Document

Teddington Faces Axe: Cobham Next? A n e w Co l lege report threatens a radical

shake-up o f student sports prov is ion, and

ultimately suggests the sell-off o f t w o of

Imperial's three sports g rounds .

The report, based on a survey of sports

usage f rom September 1997 to D e c e m b e r

1998, r e c o m m e n d s that " the C o l l e g e

shou ld a i m to cater for the o u t d o o r sports

at on e locat ion" . This w o u l d a lmost cer-

tainly result in Harl ington b e c o m i n g h o m e

to all c lub sport, as it is the on l y g r o u n d

with the capacity to cater for all o f IC's

needs .

However , whilst gravel extraction c o n -

t inues at the H e a t h r o w site (wh i ch is

schedu led for at least the next six years),

addit ional space wil l b e requ i red . Thus, at

least o n e of the other g rounds wi l l earn a

short-term reprieve. The report notes that

a total prov is ion o f a r o u n d 90 acres is

require; at present, Harl ington provides 50

(a further 35 will be re leased w h e n quar-

rying is complete ) , C o b h a m adds a further

50 acres, whilst Tedd ing ton prov ides on ly

y

Pho to : Felix A r ch i ve

12.5. Consequent l y , it is w ide l y be l ieved

that Tedd ing ton (historically h o m e to St

Mary 's sport) has already been earmarked

for sale. Moreover , Teddington is undoubt-

IC Sport - h e a d i n g for Har l ington?

edly the most attractive v enue for prospec-

tive buyers, lying as it d o e s in the centre

of a large residential estate - w h i c h also

means that, unlike the other two grounds,

there is no potent ia l for further deve lop-

ment . Ihe on ly real point in its favour

w o u l d s e e m to be that it is the cheapest

g r o u n d to run, w i th a b u d g e l e d deficit o f

[42 000 this year ( compa red with [43 500

for Har l ington and [101 380 for Cobham) .

O n a br ighter no te , h o w e v e r , the

report a lso r e c o m m e n d s that the switch in

focus to a s ingle g r o u n d shou ld a l low "the

d e v e l o p m e n t o f a full range of h igh qual-

ity sports facilities", inc lud ing an improved

pavi l ion and a m u c h broader range of all-

wea the r and floodlit pitches.

I he report was due to be discussed at

last Fhursday's m e e t i n g of Co l l ege Athlet-

ics Commit tee , and a l though the ou t come

w a s not k n o w n as Iclix w e n t to press,

sen ior U n i o n sources sugges t that the

sale of Tedd ing ton is n o w a lmost certain.

"As far as Co l l ege is con ce rn ed , w e don't

n e e d Tedd ing ton - and they're obv ious ly

not g o i n g to ignore the massive a m o u n t

of m o n e y that the sale w o u l d generate...it

won ' t be l o n g be fo re C o b h a m goes too" .

" A student w h o fell f r o m the first f loor o f

the U n i o n into the foyer e s c a p e d w i th

just a b roken wrist. Ihe inc ident , w h i c h

occur red late in the e v e n i n g o f Friday 5

February, is the first o f its k ind for several

years, but has still ra ised Issues c o n c e r n -

ing s t e w a r d i n g p r o c e d u r e at U n i o n

events .

The acc iden t h a p p e n e d s o m e t i m e

a r o u n d 1.30am. w h e n U n i o n s tewards

w e r e a t t empt i ng to clear p e o p l e out o f

the upper r o o m s o f the U n i o n . The s tu-

dent , a first year u n d e r g r a d u a t e , w a s

reportedly a t t e m p t i n g to s l ide d o w n t h e

banister o f the stairs by the U n i o n D i n i n g

Hal l . A c c o r d i n g t o eye-w i tnesses , h e

rapidly lost his ba lance , a n d fell a p p r o x i -

mate ly 5m to the conc re t e f loor b e l o w ,

l and ing o n his right h a n d s ide . M i r a c u -

lously he did not hit the stairs or any other

ob jec t o n t h e w a y d o w n . S t e w a r d s

r esponded to the situat ion rapidly, ca l l ing

co l lege secur i ty a n d a n a m b u l a n c e . Para-

med i c s arr ived at a r o u n d 1.50am a n d

ly

Pho to : Ihe d a u n t i n g d r o p

ta s ke d for the event to b e c l osed , result-

ing in the U n i o n b e i n g e m p t i e d five min-

I u tes ear l ier than u s u a l . The i n j u r e d

I s t u d e n t w a s t aken to h o s p i t a l a n d

re leased a round three hours later, after

hav ing his wrist put in plaster.

M a r k H o m e , Ln l s a n d M a r k e t i n g

M a n a g e r , d e s c r i b e d the s t u d e n t as

" incredibly lucky... we ' r e g l ad it wasn ' t

m o r e ser ious" . H e a lso m e n t i o n e d that

the s tudent a p p e a r e d to be "under the

in f luence " o f a l coho l . Ihe acc iden t has

necessar i ly ra ised conce rn s over safety.

Ian Oil lett, Safety Director for the c o l -

lege, has b e e n in contact w i th the U n i o n

and has d iscussed whe the r further safety

precaut ions n e e d to be taken. He ag reed

w i th M r H o m e that "to e n d up w i th a bro-

ken wrist is ex t reme ly lucky". Ihe most

likely change is that a second steward will

be b rought up to the first f loor w h e n the

U n i o n D i n i n g Hall is b e i n g c l ea red in

order , as M r G i l l c t l put it, "to m o n i t o r

behav iou r on the staircase."

Inside.. • Comment - ay 5

LetteFS - Request for in fo

�Editorial & Valentines history 7

Columns - C o o k i n g 8

Valentines M e s s a g e s 12

Manifestoes -14 of them 14

Film - C o m p e t i t i o n 20

ArtS & b o o k rev iews 22

MUSiC - Defari a lbum review 24

ClubSCene - M a s s ��GameS - Natural Fawn Killers 28

SpOrt & D i ve rs ions 30 ��������� sim no prize 32

2 s 5

s

H o p e s to f u n d r e s e a r c h w i t h i n c o m e

f r o m p a t e n t s s e e m d o o m e d t o fa i l ,

according) t o t h e A m e r i c a n A s s o c i a t i o n

fo r t h e A d v a n c e m e n t o f S c i e n c e , as

r e p o r t e d in 'The T i m e s H i g h e r E d u c a -

t i on S u p p l e m e n t ' . D e s p i t e t h e t h r e e

t h o u s a n d l i c e n s i n g a g r e e m e n t s m a d e

b e t w e e n A m e r i c a n un ivers i t i es a n d t h e

pr ivate sec to r , t h e to ta l i n c o m e g e n -

e ra t ed a m m o u n t s t o o n l y t w o p e r c e n t

o f t h e un i v e r s i t i e s ' r e s e a r c h b u d g e t s .

T h e r e a re c u r r e n t l y s e v e r a l c o m -

p a n i e s w i t h i n Imper i a l C o l l e g e w h i c h

p r o m o t e t h e exp lo i t a t i on o f n e w break-

t h r o u g h s . I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e I n n o v a -

t i ons Ltd w a s c r e a t e d last yea r w i t h t h e

y

s p e c i f i c a i m o f c a p i t a l i s i n g o n cut t ing-

e d g e r e sea r ch a reas s u c h as b i o s e n s o r

c h i p s a n d ma te r i a l s c o a t i n g t e c h n o l -

og y .

H o w e v e r , t h e v i e w o f Lita N e l s e n ,

m a r k e t i n g d i r e c to r at t h e M a s s a c h u -

setts Inst i tute o f T e c h n o l o g y , is that

p a t e n t r e v e n u e is u n l i k e l y t o e v e r

b e c o m e a ma jo r s o u r c e o f r e s e a r c h

m o n e y .

E ven t h e b i g g e s t m o n e y - s p i n n i n g

b r e a k t h r o u g h s o n l y g e n e r a t e a t r ick le

o f f u n d i n g c o m p a r e d t o tha t f r o m

s o u r c e s s u c h as t h e H i g h e r E d u c a t i o n

F u n d i n g C o u n c i l .

A l t h o u g h Britain is l o o k i n g t o w a r d s

t h e U n i t e d S ta tes for i n s p i r a t i o n o n

indus t r y f u n d i n g , t h e s i t ua t i on t h e r e

has r e m a i n e d t h e s a m e for t h e past

th i r ty yea rs : s u p p o r t fo r bas i c r e s e a r c h

r ema ins at a b o u t s e v e n pe rcen t o f inst i-

tu t e s ' r e sea r ch b u d g e t .

A n o t h e r p r o b l e m is that p r e s s u r e

t o p a t e n t r e s e a r c h m a y b e h a v i n g

a d v e r s e e f f ec t s o n o t h e r ac t i v i t i es . M s

N e l s o n f ee l s that it is i m p o r t a n t that

un ive rs i t i es d o not m a k e c o m p r o m i s e s

in o rde r to p l e a s e pr i va te Investors -

s o m e t h i n g w h i c h s h e f e e l s MIT h a s

a v o i d e d .

5 h ' 1 1

Editor: Ed Sexton

, • • • : : • . • ' .

•' .News Ed i t o r : ; Andrew O f o r i

. . . . .

' .Hie'. :.(!!!,::' ! ; I ; / - ; : i |M : :

. JMl , : , i : ,. |l, !•.! ;| ..VvivVtihfi :,'|

Deli\f ry last issue And rew < (fori

fyImperial Co l lege n o w boasts the largest

number o f well-paid staff for a publ ic ly

funded British higher educat ion institute,

according to recent HEFCE accounts .

325 co l lege staff ea rned in excess of

£50, 000 last academic year and a further

22 staff ea rned m o r e than £100, 000. The

figures we re the country's h ighest in their

respective categories and spearheaded the

supremacy of London col leges in the salary

stakes. UCL placed s e c o n d wi th 277 staff

earning over £50,000 and 21 earning above

£100, 000. Comp le t i ng London 's s w e e p

was King's in third with 183 peop l e earn ing

over £50,000 and 6 br ing ing in over £100,

000 last year. The capital's cost o f l iving is

partly responsible for the top-flight salaries.

But many of the highly paid hai led f r om

medical schools and universities strongly

l inked with industry.

London's d o m i n a n c e has p laced pres-

sure on the Oxbr idge col leges, amongs t

others, to e n h a n c e their salaries: 115 and

121 staff ea rned over £50, 000 at Oxfo rd

and Cambr idge respectively.

The top job at London Business School

was the most lucrative vice-chancellor's

pos i t ion they pa id the three individuals

w h o filled the role a stagger ing £207, 000

pro rata. The LBS also had the country's

highest paid academic based at a publicly

f unded institute, w h o earned in excess o f

£220, 000. Vice-chancellors nation-wide

prospered last year receiving an average

pay rise of 4.8%, surpassing inflation. Impe-

rial's rector Sir Ronald Oxburgh placed 55th

in the country earning £111,000 in 1997-98.

The Assoc i a t i on o f University Teachers

w i shed to see the trend reflected through-

out University staff, with their assistant gen-

eral secretary c o m m e n t i n g : 'There is n o

doubt that vice-chancellors deserve every

penny , but a university's achievements-

d e p e n d on all its staff as m u c h as the indi-

vidual at the top.. .we don't begrudge vice-

chancellors their pay increase but yet again

they are paying themselves a far greater

increase than they do their staff. W e wait

to hear o f a vice-chancellor w h o refuses to

take a bigger pay rise than his staff. W e sus-

pect it will be a long wait."

IC comple ted its cop ious expenditure

o n staff with colossal redundancy pay-offs.

Four membe r s of staff earn ing over £50,

000 a year, received £338, 000 in c o m p e n -

sation for loss o f off ice.

In the wake o f the HEFCE figures, the

House O f C o m m o n s techno logy commi t-

tee heard a p lea f rom Sir Keith Peters to

double professors' salaries. Sir Peters, head

o f C a m b r i d g e University, sugges ted an

increasing the current professoriate salary

f rom around £41, 000 to £80, 000, in order

to make allowances for mov ing and setting

up h o m e . "Americans just laugh at us"

stated Sir Alec Broers, Cambridge vice-chan-

cellor as he spoke of h o w his university was

unable to attract researchers f rom industry

and abroad. The request will be subject to

a ballot o f a cademia later this m o n t h .

Rank U n i v e r s i t y V i c e- Chan e e l 1 o r , 1997-1998 % change on No. of s t a f f e a r n i n g

4 p r e v i o u s y e a r £50.000 + £100,000+

i ILBS J.Quelch/M.Earl/G.Bain 207,000 J u n a v a i l a b l e j 88 \ 15

• ��� � �� '•• :.>: ;::y':fii::.:' l l i i i i i i i i •<: i.

3 iUCL n7Robcrts •s T 277 21 . . . ' • !

• • i i i i i :.''\Ah:l <lx.

5 iLeeds Met L.Wagner ""DT;ooo i ^ ^ ^ l o r " " " j™ 6"

';,::;:;•.:: '•.'•.«•;•': ;•.•:•':>- #:V ASmWmt '•";

7 _._J _ L ,:<'!•' i n . . "13670oo 3.00% V" S f

5

' • ' ' • • ' ' ' . ' ' . ' . . ''::•'-: A-:'mx ::H£i?iiK ' •

" """"""" ^ 8 C r a n f l e l d "132*?0 00" 3 1 0 %

7 :Si::E:l ;•.:.•/,... ,i.v«, :'M1:;H /,/:0 •-'•) Afir : 7 S I 1 1 1 ' 'I'">..'''"

<,:•,/, M, ;i.r;,.-;i. : '.' A •[•'••-••::V:.';'x'''''' '-• - I.:

ojifx ;v:::

: . . ' -7 ; ' . . *:<<••>.. | • • • • i l l

:

s

e y

C a m p a i g n i n g has n o w star ted for the

ICU Sabbat i ca l e l e c t i o n s , w i t h f o u r t e e n

c a n d i d a t e s s t a n d i n g for t h e f ive posts .

Last w e e k s a w pos te r s a p p e a r i n g all

ove r c a m p u s as t h e c o n t e n d e r s b e g a n

t h e f ight for you r vo t e s .

N o f e w e r t h a n s e v e n p e o p l e are

s t a n d i n g for t h e e x a l t e d p o s i t i o n o f

Pres ident . T h e y are D e n n i s Pat r ickson

(Ma ths III), N a t a s h a N e w t o n ( M e d i c i n e

IV), Ben P o l o u n o v s k y ( C h e m Eng III),

A n d y Swift (ISE IV), Stuart C o o k (Mate-

rials III), S h a n K a t u w a l a (Mater ia l s III)

a n d R o b i n Pitt ( Ae ron au t i c s II).

Depu t y P res ident (F inance a n d Ser-

vices) has three cand ida tes : Bob Walker

(Physics III), Ian C l i f f o rd (Elec Eng IV)

a n d Paul H i c k m a n (Chemis t r y IV). Two

c a n d i d a t e s a re s t a n d i n g fo r D e p u t y

P r e s i d e n t (C lubs a n d Soc i e t i e s ) : T im

Trai lor (Phys ics III) a n d D u n c a n Field

( G e o l o g y III).

The n e w pos t o f D e p u t y Pres ident

( Educa t i on a n d We l fa re ) has on l y on e

cand ida t e , Kev in Butcher (B iochemis t ry

Pos tg rad III), as has that o f Felix Editor,

Dav id Rober t s (Phys ics III).

S t a n d i n g aga ins t all o f t h e s e is the

ever-present N e w Elect ion, co-ordinated

by i n c u m b e n t DP (F&S) Chr is Ince.

C a n d i d a t e s ' m a n i f e s t o e s are on

p a g e s 14 - 18. H u s t i n g s t ake p lace

t o n i g h t at S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n , t o m o r -

r o w at C h a r r i n g Cross , a n d W e d n e s d a y

at St Mary ' s . V o t i n g takes p l a ce next

M o n d a y a n d T u e s d a y in al l d e p a r t -

m e n t s .

Felix, Beit Quad , Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB Internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URL www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix E-mail: �������������

k

Printed at M C P Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16- 16a Baldwins Gardens, London E O N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper : ISSN 1040-0711

Felix is p roduced for and on behalf of Imperial Col lege Un ion Publication Board. Copyright © Felix 1999. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers.

5 s

InIC Applications Fall

Figures re leased by the Un ivers i t i es a n d

jCo l l eges A d m i s s i o n s Se rv i ce (UCAS )

s h o w that the p ropo r t i on o f school-leav-

ing app l i can ts for un ivers i ty p l a ces has

fa l len. The on l y g r o u p for w h i c h the re

was any increase at all - w i th a 0.4 %

increase in n u m b e r s that is m o r e t han

a c c o u n t e d for by the rise in actua l p o p -

ulat ion - is the under-21's f r o m the UK;

appl icants f r om every s ing le other g r o u p

have fa l l en in a b s o l u t e t e rms . The

biggest falls have b e e n in e n g i n e e r i n g

a n d the sc i ences - Civi l , Electrical a n d

Electronic Eng inee r ing app l i ca t ions have

d r o p p e d over 11 % ; Physics app l i c a t i ons

fell 10.3 % , a n d e ven 'sexy, t rendy ' B io l-

ogy has been hit, w i th appl icat ions fal l ing

3.4 % . Ihe b iggest d r o p - over 20 % - is

in C o m p u t e r Sc i ence a n d So f tware Eng i-

nee r i ng , w h i l e Bus iness a n d M a n a g e -

m e n t s t u d i e s is stil l by far t h e m o s t

popu la r subject .

Imper ia l C o l l e g e , part icu lar ly , has

b e e n hit w i th a n overa l l d e c r e a s e in

a p p l i c a t i o n s o f 4 . 8 % - w i t h a 1 9 . 3 %

decrease in overseas appl icat ions, doubt-

less prec ip i ta ted by the e c o n o m i c crisis

in the Far East.

Cash for Qualifications

Several IC s tuden t s w e r e s tar t led last

m o n t h to rece ive a s p a m m e s s a g e v ia

e m a i l e ssen t i a l l y o f f e r i n g a d e g r e e ,

admi t ted ly f r om a non-accred i ted u n i -

versi ty, for paymen t . The d a r i n g mass

cash-for-qualif ications o f fe r a p p e a r s to

have b e e n l i m e d carefu l ly to c o i n c i d e

wi th the lowest po int in mos t s tudents '

a c a d e m i c years.

Holbein Theft

H o l b e i n Hall res ident Ne i l Luck w a s sur-

prised to discover an intruder in his r o o m

on Friday 5 I ebruary . Re tu rn ing f r o m a

brief visit to the k i t chen he f o u n d a m a n

in the p rocess o f s t ea l i ng his c o m p u t e r .

The m a n had en t e r ed t h r o u g h a g r o u n d

f loor w i n d o w , w h i c h h a d b e e n left

s l ight ly ajar. A l t h o u g h M r Luck

a t t e m p t e d to rest ra in t h e burg la r , h e

e s caped , d r o p p i n g the l oose c h a n g e h e

had p i cked up, a n d ran away d o w n I ul-

h a m Road . Fortunate ly , n o t h i n g w a s

taken, a l t hough M r Luck w a s left b ru i sed

by the e n c o u n t e r .

C o l l e g e secur i ty w a s qu i ck to arr ive

o n the s c e n e a n d t h e p o l i c e a r r i v ed

rather later. The m a n is d e s c r i b e d as

b e i n g in his early to m i d 20's, a n d of I lis-

pan lc o r ig in , the inc iden t o c c u r r e d at

7.30 p m ; a n y o n e in t h e Eve lyn G a r d e n s

a rea at that t im e w h o s a w a n y t h i n g sus-

p ic ious s h o u l d contac t secur i ty .

xOxbridge Don

A n Ox fo rd a n d a C a m b r i d g e co l l ege that

s h a r e the s a m e n a m e have c o m e

t o g e t h e r to c rea te the very first g e n u i n e

a n d real " O x b r i d g e " d o n . This sees the

t w o C o r p u s Christ i co l l eges bury ing tra

d i t iona l rivalries in Ihe face of s l i f f c o m

p e t i t i o n at h o m e a n d a b r o a d a n d

c o m i n g toge the r l o create a jo int jun ior

research fe l lowsh ip . David Stone, a C a m

br idge h is tor ian , wi l l s p e n d two years at

e a c h c o l l e g e w h e n h e takes up the pos

in O c t o b e r .

Explosive Discovery

N i t r o g e n m a y norma l l y be r ega rded as

b e i n g o n e o f the m o r e dul l a n d bo r i n g

o f Ihe c h e m i c a l e l e m e n t s - the stable ,

inv is ib le gas that f o rm s e ighty per cent

o f the air w e brea the - but the v irulent ly

explos ive n e w creat ion o f Dr Karl Christe,

a r esea rch sc ient ist w o r k i n g for the US

Air f o r c e , appea r s to c h a n g e their per-

cep t i ons s o m c w h a l . As repor ted in Ihe

Times, Dr Chr iste was the leader of a

t e a m o f IS c h e m i s t s , w o r k i n g a l the

Edwards Air Force Base in the M o j a v e

Desert , that m a n a g e d to synthes ise a

n e w f o r m o f e l e m e n t a l n i t r o g e n . N s ,

e f f e c t i v e l y d i s p r o v i n g the c o m m o n l y -

he ld n o t i o n that it w o u l d b e im pos s i b l e

to b i n d m o r e t han three a t o m s o r ni tro-

g e n toge the r into a m o l e c u l e . A n Nr

m o l e c u l e has five a t o m s in a V-shape

a n d w o u l d no rma l l y not create m o r e

than a br ie f flutter, w e r e it not for its

instabi l i ty that p r o m i s e s advances in the

f ie lds of p r o p u l s i o n a n d exp los ives .

Last M o n d a y s aw a

n e w pub l i c a t i on in

the lecture theatres

of Imperial Co l lege . 'Gulix' , pub l i shed by

City and Gui lds U n i o n , was an at tempt to

improve the o the rw i se b l and cover of

Gu i ldsheet , by copy i n g Ihe layout and

des ign of I elix's f ronl page. I he stunt was

technica l ly we l l o rches t ra ted , a l t h o u g h

w h e l h e r or n o l il c o n f u s e d sen ior m e m -

bers o f the co l lege remains uncon f i rmed .

Unfor tunate ly for C&GLJ, o n e small

detail was ove r looked - the small print o n

the: bo t tom of I elix page two, in part icu-

lar the ISSN reg is l ra t ion a n d copyr ight

in format ion . Whi le the layout a n d type-

faces used by Gul ix ate suff iciently differ-

ent f r o m I e l ix 's to m a k e lega l a c t i on

unlikely, the wor ld famous cat logo and let-

t e rhead has b e e n r e p r o d u c e d a lmos t

y

exac l ly . I elix I d i lo r

M r Ld Sexton is

be l ieved to be look-

ing into ihe lega l s i tuat ion , on ly c o m -

m e n t i n g "I wil l consult w i th my lawyers

be fore m a k i n g any formal statement".

M e a n w h i l e sources c lose to D inesh ,

Ihe ed i tor of Gu i l d shee t /Gu l i x , h a ve

repor ted thai he is a t t empt ing to transfer

pr iva le l u n d s l o o f f sho re inves tments ,

p e n d i n g Ihe outcome; o l any court act ion

W h e n q u e s t i o n e d about Ihe matter, he

apparent l y e x c l a i m e d "It's all l ies!", hu l

Ihis report was later revealed lo be entirely

untruc>.

II s e e m s that the only h o p e lor C&GU

is that the matter b l ows over w i thout

r each ing the courts. I his is i ndeed possi-

ble for, as o n e I cl ix reporter put il, " imi-

tation is the bes l fe>rm of flattery".

Photo :Wi l l i am A n i nd ignan t Editor p resen ts t h e e v i d e n c e

A N I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E S I N G A P O R E S O C I E T Y P R O D U C T I O N

5

1

s

to

T

*

i

h

P o u n d s

4 s 5

syI n d o n e s i a w a s bad l y a f f e c t e d by the

1997 e c o n o m i c cr is is, w a g e s w e r e cut

a n d t h e p r i c e o f e s s e n t i a l i t e m s

i n c reased hugely,- pr i ces by 3 8 % , tra in

fares by 5 0 % , c h i c k e n by 8 6 % . t o r

Indones i a ' s w o r k i n g c l a ss (86 m i l l i o n

p e o p l e ) , t h e cr is is m e a n t u n e m p l o y -

ment , s ta rva t ion a n d h o m e l e s s n e s s . A

revolut ion w a s led by s tudents , f o l l o w e d

by the country 's workers,- in January 1998

there w e r e w i d e s p r e a d str ikes, f o l l o w e d

by s tuden t protes ts . O n 12 M a y six s tu-

den t s w e r e sho t by t r o o p s in Jakarta ,

c a u s i n g f u r t h e r r iots , a n d s t u d e n t

d e m o n s t r a t i o n s . The a rm y a t t a cke d s tu-

dents in t h e streets but c o u l d not s t o p

t h e m o c c u p y i n g the par l i amentary bu i l d-

ing .

Suhar to , w h o c a m e to p o w e r af ter

a c o u p in 1965 that k i l l ed ove r ha l f a m i l -

l ion p e o p l e , r e s i g n e d as a result o f t h e

peop l e ' s a c t i ons . H o w e v e r , t h e r e w e r e

f e w c h a n g e s , s i n c e h e w a s r e p l a c e d by

his d e p u t y B J H a b i b i e . The f ight f o t

d e m o c r a c y wi l l c o n t i n u e .

O n Thu r sday 4 February , Imper ia l ' s

Soc ia l i s t W o r k e r S t u d e n t S o c i e t y a n d

Env i ronmenta l Society h o s t e d a g r o u p o f

s tudents f r o m I n d o n e s i a w h o are act ive

in the o r g a n i s a t i o n that has b e e n in te-

gral to the s t rugg le aga ins t t h e r e g i m e

in I ndones i a . The s tu den t s a re t o u r i n g

Britain to raise aw a ren es s o f their cause ,

a n d Felix w a s ab l e to ask o n e of the stu-

den t s s o m e q u e s t i o n s after the talk.

:

?

W h e n y o u have a c o n s c i o u s n e s s y o u

have to g ive all you r e n e r g y to it. The

p e o p l e o f m y c o u n t r y s u p p o r t e d m e in

the past, so it is my ob l iga t ion to d o this.

:

?

W e have a t rad i t ion o f o rgan i s a t i on in

t h e univers i ty , so w e have e s t ab l i shed

a n a t m o s p h e r e w h e r e soc ia l a n d pol i t-

ical p r o b l e m s a re a l w a y s b e i n g d i s-

c u s s e d . A lmos t every year w e o r g a n i s e d

little str ikes, w h i c h is w h y w h e n the cr i-

sis rea l l y b e g a n to b i te t h e s t r i kes

e r u p t e d m o r e regular ly . W e o r g a n i s e d

w h e n the n e w s tu den t s c a m e to t h e

c a m p u s e s every n e w t e r m , by s h o w i n g

t h e m t h e o p p r e s s i o n w h i c h exists in

I n d o n e s i a . W e o r g a n i s e d b i g d i s c u s -

s ions a n d after a b o u t a m o n t h of e d u -

cat ion w e broke up into smal l d i s cuss ion

g r o u p s . The raw mater ia l s o f t h e m o v e -

m e n t c a m e f r o m t h e s e g r o u p s .

:

Every th ing , w e d i s cuss na t i ona l i ssues

a n d c o n d i t i o n s a n d w e have ideo log i ca l

d i scuss ions to edu ca t e s tudents in Marx-

ist i deas o n po l i t i cs a n d e c o n o m i c s . W e

s t o o d for t h e s t u d e n t c o u n c i l a n d u s e d

t h o s e p o s i t i o n s to o r g a n i s e . In M a y w e

a r g u e d that s t u d e n t s had to bu i l d l inks

w i t h the u rban p o o r a n d w i t h w o r k e r s .

W e w o n that a r g u m e n t o n our c a m p u s ,

a n d p e o p l e c a m e to a dd r e s s our mass

m e e t i n g s .

:

?

W h e n it w a s a n n o u n c e d that Suhar to

had s t e p p e d d o w n the r e w a s i m m e d i -

ate j u b i l a t i o n . But t h e n a s e c t i o n o f the

s tu den t s a r g u e d that Hab ib i e ' s appo in t -

m e n t s h o u l d b e w e l c o m e d b e c a u s e he

w a s a g o o d M u s l i m . O t h e r s w e r e not

h a p p y tha t H a b i b i e h a d b e e n m a d e

pres ident . W h e n the universit ies g o back

in A u g u s t w e e x p e c t th is p r o c e s s o f

po l a r i s a t i on to g r o w . It is impor tan t that

w e c o n t i n u e to bu i l d o n the c a m p u s e s .

:

Yes, of course , we ' r e just no rma l peop le ,

t e n o f m y c lose f r i ends have b e e n in jail

s ince 1996, a n d twenty o f m y fr iends are

m i s s i n g .

*• \ v N \ ' '*„„ f Borneo >

Indian Ocean

Kalimantan f 4/

Ujunrgpandang' ,» '-fS

North

Pacific

Ocean

A

Ulan

.•'VusrMua,

C

date:

venue:

time:

1

s

5 Comment 5

The Audible Conscience

We e k a f t e r w e e k I w a k e u p to the sh r i l l ,

d e m e n t e d , e l e c t r o n i c w a i l i n g o f m y c h e a p

p l as t i c a l a r m c l o c k . I c r a c k o p e n m y e y e s

a n d a m g r e e t e d by the f e e b l e g l o w o f s u n l i g h t pe r-

m e a t i n g m y t h i n , n y l o n c u r t a i n s , b l o t t e d ou t by the

d w a r f i n g c o n c r e t e c o n s t r u c t i o n s o f the City a n d the

s m o g g y h a z e o f p o l l u t i o n s u s p e n d e d in t h e a t m o s -

p h e r e .

O u t s i d e , p r o c e s s i o n s o f a g g r e s s i v e cars r ake

t h r o u g h t h e s t ree ts . Exhaust f u m e s c i r cu l a t e th ick ly

in the air a n d l o o m o v e r t h e c i ty l i ke a m o c k i n g

h a l o . I he p a v e m e n t s a r c d e n s e l y c l u t t e r e d w i t h

f l o c k s o f p e o p l e h e r d i n g to w o r k . P e o p l e l e a p

ac ross the road t h r o u g h g a p s in the u n y i e l d i n g traf-

f i c , r e j o i n i n g t h e c r o w d o f p e d e s t r i a n s o n t h e

o p p o s i t e s i d e . It's a l w a y s t h e s a m e c r o w d I s e c

h e r e but n e v e r t h e s a m e f a c e s . A l l o f t h e m are hur-

r y i n g to g o s o m e w h e r e b u t n o n e e v e r ge t any-

where,- f o r s u r e l y e n o u g h i t ' l l b e t h e r e a g a i n

t o m o r r o w : t h e s a m e c r o w d w i t h m a n y f a c e s w a l k -

i n g , r u s h i n g , c r o w d i n g , s h o v i n g a n d c r u s h i n g al l s o

that they c a n d o it a g a i n the d a y a f te r , a n d t h e d a y

a f te r that . A l l s h a r i n g tha t s a m e m i n d l e s s l y d e t e r -

m i n e d ga i t .

I d o a l w a y s r e c o g n i s e o n e f a c e . D r e s s e d in a

g rey , w o o l l e n o v e r c o a t w i t h h i s a r m s h u d d l e d

a c r o s s h is c h e s t to h o l d it c l o s e , h e t r u d g e s e n d -

less l y a r o u n d K e n s i n g t o n . H is f a c e is s m u d g e d

w i t h t h e l e a d e d a n d s o o t y dus t o f the city. H i s

w a i s t - l o n g , t h i c k l y m a t t e d a n d d e t e r i o r a t i n g g r e y

ha i r r e s e m b l e s a w o r n a n d d i s h e v e l l e d c a rpe t . I

h a v e n e v e r o n c e s e e n h i m s t o p to rest, s p e a k or

a s k fo r a n y t h i n g . I e x p e c t h e w i l l b e d e a d b e f o r e

t h e e n d o f w i n t e r .

A n d a l l a r o u n d m e t h e s t r ee t s o f the Ci ty l i ve

o n ; c r a w l i n g a n d h e a v i n g w i t h t h e o p p r e s s i v e a n d

s u f f o c a t i n g p o p u l a t i o n . W e l ive l ike rats in a n ove r-

c r o w d e d c a g e that s n a p a n d tear at e a c h o t h e r a n d

t h e n t r a m p l e the i r w o u n d e d . C l i m b i n g Ihe e c o -

n o m i c l a d d e r h a s b e c o m e e v e r y t h i n g ; r o a d r age is

c o m m o n news,- s o m e p e o p l e a r c r o b b e d , run o v e r

a n d k i l l e d ; o t h e r s a r c left for d e a d , l i v i n g o n the

s t r e e t s . In this g l o r i f i e d c o n c r e t e s l u m h u m a n i t y

h a s l o n g a g o s e e p e d t h r o u g h t h e d r a i n a g e gra t-

i n g a n d i n t o t h e s e w e r . W e a re so a b s o r b e d in the

e n d l e s s n u r t u r i n g o f ou r b r ave n e w w o r l d that w e

m u s t l e a v e i l u p to t h e h o m e l e s s , c y n i c s a n d o u t -

casts t o t ru l y a d m i r e it. T h e resu l t has b e e n m a s s

u r b a n i s a t i o n : a n u n n a t u r a l , u n r e a s o n a b l e , p o l -

l u t e d , o v e r c r o w d e d , i n h u m a n a n d r e p u l s i v e c r e-

a t i o n .

T h e r e is n o s an i t y to b e f o u n d h e r e . P e o p l e

w h o l ive h e r e h a v e b e c o m e t o o b l i n d , dea f , n u m b

or i g n o r a n t o f the i r e n v i r o n m e n t t o c a r e a b o u t it.

T h e o n l y w a y t h e y c a n ge t t h r o u g h a d a y o f the i r

l i fe w i t h o u t the i n c o n v e n i e n c e s o f c o n s c i e n c e a n d

h u m a n i t y is by p e r s u a d i n g t h e m s e l v e s that ou r

w o r l d is Ihe o n l y w a y ; l ha t a n y b o d y w h o tr ies to

te l l t h e m that t h e w o r l d c a n b e m a d e be t t e r is a n

idea l i s t , a d r e a m e r , c y n i c a l , a n e x t r e m i s t , a r e d ,

n a i v e , u n r e a l i s t i c or jus t m a d . It is t h e g r e a t e s t

t r a g e d y o f th is w o r l d - th is f i n a l s o l u t i o n - that but

a m i n o r i t y a p p e a r to b e a w a r e e n o u g h o f t h e

w o r l d in w h i c h w e l ive to c a r e e n o u g h l o c h a n g e

it or e v e n a c k n o w l e d g e t h a i it s h o u l d b e c h a n g e d .

I h r o u g h o u t h i s to ry a n d o n in to the p r e s e n t Ihe

f o u n d a t i o n s o f s o c i e t y , o u r v i e w s a n d ou r v a l u e s

c o n t i n u e to sh i f t l i k e d e s e r t s a n d s , if o n l y w e

m a k e t h e m . Every v o i c e d d i s s e n t , e v e r y a w a k e n e d

m i n d , e v e r y i n s p i r e d o p i n i o n , e v e r y g e s t u r e a n d

e v e r y d e e d w i l l m o v e t h e m a n d i n f l u e n c e w h a t

t h e y w i l l b e c o m e .

But t h e w o r l d is t h i c k w i t h t h e s t e n c h o f a p a -

thy, a n d it a p p e a r s that all y o u w i l l let l i t t le c h a n g e

in t h e nea r f u t u r e . In the m e a n l i m e o u r g e n e r a -

t i on m a y l o o k f o r w a r d to w h e n th is w i l l a l l b e

o u r s . Each o f us w i l l b e s p e n d i n g e v e r y day o f ou r

m e a n i n g l e s s e x i s t e n c e b u r n i n g u p o u r l i ves in

o r d e r to k e e p u p w i t h e v e r y b o d y e l s e . Each o f us

w i l l b e n o m o r e l h a n a fart in t h e v e n t i l a t i o n .

CENTENARY LECTURE SERIES: MAKING PIGS FLY

Great Engineering Achievements of the Last 100 Years

The Only Way to Travel 0

Dr Paul Ewing r

Probably the most stylish man in college!

Mechanical Engineering Lecture Theatre 220. 5-6pm Tuesday 16th Feb 1999

Letters & Small Ads 5

Focus Groups Reminder

Dear Felix

This is a qu i ck r e m i n d e r to all t h o s e p e o -

ple w h o go t r a n d o m e-mails f r o m m e ,

a n d for a n y o n e e l se that m i g h t b e inter-

ested, that the focus g roups that give you

your c h a n c e to have your say a b o u t the

U n i o n wi l l take p lace o n t h e f o l l o w i n g

dates:

: ICU Reta i l ing

5.30 in the UDFI

d ICU Bars & Ca te r i ng

5.30 in dBs

: ICU A d m i n i s t r a t i o n &

Serv ices

5.30 in the UDFI

n ICU Ents

5.30 in dBs

A n y o n e w h o has s o m e t h i n g to say

is invi ted to a t t end , t h o u g h w e wi l l b e

l imi t ing the n u m b e r s o f e a c h g r o u p .

W ine a n d n ibb les wi l l be se rved at

e a c h m e e t i n g .

A n d , if y o u don ' t be l i e ve s t u d e n t

o p i n i o n c o u n t s - after r e p e a t e d c o m -

m e n t s a b o u t F l e d o n i z m , w e h a v e

rep laced it this w e e k w i th "U top ia " w h i c h

has a far m o r e popu l i s t a p p r o a c h to t h e

last d e c a d e or so of d a n c e , so if y o u

loved the l ikes o f The S h a m e n , U n d e r -

wor ld , N e w O r d e r or en joy m o r e charty

d a n c e l ike Daf t Punk , Fa tboy S l im ,

M o u s s e T etc t h e n you ' l l l o ve th is .

Anyway , don ' t forget t o have you r

say, e i ther t h r o u g h the focus g r o u ps , by

a t t end ing hust ings and finally, by vo t i ng .

R e m e m b e r , w e might k e e p r e p e a t i n g it,

but it is t rue - it is your U n i o n , a n d you r

o p i n i o n s d o coun t .

Chee r s

M a r k H o m e

Events & M a r k e t i n g M a n a g e r

Whiplash a Winner

Dear Felix,

In r e sponse to Wh ip l a sh I w o u l d just l ike

to congra tu la te the u n i o n for at last hav-

ing a n igh t a i m e d at t hose w h o l ike

heavy a l ternat ive mus i c a n d thank those

w h o a r r anged it. The mus i c p layed w a s

incred ib ly var ied a n d had s o m e t h i n g for

e v e r y o n e w h e t h e r they like punk, hard-

core , industr ia l , go th or just heavy meta l .

I never t h o u g h t that I w o u l d hear Wh i te

Z o m b i e b e i n g p layed in the u n i o n and I

w a s g l ad to hear Mar i l yn M a n s o n b e i n g

hea rd in dB's o n c e m o r e (I be l i eve the

first t i m e w a s last D e c e m b e r ' s W o r l d

AIDS Day party). Hope fu l l y this was just

the first o f a regular n ight . M y only c o m -

plaint, it w a s o n a Saturday instead o f a

Friday w h e n it w o u l d have d r a w n an

e ven larger c r o w d .

Stef Evans

B i o c h e m II

IQ Sec

Defend Free Education

Dear Felix,

Last w e e k I read a n art icle in the exce l-

lent e l e c t r o n i c n e w s p a p e r , SchNEWS ,

w h i c h I have to share w i th y o u . The sub-

ject is c lose to all our hearts, ou r e d u c a -

t ion . In this count ry w e have s e e n wha t

a m o u n t s to the pr ivat isat ion of our e d u -

cat ion sys tem by the i m p l e m e n t a t i o n of

po l i c ies such as the na t ion cu r r i cu lum in

schools to the tai lor ing of deg ree courses

in univers i t ies to the n e e d s o f bus iness

a n d industry, not p e o p l e or the p lanet .

This year w e have s e e n the the g o v e r n -

men t s ' latest nail in the cof f in o f e d u c a -

t ion for al l , tu i t ion f ees are n o w a reality.

Yet w e are not a lone , other gove rnmen t s

have also b e e n ' re forming ' the educa t ion

s y s t e m s in the i r c o u n t r i e s . H o w e v e r ,

t hese r e fo rms are at t ract ing so m u c h

m o r e res is tance a b r o a d then in Britain

that it puts us to s h a m e .

In G r e e c e , pup i l s a n d teachers have

j o i n e d fo rces to o p p o s e the i m p l e m e n -

ta t ion of the 2525/97 Act w h i c h seeks to

link e d u c a t i o n direct ly to t h e n e e d s a n d

f luc tua t ions o f the e c o n o m y . The Act,

i n t r o d u c e d near ly a year a g o a n d bi l led

as "a b road r e fo rm o f the e d u c a t i o n sys-

t e m " m e a n s , in reality, in tens i f i ca t ion o f

Science and Maths

Tutors Required

Sc ience and M a t h s tutors r equ i r ed in

L o n d o n a n d the H o m e C o u n t i e s .

Graduates only

p

Tel

(Top Tutors Agency)

the cu r r i cu lum, rivalry b e t w e e n s c h o o l s

o n the basis o f the e d u c a t i o n o f f e r ed

a n d total loss of f ree class d i s cuss ion

t i m e for pupi ls . First to react w e r e the

teache rs , c u l m i n a t i n g in four days o f

ser ious r io t ing in m a n y G r e e k cit ies in

N o v e m b e r . Pupi ls then o c c u p i e d over

1000 s c h o o l s in D e c e m b e r . The g o v e r n -

m en t h o p e d the kids w o u l d 'get it out of

their systems ' by the t im e o f the Christ-

mas hol idays arr ived. N o such luck, c o m e

mid-January 800 s c h o o l s w e r e still o c c u -

p i e d . The g o v e r n m e n t b e g a n prosecut-

ing pupi ls and a w av e o f threats a n d

terror b e g a n to sp read .

S tar t ing o n January 15th, d e m o n -

strat ions swep t a lmos t every G r e e k city,

in A t h e n s , w h e r e 25 ,000 p e o p l e

p ro tes t ed , 14 arrests w e r e m a d e w i th

heavy cha rges c en t r ed o n t w o p e o p l e ,

A rban Belala, a 17 year o ld A l b a n i a n a n d

Vasilis Evangel idis, a 30 year o ld anarchist

and u n e m p l o y e d teacher . They d e n i e d

all cha rges and got put o n r e m a n d for

their t roubles. O n January 19th, as d e m o s

a n d riots c o n t i n u e d to s w e e p the c o u n -

try, Vas i l is a n n o u n c e d , "What is m o s t

impor tan t t oday is the c o n t i n u a t i o n o f

the st ruggle , the sol idarity w i th the o c c u -

p ied s c h o o l s a n d the c o m i n g t o g e t h e r

a n d the c o m m u n i c a t i o n o f all p e o p l e in

s t ruggle . " A n d the s t rugg le has c o n t i n -

u e d , on the 21st January, over 40 activists

w e r e a r r e s t ed , m o s t l y in A t h e n s a n d

Patras, a n d ba i l ed unti l l e b r u a r y . Ihe

d e m o s s h o w n o s igns o f aba t i ng .

M e a n w h i l e , back in Eng land , "I think

it's very r e a s o n a b l e . It's a fair ma rke t

price," was the c o m m e n t m a d e by a Lon-

d o n S c h o o l o f E c o n o m i c s s tuden t o n

tu i t ion fees . W h y not take a leaf ou t o f

t h e G r e e k s c h o o l b o o k s a n d d o s o m e -

t h i n g to d e f e n d our e d u c a t i o n sys tem

i n s t e a d o f s i t t i ng b a c k a n d l e t t i ng it

b e c o m e c l o sed o f f to all excep t t h o s e

ab l e t o pay for it.

B. C a n n i n g , C h e m . 3

P. S. If y o u w a n t to s u b s c r i b e to

S c h N E W S t h e n g o to:

h t tp ://www.schnews .org .uk/ a n d if y o u

l ike w h a t y o u get t h e n s e n d t h e m a

d o n a t i o n .

Exam Stress Workshop

'Emotional Preparation' led by Claudio Calvi, Psychotherapist

Imperial College Health Centre

Wednesday 10 & 17 March, 3.00 - 4.30pm

e

s

The w o r k s h o p wi l l p rov ide oppo r tun i t i e s to share c o n c e r n s and exp lo re better

ways o f h a n d l i n g stress a n d anxiety d u r i n g rev is ion a n d exams .

Fire in Princes Garden

his is pr imar i ly a request for the c o n -

c e r n e d res ident w h o w r o t e the letter

I ire in Pr inces Ga rden ' , wh i ch appeared

in last w e e k ' s Felix, to c o m e fo rward .

Kei th Reyno lds , H e a d o f Security, has

inves t iga ted t h e a l l eged inc ident , but

n e e d s fur ther i n f o rm a t i on in order to

c o n t i n u e his inqui r ies . The res ident in

ques t ion , or a n y o n e else w h o was in the

hall a r o u n d l u n c h t i m c o n 27 January

a n d w h o has i n f o r m a t i o n , s h o u l d c o n -

tact Keith Reyno lds o n x48902. Shou ld

the person(s) in ques t ion w i sh to remain

a n o n y m o u s , they can contac t m e and I

wi l l pass the i n f o rm a t i o n o n to security,

p r e se r v i ng their anonymi t y .

By the way , secur i ty don ' t conduc t

roll cal ls d u r i n g real a l a rms b e c a u s e

there is n o way of k n o w i n g w h o is in the

hall at t h e t i m e . The fire b r igade a lways

a s s u m e the r e are still p e o p l e in the

b u i l d i n g .

Ed

Deadline for letters is

12noon Wednesday.

Let te rs m a y b e e d i t e d f o r l e n g t h ,

b u t w i l l n o t b e a l t e r e d in a n y o t h e r

w a y . Let ters n e e d n o t b e s i g n e d ,

bu t a s w i p e c a r d m u s t b e s h o w n

w h e n s u b m i t t i n g

a n o n y m o u s le t ters .

'

e

Monday

s

m

s

Tuesday

N e w s M e e t i n g

C l u b s c e n e

Thursday

P h o e n i x M e e t i n g

Friday

N e w s M e e t i n g

M u s i c M e e t i n g

m

m

m

m

m

5 7

s

H a v i n g b e e n d e p r i v e d o f s p a c e for m y

u s u a l rant last w e e k , I a m n o w left

w i t h an en t i r e p a g e to f i l l . W h y c a n ' t

y o u lot wr i te m o r e let ters? Luck i l y I a m

u n a b l e to c o m m e n t a b o u t P r e s i d e n t

C l i n t o n ' s i m p e a c h m e n t (or l ack o f it),

as at the t i m e o f w r i t i n g t h e S e n a t e

w a s still d e b a t i n g b e h i n d c l o s e d d o o r s .

At t h e e n d o f t h e day , t h o u g h , w e al l

k n o w the l ike ly o u t c o m e - he ' l l g e t a

t e l l i ng off , a s l ap o n the wr is t at bes t

(or wors t , d e p e n d i n g o n y o u r po l i t i c a l

p e r s u a s i o n ) . W i t h t h e c a m e r a s a n d

r epo r t e r s r e m o v e d f r o m t h e c h a m b e r ,

h o w e v e r , it is i n t e r e s t i n g to s p e c u l a t e

h o w e a c h S e n a t o r w i l l u s e h i s a l l o t t e d

s p e e c h t i m e . You c a n s e e it n o w ; " M r

Speake r , L ad i e s a n d G e n t l e m e n . D id

y o u h e a r t h e o n e a b o u t t h e I r i sh-

man . . . ? " P e r h a p s t h e y c o u l d w h i t t l e

a w a y the m i n u t e s r e c i t i n g p o e m s for

their l o v e d o n e s . W h a t e v e r t h e y ' r e u p

to , I'm su re they c o u l d n ' t p o s s i b l y be

t a l k i n g a b o u t i m p e a c h m e n t . Tha t

w o u l d g o aga in s t t h e e t i q u e t t e o f t h e

A m e r i c a n l ega l s y s t e m - it w o u l d b e

g e t t i n g to the po i n t .

A f l i ck t h r o u g h n e w s c l o s e r to

h o m e is m o r e i n t e r e s t i n g . ' C h e l s e a

Lose at H a r l i n g t o n ' c a n d o n o t h i n g but

a m u s e m e . If p l a ye r s w h o a re p a i d

m i l l i o n s are s t u p i d e n o u g h to l e a v e

R o l e x e s l y i n g a b o u t in c h a n g i n g

r o o m s , they w o n ' t ge t a n y s y m p a t h y

f r o m m e . tha t f i n a n c i a l a n d h e a l t h

p r o b l e m s a re c o n n e c t e d c o m e s as n o

su rp r i s e w h a t s o e v e r - t h e o l d m a x i m

' h e a l t h y in m i n d , h e a l t h y in b o d y ' h a s

sc ient i f i c b a c k i n g a n d , f u n n i l y e n o u g h ,

w a s the t op i c o f m y f ina l y ea r p ro j e c t .

D o n ' t start m c . . .

d

Igor A l e x a n d e r ' s ' M a g n u s ' is a far m o r e

i n t e r e s t i n g t o p i c . I p e r s o n a l l y d o no t

have a p r o b l e m w i t h AI -1 c a n a c c e p t

that w i t h i n m y l i f e t i m e t h e r e w i l l p r o b -

ably be c o m p u t e r s w h o s e r e s p o n s e s

are c o m p a r a b l e to h u m a n s . W h a t is

m o r e i n t e r e s t i n g is a s k i n g at w h a t

po in t d o w e cal l s u c h m a c h i n e s c o n -

sc i ous , a n d g i v e t h e m t h e r igh ts a s s o -

c i a t ed w i t h s u c h a p rope r t y ? A f t e r a l l ,

' h i g h e r a n i m a l s ' ( i .e. pe ts ) h a v e m o r e

lega l r ights t h a n y o u r P e n t i u m b a s e d

w o r k s t a t i o n . H o w m u c h l o n g e r c a n

s u c h a d i s t i n c t i o n b e m a i n t a i n e d w i t h -

out m o r a l c o n t r a d i c t i o n s c r e e p i n g in?

O f c o u r s e , w h a t is real ly at s t a k e is ou r

d e f i n i t i o n o f c o n s c i o u s n e s s , a n d

s p e c i f i c a l l y h u m a n c o n s c i o u s n e s s .

Wha t is it to b e h u m a n ? N o t a n e a s y

q u e s t i o n fo r a M o n d a y m o r n i n g , I

rea l i se .

The p o i n t is that th i s is a p h i l o -

s o p h i c a l q u e s t i o n , a n d no t m e r e l y a

s c i en t i f i c o n e . N o a m o u n t o f n e u r o -

l o g i c a l i n v e s t i g a t i o n or c u n n i n g c i r-

cu i t ry c a n a n s w e r it, a l t h o u g h t h e y

m i g h t p r o v i d e d i f f e r e n t p e r s p e c t i v e s

o n w h a t the q u e s t i o n ac tua l l y m e a n s .

It m a y w e l l b e that t h e act o f r e c o g -

n i s i n g c o n s c i o u s n e s s d e f i n e s i l - i.e. if

e v e r y o n e b e l i e v e s a m a c h i n e or c o m -

pute r p r o g r a m to p o s s e s s h u m a n - l i k e

c o n s c i o u s n e s s , t h e n for al l i n ten ts a n d

p u r p o s e s it d o e s i n d e e d p o s s e s s it.

Th i s i m p l i e s that y o u r o w n ' s ta tus ' as

a h u m a n is d e f i n e d by t h o s e a r o u n d

y o u , a n d no t f r o m w i t h i n y o u . W h i c h

w o u l d s u g g e s t il is i m p o s s i b l e to fu l ly

u n d e r s t a n d w h a t y o u m e a n by y o u r

c o n s c i o u s n e s s , as y o u p lay n o part in

d e f i n i n g it. H m m m . O n e for those late

n i g h t s a r o u n d the c a m p f i r c , I'd say.

s

It s e e m s that a n u n b e l i e v a b l e n u m -

ber (ie d o u b l e f i gu res ) o f y o u have

t a k e n n o t i c e o f t h e U n i o n ' s ca l l t o

n o m i n a t i o n p a p e r s . Your f ive p a g e s o f

m a n i f e s t o e s p u s h e d th is w e e k ' s

to 32 in to ta l . H u s t i n g s w i l l b e l o n g .

V e r y l o n g . V o t e s w i l l t a k e h o u r s to

c o u n t , re-a l locate , a n d c o u n t a g a i n .

Sorry , I'm jus t v i s u a l i s i n g t h e t e n

d a y s a h e a d . H o n e s t l y , I a m d e l i g h t e d ;

m o r e p a g e s k e e p s m y p r i n t e r s in

e m p l o y m e n t , l o n g e r h u s t i n g s m e a n s

m o r e b e e r d r i n k i n g , a n d I l ove s t a y i n g

up all n ight p r o d u c i n g e l e c t i on spec ia l s

(OK, so tha t last o n e ' s o n l y ha l f t rue ) .

G o o d l u ck to e a c h a n d eve r y o n e o f

y o u . A n d to t h e rest o f y o u ICU m e m -

bers ; t h e y ' v e s i g n e d up , w r i t t e n 300

w o r d s , put up pos t e r s , la id the i r p r i de

a n d r e p u t a t i o n o n the l ine - so V O I L

FOR T H E M !

x

Yes , it 's f o u r in t h e m o r n i n g , a n d

I'm c o m p l a i n i n g a g a i n . T h o s e o f y o u

w h o a r c n e a r e r f ina ls t han f r e s h e r s '

w e e k wi l l r e m e m b e r that last year l e l i x

( an d t h e n o w c l o s e d Print Un i t ) o c c u -

p i e d a n o d d - s h a p e d , but u l t i m a t e l y

s p a c i o u s o f f i c e w h e r e t h e dBs bar n o w

res i des . W h e n t h e Beit r e d e v e l o p m e n t

is c o m p l e t e , Felix a n d o t h e r Pub Boa rd

c lubs w i l l have love ly n e w o f f i ces in the

b a s e m e n t , in t i m e for t h e start o f t h e

2000/01 a c a d e m i c year . In the inter-

v e n i n g t w o yea r s , l e l i x w a s to have

' s u i t a b l e t e m p o r a r y a c c o m m o d a t i o n ' ,

a c c o r d i n g to m e e t i n g s m y p r e d e c e s s o r

a n d I a t t e n d e d last s u m m e r . Ihe cur-

rent o f f i c e is, in m y o p i n i o n , i dea l - the

fact that it is sma l l e r t han t h e p r e v i o u s

o n e is o u t w e i g h e d by its s h a p e , l o c a -

t i o n a n d g e n e r a l a m b i e n c e . Nex t year ,

h o w e v e r , w e h a v e n o w h e r e to g o . At

t h e m o m e n t it s e e m s l ikely t h a i w e wi l l

b e g i v e n the c a b i n s nea r Phys ics - o n

t h e r i gh t as y o u h e a d d o w n f r o m

P r ince C o n s o r t Road t o w a r d s the Sher-

f ie ld Bu i l d i ng . They are not , in m y o p i n -

i o n , ' s u i t a b l e a c c o m m o d a t i o n ' ,

t e m p o r a r y or o t h e r w i s e .

I s h o u l d n o t e at this po i n t that I a m

n o l (yet) b l a m i n g a n y o n e . I w o u l d

rather not have a h e a d to h e a d a r g u -

m e n t w i t h L s l a l e s . I h a v e p o k e d

a r o u n d c o l l e g e a b i l , a n d can ' t rea l ly

s e e a n y w h e r e e l se tha i is s u i t a b l e . But

n i n e t h o u s a n d o f y o u s e e m o r e o f t h e

c a m p u s in o n e day than I c o u l d s e c in

a w e e k , e v e n if I s p e n t al l t h e t i m e

l o o k i n g . So if a n y o n e d o e s h a v e a n y

br igh t i deas , I w o u l d very m u c h l ike t o

hea r f r o m y o u . If a n y o n e a g r e e s w i l h

m e that t h o s e c a b i n s are unsu i tab le ; , I

m i g h t b e w a n t i n g to hea r f r o m y o u

too . . .

e

So, h o w w a s V a l e n t i n e ' s Day? I su spec t

that I s p e n t it f i l l i ng in M S c a p p l i c a t i o n

f o tms , d o i n g m y l a u n d r y a n d w a t c h i n g

t h e C a r t o o n N e t w o r k , w h i l e m y V a l e n -

t ine r e v i s e d for f o r t h c o m i n g e x a m s

( g o o d luck to e v e r y o n e in B i o l o g y II by

Ihe way ) . I l opcTu l l y y o u spen t it d o i n g

s o m e t h i n g m o r e r o m a n t i c . As l o r the

bes t V a l e n t i n e m e s s a g e in this i ssue . . .

I d o n ' t k n o w - t h e y ' r e all s o o g o o d , I

c an ' t d e c i d e . S a r c a s m is d e f i n i t e l y a

c o n v e r s a t i o n a l t o o l . . .

L n o u g h f r om m e . To save you f rom

m a d n e s s a n d to fill up the rest o f this

p a g e , m y g o o d f r i end la in M c n a u g h l

has wr i t ten a br ief history o f Va lent ines .

Ln joy your boy / g i r l f r iend, en joy b e i n g

s i ng l e , w h a t e v e r . Just m a k e sure y o u

v o l e .

eV a l e n t i n e ' s day has

a l o n g h i s to r y . Us

o r i g i n s a r c s h a d y

a n d u n c e r t a i n but p r o b a b l y have the i r

r oo t s in R o m a n c u s t o m s . O n the f o u r -

t e e n t h d a y o f l e b r u a r y a f e s t i v a l

k n o w n as L u p e r c a l i a w a s c e l e b r a t e d .

I his i n v o l v e d r i tual w h i p p i n g o f y o u n g

w o m e n w i t h a n i m a l h i d e t h o n g s to

w a r d o f f e v i l w o l v e s a n d , s o I hey

b e l i e v e d , m a k e t h e m m o r e fer t i le . The

latin for goa t sk in t h o n g is f e b r u a - this

is w h e r e t h e m o n t h g e t s its n a m e

f r o m . The R o m a n s w e r e a k i nky lot ,

s t i l l , it s o u n d s m o r e e x c i t i n g t h a n

s e n d i n g s o m e o n e w h o d o e s n ' t k n o w

y o u ex is t a n a n o n y m o u s c a rd in t h e

h o p e that t hey m i g h t n o t i c e y o u as a

resu l t .

Wha t has w h i p p i n g go t to d o w i t h

V a l e n t i n e ' s d a y if y o u ' r e no t a s a d o

m a s o c h i s t ? W e l l , it 's q u i t e f u n fo r

t h o s e w h o haven ' t t r i ed it. The d a t e is

a s s o c i a t e d w i t h fer t i l i ty a n d p i c k i n g a

m a t e . It w a s a c o m m o n l y h e l d b e l i e f

that b i r d s ( the f l y i n g k i nd ) d i d n o l

c h o o s e the i r su i to r unt i l V a l e n t i n e ' s

d a y e a c h yea r .

Sa in ts V a l e n t i n e ( the re w e r e t w o

o f t h e m ) a r c b o t h t h o u g h t to have

b e e n ear l y C h r i s t i a n p r i es t s . O n e w a s

e x e c u t e d by t h e R o m a n e m p e r o r

C l a u d i u s in 270 be for m a r r y i n g y o u n g

c o u p l e s in c o n t r a d i c t i o n o f a n i m p e r -

ial o r d e r b a n n i n g a l l m a r r i a g e .

C l a u d i u s t h o u g h t that m a r r i a g e d i s-

t rac ted m e n f r o m the i r du t y to s o l d i e r

for t h e empi re ; , s o he b a n n e d it. Sa int

V a l e n t i n e m a r r i e d c o u p l e s in s e c r e t ,

but w a s f o u n d ou t , i m p r i s o n e d a n d

b e h e a d e d .

The o ther Saint V a l e n t i n e w a s a b i l

o f a C h r i s t i a n mar tyr . I m p r i s o n e d for

h is b e l i e f s , his pa r i sh c h i l d r e n m i s s e d

h is k i n d n e s s so m u c h that t h e y t o o k

h i m l o v i n g n o t e s w h i c h they p a s s e d

b e t w e e n t h e ba r s o f h i s c e l l . T h e

r e c o r d s d o n ' l say a n y t h i n g a b o u t h is

s w e e t h e a r t , o n l y c h i l d r e n .

yT h e r e a s o n

w h y a fert i l i ty fes t i-

v a l b e c a m e a

sa in t ' s d a y is the s a m e r e a s o n that

t h e w i n t e r s o l s t i c e b e c a m e C h r i s t m a s

a n d the fes t i va l o f the m o o n g o d d e s s

Faster - C h r i s t i a n a d o p t i o n o f P a g a n

r i l e s . I he M i d d l e A g e s s a w the e m e r -

g e n c e o( V a l e n t i n e ' s t r a d i t i o n s as w e

k n o w t h e m t o d a y . I h e first V a l e n t i n e

is g e n e r a l l y a t t r i b u t e d to that F r e n c h

s m o o t h i e C h a r l e s D u e d ' O r l e a n s . A

p r i s o n e r o f w a r in t h e t o w e r a f t e r

A g i n c o u r l in 1415 , h e w r o t e a r h y m e d

v e r s e d ' a m o u r to his w i f e in t r a n c e o n

Saint V a l e n t i n e ' s day . H e f o l l o w e d this

up w i t h a n o t h e r s ixty or so w h i c h c a n

still b e s e e n in the Br i t ish m u s e u m . H e

c l ea r l y w a n t e d he r to k e e p h is s i d e of

the b e d f ree , n o l to m e n t i o n Ihe fact

that h e w a s p r o b a b l y g e t t i n g a little

f r u s t r a t ed in the t o w e r .

In t h e s e v e n t e e n t h c e n t u r y i l w a s

c o m m o n (or u n m a r r i e d m a i d e n s l o

s e e k the i r i d e a l m a n by p i n n i n g bay

l e a v e s l o the i r p i l l o w o n V a l e n t i n e ' s

n i g h t in t h e b e l i e f that t hey w o u l d

d r e a m of the i r f u t u r e h u s b a n d . M e n

w o u l d d r a w a w o m a n ' s ' n a m e s f r o m

a hat a n d w e a r i l o n the i r s l e e v e for

the next w e e k - h e n c e t h e t e r m w e a r -

i n g o n e ' s hea r t o n o n e ' s s l e e v e .

G i v i n g c a rds w a s c o m m o n by the

1800s . I'd say its m u c h less f u n than

w h i p p i n g e a c h o t h e r , but that 's the

w a y t h i n g s h a v e g o n e . N o w y o u c a n

cut o u t r ed c r e p e p a p e r hea r t s for

you r t e a che r at p r ima ry s c h o o l or s e n d

s w i s h W l I Sm i th ca rds to t h o s e p e o p l e

y o u ' v e a l w a y s f a n c i e d but n e v e r h a d

the g u t s to ta lk to . In the latter c a se I

r e c o m m e n d b e e r as in my e x p e r i e n c e

D u t c h c o u r a g e is far m o r e s u c c e s s s f u l

t h a n c r yp t i c m e s s a g e s in p o o r l y d i s-

g u i s e d h a n d w r i t i n g . St i l l , it's a nice;

e x c u s e for y o u a n d y o u r s i g n i f i c a n t

o t h e r l o m a k e a r o m a n t i c ( and h o p e -

fu l ly p a s s i o n a t e ) n i g h t o f it. I k n o w

w i l l .

5

g

e

We l l , i t 's b e e n a w h i l e , bu t it

h a d to h a p p e n e v e n t u a l l y .

Rag h a v e f ina l l y g o t the i r act

t o g e t h e r , r e c o v e r i n g f r o m t h e i n f a -

m o u s Wi l l i s e r a a n d t h e s u b s e q u e n t

w i l d e r n e s s yea r s . It w o u l d s e e m that

th is yea r ' s e v e n t s h a v e p r o v e d to b e

very s u c c e s s f u l , a n d y o u can ' t a r g u e

w i t h £5000 for char i t y , m a t e .

O f c o u r s e , th is f i g u r e m a y c o m -

pa re u n f a v o u r a b l y w i t h t h e m e d i c s '

e f fo r t s , but n o n o r m a l h u m a n b e i n g s

w i l l p r o b a b l y eve r b e a b l e to m a t c h

the i r s l a v i sh d e d i c a t i o n a n d d e t a c h -

m e n t f r o m real i ty , to w i t t h e M l i n c i -

den t . Al l t o l d , c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to b o t h

Rag c a m p s , w i t h f o u r c h e e r s for Sa rah

C o b u r n for f i na l l y g i v i n g ICU Rag its

c r ed ib i l i t y back . It m a k e s a c h a n g e to

start o n a h a p p y no te , par t i cu la r l y after

last w e e k ' s u n c o m p r o m i s i n g p i e c e o n

i n c o m p e t e n t staff, for w h i c h I m a k e n o

a p o l o g i e s . A n d b e f o r e y o u ask , t h e

s t i t ches I h a v e a re no t d u e to a n e g a -

t ive r e s p o n s e f r o m o n e o f ou r Sher-

f ie ld b r e t h r e n . . .

h

Wh i l e I m a y h a v e s c r i b b l e d

r e a m s a b o u t t u r o p e , I haven ' t

sa id a n y t h i n g a b o u t a n i m p o r -

tant i s sue f a c i n g us a l i t t le c l o s e r to

h o m e , n a m e l y t h e G r e a t e r L o n d o n

A u t h o r i t y , f e a r f u l that s o m e o f y o u

m a y t h i n k t h a t I d o n ' t h o l d a n o p i n i o n

o n it, h e r e g o e s m y t w o ' p e n n e t h .

N o w s e e m s a g o o d t i m e to c o m m e n t

o n it, b e c a u s e t h e Let Ken S t a n d c a m -

pa ign is g e t t i n g into full s w i n g . N o t t h e

m a y o r a l e l e c t i o n . N o t t h e c a n d i d a t e

s e l e c t i o n . N o , t h e c u r r e n t ba t t l e is t o

get dea r o l d Ken o n t o L a b o u r ' s s h o r t -

list.

W h y t h e b i g fuss , I h e a r y o u cry?

O l d e r r e a d e r s s h o u l d r e m e m b e r , o f

cou rse , that Imper ia l ' s first years w o u l d

have b e e n a b o u t t h r e e years o l d w h e n

the G r e a t e r L o n d o n C o u n c i l w a s in its

s e l f - d e s t r u c t i o n m o d e , s o it b e a r s

r e p e a t i n g tha t

Ken L i v i n g -

s tone as l eade r

of t h e G L C w a s

v i e w e d , in

s o m e qua r t e r s ,

as s l i g h t l y

w a n t i n g in his

s t e w a r d s h i p o f

t h e c o u n c i l .

F r o m w h e r e I

s t o o d , the m a n

w a s o f f h i s

rocker , m o r e left w i n g t h a n S ta l in , a n d

h e l l - b e n t o n o p e n b a t t l e w i t h Lady

T h a t c h e r . I still r e m e m b e r the h a l c y o n

d a y w h e n s h e pu t t h e G L C a n d its

i n s i d i o u s s i d e k i c k , ILLA, ou t o f the i r

m i s e r y . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , th i s w a s n o t

b e f o r e m i l l i o n s h a d b e e n w a s t e d o n a

h u g e r a n g e o f p r o j e c t s that r a n g e d

f r o m t h e l u n a t i c l o d o w n r i g h t d i s -

g race fu l . The T h a m e s Barrier, for e x a m -

p le , c a m e in at a b o u t 19 t i m e s t h e

o r i g i n a l b u d g e t ; e v e n Imper i a l can ' t

h o l d a c a n d l e to that sort o f i n c o m -

p e t e n c e . To list e v e n a h u n d r e d t h o f

t h e c r a c k p o t s c h e m e s that the G L C

f u n d e d u n d e r L i v i ngs tone ' s l e a d e r s h i p

w o u l d fil l a yea r ' s Fe l ixes .

It is a l so f o r g o t t e n by m a n y that

Ken s e c u r e d

t h e l e a d e r -

s h i p a f t e r a

Le f t-w ing

c o u p , d e p o s -

i n g t h e

n e w l y

e l e c t e d m o d -

era te c o u n c i l

l e a d e r .

A d m i t t e d l y ,

at a t i m e

w h e n t h e

i n f l u e n c e o f

R e d T e d

K n i g h t w a s

st i l l v e r y

s t r o n g , t h i s

w a s n o t a n

u n c o m m o n

e v e n t , L o n -

d o n h a v i n g

m o r e M a r x -

ists i n s u r r e c -

t i o n s t h a n

C e n t r a l

A m e r i c a .

T h o s e w h o

t h i n k o f Ken as a wit ty , n ew t- l o v i ng

b l o k e s h o u l d b e a r th is in m i n d .

Simon Baker

Voice of Reason

o

Pi "...from where I stood,

the man was off his

rocker - more left wing

than Stalin, and hell-bent

on open battle with Lady

Thatcher..."

r o b l e m is, for r e a s o n s that a re

i n e x p l i c a b l e . Ken is ve ry p o p u l a r

w i t h the electorate-. This g rea t l y

t r o u b l e s M r Blair. The fact that a n y o n e

o t h e r t h a n B la i r is

s e e n a s p o p u l a r is

o b v i o u s l y a s o u r c e o f

a n g u i s h for O u r G l o -

r i o u s L e a d e r , b u t

t h e r e is a n a d d e d

c o m p l i c a t i o n in t h i s

case- K e n is a S o c i a l -

ist. This, paradoxica l l y ,

is w h y Ken p lays w e l l

to t h e ga l l e ry , i n s o f a r

as h e is no t a t yp i ca l

b r a i n l e s s , h u m o u r l e s s

Blair d r o n e , w i t h w h i c h the G o v e r n -

m e n t b e n c h e s are s t u f f e d to b u r s t i n g

T h e r e f o r e , h e m u s t b e

s t o p p e d at all cos t s . H e

m u s t no t b e a l l o w e d to

s t a n d , let a l o n e

b e c o m e M a y o r .

O f c o u r s e , t h i s is

r u b b i s h . If the L a b o u r

Party rank a n d f i l e s u p -

por t K e n , h e m u s t b e

a l l o w e d to s t a n d , a n d

u l t i m a t e l y f a c e t h e

j u d g e m e n t o f t h e p e o -

p l e . B la i r 's o p p o s i t i o n is

c u r i o u s f r o m a n u m b e r o f a n g l e s . It

r e i n fo r ce s his i m a g e as a con t ro l f reak,

w h o is p e r m a n e n t l y w o r r i e d a b o u t d is-

a g r e e m e n t

a n d c o n f l i c t -

i n g view/

p o i n t s , h o w -

e v e r t r i v i a l .

C o n s u l t i n g

m y L a d y b i r d

b o o k o f C l i n i -

ca l P s y c h o l -

o g y , I t h i n k

t h a t ' s c a l l e d

p a r a n o i a .

A l s o , if

L a b o u r h a v e

d o n e t h e j o b

p r o p e r l y

(we l l , it 's p o s -

s i b l e at a

s q u e e z e , I

s u p p o s e ) , t h e

G L A w i l l h a v e

so l i t t l e

p o w e r t h a t

t h e m a y o r ,

w h o s o e v e r

t h a t s h o u l d

be , w i l l n e v e r

b e in a p o s i -

t i o n to ro ck t h e b o a t . If t h e y h a v e n ' t

b e e n that c a r e f u l in t h e s m a l l p r i n t ,

G o d h e l p us . C h a n c e s a r c t h e y h a v e ,

to a g rea te r or lesser ex ten t , s o let h i m

s t a n d . I m u s t a d m i t that th i s s i l ly s p e c -

t a c l e is g rea t fo r t h e C o n s e r v a t i v e s ,

b e c a u s e at th is rate it w i l l b e a o n e

h o r s e r a c e , w i t h L a b o u r f a i l i n g t o

d e c i d e d u p o n a c a n d i d a t e in t i m e for

t h e v o t i n g . H e r e ' s h o p i n g .

A

Th e b i g g e r q u e s t i o n h a s s a d l y

a l r e a d y b e e n d e c i d e d : d o w e

n e e d t h i s n e w a u t h o r i t y ? T h e

a n s w e r is n o , but u n f o r t u n a t e l y w e

w e r e s t i t c h e d up in t h e r e f e r e n d u m .

D e s p i t e m u c h c a m p a i g n i n g , the i ssues

o f M a y o r a n d A s s e m b l y w e r e no t sp l i t ,

m e a n i n g all or n o t h i n g . T h e a p p o i n t -

m e n t o f a m a y o r to o v e r s e e m a t t e r s

s u c h as t r a n s p o r t in L o n d o n is p r o b a -

bly for Ihe g o o d

"...do we need

this new authority?

The answer is no, but

unfortunately we

were stitched up in

the referendum..."

T h e o n l y p o t e n t i a l

d o w n s i d e f r o m

s c r a p p i n g t h e

G L C , o u t -

w e i g h e d a mi l-

l i o n f o l d by t h e

p o s i t i v e s , w a s

t h e e l i m i n a t i o n

o f a f i g u r e h e a d

o f f i c e fo r L o n -

d o n . T h e p e r -

s o n n e l w a s

d e c i d e d l y

d o d g y , b u t t h e

r o l e w a s t h e r e . A m a y o r w h o w a s

e m p o w e r e d l o c o - o r d i n a t e pan-met-

r o p o l i t a n i s s u e s w o u l d b e b e n e f i c i a l ,

s i m p l e to i m p l e m e n t a n d c h e a p .

But o h n o , w e can ' t s t o p t he r e .

Let ' s w h a c k in a n o t h e r t ier o f b u r e a u -

c r a cy , j u s t t o e n s u r e ' d e m o c r a c y ' .

S ad l y , l o c a l d e m o c r a c y is u s u a l l y a

sure-fire w a y o f w a s t i n g m o n e y o n the

pet p r o j e c t s o f s e l f - i n t e r e s t ed c o u n -

c i l lors w h o l ike t h e s o u n d o f the i r o w n

v o i c e s l i g h t l y m o r e t h a n is hea l t h y .

C o n s e q u e n t l y , s o m e o f t h e bene f i t s of

c ro s s - bo rou g h co-ope ra t i on wi l l be sac-

r i f i c e d o n t h e a l tar o f l o ca l a c c o u n t -

ab i l i t y . If w e rea l l y w a n t s o m e k i nd of

m a y o r a l a c c o u n t a b i l i t y , b e y o n d that

to t h e e l e c t o r a t e , d e l e g a t e s f r o m the

L o n d o n b o r o u g h s , p r e s u m a b l y the i r

c o u n c i l l e a d e r s , c o u l d f o r m s u c h an

a s s e m b l y . A s it is, w e h a v e al l t h e cost

o f r u n n i n g a n d h o u s i n g t h e e l e c t e d

r ep resen ta t i v es . It is far t o o ear ly to say

if w e a re l o o k i n g at a G L C M k II, but

w h a t e v e r t h e o u t c o m e , it is no t the

bes t s o l u t i o n fo r L o n d o n . Yet a g a i n a

p o l i c y f o r c h a n g i n g t h e w a y in w h i c h

w e a re g o v e r n e d has e m e r g e d f r o m

N e w L a b o u r ha l f -baked a n d g i v i n g the

d i s t i n c t i m p r e s s i o n that it has b e e n

d r a f t e d o n a C h i a n t i - s t a i n e d n a p k i n in

I s l i n g t on .

Si A

o m e t h i n g that I've b e e n m e a n i n g

to p l u g for s o m e l i m e is the IC

' S u m m e r Ball at A l e x a n d r a Pa lace .

I m a n a g e d to b l a g a t i cke t last year-1

say b l a g , b e c a u s e I left it late a n d had

to e n g a g e in all so r t s o f h o r s e t rad ing-

a n d it w a s a b s o l u t e l y b r i l l i a n t . Y o u

a lways t h i n k that t h e s e g r a n d i deas fall

sho r t in t h e de l i v e r y , but th i s w a s o n e

o f t h e rare t i m e s w h e n Impe r i a l de l i v-

e r e d w h a t w a s p r o m i s e d . Th is yea r wi l l

b e m u c h b i g g e r , a n d I h a v e n o d o u b t

that t i c ke t s w i l l g o l ike ho t c a k e s . Ge t

y o u r c h e q u e b o o k s o u t a n d p r e p a r e

for w h a t w i l l b e a c o r k e r . N o t 'arf.

5 c

e I e 2

Mailibu - H°le T? Earf Wif Lo^e - GayDa4

tfa-fisnal Express - DiVine c°*ieay one way - The Levellers

Praise y°u - ?a-fbsy Slitu When 1 Argue 1 see Shapes - Wleuiild

EVeryy?uEVery »ie - Placebo The Sea - M°rCKeeba

Tender - Blur As gssd as if ge-Fs - Gene

Tequila - TerrsrVision' Hazel - L??p Da L??p

Burning Disasf er - Language Lab WafChifig WiWSWS - R?n'i Size

Blahkef - Urban Species Black Milk - Massive A-f-f ack

pickers i Pattf s - We<J 12 ' f i l l 2

C

RT 1. Gay Dad- To Earth with Love

T 2. Id lewi ld-Whcn I A rgue

t 3. Levellers- O n e Way 99

- 4. Devine Comedy- Nat iona l Express

t 5. Language Lab.- Burn ing Disaster

T 6. Mercury Rev- Delta Sun Bottle. S tomp

T 7. Stereophonies-Just Look ing

= 8. Plutonik- Sitting o n Top of the Wor ld

t 9. N e w Radicals- You Get What you give

4- 10. Placebo- Every you , Every m c

T 11. Loop D a Loop- Haze l

- 12. Urban Species- Blancket

T 13. Ho l c-Ma l i b u

T 14. Fungus- Over my Hea d

-15. Gene- As G o o d As It Gets

- 16. Babybird-Back Together

-17. O o b e r m a n - Shorley Wall

- 18. The Jellys- L e m o n a d e Girl

4- 19. Garbage- W h e n I G r o w U p

- 20. Umaje ts-When I Wake U p

This week we profile Knickers and Pants. Record the Mad Monkeys on

Friday night, 7-9pm for next week's feature.

y

P: Be cause o f the e n o r m i t y o f the pants that I have to w e a r l o suppor t my love

musc l e . .

K: Its the only b i l o f kil I'd c o n t e m p l a t e w e a r i n g .

f

P: Knickers . I jus l w i sh s h e ' d cover up - It's e m b a r r a s s i n g .

K: Pants.

t

K: W e ' d tell y o u . but then w e ' d have to kill y o u .

t

K: M y purp le silk o n e s

P: M & S o n e s that my m o m m y b o u g h t m e for Chr i s tmas .

w

K: Its m o r e a q u e s t i o n o f h o w m a n y Va l en t i nes ca rds d idn ' t I get !

P: Yeah , I d idn ' t get mi l l ions! ! ! !

e

K: Yeah , Kate M o s s apparen t l y put o n a bit o f w e i g h t so they ca l led mc: in .

Ix I hcy ' re w a i l i n g for wide-screen to take of f so p e o p l e can apprec ia te m e more .

s

K D o w n the toilet l ike all g o o d shit

P: t roub le is that it's a g ranny f loater that w o n ' t g o away .

o

y

K: W e ' d sell out. . .

P: . . .unless the pr ice was right.

f

P: A n e levator r epa i rman obv ious l y .

K: Yeah , o n e that d idn ' t sme l l too bad - mos t o f t h e m stink, don ' t they?

t

K: The o r a n g e o n e s a rc nice. . .

P: But don ' t they sell t h e m all r o u n d the coun t r y loo?

I

K: Is that a n e w invent ion or s o m e t h i n g ? In m y day it w a s just biscuit a n d c h o c o -

late...

.

P: Harry Ransdcn ' s . H e d o e s il w i th a n i ce gar l ic s auce .

WEEKLY SCHEDULE

g

y y y y

1

Marky Mark

•.;a . ••' i<-iy-:- '

iirrlV;

Jon

eThe man with the hair returns after his weeks absence to deliver a consistent-ly quality show.

1their knickers

sd expose.

j

; .ooving i

Steve

Choice choons

chosen by the

choisiest of the

choonful at ICR.

Who chanty

• •

chow like this

f

t : ''St|''

s

y

Banter from the ICR bin man with co-presenter Anne Diamond.

vVn{. oris 1 ' o give cway

•».•';.;• .7:.; .''''il

eei -ol

•

show, not to be missed... unless you're doing some-thing more interest-ing like cutting your toe nails.

• ;

The .!•....

• . tunes •from e fJoi *hs

f IC Rod• '!.-:.

s

y

With guest

presenter Rod Hull

and Emu.

0 5

British f o o d has rece i ved m o r e than its fair share of crit-

ic i sm. The p r o b l e m is typica l o f this count ry , r oo t ed in

a v i e w o f f o o d for s u s t e n a n c e rather t han p l easu re . As

at t i tudes start to c h a n g e , w e ' v e a d o p t e d m o r e a n d

m o r e fo re ign rec ipes into our diet . But w h a t our nat ive

cu is ine tradit ional ly lacks in f lavour , is m o r e than m a d e

up in the shee r w a r m t h a n d w h o l e n e s s o f the f o o d .

Even the harshest crit ics o f Brit ish f o o d are o f t en still

partial to a s l i ce o f roast mea t , a Yorksh i re p u d d i n g or

a little fruit cake . W e n o w n e e d to take a f resh l o o k at

British c o o k i n g . W i th a little w o r k to avo id the typical

f lavour dra in , s o m e o f our o w n f o o d c a n b e really spe-

cial .

S a u s a g e s a c c o m p a n i e d by m a s h e d p o t a t o a re

great e x a m p l e of a tradit ional British m e a l . W h e n m a d e

we l l , it can taste fantast ic . N i g e l Slater de s c r i be s per-

fect ly the joy that is b a n g e r s a n d m a s h , part icular ly in

his latest b o o k Real F o o d .

s

I subsc r i be to the s a u s a g e c o o k i n g p h i l o s o p h y

adv oca t e d by M a t t h e w fort o f the G u a r d i a n . For m c ,

the on l y m e t h o d is to c o o k t h e m real ly s l ow l y in a p a n .

The s ausages mus t b e g o o d qual i ty , p re fe rab l y f r o m a

butcher .

The m e t h o d c o u l d n ' t be s imp le r . Just put t h e m in

a f ry ing pan over a really l o w heat , a n d c o o k for a b o u t

an hou r . S l ow c o o k i n g m e a n s t h e r e ' s n o n e e d to

pierce the sk in . N o h o l e s m e a n s n o loss o f ju i ces , but

the semi-pe rmeab le sk in o f g o o d s a u s a g e s d o e s a l l ow

fat to s lowly s e e p out , f o r m i n g a fantas t i c st icky g o o

that m a k e s the wai t total ly w o r t h w h i l e .

d

Schoo l m a s h , m a d e f r o m p o w d e r and se rved w i th

a s coop . Even n o w the mere thought makes m e cr inge,

so it's s t range that p rope r m a s h e d pota to n o w ranks

a m o n g s t my favour i te f o o d s . The on ly essent ia ls are

s r

real pota to , a n d s o m e t h i n g to m o i s t e n it up . Po ta toes

c o m e in t w o bas ic types : waxy, a n d f loury. I g o a l o n g

w i th N ige l Slater's verdict that m a s h is best m a d e f r o m

the f loury varieties, such as Mar is Piper, Des i ree or K ing

Edwards .

Pee l a n d c h o p the po t a toes , then bo i l as usua l .

Dra in the p a n , t h e n put it back o n the heat for a

m i n u t e or so . t h i s extra d ry ing increases f luf f iness. Use

a h a n d m a s h e r to s q u a s h t h e po ta to , t h e n a d d the

extras. I no rma l l y stick in s o m e butter a n d milk. Sur-

pris ingly, mi lk tastes far better t han c r e a m in m a s h . An

alternative is to use ol ive oil instead of the mi lk and but-

ter. A d d i n g c h o p p e d pars ley or basi l m a k e s ano the r

g o o d var ia t ion .

n

A great a c c o m p a n i m e n t for s a u s a g e s a n d m a s h .

O n i o n gravy can have a l m o s t as m u c h f lavour as meat

gravy.

1 large o n i o n

a b o u t SOg butter

ha l f t a b l e s p o o n f lour

quar ter pint o f s tock

Worces t e r sh i r e s a u c e

Salt a n d Peppe r

M e l t t h e but te r in a la rge s a u c e p a n . Pee l and

c h o p the o n i o n . C o o k s lowly w i th a lid for abou t twenty

m inu tes , unti l t he o n i o n g o e s really b r o w n . Stick in the

f lour, t h e n c o o k for a fur ther m i n u t e . A d d the stock

slowly, m ix ing all the t ime . Season w i th salt, peppe r and

Worces t e r sh i r e s a u c e , t hen turn d o w n the heat and

b u b b l e for a fur ther 15.

Next week: Food to impress

���T h e r - e p r + s S ; •j^ Mo£AL . Of \ »

c i u e - f o d a y . • M " J m c > T o e : Y . . . J

- mask- be V V

d

processed, •

o J

e %rs\

e

are a hundred students; • tfi-icA ontv fi£+een �� !"#$%&'() *

* jJf/y 0M6 pri/t/cr *

V0

ff&Tem cm.

? 6

D Y

pgo&AtgL- r feel

.f A U . i M < c T .

5 s 1

l

Ob v i o u s l y I'm g o i n g to h a v e to

say s o m e t h i n g a b o u t I he

e l e c t i o n s . It's g r e a t to s e e so

m a n y p e o p l e s t a n d i n g , I se t m y s e l f a

m a g i c a l n u m b e r o f s e v e n p e o p l e t h a i

I w a n t e d t o s t a n d f o r p r e s i d e n t a l

t h e b e g i n n i n g o f t h e y e a r a n d a n

a v e r a g e o f f o u r a p o s t , s o I'm q u i e t l y

h a p p y . T o n i g h t a n d t h e n e x t t w o

d a y s a r c H u s t i n g s . If y o u h a v e n ' t f o l -

l o w e d a s a b b a l i c a l e l e c t i o n ye t , th i s

is y o u r o p p o r t u n i t y to f i n d o u t w h a t

Ihe c a n d i d a t e s r ea l l y I h ink . H a v i n g

r e a d t h e i r m a n i f e s t o e s a n d f o r m e d

s o m e o p i n i o n , y o u c a n q u e s t i o n

t h e m o n s o m e o f t h e i r i d e a s a n d

m o s t i m p o r t a n t l y m a k e t h e c a n d i -

d a t e s c o m m i t to p o l i c i e s that t h e y

w i l l h a v e to f o l l o w t h r o u g h if t h e y

a r e d u l y e l e c t e d . T h e m o s t l i ke l y s u b -

j ec t to c o m e u p a re t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f

L o n d o n U n i o n , t h e W y e - C o l l e g e

M e r g e r , t h e Be i t Q u a d b a s e m e n t s ,

s u b s i d y l e v e l s ( e s p e c i a l l y t r a i n i n g ) ,

m i n i b u s e s , s p o r t s g r o u n d s , s p o r t s

m e r g e r s ( just in c a s e w e h a v e n ' t

f l o g g e d tha t o n e t o d e a t h ye t ) , s t u -

d e n t d e v e l o p m e n t , t o p u p f e e s , w e l -

fa re c a m p a i g n s a n d Ihe f u l u r e s ty le

o f Fe l ix . A n d if that a l l s o u n d s a bit

b o r i n g to y o u , i t ' s g o i n g l o b e a

p o u n d a p in t in t h e dB ' s H u s t i n g s .

I' ve b e e n g i v e n a s p e c i a l r e q u e s t

by a d r u n k e n s t u d e n t t o w r i t e o u t

the s t a n d a r d l i n e y o u s h o u l d g i v e

to s o m e o n e w h o r e f u s e s v o u a s t u -

d e n t d i s c o u n t j us t b e c a u s e y o u d o n ' t

h a v e a n N U S c a r d . C h a n c e s a r e

t h e y ' r e v a s t l y i g n o r a n t , s o s p e a k

s l o w l y a n d te l l t h e m tha t " I m p e r i a l

C o l l e g e U n i o n is n o t a n a f f i l i a t e d

m e m b e r o f t h e N a t i o n a l U n i o n o f

S t u d e n t s a n d t h e r e f o r e its s t u d e n t s

a re no t e l i g i b l e f o r a n N U S c a r d s . " If

t h i s d o e s n ' t w o r k c o n t i n u e w i t h :

" Imper i a l C o l l e g e is a H i g h e r E d u c a -

t i on C o l l e g e a n d a m e m b e r o f t h e

Un ive rs i t y o f L o n d o n a n d t h e r e f o r e by

d e f i n i t i o n I a m a s t u d e n t a n d e n t i t l e d

to y o u r d i s c o u n t . " If t h e y st i l l r e f u s e

a d d " u n l e s s I a m e n t i t l e d t o y o u r s t u -

d e n t d i s c o u n t y o u a r e f a l s e l y a d v e r -

t i s i n g a n d d e n y i n g m e a n d o t h e r

s t u d e n t s f r o m s u c h U n i v e r s i t i e s a s

E d i n b u r g h , U M I S T a n d G l a s g o w the i r

l ega l r i gh t s . " H o p e f u l l y b y th is t i m e

t h e y ' l l h a v e s e e n s e n s e / g i v e n i n / g o t

b o r e d , a n d y o u s h o u l d r e c e i v e t h e

d i s c o u n t .

On S u n d a y I s p e n t m y d a y d e d -

i c a t e d t o m y U n i o n in t h e

Earls C o u r t E x h i b i t i o n C e n t r e ,

t r y i ng to d i s c o v e r n e w p r o d u c t s tha t

w e m i g h t w a n t in ou r bars ( n o t h i n g t o

d o w i t h the u n i i m -

i t e d a m o u n t o f f r e e _

d r i n k s ) . T h e r e w e r e

a f e w p r o d u c t s t ha t

c a u g h t m y e y e , b u t I

w i t h a lot o f t h e m I

t h e r e w e r e q u i t e 1

la rge o v e r h e a d s a n d

c o m m i t m e n t s t h a t |

w e w o u l d n ' t w a n t to |

i n v e s t in w i t h o u t

c o n f i d e n c e in t h e i r »

m a r k e t a b i l i t y . So w h a t p r o d u c t s d o Bol l

y o u w a n t in I he

b a r s t h a t w e

j p r e s e n t l y d o n ' l sup-

* ply? I can ' t p r o m i s e

a n y l h i n g , but w e ' l l

I h a v e a g o : to start

1 the ba l l r o l l i n g , I'm

1 p a s s i o n a t e a b o u t

s l u s h p u p p i e s ,

e s p e c i a l l y w h e n

[ y o u a d d V o d k a ,

A r c h e s , M a l i b u o r

w h a t d o y o u th i n k ? ( e m a i l

e v e r , a l + , - . / 0 - 1 23 / 4 5 6 4 5 7 8

)

Fi n a l l y , to a l l o f t h o s e s t u d e n t s

w h o d e c i d e d l o f o r m a c o n s o r -

t i u m a n d b u l k e m a i l m e a b o u t

S o u t h Park, I b r i n g g o o d n e w s . II w i l l

b e s h o w n o n t h e b i g s c r e e n in dB 's (if

t h e r o o m h a s n ' l b e e n p r i v a t e l y

b o o k e d ) a n d w e ' l l put the v o l u m e o n

in D a V i n c i ' s if p e o p l e h a v e n o t

a l r e a d y p u t m o n e y in t h e j u k e b o x .

I'll s e e y o u t h e r e .

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n O p e r a t i c S o c i e t y p r e s e n t s

2""

London £ 4

22

on

Joseph

2 s 5

"Valentines

anyone

crayons

fpascale,

'Let's stay immo together

'From now until forever.

'Your desert island

dreamer

5 s 3

4 s 5

ICU President

Dennis Patrickson

Undergraduate

Third Year

Maths Department

' D e n n i s Pat r ickson - w h a t d o e s he w a n t

to do? ' The c rea t ion o f a f ifth sabbat ica l

post - D e p u t y P res ident ( Educa t ion &

Wel fare ) - wi l l free up a lot of the Presi-

dent ' s t ime , l e ad ing to a re-def in ing of

what the President actually does . I w o u l d

l ook to have m o r e o f a f i g u r e h e a d / c o m -

municat i ve role, with the emphas i s firmly

on c o m m u n i c a t i o n .

Ihe extra l ime w o u l d all< m i i<

w o r k hard w i i h Ih u . l is In ,11 e T o i

b reak ii n per ; i |)ti> >n thai th' \ >erw -

next to n > pu ip i is. • I want then Acade-

mic 011 i t e r s a n d l.)ep Reps to have

h igher pro i i l • rid or p e o p l e to be bet-

ter e d u c a t e d a b o u t their pu rpose . S o m e

s tuden t s d o n ' l have a c lue w h o their

D e p Rep or A c a d e m i c Of f i cer is and this

is the pe r son that they cou ld a n d s h o u l d

be c o m p l a i n i n g to w h e n , for e x a m p l e ,

their course Is be ing taught inadequately .

I'd a l so l ike to s e e r egu l a r

r epor t s/pages/co lumns in helix o n w h a t

your U n i o n , your C C U or your c a m p u s is

up to . No t just in Eclix, t h o u g h : o n an

in fo rmat ion no t i ce boa rd in the U n i o n :

oi t h r o u g h in te rna l ma i l ; or as min i-

i j o i t s o n l h i on l\ u n d e r u s e d text ser-

. i i i i he jr.'k ii id U n i o n bu i ld ing . I here

are m a n y w a y s m . m h v- can com-

: w H ( h will

l e ad to m o r e p e o p l e b e i n g be t te r

i n f o r m e d , i n c r eased i n v o l v e m e n t a n d

also he lp to o v e r c o m e f ee l i ngs of iso la-

t ion a n d exc lu s i on that s o m e m e m b e r s

o l the IC c o m m u n i t y may b e expe r i enc-

.

'So - w h y s h o u l d w e vo te for D e n -

nis?' Because I w a n t y o u to k n o w what

your U n i o n , your C C U , your depar tment ,

your c a m p u s , your c lub or soc ie ty is up

to a n d b e c a u s e I w a n t y o u to say what ' s

h a p p e n i n g in t hese areas w h e n it's not

w o r k i n g but a lso w h e n it's w o r k i n g we l l .

Let's let e a c h o the r k n o w wha t ' s g o i n g

o n . 9:;<=> ? @ABCDE?@ :<@ :F

k

Natasha Newton 300 words to say " m o r e o f Ihe g o o d , less

of the bad " , still, if p e o p l e a re w i l l i ng to

read this, here ' s wha t I th ink our U n i o n ' s

priorit ies s h o u l d be .

.

Every report the U n i o n m a k e s w i th in

itself and to the rest o f the s tuden t b o d y

s h o u l d start w i th w h a t is b e i n g d o n e for

us s tudents , h o w w e wi l l bene f i t .

.

The object ives for all activit ies, meet-

ings, etc. s h o u l d be ,

1. s tuden ts

2. s tudents

3. s tudents

4. m o n e y , co l l ege ' s op i n i on . . . .

(give or take legal ity a n d other m ino r

matters) . S imp le examp le , U n i o n p e o p l e

s h o u l d c o n t i n u e h e l p i n g correct b u d -

gets. After all w h i c h s tudents are h e l p e d

if a c lub doesn ' t get its m o n e y .

.

The fac i l i t ies a n d act iv i t ies of the

U n i o n a rc ava i lable l o all o f us and that

n e e d s to be c o m m u n i c a t e d .

N a h , s " t , I a p p e a r to have m e n -

t i o n e d c o m m u n i c a t i o n , here w e

s tandard unrea l p romises yet, yc

year it barely ge l s belter . But for \

w o r t h , he re are my pract ical idea.', in

add i t i on to the obv ious ema i l , l< Ii- and

the U n i o n structure.

K e e p it s imp le ! Like....

The ha rdware : A s a c c o m m o d a t i o n

off icer , I a m , at the m o m e n t , a r r ang ing

m o d e m s a n d PO

s e e i n g

Ihe sa im i

ing halls.

Vi lson I l o u s e a n d

In terna l IC l ines.

; n in other outly-

The in fo : Every w e e k a list o f the

n ii 'o l ings taking place and s o m e contact

|i ; lils n eeds pos t ing on all U n i o n not ice

h o a i d s in le l ix and Stoic text. Ihen if

thi : s s o m e t h i n g lha l may affect y o u ,

u I ia\ e a c h a n c e lo talk to Ihe p e o p l e

l l l o l v e d and f ind out the o u t c o m e .

So thanks for read ing and (this is the

11 ' i o i on ) r e m e m b e r , a v o l e for

. • ' I j! I !• ,I \o l i • jor s lude i i ts ( en

i l i i s i . Con tac t

Clinical Student

Fourth Year

School of Medicine G Pitt

Undergraduate

Second Year

Aeronautics Department

Pr inc ipa l l y , I w a n t t o c rea te a U n i o n

w h e r e y o u have a l a rge say in i h e

c h o i c e s m a d e . I've b e e n ta lk ing to a lot

of s tudents a r o u n d I m p e r i a l e a i d

a n u m b e r of issues have c o n n |g

issues that I wil l address i l 'elet l ed

pos i t i on o f Pres ident .

Research at IC f u n d e d a n d dn

by Shell and BAe is pa id for with the prof-

its m a d e by se l l i ng a rms and e q u i p m e n t

to opp ress i v e r eg imes . The p e o p l e o f

t h e s e c o u n t r i e s have n o say in w h a t

research is d o n e or h o w their o w n lives

are run .

I c o n d e m n the inves tment in c o m -

p a n i e s that c o l l u d e w i t h o p p r e s s i v e

r eg imes . I wil l c a m p a i g n aga inst the

|§§e o f IC a c a d e m i c a c h i e v e m e n t s to

d e u lop arms and f u n d dictators.

I have not met a n y o n e w i th g o o d

things to say about their service Irom the

!w. i s : io . I wi l l devo te as m u c h

; ' as necessary to i m p r o v i n g the wait-

ing l imes and level o f care e x p e r i e n c e d .

I have b e e n invo l ved heav i ly in the

c a m p a i g n aga inst tui t ion fees and have

b e e n a m e m b e r o f ICU Social ist Worke r

S tudent Society for t w o years. I be l i e ve

that the extra £1000 cha rge without pro-

vision for extra personal funding i nduces

real ha rdsh ip for s tudents a n d d iscour-

ages p e o p l e f rom app l y i ng to university.

I w a n t the g o v e r n m e n t to p rov ide free

e d u c a t i o n for all so that all p e o p l e have

access to h igher educa t i on , a n d will con-

t inue to c a m p a i g n for it.

I wi l l e n d e a v o u r to represent your

v i ews a n d w i s h e s if e l e c t ed to the pos i-

t ion o f Pres ident . I w i s h to m a k e the

U n i o n as a p p r o a c h a b l e as poss ib l e and

to m a k e all o f its ac t ions a c c o u n t a b l e to

y o u . A b o v e al l , I w a n t to e n c o u r a g e

pol i t ica l d i s cuss i on a n d activity. I wil l

run the U n i o n ef f ic ient ly , but wan t to

b r o a de n its conce rns b e y o n d the b o u n d -

ar ies o f its day-to-day r u n n i n g .

5 s 5

ICU President

Andy Swiff m

Living and s tudy ing in L o n d o n is b e c o m -

ing increas ingly dif f icult . It is impor tan t ,

as President, to concen t r a t e o n t h e day

to day issues that really affect student life,

as we l l as l o o k i n g into h o w t h e U n i o n

can deve lop into the future. O v e r the last

f e w years Imperial C o l l e g e a n d its U n i o n

have u n d e r g o n e m a n y c h a n g e s . This

t rend is set to con t inue . The m e r g e r w i th

Wye Co l l ege , the r e d e v e l o p m e n t o f Beit

Q u a d and the poss ib le d isaf f i l ia t ion w i th

U L U wi l l b e a m o n g s t the key issues that

wi l l d o m i n a t e m y role as Pres ident .

Over my t ime here at Imperial I have

b e e n invo lved in a mu l t i t ude o f var ied

s tudent activit ies, i n c l u d i n g a DJ at ICU,

to a t eam capta in a n d n o w C lub Presi-

dent o f ICLJ AFC, a n d most impor tant l y

part o f the inaugura l t e a m for the IC

S u m m e r Ball. It is this var ied b a c k g r o u n d

that sets m e apart as t h e best c a n d i d a t e

for the pos i t i on .

As Pres ident , I wi l l m a k e il my key

ob jec t i ve l o e n s u r e that ICU prov ides

you wi th the services you want . A d iv ided

U n i o n benef i t s n o b o d y . A un i t ed U n i o n ,

w h i c h w o r k s t o g e t h e r , can b r ing a b o u t

c h a n g e a n d ge t results. I wan t a U n i o n

w h e r e m a k e a d i f f e rence , a U n i o n

w h e r e o p i n i o n s coun t a n d a U n i o n

that c a n p rog ress into the C e n -

tury.

" Evo lu t ion favours the s t rong , the

smart, the lean , the Swift", so vo te A n d y

in the Pres ident ia l F lec t ion .

Undergraduate

Fourth Year

ISE Department

Shanaka

Undergraduate

Second Year

Materials Department

The key to b e i n g a success fu l p res ident

d e p e n d s o n trust, hard work , po l i c ies

a n d two-way c o m m u n i c a t i o n . I a m not

h a p p y t o b e a l o w pro f i l e p r e s iden t ;

s o m e o n e y o u never really see, a loo f and

d e t a c h e d f r o m the real life at IC. I wil l

get fully invo l ved a n d give y o u my sup-

port.

If y o u vo te for m e , y o u vote for;

.

• Ge t d i s coun t s w i th your ICU cards

• P r ime ob jec t i ve : to get s tudent d is-

c o u n t in c i n e m a s (Not just NUS ) J

• Inc lude all t h e c a m p u s e s for these dis-

coun ts .

.

• O r g a n i s e ch e ape r in ternat iona l p h o n e

calls t h r o u g h the U n i o n .

.

• Support for a 3rd te rm m e d i c a l sab-

bat ica l .

• Push for re laxat ion of hybr id entry at

BUSA for med i c a l t e ams .

. CCU'S

• Encou rage m o r e activity to e n h a n c e

CC1J ident i ty

Ever s ince c o m i n g to IC, I have b e e n

h e \ily invo lved in the U n i o n . I k n o w

j f r o w it works . I a m an exce l lent com-

f m u n i c a t o r a n d wi l l be ab l e to speak o n

j y o u r b e h a l f This year the re a re s e v e n

p e o p l e s t and ing for the top j o b ! M o r e

l han any other year your vote; counts .

I have been STOIC chair, a m I'hoenix

ed i tor , I a m a m e m b e r o f the U n i o n

f i n a n c e c o m m i t t e e , m e m b e r of the ser-

v ices c o m m i t t e e a n d I w o r k (and play) in

the U n i o n .

You can't a f fo rd lo g o for Ihe w i ld

card . I a m re l iable , ready to l isten and

ready to act. I p r o m i s e y o u that I wil l give

e ve r y o u n c e o f m y s t r e n g t h , e ve r y

m o m e n l of m y l i m e to e n s u r e y o u have

the best u n i o n in the count ry . All I n e e d

is your v o l e .

Vo te 1 - Vo te S h a n a k a

If y o u have any issues y o u are c o n -

c e r n e d w i t h p l e a se contac t m e :

m

7

n Polounovsky« I c o m e to these e l e c t i ons unsu l l i ed by

the bureaucrat ic canker of U n i o n polit ics.

It m igh t b e t rue that I k n o w less a b o u t

h o w the u n i o n is run than m a y b e s o m e

other cand ida tes but this a l l ows m e to

see the U n i o n not as it is but h o w it

s h o u l d be .

The un ion is like an o ld f r i end to m e .

I have b e e n t r a m p l e d into its foo tba l l

p i tch, d i s m e m b e r e d in its kung-fu class,

h u n t ed d o w n by its a rchery c l ub a n d

chased o f f its s tages . It has f e d , w a t e r e d

and en te r t a i ned m e , but recent ly I have

b e c o m e d i s e n c h a n t e d as m y o ld f r i end

has b e c o m e e n g u l f e d in a mi re o f red-

tape (if y o u d o u b t m e just l ook at t h e

rules c o n c e r n i n g e l e c t i on c a m p a i g n s ) .

M e a n w h i l e , Imperia l Col lege: has

g a i n e d a repu ta t ion for its qual i ty, su ch

that w e arc: s e e n to rival a n d even sur-

pass O x f o r d a n d C a m b r i d g e . It there-

fore gal ls m e to s e e h o w shor t-changed

w e are. A C a m b r i d g e d e g r e e is c o n s i d -

e red in the s a m e light as o n e f rom Impe-

rial, yet theirs is a reputa t ion hunt >n

s e v e n m o r e w e e k s of ho l iday than us.

This is hardly fair. What is m o r e my short

vaca t ions are s q u a n d e r e d , a n d va luab le

rev is ion t i m e w a s t e d for w a n t of g o o d

lecture no tes a n d the a b s e n c e o f freely

ava i lab le m o d e l e x a m i n a t i o n so lu t ions .

W h i c h is just like b e i n g g i v en a lock but

n o key. To i m p r o v e this s i tuat ion , I pro-

p o s e a n e w a n d i m p r o v e d sys tem of

d e p a r t m e n t a l r e p r e s e n t a t i v e s , w h o

w o u l d w o r k h a n d in h a n d w i th the U n i o n

to g ive y o u a greater say in the con ten t

of your courses . I his is particularly impor-

tant w i th Ihe arrival o f the: tu i t ion fees

(wh i ch I a m bitterly o p p o s e d to), as y o u

a n d the re fo re you r f inanc ia l i nves tment

s h o u l d b e g i ven the best c o n d i t i o n s in

w h i c h to f lour i sh .

As a final w o r d : e v e n if y o u don ' t

v o l e for m e m a k e su re y o u v o l e .

P lease don ' t be (a)pathetic.

Undergraduate

Third Year

Chem Eng Department

6 s 1 5

DP & Services) H Walker Wel l hel lo , I'm Bob Walker and I'm stand-

ingfor a Depu ty President (Finance & Ser-

vices) a n d this is my man i f e s to . I'm a

Third year Physics S tudent w h o has d o n e

so m a n y th ings for the u n i o n so far. In

my first year I w a s c o m p l e t e l y apathet i c

a n d d id very little. In m y s e c o n d year,

h o w e v e r , I b e c a m e invo lved by b e c o m -

i n g t h e D u p l i c a t i n g O f f i c e r (I w a s in

cha rge o l ki prndi i< ' ! U>\ Ihe liC Si

So, in m y Ih-

President (C lubs & Enterta inment ) a n d

Undergraduate

Third Year

Physics Department

Treasurer f<

got

W h y d e

I w a s ' \ i!

vvhili v\hi'

ih • .'o-i i

r severa l clui is fhat's h o w I

I thinl I shi iuld have the job?

n s i den l of the RCSU for a

h m i -ant I got to see a lot o f

f o f the u n i o n at the h ighes t

levels, ie the Execut ive C o m m i t t e e . A n d

at the s a m e t ime b e i n g invo lved w i th

f i nances for several c lubs I have had the

expe r i en c e at a lower level . This m e a n s

I a m aware of the n o o k s a n d c rann ies o f

the sys tem. 1 his m e a n s I can turn Dog-

catcher and k n o w the tricks of the trade.

I a lso fee l that g i ven m y extens ive use of

the 1 inton's Services the Bars, Ca te r ing

arid ihe s h o p put' m e in a u n i q u e situ-

at ion to pi il ,i( i' i ss il i' i nden t s point o l

\ t 'W ol it i ! s i : services.

i get e l e c t ed

lo I ii pu l i P r e s idd t H v • \ Services):

1. M a k e m o i i \n np|. j u u t e o | h o w to

d o th ings .

1 I

Un ion ' s F inances

3. S tand up to c o l l e g e if they try to put

us the s tuden t s d o w n

. M a k e sure the Beit R e d e v e l o p m e n t

runs s m o o t h l y .

5. See h o w w e c a n i m p r o v e the serv ices

run by the u n i o n for y o u .

So to s u m m a r i s e I wan t to d o the

best for t h e u n i o n !

IanYou m a y a sk w h y y o u s h o u l d v o t e for

Ian C l i f f o r d .

F i rst ly , I h a v e e x p e r i e n c e o f t h e

U n i o n f i n a n c e s y s t e m . A s t r e a s u r e r

o f t h e C i t y & G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n I

w o r k w i t h c l u b s & s o c i e t i e s , a s s i s t i n g

t h e m w i t h b u d g e t s , c l a i m s a n d

u n r a v e l l i n g r e d t a p e . I h a v e f a c e d

t h e d r e a d e d U n i o n b u d g e t i n g

r o u n d s a n d w o n . I h a v e p r e p a r e d

t h e f i n a n c e s o f t h e C & G U as a

w h o l e . I k n o w h o w t h e U n i o n r u n s

f r o m a c l u b f i n a n c e s i d e a s w e l l a s

t h e s e r v i c e s s i d e .

S e c o n d l y , I h a v e b e e n a s t u d e n t

at I m p e r i a l f o r f i v e y e a r s a n d a

m e m b e r o f s e v e r a l c l u b s i n c l u d i n g

t h e M o u n t a i n e e r i n g C l u b , P i m l i c o

C o n n e c t i o n a n d t h e C a t h o l i c S o c i -

e t y . I w o r k in t h e U n i o n R e s o u r c e

C e n t r e , h e l p i n g b o t h s t u d e n t s a n d

u n i o n s t a f f - I w i l l b e as a p p r o a c h -

a b l e a s a s a b b a t i c a l l i ke I a m as a

m e m b e r o f s ta f f . P e r s o n a l c o n t a c t

a n d i n t e r e s t is i m p o r t a n t in e s t a b -

l i s h i n g a g o o d w o r k i n g r e l a t i o n s h i p .

N e x t y e a r I a i m t o :

• I n c r e a s e c o m m u n i c a t i o n s & t r a i n -

i n g w i t h t r e a s u r e r s

• O p e n u p t h e u n i o n to m o r e s t u -

d e n t s

• R e f o r m f u n d i n g , p a y m e n t s a n d

s t a n d a r d i s e s u b s i d i e s

Undergraduate

Fourth Year

Electrical Eng Department

Paul Hickman

Undergraduate

Fourth Year

Chemistry Department

I a m current ly in m y four th year at Impe-

rial, a n d in m y t i m e here my invo lve-

m e n t in the U n i o n has g r o w n f r o m

ex tens i ve use o f the bar faci l i t ies to my

current i n v o l v em en t w h i c h inc ludes sit-

t ing o n the U n i o n H o u s e C o m m i t t e e . I

a m a lso an active c o m m i t t e e m e m b e r of

the Dramat i c Society, w h i c h has g i ven

m c the chance to work closely w i th m an y

c l ubs a n d s o c i e t i e s t h r o u g h o u t the

U n i o n . I have part icular ly en j o ye d work-

ing as part of the t eam for U n i o n Carn i-

va ls a n d t h e S u m m e r Ba l l . T h e s e

activit ies, a l o n g w i th k e e p i n g m y ear to

t h e g r o u n d , ha ve g i v e n m c a g o o d

k n o w l e d g e of the w a y the U n i o n is run .

I be l i e ve the U n i o n ' s t rad ing out le ts a re

vital for it to c o n t i n u e to p rov ide the ser-

vices w e all expect of it, wh i l e e x p a n d i n g

to p rov ide new a n d i m p r o v e d serv ices

I expec t to e n c o u n t e r s o m e m i n o r p rob-

l e m s w i th Ihe c o n t i n u e d merge r of the

M e d i c a l s c h o o l , h o w e v e r I be l i e ve I wi l l

be ab le to deal w i th these, in con junc t ion

w i th t h e o ther sabbat ica ls , b a s e d o n the

pr inc ip le that all c lubs s h o u l d be t rea ted

equal ly .

Next year I i n tend to :

• Prov ide t ra in ing for all c lubs of f icers to

ensure f inances are run properly at all lev-

els.

• Improve U n i o n serv i ces by e n s u r i n g

the results o f the current f o cus g r o u p s

are i m p l e m e n t e d , w h e r e poss ib le . If this

project is success fu l t h e n I wi l l l o o k into

e x t e n d i n g it.

• Ensure that t h e po l i cy o n subs idy lev-

els is a p p l i e d fairly to all c lubs and soc i-

et ies .

Overa l l I f ee l I a m c a p a b l e o f d o i n g

the j o b we l l , a n d I w o u l d a l so like to do

t h e j o b . I be l i e ve m y e x p e r i e n c e s wil l

a l l ow m c to pick up the day-to-day tasks

rapidly a n d t h e n get o n w i th real w o r k

that n e e d s to be d o n e to g ive us all the

U n i o n w e want .

5 s 7

DP

TimNext year wi l l b e o n e of t h e mos t cha l -

l eng ing years f a ced by the DP (C&S). Ail

c l ubs a n d s o c i e t i e s a re f a c i n g a n

upheava l o f o n e k ind or ano the r . M a n y

o f the soc ie t i es b a s e d in Sou th Kens-

ing ton wi l l b e a c q u i r i n g n e w faci l i t ies

courtesy of the U n i o n s e x p a n s i o n into

w h a t w a s unt i l r e cen t l y the B i o l o g y

depa r tmen t , but p robab l y the b igges t

c loud still h a n g i n g over the h e a d o f next

years DP (C&S) wi l l b e the ICSM m e r g e r

issue. What w i th t h e ICSMRFC h a v i n g

s h o w n t h e m s e l v e s t o b e a f o r ce t o b e

reckoned w i th it is n o w as impera t i v e as

ever that the u n i q u e identity o f ICSM and

ICU t e a m s is p r e se r ved . A s a m e m b e r o f

the ICU Hockey C lub Exec and as a re-app

(in a hall c on t a i n i ng m a n y med ics ) I have

b e e n we l l p l a ced over this past year to

obse r v e w h a t y o u wan t f r om your c lubs

a n d soc ie t ies . I be l i eve that it is essent ia l

that next years DP (C&S) is s o m e o n e

w i th a great d e a l o f k n o w l e d g e c o n -

ce rn i ng the m e r g e r a n d the pos i t ion that

mos t spo r t i ng c lubs at Imperial wil l face

over the next 18 m o n t h s . A n y b o d y tak-

ing over as DP (C&S) w h o doesn ' t have

a firm b a c k g r o u n d wi th in a spor t ing c lub

w o u l d not h a w l l i i ' a h i l i l , lo tc |)li ,< ;:i

y o u a n d you r U n i o n app rop r i a t e l y to

o rgan i sa t i ons s u c h as BUSA a n d U L U .

I be l i e ve that I ha\< got the neces-

sary g r o u n d i n g w i th in the spo r t i ng fra-

ternity to repn -sent t h e m wel l a l o n g wi th

the ii i-sin to l isten to and s u p p o r l the:

other c lubs and societ ies . It is these qual-

ities a l o n g wi th a pass ionate des ire to d o

this j ob , and d o it we l l , that w o u l d m a k e

m e an exce l lent c and ida t e for the j o b -

so vo te for m e for DP (C&S)!

vilal release: f rom sludy, a c h a n c e lo play

their sport, to deve l op their interests and

general ly have a spank ing g o o d t ime, the

U n i o n must be fair a n d suppor t i ve . The

d e v e l o p m e n t o f a n e w r e l a t i o n s h i p

b e t w e e n the m e d i c a l s c h o o l s a n d t h e

rest of IC is in full s w i n g bu l there are

b o u n d to b e m o r e issues to address .

C o n c e r n s recent ly vo i c ed by Kash Akhtar

r e g a r d i n g f u n d i n g for t ransport a re a

g o o d e x a m p l e , a n d w e must real ise that

we ' r e n o w a t e a m a n d n e e d to w o r k

t o g e l h e r to o v e r c o m e s u c h p r o b l e m s . A

s t rong f o u n d a t i o n for hea l th a n d safety

po l icy has b e e n built over the last f e w

years a n d I i n t end l o c o n t i n u e b u i l d i n g

a sys tem that prov ides peace of m i n d for

all c o n c e r n e d . I a i m to suppor t soc ie t ies

by p roac t i ve r e p r e s e n t a t i o n - ta i lo r ing

pol icy to try a n d m e e t everybody 's needs

a n d c r e a t i n g act ive r e l a t i onsh ips w i th

c lubs a n d t h e c o m m i t t e e s w h o m a n a g e

t h e m . T h r o u g h g o o d c o m m u n i c a t i o n I

can f ight for wha t the majori ty of u n i o n

m e m b e r s wan t . G i ve m c your vo te a n d

I'll g ive y o u a 1 1 0 % c o m m i t m e n t to rep-

resen t i ng you r interests.

Duncan

Undergraduate

Third Year

Geology Department

I've b e e n Involved In ICU for four years,

ma in l y t h r o u g h D r a m s o c , w i th w h o m I

spent a year as Di rector of Ac t i ng , a n d

the Env i ronmenta l Society wh i ch I he lped

to set u p in 1996.1 have g o o d o rgan i sa-

t iona l skills, c o m b i n e d w i th an under-

s t a n d i n g of the w o r k i n g s of the U n i o n

a n d a s t rong c o m m i t m e n t to its ideology,

g iv ing m e the tools I n e e d for the job . I'm

soc iab le , a p p r o a c h a b l e a n d w i l l i ng to try

(a lmost) any th i ng o n c e , but most impor-

tantly I offer a safe pair o f hands in wh i ch

to en t rus t C&S p o l i c y (Dav id S e a m a n

un fo r tuna te l y b e i n g unava i lab le ) .

C lubs a n d Soc ie t ies are the f o u n d a -

t ion o f t h e U n i o n but if they arc: t o c o n -

t inue p r o v i d i n g their m e m b e r s w i th that

Hustings

H u s t i n g s t ake p l a c e t o d a y ( M o n d a y ) in

dBs , t o m o r r o w in t h e R e y n o l d ' s Bar at

C h a r i n g C r o s s a n d o n W e d n e s d a y in

G l adys St M a r y ' s . M o n d a y a n d T u e s -

da y ' s h u s t i n g s start at W e d n e s -

day 's at Hus t i ngs are y o u r c h a n c e

to ask t h e c a n d i d a t e s a b o u t t h e i s sues

that c o n c e r n y o u . Each c a n d i d a t e a n d

thei r p r o p o s e r w i l l g i v e a shor t s p e e c h ,

a f te r w h i c h q u e s t i o n s w i l l b e t a k e n

f r o m t h e f l oo r . T h e c a n d i d a t e s are no r-

ma l l y r e q u i r e d l o c o n s u m i • enic br c i

at h i g h s p e e d , e s p e c i a l l y at t h e :

M a r y ' s h u s t i n g s . At t h e S o u t h K e r

i n g t o n h u s t i n g s b e e r w i l l b e a v a i l a b l e

for a p o u n d a p in t .

T o v o t e y o u w i l l n e e d y o u r

ca rd - if y o u have yet t o ge t a U n i o n

c a r d , t ake y o u r r eg i s t r a t i on ce r t i f i c a t e

a n d a p a s s p o r t p h o t o t o t h e U n i o n

o f f i c e d u r i n g t h e d a y t i m e . G o to a ba l-

lot b o x ( t h e r e w i l l b e o n e in m o s t

d e p a f t r l e n t s , in t h e U n i o n foyer a n d at

the; m e d i c a l c a m p u s e s ) . ICU e l e c t i o n s

u s e a s i n g l e t r a n s f e r a b l e v o t e system,-

p l a c e a T next l o the c a n d i d a t e of

y o u r c h o i c e , a ' 2 ' next to y o u r s e c o n d

c h o i c e , a n d s o o n . Y o u fill in a s e p a r a l e

v o t i n g s l ip for e a c h s a b b a t i c a l p o s i -

t i on y o u w a n t to v o t e for. N e w E lec t ion

( s o m e t i m e s c a l l e d R o n , w h i c h s t a n d s

for r e o p e n n o m i n a t i o n s ) is c o n s i d e r e d

a c a n d i d a t e just l ike the ' r e a l ' c a n d i -

d a t e s , b u t s t a n d s f o r a l l p o s i t i o n s .

S h o u l d N e w E l e c t i on w i n , t h e e l e c to ra l

p r o c e s s starts al l o v e r a g a i n .

V o t i n g t a k e s p l a c e n ex t M o n d a y

a n d T u e s d a y (22 a n d 23 F e b r u a r y )

b e t w e e n 1 0 a m a n d 5 p m .

Stuart

8 s 5

DP

g Butcher

Postgraduate

Second Year

Biochemistry Department

Final ly ICU has c r e a t e d a s abba t i c a l

r e spons ib l e for e d u c a t i o n and we l fa re . I

feel con f iden t in t ak ing on an u n d e f i n e d

ro le a n d c r e a t i n g a j o b d e s c r i p t i o n -

e n c o m p a s s i n g all aspec ts o f e d u c a t i o n

a n d we l f a re .

S ince c o m i n g to Imperial as a post-

g radua te s tudent I've b e e n invo lved in

the u n i o n chait o f Imperial Q u e e r s and

SCC treasurer this year. Pi lo re Imperial

I w a s invo l vco w i th < tubs of C h i o r n and

Abe r v s i ' • h end wa , a w . lunU i r lor

O x f o r d Nit

g i ven rise I

t on ing si ill

ily and I ii

(F&W).

I have

in tend to w o r k o n the we l f a r e c o m m i t -

tee's j ob desc r ip t ion . Ihis wi l l be in c o n -

sul ta t ion wi th all the relevant U n i o n a n d

C o l l e g e c o m m i t t e e s ( A c c o m m o d a t i o n ,

wel fare , A c a d e m i c Affairs, Student Deve l-

o p m e n t etc.) the current s abbs a n d var-

i ous c o l l e g e o f f i c e r s ( i n c l u d i n g t h e

Pro-Rector for Educat iona l Qual i ty ) .

S e cond l y I in tend to ask as m a n y o f

ihe i &VV sabbs across the country abou t

tbi i roi i : , theineot : ' i n s a n d h o p e s . T h e

l i <i< woi ild : o i m p l c t e d be fo re the

itiitte Ihis i \perii o n has

e e a r y mot i va t ion , lis-

p e o p l e skills, approachab i l-

ie en l l equ i r ed lor DP

t h r e e m a i n a i m s . Firstly I

this base , I wil l

as poss ib le . DP(E&WI

m a n y p e o p l e as pi

aware of the educat ic

m w i th

i t u d e n t s

best if as

e m a d e

fare brief

and it t h e j o b is ta i lo red to the n e e d s of

the s tudents . I w o u l d unde r t ake a r egu-

lar sec t i on in Felix a n d the C C U papers .

A w a r e n e s s even ts (about t w o per term)

wi l l c o i n c i d e w i th s tuden ts expe r i en ce s

( eg a c c o m m o d a t i o n w e e k w h e n s tu-

den ts a re t h i n k i n g a b o u t h o u s i n g , a sex-

ual hea l th w e e k to c o i n c i d e w i th Wor ld

AIDS Day, a stress buster to co in c ide (as

c lose as possible) w i th exams and a m e n -

tal hea l th w e e k . I h o p e to c o n v i n c e C C U

of f i cers a n d the d e p reps to ensu re that

s tuden t r ep resen ta t i on is fair and a d e -

qua te ac ross all d epa r tm en t s .

FelixDavid Roberts m

Felix is the pr imary sou rce o f i n fo rmat ion

for s tudents at Imperia l , s o it's vital that

it presents e n o u g h mater ia l for s tuden t s

to reach their o w n op in ions o n key issues

- whilst the repor t ing itself r e m a i n s u n b i -

ased. To this e n d , I'll i n t roduce regular In-

dep th f ea tu res o n t h e ma jo r s t u d e n t

issues - like ULU , fees and Co l l ege e x p a n -

s ion - so that e v e r y o n e has a c h a n c e to

u n d e r s t a n d w h a t ' s really g o i n g o n .

Proper d i s semina t i on of Informat ion a lso

m e a n s p rope r d i s t r ibut ion , s o I'll e n s u r e

that Felix hits every c a m p u s o n the s a m e

day, a n d a p p e a r s o n t h e w e b eve r y

week .

C lubs a n d soc ie t i es s h o u l d have t h e

oppor tun i t y to tell e v e r y o n e wha t t hey

do . Consequen t l y , I'll p rov ide space for

every c lub to wr i te rev iews of events or

p r e v i e w u p c o m i n g act iv i ty . S imi lar ly ,

sports c o v e r a g e n e e d s to be i m p r o v e d ,

w i th a ded i c a t e d t e a m of reporters and

p h o t o g r a p h e r s to cover ma tches at Har-

l ington, C o b h a m and Tedd ing ton . Finally,

bo th ICU and the Const i tuent Co l l ege

U n i o n s s h o u l d b e g i ven space to r epo r t :

on their activit ies and justify thei

- thus m a k i n g our representat ives mo i

a c c o u n t a b l e .

Felix is a c lub , a n d like any other a l

Imper ia l must be o p e n lo all \s

IS IS wi 0 w.lhili |\ I

Freshers Week ) there n e e d ' 1 • be m o r e

f r e e d o m for p e o p l e to wri te occas iona l

art icles, f ea tures or short stories, rather

t han h a v i n g to ded i ca te their lives to the

n e w s p a p e r . I'll a l so have w e e k l v m ee t -

ings at St Mary ' s a n d C h a r i n g Cross , to

e n s u r e as w i d e a r ange of con t r ibu to rs

as poss ib le .

I be l ieve that these ( h a n g e s are nec-

ess,n\ to ensu re that i e l i x ma in ta ins its

role as the; n e w s p a p e r for the s tuden ts

/ the s tudents , and hav ing b e e n

invo l ved for Ihe best part o f three years

- as a writer, rev iewer , Adve r t i s i ng M a n -

ager , I i lm Editor, and n o w Assistant Edi-

tor - I h a , i the abi l i ty l o put t h e s e

. 1' e... inii • pi i.' Ii; e.

Undergraduate

Third Year

Physics Department

Standing ForNew Election

Ok. N o w N e w Elect ion, or R e - o p e l |

N o m i n a t i o n s ( R O N ) a l l o w s y o u to

express you r dissat isfact ion w i th the can-

didates p resen ted to y o u . So if y o u don ' t

l ike the current c and ida t e s w e can s e e

if m o r e wi l l s tand .

Now. . . this is not a dec i s i o n to b e

taken l ightly. Wil l any better c and ida t e s

stand? A very impor tan t q u e s t i o n to ask

a n d o n e y o u wi l l a l so have to answer

your self. I sugges t y o u c o m e a l o n g to

e Hus t ings if poss ib le a n d c o m p a r e

p e o p l e . O t h e r w i s e read the man i f e s to s

a n d speak to pe op l e . A b o v e all m a k e an

i n f o r m e d d e c i s i o n .

R O N has a lways b e e n a p o p u l a r

c h o i c e w i th the s tudents o f Imperial , t he

reasons w h y are obv ious . This cand ida te

is not s t a n d i n g o n any p la t fo rm a n d has

n o h i d d e n a g e n d a s to ful f i l . In fact R O N

is the on l y c and ida t e y o u can fully trust.

A l so it k e e p s the m as s es e n t e r t a i n e d

w i th t h o s e we l l-a t tended 2nd r o u n d o f

e l e c t i ons .

O f c o u r s e th is next yea r is very

impor tan t for bo th the U n i o n a n d the

w o r l d . M a y b e it c o u l d be that R O N is the

per fec t c a n d i d a t e to lead us all into the

n e w m i l l e n n i u m ?!?

I F Y O U D O N ' T A S K

Y O U D O N ' T G E T . . .

iCU SABBATICAL ELECTIONS

HUSTINGS y

y

y

VOTING y

y

S

. . . G E T W H A T IS B E S T

F O R Y O U R U N I O

0 5

Reviews

sg

:

Kate

Kate W ins l e t ' s first m o v i e a f te r

Titanic o u g h t to be a mass i v e

b lockbuster , for w h i c h she ' l l pock-

et several m i l l i on , right? W r o n g - it's a

l ow budge t Brit Flick, w h i c h a i m s to a p e

the success o f Saharan set r o m a n c e s

like The English Patient. Hideous Kinky

conta ins e l e m e n t s o f a t h o u s a n d dif fer-

ent British mov i es , all t ied t o g e t h e r in a

seventies-set, retro-styled p a c k a g e .

Yet desp i te the obv ious l y p r o m i s i n g

p r e m i s e , it 's pa i n fu l to w a t c h . N e v e r

be fore has a 96 m i n u t e m o v i e m a n a g e d

to feel so l ong - we ' r e ta lk ing Dances With

Wolves levels o f n u m b i n g t e d i u m . The

c i nema tog raphy is u n den i ab l y g o o d , but

whilst the first f e w p a n o r a m i c s w e e p s

across the M o r o c c a n waste lands p roduce

a sense o f a w e , t h e sevent ie th ident ica l

shot s imply serves to m a k e y o u aware o f

h o w static t h e m o v i e actual ly is.

The real p r o b l e m , h ow ev e r , is the

s imp le lack o f plot. As the m o v i e o p e n s ,

Winslet is s t rugg l ing t o . m a k e e n d s m e e t

in Ma r rakesh , hav ing left her upper-class

English or ig ins b e h i n d her w h e n her hus-

band deser ted her. So, s h e sc rapes a liv-

ing by se l l ing dol ls in the market , whi ls t

s imultaneously a t tempt ing to br ing up her

t w o ch i ld ren , p layed by Riza a n d M u l l a n

- w h o s e favourite words are (according to

t h e press notes ) ' h i d e o u s ' a n d 'kinky' .

However , despite an outward pretence of

happ ines s , n o n e o f t h e m are happy -

until he lp arrives in the f o rm o f the mys-

ter ious T a g h m a o u l - p lay ing a char ismat ic

loca l w o r k e r ca l l ed Bilal ... a n d that ' s

about it. They travel back and forth across

Ind is t ingu ishab le plots o f desert (unti l

y o u lose all interest in w h e r e they ac tu-

ally are), los ing and f i nd ing e a c h other in

an ent i re ly p red ic tab le way, but, in a nut-

she l l , that 's t h e ent i re plot.

Indeed , so uneven t fu l is the mov i e

that the on ly ques t i on it raises is w h y

Wins let c h o s e to m a k e it at al l . (True, she

met her h u s b a n d James Threap le ton on

set, but s h e w a s hardly to k n o w that

w h e n she s i g n e d the contract) . If It's an

a t tempt to avo id typecas t ing , t hen it's a

d a m n g o o d o n e - but it's a lso a pretty fast

route to b e i n g ent irely fo rgo t ten by Ho l-

l y w o o d . I ndeed , fans o f Winslet, queen-

of-costume-drama (Titanic, Hamlet, Jude,

Sense & Sensibility) wil l hardly recogn ise

the w e a t h e r e d , t a n n e d actress they see

o n sc reen .

N o n e t h e l e s s , she (and i n d e e d all o f

the o ther stars) still turn in decent , c o m -

petent p e r f o r m a n c e s . Yet n o n e of t h e m

d o a n y t h i n g m o r e ; t he basic p r o b l e m

w i th Hideous Kinky is that it conta ins

n o t h i n g that br ings the screen to light.

Hav ing secu red a star a n d a nice location,

the p r o d u c t i o n c r e w s e e m to have shut-

up s h o p a n d d e c i d e d that any more work

w o u l d b e s u p e r f l u o u s . A n d sadly, t he

box-off ice rece ipts wi l l probably bear out

that dec i s i on , fl

Dave

Ag

:

Mo v i e s b a s e d o n S a t u r d a y

N i g h t Live s k e t c h e s t e n d t o

b e s o m e w h a t h i t a n d m i s s .

W e ' v e h a d t h e b r i l l i a n t (Wayne's

World, Blues Brothers) a n d t h e d i s m a l

(Coneheads, It's Pat). M a n y o f t h e

stars t h e m s e l v e s h a v e g o n e o n t o

b e c o m e m e m b e r s o f t h e H o l l y w o o d

e l i te ( D a n A c k r o y d , Bi l ly C r ys t a l , M i k e

M y e r s e t c ) . So is A Night at the

Roxbury in t h e s a m e l e a g u e ? Er, n o .

De f i n i t e l y , a b s o l u t e l y , p o s i t i v e l y no t .

Let 's l o o k at t h e e v i d e n c e . Firstly,

it 's b a s e d a r o u n d t h e A m e r i c a n c l u b

s c e n e . N o w , If t h i s m o v i e h a s a n y

s e n s e o f a c c u r a c y at a l l . It's n o t h i n g

l ike it is h e r e - a n d c o n s e q u e n t l y Fer-

rell a n d Ka t t an ' s g e e k y b e h a v i o u r s i m -

ply d o e s n ' t t r ans f e r . S e c o n d l y , w e ' v e

s e e n th is k i n d o f t h i n g a m i l l i o n t i m e s

b e f o r e - jus t c h e c k o u t t h e m o r n i n g

s c h e d u l e o n C h a n n e l Fou r d u r i n g t h e

s c h o o l ho l i day s . Third ly , a n d m o s t c o n -

clusively , l o o k at t h e s o u n d t r a c k l i s t ing :

W h e r e d o y o u g o m y l o v e l y (No

Mercy), D i s c o I n f e r n o (Cyndi Lauper),

"What

P o p M u z i k (3rd Party) - a n d a b o v e al l

th i s , t h e r e c u r r i n g t h e m e o f 'Wha t is

Love ' by Haddaway. Al l o f w h i c h w o u l d

b e O K if th i s w a s se t in s o m e k i n d o f

k i t s ch , 80 's ret ro w o r l d - but it isn ' t , it 's

p r e s e n t day . P l e a s e G o d , n o .

U l t imate l y , h o w e v e r , t h e real p r o b -

l e m w i t h A Night at the Roxbury is

tha t it s i m p l y i sn ' t f u n n y . O n l y o n c e

d u r i n g t h e e n t i r e f i l m d i d t h e p r e v i e w

a u d i e n c e l a u g h (if y o u d o n ' t i n c l u d e

t h e s t i f l e d g u f f a w s e ve r y t i m e Had-

daway s t a r t e d t o play ) - a n d that w a s

w h e n it b e c a m e a p p a r e n t tha t t h e

en t i r e f ina l s c e n e h a d b e e n l i f ted f r o m

Jerry Maguire. T h e p r o b l e m m a y w e l l

b e tha t t h e h u m o u r d o e s n ' t t r ans l a t e ;

or m a y b e w e s u f f e r b e c a u s e hard ly

a n y o n e in t h e U K w a t c h e s Saturday

Night Live (just i m a g i n e a US a u d i -

e n c e g o i n g to s e e a m o v i e v e r s i o n o f

a Har ry E n f i e l d s k e t c h ) . M o r e l ike ly ,

h o w e v e r , is tha t i t 's d u e t o t h e c o m -

m o n p r o b l e m o f t r y i n g t o f o r c e t w o

m i n u t e s o f m a t e r i a l i n to n i n e t y m i n -

u tes o f c e l l u l o i d .

W h a t e v e r t h e a n s w e r is, h o w e v e r ,

t h e ne t resu l t r e m a i n s t h e s a m e - a

c o m e d y tha t y o u ' l l l a u g h at, no t w i t h .

A n d tha t ' s A Night at the Roxburys

o n e s a v i n g g r a c e - it 's s o p h e n o m e -

na l l y b a d tha t it 's f u n n y . B r i ng b a c k

C h e v y C h a s e , a l l is f o r g i v e n . Q

Dave

5

Reviews & Competition

kg

:

Oh dea r , e v e r y t h i n g s e e m s t o

h a v e g o n e w r o n g s o m e -

w h e r e . Just w h e n y o u th ink

H o l l y w o o d is g e t t i n g its act t o g e t h e r

a n d ac tua l l y m a k i n g s o m e ha l f -decen t

m o v i e s for o n c e , s o m e t h i n g c o m e s

a l o n g to r e a f f i r m y o u r f a i t h in

H o l l y w o o d ' s fata l f l aws . In th is c a se ,

it 's Jack a m o v i e w h i c h b a s e s

itself o n t h e p r e m i s e o f (b race y o u r -

self) a m a n ca l l ed Jack f ros t b e i n g

r e i n c a r n a t e d as a s n o w m a n , a n d

g i ven o n e last c h a n c e to r e d e e m h i m -

sel f in t h e e y e s o f h is s o n .

First t h i n g s f irst , h o w e v e r . D e s p i t e

the h i d e o u s e t h o s b e h i n d t h e m o v i e ,

K e a t o n , P r e s t o n a n d A d d y {The Full

Monty) put in f i n e p e r f o r m a n c e s , a n d

the father-son r e l a t i o n s h i p is su rp r i s-

ing ly c h e e s e - f r e e . S u r p r i s i n g l y , h o w -

ever, t h e S n o w m a n i tse l f is d i r e . W h a t

s h o u l d have b e e n a d i sp l a y o f CGI w i z -

ardry tu rns o u t to b e a l o w - b u d g e t tas-

tic o u t i n g for t h e t r a d i t i o n a l

b loke-in-a-foam-sui t . We l l m a d e a n d

p r o f e s s i o n a l as t h e rest o f t h e m o v i e

m a y l o o k (w i th s o m e nea t l y c h o r e o -

g r a p h e d s k i c h a s e s a n d s h o w - b a l l

fights), y o u can ' t get a w a y f r o m the fact

1

His

that t h e l e a d cha rac t e r is w e a r i n g t h e

k i n d o f c o s t u m e u s u a l l y f o u n d in

s c h o o l p a n t o m i m e s . K idd ies m o v i e yes,

but Toys R Us c o s t u m e s ? I t h i n k not .

D e s p i t e t h e fact that Jack Frost has

' C h r i s t m a s h o l i d a y s ' w r i t t e n all over ,

it 's b e i n g r e l e a s e d in February t h a n k s

to t h e t r ad i t i ona l l ag b e t w e e n US a n d

UK re l ease da t e s - w h i c h c a n o n l y b e a

g o o d t h i n g , as e x c e s s i v e v i e w i n g f i g -

ures c o u l d po ten t i a l l y l e ad to Jack Frost

2 - a c o n c e p t I d o n ' t e v e n w a n t to th ink

a b o u t . Q

D a v e

Win cinema tickets with the

N Despi te the fact that it's not r e l e a sed

until next Friday, This Year's Love has

a l ready b e e n t o u t e d as this year ' s Full

Monty or Four Weddings. H o w e v e r ,

whi ls t s u c h c o m p a r i s o n s m i g h t m a k e

y o u t h i n k o f a n easy g o i n g , v a g u e l y

r oman t i c , c o m e d y , w h a t y o u ac tua l l y

get is a m u c h gritt ier s l ice o f l ife. A cross

b e t w e e n M i k e Le igh a n d Men Behaving

Badly m igh t be neare r the t ruth.

It's u n d o u b t e d l y g o i n g to be we l l

w o r t h s e e i n g , a n d , thanks to the O d e o n

Kens ing ton , y o u can catch it for f ree . To

pick up a pair o f t ickets, all y o u have to

do is answe r the f o l l o w i n g q u e s t i o n :

h

n

p

If y o u k n o w , t h e n e m a i l you r a n s w e r s

to I J KL M I N K JOPJ Q M RQ MS

k b e f o r e W e d n e s -

day e v e n i n g . The first f ive n a m e s out of

the v ir tual hat wi l l w i n a pair o f t ickets .

I'm sorry for the de l a y in p r i n t i n g t h e

n a m e s o f the w i n n e r s o f the Shake-

speare in Love c o m p e t i t i o n , but (at last)

he r e t hey a re :

Ch i a r a Manf l e t t i

M a t h e w H ind ley

T i m R h o d e s

A l e x Th acke r y

D o m i n i c G u p p y

There w e r e in fact t w o correct answe r s

to the compe t i t i on - T o m Stoppard w ro t e

b o t h The Fifteen Minute Hamlet a n d

Rosencrantz and Guildcnstcrn Arc Dead

- so e i ther m o v i e w a s a c c e p t e d .

PDATE

n A r m a g e d d o n has taken a lot o f abuse

s i nce its re l ease last A u g u s t - largely

b e c a u s e ( thanks to Godzilla a n d The

Avengers) every ac t ion m o v i e re leased

last s u m m e r w a s d e c r e e d poor . H o w -

ever s u c h cr i t ic ism is unfair as, un l ike

mos t o f last year ' s o ther b lockbus te r

o f fe r ings , Armageddon de l i ve red what

it p r o m i s e d - b i g exp los i ons , an all star

cast , s o m e l ight re l ie f f r o m Steve

B u s c c m i , s o m e d a m n impress i ve CGI

a n d ef fects , a n d an u n rem i t t i ng m o u n -

ta in o f c h e e s e .

As l o n g as y o u accept that this is a

Jerry B r u c k h e i m e r f i lm ( t rans la t ion :

cheesy , a c t i on p a c k e d a n d ed i t ed like

MTV) , a n d rent t h e v i d e o o n that

p r em i se , then you ' l l en joy it. After all,

m o v i e s are s u p p o s e d to be fun , aren' t

they?

gPut t oge the r th ree s i m p l e c o m p o n e n t s :

a b u n c h o f y o u n g A m e r i c a n writers; a

love tr iangle; and a star of Friends (David

S c h w i m m e r ) . A r e c i p e for d isas ter ,

surely? Wel l , surprisingly, no. Admittedly ,

it's not part icular ly great ei ther, but it's

u n d e n i a b l y c o m p e t e n t , a c c e p t a b l y

en te r t a in ing , a n d witt i ly wr i t ten . M o r e

impor tan t l y , c o n s i d e r i n g the t ime o f

year, it might be p ruden t lo suggest this

as an ideal m o v i e to rent for a n even ing

in w i t h y o u r g i r l / b o y f r i e n d (in o l h e r

w o r d s it 's not tota l ly a b s o r b i n g , you

won ' t look sad/soppy/ado lescen t if you

rent it, a n d if e ve r y th ing g o e s a bit Pete

T o n g it's not actual ly a b a d mov ie ) .

e Here w e g o a g a i n . Lassie a n d Flipper

really d o have a lot to a n s w e r for. Babe

a n d Free Willywete a ccep tab le , but the

recent f l o o d o f ta lk ing a n i m a l based

m o v i e s b e g i n s to gra te . This t i m e

a round the mutant pet in quest ion is the

e p o n y m o u s Paulie, a fast-talking par-

rot, n o less. H a v i n g ' lost ' his first o w n e r

( y o u n g Ha l l i e Kate L i s e n b e r g ) , he

s p e n d s the rest of his life a t t e m p t i n g to

f ind her a g a i n . In actual fact, it's fun ,

k n o c k a b o u t stuff, idea l for your little

brother ( shou ld y o u h a p p e n to be h a m -

p e r e d by s u c h a n an n oyan ce ) - I've just

got a p e r s o n a l v e n d e t t a aga ins t the

ent i re g e n r e . Sorry.

Dave

2 s 5

Ee

This self-titled exh ib i t ion sees M c Q u e e n

returning to the site of his 1995 debut . The

exhib i t ion itself is not m u c h o f a stretch

for M c Q u e e n w h o st icks to w h a t h e

knows best; us ing nove l c a m e r a ang les

and project ions to cast n e w light o n his

subjects.

N o w h e r e is this m o r e clearly d e m o n -

strated than in "Drumrol l " , a triple sc reen

f i lm of a barrel b e i n g rol led by M c Q u e e n

d o w n the streets o f M a n h a t t a n . W e v i ew

the journey out o f bo th e n d s of the bar-

rel, f rom an eccentr ic pos i t ion , a n d look-

ing radially f r om the surface o f the barrel .

Whi le the f i lm d o e s prove interest ing in

highl ighting the number of circular objects

that o n e e n c o u n t e r s w h e n t rave l l i ng

d o w n a street, a n d serves as a n exce l lent

illustration o f the mot i on of a point o n the

c i r cumfe rence o f a rol l ing circle, w h i c h

y o u m a y have b e e n c o n t e m p l a t i n g s ince

your GCSE physics classes, o n c e the quasi-

novelty of the c a m e r a p l a cemen t wa res

off o n e is left w i th the f ee l i ng that no th-

ing n e w has really b e e n a c c o m p l i s h e d .

The s a m e is true o f the o ther f i lm

installation, "Deadpan " . M c Q u e e n recre-

ates t h e c lass ic Buster Kea to n s c e n e

w h e r e he is spa red f r om b e i n g c rushed

unde r a fa l l ing wa l l by a conven ien t l y

a silent four and a half m inu tes of s l ow accurate measurement ? ) there w a s not a

mot ion black and whi te . On l y once d o w e lot lo take h o m e after the initial novelty,

see M c Q u e e n f l inch as the wal l s p e e d s But m a y b e that 's exact ly the- point

M c Q u e e n s h o w s n o e m o t i o n in spite of

events, n o ant ic ipat ion a n d n o relief, and

the v iewer there fore has no th ing to relate

to o n an e m o t i o n a l level .

All in al l , the exh ib i t ion isn't g o i n g to

radically alter the way y o u v i ew the wor ld ,

but for a p o u n d it's w o r t h a look. At least

at the e n d o f your visit you' l l feel that lit-

tle bit more urbane for just hav ing entered

a gallery a n d your eng ineer fr iends will be

impressed wi th your level o f sophistication

or not.

The exh ib i t ion is o p e n until 21 M a r c h

a n d a s soc i a t ed even ts i n c l u d e severa l

gallery talks a n d a spec ia l o n e day c o n -

ference o n the m e a n i n g of political in the

context o f c o n t e m p o r a r y art.

Russell

Unti l 21st M a r c h

located w i n d o w (we've all seen it). The past, inches f r om his face. Try as I d id to Nearest tube ; C h a r i n g Cross

project ion oc cup i e s an entire wal l and extract s o m e m e a n i n g f rom what I was O p e n i n g hours ; daily 12 - 7.30pm

s h o w s the event f r om var ious ang les for watch ing , (trust? faith? The impor tance of A d m i s s i o n : £1.50, week-ends £2.50

EE

G r a c e T f i e a t r e

Valent ine 's w e e k - a t ime for r o m a n c e

and love. H o w f i t t ing that G r a ce Theat re

shou ld c h o o s e to put o n a d o u b l e bill

a b o u t in f ide l i t y a n d be t raya l . In 'The

Stronger' I w a s un fo r tuna te l y d is t rac ted

f r om the t h e m e by M r s X's t e e t e r i ng fur

hat. It w a s ha rd to i g n o r e b e c a u s e

a l though there we re two other characters

on stage ('Miss V a n d the waiter) she had

all the l ines - yes, this w a s a m o n o l o g u e .

It a lso o c c u r e d to m e h o w we l l I c o u l d

play the part o f Lmi le in T h e s o u n d of

si lence ' . It g o e s s o m e t h i n g like this:

Enter s t age r ight w e a r i n g t u x e d o ,

drunk. G i r l f r i end rants a b o u t y o u no t

p h o n i n g . Ignore her. G o to b e d . Read

newspape r . S m o k e a c igare t te . G o to

sleep for Vi hour wh i l e gir l fr iend rants o n .

A n d o n . A n d o n . Get up . Put o n t rousers .

Exit s tage right to g o out d r i nk ing .

This play w a s a m o n o l o g u e t oo . A

singer talks herse l f to despa i r in front o f

her insensitive, some t imes s l eep ing lover.

Qu i t e similar to 'The Stronger ' w h e r e a

betrayed w i f e talks herse l f to despa i r in

front of her husband ' s mistress.

Bo th l ad ies in t h e S t r o n g e r w e r e

immacu la te l y d ressed in the style of the

turn o f the century Chr is tmas s h o p p e r -

all m i n k coats a n d fur hats - as befits this

pe r iod m e l o d r a m a . A c o m m a n d i n g per-

f o r m a n c e f r om Chr is t ina Greatrex d r e w

s o m e at tent ion away f r om her m i s be -

h a v i ng head-p iece w h i c h , desp i t e her

best efforts, eventual ly slid away to reveal

a non-per iod hair style.

I l ike f r inge v e n u e s b e c a u s e they

usual ly a l l ow dr inks in the aud i to r i um, so

if the ac t ion b e c o m e s less than interest-

ing , o n e can a lways p ick up one ' s G u i n -

ness and apprec ia te that instead. I f o u n d

myself d o i n g this several t imes. To trek all

t h e w a y to C l a p h a m l o s e e th is w a s

sl ightly d i s appo in t i ng . A l t h o u g h the pro-

g r a m m e b o a s t e d a b o u t the Shake-

s pea r ea n ped ig ree of the per formers , I

t h o u g h t s o m e t h i n g w a s sl ightly lack ing.

lain

Unti l 11th February

La t chmere pub , 503 Battersea Park Road

C l a p h a m Junct ion BR

Tickets: c o n c e s s i o n s £7

Pe r f o rmance t imes : Tuesday - Saturday

8 p m , Sunday 4 .30pm

Brett Donovan spoke to the ICSM cast of

Blood wedding after watching them in

rehearsal.

After m u c h de l ibe ra t ion , ICSM o p t e d for

the p r o d u c t i o n n a m e d B l o o d W e d d i n g .

A f t e r m a n y s u c c e s s f u l p r o d u c t i o n s

i n c l u d i n g S h a ke s pe a r e , it w a s t h o u g h t

apt to play this Span i sh Tragedy . Wha t

m a k e s B l o o d W e d d i n g s tand out f r o m

Shakespea re is p e r h a p s that is less n e b -

ulous and s o m e w h a t shorter than Shake-

s p e a r e a n affairs w i th on l y th ree acts.

A t ragedy, l e d e r l c o Lorca's play mir-

rors a true story that t o o k p lace at A lme-

ria in 1928 . Ihe title hints at the plot. This

is n o ord inary mar r i age - the b r ide is

caught b e t w e e n the m a n she w a n t e d to

marry ( Leonardo ) , w i th w h o m she fee l s

exh i l a ra ted a n d exc i t ing , a n d her b r ide-

g r o o m to be . a safe a n d d e p e n d a b l e

cha rac t e r . L e o n a r d o m a r r i e s a n o t h e r

w o m a n as a result o f fami l y f e u d i n g .

A d u l t e r o u s p a s s i o n f l o w s b e t w e e n

L e o n a r d o a n d the b r ide to be , w i th the

result that the br ide leaves abrupt l y at

the c e r e m o n y w i th L e o n a r d o . I n c iden-

tally, L e o n a r d o is the on l y n a m e d char-

acter in the play.

Centra l to the play is Ihe n o t i o n o f

fate and heredity. In the emo t i ona l strug-

g le h o w wi l l t h e pass ions a n d impu l se s

fair aga inst the soc ia l conven t ions ? H o w

wi l l t h e s t rugg l e w i t h b a d b l o o d end?

t h r o u g h o u t there is m u c h s y m b o l -

i sm, bo th in t e rms o f characters p layed

a n d s o m e o f the m o r e latent ideas , l o r

e x a m p l e t w o charac te rs play the roles

m o o n a n d d e a t h .

B l o o d W e d d i n g is d i r e c t ed by Ros ie

Beal-Preston, a 1 st year clinical med i c . An

e x p e r i e n c e d actor, s h e is certainly accus-

t o m e d to t r e a d i n g the boa rds , a n d t h e

cast i n f o r m m c that s h e is a n exce l l en t

a n d a c c o m p l i s h e d d i r e c to r . She has

a i m e d to be as fa i thfu l to the or ig ina l

m e a n i n g as p o s s i b l e , un l i k e o the r inter-

pre ta t ions w h i c h l e n d to bias t o w a r d

the sexua l a spec t s .

B e i n g a p r e v i e w I w a s not a l l o w e d

t o k n o w t h e e n d i n g . But I h a v e a n

ink l i ng o f w h a t m a y b e in s tore , p roba-

bly i n v o l v i n g a b l o o d y f ina le , but for

w h o m ? I n o w have to a t t end the w h o l e

p e r f o r m a n c e , if on l y for c o m p l e t e n e s s .

H o w e v e r w i t h t h e t i m e a n d ef for t

e x p e n d in add i t i on to the skill o f the cast

a n d d i rec tors , I d o u b t it wi l l be any th i ng

o the r than a succes s .

Brett

P e r f o r m a n c e s : 1 7 , 1 9 a n d 20th February

5 S 3

E

y

Come Together is a u n i q u e b o o k

as it is a n o v e l w h e r e y o u c a n

read bo th s i des o f t h e story. This

p r o v e s to b e ve r y i n t e r e s t i n g , as n e i -

the r o f t h e m k n o w s w h a t e a c h o t h e r

is t h i n k i n g . It's s im i l a r in sty le l o Brid-

get Jones' Diary by H e l e n f i e l d i n g , as

it is a b o u t the s a m e type o f p e o p l e .

Jack Ross i t c r is a s i n g l e , w o m a n -

e a t i n g twenty-seven year o l d w h o l ives

w i th his best m a t e in L o n d o n . H e o n c e

had a se r ious re l a t ionsh ip but he b roke

it off . H o w e v e r , h e has b e e n u n a b l e t o

c o m m i t t o a n y o n e s i n c e . In o t h e r

w o r d s , h e ' s Just b e e n p i c k i n g w o m e n

u p for f un . I bet l h a l is m o s l IC b l o k e s '

d r e a m .

A m y C r o s b i c o n Ihe o t h e r h a n d is

a ' t e m p ' w h o h a s n ' t h a d s ex in six

m o n t h s a n d it's g e l l i n g her d o w n . She

w a n t s a r e l a t i o n s h i p b u t l a cks t h e

' o t h e r h a l f , t i e r best f r i e n d , H e l e n ,

has a par tne r a n d il s e e m s so a p p e a l -

i n g to her . She ha tes T e m p i n g ' w o r k

but is n o w s t u c k in a j o b s h e can ' t

e s c a p e f r o m .

O u r c h a r a c t e r s m e e l at a n in f a-

m o u s s i n g l e s bar o n a f r i e n d ' s b i r lh-

day, a n d Ihe rest o f the b o o k takes you

t h r o u g h the ro l le r c o a s t e r tha i is the i r

r e l a t i o n s h i p .

So c o m p e l l i n g is the s tory l i ne that

y o u just c a n n o t put th is b o o k d o w n , as

y o u a lways w a n t to k n o w w h a t is g o i n g

to h a p p e n next . Your v i e w o f this b o o k

w i l l v e r y m u c h d e p e n d o n y o u r o w n

p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e r e g a r d i n g re l a-

t i o n s h i p s - n o l jus t s e x u a l o n e s b u l

o n e s i n v o l v i n g f r i e n d s h i p t oo . Ihe p e o -

ple in Ihis b o o k c o u l d b e a n y o n e o f us

at a n y l i m e s o o n . A l t h o u g h il is a b o u t

r e l a t i o n s h i p s , i l i sn ' t a r o m a n t i c n o v e l

- m o r e a s n i p p e t o f t w o p e o p l e s ' l ives.

Helen

A

y

cacacaca E

f f e c t i v e l y t h e s ix th n o v e l in A n n e

Rice 's best-se l l ing Vampire Chron-

icles, Pandora is t h e s to ry o f a

m i n o r c h a r a c t e r o f that n a m e f r o m

her e a r l i e r b o o k s . B o r n t o a n o b l e

R o m a n fami l y t w o t h o u s a n d years a g o ,

P a n d o r a g r o w s i n t o a w o m a n o f

beauty , i n t e l l i g e n c e a n d cu l t u r e . S h e is

f o r c e d t o f l e e t o A n t i o c h d u r i n g t h e

Empero r T ibe r ius ' p u r g e s , w h e r e s h e is

m a d e i n t o a v a m p i r e by M a r i u s ,

a n o t h e r c h a r a c t e r f r o m t h e Chroni-

cles. A f te r a b r i e f d e s c r i p t i o n o f t h e

next t w o m i l l e n n i a as a v a m p i r e , t h e

b o o k e n d s as P a n d o r a l e a v e s for N e w

O r l e a n s t o r e n e w he r a c q u a i n t a n c e

w i t h t h e Chronicles' h e r o , Lestat .

T h e b o o k is p r e s e n t e d as P a n -

d o r a ' s m e m o i r s , w r i t t e n in a m o d e r n

day Paris c a f e , th i s sty le is s im i l a r to

m u c h o f R i ce ' s o t h e r w o r k , but m o r e

desc r i p t i v e , s e n s u a l a n d e v o c a t i v e . It's

very a b s o r b i n g , a n d t h e c h a r a c t e r s are

c o m p l e x a n d b e l i e v a b l e . C o m p a r e d t o

t h e ear l i e r Vampire Chronicles, t h e r e

isn't so m u c h a c t i o n ( a l t h o u g h t h e r e is

a fair bit), it is a m u c h m o r e p e r s o n a l

j o u r n e y ; a m o r e f e m i n i n e p e r s p e c t i v e ,

p e r h a p s (p rev ious narrators have b e e n

m a l e ) .

H a v i n g r e ad t h e p r e v i o u s b o o k s ,

all t h e r e f e r e n c e s to e s t a b l i s h e d cha r-

ac t e r s a n d e v e n t s w e r e fa i r ly clear,- if

y o u h a v e n ' t r e ad a n y o f t h e o t h e r s ,

t h o u g h , Pandora m a y s e e m a l i t t le

c o n f u s i n g . M o s t o f t h e b a c k g r o u n d t o

t h e s tory is in The Vampire Lcstat. The

h is tor ica l e ven t s in R o m e fit n ice ly w i th

t h o s e d e s c r i b e d in Rober t G r a v e s ' /

Claudius, w h i c h h e l p e d s i n c e t hey are

r e f e r r e d to bu t no t rea l ly e x p l a i n e d .

T h e y d o a d d n i c e l y t o t h e a u t h e n t i c

f e e l o f P a n d o r a ' s l i fe , t h o u g h .

O v e r a l l , Pandora is a grea t c o n t i n -

u a t i o n o f t h e Vampire Chronicles, a n d

a w e l l - w r i t t e n , i n t e l l i g e n t n o v e l .

A l t h o u g h it 's no t t h e bes t i n t r o d u c -

t i o n to R i ce ' s w o r k , it is a l m o s t e s s e n -

tial for f ans . O u t n o w in h a r d b a c k is

t h e next s tory in th is s c r i e s , Armand,

a n o t h e r cha r a c t e r w h o ge t s a w h o l e

b o o k to h i m s e l f .

Gareth

4 c 5

Singles

:

1,'itv > ' : i " W.'

hiJITM;'! •.'.•.;! :;.!ii!on - .i U s e o f ,i b leak cxis-

••:vh: i. . e • l i v ingat t h e

it's j u v ano the r s v r l h ' : l ' f . ' h r w - r n w - n

N

N

sc reams the head l i ne . Lord

• ;eW:rl-

. e r r f h i x

tual ly g o o d ,

defy G-esque

w i th M a r v i n G a v e a n d C h i

checks to boo t .

c o o l p i a n o -

f r o m t h e G o d d e s s that

w h e r e b y s h e l a m e n t s o n

The actual s ing le re lease ir t e l udes a tc-

e m i x of Lost

vara. This Is the promo-coj

n't i nc lude sa id remix - bast

r ecord c o m p a n y !

a rd capital ist

It's only February! The latest

the sub l ime One t o v e a l b u

tains a rlff-tastic r emix o f S

n a r o w a n d

re lease f r o m

m. C D 2 con-

how Me The

i rux. This is

ing record c o m p a n y ! tjit_ leu icu uau

'Everybody w a n t s t o b e In

be . But it's p l a in to s e e it's r

t h e p l a c e to

rot this party.

a n v t h l n g t o g o by I'm n

W e l c o m e to h is Excel lent?

>t su rp r i s ed .

s ton , Kak i land, Lord Purvey

is Kakky.

/or o f <3.iI thcit

r a m b l i n g s l ie w i t h i n ant

then. . .oh l o o k there 's s o m

ing . El Chris

Albums

S

Cass ius par ty ing like it's 1999.

This C D is the result o f t h e t en

year p a r t n e r s h i p b e t w e e n

f rench p roduce r s Ph i l l ipc Zdar

and Huber t BlancT rancar l , as we l l as

m a n y other artists they have b e e n the

p roduce r s o f c h o i c e for f r ench rap 'star'

M C Solaar. So there .

Basically, this C D is chock full o f large

f r ench beats, m e s s e d up voca l s a m p l e s

a n d the occas iona l l y l o o p e d m o n k e y .

Phi l l ipe a n d I lubert really s h o w of f their

mastery o f the 303 beat box w i th this

a l b u m - y o u can hear that dist inct ive hi-

hat o n practical ly every track - this is n o

bad t h i n g but it d o e s e n d up s o u n d i n g

rather da ted s o m e t i m e s . But I s u p p o s e

o n e man ' s da ted is ano the r m a n ' s retro.

The a l b u m is certa in ly a m i x e d b a g , w i th

o c c a s i o n a l t racks s o u n d i n g pos t i v e l y

annorex ic in their p roduc t ion , a n d others

e n d up so c r a m m e d full o f beats that

they th rea ten to fuse your speake rs .

Cass ius don ' t stray m u c h f r o m the

we l l e s t ab l i shed ' bu i l d it up , k n o c k it

d o w n ' s c h o o l o f d a n c e mu i s i c p r o d u c -

t ion . They sculpt the beats into a roar o f

bass a n d then pul l it all away - l eav ing

only a solitary voca l or l o o p e d s a m p l e .

Wh i l e they are f i rmly e n t r e n c h e d in the

late '90s h a p p y c l appy h o u s e s o u n d ,

their earl ier roots are there for e v e r y o n e

to see . Wi th a Sou th Park C h e f - e s q u c

s a m p l e l o o p e d o n o n e o f the s t andou t

tracks of the a l b u m , Hey Babe they s h o w

thei r respect for 7 0 s f u nk w h i c h has

u n d o u b t e d l y i n f l u e n c e d t h e m a great

dea l . M o s t o f the beats in the a l b u m are

e lec t ron ica l l y g e n e r a t e d , but Cass ius d o

d e p l o y va r i ed A f r i c an p e r c u s s i o n and

m a k e great use o f b izar re s a m p l e s - as

we l l as the prev ious ly m e n t i o n e d m o n -

key o n Invisible, v io l ins are u s e d occas-

s iona l ly but ef fect ive ly .

Wi th s ix teen tracks o n this a l b u m

Cassius certainly deliver va lue for money ,

w h i l e not every track is qu i te up to the

infect ious beats and del ic ious funk of Ihe

m o n s t e r hit Cassius 1999, t he r e a re

e n o u g h little g e m s and s o u ! t h u m p i n g

m o m e n t s to raise this LI5 a b o v e the stan-

d a r d . S t a n d o u t t racks i n c l u d e , Some-

body Nulife a n d t h e p re v i ous l y

m e n t i o n e d Hey Babe a n d Invisible.

Cass i sus a re a n o t h e r great b a n d

f r o m the French revival that s e e m s to

have b e e n h a p p e n i n g recently. They join

Daft Punk a n d Air as bands to wa tch in

the n e w m i l l e n i u m - 1999 is a great way

to f in ish it.

Joel

En

Power-pop-tast ic ! Jang ly gu i tars !

Nasa l voca ls ! I've really taken to

these guys . This type o f mus i c is

rare these days. The w h o l e a l b u m , to

m e at least, is full o f p o p s o n g s that

s o u n d like the b a n d wan t to have fun ,

a n d they w a n t y o u to, e v en m o r e . Let's

r e m i n i s c e over the '60s shal l we?

The insert to the a l b u m doesn ' t give

m u c h away : n o lyrics a n d o n l y the

briefest o f a c k n o w l e d g e m e n t s a n d infor-

mat ion . However , it d o c s s h o w that three

o f the b a n d still th ink the o ld ' L i am a n d

N o e l ' haircut (circa 1994) is c o o l . I th ink

w e can forgive t h e m o n the g rounds that

this is o n e hell o f an a l b u m . Actual ly no ,

that 's the w r o n g phrase ; it's m o r e of an

excep t i ona l o n e . I'll exp la in : I don ' t th ink

that The Kynd w o u l d l ike m c to use the

w o r d ' he l l ' or any other b l a s p h e m o u s or

abus i ve w o r d s for that matter. They l ook

t o o w h o l e s o m e a n d W a l t o n i s h , they

c o u l d be smacked-up to the eyebal ls ,

but if they are they d o a g o o d j o b o f h id-

ing it.

I don ' t k n o w their i n f l uences but I'd

bet a w a d of m o n e y that Madches te r had

a lot to d o w i th their part icular b rand of

sonic enter ta inment , a l ong wi th '60s p o p

a n d rock 'n ' roll ( same as every o ther

b a n d , then) . But their s o u n d isn't as s i m -

ilar to all t hose ind ie b a n d s that have

g o n e before t h e m . The first track, World's

Finest cou ld be r ipped o f f a G r e e n Day

a l b u m , except it's a lot m o t e mus ica l l y

a d e p t , a n d G r e e n Day w o u l d n ' t b e

caught d e a d w i th a t a m b o u r i n e . As w e

sp in our way t h r o u g h the a l b u m at a

heady 33 1/3 rpm w e e n c o u n t e r , i n t en-

t ional ly or no , sly w inks and c l andes t ine

n o d s to a n u m b e r o f o ther b a n d s o f the

s a m e ilk. W e have a c o p y of Cast o n

Almost There w h i c h I l i ked , a l t h o u g h

Cast irritate m e greatly. There 's an Inspi-

ral Carpets-csquc ditty in Chestnut a n d a

milder vers ion of OCS on If You Think This

Is Easy... This, a l o n g w i th Egotripperand

the beat i f ic , if s l ight ly corny English Girl

Walking is a s tand out track. Three out of

e l e ven ain't b a d . The a l b u m as a w h o l e

has a full-on h ipp ie revival t h e m about it,

a lbe i t w i th a c o n t e m p o r a r y twist. Ihe

ideals are there but there's a m o d e r n feel

m i x e d into that retro ca tch iness . This, it

has to be sa id , is a g o o d th i ng . H

Christian

5 c 5

Albums Singles

Nr

Ju l ian C o p e - ha i rcut o p t i o n a l .

Yet ano the r 'Best o f . . . ' / 'Greatest

h i ts . . . . ' p a c k a g e to clutter up the

a l b u m charts - as if there we ren ' t

e n o u g h o f t h e m a r o u n d a l ready. This

t i m e it's Jul ian C o p e , fo rmer l y o f the

ear ly e i g h t i e s b a n d The Teardrop

Exp lodes - a so lo artist s ince '83 a n d an

egot is t ica l a n d a s u p p o s e d self indu l-

gent f l awed gen ius , if ever there w e r e

o n e .

The title o f the a l b u m is that o f a

track f rom the 1991 a l b u m Peggy Suicide.

The a l b u m covers the two phases that

C o p e spen t s i g n e d to Is land Records ,

to r t h o s e not fami l iar w i th his mus ic ,

C o p e g o e s for the self abso rbed sadness

l ike the Smiths , a d d s o m e synthes isers

a n d the o d d expe r imen ta l bit he re a n d

there , and that 's it.

The early part o f the a l b u m covers

Phase O n e , / 986-1988 a n d is a bit o f a

mix . M y p e r s o n a l f a vou r i t e s a r c the

ca tchy Trampoline a n d the Smiths-like

Crazy harm Animal. Apart f r om these ,

on l y .Charlotte Anne s tands out as g o o d

material whe reas the exper imenta l Trans-

porting just smacks of pure self-indul-

g e n c e . T h e latter part o f the a l b u m .

Phase T w o , 1991-1992 is d i re . There is a

f ine l ine in m u s i c b e t w e e n eccentr ic i ty

a n d b a d taste a n d I t h i nk that C o p e

spr in ted across it s o m e t i m e d u r i n g the

late e ight ies .

I can on ly th ink that this has b e e n

r e l e a s e d t o j u m p o n t h e '80s revival

b a n d w a g o n . Whe the r d e s i g n e d for nos-

ta lg ia or to catch a n e w g en e r a t i on - as

the title does suggest , frankly, it's a waste

of m o n e y . I lis two ex is t ing greatest hits

packages are m u c h m o r e select ive. In all,

this a l b u m d o e s m o r e to put p e o p l e of f

l i s ten ing to Jul ian C o p e than l o get y o u

to b u y his b a c k c a t a l o g u e . Cu r r en t l y

u n s i g n e d to a r e co rd l abe l , h e real ly

shou ld give up and g o h o m e . N o thanks,

d

I d

:'••• :

i l ) l < . ,• O O O '.I i ... ! 'I O

i • • IS ( V i s " ' ' s s i II s

u n r e m ul al, ! . •••uii'i

ITHi.sk. i i i o n i •'• •: • ' Hi

I S . i •

b l a n d • steer we l l c l e a r /

e by

Howie B

. . . . . . . • . • ! ' , . • , <

i i n . H i e . s in . i .! U

V n | I I e e :i

'• "v t • ••iter 1 ' , v , ' ! - y ; : " r . v t ' i . r n -

l ] e ; e ' . .' II '.I I.

the tune a n d in i h e e n d v o n beg in to

lire l i o n i ; i i •' :

- Buffalo Soldier

10.1.11

a U g h i riiil i /••:,!

n t(.i • •!. e . . ••. !• l i e

l e s s e l l

,'.! I . 1 ' '

E L C

— i

.K . Ian B r o w n - There

This e o l l a b o i a l i e n w i th Ian B l o w n is n. .t

o n t h e P s i c n i e lictronalbum w h i c h is

u n l e r t u n a i e as Ifi; a:,:tta I r jg ; xudes

i lass, Ian Brow n's \ o u . fits perfec lly

w i th in thj i • ii m i w. nt of the

sons) a n d leads it into a b leak sound-

scape r e m i n i s c e n t o l f he Source ' s tia. I

I. , l u i n e { , ,nd t l l on )m •. Cot

l

Recent l y San Francisco a n d LA

have b e e n the hot areas for

f i n d i n g the 'next b ig t h i n g ' as far

as h ip-hop is c o n c e r n e d , s p a w n i n g

Jurassic 5 a n d n u m e r o u s other f ine , raw

talent co l lec t ives . A n d as far as DJing

g o e s t hese areas have b e e n the most

f o r w a r d t h i n k i n g as w e l l , p r o d u c i n g

s o m e of Ihe most innovat ive scratch-

i n g , bea t d i sp lays , a n d p l e a s i n g

m e l o d i e s in hip-hop at the m o m e n t .

Defar i is o n e of t h e n e w b r e e d o f West

S ide rapper , w h o s e talent has b e e n

h o n e d f reesty l ing at h o u s e part ies and

M C i n g for f u n . His vo i ce is n o t h i n g spe-

cial but his lyrics f l o w smooth l y , w i th

assurance , occas iona l l y s o u n d i n g like

Rak im; o n a bad day!!

The s o u n d o f the a l b u m is typical

West Coast h ip-hop, m u c h m o r e fresh

a n d o p e n than the c l o u d e d NY s o u n d

w i th exce l lent scratch displays that are

not t o o over the top. O f t e n the m e l o d y

is basic , l ayered over an in tense beat,

that can be qui te in fec t ious . Overa l l the

p roduc t i on is slick, f rom t ime to t ime the

s o u n d c a n b e qua l i t y t h r o u g h a n d

t h r o u g h , at others it is basic. This g ives

a g o o d feel to the a l b u m so that o n e

doesn ' t get t oo sick o f the over s m o o t h ,

r ich s o u n d s . De fa r i a l s o has a f e w

f a m o u s f r iends to he lp h i m out o n his

rapp ing talc, Xzibit, Tha Alkaholiks a n d

Phil Tha AgonyTo m e n t i o n but a f ew .

focused Daily is not a b a d a l b u m

t h o u g h it's certa in ly not a m a z i n g . There

are a f e w g o o d tracks o n it but n o t h i n g

really s tands out. If y o u like West Coas t

h ip-hop focused Daily Is a g o o d b u y

o the rw i se I'm afraid that Defar i o n the

strength o f this a l b u m wil l f ade into the

s w a r m of o ther u n d i s t i n g u i s h ed rappers

w a i t i n g for that o n e s i n g l e that w i l l

l aunch h i m to s t a rdom .

Ramzi

i'Hli : ' • . . . . . i :

th 1 1 I I i i ' . i i i. 1 ...

eies.... / s

••' ij 1 i!

ry ing aspec t o f ihis record is the n a m e

0 i I.. : I

/I I ill iO< : • /

/ ' ' :

••••••/

I' . l / . l l -I I ' ' I! '1 ' i i 1 I' I' lil

ihl • e. ; has. , el

i sli il ' / i l l e

a / e i , / i .. i

... ;• e l s . e . . . . . . s i

Sl'iara i /e l / s • ' / . . i e / e u s for

.e. e.

e e / f .

... . " i , e • ' i s

e . . . s e

e 1 / ...ie ,1 |i Rappl'15

1 i / an H i . l i e I liii-

• e l e s . I . I . e . /

i l l ] . ' el '. " I

Jason

6 e 5

Shifting Gears Mass Preview: Sh i f t ing Gea r s T M a s s

V e n u e : M a s s in Br ixton

£8 NUS/ £10/ £12

10pm - 5 a m

O n Friday 19th February, Hard Hands

and O f f s h o o t Records wi l l ge t t oge the r

at M a s s to play s o m e o f t h e best h o u s e ,

t e c h n o a n d f u nk a r o u n d in a n e w n ight

cal l led Sh i f t ing Gears . Res idents o n the

night wi l l i n c l u d e Paul Da ley (of Left-

f ield fame) , Billy Nasty a n d N i c k Rapac-

ciol i , a n d they wil l b e j o i n e d by a host o f

o ther Djs. The v e n u e is M a s s in Br ixton,

w i th the DJs p lay ing across t w o r o o m s -

r o o m 1 will be host to h o u s e and t echno ,

a n d wi l l f ea tu re Billy Nas ty a n d N i c k

Rapacciol i , a m o n g s t others , whi ls t r o o m

2 wi l l be p lay ing f u nk a n d superd i sco-

breaks (is it m c , or a rc the n a m e s o f

mus i c genres gett ing fuck ing ridiculous!).

Anyway , the night starts o n the 19th and

wil l be o n the third friday of every m o n t h

after that. For s tudents , it'll cost £8, o th-

e rw i se it's £10/£12, a n d y o u can buy

you r t ickets in a d v a n c e at Atlas Records

(Soho) a n d Tag Records , W1 . The fun

starts at 10pm and f inishes at 5am. Can't

be b a d for less than a t enne r can it?

G u r m

Albums Var ious A l b u m s

(React Records )

t h e , j ; K i r n o! the w e e k b u s goec \\\Oi

•. : ! ' o i ng to have

hi : ; ; i iv, r e l eased

.: • • • ••• i s " 'S i t s " , •

i

i' :";i • :<

i r s j a d , flic*.- r e l e a s e • o n t p i l t i v i s o l

r l l i ,

i ' : ' . . - ' :

i • '"s • r I"]

. , ; . ' '

, S ;

r s v e f k n w, « h . ' o O M > r i t I t s t u p ,

s i n . " •

I v " i p m p

eclec

bass

c a s i n g the N e w Skoo l p h e n o m e n o n .

M o r e o f a hard h o u s e a l b u m , it features

tracks by Banco D c Ga ia , DJ Punk-Roc

a n d the f recs ty l c r s . There arc 15 tracks

o n e a c h CD , g i v i ng va lue for m o n e y

a n d all are superb ly m i x e d .

Next up is S o u n d s f r o m t h e Electric

L o u n g e , a m i x e d se l ec t ion of e lec t ron ic

i liar lure brvi ls I his k ind ol

fcl has b e c o m e very popu la r recent-

, id the a l b u m features M i chae l

. : . : • \ i ii .;•••<•• ii .• \e;\ is ••: 11: -i

• i i. ii.'.- a n d f racture beats tunes . If

ll ( Sl im lype sounds , then

dieck >ne out. Real Iblza is ano th

u m n i c i hol idav a l bums ,

. t i n Ca l led A d a m , Chris

« i . ' n i i n o T c p r e t e (reslclenl DJ at

e a lbu rn I c a lu res

lunes thai have

is hen. , i i i ' two

ge l lo listen

to all t h o s e tracks in ful l , f inal ly , w e

have the s l ighty o lder Jeff M i l l s (The

O the r Day) c o m p i l a t i o n I his is a per-

sona l ly c o m p i l e d co l l e c t i on o f s o m e o f

the f inest m o m e n t s f r o m the Ax is

Reco rd l abe l . The a l b u m c o n t a i n s

tracks w h i c h w e r e ma in l y fea tured as B-

s ides or w e r e o rg ina l l y u n r c l c a s c d

Inc lud ing H u m a n a , M e d u s a , G r o i h and

19. A great a l b u m , that you ' l l l isten to

t im e a n d t im e aga in f r om o n e of the

best DJs/produccrs . Great if y o u like lis-

t e n i n g lo the early mus i c that h e l p e d

s h a p e Axis Records a n d Jeff Mi l l s .

Square Pusher p resents B u d a k h a n

M i n d p h o n e E.P.

A s l u p i d s o u n d i n g t i l lc for o n e o f the

we i rdes t LPs I have ever hea rd . It's the

f o l l ow up to the success fu l ' M u s i c is

Rotted O n e No te ' , a n d is a sc r ies o f

r e co rde d live tracks wi th s tup id titles

s u c h as Lamb i c 5 Poetry, V a r k a p h o n c

a n d G o n g A c i d . You t h i n k that ' s

strange? Wait unti l you ' v e hea rd the

mus i c . It's a co l l e c t i on of s t range no is-

es - o n e part icular track s o u n d s as

t h o u g h s o m e o n e has w a l k e d inro a

g iant w i n d c h i m e a n d then r e co rded It.

The rest of the t unes aren ' t better - if

any th ing , i h c y a rc w o r s e . If I had lo

g ive it s o m e sort o f desc r ip t ion , I

w o u l d say it is a we i rd co l l ec t ion o f

chi l led-out m e l o d i c s o u n d s . A n d if I

w a s to be h o n e s t - s t range s o u n d i n g

crap. This is s o m e t h i n g for a very spe-

c ia l i sed market , so if y o u like w i n d

c h i m e s a n d d o d g y beats t h e n this is for

y o u . I adv i se y o u to b u y J imi Tenor ' s

a l b u m (also o n Warp Records) ins tead .

O u t o n Wa r p in M a r c h .

• g&r

G u r m

5 e 7

e

t

'

1996 s a w the r e l ease o f o n e o f t h e

biggest c lub tunes p r o d u c e d - a n u m b e r

o n e not on ly o n the dan ce f l oo r s , but in

the charts all over the w o r l d . ' C h i l d r e n '

rocketed to the top . a n d so d i d Robert

M i l e s . 1999 s e c t h e re-release o f this

classic tune w i th a make-over f r o m lilt.

There are two remixes in the f o r m o f the

Courtyard tdi t a n d Cour t ya rd M i x . The;

former lasts abou t 12 m i n u t e s a n d the

latter about 6 m inu tes , b o t h t u r n i n g the

or ig inal tune i n l o a m o r e p rogress i ve

house track. The or ig ina l p

is still there, but n o w the i

beats, synths. a n d breakdc

remixes s o u n d similar , so il

w e e bit repet i t ive , but It's

tune anyway . B l oody exce l l

D c c o n s t r u c t i o n at t h e be

M a r c h .

• • • • •

The Light

'Expand t h e

J C h o o n s )

A hard-h i t t ing h o u s e t u n e

f r om the p e o p l e at E looj

C h o o n s . W i th p lenty of bass

the track c o m e s w i t h 4 m

wh i ch d o try to g ive it s o m e varic-

but on l y o n e really s tands o u

the rest. Three o f the m ixes s o u n d

practically the s a m e , a n d fea ture s o m e

s t r a n g e - s o u n d i n g voca l s , t h o u g h t h e

Ronn ie P i l g rem M i x takes the t une to a

m o r e D&B d i m e n s i o n . II is a s t range

s o u n d i n g track, w i th plenty of bass a n d

quite a g o o d beat , but w i th the m ixes

s o u n d i n g the same?, a n d last ing a n age ,

this is a t une that wi l l e n d up d o i n g

your h e a d in , but then it w a s a lways

g o i n g to b e ha rd to fol low' up to the

s u p e r b G r e e c e 2000 's 'Three Dr i ves ' .

Best to l isten to this o n e first.

H u m a t e

'Love S t imu la t ion '

(Deviant Records )

In the last f ew years , Paul V a n Dyk has

exp loded o n t o the scene . Everything he

does , w h e t h e r it's p r o d u c i n g , r e m i x i n g

or DJing, is of the h ighest qua l i ty a n d

f lawless. The m a n c a n d o n o w r o n g , a

Singles t rend c o n t i n u e d by this latest s ing le fea-

tur ing FVD. l o v e S t imula t ion w a s PVD's

first remix in 1993, a n d has f inal ly b e e n

re l eased in the UK on Deviant Records .

A superb tune full of pianos, b reakdowns

a n d m u c h m o r e , it c o m e s w i th lots o f

remixes , the best b e i n g the Or ig ina l M ix

a n d the PVD C lub M ix

Out now o n Deviant Records ;

• • • •

T

' G o d s p e e d ' (Hybr id mixes )

I he classic progress ive t une ge ls another

r e w o r k f r o m H y b r i d . T h e r e are two

mixes - the Hybr id D u b a n d the Hybr id

M i x Both sti'

t h o u g h have

n e w beat Y

or ig ina l (esp

m i x e s h a v e

d i m e n s i o n .

Ihe or ig ina l qu i te wel l ,

l e d m o r e bass and a

an hear f lashes of the

y the s\nths), but the

led a f a b u l o u s n e w

• • • •

J ames B r o w n

' Funk O n Roll '

( Inferno Records )

Mas te r returns w i th this latest s ing le

k O n A h Rol l ' . A g o o d tune , featur-

B rown ' s l e g e n d a r y voca ls , ' Funk O n

Roll ' c o m e s w i th seven mixes allow-

t h c t rack t o s o u n d h o u s e ,

a g e , sou l a n d R&B style. The

est mix c o m e s f r om the Ruff

Dr iverz , w h o use their trade-

:! ma rk beat on top o f the pow-

erfu l voca ls . Wi th plenty o f

:: c h o i c e , this is a s ing le cov-

I e r i n g q u i t e a bit o f t h e

d a n c e mus i c spec t rum and

| def ini te ly o n e to watch out

; for.

• • • •

m

M a c k l i f e

' B e s t F r i e n d '

(Tuff Jams)

Fairly b o r i n g g a r a g e t u n e . The A-side

mixes aren't the best, and neither are the

B-sides really, but the lu f f Jams Classic

G a r a g e M i x is passab le (just!). These cer-

tainly aren't tracks that v o u wi l l b e h u m -

m i n g d o w n the street all day.

• •

b

8 s 5

l

January has really b e e n a tad t oo q u i d for

this rev iewer . Pe rhaps S imCity 3000 a n d

A l p h a Centur i wi l l be in the s h o p s by the

t ime that this r ev i ew hits the lec ture the-

atre, but apart f r om these smal l br ight

l ights the o n l y c r ea tu r e s s t a l k i n g t h e

g a m e s h o p s have b e e n c o m p i l a t i o n s or

worse still, t he B G a m e . Natura l f a w n

Killers has B g a m e wr i t ten all d o w n its

sp ine .

f o l l o w i n g the b e a t e n trail that Deer ,

Duck and Gr izz ly Hunte r have s ta lked ,

Natura l Fawn Killers tries to inject a

sl ight a m o u n t of h u m o u r into the

o the rw i se d e a d pan hun t i ng g a m e .

Un fo r tuna te l y in the s a m e way the

Nat ional L a m p o o n team attempts to

pa rody A m e r i c a n f i lm genres , NFK

has h a m m e d it up too m u c h and

i n c l uded t oo little meat . The hunter

g a m e s c a p t u r e d the interest o f the

British pub l i c in the s a m e way a flat-

^ mate ' s gen i ta l warts capture one ' s

interest - they might we l l be out

there but y o u sure didn't want to expe-

r ience the pa in o f e ven s e e i n g t h e m .

To play the h u n t i n g g a m e s proper ly

r equ i r ed the player to d o very little for

most o f the t ime . Sta lk ing and m a k i n g

an ima l no ises apcars to pretty m u c h s u m

u p mos t o f it. NFK is m u c h m o r e inter-

e s t n g for t h e first f e w minu tes , but the

simpl ic i ty a n d l imited nature of the g a m e

play s o o n b r i n g your interest levels back

to cataton ic . Forget hav ing to stalk the

prey, this is m u c h m o r e like a D o o m sit-

ua t ion - run th ings d o w n and shoot

at short range . There is a t e l escop i c

lens o p t i o n o n the h u n t i n g rifle for

s n i p i n g at creatures, bo th b ig a n d

smal l , t h o u g h this is most ly a was te

of t ime . S h o o t i n g creatures f r o m

d i s tance s h o u l d be wha t this g a m e

is about . Unfortunate ly smaller crea-

tures s e e m to i gno re y o u until y o u

get a lmos t c lose e n o u g h to s t o m p

o n t h e m rather than scarper away .

As for a t t e m p t i n g to take on larger

creatures with the hun t ing rifle is Ihe

s imp les t w a y to get c h o m p e d or

s t o m p e d on yourse l f .

As far as the graphics g o at least

t h e y have 3 D a c c e l e r a t i o n ca rd

op t i ons to p r o d u c e p o l y g o n g r a p h -

ics, but incredib ly un in te res t ing a n d

s impl is t ic p o l y g o n g r o u n d a n d river

g raph ics . Fven the p o l y g o n an ima l s

w e r e not as impress i ve as cou ld be

expec ted . The rabbits we re very s im-

ple, t h o u g h at least they had m a n -

a g e d to d raw a n d a n i m a t e a f awn w i th

a little m o r e detai l , t h o u g h it d o e s l ook

remarkab ly like B a m b i in a p p e a r a n c e .

The s o u n d is o n t h e s a m e l e ve l ; for

m o v e m e n t there is the c h o i c e or e i ther

c runchy leaf, c runchy g r o u n d or s l o sh ing

water s o u n d s .

Desp i te l oa th ing mos t of this g a m e

n a m e s l y t h e s imp l i s t i c g a m c p l a y , the

g r a p h i c s a n d t h e s o u n d t h e r e w e r e

th ings w h i c h w e r e s l igh ly bet ter . The

h u m o u r , t h o u g h sick, carr ies the g a m e

for a f e w minu tes . S h o o t i n g c rea-

tures at c lose range p r o d u c e s aort ic

spurts of b l o o d , or if y o u get a g o o d

e n o u g h shot o n the sma l l e r a n i -

mals a n instant decap i t a t i on - n o w

I to ld y o u it was sick. There is a l so

the abil ity to was te a ser ies o f smal l

furry and large scaly creatures u s i ng

not only a h u n t i n g rifle, but gat t l ing

g u n s , g r e n a d e l a u n c h e r s - e v e n

rocket l aunchers . Rabbit p r o b l e m s .

Just d r o p a b o m b near t h e m .

The on ly o ther sav ing grace was the

c o m p l e t e lack o f a m a d e up story. N o

pre tent ion o f a quest or a task, just a s im-

ple s h o o t i n g g a m e . Un fo r tuna te l y e v en

this can not really c o m p e n s a t e for wha t

is a very p o o r g a m e . What ever y o u d o

d o not b u y this g a m e , a n d e ven the

wa lk to your local rental out let might not

be w o r t h it - espec ia l l y if it's co ld , far

away, or y o u have to actually have to pay

lor it.

Gary S

d

d

,

Sid M e i e r has genera l l y h ad the M i d a s

t o u c h in p r o d u c i n g strategy g a m e s . Civ-

i l izat ion a n d Civ 2 w e r e r e s p o n s i b l e for

the loss of mi l l ions o f w o r k a n d h o m e

hours t h r o u g h o u t the w e s t e r n w o r l d .

Their fr iday a f t e r n o o n pro jects Mas t e r s

o f O r i o n a n d M O O 2 w e r e less per fect ,

con t a i ned s o m e n i ce t o u c h e s in that

your o f f ens i ve a n d d e f e n s i v e w e a p o n s

cou ld be m o d i f i e d , so a f leet o f fast,

l ightly a r m e d sh ips c o u l d a t t empt to

take o n a heav i ly a r m e d dea t h star -

t h o u g h usua l l y w i t h o u t

a n y t h i n g like the success

e n j o y e d in the mov i es .

So Sid is a b o u t to g ive

birth to C iv i l i za t ion 3, or

b e c a u s e of his split w i th

M i c r o p r o s e , A l p h a Cen tu r i

(M ic roprose kept the rights

to the Civ n a m e ) . Set o n

t h e first c o l o n y ou t in

space - the peace fu l e n d -

ing to Civ a n d Civ 2, w h e r e

y o u take c o m m a n d of o n e of m a n y fac-

t i ons o f t h e o r i g i na l c o l o n y s h i p a n d

a t tempt to lead t h e m to d o m i n a t i o n of

t h e p l ane t - e i the r by d i p l o m a c y , by

e c o m o n i c a l l y out p r o d u c i n g your o p p o -

nents , or by o l d f a s h i o n e d g e n o c i d e .

Expect heav i l y r e v a m p e d g raph i c s , A l

a n d the inc lus ion o f a c u s t o m w e a p o n

p la t fo rm editor .

Best o f all, there is an internet server

based mul t ip layer o p t i o n . N o w y o u can

a t t e m p t to p lot you r w a y to the top

against organic , inte l l igence. T ime to test

plans of g loba l d o m i n a t i o n on the rest o f

the w o r l d .

y

With Civ, the other strategy g a m e that

pretty m u c h has b e e n burnt o n t o the

back o f the re t ina is the Simcity series.

The or ig ina l S imci ty was a g a m e (hat

a lmos t a n y o n e c o u l d play, t h o u g h f e w

really mas t e r ed . The seque l Simcity 2000

w a s a s tep fo rward bo th in graphics a n d

invo l vemen t , but w a s m u c h easier to

master. Soon exc i tement was only f ound

in p l a y i n g g o d a n d r a i n i n g d isas te rs

d o w n o n N e w Coventry .

S imci ty 3000 has extra comp lex i t y

a n d i m p r o v e d graph ics . W e can h o p e

that t h e di f icul ty level is co r rec ted .

iCU

0 t 5

FOOTBALL

L S E V 4 - 4 I C V

This w a s the t e a m that had t h r a s h e d us

7-1 way back in O c t obe r in our first g a m e

of the s e a s o n , so the return g a m e w a s

a b i g m a t c h - a n d t u r n e d ou t to b e

ano ther 8 goa l thri l ler - this t im e e n d i n g

all square .

With JP still s i de l i ned w i th an in jured

f inger, a n d M a r k v o w i n g never to be

stand-in G o a l i e aga in after Saturday, Stu

f r om the 4ths p layed for us t oday - but

was totally shit for the first goa l for LSI; -

a w e a k shot f r o m the e d g e o f the bo x

s o m e h o w g o i n g u n d e r his h a n d a n d

tr ickl ing into the net. Ree l i ng f r o m this

bad start, a n d f r o m s o m e terr ib le refer-

e e i n g dec i s ions , IC c a m e back we l l , a n d

w e r e s o o n level t hanks to N i m a (I'm t o o

g o o d for the Sths) ro l l ing the ball to T o m

-0 to the b lack & wh i tes ) Wa lker 25

yards out, w h o d i spa t ched an u n s t o p -

pab le shot past their keepe r .

But our r ecord o f h a v i n g o n e o f the

shortest t eams ever s e e n s o o n p r o v e d a

p r o b l e m aga ins t a t e a m w i t h str ikers

twice our he ight , and f r om a corner they

scored aga in , 2

Hav ing s c o r e d his first IC g o a l , T o m

then struck aga in w i th a bri l l iant f ree

kick, over a n d r o u n d the wa l l . By ha l f

t ime, LSE w e r e 3-2 up after a n o t h e r cor-

ner was h e a d e d in, but the V's never sur-

render, and it was 3-3 after great pressure

f r om our cap ta in , A n d y "Let's w i n " Ch i v a

led to a n o w n goa l . Yet ano the r heade r

gave LSL a 4-3 l ead w i th 20 m i n u t e s to

g o , a n d Adr i an "lofty bastard" M c f a r l a n e

t o o k a bit o f t i m e to recover f r om a hard

hit foo tba l l in the bo l l ocks bravely b lock-

ing a shot . W e then fea red than N i m a

m igh t n e e d his l eg a m p u t a t e d o n the

field o f play, but it tu rned out to be a tiny

graze o n his knee - c u n n i n g de lay ing tac-

tics w h e n a goa l b e h i n d , N ima. . .But still

not w o r r i e d , IC c a m e back aga in w i th a

fantast ic goa l s c o r e d by Chris "Lazy Git"

Frazcr after great w o r k by T o m "When he

s h o w s up " Lovel l o n the right.

So, 4-4, a n d a great f i gh t ing away

po in t for IC V's - Let's w i n all our g a m e s

for the rest o f the s e a s o n boys!

)

FOOTBALL

Eng land 0 - 2 France

G e n e r a l l y c r a p p y p e r f o r m a n c e f r o m

E n g l a n d a n d the A r sena l (ptui , ptui)

back th ree .

Let A n e l k a score tw o . N e w m a n a g e r

r equ i r ed urgent ly .

CRICKET: 1st One-day f ina l

Aus t ra l i a 232/8

Enga lnd 222 (were 194/4)

G e n e r a l l y c r a p p y p e r f o r m a n c e f r o m

Eng land , t h r o w i n g away w i n n i n g pos i -

t ion . Still th ink they ' l l w i n Wor ld C u p .

C & G FOOTBALL

CIvEng 14 (approx) -1 MechEng

A makesh i f t t e a m o f last m i n u t e v o l u n -

teers f r o m civi l e n g i n e e r i n g c o v e r e d

t h em s e l v e s in g lory g i v i ng the s c u m m y

m e c h a n i c a l s a g o o d d r u b b i n g . By guts,

determinat ion , skill and incisive f in ishing,

not to m e n t i o n the fores ight to wea r

boo t s ins tead of trainers in m u d d y c o n -

di t ions , Ihe civ lis s h o w e d that they are

the t e a m to beat in this 5-a-side l eague .

The art o f r u n n i n g c i rc les r o u n d the

o p p o s i t i o n has rarely b e e n m o r e ef f i-

c ient ly a c c o m p l i s h e d . Chr is a n d Brad

both b a g g e d hat tricks, others may have

as we l l bu l w e lost coun t . Even you r s

truly got a goa l , my first for three years !

O f course , w e had to a l l ow t h e m o n e

c o n s o l a t i o n goa l , a n d to be fair they

w e r e great sports , their h e a d s never

w e n t d o w n - a n d mos t o f their t e a m

we re w ea r i n g trainers. I'm sure they'll be

k e e n to get their o w n back in the civil v

mechan ica l rugby match on Sunday 28lh

Feb. W e say ' c o m e o n then ! '

Play footba l l for your d e p a r t m e n t ; ask

your year rep about ge t t ing into a t e a m .

C iv Eng v M e c h L n g r u g b y m a t c h

( f r iendly ) 28th February . Ema i l U V WX YZ[\] W V U W V^k ( m e c h a n i c a l s ) or V _XZ ]`YX`\]W VUWV^

k (civils)

FENCING

e

a

g

M o ' s b r e e c h e s c o n t i n u e d in t rue fash-

ion , just a b o u t m a n a g i n g l o see h im

t h r o u g h t h e IC v i c to ry o f 18-9 over

Cardiff .

Wi th our foil up first, a full t e a m for

a c h a n g e , w e m a n a g e d to easi ly defeat

the y o u n g p re t ende r s 7-2. A n excel lent

p e r f o r m a n c e f r om our foilists, this gave

us the r equ i r ed i m p e t u s to de fea t the

Card i f f t e a m .

S ab re u p next , a n d M o a n d

Thors t cn w o r k i n g in top gear, m a n a g e d

to w i n all their m a t c h e s w i th ease , and

the a d d i t i o n o f D a v e " C a p l ' n Ph i l l "

H u g h e s , he l p us w i n 7-2. G i v i ng us the

v ictory w i th a n ent i re w e a p o n in h a n d .

Epee b e g a n we l l , w i th N ige l " O ld

G e e z e r " Dav ics m a n a g i n g to m a k e it for

a first t e a m sess ion for a c h a n g e . G i ven

that L p e e is ou r t e a m ' s w e a k e s t

w e a p o n , a 4-5 de fea t w a s not so bad

(espec ia l ly as our best Epeeist cou ldn ' t

m a k e it for the e n d o f the match! ) .

A g o o d pe r f o rmanc e all r ound , n o w

l e a v i n g o n l y o n e r o u n d b e t w e e n IC

F e n c i n g C l u b a n d the BUSA finals.

C - 9

TELLABOUT

ICU R E T A I L I N G

TUES m m 5 . 3 0 UNION D I N I N G H A L L

ICU B A R S A N D CATERING

W E D S 17TH 5 . 3 0 U B S

ICU A D M I N I S T R A T I O N

THURS m m 5.30 UNION DINING H A L L

ICU E N T S

M O N 2 2 N D 5 . 3 0 U B S

ALL WELCOME C o m m e n t s & s u g g e s t i o n s l e a f l e t s

a r e i n a l l o u t l e t s N O W .

5 t 1

Y

C

O u r first m is take w a s g i v i ng t h e wh i s t l e

to the on l y b loke o n the p i t ch w i th a

wh i te st ick this s c h o o l b o y error w a s p u n -

i shed by a n ear ly pena l t y f l i ck b e i n g

a w a r d e d aga inst us. The shea r p o w e r

and accuracy o f the flick nearly de f e a t e d

the cat-like agi l i ty o f Red H e l m e t , w h o

c lawed it out o f the cent re o f the goa l by

s t and ing still.

Pink G a s h o p e n e d the s c o r i n g for IC

with the mos t a s t o u n d i n g g o a l s c o r e d

this s e a s o n . The rest o f t h e half s a w

hockey very unl ike the f l ow ing love ju ices

o2

Yes, it's t rue . The g lory days are he re

again as the Disco Squad see of f the sec-

onds a n d carry o n a l o n g t h e trail, w h i c h

only he ros da re t o t r ead . W e are in the

semi-final o f the U L U cup . C o m e o n the

Boys!

This victory was hard-won, w r e n c h e d

f rom the j aws o f de fea t . The g a m e w a s

predic tab ly b o i l i n g over w i th pas s i on ,

courage a n d Tom ' s but tcheeks , w i th play

t h ru s t i ng b a c k a n d f o r t h f as te r t h a n

Casanova after he ' s had a l ick o f V iagra .

The D isco boys put the fear o f the Sun

M e d a l l i o n into the s e c o n d s in the first

half, a p p y l i n g c o n s t a n t p r e s s u r e a n d

at tacking verve . The ha l f e n d e d s co re-

less, howeve r , a n d after t h e break, the

2nds f o u g h t back w i th r e n e w e d v igour .

The Disco Boys sturdy d e f e n c e he ld f i rm,

e g g e d o n by the d r u k e n m e s s o f dr ib-

b l ing a n d eage r w o m e n that w e k n o w

a n d love as t h e D i s co Diva 's .

Extra T i m e e n s u e d , a n d aga in the

play f l o w e d back a n d for th , b o t h s ides

c o m p o s i n g attack after c u n n i n g attack.

At t i m e s t h e g a m e b e c a m e m o r e art

than sport , m o r e s y m p h o n y than arse-

k ick ing s e s s i on .

of purp le he lmet ! At the half t ime break

M r T p o i n t e d out that the first S m inu tes

o f t h e s e c o n d half w o u l d b e the most

important . Foolishly w e a l l owed t h e m to

s co re w i th a s p a w n y de f l e c t i on s e n d i n g

a cross into the t o p corner .

S o o n af terwards Leicester 's s e c o n d

w a s in f r o m a b r e a k a w a y goa l , m a k i n g

a w a y ex t reme ly dif f icult espec ia l l y d u e

to B lue U n d e r p a n t s and N o d d y b e i n g

sent off. Wi th Leicester p a c k i n g their

d e f e n c e w e f o u n d it very diff icult to cre-

ate a s c o r i n g c h a n c e a n d a l t h o u g h 2-1

was a d i sappo in t ing result the oppos i t ion

p robab l y de se r v e d it.

Wi th m i n u t e s to go , the sun b roke

t h r o u g h t h e c l ouds , r e f l e c ted o f f t h e

M e d a l l i o n of Joy a n d temporar i ly b l i nded

Stout Stout, a l l ow ing the 2nd s c u m ( h o w

rude!) to sl ip t h r o u g h a n d s l ide o n e past

Pete T o n g , w h o w a s unfor tuna te l y busy

m ix ing his essentia l se lect ion at the t ime.

But t h e D i s co S q u a d was u n b o w e d , a n d

Lager Lager b roke d o w n the left w i n g ,

s h o w e d a bit o f fire a n d the rest o f the

boys s a w that it w a s the w a y fo rwa rd . 2

m i n u t e s later w e w e r e s l a p p i n g the ball

a b o u t in the i r D, C h o p p e r s w o o p e d in

a n d the boy o f j oy m a d e it 1 - 1 . Top

Banana !

A n d so pena l t i e s w e r e to d e c i d e

w h o w a s to c o n t i n u e o n the path o f

glory, a n d w h o w a s to b e c o n s i g n e d to

the d e p t h s o f de r i s ion a n d gene ra l piss

t ak ing . Top marks must g o to our goa l i e

Pe te T o n g , w h o d i s p l a y e d flair a n d

p a n a c h e a n d a l s o s a v e d 2 p-flicks.

C a s a n o v a , Baps a n d Fab io all s c o r e d ,

w i th The S u n d a n c e Kid a n d Indian Cow-

pat Ca tegory set t l ing for mora l v ictor ies.

The 2nds on l y m a n a g e d to sl ip o n e past

our m igh ty T o n g a n d so must b o w out

as h o n o u r a b l e losers.

C O M E O N THE THIRDS ARE G O I N G ALL

THE WAY, BABY! N i ce .

G

2IC ski t eam wen t to participate in the 2nd

Huskis race ser ies. For mos t the race

wen t we l l , the except ion b e i n g the pres-

ident o f the t e a m . H e fel l , bravely got

up , and c o n t i n u e d . Un fo r tuan te l y he

had lost a lot of t ime . Fate had it that

he f i ns ihed just b e h i n d the pres ident o f

UCL ski club (a w o m a n and not a brilliant

sk ier by any s t a n d a r d s . It w a s later

a n n o u n c e d that s h e w a s sat is f ied w i th

her pe r fo rmance , but f o u n d h i m lack ing

in m an y areas, i n c l ud ing k e e p i n g erect.

N o t a b l e results f r om Ol iver M a n n (3rd

sn ow boa rd ) and Gare th Hail (15th all

categor ies ) .

The w e e k e n d of the 6/7th February

saw the ski c lub d o a total o f 30 hours

o f bus to reach sunny , s n o w y A v i e m o r e

(Nor th Scot land) . To be hones t , it w a s

co ld , b l izzard a n d icy but there w e r e

de ta i l s ( except that races w e r e c a n -

cel led) . Overa l l , a g o o d t ime was h a d .

Thankyou to all t hose w h o m a d e the

effort to c o m e so far to race for IC.

If a n y o n e is interested in sk i ing , mai l

k or

Tristan Ranger

S

: H av i n g c o n q u e r e d L o n d o n w i th

impress ive victories against U M D S (6-0),

KCL (5-1), Royal Ho l loway (4-2) and U C H

(6-0), IC M e n ' s Tenn i s T e a m w a s ready

for the cha l l enge against Coventry in the

na t iona l s tage o f BUSA. Th ings started

badly . Covent ry n o . 1 ( former British

under 1 n u m b e r 15) dest royed our cap-

tain Ju l i en . W e w e r e 2-0 d o w n after

Ma rk ' s l o s i n g p e r f o r m a n c e . Howeve r ,

our t w o m a g i c m e d i c s (Hani a n d Jon)

pu l l ed the s co re back to 2-2 after t w o

g r i p p i n g th ree setters. The sun c a m e

d o w n a n d the l ights c a m e on,- it was

t im e for the d o u b l e s . A n hou r later,

Covent ry had g o n e , IC w a s out .

: IC p l ayed aga ins t S ta f ford-

sh i re Univers i ty a n d easi ly w o n 4 - 2 .

The first m a t c h in l e ague e n d e d pos i -

tively a l t h o u g h at the b e g i n n i n g it was

not certa in as to w h e t h e r all the players

w o u l d reach the des t ina t i on , Stoke-on-

Trent thanks to the a m a z i n g ef f ic iency

o f S t a f f o r d s h i r e Un i ve r s i t y w h o had

g i ven deta i ls o f the ma t ch on the pre-

v i ous day.

3 out o f 4 s ing les e n d e d in favour

of Imper ia l a n d a d o u b l e had to be

g i ven away b e c a u s e o n e of our players

had to leave early. N o n e t h e l e s s , M a r i a

and A less i a t h r a shed the adversary c o u -

ple w i th 6-1 6-2 in less than 1 hour .

Thanks to all t h o s e w h o p layed .

s

Yes, it's m e aga in , your friendly sports ed .

You may be w o n d e r i n g w h y I a m ta lk ing

to y o u . We l l , apparent l y very little sport

was p layed this w e e k . Or so it w o u l d

s e e m f r o m the n u m b e r of match reports

that I have rece i ved .

These p a g e s are set as ide for the

sports t eams to submi t articles on their

t eam 's adventures . It w o u l d be g o o d to

rece ive m o r e regular reports , espec ia l l y

. f r o m the 1st t eams . I a m t e m p t e d to

set up s o m e sort of incent ive s cheme , \

but I k n o w that wil l on ly e n d up wi th m e

b u y i n g dr inks for t h e sports t eams , a n d

m y wal le t is not that d e e p .

Anyway , I'm o f f to lie d o w n in a

da rk r o o m for a c o u p l e o f w e e k s to

recover f r om the stress o f t yp ing up and

lay ing out these pages , so next w e e k

these pages wil l b e in the capab le hands

o f s o m e o n e e l se . That r em inds me ,

if a n y o n e e lse out t he r e is in teres ted in

h e l p i n g m e d o these pages , feel free to

contac t me/ the Felix o f f i ce .

s

dM o n 15 Tues 16 Wed 17 Thurs 18 Fri 19 Sat 20 Sun 21

C A G : T o o l s fo r Se l f

Rel iance, B a semen t o f

Beit Q u a d

Env i ronmenta l Soc ie ty-

Physics LT2

Sabbat i ca l H u s t i n g s -

dB's

Retai l Focus G r o u p

M e e t i n g - U D H

Sabbat ica l Hus t ings -

C h a r i n g Cross

STA Q u i z N igh t -

DaVinc i ' s

C A G : S o u p Run , Base-

m e n t K i t c h e n , W e e k s

Hall

Bars Focus G r o u p Mee t-

i n g - d B ' s

Sabbat ica l Hus t ings - St

Mary 's

C lub XS, ICU, FREE

m

A d m i n Focus G r o u p

M e e t i n g - U D H

C A G : Soup Run, Base-

m e n t K i t c h e n , W e e k s

Hall

Cocktai l Night, DaVinci 's

m

Bust-a-gut C o m e d y -

d B s

U t o p i a - ICU

m

2 t 5

S

C C

Sco r i ng 3 goa l s b e t w e e n t h e m in 10

minutes , H igh l ande r a n d G o n a d s m a d e

sure that GKT didn't k n o w wha t hit t h e m .

S o m e h o w the m e d i c s w o k e up a n d got

past Ba ldr ich a n d M i r a n d a a n d m a n -

a g e d to run into 'keeper Flo g i v i ng t h e m

a penalty. They put in ano the r a n d IC sat

d o w n at half t ime to s o m e talk o n tac-

tics f rom capta in Slave. Back to the p i tch

and still 3-2 up , w e c o n c e d e d ano the r ,

and then ano the r 6 m i n u t e s f r o m t ime. . .

w o u l d this n i gh tmare never end? 2 m i n -

utes later s o m e beaut i fu l p lay f r o m G i n -

ge r p l a y e d the ba l l t h r o u g h to

H igh lander w h o aptly s w u n g it over the

GKT d e f e n c e to G o n a d s , w h o t h e n vol-

lyed h o m e . The i r ref t h e n d e c i d e d that

as w e we re at tacking it w o u l d be a g o o d

t ime to b l o w the whis t le .

Extra t i m e y i e l d e d n o t h i n g , a n d a

penatly shoot-out s tood b e t w e e n us and

the next r o u n d o f BUSA. Slave s t e p p e d

up first a n d had a shot s a ved . Lou i se

was next a n d hit the back o f the net bril-

liantly. Baldr ich hit h o m e as we l l and w e

w o n 3-1 after I lo saved 2 o f their sho t s .

Last 16 he re w e come . . . !

It w a s co ld , w i n d y a n d their p i tch w a s

w i d e r than it w a s l o n g . I he magn i f i c en t

7 t r ekked to W y e (near s o m e d o d g y

c h a n n e l t unne l rail link... so w h y d o Co l -

lege w a n t this f a r m i n g co l l ege exactly?)

a n d f aced an o p p o s i t i o n s q u a d of 12.

W e w o n d e r e d if w e c o u l d d o it. W e

t h o u g h t w e c o u l d . A n d w e d id . G o i n g a

goa l d o w n k i cked us w h e r e it hurt and

IC faced the ball as no other t eam cou ld .

H i g h l a n d e r s co red 4 and Lou ise stuck

o n e in for g o o d measure . . . . Wye lost it

a n d resor ted to h a c k i n g the IC capta in

a n d her star players d o w n in frustrat ion.

Can w e poss ib ly lose in our n e w kit...?

D

FOOTBALL

Saturday 6th Feb

IC I

LSE III

SS/S cane

STG

I C V

ICVI

Wye

3-0

2-1

• IC III

6-2

1-2

5-0

1-5

G O L D I

IC II

c l a im a wa lkove r

IC IV

SBLH II

G O L D IV

IC Laides

W e d n e s d a y 10th Feb

LSEV 4-4 I C V

IC Ladies 3-1 GTK

L

e

For the third year in a row, ICUs Basket-

ball t eam qual i f ied for the last 16 o fBUSA.

G r e e n w i c h , r anked s e c o n d in the BUSA

Sou th Wes t D i v i s i on , w a s far f r o m a

match for the IC m e n ' s basketba l l t e a m .

For the first knock-out of the BUSA C h a m -

p ionsh ip , IC, w i t hou t p e r f o r m i n g we l l ,

on ly had p r o b l e m s for a b o u t 20'. Even

t h o u g h a h o m e match , the tie had to be

played at the U n i o n g y m of Q u e e n Ma r y

as there w a s n o court ava i lable to IC for

a W e d n e s d a y fixture. The ma t ch started

w i th IC tak ing a smal l lead of 4-8 po ints .

How ev e r , the b a d r e b o u n d record o f

the forwards and the low percen tages of

the guards a l l o w e d G r e e n w i c h to f in ish

the half a h e a d (32-29). As s o o n as the

s e c o n d half started IC t i g h t e n e d their

d e f e n c e , e v e n t h o u g h t h e o f f e n c e

r e m a i n e d p rob l emat i c . The result w a s

that a d i f f e r ence of a b o u t t en po in ts

was secured and this was to remain until

the e n d , desp i te the last-minute ef forts

by the Greenw i ch guards. In the average-

to-bad genera l p e r f o r m a n c e of IC, Sasa

Bjelogrlic, A d a m Win ton and the Capta in,

T h e o d o r e M o u r o u t i s o f f e r e d , in c o m -

par i son , the m o r e re l iable so lu t ions .

A lot o f t h ings n e e d to b e i m p r o v e d if IC

are to w i n their s e c o n d knock-out away

to O x f o r d B rookes . The inc lus ion of Ste-

fano Bond i , a n e w 2.05m center , in the

squad , as we l l as the return of Elias 11 lad Is

after a two-week a b s e n c e d u e to i l lness

p r o m i s e s ign i f icant s t r e n g t h e n i ng o f the

t e a m near the basket . If at least s o m e of

the g u a r d s c a n have a g o o d day in

O x f o r d o n W e d n e s d a y , IC have a g o o d

c h a n c e to be in the BUSA f ina ls for the

first t im e ever. It wi l l b e the prefect and

wel l-deserved reward for the t e a m m e m -

bers a n d the effort they put t h r o u g h o u t

t h e year .

C

It has b e e n brought to my attention that

last w e e k s IC III v ICSM III hockey match

d id not take p lace , a n d as such , the

report w a s f a k e d .

I a m not a m u s e d . A p o l o g i e s to ICSM.

A l so a p o l o g i e s to the footba l l firsts for

not m a k i n g their h e a d l i n e b i g e n o u g h

v Gus

Cby Gnat C h u m

7

O

• •

• 12

s

I Post o f f i ce has three po ints to take

up after Q u e e n ' s dub ious answer . (8)

6 Nat iona l i ty assoc i a ted w i th lager. (6)

9 Rock face d i s f i gu remen t . (4)

10 Cease frivolity in places, e g our sites. (3,7)

II Suppor t for b r o k e n l imb a t t a c h e d

with reed, be ing badly shattered. (10)

12 Jea lousy o f Edward and most of the

Navy. (4)

13 A loud shudder f rom part of a cow. (5)

14 Four t eas w i t h suga r o r d e r e d in

French t o w n . (9)

16 R o u n d veh i c l e o n e d g e . (9)

19 Frank s o u n d s like the contro ler . (5)

21 D o i n g exe r c i s e o n the street is a

pa in . (4)

23 Beast w ro t e T m A lan ' o n p lace in

country . (4,6)

25 Rap s e a s o n g p e r f o r m e d w h e r e

priests live. (10)

26 Student sounds untrue w h e n descr ib-

ing a m o o s e ? (4)

27 Back 'yes' to ERM n o n s e n s e ? Rather

get o n ferry to get over it. (6)

28 I O . D., s e e n by o ld ies . No t w o r t h

m u c h realy. (3,5)

n

2 Drugs o n the cover? Get away! (7)

3 Impor tant to exe rc i se right to get

f a s i o n a b l c in m a r q u e e . (9)

4 K n o c k b a c k g in mos t of the dark

hours . (5)

5 Actor ' s ins t ruc t ion f r o m theatre r ig

gents . (5,5.5)

6 What I d id w i th the paper is a t idier

mess . (1,4,2)

7 Doc to r , I have a m b i t i o n . (5)

8 Nervous about a place for missiles? (7)

15 True d i g at g i v i n g thanks . (9)

17 Plastic a c c o u n t a l i en i nges ted . (7)

18 Youth in imag ina t ion? (7)

20 Take p h o t o a r o u n d hall o f sexual ly

sugges t i v e nature . (7)

22 Exams in cast France, in back street. (5)

24 V a n d a l o u s behav iour ? S o u n d s like

our boy. (5)

s

Across : 7 Clot 8 Near a n d far 10 Aster isk 1 P laster ing 2 Street 3 Ins ignia

11 O r d e r s 12 B e a t e n 13 O n e - s t e p s 4 Ga lo r e 5,21 I d id it to myse l f 6 Fair

15 Installations 18 A g o n i s e d 20 N i m i t z 9 A c k n o w l e d g i n g 14 Posit ively 16 Sun-

22 I learse 24 Illusive 25 Water tight 26 Lull dr ies 19 Siesta 23 Edam