Kalahiki & Mike Saffrey, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (8:30pm) 923-7311 Nii Kama, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Sam Kapu Trio, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Mike Keale, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Kelly DeLlma 'Ohana, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Albert Magllmat, Banyan Court, Moana Sur­/rider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Ellsworth Simeona, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 Tang! Tully, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (9:30pm) 931-4660 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (10pm) 922-2268

JAZZ/BLUES Evidence of Flava, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Ginny Tiu, Hanohano Room (6pm) 922-4422

ROCK/POP Analog, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 BTR, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 Johnny Helm, Lu/11's Waikiki (7:30pm) Mike Love, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138 John Valentine, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422

DELIOOUS @ Aarons DISCO BALL @Hula's Bar and Lei Stand w/ DJ AL-X DOUBLE JOY (unclassic disco)@thirtyninehotel w/ DJs Chittom, Duck ENTERPRISE @ lo~ w/ DJs Eskae, Davey Shindig, Matt Ratt, Ross Jackson, Vagina FOREPLAY FRI DAZE@ Pipeline w/ Mike D and DJ Wu-Chang FREAKS COME OUT FRIDAYS@Cellar Nightclub FRIDAYS @Lulu's w/ DJs Gary 0, Subo F.U.B.A.R. FRIDAYS @ Fashion 45 THE GARAGE@ Tio's Garage S Taco Station w/ DJs 45 Revolver, Check-one THE GENDER BENDERS@ Fusion Waikiki GET FRESH!@ Indigo w/ DJs G-Spot, Compose, Eskae, Sovern T THE GO AHEAD (Bos)@ Lava Rock Lounge w/ DJs Vagina, Casey, Cootie, Dougie, Monkey HEAT (hip hop) (reggae) (island jams)@ Don Ho's w/ DJ Hong LA ZONA LATINA (latin)@Panama Hattie's LIMELIGHT (hip-hop) (r&b) (8os)@The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf 0 SNAP@ 0 Lounge PARADISE@ Venus w/ DJs Technique, Krazy K and Edit THE PLAY GROUND @The W Hotel w/ DJs Lost Boy, Compose, Delverder, XL PURO PARTY LAilNA@Panama Hatties RENDEZVOUS FRIDAYS (hip hop)(R&B)@ Zanzabar ROCK STAR FRIDAYS (rock) (rap) {reggae)@ BrewMoon DJ RUDE DOGG, DJ MASilR MIND(hlp-hop) (reggae) (R&B) (Top 40)@ Da Big Kahuna DJ RYAN-SEAN (~)(mash-up)@Aarons atop the Ala Moana Hotel SALSA NIGHT@ The Hanohano Room, Sheraton Waikiki w/ Son Caribe SAMBA@ Cafe Che Pasta SOUL CLAP@ thirtyninehotel w/ DJs Eskae, Ross Jackson, Vagina, Kause SOUTH BEACH (mash-up)(hi-hop) (downtempo) (trip-hop) @Ciao Mein SPICE LOUNGE@ E&O Trading Company T SPOT (dance)@ Kapolei Shopping Center w/ Rizon WONDERFUL (downtempo) (mash-up) (SO$)@ Zanzabar wt DJs ryan-Sean, Mike D

SATURDAY, JANUARY 26 CREAM (Sos)@ Lily Kol Lounge DJ AL-X@ Hula's Bar and Lei Stand DJ JONATHAN DOE@Breakers DJ ROD el MORENO (Salsa)@Dream to Dance

VARIOUS Open Mic Night, Anna Bannana's (9pm) 946-5190

29/Tuesday HAWAIIAN Robert Cazlmero, Chai's Bistro (7pm) 585-0011 Tava'eslna, Sheraton Waikiki (6pm) 922-4422 Shawn lshlmoto, Banyan Court, Moana Sur­/rider (8:30pm) 922-3111 Kalmana, Sheraton Princess Ka'iulani (6:15pm) 931-4660 Kapala Trio, Banyan Court, Moana Sur/rider (5:30pm) 922-3111 Mike Keala, Lo'i Lounge, Waikiki Beach Mar­riott (4pm) 922-6611 Kelly DeLlma 'Ohana, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawaiian (7:30pm) 923-7311 Christopher Lau & Walt Keala, Hula Grill (7pm) 923-HULA Eric Lee, Sheraton Waikiki (8:30pm) 922-4422 Ellsworth Simeona, Mai Tai Bar, Royal Hawai­ian (4:15pm) 923-7311 Haumea Warrington, Duke's Waikiki (4pm) 922-2268 "Auntie Pudgle" Young and Hawaiian Ser· enaders, Kiihiii Beach Hula Stage (6pm) 843-8002

JAZZ/BLUES Gilbert Batangan Quartet, Jazz Minds Arts & Cafe (9pm) 945-0800 Noly Pa'a, Hanohano Room (6pm) 922-4422 Rico, Arnold's Beach Bar (6pm) 924-6887 J.P. Smoketraln, Planet Hollywood (6:30pm) 924-7877 Toyz of Pleasure, Indigo (8:30pm) 521-2900

ROCK/POP Analog, Irish Rose Saloon (9pm) 947-3414 At Sea, ctrl+AH+Del, Matt Hopper, Next Door (9pm) 548-NEXT BBC, Hank's Cafe (8:30pm) 526-1410 Brendan & Dewing Time, Kelley O'Neil's (9pm) 926-1777 DNA, Chart House (7pm) 941-6660 Soulbucket, Moana Terrace (6pm) 922-6611 Tavana, O'Toole's Pub (9pm) 536-4138

VARIOUS O'ahu Songwriters Group, rRed Elephant (6:30pm) 545-2468 Open Mic Night, OnStage Drinks & Grinds (8pm) 306-7799

WORLD/REGGAE Freesound, Tiki's Grill & Bar (5pm) 923-8454

C is for Cookiehead

As a youth, DJ Cookiehead Jenkins knew he was born to rock the ones and twos after digging through a friend's record crate filled with priceless rare groove and old school albums.

After interning at a mainstream radio station for a minute, he left unimpressed. He soon found his calling and the freedom all DJs yearn foratKTUH.

"They select and play music from their own collections," says the DJ

DRAGONFLY @the W Honolulu w/ Kurious Productions ELECTRO·L YFE@ Indigo w/ DJs Vince, Gonzalez, Toki FIRE (hip hop)(reggae)(R&B)@ Lulu's FLY @Cirque Hawai'i HOUSE OF ISIS@ Zanzabar I-DELIVER ENT @ Just One w/ DJ Phil MAD HAmR & STYLISH T@ Aaron's MONKEY BAR @Ciao Mein PAPERDOLL REVUE@Fusion Waikiki THE REMEDY @the W Hotel w/Profound Entertainment and DJs Mix master Band Jrama

Concerts 6 Clubs A Vlrtual Experience: Bach Meets the 21st Century! Three generations of organ­ists will perform on an organ system which looks, sounds and feels like a real pipe organ using only a MIDI keyboard, computer and virtual software. Seto Hall, 'lolani School: Sat 1/26, (5:30PM.) Free. DJ Dimitri Ze French DJ returns to Honolulu. Get tix at groovetickets.com. Next Door, 43 N. Hotel St.: Fri 1/25, (8PM.) $10 pre-sale. 548-NEXT Hot Latin Tuesdays Free lessons start at 8pm for Hawai'i's longest-running Latin night. Zanzabar, Waikiki Trade Center, 2255 Kiihio Ave.: Every Tue, (8PM.) 924-3939 'i'lnterpreti Venezianl (See Hot Picks, page 8.) Orvis Auditorium, UH-Manoa: Tue 1/29, (7:30PM.) $18-$20. 944-2697 'i'MxPx (See Hot Picks, page 8.) Pipeline Cafe, 805 Pohukaina St.: Fri 1/25, (6PM.) $20 general; $45 VIP. 589-1999 The Next Movement The art/music/fashion event that happens every last Saturday of the month. This month features the launch of DISfunkshion Magazine. Next Door, 43 N. Hotel St.: Sat 1/26, (9PM.) $5 advance; $10 door. 548-NEXT Poloka Terelse Memorlal Celebration & Fundralser In memory of Pipeline Cafe's first Security Director who passed away &om can­cer in December. For tickets, call 479-6004. Pipeline Cafe, 805 Pohukaina St.: Wed 1/23, (6PM-12AM.) $10 donation. 589-1999 That Big '80s Show Starring Atlantic Starr Stevie B and Angel ("The Original Cover Girl"). Proceeds to benefit Musical Youth of Hawai'i. For tickets, go to ticketmaster.com or call (877) 750-4400. Pipeline Cafe, 805 Pohukaina St.: Sat. 1/26, (9PM.) $35-$45 gen­eral, $100 VIP. 589-1999 'i'TraYls Haddix "The Moonchild" returns to Honolulu, backed by James Ronstadt and The Dynamic Shuffle Kings for an evening of real blues. Atherton Performing Arts Studio, Hawai'i Public Radio, 738 Kaheka St.: Sat 1/26, (7:30PM.) $10-$20. 955-8821 Ween For those of you who want to prove you were the first ones into indie rock. For tickets, go to ticketmaster.com or call (877) 750-440. Pipeline Cafe, 805 Pohukaina St.: Mon 3/10., (8PM.) $28 general. $50 VIP loft. 589-1999

who's opened for Ozomatli, Eddie Bo, and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band to name a few.

"Their shows are completely original. It's rare that such a radio station exists these days."

For six strong years, the desire to provide listeners with the soundtrack for the struggle, music for the mind and bump for your trunk always came first.

Although his days at college radio ended in September, today devoted listeners and fans of everything soul, jw, funk, hip-hop, afrobeat, salsa and boogatoo can find him at sotidstatedeluxe.com and at a music minded events near you.

Check out the funk of this college radio hall of famer Saturday as fash­ion, art and groove become one at the January installment oflbe Next Movement.

-Kalani Wilhelm

Next Door, 43. N. Hotel St.: Sat. 1/26, 10PM - 4aM,, $5 presa/e, $10 door, 21+, genuinehi.com. 548-NEXT

DJ RUDE DOGG, DJ MASTER MIND (hip-hop) (reggae) (R&B) (Top 40)@ Da Big Kahuna SALSA NIGHT (reggaeton)@ Cafe Che Pasta SEXY SOUTH BEACH FIESTA (hip-hop) (R&B) (trance) (dancehall) (reggaeton) (meiengue) (bachata)@ Las Palmas w/ DJs Don Armando & Cube SPEAKEASY (house) (downtempo) (progressive)@ The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf w/ The Nltelite Crew & DI Keonl STONE GROOVE SATURDAYS (hip hop) (R&B) (rock/pop)@Panama Hatties T SPOT (dance)@ Kapolei Shopping Center w/ Quiksilva

On Sale 'i'Aglng Is Not For Sissiest Real stories told by real women provide a glimpse into the inner workings of single women 60 to 100 years old in a culture that worships youth, created and compiled by Honolulu psychologist Pratibha Eastwood. Hawai'i Pacific University Paul and Vi Loo Theatre, 45-045 Kamehameha Hwy., Kane'ohe: Sat 2/16, 7:30PM & Sun 2/17 4PM. $10-$15. 375-1282 'i'An Evening With Hot Tuna The co-found­ers of Jefferson Airplane-Jorma Kaukonen and Jack Casady-return for a smattering of shows around the Islands. Tickets available through hawaiisbesttickets.com or lazarbear. com. Hawaiian Hut, Ala Moana Hotel, 410 Atkinson Dr.: Fri 2/29, (9PM.) $45. 941-5205 'i'Anjelah Johnson The MadTV performer makes two appearances with special Dinner & Show and a later cocktail show. Tickets avail­able at Jelly's, Fl yin' Hawaiian Baloons and the UH Campus Center. Miinoa Grand Ballroom, 2454 S. Beretania St., 5th floor: Thu 2/14, (7:30 & lOPM.) $65 (7:30PM); $25 (lOPM.) Atamlra Dance Collective Maori contem­porary dance theater from New Zealand presents Ngai Tahu 32. Kennedy Theatre, UH-Manoa: Sun 2/10, (4PM.) $10-$25. etick­ethawaii.com, 483-7123 Barefoot in the Park The Neil Simon play about a newlywed couple and the hilarious havoc wreaked on their lives by living in a box of an apartment. Diamond Head The­atre, 520 Makapu'u Dr.: Fri 2/1 & Sat 2/2, 8PM; Sun 2/3, 4PM. diamondheadtheatre.com, 733-0274 Chinese Spectacular A re-creation of the ancients arts of the Tang Dynasty that will include vocalists, musicians and dancers. Part of a 65-city world tour. Blaisdell Concert Hall, 777 Ward Ave.: Mon 4/21, (7:30PM.) $38-$98. 591-2211 'i'Deepak Chopra (See Q&A, page 27.) Hawai'i Convention Center, 1801 Kalakaua Ave.: Mon 1/28, (7:30PM.) $45-$135. 'i'Hawal'I Salsa Festival With Son Cari­be, Salsa superstars Junior and Emily and Hawai'i's premier DJs. Get discounted tickets at hawaiisalsafestival.com, or call 255-8768. Queen Kapi'olani Hotel and various spots around Waikiki beach. Thu 1/31-Sun 2/2. Group and kama'aina discounts available. See website for orices and details.

Continued on Page 12

TASTE @ Aaron's Atop the Ala Moana Hotel w/ DI Ryan Sean

SUNDAY, JANUARY 27 BEACH PARTY BLAST@ Hula's Bar and Lei Stand (5PM) w/ DJ AL-X CASA (deep house)@ The lo~ DOUBLE DOUBLE SUNDAYS @Hula's Bar and Lei Stand (9PM) w/ DJ AL-X FADED FIVE (neo hip-hop) (neo soul) (RSB) @ The Living Room at Fisherman's Wharf w/ DJs Delve, Zack, Technique, JayTee, Goodvybe THE HEAVENS@ Club 939 w/ DJs K-Smooth, Mr. Goodvybe, Technique PALLADIUM NITES (Latin)@ 0 Lounge w/ DJs Don Armando S Cube RUDEGYAL RETREAT (reggae) (dancehall) (hip hop)@ Lotus Sound Bar SIZZLING SUNDAYS (dance contest) @ Zanzabarw/ DJ Mike D SOUL FOOD SUNDAY@ Just One SUNDAY NIGHT SOOAL (acid jazz) (deep house)(progressive house)@Da Big Kahuna wt DI Miki Mixtup SUNDAY SALSA@ Panama Hatties w/guestDJs TEAHOUSE DANCING (salsa)@ Queen Emma Gardens (6:30PM) w/guestDJs A TOUCH OF RED@The W Hotel

MONDAY, JANUARY 28 FLASHBAXXX @Hula's Bar and Lei stand HIP-HOP MONDAYS@ Cellar Nightclub MELLOW MONDAZE@Pipeline SALSA@ Zanzabar SHOCK MONDAYS@ Venus

TUESDAY, JANUARY 29 1/2 PRICE TUESDAYS (Latin)@ Carnaval Las Palmas at Reastaurant Row wt DJ Papi Alberto BOMBASSTIC TUESDAYS@Pipeline w/ DJ MikeD EYE CANDY @Hula's Bar and Lei Stand w/ VJ AL·X HOT LATIN TUESDAYS@Zanzabar w/ DJs Ray Cruz, Rod Moreno, Mano Lopez KALEIDOSCOPE@ Next Door KINGSTON TOWN (Teggae)@ Fashion 45s MIDNIGHT JUNKIES@ Just One/ DJ G OUTLAW NIGHT @Cellar Nightclub w/Seraps OPEN TURNTABLES (house) (breaks) (jungle) @ Anna Bannana's SALSA NIGHT@ Boardriders Promoters, get your event listed in SpinZ.one! E-mail details iwo weeks in advance to [email protected]

www.honoluluweeldy.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 11

..

'P

RACE, WE SHollL O l(rJOw

SY NOW, rs A /\1EAWINCiiLfS5 SO Cf AL cONSTF.IICT BASEO ON NOTHIN& 811T

yOI/F, ANcESTfl.AL DAIIIC RoAsT-

p fl,0 ,(( Wl(Ty ro DfEP

THE Ec211AT0fl. BAow,1-

©200 8 www. TR.ot191,fT011Jw. co~

• • • • •

Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweeldy.com

... I '

SO WE'RE TP.EltTEO To THE Em9A1tlUtSS1NGi SPECTACLf OF THE FOllmEA PA£S1DENT TR'flNGt To OIJT­SOCll. T-AfM HIS WfFf'S lfr/At.,

-:.::: ::, 0 c:· 2

From Page 11

'i'James Cotton The multi Grammy-nomi­nated blues wonderkind brings his superharp and down home rhythm and blues, transform­ing the Hawaiian Hut into a Mississippi Juke Joint. Travis Haddix opens. Tickets available at hawaiisbesttickets.com or by phone at 545-2980. Hawaiian Hut, Ala Moana Hotel, 410 Atkinson Dr.: Thu 1/31 $45. 941-5205 Kenny Rankin Rankin has played with Bob Dylan and appeared on The Tonight Show more than 20 times. Now he returns with a Valentine show that's bound to please your sweetie. Hawaii Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Thu 2/14, (7:30PM.) $19-$35. hawaiitheatre.com, 528-0506 'i'Marcli Gras Follies Jack Cione's annual extravaganza features a cast of 60 plus. Brandy Lee headlines. Hawaii Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Fri 2/1 & Sat 2/2, 7:30PM; Sun 2/3, 2PM. $23-$45. hawaiitheatre.com, 528-0506 Pan Pacific Championship Soccer fans will descend on the stadium to see some of the biggest international stars including David Beckham, Brian Ching and Satoshi Yamagu­chi. Aloha Stadium, 99-500 Salt Lake Blvd.: Wed 2/20 & Sat 2/23. $10-$60. 486-9511 'i'The Pollce Tickets sold out for the Sat­urday show the same day they went on sale. Really, are you surprised? Start scouring eBay and craigslist, and let us know if you have any extras, as long as you're not charging the same price as a house payment. Blaisdell Arena, 777 Ward Ave.: Sat 2i16 & Sun 2/17, 2008. 591-2211 'llhe Toasters Honolulu plays host to NYC old school ska band The Toasters. More infor­mation at 808shows.com. Fri. 2/1, 8PM, Anna Bannana's, 2440 S. Beretania, all ages; Sat 2/2, 10PM, Next Door, 43 N. Hotel St., 21 +. $15. 'i'War "Why can't we be friends" and jump into @Ill' "Low rider" for some "All day music"? So what if it's not "Summer"? Tickets at all tick­etmaster locations or online at kingmichelcon­certs.com. Pipeline Cafe, 805 Pohukaina St.: Thu 2/28. $35 general; $60 VIP. 589-1999 · WWE RAW Presents Road To Wresttemanla See £aves Chris Jericho and Triple H fake-punch their opponents while your your testoterone­fueled yelling cheers them on. And don't forget the ladies-Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix. Hott. Blaisdell Arena, 777 Ward Ave.: Wed 2/13, (7:30PM.) $20-$70. 591-2211

-~- - - ~ -- - ---- ----~-------

· · · · · · · · · ·,a1 ·sc1N·i· · · ·; · · · · · • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Theater 6 Dance 'i'A (Balinese) Tempest (See Hot Picks, page 8.) Kennedy Theatre, UH-Manoa: Fri 1/25 & Sat 1/26, 8PM. $5-$16. etickethawaii.com, 483-7123 'i'Doubt John Patrick Shanley's Pulitzer Prize­and Tony Award-winning play. Paranoia and pedophilia (everyone's favorite "p" words) grace the stage in a drama set in the Catholic Church. Miinoa Valley Theatre, 2833 East Manoa Rd.: Wed 1/23-Thu 1/24, 7:30PM; Fri 1/25-Sat 1/26, 8PM; Sun 1/27, 4PM. Show runs through 2/3. $15-$25. manoavalleytheatre.com, 988-6131 'i'Mass Appeal (See Hot Picks, page 9.) Yel­low Brick Studio, 625 Keawe St.: Thu 1/24, Fri 1/25 & Sat 1/26, 7:30PM; Sun 1/27, 4PM. $12-$15. taghawaii.net, 722-6941 Maui vs. Hercules Maui fishes up a new island to rule. Hercules comes along. The two alpha males compete for rulership of the island. Honolulu Theatre for Youth, 2846 Ualena St.: Fri 1/25, 7:30PM; Sat 1/26, 1:30PM & 4:30PM. Show runs through 2/23. $8-$20. 839-9885 'i'Pele Ma Pele sets things on fire-literally and figuratively. An adaptation of Frederich Wich­man's book that is part of a Kaua'i tales series. Kumu Kahua Theatre, 46 Merchant St.: Thu 1/24-Sat 1/26, 8PM; Sun 1/27, 2PM. Show runs 2/10. $1-$16. kumukahua.org, 536-4441 Rap's Hawal'i A tribute to Rap Reiplinger's comedy. Kapolei Public Library, 1020 Manawai St.: Sat 1/26, 11AM. $8-$20. 693-7050

Auditions 2008 Chinatown Cultural Showcase Call to performers in the following categories, espe­cially but not limited to: Pacific Island choral groups, Korean dance, martial arts, lion dance, Vietnamese puppets, traditional Filipino songs, hula, taiko drumming. Hawai'i Theatre, 1130 Bethel St.: Wed 2/6, (7PM.) 528-0506 Brigadoon Advance appointment needed for the open casting. Call 735-4827 to reserve your slot. Chaminade University. Mon 1/28, 5:30-7:30PM; Tue 1/29, 7-8:30PM. 375-1282 The Constant Wife For W. Somerset Maugham's play. Roles to be filled are Constant Middleton (yes, that constant wife), her husband John Middleton, family members, suitors a friend and a butler. Play will run 3/28-4/27. HPU Paul and Vi Loo Theatre, Hawai'i Pacific University Hawai'i Loa campus: Fri 1/25, 7PM; Sat 1/26 & Sun 1/27, noon 375-1282 Flower Drum Song Prospective performers should prepare an uptempo song from the traditional Broadway Repetoire (Rodgers & Hammerstein, etc.). No contemporary Broad­way songs (Les Mis, Cats, etc.). Diamond Head Theatre, 520 Makapu'u Dr.: Fri 2/1, 7PM; Sat 2/2 & Sun 2/3, 2PM. 733-0274

Museums Bishop Museum 1525 Bernice St. Open daily 9AM-5PM. $14.95 adults; $11.95 youthage+-12; under4 free. bishopmuseum.org, 847-3511 Chlldren's Discovery Center Kids can pres­ent a puppet show, dress up like a doctor, play vtrtual volleyball, explore the inside of a mouth visit different cultures, test their wheelchai; skills, put on a play, make crafts and much more at this interactive museum. 110 'Ohe St.: Tue-Fri, 9AM-1PM; Sat & Sun, 10AM-3PM. $8 adults, $6.75 kids 2-17. 524-5437 Chinatown Museum Learn about both Chi­naown and Hawaiian history, and how they intermingle. 1120 Maunakea St., 2nd floor: Open Mon-Sat, 10AM-2PM. $2 adults; $1 youths. tcmhi.org, 526-1322 The Contemporary Museum 2411 Makiki Heights Dr. Open Tue-Sat, 10AM-4PM; Sun, noon-4PM. $5 adults; $3 students/seniors (free every third Thursday of the month). tcmhi.org, 526-1322 The Contemporary Cafe 2411 Makiki Heights Dr. Tue-Sat, ll:30AM-2:30PM" Sun noon-2:30PM. 526-1322 ' ' The ~Y Museum at Rrst lfawal. Ian Center 999 Bishop St. Open Mon-Thu 8:30AM-4PM; Fri, 8:30AM~PM. Validated park: ing available; enter on Merchant St. 526-1322 Doris Duke's Shangrt La Advance reserva­tions are required for guided tours of the S­acre waterfront estate-'-packed with Islamic art-of the late heiress and philanthropist. All tours depart from the Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S. Beretania St. Wed-Sat, 8:30AM, 11AM & 1:30PM. $25, $20 toHawai'iresidents (13 & older) with proof of residency. honolu­luacademy.org, (866) DUKE-TIX

Hawai'I Plantation Village Thirty struc­tures preserved in their original condition offer a glimpse of plantation life from the mid-19th century through World War II. 94-695 Waipahu St. Guided tours Mon-Sat, 10AM-2PM. $5-$13. Children 3 & under free. hawaiiplantationvillage.org, 677-0110 Hawai'I State Art Museum No. 1 Capitol District Building, 250 S. Hotel St., 2nd Fl. Open Tue-Sat, 10AM-4PM. Free. 586-0900 Hokulani lmaginarium Windward Com­munity College's state-of-the-ai:t planetarium and multi-media facility presents shows for all ages. Windward Community College, 45-720 Kea'ahala Rd., Kiine'ohe: 235-7321 Honolulu Academy of Arts 900 S. Beretania St. Docent-guided tours are available, included in the admission price and self-guided digital audio tours are available for an additional $5. Open Tue-Sat, 10AM-4:30PM; Sun, 1-5PM. $10 general, $5 seniors/military/students; free for kids 12 & under and museum members. honoluluacademy.org, 532-8700

Hawaiian Modern: The Architecture of Vladimir OssipoffThe first ever major muse­um retrospective of the Hawai'i starchitect who designed everything from the Honolulu International Airport to the Liljestrand House on Round Top Drive. Explore Ossipoff's work and life through models, video, photographs and personal artwork. Through 1/27. (Admis­sion is an additional $5.)

Matteo Sandona and Hawai'i: A Capital Ambition (See Hot Picks, page 9.) Academy Art Center at Linekona 1111 Victoria St. Open Tue-Sat, 10AM-4:30PM; Sun, 1-5PM. Free admission. honoluluacad­emy.org, 532-8741 Honolulu Police Department Law Enforce. ment Museum Inside the Police Department is this gem about Honolulu's finest. Besides bad~es and weapons, you'll find interesting stones, hke that of detective Chang Apana who inspired the fictional character Char­lie Chan. 801 S. Beretania St.: Mon-Fri, 7:45AM-4:30PM. Free. 529-3351 'lolani Palace Built by King Kalakaua in 1882, the palace was the center of social and political activity in the Kingdom of Hawai'i during the monarchy period. Corner of King & Richards Sts.: Guided tours: Tue-Sat 9-ll:15AM, $20 adults, $15 kama'aina $5 children (under 5 years not admitted) A~dio tours available ll:45AM- 3PM $12 adults· $5 children. Galleries open: T~e-Sat, 9AM~ 4:30PM. $6 adults; $3 kids. Free admission to island residents with ID on Kama'aina Sundays (the first Sunday of each month). iolanipalace.org, 522-0832 John Young Museum of Art The museum displays works selected from art collector Young's private stash. Krauss Hall, UH-Miin­oa: Mon-Fri, 11AM-2PM; Sun 1-4PM; closed on state holidays. Free. outreach.hawaii.edu/ jymuseum, 956-8866 Maritime Museum Explore the maritime histo­ry of Hawai'i, starting with the early Polynesians and working through modern times. The Falls of Clyde is part of the exhibit. Pier ?-Honolulu Harbor: Open daily, 8:30AM-5PM. $7.50 adults $4.50 children ages 4-12. 523-6151 ' Mission Houses Museum Step into 19th­century Hawai'i on a guided tour. Japanese tours available. Visitors can also browse the unique gift shop, quilting and lauhala weaving lessons and walking tours of the historic houses and capitol district. 533 S. King St. Open Tue-Sat, 10AM-4PM; closed Sun. Tours available at 11AM & 2:45PM. $6-$10; 50% kama'aina discount on last Saturday of each month. missionhouses. org, 531-0481 North Shore Surf and Cultural Museum View the vintage surfboard collection, pho­tos, memorabilia, bottles, videos, posters and other cultural items on display and shop for jewelry from the bottom of the sea. North Shore Marketplace: Wed-Mon, 11AM-6PM. Free. 637-8888 Pacific Aviation Museum Historical artifacts and aircraft-including a Japanese 2'.ero fighter and Navy Wtldcat-tell heroic stories of military aviation during WWII. Pearl Harbor, Hanger 37, Ford Island, ~19 Lexington_B/vd.: $14 general ($10 kama'ama); .$7 children ($5 kama'aina): pacificaviationmuseum.org, 441-1000 Queen Emma Summer Palace Revel in Hawaiian hi~tory and American architec­ture from the Victorian perio.d at the sum­mer retreat, which was built in Boston then shipped in pre-cut frames and sections a:ound South America before arriving in Hawai'i. 2913 Pali Hwy.: Daily, 9AM-4PM. $1-$6. daughtersofhawaii.org, 595-6291

Continued on Page 14

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Theater

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Abbott meets Costello meets . . . Britney? HTY's brings Mau'i vs. Hercules to the kids

Myth..-terious Island

STEVE WAGENSELLER

I t's the little kids who will enjoy this show the most. I mean, with a title like Maui vs. Hercules, it's not meant to attract the same audienc­

es as, say, Hedda Gabler or Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

On hearing the keiki laugh dur­ing this new Honolulu Theatre for Youth production, my thoughts raced back to my own childhood­a race inexorably becoming a mar­athon-and the hours I'd spent watching similar stuff at the Or­pheum. The Orpheum? That was the local movie house where my mother deposited us for a whole Saturday morning of cartoons and kid flicks. It was at the Orpheum that I fell in love with Pia Zadora in that memorable 1964 film, San­ta Claus Conquers the Martians. (A confession: I married my first wife because she was a Pia Zadora look-alike; lately, I've begun to re­semble Santa Claus. Life may not exactly imitate art, but it certainly mocks it.)

What a combination: Santa Claus, Martians, and ... Pia Zadora!

As I recall, the films of the '50s and '60s provided many such epic encounters, and eventually all of them came to flicker, late at night, on our old black-and-white Motoro­la: classic-comedies like Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy, or The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters; badly dubbed Italian beefcake flicks like Hercules vs. the Vampires, or Hercules vs. the Moon Monsters; plus my personal favorite, still fond in memory-The Three Stooges Meet Hercules, a classic.

So, after matching wits with vam­pires, moon monsters, Larry, Moe,

and Curly Joe, Hercules finally meets Maui. Who'd've guessed?

Yokanaan Kearns did. According to the program notes, sudden inspi­ration struck the playwright during a coffee shop meeting two years ago with HTY artistic director Eric Johnson. He quickly scribbled the idea down on a napkin: Maui vs. Hercules. While Kearns admits that Alien vs. Predator was then on his mind, not Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, his play owes some­thing to both. The show has a prem­ise just as myth-busting and strange as aliens abducting St. Nick and as colossal and combative as monsters from two different film franchises grappling in a brand-new money bucket.

The confrontation starts when Hawaiian demigod Maui (Hermen Tesorio, Jr.) throws his mighty hook into the sea and raises a new island for himself, one where he will be free from the clutches of his Aunty Pele. Pele, it seems, wants to make Maui practice hula when he'd rather be doing something else. With glee, he declaims: "I, King Maui of this freshly fished island, make the fol­lowing decree: this is a hula-free zone!" The hoisting of the island, though, raises a wave big enough to throw mighty Hercules (Swaine Kaui) to shore. Thinking himself alone, Hercules stakes his own claim: "This is my island, the island ofHerculanesia!" and declares it an epic-poetry-free zone. It seems that he, too, has a problem with a domi­neering goddess-his stepmother, Hera. She nags him about ... epic poetry.

In his script, Kearns rings the changes on what is essentially an extended battle for "King of the Hill"-both demigods vying for

ownership of the new land. Under Eric Johnson's direction, the two rapidly degenerate from power­ful immortals to sandlot baseball players arguing over who was safe and who was out. For the kids in the audience, that's pure delight. Both Tesoro and Kaui revel in tak­ing their characters from boastful, bluffing big-shots to incessantly quarreling brats. Overall, the per­formance style owes much to Loo­ney Tunes-one can't help but think of Daffy and Bugs as the two leads constantly bicker. Or, considering their crested helmets, Marvin the Martian.

But then Britney appears. Yes, that's right. Another character, named "Britney," arrives on stage, dressed like Holly Golightly replete with sunglasses, Chanel hat, Jimmy Choo shoes, and several shopping bags. She is looking for the mall­an unexpected turn of events, to say the least. Unexpected as much for the audience as for the two heroes who have no idea what a mall might be, mucl;i less a Neiman-Marcus.

"Omigod!" Britney exclaims. "Maybe this is one of those places that only has a Sears!"

To be fair, the appearance of a new character on the scene has been foreshadowed-Hera and Pele appeared briefly in the back­ground when their names were mentioned. Actress Mary Wells plays them both, and ... Britney. It is a testament to Wells' verve and composure that, after some very uncomfortable minutes while the audience restructures its imagined world to include a "Britney," the play doesn't lag more than it does. Why is Britney there at all? I'm guessing that Kearns needed a new conflict to move the plot forward. Along the way, he decided to make a philosophical point as well: the old gods are long gone. Instead of regal Hera or potent Pele, today we have ... a Britney. Instead of Maui's tricks and Hercules' labors, today's heroic expleits will occur ... at Nordstrom. In a sense, we moderns have traded the eternal for the mundane, the magical for the mercantile. It's a fair point, but it's a flawed plot device-at least for us adults.

Fortunately, Britney is just a side­trip in the show. Both Pele and Hera reappear and eventually merge into an Ur-goddess who makes the boys play nice with each other. At least for a while. And the kids in the au­dience-well, as long as the two mighty heroes caper and quibble, who cares what the dippy woman wants?

Woulda been neat, though, to toss in Santa and a Martian or two.

And Pia Zadora. •

Tenney Theatre, St. Andrew's Cathe­dral, Queen Emma Square, continuing through 2123, Sat. at 1:30PM and 4:30PM, $16 adult, $8 seniors over 60, $8 children 3 and up, free to children under 2, 839-9885

THE HOME OF CLASSIC ROCK & ROLL LIVE MUSIC EVERY NIGHT, NEVER A COVER!

Sidewinders Sunday

Analog Monday & Tuesday

WZ\rtfftH Piranha ·Brothers

Wednesday - Saturday

. Watch the Super Bowl at our bars. 2 Pro Bowl tickets given away at halftime.

Check out our sister pubs:

~J ~ 902 Nu'uanu u~~ufS Avenue 311 Lewers St.

in Waikiki 926-1777 536-4138

10AM -2AM, 7 DAYS A WEEK 4 78 Ena Road "' 94 7-3414 "' \l'Ww.irishpuhhawaii.tom

UNIVfRSITY of HAWAl'I' \\ANOA

MAINSTAGE 2007-2008 SEASON 7<:!nne{y Theatre-----------------A (f)alinese)

Tempest

Jan 25, 26*, 31, Feb 1, 2* at 8pm - Feb 3 at 2pm * Free pre-show chats at 7pm

$16 Regular, $14 Discount, $11 Students, $5 UHM Students with valid ID

Tickets on sale now at www.etickethawaii.com, call 483-7123, at outlets, and at Kennedy Theatre Box Office 956-7655.

For more ,nfo: www.hawai1.edu / ke nnedy

Diamond Head Theatre

A COMEDY BY

Neil Simon

February 1 - 17, 2008 Call

733-0274 Buy online

www.diamondheadtheatre.com

"A bubbling, rib-tickling comedy." -N.Y Times

Sponsored by: .l~CENTRAL P.~CIFIC BANK ~ ~IUtCf~f ~OYJ.l UNlltlHi.

) HAWAII SELF STORAGE

www.honolul-ldy.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 13

•

• I

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THE SCENE

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• From Page12 Joan Allen, Figure Studies (watercolors Fabienne Blanc (watercolor) Through 1/30. Tennent Art Foundation Gallery View & etchings) Runs 2/1 through 2/29. Ko'olau Nohea Gallery, 1020 Auahi St.: 589-1174 a large collection of the paintings by Gallery, Manoa Marketplace: 988-4147 ~ Flfty·Flfty Skate Surf Art Collective Hawai'i's beloved artist Madge Tennent. Kyle lno, Wl(red) Glass (jewelry) Runs 1/26 Through 1/30. Ong King Art Collective, 184 Lectures and tours available. 203 Pros- through 2/28. The Gallery at Ward Center, N. King St.: 428-3233 pect St.: Tue-Sat, 10AM-12PM; Sun, 2-4PM. 1200 Ala Moana Blvd.: 597-8034 Herb Kane, Swlngln' Tiki, Red Mahan, Free. 531-1987 The Landscape w/ Mary Mitsuda, Nor- Sandra Blazel, Dennis Morton, Kalal· U.S. Anny Museum An extensive collection een Naughton, Sharon Sussman, Debbie anl, Stefan Melnl, William Horak Ongo-of artifacts pertaining to America's military Young Opening Reception 2/8, 5:30-8:30PM. ing. Ipu-Kula Gallery, 47-388 Hui'lwa St.: past is housed he ·e, including old artillery Runs 1/25 through 3/2. Cedar Street Galler- 239-0044 and vehicles. Guided tours available. Fort ies, 2nd Floor, 817 Cedar St.: 589-1580 Joshua W. MIies, Windows Through 2/1. DeRussy (next to the Hale Koa Hotel) at Mark Norseth, Giants (paintings) Runs 1/26 Ho'omaluhia Botanical Garden Gallery, 45-

the corner of Kalia & Saratoga Rds.: Open through 2/28. The Gallery at i;. ard Center, 680 Luluku Rd.: 233-7323

Tue-Sun, 10AM-4:15PM. Free. hiarmymuse- 1200 Ala Moana Blvd.: 597-8034 Jules Stevens, Love Bombs (ceramics)

umsoc.org, 955-9552 Patrice Federspiel, Essence of Aloha Through 1/31. The ARTS at Marks Garage,

U.S.S. Bowfln Submarine Museum and Artist Reception 1/25, 4-9PM. Runs through 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: 521-2903

Park The World War II submarine will 1/31. Outrigger Reef Hotel, 2169 Kalia Rd.: Karen Wolfe, On the Outside (needle &

astound you with its enormity, its outdoor 922-5110 thread) Through 3/1. town, 3435 Wai'alae

exhibits and the intimidating WWII Japa- Rujunko Pugh, DNA: Digital Nature Ana· Ave.: 735-5900

nese Suicide Missile. Some material dates as log Runs 1/27 through 3/7. HPU Art Gallery, Lost & Found w/ ProJectFocus Hawal'I

far back as the Revolutionary War. 11 Ari- 45-045 Kamehameha Hwy.: 544-0287 and Kids Hurt Too (photography)

zona Memorial Dr. Open daily, 8AM-5PM. Wei (graphic) Runs 2/3 through 3/29. Cofeeline Through 1/29. Honolulu Hale Courtyard,

$8 adults, $3 children 4-12; children 3 and Gallery, 1820 University Ave.: 778-7909 530 S. King St. Malka'I Tubbs, Transparent (watercolors)

under, free. bowfin.org, 423-1341 Continuing Through 1/24. Kirsch Gallery, Punahou

School, 1602 Punahou St.: 944-5712

Galleries Aiko Kameya, Takeo MUI, Randy Shiroma, Murry Turnbull, Visualizing the Invisible New Works Through 1/30. The Academy Art Through 2/29. Gallery 'Iolani, Windward Center at Linekona, 1111 Victoria St.: 532- Community College.: 236-9155 8741 The Pastellista Six w Ela Zapf, Bridgette

Opening Broadsides w/ Chris Campbell, Yvonne Adams-Greb, Gregory Pal, Nancy Jack· Cheng, Vicky Chock, Ester Shlmazu, son, Helen laca, Kathy Yokouchi (pastels)

2nd Annual All Things Hawaiian Show Nancy VIihauer Through 1/30. The Acad- Through 1/24. The Gallery at Ward Centre, Opening Reception 1/30, 5:30-8:30PM. Runs emy Art Center at Linekona, 1111 Victoria 1200 Ala Moana Blvd.: 597-8034 1/30 through 3/1. Nu'uant1 Gallery at Marks St.: 532-8741 Parentheses w/ UH Graduating Students Garage, 11 Canle Able (oil & canvas) Through 1/30. Through 2/22. University of Hawai'i Art Gal-45th Annual Hawal'I Region of the Scho- DaSpace, 1192 Smith St.: 351-4960 lery, UH-Manoa lastlc Art Awards 2008 Opening Reception David Behlke and Richard Fand, Universal Paul Nagano, Sister Islands: Ball & 2/2, 4-6PM. Runs 2/2 through 4/4. Hawai'i Connections Through 2/22. Cafe Che Pasta, Hawal'I (watercolors) Through 2/9. Gentry State Art Museum, 250 S. Hotel St.: 733- 1001 Bishop St., Ste 108: 524-0004 Pacific Design Center, 560 N. Nimitz Hwy. 9141 Destiny? w/ David Behlke, Dennis Good· Playing In the Islands by Hawal'I Students Clark Uttle, Winter Swells-A Collec• bee, Janet Jin, Karen Lee, Bud Spindt K~ Through 4/1. Hawai'i Convention Center, tion of Photography Runs 1/23 through Through 2/15. Koa Gallery, Kapi'olani Com- room 323: 1801 Kalakaua Ave.: 943-3500 311. Chinatown Boardroom, 1160 Nu'uanu munity College: 734-9375 PlaythllpTo,s&Ganes Through4/19.Mis-Ave. 585-7200 Exploring the Feminine-New Ideas of sion Houses Museum, 533 S. King St.: 531-0481 California Dreamin' LA to HI Opening Beauty w/ Yoko Harr, Keiko Hatano, Tsu· Rel Matsuo and Kenlchlro Sakurai Reception 1/27, 5-7PM. Runs 1/20 through gumi Iwasaki Higbee, Noriko Wakayama Through 5/2. Art of Vision Gallery, Laser Eye 3/16. Honolulu Country Club, 1690 Ala Through 1/21. Sub-Zero Wolf Showroom, Center of Hawai'i, 1600 Kapi'olani Blvd.: Ste Pu'umalu St.: 395-3238 938 Pi'ikoi St.: 597-1647 105: 946-6000

Photosynthesis to photovoltaic. The idea is the same: to gather the sun's light and convert it into energy. Let us show you how our solar solutions can help lower your electric bill and reduce our dependency on fossil fuel. Call for a free on-site consultation.

262.6600 I suntechhawaii.com

Rona Bennett, Rainbow's Revisited (mixed media) Through 3/1. town, 3435 Learning Wai'alae Ave.: 735-5900 Sanlt Khewhok Through 1/26. Nu'uanu Art Lunch Lecture Serles The downtown Gallery at Marks Garage, 1161 Nu'uanu art scene gets its lunchtime fix the last week Ave.: 536-9828 of each month. This Month: The SFCA Vision and Discovery, Students from Recipient Award Series-Rick Mills-The Pacific New Media (photography) Through Recent History of Glass in Hawai'i. Hawai'i 1130. Canon Photo Gallery, 210 Ward Ave., State Art Museum, No. 1 Capitol District Suite 200: 522-5930 Bldg., 250 S. Hotel St.: Tue 1/29, (12PM.)

Free. 586-0900

Words Captain John Meek in Hawai'I Illustrated lecture presented by Gail Hercher about the aye-aye captain who set the record for shortest

Jon Van Dyke UH law professor discusses sail from New York to Honolulu-124 days, his new book, Who Owns the Crown Lands and became ingrained with Hawaiian royalty. of Hawai'i?, focusing on the complex legal Kana'ina Building, 364 S. King St.: Thu 1/24, history of Hawai'i public lands. Native {7:30P,\1.) Free. Books/Nii Mea Hawai'i, Waikiki: Sun 1/27, Directing the Documentary Alanis Obo-(3-5PM.) Free. msawin teaches interview techniques and Puakea Nogelmeir Hear renowned Hawai- explores the power of images in this overview ian scholar share his experiences in working to of directing documentary films. Yukiyoshi build a new team of translators. Book signing Room, Krauss Hall, UH-Manoa campus: to follow lecture. For more information, call Jamie Fong at 842-8655 or email at jafong@ Sun 1/27, (9AM-4PM.) $100. outreach.hawaii.

ksbe.org. Kamehameha School Campus. Tue edu/pnm, 956-8400

1/29, (7PM.) Free. Experts at the Palace 2008 The Historic

reverses Join spoken word luminaries Trav- Preservation Program starts this lecture

isT and Lyz Soto at the monthly poetry series series with "Japanese Temples in Hawai'i:

held every last Tue with jazz music by DJ Mr. Documenting a Local Heritage" with Lor-

Nick. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 raine Minatoishi-Palumbo. Old Archives

Nu'uanu Ave.: Tue 1/29, (8PM.) $5. 521-2903 Building, 'Iolani Palace: Every Thu through

Shakespeare on Sunday The ongoing 3/6, (noon-lPM.) Free. iolanipalace.org,

bard aficionados read Timon of Athens. 522-0832

Read along or just listen in. Call 394-5317 From Brown Dwarfs to Gamma-Ray

for details. Academy of Film & Television, Bursts Learn about the work of the Friends 1174 Waimanu St., Suite A: Sun 1/27, (7PM.) of the Institute for Astronomy's masters-level Free. americanfilmactor.com, 596-8300 research awards recipients. UH Institute for The Society of Children's Book Writers Astronomy, 2680 Woodlawn Dr. (next to the and lllustrators-Hawal'I The annual con- Manoa Public Library): Mon 1/28, (7:30PM.) ference features Linda Pratt, award-winning Free. 956-8355 novelist Graham Salisbury and picture book International Year of the Reef-Hawal'I illustrator LeUyen Pham along with optional Campaign Launch Malama Hawai'i and feedback on first pages from attendees. Reg- other organizations kick off an awareness ister by 1/25 for manuscript critique; 2/22 for campaign about the value and importance of conference alone or with portfolio. Register at coral reefs and threats to their sustainability. 728-8109. Harris United Methodist Church, Reefs have feelings, too. State Capitol. Fri 20 S. Vineyard Blvd.: Sat 3/1, (9AM-3:30PM.) 1/25. 110AM-2PM.l Free. Fees vary. 988-6266 Continued on Page 16

GREEN Appearing in Honolulu Weekly

on the rd Wednesday of every month. Call your ad rep today.

Get your Hawaii Organic Products Directory Today!

Local organic crops, honey, livestock, producers, farm apprenticeships, farmers

-?.p • . ,o< markets, organic seed sources, agriculture 4/~liS

0e,\~ supply stores, natural grocery stores ar~

ASS agricultural a9enc1

To order ($6 incl postage) contact the Hilo office at (808) 969-7789, email hofa@hawaiiorganicfarmers-org, or visit the website at

www.hawaiiorganicfarmers.org

• I

9· maslcri'1g I "" h lccllon a11d nP/Jlkaflon tecbnique tur="11 to strutegiadl)' 11{1/11)• the oom/e, in/() /be sJruclure uie bm'fJ prott.'11 that Ibis sm,;cc is n ,liable alter11a/ive Jo stn1ehtml fumigation.

Call Sandwich Isle today for a FREE Borate Estimate

Sa 1Hjwi J1 Fsl ~ Tbe proress begins u'itb a lhorot,gb i1lspection and nJJ QC/ire lennile lnfastallol/s mt' lde11llf/ed. li.rperlenmf iti.r:p«:/J>rs usi11g tlt'fL' micnlmll'C termite l.ictRse No t1e1,~1w11 ltt:b,wJcc, ""' enf/Jlti1'f!d '" PC0 m

Pest Solutions

idt!nlifj lbep,.,rocto[ltJnl/i/es. 456-7716. www.sandwichisle.co

CITY WISE • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

$10 well spent

Dao doo drops-the best thing to come along since the hit children's book, Everyone Poops. Th.is blessed Japanese import comes in an eye­drop shaped bottle and all one has to do is squeeze one drop (or more for the big loads) into the toilet bowl before commencing the royal act of the number two. This stuff can handle the meanest of jalapefio hot link aftermaths.

One-Drop Deodorizer elimi­nates the smell instead of masking it. The website likens the product to a ninja-"silent, powerful, leav­ing no trace, it's like you were never there." Order two or bottles now online and you can be the lucky re­cipient of a Hawaiian floral calen­dar. Better than going to the bank.

If you want to go upscale in the smell-eradication department and would like people to think that you naturally smell better than roses, consider the locally created Poof Drops (easily misread but cor­rectly understood as "Pao Drops"). One drop of the Japanese Mint Poof Drops in your toilet bowl will make your entire bathr_oom smell more refreshing than a field of flowers after a fresh spring rain.

So whether you want to go the high road or the subtle road in dealing with your deuce-age (or others', God forbid), rejoice in having the power to fight the plague of the stink. Now what to do about those streaks ...

One Drop Deodorizer, "Buy the ninjaH for $6. 95 at Longs, Don Qui­jote & mybathroomninja.com; Poof Drops, $10 at Salon Nanea, 320 Ward Ave., Ste. 220 & at poof drops. com. -Margot Seeto

Local lens We can picture the studio ex­ecutives when Waterworld was greenlighted: "It's like The Road Warrior, but on water! And instead of Mel Gibson, we've got Kevin Costner! And Dennis Hopper be­fore he's reduced to appearing in commercials advocating financial security for seniors!" $175 million dollars later, the only thing most remember about the film is the opening scene with Kevin Costner

· drinking his own urine. But we still remember the world of water, and the fact that the "Dry Land" that caused all the fuss was filmed partly in Kawaihae Harbor and Kana.

-Dean Carrico

WATERWORLD 1995

Directed by Kevin Reynolds

OFF THE RACK

The Place

P eanut butter dog biscuit mix, dog eau de toilette, frog bowling pin set, silicone kid­

shaped chopstick holders, a floral patterned six-in-one screwdriver set inside a petite hammer, a butter pat-sized sticky note pad on a toast­shaped holder, Chewy Vitton dog purse chew toy, guitar-shaped ice cube trays, tropical fish retractable phone cord holder, cheetah-print rubber devil duck, Riedel wine decanter, sushi-shaped pencil top­pers, Iodice gray wrap dress, glit­tery Kashi sneakers, crocodile skin clutch, tokidoki brand skate decks and toys, white truffle face cream, creme brfilee nuts, Karma In A Can, green python-shaped bike lock, Ben Sherman products, Maribelle's delicately hand-painted chocolates, Mari's Caramel Sea Salt brownies.

While first being overwhelmed by the eclectic collection of mer­chandise, one will come under­stand the organization of The Place's hundreds of products. Owner Cora Spearman explains that this unpretentious luxury life­style store (for humans and pets) is divided into sections: preppy, rock 'n' roll, wine enthusiast, skin care, diva/bling bling and yoga/zen. The products in the sections suit her different moods on different days

BOOK REVIEW

BOWL OF CHERRIES

Millard Kaufman McSweeney's, 326 pp, $22.00

The U.S.'s current adventure in Iraq can be described variously as a glowing success (if you're deluded),

a colossal failure (if you've been paying attention), and as a quagmire (if you're trying to be polite), but the handiest de­scriptor for this war has been supplied by nonagenarian author, Millard Kaufman. In Bowl Of Cherries, Kaufman leads readers to the fictional Iraqi province of Coproliabad,

and also make gift buying for dif­ferent personality types a bit easier.

An international assortment of products not only represents a fashion-forwardlifestyle, but also an environmentally and socially conscious company. Moving from the world of politics and press to the world fashion, Spearman felt she could combine her interests in fashion and helping society by opening The Place and choosing distribL !ors carefully. The Jedidiah Hope Collection donates $5 per shirt sale to various humanitar­ian organizations. The Place's bath and body products are from . green companies. Their robes are made from organic bamboo.

With partner Chris Chang, The Place will be celebrating The Store's one-year anniversary in February. The owners express their gratitude to their customers not only in words, but also in loyalty discounts for regu­lars and little mark-up on products. The Place that is considerate to both their customers and society is cer­tainly the place to be.

THE PLACE Ward Warehouse, 1050 Ala Moana Blvd.

-M.S.

593-7522 theplacehonolulu.com

What they sell: See crazy list above. Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10AM-9PM, Sun. 10AM-6PM Price range:$6-$1,300 Payment:AmEx, Discover, JCB, MC, V

a backwater with dwellings made entirely of human excrement, now crawling with opportunistic Americans who've used the U.S. occupation as an entry point to exploit the locals. Under Kaufman's able hand, Coproliabad becomes a spiky metaphor for the disasters of America's poorly plot­ted intercession. As Kaufman sees it, the current boondoggle in Iraq can only be described as an ever deepening pile of shit.

Enter into this world, Judd Breslau, boy genius, whose raunchy picaresque journey to Coproliabad makes up the bulk of this good book. Judd wends his way through a slew of careers early in the novel-think tank mem­ber, horse breeder, and inadvertent pornog­rapher-before settling down to the business of providing PR for a gang of Ugly Americans traversing the outer reaches of Iraq.

For all its cynicism, there is a pervasive feeling of optimism throughout the book, especially in the scenes of Judd's slow but steady moral awakening. As Judd must finally choose between either serving his own interests or helping others the reader is left with the notion that while hope might not save us, it can sustain us.

-Matthew Martin

. G W¥'1lffl .A~ A OlUJS:IDiC SIElf J&Y <G .. Ull.JJ,. JR

,;A~[ffe::Q.9/§,rljJl:§if§t~,~:ffe');~ly

wjfilh~s. y;,-,.~~&$@1/ffertlijll;tl.r!il§ffllif:fi,. wil/il~ &£.~I t1.J~:ffl!il~•i!;,..w;§jY11lilf§iJ@hfflilffe ~ .~rfX!P:§1~/y~f§)

t1i't§t1Yr§t9fll/ffef~i§ffi.~ii,s(§l~,iffl ~'5'i{Jj)'1~fc§i.§l}y}r-@fil§i1ffl§Jfif;;.~ 'ii~!§

{f.ffet/l')ffei/jjJ/JJ;s~IOO!itt~iffl§:l1t&!fim§>:ffiiL·

jfjj/iftfitfp~VJ(f!/~~Wrflf ...

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 15

~-- ------ --- --~ ----------- ------ ---------------------- - - -

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• THE SCENE

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • From Page 14

Lei Making Workshops Brian Choy, repeat winner sweeping most categories annually at the Lei Day Celebration, shows you some of his tricks of rhe trade. Wahiawii Botanical Garde11, 1396 California Ave., Wahiawii: Sat 1/26, (9:30AM.) Free. Photography with a Conscience Dana Forsberg teaches how to develop skills and insights necessary in documenting moments, things and events of deep personal signifi­cance. UH Art Dept. Tuesdays 1/29 through 3/4, (6PM-9PM.) $150. Shakti Dance Movement Belly Dance Workshops Kami Liddle of the Bellydance Superstars will be teaching "Fluid Upper Body" on 1/26. Sabrina Fox and Molodia will lead the workshops on 1/27. UH-Miinoa. Sat 1/26 & Sun 1/27. $55. 358-2571

Keiki 6 'Ohana 2008 Essay & Artwork Contest Attention fourth graders: Write an essay on this year's theme "Respect," one of the six pillars of char­acter. Create a hand-drawn picture to go with it. Call 455-2740 for complete info. Deadline 1/31. 'elmaglne Kids in grades K through 6 can dive into drama with the Honolulu Theatre for Youth. The final day includes a performance for family and friends. Every Sat, 2/2-3/15. Deadline to enroll is 1/25. $100 (scholarships available). 839-9885 Ka lwl Coast Hike Discover native coastal plants and family fun on this day of hiking and lunch at Pele's Chair. For ages 6 & up. Hawai'i Nature Center. Sat 1/ l6, (10AM-1PM.) $14 non­member_parent/chi]d team. 955-0100

Botanical Garden Craft Club Use materials by the gar­den and prepare to share. Foster Botanical Garden, 180 N. Vineyard Blvd.: Every Mon­day, (9:30AM-noon.) Free.

Hawaiian Herbs Learn how plants in your yard can nourish your body and provide heal­ing. Suitable for ages 12 and up. Kahuku Pub­lic & School Library, 56-490 Kamehameha Hwy.: Tue 1/29, (6:30-7:30PM.) 293-9275 Miinoa Heritage Center Outdoor guided tours for both adult and school groups are offered by prearranged appointment only. Discover Kiika'o'o Heiau and the Native Hawaiian garden while learning the history of Manoa. Miinoa Heritage Ce11ter. Open Tue-Sat, 9AM-4PM. $7 general; $4 seniors and military; children under 12 accompa­nied by adult free. manoaheritagecenter.org, 988-1287 Walmea Valley Audubon Center Take a walk through a world of rare and endan­gered Hawaiian flora and fauna, strolling paths, hiking trails and history. Waimea Val­ley Audubon Center. Guided Wildlife Walk: Mon, 1PM; Historical Walk: Tue, Wed & Sat, 1PM; Native Hawaiian Plant Walk: Thu & Sun, 2PM. 638-9199

Hikes 6 Excursions The Heart of Honolulu All the major historic sites in the civic center district are included in this 1-mile walk. Meet at Damie11 statue, State Capitol: Friday 1/25, (9AM-12PM.) Free. honolulufreebies.com, 948-3299 The Royal Mausoleum & Two Asian Temples The walk is less than a mile but all participants need to pay for two city bus fares (or use a bus pass) for this educational tour. Meet at Damien statue, State Capitol: Every last Fri; 1/25, (9AM-noon.) $10 plus two city bus fares, (or use a pass). 948-3299 Trlpler 12-mile advanced hike. For more information, call coordinator Doug Klein at 263-8330. 'Iolani Palace Grounds. Sun 1/27., (8AM.) $2 non-members. Windward Nature Outing Must be reason­ably fit for this one, with a short beach walk then a two mile hike. Meet at Damien statue, State Capitol: Sun 1/27, (9AM-5PM.) $$10 plus four bus rides (or use a pass).

Food 6 Drink Culinary Arts Program Designed for those interested in learning proper cooking or bak­ing techniques. Wear comfortable, non-slip shoes and slacks. Upcoming classes include: "Basic Knife Skills," 1/26; "Soups," 2/9; "Kevin's Ragin' Cajun," 2/16"Roasting," 3/15 and more throughout may. Cla1s time and admission varies. Call to register. Kapi'olani Community College. 734-9211 Macrobiotic Community Dinner The ulti­mate in healthy eating. Eat in or take out at this ongoing dinner. Reservations requested at 398-2695. Church of the Crossroads, 1212 University Ave.: Fri 1/25, (6-7:30rM.) $12. 949-2220 Port: Tawny, Ruby & Vintage Tasting of the three main styles of port. Complimentary des­serts included. Club discounts apply. The Wi11e Stop, 1809 S. King St.: Sun 1/27, (3-4:30PM.) $35. thewinestophawaii.com, 946-3707

Whatevahs Ala Wai Challenge Enjoy ancient Hawaiian games, an outrigger canoe race, food booths and entertainment at this event. Ala Wai Com­munity Park. Sun 1/27, (8AM.) 923-1802 Cha Do Gu Sale Japanese tea implements and all the tea accessories you could ever hope to find. And feather dusters. Japanese Cultural Ce11ter of Hawai'i, 2454 South Beretania St.: Tue-Sat through 1/26, (10AM-4PM.) Free. jcch. com, 945-7633 'i'Chlnatown Chase A benefit romp for the Hawaii Theatre through Chinatown as teams of 10 search for clues on scavenger hunt that ends with dinner, drinks and dancing, silent auction and after party. Register at china­townchase.com. Sat 1/26, (5:30rM.) $150. Hawal'I Magicians Society The international Brotherhood of Magicians hold their monthly meeting. Those interested in becoming one can come to the free beginners magic class, meet­ing at the same location at 6pm. Kalihi-Piilama Library, 1325 Kalih1 St.: Thu 1/24, (7PM.)

Ent ta. t '' " "''"'' er mmen HIM',.ll ! Jl '- ¢h1•:\"r,11!Jorkl101r:J '-\1111:'\\I lllHl' {li!II\IIIUf' '- ::-.,4 ...... *41.t.llD

9 BAFTAAAWARDS BEST Pi°CTURE BEST ACTOR BEST DIRECTOR DANIEL DAY-LEWIS PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON

16 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

Korean Adoptees of Hawal'i Adult Korean adoptees age 18 and over are invited to attend this monthly meeting and informational ses­sions. E-mail [email protected] or call 371-0644. Sat 1/29, (6rM.) Free. Locks of Love Ready to get rid of that long hair? If you have 10 in~hes that you're will­ing to spare, consider donating it to children suffering hair loss from medical conditions. Professional stylists on hand to fix you up. DaSpace, 1192 Smith St.: Fri 2/1351-4960 New Year's Kimono Dressing for Girls and Seijinshikl For girls and 20-year-old males; bring your own camera. UH Lab School, Dole St. and University Ave.: Sat 1/28, (9AM-3:30rM.) Donation apprecicated. 956-8288, 947-8889 'i'Nu'uanu Mardi Gras Celebration Get ready for two contests, with $500 prizes given to best float and best entertainer (involves both costume and spirit). Nu'11a1111 Ave. (betwee11 Pauahi a11d Ki11g St.). Tue 2/5, (6-lOPM.) Worm Workshop Recycle with earth­worms-learn to vermicompost! Fee includes mini-bin, starter colony of worms and owner's manual. Register by calling 382-0432 or e­mail [email protected]. Miinoa Garde11s Recreational Ce11ter, 2790 Kahaloa Dr.: Sat 1/26, (9:30AM.) $30. 488-4458

Volunteer The ARTS at Marks Garage The leading contemporary art venue seeks assistance with various events including First Fridays, galley sitting and art installations. E-mail info@ artsatmarks.com for more information. The ARTS at Marks Garage, 1159 Nu'uanu Ave.: www.artsatmarks.com, 521-2903 Hawal'i State Art Museum Docents Share your enjoyment of art with others. The four­month course begins 2/5; enrollment is lim­ited, call 586-9958 for information. Hawai'i State Art Museum, No. 1 Capitol District Bldg., 250 S. Hotel St.: Free. 586-0900 Humpback Whale Sanctuary Ocean Count Help monitor the number of whales around the islands by volunteering as a site leader or general volunteer. Check pacificwhale.org or (800) 942-5311. Sat 1/26, (8AM-12:15PM.) Maklkl Watershed Awareness Initiative Help restore a small portion of the Makiki Watershed by caring for native plants and pulling weeds. Bring long-sleeve shirt, pants, gloves, bug spray, water, lunch and sturdy shoes. Meet at the Makiki Forestry baseyard, by the Hawai'i Nature Center: Every fourth Sat, (9AM-2PM.) 973-9782 Miinoa Heritage Center Docent Training. Train to guide tours through this botanical garden and cultural site. Miinoa Heritage Center. Mon 1/28, (9AM.) manoaheritage­center.org, 988-1287 Recycling Fundraller Help Central Middle School raise funds for a trip to Washingington, D.C. by dropping off your aluminum, plastic and glass recyclables. Every last Saturday of the month. 1812 Kaliikaua Ave., (Next to Hard Rock Cafe): Sat 1/26, (9AM-12PM.) Year of the Reef Launch Event People needed to provide support for the booths, as well as fill other jobs. Volunteers will receive a free International Year of the Reef shirt along with other goodies. State Capitol. Fri 1/25, (10AM-2PM.)

Sports Lokahl Canoe Club New and experienced paddlers of all ages are welcome to join the club. Try it out for a couple of weeks; paddling lessons ongoing. 954-1287 Plpellne Bodysurflng Classic Watermen from around the world come together each year for one day-when the conditions are optimal--for this homegrown event. Check for updates at pipebodysurf.com. Holding period Sun 1/27-Wed 2/6. Sharon's Ride/Walk Choose from the 100-K ride, 75-K ride, 35-K ride, 10-K ride or a 10-K, 5-K and 1-K run/walk into Diamond Head Crater and back. Help raise money for the Epilepsy Foundation. Kapi'olani Community College. Sun 1/27, (6AM reg­istration.) $30-$35. hawaiiepilepsy.com, 528-3058 SplnFest Reserve your space and time for the 12-hour indoor cycling marathon-a fundar­iser for the Epilepsy Foundation of Hawaii. A post-spin reception with wine, cheese, prizes and live music follows the event. Honolulu Club, 932 Ward Ave.: Fri 1/25, (6AM-6PM.) $20 suggested donation. 543-3910

Neighbors Humpback Whale Sanctuary Ocean Count Help monitor the number of whales and other marine mammals around the islands by vol­unteering as a site leader or general volunteer on Kaua'i, Maui and the Big Island. Check pacificwhale.org or call (800) 942-5311. Sat 1/26, (8AM-12:15PM.) 'i'James Cotton The multi Grammy-nominated blues wonderkind brings his superharp and down home rhythm and blues, trans/..,rming the Islands Hut into a Mississippi Juke Joint. Travis Haddox opens. Tickets available at hawaiisbesttickets. com or by phone at 545-2980. Wed 1/30, KCC Performing Arts Center, Kaua'i, 7:30PM; Fri 2/1, Castle Theater, Maui, 7:30PM; Sat 2/2, Palace Theater,Hilo, 7:30PM. $38-50. 941-5205 New Culture Camp Two programs (Week end or week-long) to learn the skills of inti­macy, authentic connection and more. Infor­mation available at permaculture-hawaii.com. Fri 2/15-2/23. $200-$700. Organic Crop Inspection Training Course For organic inspectors or those who are interest­ed in becoming an organic inspector. Sponsored by Independent Organic Inspectors Association and Organic Farmers Association. Deadline to apply is 2/1. Email hofa@hawaiiorganicfarmers. org for application. Hilo, Hawai'i. Fri 2/22-Tue 2/26. $950. Scholarships & communter dis­counts available. 808-969-7789 Wellness Expo Workshops and exhibits pro­vide information on holistic healing, massage, yoga, nutrition, reflexology, and much more. Kaua'i War Memorial Conve11tion Hall, Lihue, Kaua'i: Sat 1/26, 9AM-5rM; Sun 1/27, 9AM-4PM. $5 per day; $8 both. (808) 828-2120

Mixed Media From tile Top The hit radio show showcases the November performance from the Hawaii Theatre. KHPR 88.1 FM. Sat 1/26, (10AM.) 955-8821 Garage Cinema Dedicated to the apprecia­tion of independent, cutting-edge, low bud­get and student cinema, fans gather once a month to help you discover something new, or rediscover something beloved. Submissions welcome. Tue 1/28. rRed Elephant, 1144 Bethel St.: Last Tue of every month, (7PM.) $5. rredelephant.com, 545-2468 Long Road to Heaven A film examing the 2002 Bali bombings. Korean Studies Build­ing, UH Manoa: Wed 1/23, (6:30rM.) Free. 'i'Spllt Obsession/Angry Woebot Art Signing Showcasing the release of Angry Woebot's new limited edition print and t­shirt. For more information, go to splitob­session.com. split obsession, Koko Marina: Sat 1/28, (5-8PM.) Free. 395-3380 Waban·Akl: People from Wllere the Sun Rises with Alanis Obomsawln Obamsawim returns to the Canadian village in which she was raised to craft a history of her people. Yukiyoshi Room, Krauss Hall, UH-Mlinoa campus: Fri 1/25, (7PM.) Free. The World of Soul Saviour God vs. Satan in the battle for human souls. See who will sink who's battleship. rRed Elephant, 1144 Beth, l St.: Tue 1/29, (7PM.) Free. 545-2468

Submissions "The Scene" provides groups and individu­als with free listings of community events, · activities and entertainment. Submissions must include the following:

• Date and time;

• Location (include a street address);

• Cost or admission price (please note if event is free);

• Contact phone number;

• Description of the event. If submitting an entry to the music section, include the general type of music (jazz, rock, hip­hop, Hawaiian, etc.),

Deadline for "The Scene" submissions is two weeks before the listing should appear. Listings appear the last Wednesday before the event. "The Scene" is also posted each week on our Web site, at honoluluweekly.com.

Send all submissions do Honolulu Weekly Calendar Editor, 1111 Fort Street Mall, Hono­lulu, 1Il96813,fax to 528-3144 or e-mail cal­[email protected]. Submissions are not accepted over the phone. Please note: We welcome photographs with submissions, but cannot guarantee returns- please do not send original art. •

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Film

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Monster's Ball

RYAN SENAGA

Let it be said JJ Abrams has an amazing gift for creating hype. After its tantalizing trailer last summer,

Cloverfield had geeks the world over scouring the Net. They chased down viral sites devoted to Slusho drinks, watched fake news footage of collapsing oil rigs, ooh-ed over

photos of beached sperm whales with half their heads chomped, and even bickered on message boards about the title. (The trailer ended only with the release date.) Once confirmed it would indeed be a gi­ant-monster-destroying-New York movie-filmed from a panicked citizen's point of view through a handheld digi-cam-the fervor erupted. It will be an American Godzilla via Blair Witch flick for a new generation.

PG-13 PARBffS STROIIGlY CAUnONE11 ~

Alas, the hype was too much for this little experiment. Given its con­cept-big lizard stomps Manhattan to rubble-Cloverfield curiously seems to be consciously trying not to be a creature feature; it refuses to have any fun. But if you're not go­ing to decapitate the Statue of Lib­erty for matinee thrills, you better have a darn good reason and the film gets its "point" muddled.

The first third of the quick 90 minutes is taken up by sub-par, What About Brian-level yammer­ing concerning the main charac­ters' relationship trouble during a yuppie soiree. Rob is given a go­ing away party, documented on a video camera by his best friend Hud. Once the carnage begins, Rob treks through the destruction with a group of faithful friends in tow to find his love interest Beth, who is trapped in her apartment. Through Hud's extremely unsteady hands, we witness the night's devastation. Those who were nauseous during The Bourne Ultimatum's handheld jitters will be puking in the aisles for this one.

In addition to the banal first part of the film, the largest problem is New York's chosen destructor. For a project that sought to redefine the genre ... the monster sucks. It's ba­sically a giant Pumpkinhead with a tail and two red breathing sacs like a chameleon. And with such few appearances, poor Clover-Creature barely qualifies as a supporting ac-

tor. (If the above reference is too ob­scure, google Pumpkinhead. You'd swear they were separated at birth. Somebody please hire a comic book artist to create a new movie mon­ster. A truly radical design hasn't been seen since Predator.)

To fill in screen-time and save the audience from listening to the characters whine, bicker and get emo, there are parasites that fall

]] Abrams' Cloverfield is monstrous, all right off the creature's back. The leeches tum out to be rip-offs of the insects in Starship Troopers and the face­huggers from Alien, with some ta­rantula furriness thrown in. That's not the only derivative element of Ridley Scott's groundbreaking sci­fi horror classic. Let's just say the crawlies leave a bit more than teeth­marks after a bite.

The shaky-cam POV turns into · a cheap gimmick as well. Literally. One wonders if when told his actual budget, Abrams came up with the concept simply to save money and not have to provide clear, focused shots of the beasts, which is really the bottom line for this genre. The

extremely unsteady tracking also renders much of the action impos­sible to see; it's hard to tell what's going on in any given scene. In­stead of creating panic or terror steeped in realism, the perspective simply instills confusion and narra­tive gaps.

The resources seem to have in­stead been devoted to lovingly de­stroying Manhattan. With scenes of dust explosions blowing down streets as buildings collapse and sheets of paper butterfly-ing in the air during the aftermath, it is obvi­ous Cloverfield seeks to be some sort of parable on 9/11, as well as on the guiltily watch-able, private citizens' video documentations of a disaster on YouTube. But, by choos­ing to keep the monster's origins and mythos so cloaked in mystery in an effort to avoid the hokey sci­entific or military explanations that usually accompany Godzilla's skyscraper-smashing, there really is no symbolism to ponder. Things ultimately go nowhere, causing the intentions to feel more exploitative than deep, and the perspectives to seem more of an eager-to-please de­vice than a mark of genuine origi­nality. (Although comically flawed, last year's The Host from Korea did a better everyman angle with a more revolutionary monster.) Con­scientious monster-mashing may be something the Japanese inherently understood with their lumbering, metropolis-decimating beasts. •

' Fred Spanjaard of Global Media Productions presents:

An evening with

DEEPAI{ CHOPRA Monday, January 28th

7:30PM HAWAI'I CONVENTION

CENTER CHARGE BY PHONE:

(877) 750-4400 $45 General Admission

$65 -Silver Seating

$100 Goid Seating

Tickets Available:

TICKETMASTER.COM All TIP,KETMASTER OUTLETS (incluaing TIMES SUPERMAR -

KBTS), BLAISDELL ARENA BOX OFFICE, BYU HAWAII

- s. .. lllllflll lllJ It tap,ropnall hi C)lldr11 Udor 13 ® - rat• CMrOEANDSEXUALCONTENTTHROUGtt.QS.a.. -·· • ~ · - • • .-.. ·

LANGUAGE AND SOME COMIC YK>LENCE.. www.tlle&ttfl8$plrf811&.C811$,, ·-..,. · •=tit+t+1 INSPIRATION JJ,11r 1ro1mYi i Cl.-~~-

STARTS FRIDAY, JANUARY 25 CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRES ANO SHOWTIMES · MOBll! US!HS: FOIi Sltown11s • Tm SPARTANS Wm1 You1 ZIP COO! To 43KIK (435491!

-<C-E·--.... GLOBAL MEDI~

PltODUCT!ONS

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 17

r

... t. '". '.J .. ,.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Film

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Real People BOB GREEN

T :~~::::~~:~ She's the writer-di­rector of the most unlikely movie

around, a tough, funny, unsenti­mentalized The Savages, and does she know human nature. And does she know how to write and direct! The three best original scripts of the 2007 season (including Jan. '08) are Juno, Michael Clayton, and The Savages-the latter being the toughest one of all.

How in God's name does a di­rector like Jenkins-remember The Slums of Beverly Hills?-raise money for an indie about an alien­ated brother and sister, both in early middle-age, trying to deal with a bastard of a father now entering de­mentia, dependent upon "children" from whom he's been estranged? These are real people, mind you, not Hollywood studio characters--­self-absorbed, neurotic, fucked up, emotionally needy, having turned failure into an art form. These two are real pros at screwing up, and now here's dad, turned out of his re­tirement village and needing help. How can they help him when they

.-w 0 Film

locations and times -are subject

"" to change. Please call

venues cu for latest information ·-Legend: g Showing•

Closing• Opening•

E

can scarcely help themselves? Luckily for us all, these two­

Wendy and Jon Savage-are played by the two best actors of their gen­eration, Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman, who could not be better at their task. These two actors, at the top of their game, nail their characters so completely, so specifically, and with such psycho­logical acuity that it's practically an epiphany for a grown-up audience. They are matched every step of the way, as unlikely as that seems, by Broadway's Philip Bosco as the

Pulling no punches, The Savages is one of 2007's best movies failing father, whose descent is heart-wrenching but never softened nor sentimentalized. These are real people---perhaps too real for some audiences. And the movie is funny, deeply-funny the same way life is deeply-funny-if you can take it.

Some particulars: Wendy is a

Regal Cinemas no longer releases its movie listings in time for Honolulu Weekry to publish them.

....................... Town DOLE CANNERY 735-B lwilei Road 526-3456 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 1:35, 2:15, 4:40, 4:50, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 10:05); Ahin and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 1:55, 4:40); Atonement (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:55, 6:50, 9:4); The Bucket l.ist (Wed & Thu 2:20, 4:55, 7:20, 9:55); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1:30, 2:40, 3:40, 5, 5:50, 7:15, 8:10, 9:30, 10:20); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10); The Great Debaters (Wed 1:15, 6:45, Thu 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:45); I Am 1.egend (Wed & Thu 2:10, 4:45, 7:25, 10:10); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 1:05, 4:05, 6:55, 9:45); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 2, 4:30, 7:05, 9:30); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1, 3:50, 7, 9:50); No Country for Old Men (Wed & Thu 6:30, 9:25); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 7:40, 10:25); The Orphanage (Wed & Thu 2:30, 5:30, 7:50, 10:15); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 2:05, 4:20); Sweeney TIHbl (Wed & Thu 1:25, 4:15, 7:05, 10:15); There Will le Blood (Wed & Thu 2:45, 6:15, 9:35);

RESTAURANJ ROW 500 Ala Moana Blvd. 526-4171 • 30 Days of Night (Wed & Thu 1:05, 4, 7, 9:20); American Gangster (Wed & Thu I, 4:30, 8); August Rush (Wed & Thu 1:20, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50); Bee Movie (Wed & Thu 1:50, 4:50, 7:45, 10); Beowulf (Wed & Thu 1:15, 4:05, 7:05, 9:40); The Game Plan

18 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

struggling NYC playwright, now doing an autobiographical play about her (and her brother's) child­hood, a mixture of naturalism and magical realism, the latter sorely lacking in her life-wherein she's having a joyless affair with a mar­ried man, Her brother, a "social drama" professor in Buffalo, is try­ing to write a book on Bertolt Bre­cht, and unable to commit to mar­rying his girlfriend, newly sent back to Poland. The two meet up, bick­ering wildly, and father is brought to Buffalo to a no-frills assisted­living institution, too basic to pro­vide comforting illusions. Wendy is heart-broken, Jon resigned-and father knows and does not know where he is and what's going on. Wendy stays on a bit with Jon while father is "oriented" in his new, and final, digs. Naturally, Wendy and Jon, more comfortable with conflict than harmony, lay into each other, exacerbating old and new wounds, a study in folly and pain.

There is not one scene in this finely-wrought film that does not belong to the mosaic of human struggle, accommodation, and com­promise. By the end of the film, we feel that we actually know brother and sister, that they are more than emotionally immature siblings

(Wed & Thu 1:30, 4:20, 7:20, 9:35); Ditman (Wed & Thu 2, 5, 7:50, 10:05); I.ion for I.ambs (Wed & Thu 1:45, 4:45, 7:35, 9:55); Mr. Margorium's Wonder Emporium (Wed & Thu 1:35, 4:35, 7:30, 9:45);

WARD STADIUM 1044 Auahi St. 593-3000 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 2:15, 4:55, 7:40, 10:15); Amo and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:50,); Atonement (Wed & Thu 1:25, 4:20, 7:10, 9:55); The Bucket 1.ist (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:45, 7:30, 9:55); Charlie Wilson's War (Wed & Thu 7:25, 10); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:55, 8, 10:30); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:40, 7, 9:45); The Great Debaters (Wed & Thu 7:25, 10:15); I Am l.egend (Wed & Thu 2, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45);Juno (Wed & Thu 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10:20); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:45, 7:05, 10:05); National 'lreasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1:05, 4:15, 7:15, 10:10); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 1:35, 3:50, 7:45, 10); P.S. I love You (Wed & Thu 1:20, 4:15, 7:10, 10:05); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 1:55, 4:25); Sweeney Todd (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:55, 7:05, 9:50); There Will le Blood (Wed & Thu 1, 2:30, 5, 7, 8:30, 10:30);

....................... Windward KEOW CENIER CINEMA 1090 Keolu Dr. 18081 263-4171 + Alien vs. Predator: R•em (Fri 4:45, 7:45, 9:45, Sat & Sun 1:45, 4:45, 7:45, 9:45, Mon & Tue 4:45, 7:45); August Rush (Wed & Thu 4:15, 7:15, Fri 4:15, 7:15, 9:35, Sat & Sun 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:35, Mon & Tue 4:15, 7:15,); Beowulf (Wed & Thu 4, 7, Fri 7, Sat & Sun 1, 7, Mon & Tue 7); Charlie Wilson's War (Fri 4:30, 7:30, 9:40, Sat 1:30, 4:30, 7:30,

caught up in the vicissitudes of life, that they are decent people trying to do right by their irascible, pitiable father. Somehow the actors and the writer-director bring humor and odd courage to these proceedings, make us care for these imperfect people not in the least equipped for what life has given them.

The central conflicts here make it difficult for brother and sister to say yes to life, to soldier through, how­ever clumsily, however artlessly, in the face of modern circumstances,

9:40, Sun 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, Mon & Tue 4:30, 7:30); Dan In Real l.ife (Wed & Thu 4:45, 7:45, Fri & Sat 4, 9:30, Sun-Tue 4);

• Thu 1/24: 30 Days of Night (Wed & Thu 4:30, 7:30);

KO'OLAU STADIUM Temple Valley Shopping Center (8081 593-3000 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu l, 3:15, 5:30, 7:50, 10:05); Amo and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:35, 9:35,); The Bucket l.ist (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 9:55,); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1, 3, 5, 7, 9,); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 1:40, 3:50, 7:20, 9:55); I Am l.egend (Wed &

Thu 7:10, 9:30); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:55, 7, 9:40); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:25, 5:40, 7:50, 10); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:55, 7:05, 9:45); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed &

Thu 1:45, 3:45); The Water Horse: l.egend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:50, 7:10, 9:40);

SIGNATURE WINDWARD STADIUM 46-056 Kamehameha Hwy., Bldg. G 234-4000 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10); Amo and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 12:15, 2:25, 4:40, 6:50, 9:15); The Bucket l.ist (Wed & Thu 12:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 11:30, 1:35, 3:40, 5:45, 7:50, 9:55); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 11:50, 2:20, 5:05, 7:25, 9:45); I Am l.egend (Wed & Thu 11:35, 2, 4:25, 6:45, 9:lO);Juno (Wed & Thu 11:55, 2:15, 4:50, 7:10, 9:40); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7, 9:25); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 12:35,"3:50, 7:05, 9:55); The Water Horse: l.egend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 12:45, 3:55);

modern realities. And, in doing so, the two finally come to terms with their shared childhood. The film, however, is neither clumsy or artless.

It's that little miracle of an im­portant story well told that is almost impossible to tell. It's a good, good movie-if you can take it.

Both Laura Linney (best actress cat­egory) and Tamara Jenkins (original screenplay category) were nominated for Oscars Jan. 22. •

....................... East KAHALA 8-PLEX Kahala Mall, 4211 Wai'alae Ave. 18081 296-1818 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 1:40, 5, 7:30); Amo and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 1:50, 4:30, 7); The Bucket l.ist (Wed & Thu I, 3:20, 5:40, 8); Charlie Wilson's War (Wed & Thu 7:20); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:40, 5:45, 7:50); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1:20, 4:20, 7:10); The Orphanage (Wed & Thu 2:10, 4:50, 7:40); The Water Horse: l.egend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:45);

KOKO MARINA STADIUM 8 593-3000 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 1:20, 3:55, 7,); The Bucket l.ist (Wed & Thu 2, 4:20, 7:45); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:40, 6, 8); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 1:40, 3:55, 7:30,); I Am I.egend (Wed & Thu 2:15, 4:40, 7:40); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 1, 3:50, 7); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 1:40, 4:05, 7:15); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1, 3:50, 7:10);

....................... Central MIULANI TOWN CENID STADIUM 14 95-1249 Meheula Parkway 18081 593-3000 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 1:15, 3:45, 7:05, 9:30); Amo and the Chipmunb (Wed & Thu 1:20, 3:30, 6:15, 8:30,); The Bucket Ust (Wed & Thu 1:25, 3:40, 7, 9:15); Cloverfield (Wed & Thu 1, 3:05, 5:10, 7:30, 10); First Sunday (Wed & Thu 1:40, 3:55, 7, 9:20); The Golden Compass (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:35, 6:55, 9:25); I Am 1.egend (Wed & Thu 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:25); In the Name of the 11mg: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 1, 3:50, 6:45, 9:30);Juno (Wed & Thu

.........,_..--~-------------~--------------------- ---- ~

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Film

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Caged In RYAN SENAGA

B ack in 2004, Nation­al Treasure opened amid the country's

· pinnacle of fervor for Dan Brown's novel

The Da Vinci Code. News broke that a film version of the book was abol!t to start production and Nicolas Cage's insignificant, yet casually en­tertaining film, rode the coattails of hype and mixed in some "American history" for good, patriotic red-state measure. After making over $170 million in the U.S. alone, a sequel was inevitable, thus we have Na­tional Treasure: Book of Secrets-a good-natured Disney flick that is also a completely sloppy and as­toundingly mediocre sequel without a single original bone in its body.

Cage again plays the amusingly named Benjamin Franklin Gates, treasure hunter extraordinaire. Dur­ing a lecture on John Wilkes Booth, a menacing Ed Harris appears with one of the missing pages from the diary of Lincoln's assassin, implicat­ing Gates' great, great grandfather as one of the conspirators in Lincoln's death. Cage and company swing into action to clear his ancestor's name. To do this, they must discover a hid­den Native American city of gold.

No, it doesn't make a helluva lot of sense, but it's an excuse to embark on a wild code chase that takes them

1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45, 10); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:50, 7:15, 9:40); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:55, 6:45, 9:35,); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 1:35, 3:40, 5:45, 7:50, 9:55); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:15, 6:20, 8:30); Sweeney Todd (Wed & Thu 7:05, 9:40); The Water Horse: legend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:35);

PEARL HIGHLANDS 1000 Kamehameha Hwy. 455-6999 + 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:15); Alvin and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 11:35, 2, 4:30, 7:05, 9:30); The Bucket List (11:30, 2:05, 4:40, 7:20, 9:50); Cloverfteld (Wed & Thu 11:45, 12:30, 2:15, 3. 4:45, 5:30, 7:15, 8, 9:45, 10:30); first Sunday (Wed & Thu 12:25, 2:55, 5:25, 7:55, 10:25); I Am Legend (Wed & Thu 7:25, 9:55); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 12:05, 3:40, 7:10, 10:05);Juno (Wed & Thu 11:55, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35, 10:10); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 11:40, 2:~0, 5, 7:40, 10:20); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 12:15, 3:45, 6:55, 10:05,); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 12:45, 3:05, 5:20, 7:55, 10:20); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 12:35, 2:50, 5:10);

· PEARLRIDGE WEST 18081 593.3000

+ 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 12:30, 3, 5:20, 7:45, 10:10); Alvin and the Chipmunks (Wed&Thu 12:15, 2:45, 5:05, 7:35, 9:45); The Bucket List (Wed & Thu 1: 10, 3:20, 5:50, 8, 10:15); Cloverfteld (Wed & Thu 12, 1, 2:50, 3:40, 5:15, 6:25, 7:15, 8:25, 9:20); first Sunday (Wed & Thu 12, 2:30, 5, 7:15, 9:35); I Am legend (Wed & Thu 12:50, 3:10, 5:25, 7:45, 10:05); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 12:45, 3:30, 7:05, 9:55);

to France to visit one of the Statues of Liberty, the Queen's office in Buckingham Palace to unlock an artifact from her desk, and most sig­nificantly, the Oval Office to check out the President's desk as well. It is then discovered that there exists a Presidential Book of Secrets: every noteworthy United States conspiracy that existed-Area 51, Watergate, the Kennedy Assassination-are all in that book, and the only way to get it is to kidnap the President.

The Book of Secrets' idea is in-

National Treasure is an infantile Indiana Jones parody triguing but unfortunately, it is only a subplot here; nothing is done with the potential for uncovering the vast clandestine schemes that has become myth for this nation. Instead of fol­lowing those possibilities, faster than you can say North by Northwest, we are whisked to Disneyland theme park ride catacombs hidden un­der Mount Rushmore with Indiana Jones-lite booby-trap shenanigans.

The few small joys offered in these couple hours come from cast­ing. The President, played by Bruce

Juno (Wed & Thu 12:55, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55); The Kite Runner (Wed & Thu 7:10, 10); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 12:15, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:45); National Treasure: Book ofSecrets (Wed & Thu 12:30, 3:30, 7:05, 9:55,,); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 12:45, 2:45, 4:50, 7:35, 9:45); The Orphanage (Wed & Thu 2:35, 3:05, 5:20, 7:45, 10:05); P.S. I Love You (Wed & Thu 12:50, 3:30, 7, 9:50); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 12:20, 2:20, 4:20); Sweeney Todd (Wed & Thu 7:30, 10:05); The Water Horse: legend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 12, 2:25, 5,);

North Shore IMAX POLYNESIAN CULnJRAL CENTER 55-370 Kamehameha Hwy; (Closed on Sundays.) 293-3280

+ Coral Reef Adventure (Wed-Tue 1:30, 3, 4, 5, 6);

LA'IE CINEMAS 55-510 Kamehameha Hwy. (Closed on Sundays) 293-7516

+ 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 4, 7, 9:45); The Great Debaters (Wed & Thu 3:45, 6:45, 9:30);

Leeward KAPOLEI MEGAPLEX 890 Kamokila Blvd. 18081 593.3000

+ 27 Dresses (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:55, 7:35, IO); Alvin and the Chipmunks (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:25, 9:30); The Bucket List (Wed & Thu 1:20, 3:40, 7:15, 9:15); Cloverfteld (Wed & Thu 1, 1:45, 3, 3:50, 5:05, 7:05, 7:30, 9:15, 10); first Sunday (Wed & Thu 1:30, 3:50, 7:40, 9:55); The Golden Compass (Wed & Thu 1:50,

Greenwood, his second role as com­mander-in-chief, after starring as Kennedy in Thirteen Days. He has an easy-going and appealing sense of humorous authority and he gives the ridiculous plot a surprising aura of dignity whenever he's onscreen. Also genuinely fun is Helen Mirren, slumming as Cage's professor moth­er. After winning an Oscar being such a stately Queen Elizabeth, it's amusing to see her involved in this nonsense, crawling around cobweb­filled caves, swinging on vines, and sucking face with Jon Voight-you go get that paycheck, girl!

Taking the massive box office dollars that moviegoers lavished on this flick into consideration, one can't help but speculate what the collective Mood of Cinema is cur­rently like. To be charitable, in these times when it is practically second nature to mistrust and harbor sus­picions about our current adminis­tration, perhaps National Treasure provides a sort of comfort that someone out there is going through great, strenuous lengths to atone for the sins of our leaders. This may be why people are flocking to see this movie and really, in that light, who are we to harshly judge the reasons behind their choices? Heaven help us, though, if such a tome of secrets really did exist for our country's Presidents. That would mean it is in the hands of GWB. •

4:25, 7:10, 9:40); I Am legend (Wed & Thu 1:25, 3:45, 7:05, 9:30); In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (Wed & Thu 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:SO);Juno (Wed & Thu l, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55); Mad Money (Wed & Thu 1:40, 5:10, 7:30, 9:55); National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:55, 7, 9:45); One Missed Call (Wed & Thu 1:10, 3:15, 5:15, 7:55, 10:05); The Orphanage (Wed & Thu 1:45, 4:30, 7:15, 9;35); P.S. I Love You (Wed & Thu 7:10, 9:50); The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Wed & Thu 1:05, 3:05, 5:10); The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep (Wed & Thu 1:55, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45);

Art House DORIS DUKE THEATRE Honolulu Academy of Arts, 900 S. Beretania St. $7 general, $5 members. 532-8768 + Amar Akbar Anthony (Sun 1); Dilwale Dulhania leJayenge (The Braveheart Will Take the Bride) (Mon 7:30); forever (Wed-Fri 1, 7:30); Kuch Kuch Rota Dai (Something Happens) (Tue 1, 73'.l); Mugahl-E-Azam (Loves of a Mughal Prince) (Sat 1, 7:30); Satte Pe Satte (Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) (Sun 7:30);

MOVIE MUSEUM 3566 Harding Ave. $5 general, $4 members. 735-8771

+ le Bonheur Dan le Pre (Fri & Mon 2, 4, 6, 8); Moliere (Thu & Sun 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8); University of Laughs (Sat 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8);

• I

WINNER ~ f WINNER ~ BEST SCREENPLAY BEST ORIGINAi. SCREENPLAY TJlMARA JE.ffKlNS . TAMAM JEHa<JliS

l.QS-ANQE:lf.S flLM CRITICS ASSOCtAl ION SAN FRANOSCO FllJ.f CRmCS ORCLE

"Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman are two of THE MOST TALENTED ACTORS of their generation. yet even with their impressive resumes. this is A TOUR DE FORCE tor both."

Claudia Puig. USA TODAY

CHt(;K LUC1\I , !$T1Nf.S

IOH!.ai(l','JlfM! <,

"THE BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR:' Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

"A FUNNY, SAVVY FEEL•GOOD. COMEDY THAT REMINDS YOU WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH MOVIES IN THE FIRST PLACE:' Kirk Honey,::utt, THE HOLLYWOOO REPORTER

"A THING OF BEAUTY AND GRACE - 1 JUNO' IS A PERFECT

MOVIE AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER WITH EACH VIEWING:'

Robert Wilonslcy, THE VIUAGE VOICE

1'THE FEEL-GOOD MOVIE OF THE SEASON." Jack. Malhew6, NEW YORK DAILY. NEWS

CONSOUOATf.D ~TEO AeGAL Rl:1,.,41 WARD STADIUM 16 KAPOLEJ 16 PEARL HIGHLANDS 12 WINDWARD STADIUM 10 !8Ull!-i•ll!ll1 (808i!>1l3.JODO~ (OO<))F/./<tl,1N00"71i \1!tl)JFAHO\NG0.,7l~ RfGAI. OONSOCIDATED OO\ISO(JQ,\fEQ

DOLE CANNERY18 MIULANI STADIUM 14 PEARLRiDGE WEST 16 . !SOOIFANOANOO•ms '.lloelm-30001>9W1 iSO!il593-- •881'1

CHE.CK LOCA! llSl lNGS

• FOR S-IIOWlfMtcS

Design & Production Interns Wanted

Honolulu Weekly Production Department

is seeking Interns. Build your resume,

get school credit, gain valuable

work experience, and get your

foot in the poor. Flexible hours.

Send your resume to

[email protected]

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 19

I

~---- -----

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • O'ahu Films

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Unattributed film synopses indicate movies ity, is ultimately smart, witty, romantic and victims-the sting of death is there, as it is not not yet reviewed by HW staff winning enough to please both kids and their in ordinary movie violence. The Coen brothers ~ Indicates films of unusual interest parents. (Reviewed 11/28) -Ryan Senaga have turned this movie, faithfully adapted from

First Sunday Tracy Morgan gets laughs in an the terrific Cormac McCarthy novel, into an

Opening otherwise routine heist movie. actual drama. As such it's likely to stay with an

Meet the Spartans From the makers of the ~ The Great Debaters Oprah bankrolled it; attentive audience. As much as anything else,

Epic Movie comes a pastiche-lampoon of many Denzel directed it. Denzel Washington stars it's a story about death, and that story always

recent movies, including 300. as a debate coach who sends his students has the same ending. Oscar nominated for Best

Rambo Deja Vu all over again as Sly Stallone to debate the Harvard team. Golden Globe Picture, and Best Director and Best Cinemato-

recycles himself in this unnecessary redun-nominee for best picture. grophy. (Reviewed 11/28)-B. G.

dancy. Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of One Missed Call Miss it.

Untraceable Diane lane in an Internet mur-Both Worlds Concert movie summed up by ~ The Orphanage Not a horror film, but a

der-thriller. the first half of the title. We might argue the well-done Spanish ghost story. latter portion. Shown in 3-D. P.S. I love You Hilary Swank, Lisa Kudrow,

Continuing I Am Legend Will Smith in the third version and Gerard Butler (300) in a romantic comedy of this end-of-the-world saga. Smith and his about a widow guided by her husband's pre-

27 Dresses A romantic comedy starring dog are alone in NYC until some vampires death instructions. Katherine Heigl and perennial pretty-boy show up. A big boxoffice success, but it could ~ The Savages (See review on page 18.) James Marsden. Produced by the folks who have been a lot better. -R. S. ~ Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of gave us The Devil Wears Prada. In the Name of the King Allegedly Medieval Fleet Street Johnny Depp and helmer Tim Alvin and the Chipmunks Jason Lee (Earl) action flick starring Jason Statham. Burton team up for the sixth time for this in a live action/CG! comedy whose title says ~ Juno Unquestionable worth seeing, but musical drama, one hour removed from the it all. Good-looking CG!. purely for that remarkable screenplay and play, about murder and pie-baked cannibal-~ Atonement The best-selling novel, a love how the cast is able to read it--not because ism. With Helena Bonham Carter. Music, of story complicated by the passage of time and of where the story ends up. Oscar nominated course, by Stephen Sondheim. Yes, Depp sings wounded participants, comes to the screen for Best Picture and Original Screenplay. his heart out. Depp was Oscar nominated for with James McEvoy and Keira Knightley. (Reviewed 1/9)-R. S. Best Actor. Nominated for several Golden Globes, and ~ The Kite Runner Good, but a tad melodra-

~ There WIii Be Blood Daniel-Day Lewis Oscar nominated for Best Picture. matic (surprise!) says reviewer Ryan Senaga. Bucket Ust Nicholson and Freeman as old Adapted from the best-seller, directed by

stars in a version of Upton Sinclair's Oil! Paul Thomas Anderson directs. Oscar nominated

coots living it up before they shuffle off the Marc Forester (Never/and). for Best Actor and Best Picture.

mortal coil. Mad Money Diane Keaton, "Queen Latifah, ~ Charlie WIison's War Mike Nichols Katie Holmes and Ted Danson star in a quickie

The Veggie Tales: The Pirates that don't

directs Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Philip comedy of dubious merit: do anything Except provide a thinly-vieled

Seymour Hoffman in a true-life (more or less) National Treasure: Book of Secrets (See Christian morality tale.

story about a politico who, earlier on, tried to review, page 19.) ~ Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story The

do something about the Middle East situation, ~ No Country for Old Men At their best, as best music lampoon film since A Mighty

Afghanistan division. It's a comedy (of errors, they are here, the Coen brothers make mov- Wind. (Reviewed 1/9)-Ryan Senaga

of course) with a stinger in its tail. Philip Sey- ies come together like almost no one else: ~ The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

mour Hoffman is Oscar nominated for best story, acting, theme, cinematography, music, Charming film about a young boy discovering

supporting actor. -Bob Green sound, texture, atmosphere. But if you don't an egg which hatches into a pet, grows, and

Cloverfleld See review on page 17. like movie violence, stay away from this one. winds up the Loch Ness monster.

~ Enchanted It's Amy Adams who carries Not only are the murders often grisly, they are Art House & Short Runs this movie that, deseite its flaws and simelic- treated in such a way that you can feel for the

"The first laugh-out-loud comedy of the new year!"

ICE CUBE

James Thomas, "First Look"IKDNL-1V (ABC)

KATT WILLIAMS

TRACY MORGAN

FIRST SUNDAY w1TH CHI McBRIDE

~ Mollere (France, 2007) This prize-win- Something Happens (India, 1982) Famous ning comedy treats 22 year-old playwright Bollywood love story with fantastic chore-Moliere as a young man looking for a wealthy ograp1iy, action scenes and many songs. Tue benefactor in the year 1644. Hawai'i premiere. 1/29, 1 & 7:30PM Movie Museum, 3566 Harding Ave. #4, Thu Tomom,w May or May Not Be (India, 2003 ) 1124 & Sun 1127, 12:30, 3 5:30 & 8PM, $4 A family Masala epic about a quarreling fam-members, $5 general, 735-8771 ily near financial ruin and the timely arrival of 'e Len BonJeur Dans Le Pre (France, a sexy suitor. Wed 1130, 1 & 7:30PM 1995) Escapist comedy dealing with mis- Munnabhai M.B.B.S. (India, 2003 ) Set in taken identity, tax collectors and marital Mumbai, this is a tale of mistaken identity, confusion. Hawai'i premiere. Movie arraigned marriage and disapproving parents Museum, 3566 Harding Ave. #4, Fri 1/25 of the lead character. Thu 1131, 1 & 7:30PM & Mon 1128, 2, 4, 6, & 8PM, $4 members, Omkara (India, 2003 ) Based on Shake-$5 general, 735-8771 speare's Othello, but given an Indian twist, ~ University of Laughs (Japan, 2005) In this revenge drama has a celebrated love sub-pre-World War II Japan, a young playwright plot. Fri 2/1, 1 & 7:30PM battles a government censor, creating a hilari- Saawariya (India, 2003 ) Starcrossed lov-ous story, starring Koji Yakusho. Winner of a ers are nearly destroyed by both passion and Japanese academy award. Hawai'i premiere. inner turmoil. Sat 2/2, 1 & 7:30PM Movie Museum, 3566 Harding Ave. #4, Sat (All films play at Doris Duke Theater, 3900 1/26, 12:30, 3, 5:30 & 8PM, $4 members, $5 S. Beretania St., $4 members, $5 general, general, 735-8771 735-8771)

Bo!Jlewf o~ Film 7Atival Opening Soon at t e ca amy o rts Casandra's Dream Colin Farrell and Ewan Loves of a Mughal Prince (India, 1960) McGregor co-star in Woody Allen's violent Restored colorized version of a lavish pro- gangster caper. Good advanced word from duction based on a popular tale on the life Cannes. of loves of a prince. Shiraz Jivani will present The Chronicles of Marnia: Prince Cas· the film. (See Hot Picks page 8.) Sat 1/26, 1 plan Sequel to the giant unexpected hit of &7:30PM last year. Amar Akbar Anthony (India, 1977 ) Three Kung Fu Panda. Jack Black stars as an brothers are separated and adopted by three adventurer on the trail of giant pandas. sets of parents. They reunite with a :tion-filled Made of Honor. Doctor McDreamy (Patrick results. Sun 1/27, lpM Dempsey) stars in a comedy of errors about Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (India, an escort in over his head. 1982) Seven brothers, largely uncivilized, Speed Racer The Wachowski brothers are made over by a brother's wife. Sun strike again, in this hyper-action thriller 1/27, 7:30PM starring Matthew Fox. The Braveheart Will Take the Bride (India, Vantage Point Suspenser about a presiden-1995) Love story in which the female's father tial assassination which proves the American tires to arrange a marriage not sought by his president has a double. Dennis Quaid and daughter. Mon 1/28, 7:30PM Matthew Fox star. •

STARTS FRIDAY, JANUARY 25 NOW PLAYING

CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS ·AND SHOWTIMES

SORRY, NO PASSES ACCEPTED FOR THIS ENGAGEMENT.

20 Honolulu Weellly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.hf)llolulu-'dy.com

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Restaurants

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• MALIA LEINAU

Rokkaku brings culture to the mall

Shopping list

EUGENIE GOODMAN

S mooth jazz in the back­ground, the murmur of Japanese voices, taste­ful minimalist setting, handmade serving

pieces- surely you're in an elegant Tokyo bistro. But step outside and, egads, you're in the mauka parking lot of Ala Moana Center.

Between Long's and Genki Sushi lies Rokkaku, a sliver of a restaurant serving "authentic Japa­nese cuisine." For us in Honolulu, who are so familiar with Japanese food, Rokkaku offers an extensive menu with plenty of seasonal spe­cials and is a great place to try the unusual. The whole experience is a soothing retreat from the mall scene outside. Step past the noren through the sliding door and you'll be warmly greeted and seated in a small section with a veiled view of the parking lot, in the skinny main · room lined with banquettes, at the counter facing the chefs, or in a tatami room with two tables and cheater footwells.

There's a large selection of sakes including two different sake sam­plers ($12) for those wanting to taste and compare, and an array of shochu, the potent distilled spirits made from sweet potato and vari­ous grains. Wine and other West­ern beverages are on offer too.

Order early for one of their sig­nature dishes: kamameshi, rice cooked in a ceramic pot until crusty on the bottom with a choice of goodies. It takes 35-40 minutes to prepare and is served with pick­les at meal's end, per tradition. Our favorite is unagi gohan (rice with roasted eel, $22) though the rice with ikura (salmon roe, $20), with shiso ($12), and other choices has their fans. Looking at these prices, you'll see that Rokkaku's not the place for a quick family dinner, but these servings are enough for four especially if you've over-ordered

as we inevitably do. There are so many intriguing and unusual dish­es on the menu that the bill tends to mount without you noticing. In short, Rokkaku is not a place for sumotori, but for those who can appreciate the Japanese concept of exquisite morsels savored slowly.

Several specials are offered each night and an omakase, or chef's choice, menu as well. We enjoyed a dish of delicately textured chilled udon noodles topped with fish roe one night (served first like the other cold dishes) and the grilled pork cheek and leeks marinated in wasabi ($12). A notable specialty is their uni lobster jelly gake, a small dish of steamed shrimp and sea urchin in a lobster broth jelly. The shrimp is crisp-tender, the uni rich and unctuous and the jelly, pure essence of lobster. Oishi! And worth the $ I 6 splurge for a petite portion.

Unlike many Japanese restau­rants the salads are not an after­thought. The generous green salad ($8) is offered with miso or sesame dressing and the Rokkaku salad ($15) is a blend of prawns, scallops and avocado tossed in a slightly spicy dressing. Vegetarians? There are some tofu options (deep-fried tofu w/ hot poached egg ($8), sea­weed salad ($6), green veggies w/ sesame sauce ($5) and various rice ball and rice porridge melanges as well as the veggie kamemeshi offerings.

caramel ice cream ($4) that some of us liked and others thought tasted burnt. There are several red bean variants including a rice cake with either sweet red bean topping and green tea ice cream or "fresh milk pudding" ($7). We saw, but did not sample, the Rokkaku Parfait ($12), a towering creation that looked as if it belonged at Sam Choy's.

All of these dishes are nicely presented on a hand-crafted plate and suitable for sharing. They are brought out one by one so you have time to savor each. New plates are provided with every offering and the servic!! is thoughtful and unobtrusive. The staff cheerfully answer any questions-though with varying degrees of English competency.

Rokkaku translates as six-sided or hexagon and resembles the markings on a turtle, a symbol of luck in Japan. The Executive Chef Hiroshi Shimada began his career at a famous Kaiseki restaurant in Kyoto. After further training in Bangkok and Singapore, he was brought to Hawai'i by the owner of Azabu Yukimura in Tokyo (Where there are reportedly weeks-long waits for a table and much higher tabs). Be sure to check out ·their charming website with a fairly complete menu listing where you're informed that at lunch "When it is possible to sell up, it ends."

Just beware of acute culture shock when you exit Rokkaku and realize you're not in Tokyo any more. •

Among the menu's featured at­tractions are grilled dishes or sum­i yaki. These range from grilled veggies ($12) to Wagyu sirloin ($38), a delicious not-too-sweet · Rokkaku kamo teriyaki (duck breast, $22), Ala Moana Center, #2056, Mall Level, a delectable version of miso-mari- Mauka Side, rokkak.com, 946-3355. nated grilled butterfish ($12), yaki Hours: Daily: 11:30AM-l:30PM; saba sushi (grilled mackerel roll 5:30PM-9PM. sushi, $9) and the juicy and fatty Recommended dishes: kamameshi kurobuta bacon ($22) served with (rice in ceramic pot), sumiyaki (grilled a delectable chopped salsa of was- fish, meat or veggies), uni lobster jelly abi greens. gake

Desserts include a homemade Payment: AmEx, DC, Disc, JCB, MC,V

• I

PRO BOWL PARTY

PACKAGE BRUNCH • RIDE • TICKET

last Call! Snooze you

lose!

CHRONIC P AlN PILOT RESEARCH STUDY

MANAKAI 0 MALAMA Intensive outpatient 12-week multi-disciplinary program combining

modern medicine and traditional healing arts. Cost is fully coveted by HMSA (PPO & HMO only).

Please contact Manakai O Malama 535-5555 www.manakaiomalama.com

Healthy Men? Covance needs healthy men to participate ;n a

med;cal research study.

To qualify you must be: • Age 18 to 35 • In general good health • Nicotine-free for at least 3 months • Able to complete a 3-day/2-night stay with

3 outpatient visits

Participants will receive all study-related exams and investigational medication at no cost. Participants will

receive compensa·tion up to S 1,500 for time and participation in this research study.

Call today for more information!

441-6327

covJttlCE" THE DEVELOPMENT SERVICES COMPANY

One Waterfront Plaza 500 Ala Moana Blvd, Suite 400

Honolulu Weekly restaurant reviewers dine anonymously, editorial integrity being our first priority. Reviewers may visit the establishment more than once, and any interviews with restaurant staff are conducted after the visits. We do not run photos of the reviewers, and the Weekly pays the tab. The reviews are not influenced by the purchase of advertising or other incentives. Test With The Best.co m Stud 7706-119

________________________ .. www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29. 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 21

WINNER Best Documentary - 2007 Hawaii International FilmFestiva

CHEF KEITH ENoo's

"TASTE OF IT ALY" VALENTINE'S DAY

DINNER

f EBRUARY 14TH

A~bouche, Lobster "creme brulee"

w/ creme fraiche, tobiko caviar

FlrrtCow-~ Roasted Heirloom Candy

Striped Beet Salad

Secorui,Cow-~ Butter poached Kona

Maine Lobster w/ fresh Oregon chanterelle

· mushroom carnaroli risotto

Third,Cow-~ Black Truffle Crusted

Braised Prime Short Rib w/ house-made ricotta gnocchi

Ve»eVtCow-~ Kula Strawberry &

Chocolate Tiramisu

$55 ++ Menu subject to change

Open S:00 - 9:30 pm Restaurant Row

Reservations recommended

Call 524-8466 for Reservations

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

EAT WELL AT

~

Honolulu Weekly seeks Display Account Executive

We have an exceptional team of professionals who work hard and enjoy what·they do.

We're looking for someone with a passion for our product and who can sell with integrity.

You should be able to multi-task, prioritize and work with deadlines ... 'cause you're gonna need to do it all!

Sales experience and familiarity with the alternative press is definitely a plus, but we'll train the right person for the job. We offer a base salary plus commissions,

a generous vacation policy and a health insurance plan that includes drug, dental and vision.

Send resume and cover letter with 3 references to [email protected]

HONOLULU

Weekly· 22 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Restaurants

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Cafe & Dell Abbe Brewster Caffe 451 Pi'ikoi St. (596-8866). Mon-Sat 11AM-9AM. Cup of house coffee: $1.75. Entrees: $6.50-$10.95. AmEx, MC, V.

You can get a perfectly pulled espresso and chicken karaage. Build your own salad with ingredients like spicy albacore (actually-more sweet), chickpeas and feta cheese. Bring your laptop and sit a while­there's free Internet access and cool indiepop.

Bert's Cafe 939 McCully St. (941-2810). Mon-Sat 7:20AM-1PM. $1.25-$5. Cash only.

This McCully cafe is a monetary bargain that serves up an endan­gered old-time neighborhood charm that money can't buy. A complete breakfast is cheap, and the saimin and hamburgers aren't fancy but are just what they should be: deliciously satisfying and familiar.

Coffeeline Campus 1820 University Ave. (next to the Atherton YMCA) 778-7909, Mon-Fri 7AM-3:30PM; Sat, Sun & holidays 9AM-noon, $2-$7. Cash only.

Serving up strong, tasty coffee to wash down his made-with-care soups, salads, waffles, omelets, sandwiches and bagels. Coffeeline, with its open roof and art displays, is a peaceful retreat with plenny good reading material: The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly, Inter­view, The Utne Reader.

Daily Bread 1909 South King St. (951-6634). Mon­Sat, 7AM-7PM. Cash only.

With a dollop of European-style but­ter, something as simple as a slice of bread can be as exquisite and heart­warming as a fine chocolate truffle. Daily Bread makes a rare attempt to be a true boulangerie. Aside from baguettes, there are batards, boules, rectangular loaves of soft, sandwich bread, croissants, danishes.

Days of Aloha 1137 11th Ave. between Wai'alae and· Harding Aves, second floor (735-5166). Tues-Sat 11AM-9PM, Sun 11AM-6PM. Sandwiches: $5-$7.25. AmEx. MC, V.

A retro Hawai'i boutique and cafe where you can recline on vintage rattan bark-cloth couches or sit on the breezy balcony. The simple menu includes carefully made sand­wiches, salads of impeccable Pu-pu kea greens, green-tea lattes and a jolting espresso jelly.

Dough nuts

Panya Bistro Ala Moana Center, mauka side next to the Gap (946-6388). Mon-Sat 8AM-10n1; Sun 8AM-10PM. Appetiz­ers $4.50-$9.99. Entrees: $7.50-$26. AmEx, Disc, MC, V.

The Ala Moana off-shoot of the "Euro-Japanese" bakery mini-chain is a postmodern tea room (or cof-fee house) with sleek neo-Bauhaus design elements and blue-grey walls. Nibble on Japanese cheesecake or dig into full-fledged meals such as laksa (curry noodle soup) and rack of Jamb.

This Is It Bakery & Deli 443 Cooke St. between Pohukaina and Auahi Sts. (597-1017), Mon-Fri 6AM-4PM, Sat 7AM-3PM; This ls It Too, 1001 Bishop St. and Alakea (526! 2280), Mon-Fri 5:30AM-2:30PM. Plain bagels: 85 cents each, $9 a dozen. AmEx, Disc, MC, V.

Bagels, sandwiches, salads and des­serts are also on the menu. When it comes to bagels, well, this is it.

Chinese Fook Lam Seafood Restaurant Chinatown Cultural Plaza, JOO N. Bere­tania St. (523-9168). Daily 8AM-3PM and 5-lOPM. Dim sum from $1.90. MC, V.

The dim sum cart comes around more often than at the bigger dim sum palaces, and cheap prices mean your stomach can be as big as your eyes. Superior taro gok and shrimp gau, when hot out of the kitchen, are highlights. Augment your plate with a handful of filled look fun rolls and house specialty braised e-mein.

Happy Day Restaurant 3553 Wai'alae Ave. at 11th Ave (738-8666). Daily 8:30AM-10:30PM. Dim sum: $2.30 per plate. AmEx, Disc, MC, V.

Servers greet customers like old friends. The place is great for big family dinners (Peking duck is tops), but it also has good dim sum. The turnip cake t an't be beat. The cooks turn coarse, bland daikon into delicately crusted creamy, savory­sweet squares.

Kirin at Ala Moana Center Ala Moana Center, street Level, makai side (946-1888). Daily 10:30AM-10PM (dim sum served J0:30AM-5PM). Dim sum: $2.75-$3.95. Entre, ,.· $8.95-$/5. AmEx, Disc, JCB, MC, V.

This Kirin is the chic younger sister to the 20-year-old Kirin on Bereta­nia. Here you order from a menu, not carts, and chef Shen King Kan (previously at Legend) updates dim

We never expected it to happen, but when the Taco Bell on Fort Street Mall closed, HPU students on a budget were forced to scramble to find sustenance for $2 or less. Fortunately, Rada's Piroscki can fill the void in your stomach without creating one rn your wallet. The Russian dumpling, filled with chicken or beef, is essentially a donut with­out the sugar, and a choice of mushroom, cabbage or cheese to complement the filling. The result is something so heavy that you won't think about eating for the rest of the day. If you want a more well-rounded meal, lunch combos are also available served with fried squid and tossed salad, but more than likely, one will be more than enough. Eat two and you're to be able to sleep peacefully through your next class. And you were planning to do that anyway, right?

-Dean Carrico Rada's Piroscki 7746 Fort Street Mall

sum. Try the broth-filled Shanghai juicy pork buns. For a bigger meal, there are also entrees like Peking duck and Tai Shan crab.

Legend Seafood Chinatown Cultural Plaza, JOO N. Beretania St at River St (532-1868). Daily J0:30AM-2PM, 5:30-lOPM. Dim sum: $2.85-$3.75 per plate.

Legend is Honolulu's gold standard for dim sum. Nearly every dish is textbook perfect in preparation and freshness. Look fun stuffed with scallops melt in the mouth and minifootballs of fried mochi stuffed with dried shrimp and pork are ir­resistibly crisp and sticky-soft.

P.F. Chang's 1288 Ala Moana Blvd. (596-4710). Sun-Thu llAM-llPM, Fri-Sat llAM­midnight. Entrees $10.95-$20.95. AmEx, Disc, DC, JCB. MC, V

The chicken lettuce cups are good, and the Mongolian beef tastes like tender teriyaki. Try the lemon pep­per shrimp, which cleanly show­cases its namesake flavors. Among the sweet, fruity cocktails the Asian pear mojito is a highlight. With consistently good service, this is a group-friendly place.

European Cafe Miro 3446 Wai'alae Ave. (734-2737). Tue­Sun 5:30-9PM. Chef's tasting menus: $32-$43. AmEx, Disc, MC, V.

Serving classic French food while sti 11 keeping things on the tradi­tional side. The menu reintroduces the classics like a bright, delicious vegetable terrine. And the creme brOlee is quite possibly the best on the island.

Chefs Table Hawai'i Kai Towne Center, 366 Ke­ahola St (394-2433). Tue-Sun ll:30AM· 2PM, 5:30-9PM. Appetizers: $6-$9. Entrees: $16.50-$22. MC, V.

Mitteleuropaische flavors are to be had in the form of the obligatory spatzle, red cabbage, wiener schnit-zel and paprika-red goulash, along with a Swiss cheese fondu. The deli­cate superflaky apple strudel will knock your Jederhosen off.

Du Vin lll5 Bethel St (545-1115). Daily llAM-closing. Food: $4-$16. AmEx, DC, Disc, JCB, MC, V.

Sample vin, vino or wine from the expansive wine list to go with a cloudlike, supple brie baked in puff pastry, oysters Rockefeller or the chalkboard's daily specials. •

oEAN CARRtco

Classified Career Source ;.·,

Announcements Business Opportunities

General Employment

Restaurant / Bar

BUYER BEWARE Honolulu Weekly does not warrant the fitness

or merchantability of any

Movie Extras, Actors, Mod­els! Make $100-$300/day. No Experience Required, Meet celebrities, Full Time/ Part Time, All looks needed/ Call Now!1-800-556-6103 extension 528. (AAN CAN)

OUTDOOR YOUTH COUN- WAIT HELP and Dancers

Design & Production Interns Wanted

advertised good or service, or the reliability of any

advertiser. Readers are encouraged to make these determinations for them­selves. We would like all

of our classified readers to know that we try to screen our ads prior to publishing them. We read the ad copy for our advertisers to insure

MYSTERY SHOPPERS - Get paid to shop! Retail/Dining establishments need under­cover clients to judge qual­ity /customer service. Earn up to $150 a day. Call 800-901-9370. (AAN CAN)

SELOR. Do you love the out­doors and helping troubled teens? Immediate openings at Eckerd outdoor therapeu­tic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL, VT, NH and RI. Year-round residential position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info and ap­ply online: www.eckerdyouth. org. Or fax resume to Career Advisor/AN, 727-442-5911. EOE/DFWP (AAN CAN)

wanted make $$$ Daily. Hourly+ Commissions and benefits. Also hiring Bar­tenders and Doorman Call Mike at 847-2266

It's A Beautiful Day Kafe in Manoa Looking for a part­time barista to work after­noons from 12n to 6:30pm. Experience is not necessary, but a little coffee knowledge would be helpful. For more

Honolulu Weekly Production Department

is seeking Interns. Build your resume,

get school credit, gain valuable

work experience, and get your

foot in the door. Flexible hours.

it's acwracy. We cannot, however guarantee the

reliability of our advertis­ers. Advertisements that have been placed by the Association of Alternative

Newsweeklies are indicated

General Employment

TEACH AND TRAVEL! Teach information or to apply, visit English in Europe and Asia, the cafe at 27 40 E. Manoa Online prep. course at Road next to Boston Pizza home, the 4-wk across from Aveda Spa &

Send your resume to

[email protected]

Sales / Marketing COOL TRAVEL JOB!! One Month Paid Training! $500 sign on Bonus Must be free to travel & Start Today. 1-800-735-7 409 (AAN CAN)

training abroad & guaran- _sa_lo_n_. ______ _ teed JOB! Info. (314) 732- BARTENDERS NEEDED:

with the acronym, "AAN CAN" www.aan.org

0316 or www.Boland-China. Looking for part/full time com or www.Boland-Czech. bartenders. several posi­

SALES POSITIONS AVAILABLE AT

HOW ARE YOU MANAGING YOUR CAREER?

com (AAN CAN)

Healthcare tions available. No experi­ence required. With hourly wages and tips make up to WeeklyMarketplace.com

SERIOUSLY!

Busin·ess Opportunities

DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS NEEDED! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly Working From Home! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Necessary! Positions Avail­able Today! Register Online Now! www.BigPayWork.com (AAN CAN)

$300 per shift. Call (800) Healing Arts & Prosperity 806-0082 ext. 200. (AAN Nurse to self-made million- CAN)

HONOLULU

Weekly a,re.1-800-541-5892 iseek- --------­growth.com

$700,-$800,000 FREE CASH GRANTS/PROGRAMS-2007! Personal bills, School, Busi­ness/ Housing. Approx. $49 billion unclaimed 2006! Almost Everyone Qualifies! Live Operators 1-800-592-0362 Ext. 235. (AAN CAN)

HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly Processing Company Re­funds Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! www.RebateWork.com (AAN CAN)

GOVERNMENT JOBS Earn $12 to $48/Hour Full Ben­efits, Paid Training. Home­land Security, Law Enforce­ment, Accounting/Finance, Clerical, Administrative, Wildlife/Park Service, More! 1-800-320-9353 x2001. (AAN CAN)

Nude Models Wanted

PHOTOGRAPHY MODELS WANTED!

$100/hr. Requires tasteful nudity - NO PORN! Females 18-25. Please call 623-4574.

Need a new hire? Find them Free and easy at Weekly Marketplace.com

MAKE $150/HOUR Get Paid Cash for Your Opinion! Earn $5 to $75 to fill out simple surveys online. Start NOWI www.paidchoice.com (AAN CAN)

WE'VE GOT MONEY

WE'VE GOT JOBS!

We've got everything

you're looking for

and more

here and online at WeeklyMarketplace.com

EARTH TAL~ Questions & Answers About Our Environment

Dear EarthTalk: Is it true that traditional mattresses and bed-ding can cause environmental and health problems, and if so, what alternatives are out there?-Jay & Aubrey Gillespie, via e-mail

With all we know today about

synthetic chemicals and their effects on our health, going green in the bed-

room-where we spend a third of our

lives-makes more sense than ever.

Traditional mattresses and bedding

contain a slew of potentially harm-fut chemicals that can "off-gas" from

fabrics, padding and framing and get

inhaled or ingested. One of the most

harmful is formaldehyde, which is used

in many adhesives and can cause eye and throat irritation, headaches and

nervous system disorders. And card-

nogenic flame-retardants known as

PBDEs, many of which are now banned

in Europe and sonie U.S. states, still

turn up in some sleep products. Most

people fare just fine on their mattress-

es despite proximity to such offensive

substances, but those with sensitivities

to synthetic chemicals might want

to consider greener bedding options.

Luckily, there are many varieties to choose from.

Some very affordable green mat-

tress options are available from manufacturers like Lifekind, Cozypure,

Vivetique/Dreamlite, Royal-Pedic,

Greensleep/Vimala, EcoChoices and Keetsa. Most of these companies make

mattresses with natural latex cores, wrapped in naturally flame-retardant

cotton and/or wool. Online retailer Gaiam carries some of these brands,

and Ikea also now offers PB DE-free

Retail

EXPERIENCED SALESPERSON NEEDED

Full or Part Time position available. Apply in person at Brazilian Show Room, 3588 Waialae Ave.

CLASSIFIEDS ACCOUNT EXECUTM

Got something to say? Place your ad here or online at WeeklyMarketplace.com

We work hard, we laugh a lot andwe like what we do. We're looking for someone with sales

experience & good interpersonal skills 'cause you're gonna need 'em! You need to be computer literate, have adequate typing skills and a phone

voice like butter. We offer a base salary plus com-missionsand health benefits (red vines & peanut M&Ms are an added bonus) Send resume with

cover letter & 3 references to Lei Ana at [email protected]

DISPLAY ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE We have an exceptional team of professionals who work hard and enjoy what they do. We're looking for someone with a passion for our product and

who can sell with integrity. You should be able to multi-task, prioritize and work with deadlines ...

'cause you're gonna need to do it all! Sales experi-ence and familiarity with the alternative pressis

definitely a plus, but we'll train the right person for the job. We offer a base salary plus commissions, a generous vacation policy and a health insurance plan that includes drug, dental and vision. Send

resume and cover letter with 3 references to [email protected]

mattresses that just about anyone can down in organic cotton duvets pro-

afford. Also, many independent green vides a viable green alternative as stores are sprouting up in communities well. Online retailer Greenandmore.

around the country and are probably com has a wide selection of environ-

the first place to look in the interest mentally friendly and hypoallergenic

of supporting local merchants and down comforters, as do many local minimizing the need to ship products green stores.

long distance. Locally, Macy's house brand, Charter

As for bedding, environmentalists' Club, offers all natural, undyed and

main bugaboo is the use of traditional untreated 400-thread-count all-cotton

cotton, which requires huge fertil- damask sheets for $60-$150, depending

izer and pesticide inputs to grow and on the size of your bed. (lf you're won-

causes pollution during the industrial dering about the color, they come in

bleaching process. But with consumer light beige and light beige.) Good luck

demand for greener products through finding all-natural pillowcases, blankets

the roof, organic unbleached cotton or pillows, though. The Charter Club

is becoming more widely available. label does have hypoallergenic "Eco-

Some leading organic cotton bedding Down" filled comforters, but the white

labels to look for include Cozypure, all-cotton covers for both are probably

Lifekind, Holy Lamb Organics, Mary bleached. Ralph Lauren advertises "all

Jane's Farm, The Green Robin, Jan natural cotton blankets," but they've

Eleni, Kushtush Organics, Native Or- clearly been dyed. ganic, Northern Naturals and Under Once you've banned synthetics and

the Canopy, among many others. chemicals from the bedroom, no doubt

Most environmentalists embrace wool you and your whole family will rest a

blankets for their warmth and breath- little bit easier. ability, although sustainably harvested

GOT AN ENVIRONMENTAL QUESTION? Send it to: Earth Talk, c/o E/The Environmental Magazine, P.O. Box 5098, Westport, CT 06881; submit it at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/thisweek/, or e-mail: [email protected]. Read past columns at: www.emagazine.com/earthtalk/archives.php.

Classified Index Phone: 808·534·7024

Fax: 808·528·3144 [email protected]

Online at WeeklyMarketplace.com

Career Source Adult Music Connection Transportation Real Estate Services Marketplace Personals Mimi Body Spirit Back Page

page 31 page 32 page 32 page 32 page 33 page 33 page 33 page 33 page 34 page 36

Ad Deadlines Line Advertising: Copy, space reservations and payment must be submitted before Monday, 10 am.

Display Advertising: Copy, space reserva­tions, art and payment must be submitted by 12 pm on the Thursday prior to publication. Call for rates.

Placing an Ad By Phone: Call the Classified Department at

(808) 534-7024 Monday through Friday

from 8:30 am to 5 pm.

By Fax: Fax your ad 24 hours a day to the

Classified Department at (808) 528-3144.

By Mail: Mail your ad to Honolulu Weekly

Classifieds, 1111 Fort Street Mall,

Honolulu, HI 96813.

By E-Mail: Email your ad copy to

[email protected].

In Person: Visit our offices

Monday through Friday 9:00 am to 5 pm at

1111 Fort Street Mall,

Honolulu, HI 96813.

The 'Fine' Print Prepayment required for all classified ads. Discounts available on extended advertising commitments. No refunds. Credit limited to reprinting one insertion. We reserve the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad.

Classified Line Ads • Private Party $27.50

(ads run for 4 weeks-25 words)

Commercial advertising per week: • Real Estate $1.65/word

(Shared Rentals, Vacation Rentals, Homes for Sale)

• Employment $1.65/word (Business Opportunities, Help Wanted, Work from

Home)

• Mind, Body, & Spirit $1.10/word (Health & Fitness, Massage, Spiritual, Alternative

Healing)

• Service Directory $1.10/word • Music Instruction $1.10/word

25 word minimum. Rates are per insertion.

Frequency Discounts The following frequency discounts for commercial

advertisers are available with consecutive week schedules:

4 weeks 10%

13 weeks 15% 26 weeks 20% 52 weeks 25%

Headlines & Enhancements •Two words may be in caps and bold: $2 extra for each additional balded or capitalized word over two.

•Centering - extra $5 per line

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29. 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 23

•

l l . .. 1

IUUSTRATION: SLUG SIGNORINO

ope ByCecllAdams

more than ten times as much car­bonyl sulfide as one taken in down­town Philly; hell, an average fart packs 18,000 times the hydrogen sulfide found in an equivalent quan­tity of city air. Unless our ancestors were a lot better at holding it in than we are, I'd bet that silver tarnish isn't much more of a scourge now than it was a few centuries back.

I recently read a Popular Sci­ence article by some geek who set out to manufacture silver bullets. He noted in the· course of the piece that prior

to the Industrial Revolution silver didn't tarnish because of the lack of sulfur in the air. I'm very skeptical of this, however, because volcanoes belch forth much sulfur into the at­mosphere. What's the deal? -Na­than Hobbs

I s it true that the vast majority of silver tarnish is the result of hydrogen sulfide air pollu­tion from power plants and industrial activity? I've read

that in the preindustrial era silver tarnished much more slowly be­cause of the lower level of these pollutants. What's the straight dope? -Aaron Muderick, Phila­delphia

A the prevailing wis­

dom is that humankind no longer cares about anything but reality TV nd Grand Theft Auto,

it's touching to find there's still a demand among the Teeming Mil­lions for info on topics like this one.

I can't say I completely understand the fascination here, but who am I to argue? Let's talk tarnish. . First, though, Nathan: "Some

geek"? A little respect, please. Any­one who can, as Popular Science's Theodore Gray apparently did, fab­ricate a custom bullet-shaped router bit and use it to create a high-heat­resistant graphite mold suitable for casting ammo out of 99.9 percent pure silver has attained a level of near superhuman geekery that the rest of us can only mutely admire.

That said, I'm not buying Gray's claim that "by and large" silver "didn't tarnish before the Industrial Age." The idea, seemingly, is that since airborne sulfur compounds are what react with silver to create the characteristic blackish patina of silver sulfide, tarnish wouldn't have been an issue until humanity started burning mass quantities of coal, consequently pumping the at­mosphere full of sulfur. But that's likely overstating the case. While coal-burning power plants are re­sponsible for producing most of the sulfur dioxide out there (and thus acid rain), they don't contribute that much of the compounds that actu­ally cause silver to tarnish, namely

hydrogen sulfide-best known as a key player in the smell of rotten eggs and flatulence-and the similarly pungent carbonyl sulfide. About 90 percent of the hydrogen sulfide and more than two-thirds of the carbon­yl sulfide in our atmosphere come from (you guessed it) volcanoes, salt marshland, undersea vents, and oth­er natural sources. The remainder results from human activity-not so much the farting as the refining of petroleum and natural gas, the man­ufacturing of paper and chemicals, and the processing of sewage.

It's not like Gray's entirely off base: industrial pollution has in­creased atmospheric sulfur con­siderably. Although there was no EPA to monitor 19th century fac­tory emissions, we can analyze air trapped in polar ice caps to gauge

the extent of past pollution. Carbon­yl sulfide concentration has gone way up in the past 150 years-lev­els in the southern hemisphere are about 40 percent higher now than circa 1850. And though hydrogen sulfide is more difficult to measure, since it reacts fairly quickly with various substances in the environ­ment, records of other anthropo­genic sulfur levels show a serious upward trend since the mid-1800s as well.

But again, given that nature emits more sulfide than man-made sourc­es even today, such increases may not have had much impact tarnish­wise. Sure, silver flatware stored on-site at a chemical plant might get dirty in a hurry, but think about it: according to the EPA, an air sample taken on the open sea can contain

If you think keeping the tea set shiny is a bitch, con.sider the Perm­ian extinction of 251 million years ago. You remember-the cataclys­mic event where maybe 95 percent of all species on earth died off? (We discussed it last summer when the topic was undersea methane re­serves.) One of the various theories about its origin is that a huge up­surge of hydrogen sulfide, produced by anaerobic microbes in the ocean, had a deadly two-pronged effect: the gas (a) asphyxiated animals and plants and (b) weakened the ozone layer, allowing high levels of UV radiation to play havoc with the food chain. What do scientists think caused these anaerobic critters to kick into high gear? Get this-ape­riod of global warming. So besides getting ready for rising sea levels and catastrophic weather, it appears we should also be prepared for the silver to tarnish like crazy. •

Comments, questions? Take it up with Cecil on the Straight Dope Message Board, straightdope.com, or write him at the Chicago Read­er, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611. Cecil's most recent compendium of knowledge, Triumph of the Straight Dope, is available at bookstores everywhere.

Transportation Music Connection

HAVE A CAR TO SELL? Honolulu Advertiser $262.55 for 30 days. Honolulu Star-Bulletin $91.95 for 30 days.

Honolulu Weekly $27.50 for 4 wks of ads Why pay more? 534-7024

Gav. B-:, I. Record & Listen to personal ads

[]J][][]Q 521-6696fflf 18+ OngiaC.mmunROhom, Inc. 181ll).4,15-:l'.l02

Adult WE'VE GOT MONEY WE'VE GOT JOBS!

We've got everything

you're looking for

and more

24 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

For All your " Valentine Needs

Adult DVDs Adult Toys

Live Phone Chat

1-800 943-3080 Adulttoymart.com

LP CD DVD MP3 VINYL AVENGER SEEKS YOUR OLD RECORDS ... Am currently paying $$$ for Blues, Jazz, Rock, Pop, Surf, Garage, Psych, & Hawaiian - Please call 351-4398. Also buying 8 tracks, reel to reels & au­dio equipment.

Musicians & Bands Wanted

Auditioning lead guitarist Variety cover band audi­tioning for lead guitarist - Call 455-3109 or 754-1121. Gigs comming up.

MANAGER SEEKING Expe­rienced, keyboard players, Lead guitarists, singers, Bass Players, Drummers and Sound man who are looking for a band they can call home. Variety & original songs for part time gigs. Call 341-5406 or 622-5544 for info. & audition. www.hawaiipega­sis.com

Wanted FEMALE SINGERS for disco/classic rock/ R & B/Top 40's from the ?O's, 80's, today's music and Filipino classics. Non­professionals okay. Call Johnny 941-4306/383-3000 asap.

ROCK STAR WANTED Tired of air guitar and sing­ing to an audience of none? Well, tease your hair, Tight Pants! You're gonna advertise your talent here and online at WeeklyMarketplace.com

TSK TSK TSKI

Looking for a little fun?

Stop looking and

Get your groove on

WeeklyMarketplace.com

622-8000 hawaiimusicsupply .com

* FIND YOUR BAND HERE * $24 for 4 weeks

Mail your your text of 25 words or less and check or money order to:

Honolulu Weekly Attn: Classifieds

1111 Fort Street Mall Honolulu, HI 96813

Text and payment must be recieved by Monday 10 am for the following Wednesday.

Please include your name, mailing address and phone number just in case.

If your ad is over 25 words we reserve the right to edit the ad to meet requirements.

... --------,-------------------------~---

-n E D M E AT ... from the secret files of K mordant musk of the misbegotten MQ)(' cannon

Real Estate For Rent Shared Rentals

HAWAII KAI Fully furnished NORTH SHORE Swinger room with cable, pool ac- couple will share beach cess, parking, near bus stop house with swinger couple & shopping. Prefer quiet or liberal female. Possible female student or profes- trade Rent for House and sional. $725/ mo includes yard work. Herb smoker OK. utilities. 286-5187. "'29-'--3-'-5-'--1-'--7-"8 _____ _

Seavice Directory Adoption Clubs Instruction Moving

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING EDEN GROUP Alternative Chinese Immersion School

ADOPTION? Talk with car- lifestyle events and activi- Intro to Mandarin Class with ing agency specializing in ties for couples. Registra- advancement option into matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby's One True Gift Adop­

Quick Move

... - . tion open now for Summer unique long-term progres­

Couples Retreat. Swingers/ sive programme. All ages.

Polys/ Naturist/ Fetishist East Honolulu. Spring Break

Resldentlal • Office Large or Small

Free Use of 7 Boxes 422-9999 tions 1-866-413-6293 (AAN welcome

CAN)

Cleaning

CLEAN WINDOWS SINCE 1977

Ron Albert,

Owner

599-8779

""'JtNrt ,..;~ Clean Quality Home Care Services

Weekly or Special Occasion Cleaning Services

Please Call Ben and Russell

WWW.EDEN808.COM

808-861·0170

Computer/ Internet

GeekOAid "First-Aid for Your Computer."

VIRUS & SPYWARE REMOVAL First Time

Caller Special

Get I 0% off all services Homes and Businesses

Get rid of your Viruses and Pop Ups Now!

WE COME TO YOU Call for Details

372-7240 MOVIN' OUT

not looking forward to the back-breaking move.

hire a licensed professional to do it for your you.

WeeklyMarketplace.com

8-Day Chinese Language

and Culture Immersion

ProgrammeMar20-28. Email:

info@hawaiichineseschool .org

CNA TRAINING INTL. (C.T.1)

STATE CERTIFIED www.cnatrainingintl.com

WAHIAHWA AIEA Days Nights

On2oing enrollmenl and classes

for 2008 Ongoing CNA Re-Certification

282-6469/218-4634

T 398-6019 ~ 455-2392 -,--

Financial

$$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for Structured Settlements., Annuities, Lawsuits, Inheri­tances, Mortgage Notes & Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth #1 1-800-794-7310. (AAN CAN)

NEW CREDIT PROFILE. In

We Haul-Super Movel

7 Days • Gall George 735-4697 or 227-9340

Professional

Architectural Drafting Residential/ Commercial Projects • Design • Draft­ing for Building Permit • Per­mitting Services Engineer's Stamp • 10+ years experi­ence • Free estimate 808-852-8158

The Clutter Counselor Pro­fesional Organizing Servic­es. Serving Oahu with over 10 years experience. Email [email protected] or call 808.261.1334 (eve­nings) or 504.460.9798 (cell). Local references available.

' Property Maintenance

foreclosure? Have bad HANDYMAN WANTED for credit? Get your new credit Honolulu Weekly office profile today. 100% legal. maintenance. We are look­Certain restrictions apply. ing for a handyman willing to Single $999.95. Couple trade work for advertising in $1,499.95. 951-848--0032; our paper. Call Rachel, 528-

909-728-9844. (AAN CAN) "'14-'-7'-4'-e'-'-xt=·..c:1:..:.0.:.... ----

Marketplace Antiques & Collectibles

WE PAY CASH

FOR OLD COINS & PAPER MONEY

531·6251 Hawaiian Island Stamp & Coin

1111 Bishop St., Downtown

Pawn

FAMILY PAWN SHOP & PAYDAY LOANS

WAIPAHU 676-8800

Cell Phones Fashion & Accessories

CELLULAR PHONE UNLOCK­ING for foreign SIMs, just $35! Call Yoda @ Gadget Watch Overhaul, Repairs, Guys, 226-2929 Batteries. DOWNTOWN -

Pets, Animals & Supplies

While you work! Rolex, Cart­ier, Piaget, Movado, Omega & more. Estate Jewelry Avail­able. We warranty our ser-vice. Battery Reseal Same

PUPPY Adorable Chihua- Day Service. EVELYN's COL­

hua(Toy Fox Terrier puppy LECTION at 733 Bishop St. for sale. 12 wks old. Comes #190, 538-7400 with crate and other acces­sories. $350. Please call 230-1758 or 216-8896.

Need money for school?

Thinking about consolidating

your loans?

find the solutions to your

financial problems at

WeeklyMarketplace.com

Unique Street & Club Fashion Upper Playground, Sam Flores 12Grain, Methods NYC, 50/24 SF, Exact Science, Imaginary Foundation. URBAN JUNGLE, 2301 Kuhio Ave. #214, Waikiki Town Center, 808-926-1819. www.myspace. com/ urbanjunglehawaii

women seeRing men SHEER, ACME, BOND "Sheer Acme Bond"? It means "transcendent, complete con­nection. " When who we become couldn't be without what we've done for each other, you'll live the meaning of the Sheer Acme Bond. SheerAcmeBond, 19, #101403

INDEPENDENT, FUNLOVING, SPONTANEOUS Looking for no baggage friend who also loves.travel, movies, music, books.animals and people watching. Looking to share some experiences, talk story, find new adventures, possibly fall in love. smallklne, 49, #101374

SIMPLE .• SEXY ... SENSUAL .. I am a very simple sexy lady .... I am looking for a sweet open mind­ed guy who can be my best friend and accept me as I am. xclusiv­anne1234, 43, #101361

DANCINGHEART Playful , intelligent, conscious , cre­ative, spiritual & sensual woman seeks aware partner who loves to dance, loves what he does, laughs easily, is generous of heart and spirit, and spiritually con­nected. dancingheart, 60, 'D', <a>, #101309

ARE YOU EUROPEAN? An open-minded, mature&silly, positive, independent, spiritual, international wahine .... finally settled here in Hawaii. Looking for a a siily man who can make me laugh, plus sensual&romantic will do the trick. Wahine8, 43, <a> , #101226

FAITHFUL/HOUGHTFUL/ FUN-LOVING Are you seeking a classy lady for a friend? A loyal life-partner to cre­ate a warm/loving/happy home? Do you believe in treating her as a queen so you'd be king?! shllwe­dance, 60, #101078

LOOKIN' TO PLEASE I'm a sweetie pie, a domestic woman who happens to be heav­ily into BDSM. I'm looking for a k,nd, loving DOM who knows how to respect AND control a woman. bullt2serve, 30, <a>, #101018

LET'S GOI I work too much and I need to get out more. Buy me drinky? ;). mama,36, <a>,#101013

women seeRing women FEMININE AND SWEET I'm just a regular, sweet lady, looking for the same. No butch, no men, I like prettiness and feminin­ity ..... softness and curves , long hair and make-up ... . mmmmm ... serioustaco, 32, <a> , #101314

men seeRing women WEALTHY BACHELOR Exciting, handsome, ocean dwell­ing, fit and generous! seeks shape· ly, fun, open minded, 25-40. Must be attractive, romantic. Sky's the Limit! Call Rex 228-9018

HAWAIIAN MIWONAIRE Wants thin, small, petite Asian lady in her 40's to share my oceanfront condo, happiness and financial se­curity. Call Sam 926-4898

GREAT AND SMALL. I'm making a mental list of attri­butes I'd like in a relationship and working to develope them. This seems to be an illusion, but why else would we have souls? diago­nals , 65, #101417

KIND, COMPASSIONATE, FUNNY Hello. I'm Jim, a slender haole boy. I play guitar, create music, read a lot, and seek a girly type for cuddle time. Beyond that, is your choice. mellowtune, 53, 'D', <a> , #101394

HOT HORNEY SEXY' . hi iam looking for hot chicks that love sex iam good lookinh hot and always homey white boy who really knows how to treat a LADY are you a lady. tny_mele, 28, 'D', #101387

FOX HUNTING PREY! I am humorous, out-going, affec­tionate, passionate, caring, attractive, and open-minded. I love giving and receiving full body massages. I enjoy pleasing, play­fully teasing, and kissing beautiful and sexy women. Joefox, 35, <a>, #101382

ALOHA, LADIES Hi, I'm lookng for a woman that would like a casuiill relationship. Dinner, the beach, a hike, a club, music. If we click, we can work on an intimate relationship. Tlgerman, 49, #101380

BROWSI these ads and more online forPIIII.

THI• ICON ® indicates that a photo is posted online.

INnR your own profile for PRII

THI• ICON 1r indicates that there is a voice message you can listen to.

With a membenhip, you can listen and respond to as many voice messages as your heart desires. There are no 900 #s or per minute fees. Regular long distance charges may apply.

I'

DOWN TO EARTH, Open minded, sweet, careing, considerate, funny, looking to have fun and laugh .... .. Enjoy life ... mathewalan999, 45, <a>, #101379

INIOXICATING BEDROOM EYES Sophisticated, Secure, Some say sexy, but down to earth. Ready to find my queen and hold her up on that pedistal; built on romance, passion, excitement and love. RU ready? lcanseewhy, 38, 'D' , <a> , #101373

CHOCOLATE DELIGHT Sexy athletic man, 26, new to the island. Looking for an older woman to spoil me and show me around the island. I enjoy nights in nights out.and good company. thekid23, 26, <a>, #101362

A RENAISSANCE MAN I'm a compassionate, intelligent, creative person who places great value on good communications and intimacy. I enjoy exploring new places and ideas. I rarely get angry or upset. g3po2, 57, <a>, #101069 SEEKING SEXY FEMALES I'm a single local male looking for single sexy, local females for a long-term relationship and hav­ing fun. Well, if you're interested you can leave me a message. Hawke30, 32, 'D' , #101063

men seeRing men SPUSH SPLASH If I can't type-in my home tele­phone number and address, what good is this? :). wrigley, 26, <a>, #101392

iust friends SEEKING FRIENDS 25 year old woman seeking friendship -someone to tell me about him/her self, watch a movie, go bowling, eat someplace casual, make me laugh. tday, 25, #101414

FAST AND FOOD love to cook and eat but need to move at the speed of light*. popo00,45,#101385

DRAGGIN' KNEE. Lets see, I'm a little bit rock n roll, a little club/disco, but all about bangin the turns. Lets hang out and see where we can find some twisties. tdyber, 37, <a>, #101376

MEMBER.HIP RATE• TIKI TIKI TANCO 1 day ............... $5 7 day ............. $15 JOday ......... $25 90day ......... $45

VOICE RE•PONSE, 1-520-547-4557.

Each pass gives you all-acce1s, unlimited seorching, browsing, e-mailing, calling, and responding.

Antiques & Collectibles

NEW YEAR SALE

18K Hand Crafted

1.78ct Pink Sapphire

524-9058 Between Bethel & Fort St.

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 25

..

by Rob Brezsny

(March 21-April 19): ''Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year," said essayist Ralph Waldo Em­erson. That's my first suggestion for you this week, Aries. Now, while you're at the energetic peak of your astrological cycle, is a good time to cultivate a knack for identifying the specific gift that each day has to offer you. You will also res­onate well with the cosmic rhythms if you make use of another Emersonian gem: "Every great and commanding moment in the annals of the world is the triumph of some enthusiasm." Where does your purest enthusiasm lie? And how will you use it to fuel your ascent toa series of great and commanding moments?

rnu~u~ (April 20-May 20): "In the human heart new passions are forever being born," said French writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld. "The overthrow of one almost always means the rise of another." I suppose that's true. We all have longings that come and go as we evolve. But I'd also like to propose an equally valid and contradictory truth: In every human heart there are a few passions that last a lifetime. They're with us from the moment we're born, and nothing can dilute their inten­sity. Our destiny revolves around them. These are the passions I hope you will define with pre­cision and nurture with alacrity during the next eight weeks.

GiffilHI (May 21-June 20): If you have trouble resisting the urge to stay current with news about famous actresses, you may have a mental illness. A team of psycholo­gists has certified "Celebrity Worship Syn­drome" as an actual psychiatric condition. Now please listen to me closely: It is imperative that you stifle this malady during the next 25 days, even if you have a mild case of it. Your fantasy life needs to soar into unknown frontiers where more of the details of your own personal talents will be revealed, and you can't afford to be weighed down with fantasies about rich and charismatic people you don't know.

(June 21-July 22): "Dear Brother Rob: We wanted you to know that our exceedingly sweet, holy, and pious dog, Magdalene, told us tonight that she feels you are a direct descendant of Melchior, one of those famous Bethlehem astrologers/magi mentioned as bringing gifts to the baby Jesus way back when! That's so cool! Raucous peace to you! -Gabriel and Deana." Dear Gabriel and Deana: I'm honored! Give my thanks to Magda­lene. Does she have any messages for my Cance­rian readers? I've been having visions that they will soon be getting gifts from the past and rev­elations about their heritage and updates con­cerning their birthrights.

uo (July 23-Aug. 22): We all tend to project onto other people the un­attractive aspects of ourselves that we refuse to acknowledge. We're also drawn to anyone who expresses the fully activated versions of our own sleeping potentials. Everywhere we go, then, our vision is clouded by the disowned psychic material that is floating around our uncon­scious minds. That's the bad news, Leo. The good news is that in the next eight weeks you will have an enhanced ability to get access to the liabilities and powers that are buried be­neath the surface of your awareness. As a result, your ability to see the objective truth about the world around you should grow dramatically.

Vl~GO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): "The ermine is so fastidious that he will allow himself to be caught by hunters before he will take refuge in a muddy spot," wrote Leonardo da Vinci in his Bestiary. The legendary behav­ior of this small mammal has a resemblance to certain Virgos. Let's hope you're not one of

them. To avoid getting trapped in the coming days, you will have to be willing, even eager, to get dirty. Here's your motto: The miracle is in the mess.

(Sept. 23-0ct. 22): A friend recently said to me, "You really try hard to avoid conflict, don't you?" That sur­prised me. In my own perception of myself, I'm pretty combative, at least in the privacy of my own imagination. The injustice and suffering I see in the world make me mad, and I'm con­stantly plotting to overthrow the ignorant forces that are at the root of that bad stuff. It's true that I almost never express naked hostility or engage in outright combat with anyone. But that's because I think that the best way for me to fight the ugliness is to whip up lavish doses of beauty and truth and love. Sorry to be talking about myself so much, Libra, but it's in a good cause: I urge you to be like me in the coming week.

~CO~PIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I don't usually recommend that you text-mes­sage a cohort who's sitting a few feet away from you in a meeting, or use your cell phone to call the cell phone of the person you're lying next to in bed. But this would be a good week to do things like that. It's an excellent time, you see, to experiment with how you communicate, to try alternate methods of conversing, to awaken unfamiliar responses as you engage with famil­iar people. You might want to write a letter in longhand to a comrade you see all the time, or sit down at a table together and exchange mes­sages by drawing pictures rather than talking.

rnGnrn~1u~ (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In my astrological opinion, you should adopt a miscellaneous and serendipitous receptivity in the coming week; you should be extra respon­sive to the primal flux as its odd luck whisks you through in-between zones and fascinating grey areas. And yet I also think you should be· profoundly picky about which of the thousand and one stimuli you allow to grab your full at­tention. In other words, make your mind wide open and allow it to wander freely, but give your favors to only the most piquant twists and tasty bits.

c.AP~ICO~H (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): To advertise its upgraded features, the search engine Ask3D.com rolled out a marketing cam­paign with a seductive catchphrase: "Instant Getification," as in immediately acquiring your desired results. I'm borrowing that mantra, or at least half of it, for your horoscope. Your geti­fication levels will be way up in the coming weeks. That doesn't mean you will instanta­neously and automatically obtain everything you crave without any effort. Rather, it suggests that you will have an enhanced power to sum­mon the will and ingenuity and resourceful­ness that will help you get what you want.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You're entering an astrological phase when it makes sense to expand and dramatize your ego. In light of the poetic license that affords you, I'd like to introduce you to the concept of enlight­ened bragging. It will allow you to tout your own brilliance at the same time that you dis­arm anyone who might be tempted to sneer at you for doing so. The playfully self-mocking tone of your enlightened bragging will give you an opportunity to demonstrate your high opin­ion of yourself without feeling guilty or defen­sive. Here's all you need to do to get started: Make yourself a I-shirt or bumper sticker that reads, "I am aJenius."

PliCU (Feb. 19-March 20): Every now and then when the garbage I gener­ate in a week's time exceeds what one trashcan is able to hold, I have to make a special phone call to the office of the refuse and recycling ser­vice to request that they pick up an extra can. If I'm reading your astrological omens correctly, this is one of those times for you, at least from a metaphorical perspective: You need to get rid of more than your usual amount of useless junk and residual wastes-much more, probably, including a backlog of stuff you may not have even realized was garbage until now.

Go to Rea!Astrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny's EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

26 Honolulu Weekly • January 23-29, 2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com

Mind Body Spirit Announcements

NEW YEAR'S SPECIAL I www. H awai iHealthGuide. com A $450 Web Page Listing for $240! 4,500 visi­tors searching 35,000 page views DAILY! 30 million hits/ year! Call: 638-0888 info@ HawaiiHealthGuide.com

HOW ABOUT AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE?

Post your FREE classified ad on 1 Week/yMarketplace.com ~ Wee~sNT;W onlin~ Clll$sifleds

Counseling & Therapy I

PSYCHODYNAMIC THERAPY for individuals and

couples. Increase well-being

& creative problem-solving.

Insurance accepted. Linda

J. Carr, PhD. 735-2228.

LOOKING FOR MOTIVATION?

Yoga,or Meditation. Learn it

Cl.l HCRC To see if you qualify or for more information, please call

949-4977 or visit www.hawaiiclinicalresearch.com. Haw:iii Clinical Research Center

PROffSSIINAl MASSAGE CHAIR SERVICE

Promotlonl/Celebradoos #filBBUI

Downtown I Kalua Give 11HI sm or Relaxatlon

Mlndlul Touell llC MAT 7085

Licensed Massage

FULL BODY slow, deep rhythmic strokes over the muscles and con­tours of your entire body. You will enter the zone of deep relaxation. Mark 271-7236 (MAT #6539)

Pamper yourself Rnd a massage specialist

here or online WeeklyMarketplace.com

Full Body Massage All Styles including Hot Stone, Shiatsu, Swedish, Russian, Deep Tissue Waikiki Grand Hotel. 134 Kapahulu Ave. #216 Appl.Contact Riley, 699-5414 (MAT 9890)

Let's get physical! Metaphysical, that isl

Get Metaphysica I products from the

Metaphysical people. They're all here and online at

WeeklyMarketplace.com

MALE MASSAGE. Local male using deep warm strokes, premium oils, hot towels for face & body. Near Waikiki . $90 for 90 minutes. 782-7677. MAT 7955.

MASSAGE BY FERNANDO A Real Deep tissue lomi lomi massage. Rates starting at $70 for 90mins. Log on to www.massagebyfernando. com or call 479-1725. (MAT 7613).

MIND & BODY Therapeu­tic. $40 Swedish Early bird special 11am-2pm. Deep tissue, Thai massage. By King St. & Kaheka (Old Police station) 234-3722. (MAE 2274)

LOOKING FOR MOTIVATION? Whatever you're into,

whether it's Yoga, Capoeira, massage, or Meditation.

Learn it from here or online WeeklyMarketplace.com

If you have any information on this case, or would like to learn more about a Federal Tax Credit as a reward, go to www.energyhog.org.

fXCESSIVE ENERGY CONSUMPllON This Energy Hog was last seen lurking in homes without enough insulation and homes with older heating and air-conditioning systems. He's responsible for causing high energy bills in homes across the U.S. To protect your home, install a programmable thermostat to save as much as 10% a year on heating and cooling

bills. Adding insulation is the best protection from this fugitive.

ALLIANCE TO

SAVE ENERGY

Health & Fitness

ionCleanse is an invigorating treatment that eliminates harmful

toxins safely from your body. www.amajordifference.com

Alternative Health 1126 12th Ave, Suite 104

$30 for 30 minutes

732-7515

BEGINNER YOGA SERIES Four-week Intro to Ashtanga

series: Sundays, begins

February 3 at 4:30pm, $48.

Eight-week gentle yoga

series: Saturdays, begins

February 9 at 2pm, $88.

Yoga Hawaii. Preregister at

739-YOGA(9642) or

FREE YOGA CLASS Let one of our certified

instructors introduce you

to yoga. Fridays @ 5:45pm.

Yoga Hawaii, 1152 Koko

Head Ave . See our full

schedule@

www.yoga-hawaii.com;

739:YOGA 19642) GENTLE COLONICS En­hance whole body well-being by eliminating toxins quickly and easily. Gentle Gravity Method. Call Kate Butter­field, RN 523-7505.

Let's get physcal! Metaphysical, that is!

Get Metaphysical with all the other Metaphysical people. They're all here

WeeklyMarketplace.com

$65,846 Median income of Honolulu Week/yreaders

*SMS, Hawai'i Market Researcn Want them to spend it with you?

Honolulu Weeki Classifieds 534-7024

Products Wellness ,

$8 PRESCRIPTION EYE- PENIS ENLARGEMENT FDA GLASSES.Custom made Approved medical vacuum to your prescription , styl- pumps, Viagra, Testoster­ish plastic or metal frame, one, Cialis. Gain 1" - 3" per­Highindex, UV protection, manently. Free Brochures. antiscratch lens, case, lens- Se habla espanol. 619-294-cloth for only $8. Also avail- 7777 24/7, www.GetBigger­able: Rimless, Titanium, Today.com (AAN CAN) Children's, Bifocals, Progres-sives, Suntints, ARcoating, etc. ZENNIOPTICAL.COM (AAN CAN)

Seminars & Workshops

Ho'opono Pono Ke Ala -Hawaii's "Secret" Ancient Hawaiian Spiritual teachings rooted in the Aloha Spirit prior to 1299 AD for today's lifestyle, reconnecting to self greatness. Thursday eve., 7 - 9 pm, Na Mea Book­store, Ward Center, Jan. 24. Classes, Jan 27 to 29th; Sunday, Mon. Tues. eve. www.alohaspiritaunty.com Phone 965-0441

of Honolulu Weekly

readers have a college education.

*SMS, Hawai'i Market Research

Where are you spending your

advertising dollars? Honolulu Weekly

Classifieds

S34-7024

TESTIMONIAL At Marsha Nada/in Salon and Spa we needed hair models for an important educational ev.ent.

Weekly

We placed an ad in the Mind, Body, Spirit section of Honolulu Weekly and had one of our best turnouts. We got the models we needed and had a succesful event.

Mahalo!

Katie, General Manager

...

Q&A

~ ---------- - -----------------I, f I I I I I , • t II .

"You can't keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result."

Deepak Chopra

I I I I I I

MALIA LEINAU

21st Century Healing not going to be belligerent and are going to use the principles of Emotional Intelligence in our communication. We aren't going to bring religion or ideology into our discussions. And we are going to recognize that there is fear. Once we do this there will be room for dialog and there are economic incentives for peace.

Eastern wisdom, Western technology Interview by Peter Serafin

Deepak Chopra received his MD. degree in 1968 at All Institute of Medical Sciences in his native India, and received farther medical training at Harvard, Boston and Tufts medical schools. Today, Chopra is a pioneer in combining Western medical technology with Eastern healing spiritualty.

If health is not merely the absence of disease, than what is it1 Health is wholeness. It is the loss of the fear of death. It is also a complete integration of mind, body and spirit-the personal, social, spiritual and mental well being, and also the well being of our environment. The words health, holy and wholeness are the same word.

Another MD who is exploring the connections between traditional healing modalities and western allopathic medicine is Dr. Andrew Weill. In his recent book, Healthy Aging, he contends that human biological life cannot really be extended, but we do have control over the way that we live. Because in contemporary western society the inevitable biological decline may start in one's forties-then it's a gradual downturn where you develop chronic diseases and you eventually die of one of them. Dr. Weill says we can't put off the death of the physical body, but we can put off the decline and contin­ue to be healthy and vibrant much longer than is commonly thought. Then at the end oflife it's a fairly rapid degeneration and moving on to whatever is next. That seems to be in conflict to what you're teaching. By and large he's right. I'm saying that the biological markers of

no-nonsense skin care

• facials • waxing • body treatments • micro

dermabrasion • light therapy • body massage

261-0690

SPECIALIST

lwaaman --U,J;.1.:. wax

$50+

aging-such as blood pressure, bone density, body temperature regulation, blood sugar, fat content, hormone levels, aerobic capacity, cholesterol levels, muscle and so on-can actually be reversed by up to 15 years through a combination of exercise, meditation, changing the way we perceive our physical bodies, proper nutrition and other factors.

There are telomeres in our genes that have a maximum life of 120 years, but who knows what tomorrow will bring in the world of technology. Right now that seems to be the maximum life span.

Do you think human life can, or should, be extended? Only if it is in good health and you are making a contribution to society. In societies where elders are given more responsibility and looked up; where they have the wisdom of experience and good health at the same time. ls it a worthy goal to continue to extend the life span for it's own sake? I don't think so. If we conquered death, God forbid, we'd be doomed to living in eternal senility living in a mummified world. Death is the way Nature recreates herself.

You just got back from the Middle East - a place that is surrounded by death. How is your message received there, as opposed to a

relatively safe environment such as the States? What you said is not accurate. There are more deaths within the square mile of the White House than in Palestine. There is more violent crime in our inner cities.

Having said that, there is a new consciousness developing there. They are realizing that they cannot live in a stressed state where the Palestinians and the Israelis are going to be enemies forever. The new consciousness is slowly emerging that says are going to have to be compromises on both sides. The Arabs and the Israelis are close genetically-they're both Semites and are first cousins. There are economic incentives to really live in harmony. That kind of consciousness is emerging.

Just like in Northern and Southern Ireland. It took a while, but now there's peace. If you want a new crop you have to sow a new seed. You can't keep doing the same thing over and over again and

i3ool{Ends "When I get

a little money I buy books;

and if any is left I buy food and

clothes." , Erasmus Your Friendly

Neighborhood Bookstore

261-1996 Kailua Shopping Center

600 Kailua Rd #126 Kailua, HI 96734

expect a different result.

In your recent open letter to all the presidential candidates you call for a "global grassroots movement of positive redemptive change." What does that mean? It means that there is enough collective intelligence, creativity, caring and compassion to come up with creative solutions for poverty, conflict resolution, social justice and repairing the environment.

What if one of them gets elected and contacts you? What would you advise them to do about Iraq? To get the best experts who believe in a process called "conscious communication." You start by establishing certain rules of communication: That we speak to each other respectfully. That we understand there is room for forgiveness on both sides. We refrain from proving the other person wrong. We recognize that both sides feel injustice. We are

Right now there are economic incentives for war and the trading of weapons. We are one of the largest manufacturers and traders of weapons, and we give them to both sides of a conflict. Like India and Pakistan or the Arab countries and Israel. The President just returned from Saudi Arabia after signing a big deal to give them arms. So we have a war-based economy and my first suggestion is to start creating a peace-based economies and wisdom-based economies. Economic incentives are very powerful.

Here in Hawai'i we have an indig­enous culture which was almost wiped out. Only in the past few decades has it been coming back. Part of this includes a reverence for the kupuna, the elders. How can a traditionally-based society address the problems of the mod­ern world? I think creating councils of elders is a very good idea. When communities do that-respects the elders and asks them for advice­that improves the well being of a community for transformation.

Are M.D.s healers in the tradi­tional sense? No, they are superb technicians who know everything about the human body, but are lousy healers because they know nothing about the human soul or spirit. Gradually there is a science emerging that shows that healing is a phenomena that is biologically oriented. As this science moves forward I hope MDs will move from being mere technicians to becoming healers. a

Deepak Chopra will lecture at the Hawai'i Convention Center on Jan. 28. Info: (BOB) 875-4400 OT

deepakchopra.com.

www.honoluluweekly.com • January 23-29, 2008 • Honolulu Weekly 27

-HAWAII MARKETING GROUP Marketing Partner of VR Business Brokers.

Enhance Your Business with HawaiiMarketing.com

5 0 u

Custom made. TheBumperSticker.com

877 873-9626 Stick with Us!!

DO YOU HOOKAH?

$139

Hookah, Shisha & coals cheapest on Island

PIPEUNE SMOKESHOP above Magoo's 942-4700!

Tired of corporate coffee?? Drink Globa • Roast Loc:ally

Only at Kele's Coffee Visit us downtown in the Pioneer Plaza Lobby

900 Fort St. • 599-5353

Exclusive wines available onlfne.

Free delivery!

Fun group dining for singles! Explore Honolulu hotspots

For member info call 536-4229

Watch Overhaul, Repairs, Batteries

DOWNTOWN - While you work! Rolex, Cartier, Piaget, Movado, Omega & more

Custom Jewelry design & repair • Estate Jewelry

** Free Estimate ** We warranty our service.

Battery Reseal Same Day Service.

EVELYN's COLLECTION

733 Bishop St. #190 * 538-7400

Seeking_. HELP! Hawan Island Journal seeks help in classifieds.

Don't have the experience, but think you have

the talent?? We we are willing to traht the right

person for the job. Make calls from our office

in Honolulu to sell advertising in our Big Island

paper. We're looking for someone who works and

plays well with others. You need to be computer

literate, have adequate typing skills and a confi­

dent phone presence.

We offer a base salary plus commissions and

health benefits.

Send resume with cover letter & at least 3 refer­

ences to:

Lei Ana at [email protected]

E E 0 20 Stuart T. Ing, Bankruptcy Atty

b~nkruptcyhi.com 1330 Ala Moana Blvd 521-6600

Planned Parenthood of Hawaii Caring. ConfldentiaL Professional. Affordable.

589-1149 * www.pphi.org

Support Your Local Roaster Cilffee ·es, ed pre s

Only at Kele's Coffee Visit us downtown in the Pioneer Pwa Lobby

900 Fort St. • 599-5353

DU VIN • A l Day Lunch Service ~ your mid-day lunch? Bt'PSSerie Du Vin

Serving lunch Mon-Sat, 11:30 to 4:00

Menu includes fresh fish, salads, soups & more!

1115 Bethel St. (across from Hawaii Theatre)

MUSHROOM SPAWN Grow-on organic waste. " woodchips, paper, etc.

$5 a jar+ $5 shipping and handling. 358-0607

Best sych"cs in To n

Call 847-7478 or 927-9943 IntL Marketplace Waikiki

www.HunaWorkshops.com

BackPage ~ates

16 Point Bold

$34. 50 /Line/Week 12 Point Bold

$25. 75/Line/Week 8 Point Regular

$17 .25/Line/Week

Color

$10/Lii e1 eek Centering

$10/Line/Week

Italics

S 10/Line/Week

3 Line Minimum.

Call Honolulu Weekly Classifieds at 534-7024.

JOIN OUR GENKI SUSHI TEAM ••• Seeking Assistant Managers w/ 2 years experlenc Must have excellent customer service w/ strong leadership skills English/Japanese speaking a plus Email resume to [email protected]

Living In Darkness, a mystery by John Roynesdal Intrigue, brutality and prejudice entwined ••• Avail­able at Borders Honolulu now!

Sports Minded Successful entrepreneur seeks 3 highly motivated self starters, leaders, leader growers Call now for immediate interview 382-6976

New Years resolution #t FIND LOVE! Let us match you Call for Jan. specials 536-4229 partyofsixhawaii.com

Can't fin yo r Weekly" Check out KOKUA MARKET Its m the BRIGHT RED BO At the PARKING LOT ENTRANCE Convenient & easy, every week!

Good medicine for "bad" people HI o;sts C :i.s

Confidential TheMedicalComer.com 954-4500

e Affligem, Franziskanner, Grimburgen, Boddington's & More. • 120 TAPS!!! 1015 University Avenue Puck's Alley Across the Varsity Theatre

01,s, .uol so · s ,. hrift s ,p p .s Famous clothing brands, most items under $10! Plus CDs, DJ vinyl, collector records & more Stylus Honolulu, 3rd floor, University Square Call 951-4500 or visit www.stylushonolulu.com

Book Lovers: This is your year! Start your own online bookstore in 2008 www.BookWlseHawaii.com

Yo ade Your Resolution •• Train for a career you love! HEALD COLLEGE Ge in Get Out. Get a 1ead' Train in Healthcare- Business- Technology Be career ready in less than 2 years!!

D ... 0

d :ve a

ses

WWW.CHOOSEH EALD.COM ALL NOW!' 75-3959

TIii 111ea•11111 we1La by TOM TOMORROW IT'S Tll•IE ONCE AGAIN i'<>R VERY .SERIOUS PUNDrfS TO 01scu5,; T>IE ISSUE$!

J:'111 TM£ LIVIN6 E.MIIODIM£1ff' Off AN IIWORIIIEO 11.-CRAt't ... AND i:•111 WAffJW AWAY fOII I.AC!( Off SUSTE.NMICE. •••

PLWE. .. .JUST fOA A 11\0IIIE.NT' ... CAN'T 'fOU DISCUSS '!ME A£LATIVE. IIIE.Rir, Off TM£ CANDIDATE.S' HEAL1'N CARE PROl'OSALS ••• OIi '!MEIR ,O,m~ ON IIUQ ... ?

If HILLARY CLlltrO# BE.TRA'fS TME. SLl6tnf.5T MINT of MUIIIAN E.11\0flON·•WILL VOTERS '!MINK SHE. IS TOO HYSTERICAL Tl> BE PRESIIIENT?

ON TM£ 0TME.R IIAND-·WILL IND£• P£ND£NTS REALLY BE. WILLING Tl> VOTE fOR A 81.ACI( IIIAN WHOSE. NAIIIE. RH'flllE.S WITM "OSAMA"?

COIIIING UP NEXT: WILL 08AIIIA'S Bl& EARS MUllf 141111 WITM votERS? WE.'LL ~l(E. A VERY SERIOUS LOO# AT TME. ISSUE.!

3 NIGHTS/rono $345 SAN FRANCISCO .3 NIGHTS/rom $4 73 INCLUDES AIR & 3 DAY RENTAL CAR CALL 800-833-0652 INCLUDES TRANSFERS SYDNEY from $681

3 NIGHTS/rom $397 RENO/TAHOE 3 NIGHTS/rom $527 LOS ANGELES /rom $253 INCLUDES TRANSFERS TOKYO ... . .from $757

SAN DIEGO 3 NIGHTS/rom $4 72 LAS VEGAS 3 NIGHTS/rom $699 SAN FRANCISCO .from $269 AUCKLAND .. . . .frum $951 INCLUDES TRANSFERS INCLUDES TRANSFERS

~o stay, try Co! Hawaii's Low Fare Airline

INTERISLA I . Hilo

$39~NE-=\'"'---._:--: -..... • Seats ara limrtad and fares may oot be available oo all flights. Changes can be m..ie prior to scheduled departure fir a fee of $20 per person plus any appiioable difference

In airfare. Fares displayed cil not Include September 11th Secu1ty fees of up to $5 each~ and a Federal Segment Excise Tax of $3.40 per segment.A segment is defined as one takeoff and ooe landing. All taxes and fees must be paid at the time of purthase. All flights opera1ed by Mesa Airlines doing business as go! and Molwle,e Airlines domg bu~ness as go!Express. Fares are valid f(l( flights to or from Honolulu. One-~ fares are available ten months In advance of travel date. Olher restrlct!ons may app~. www iflygo.com 1-888- IFLYG02

28 Honolulu Veeiliv • Jonuary 23-29:2008 • www.honoluluweekly.com