Document

Participant’s Guide

Published by Standard Publishing, Cincinnati, Ohiowww.standardpub.com

Copyright © 2010 by Equipping Ministries International, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, except for brief quotations in reviews, without the written permission of the publisher.

Printed in: ChinaEditor: Dale ReevesCover design: Brand NavigationInterior design: Dina Sorn at Ahaa! Design

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (The Message) are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Trust Building DVD creditsProducers: Dave Ping, Craig Spinks, Sadell BradleyStandard Publishing contributors: Lindsay Black, Dale ReevesHosts: Joe Boyd, Elisa MorganContent specialists: Dave Ping, Dave Stone, Barbara Steffens, Anne Clippard, Jeff BakerVignettes written by Brad WiseOriginal music: Ric Hordinski

ISBN 978-0-7847-2409-5

15 14 13 12 11 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Introduction .................................................................xx

Breakout One ...............................................................xx

Nonverbal Trust Busters ..............................................xx

Nonverbal Trust Builders .............................................xx

Breakout Two ...............................................................xx

Verbal Trust Busters .....................................................xx

Verbal Trust Builders ...................................................xx

Breakout Three ............................................................xx

Behavioral Trust Busters ..............................................xx

Behavioral Trust Builders ............................................xx

Breakout Four ..............................................................xx

Spiritual Trust Building ................................................xx

Feeling Words Finder ...................................................xx

Contents

Why Trust Building? Trust leads to authentic connection.

Trust meets the longing of our hearts.

Trust helps us to be effective in all our relationships.

Trustworthiness is the goal of this small group experience.

Three Levels of Trust Nonverbal—what you

Verbal—what you and

Behavioral— and

Meet the CharactersJordyn Ed

Bill Eric

Ruth

As you watch the video vignettes, ask yourself, “Which of these char-

acters do I intuitively trust or mistrust, and why?”

“God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He com-

forts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When

they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort

God has given us.”

—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4

Introductionwith Dave Ping and Elisa Morgan

6 TRUST building

7TITLE

Large Group Discussion: Which of the characters do you intuitively trust and why?

Which of the characters do you intuitively distrust and why?

Why Is Trust So Hard?Concerning the first human relationship, Adam and Eve, Genesis 2:25

states, “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no

shame.” There was no shame, no fear, no lying, and no hiding—only

the fullness of relationship we were all created to experience with one

another and with God.

Galatians 5:22, 23 indicates that God intends our relationships to

produce the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

After Adam and Eve sinned, they tried to hide their nakedness from

one another and from God. Thoughts,

feelings, and motives that had been “out

in the open” were now guarded or hidden

even from themselves. It’s as if their hearts

were turned upside-down, with only the

“safe” issues showing above the surface.

Today this is how we naturally tend to

relate to others.

Open Area

Guarded Area

Hidden Area

Unknown Area

8

Breakout OneIntroduce Yourselves (fifteen minutes)

1. First name middle name last nameBirth order: ❏ Oldest ❏ 2nd ❏ 3rd ❏ 4th ❏ 5th ❏ 6th ❏ Other ❏ YoungestFavorite pastime Favorite book and movie Hopes or expectations

2. First name middle name last nameBirth order: ❏ Oldest ❏ 2nd ❏ 3rd ❏ 4th ❏ 5th ❏ 6th ❏ Other ❏ YoungestFavorite pastime Favorite book and movie Hopes or expectations

3. First name middle name last nameBirth order: ❏ Oldest ❏ 2nd ❏ 3rd ❏ 4th ❏ 5th ❏ 6th ❏ Other ❏ YoungestFavorite pastime Favorite book and movie Hopes or expectations

4. First name middle name last nameBirth order: ❏ Oldest ❏ 2nd ❏ 3rd ❏ 4th ❏ 5th ❏ 6th ❏ Other ❏ YoungestFavorite pastime Favorite book and movie Hopes or expectations

5. First name middle name last nameBirth order: ❏ Oldest ❏ 2nd ❏ 3rd ❏ 4th ❏ 5th ❏ 6th ❏ Other ❏ YoungestFavorite pastime Favorite book and movie Hopes or expectations

9

Nonverbal Trust Buildingwith Dr. Barb Steffens and Elisa Morgan

What You See Our perception of a person’s trustworthiness is the foundation on

which our relationship with them rests.

Some people only seem trustworthy until we see a little more into

their hearts. Proverbs 27:19 says, “As a face is reflected in water, so

the heart reflects the real person.”

We want to see into a person’s and into their .

There is no “magical checklist” we can follow to trust people or

make people trust us.

So much of trust building is – .

Though trust ebbs and flows in relationships, we can show our sin-

cerity by working at communicating caring.

Communicating Caring LoveWhen a verbal message is not consistent with voice tone or non-verbals, the listener gives more weight to the nonverbals than to the verbal message.

Congruent = your matches your

TITLE

55% Nonverbals 38% Tone of voice 7% Actual words

Source: Albert Mehrabian, UCLA