Document

The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

GUILDS PROF CRUSHES RCSU RAID Professor Anderson, one of the

guests of honour at the Elec Eng

Freshers ' D i n n e r , prevented

R C S U from making away with

Spanner and Bolt when he held on

of the raiders in a deadlock and

refused to release him until after

the attackers had withdrawn.

Professor Anderson: the next

Spanner bearer?

G o r d o n Bowser , the Elec tr i ca l

E n g i n e e r i n g D e p a r t m e n t a l

R e p r e s e n t a t i v e , h a d a c t i v e l y

dissuaded freshers f r o m b u y i n g

t i c k e t s f o r the d i n n e r , a n d

c o n s e q u e n t l y o n l y f o r t y - e i g h t

people were present in the Senior

C o m m o n R o o m when the C i t y

a n d G u i l d s ' mascots, Spanner

and B o l t , arr ived by van . A team

f r o m t h e R o y a l C o l l e g e o f

Science U n i o n attempted to steal

them as they were unloaded but

o n being confronted by superior

numbers they were forced, by

mascotry rules, to retire.

L a t e r , a larger group o f about

s i x t y c h a r g e d the S C R , a n d

d u r i n g the ensuing scuffle a glass

d o o r was shattered showering

D r C o r y a n d the student sitt ing

next to h i m wi th broken glass.

The student received several cuts

for w h i c h first a id was a d m i n i

stered. B u t the attackers were

again repelled.

RED KEN IN

SOUTH KEN G L C Leader K e n Liv ings tone

delivered a red-hot attack on

T o r y po l i cy , and in part i cu lar its

c r u s h i n g o f the F a r e ' s F a i r

scheme and its attitude to C i v i l

Defence, when he spoke as a

guest o f the Social ist Society to a

packed G r e a t H a l l on Tuesday.

M r L iv ings tone spoke for an

h o u r and then answered ques

tions f r o m the audience. ' R e d

K e n ' is a n expert speaker and

w i t h a l l the facts a n d figures at

N o . 6 2 4 B H M M f l B H H B J i

his f ingertips he was wel l able to

deal with the points raised.

M r L iv ings tone described the

convo luted legal b a c k g r o u n d to

the L a w - L o r d s ' quashing o f the

Greater L o n d o n C o u n c i l ' s fares

po l i cy ; the legal precedent used

was the suppression o f P o p l a r

C o u n t y C o u n c i l ' s a t t e m p t to

give women equal wages in 1900.

M o r e r e c e n t l y the A t t o r n e y

continued on back page

The f ina l attempt was made

j u s t b e f o r e t h e a f t e r d i n n e r

s p e e c h e s , w h e n s o m e f o r t y

students gained access through

two previous bolted doors . It

was then that Professor A n d e r

son demonstrated his hitherto

unsuspected wrest l ing prowess.

D r C o r y was later heard to

remark that he wished that a l l

f ormal dinners were as entertain

ing .

A s a result o f the damage

c a u s e d d u r i n g the r a i d , I C U

P r e s i d e n t S t e p h e n G o u l d e r

s u m m o n e d t h e t h r e e C C U

P r e s i d e n t s a n d d r e w t h e i r

attention to exist ing mascotry

rules, notab ly that there s h o u l d

be n o w a n t o n v i o l e n c e o r

destruct ion. A n agreement was

also reached that there s h o u l d be

no speeding by C C U vehicles on

the campus and that a l l damaged

a n d injuries sustained d u r i n g

mascotry raids s h o u l d be re

p o r t e d i m m e d i a t e l y t o t h e

U n i o n .

The R o y a l Co l lege o f Science

U n i o n has accepted- responsi

b i l i t y f o r the d a m a g e t o the

door , for w h i c h they are ex

pected to receive a b i l l f r o m the

Estates section.

|Friday, October 2 2 , 1982|

Mines & Ents Dear Sir

On reading F E L I X on Friday

I was astounded to discover a

letter concerning the Mines lack

of involvement in F r e s h e r s '

Week—this being the first I'd

heard of it. Now the idea of

Freshers' Week was, that for the

first time, there would be a co

ordinated set of activities and

entertainments in the first week

involving all three C C U s , I C U

and IC E n t s . A meeting to

arrange details was held in mid-

June last term at which the

relevant Mines Ents Officer,

John McPherson, was present

along with the other C C U Ents

O f f i c er s , the I C U Exec and

myself and other interested

p a r t i e s . T h e result o f this

meeting was that Ents would be

responsible for booking two gigs

and a film double bill with other

p e o p l e w o r k i n g as a g r e e d .

U n f o r t u n a t e l y , the p e r s o n

responsible for the s m o o t h -

running of this event was Phil

Greenstreet, so whilst I was at

home, happily booking bands

with Phil's failure there was no-

one to look after the other

details and chaos was unleashed.

Meanwhile I C U Exec began to

assume that Freshers' Week was

solely an Ents function, as I

suppose did the C C U s and in

particular Mines . The events

organised by Guilds and R C S in

Freshers' Week showed at least

that they were aware of the

concept but unfortunately Mines

arranged a week of Freshers'

events. I can't blame my old

mate John Eagleson, I suppose,

but as Mines V P he ought to

have known where to go tiddly-

winking this weekend without

relying on me to tell him.

Byll Waterson

I C U Ents Officer

Wellsoc Sexism Dear Martin

As Publicity Officer for the

H G Wells Society, I feel bound

to reply to the letter from the

WIST Officers published in last

week's F E L I X .

In many ways I agree with

what they had to say, and I

accept that some people may

have found the poster offensive.

The reason for using the poster

in q u e s t i o n was to a t t r a c t

people's attention, make them

read the poster and make them

come along to Freshers' Fair. In

these respects it has been a

resounding success.

I believe, however, that the

students of Imperial College do

not wish to pass a U G M motion

which would effectively censor

College posters. It is gross to

suggest, as do the ladies of

WIST, that a publicity officer

should not use pictures which

are "totally irrelevant to their

society in order to advertise its

existence".

In c o n c l u s i o n , Wel lsoc is

indeed the society where every

one's face fits, no matter what

their interests, creed or colour or

political allegiance. I can see

nothing in any poster that I have

produced that contradicts this

admirable ideal.

David Rowe

Dear Martin

So the Wellsoc poster was

offensive to WIST et al. It was

meant to be publicity and to

stand out amongst the junk that

most societies adorned College

with over Freshers' Week. What

with U G M motions and F E L I X

articles Wellsoc seems to have

obtained more attention than

could ever have been hoped for,

with the added bonus that WIST

have taken a free trip on our

publicity bandwagon.

I should like to point out that

Wellsoc used a poster with a pair

of bare breasts last year to

advertise a lecture on vampires.

There were no U G M motions on

that one—perhaps it was thought

more artistic than the last! Given

this sort of ambiguity in reaction

how is a motion calling for

almost random, public censor

ship going to solve any problems?

We will probably have running

continued on page 4.

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Poge2| | October 22,19821 IFELIX

A Grand Wink The long-awaited Tiddlywinks

Rag Stunt on Saturday was a

great success, raising £980 for

charity. None of the expected

problems from police or Chelsea

College arose.

Near ly a hundred and fifty

students f rom the three C o n

stituent College U n i o n s started

f rom The V a l e and t i d d l y w i n k e d

u p K i n g ' s R o a d t o S l o a n e

Square. T h i s represented a break

f rom t r a d i t i o n , as u n t i l this year

t i d d l y w i n k i n g has always taken

place a l ong O x f o r d Street, but

after warnings f r o m police a n d

s o m e t r o u b l e o v e r c o l l e c t i n g

licences the event was twice put

of f a n d a new venue f ound .

I n k e e p i n g w i t h t r a d i t i o n ,

however, the contingent f rom

t h e R o y a l S c h o o l o f M i n e s

w i n k e d t h e i r t i d d l e s s i n g l e -

minded ly d o w n the middle o f the

r o a d , while the more cautious

members o f C & G and R C S used

the pavements. The route took

t h e m p a s t C h e l s e a C o l l e g e ,

w h i c h w a s e x p e c t e d t o be

regarded by their students as an

infringement o n their terr i tory ;

but there was no visible reaction

f r o m w i t h i n . F u r t h e r m o r e ,

pol ice presence 'was l imi ted to a

discreet inspector, two sergeants

and three constables w h o raised

no legal objections unt i l Sloane

S q u a r e was r e a c h e d . A t t h i s

po int the students were asked

n o t to p r o p e l t h e i r c o u n t e r s

across the pedestrian crossings,

as they had already caused a

certain amount o f traffic c o n

gestion.

The event drew to a close with

r i n g - o - r o s e s a r o u n d S l o a n e

S q u a r e . T h e s t u d e n t s t h e n

d e s c e n d e d e n m a s s e o n the

R o y a l C o u r t tavern , where some

customers compla ined o f being

h a r a s s e d b y o v e r - e a g e r c o l

l e c t o r s . R a g C h a i r m a n J o h n

Ferguson has written an apology

Guilds, RCS and HM constabulary were all represented on Saturday.

to the l a n d l o r d on behal f o f the

U n i o n .

Because the money was de

l ivered direct to M E N C A P on

the same day, i n d i v i d u a l totals

f o r the three C C U s are n o t

avai lable .

Insecurity

F o u r bicycles, w i th a n estimated

tota l value o f £600, were s to len

f r o m the Col lege o n Wednesday :

two f r o m i n front o f the Science

M u s e u m L i b r a r y , one from in

front o f M e c h E n g a n d one f r o m

b e h i n d the M i n e s B u i l d i n g s -

were a l l fastened w i t h l ight cha in

or cables w h i c h were cut with a

s m a l l p a i r o f b o l t - c u t t e r s . It

seems l i k e l y t h a t t h e t h i e v e s

carr ied out a t h o r o u g h recon

naissance o f the Col lege before

selecting suitable targets.

N o n e o f the machines h a d

been registered w i t h securi ty ; all

students wi th bicycles who have

not yet done so are asked to go

to the security officer o n level

one o f the Sher f ie ld B u i l d i n g

w i t h details o f the f rame number ,

make and co lour o f their bicycle .

Small Ads •Personal computer ZX81 16K Ram-

pak and printer, £100 ono. Contact Deborah Prince, Zoology PG. •1 Radiomobile car radio, manual tuning, £12.50, good working order, ring 582-6773 (eves 6:00-8:00). •Honda Camino moped, T reg with indicators and top-box, years MoT and tax, excellent condition, £135, phone 648-4737.

• Pioneer stereo turntable, semi automatic with strobe, as new, inc cartridge, only £45. Contact W Steen, ME3 or ring 736-5526.

•2 man ridge lent, 8 wks old, £25ono. Contact Fraser Simpson int 3655 or RSM letter-rack.

•Ladies bike 26" wheels, £25, D E King, Mech Eng UG3.

•Rega R100 cartridge, £15, apply Nick Hunt, Mech Eng 3.

•Bootleg tapes (early punk): HGFs, N ismoids , Thermburns , etc, S W Nield, Aero 2.

• A n y o n e wishing to sell a judogi

contact G Shields, EE2 with size and cost. Ta!

• Wanted: Ed inburgh Fr inge T o u r Manager for Dramsoc. Your chance to beat cable TV in bringing art to the masses. Come to the Green Comm Rm at 7:00pm on Tuesday October 26, or to the Storeroom any time.

•Are you an athlete? (S)training on your own? If so we meet 12:30, Thursdays in gymnasium, or contact R Flynn, Physics 2. •Cou ld the PG who has had a year's dancing at York and who was goig to come to the lesson last Monday but didn't, please come to this Mondays lesson to contact Rebecca May or through Physics 3 letter-racks. •Dear Naunton can I borrow your pink ballet shoes and swan outfit, love the Green Hippo.

•Tours of the Donatello Collection in the Vanda (very nice in tomatoe sauce)? Contact the Italian Renisance Art Soc c/o Queintin Fontana FK.

•Kawasaki Z200, 1978, 12,100 miles, 12mths, M o T and tax, vgc, £175 . Contact M Nobel, Pet Geol or ext 2156.

•Physics Wanderers challenge anyone for matches on Sundays. We have a pitch. Contact D Warner via Physics letter-racks, PWRUA1.

• D o u b l e r o o m , flat 21b Hamlet Gardens, apply singley or as pair, 741-7095 or contact Helen Bolt via Civ Eng letter-racks.

•Young lady required to share flat (Head Tenancy) in Shepherd's Bush (non-smoker), please contact Caroline Low, Chem 3 pigeonholes. •Single room to let in flat for two in SW12, centra l hea t ing , l o u n g e , kitchen and bath, £23pw. Bing L Hui, Man Sci (MSc) thru letter racks. •Two people needed to share double room in flat in Putney, nearest tube: Putney Bridge, attractions: telephone,

deep freeze, two TVs (one colour with teletext), video, large garden, kitchen, bathroom, nice district and millions of shops within spitting distance, rent £22pw, 4 Burstock Road, SW15, phone 785-6952.

•Shared room to let for male student, 12mins walk from IC in Gledhow Gdns, fully furnished, sharing with ex-IC student and one other in basement flat, £110pcm.

•Flatshare for one male in 204 Hamlet Gardens, rent £18.50pw. Flat includes lounge with colour TV, two bathrooms and washing machine. Contact M Tyrrell, Chem Eng 2 or ring 748-7503.

•Gir l required to share flat for eight in Hamlet Gardens, large double room overlooking Ravenscourt Park, rent £17pw. Contact Helena Branwell, Biochem 2 or ring 728-3291 and ask for flat 207.

• For sale: Five tickets for Ju l io Iglesias concert at Albert Hall on Wed Oct 27, £1 .50 each. Contact Paul McNamara, Mech Eng 2. •Gir l required to share double room with Julio Iglesias on Wed Oct 27. For further details contact Albert Hall, Mech Eng 2 or phone 327-4891 and ask for 'H'.

•Part-time job evening/day, £2 per hour, for details ring Debbie, 278-0891.

• T o whom it may concern: Thank you for returning my wallet. Jane Glasco-dine.

•Found at Willis Jackson House Party last Friday, one pair of ladies red heels. Contact Gerard Livett, Chem 2.

• Neil: Thanks for the honourable mentin. Pity you're such a prick. Or

was it Matt ?

•Nicola C I admit it was me all along J

W. PS: no moping or groping.

•Covent Garden Tragedy performances: Holland Club Thurs Oct 28; Southside Bar Fri Oct 29. An evening in an eighteenth century brothel, with Dramsoc's Edinburgh Fringe production.

• T o all British Council Sponsored Students:

Please could you take your British Council health card to the Health Centre before the end of October.

• F o u n d in the J C R : Unpleasant b rown, ye l low and b lue h o o p e d sweater, please collect A M P , Chem 3. • R S M : Many thanks to those who attended the tiddlywinks in the drizzle on Saturday.

A quick note of some things to come: Met & Mat Sci Freshers' Dinner, 7:00pm, Fri Oct 22, meet Union Bar; Paint Your Face Disco, 8:30pm. Sat Oct 23, JCR; Min Res Eng Freshers' Dinner, Fri Oct 29, meet Union Bar. •Bike Club meet for their regular Sunday run at 10:00am, Beit Arch. We'll be doing 40-50 miles into some nice countryside (and a nice nosh-house half-way). Anyone welcome (you can join there!). •Welfare Officer is available in the Union Office 12:45-1:30, Monday, Tuesdays and Thursdays for almost anything!

•Want to learn to fly? Then come along to the Gliding Club, meetings in Aero 254, every Thursday at 5:30pm.

FELIX lOctober 22, 1982 P a g e 3

Letters

continued from page 2.

b a t t l e s b e t w e e n the v a r i o u s

sectarian societies in Col lege as

they attempt to have each other

removed f rom the U n i o n ' s list o f

' approve i l advertisers ' .

Yours

M i c h a e l M a c C l a n c y

Wel l soc C h a i r m a n

P S : W h o said the figure wi th the

h a n d on the z ipper was a man?

News Reporting Dear Martin

Off ic ia ls f r o m several societies

have c o m p l a i n e d recently that

c e r t a i n n e w s a r t i c l e s h a v e

inc luded too l i t t l e / t o o m u c h /

i n c o r r e c t / t o o e m b a r r a s i n g l y

correct i n f o r m a t i o n about their

act ivit ies , while they have taken

no measures to supply F E L I X

wi th i n f o r m a t i o n . Whereas I can

s o m e t i m e s c o n t a c t s o c i e t y

o f f i c i a l s w h o h a v e i n t e r n a l

t e l e p h o n e s , f i n d i n g u n d e r

graduates on a T h u r s d a y after

n o o n when there are six other

news stories to write up is just

not possible .

C o n t r a r y to p o p u l a r b e l i e f

a n d established precedent, we do

try to pr int news as accurately as

possible. In the case o f the W I S T

article o f a fortnight ago, my

i n f o r m a t i o n was s u p p l i e d by

W e l l s o c (a v e r y p u b l i c i t y -

c o n s c i o u s o r g a n i s a t i o n ) a n d

f r o m t h a t b o t t o m l e s s p i t ( o f

in format ion ) the U n i o n Off ice ,

in the absence o f any attempt by

M e s d e m o i s e l l e s N a h o n a n d

Watts to contact me.

H e n c e f o r t h , any compla ints

f r o m s o c i e t i e s w h i c h h a v e

per formed some vaguely news

worthy feat and made no attempt

to supply us with i n f o r m a t i o n

w i l l be s t u d i o u s l y i g n o r e d .

A n y o n e w h o believes that it is a

reporter 's funct ion to seek out

i n f o r m a t i o n shou ld apply to the

F E L I X O f f i c e f o r t h e j o b

(people w h o have had to look up

more than three words in this

letter need not apply) . U n t i l I

have a news staff o f more than

two people (wi l l they breed in

captivity?) you w i l l have to put

up with what 1 write.

Your raving reporter

A d r i a n James

News E d i t o r

R C S Thuggery Dear Sir

W e have reason to c o m p l a i n

o f the R C S U lackeys and minions

w h o organised the Ch e mi s t r y

Freshers ' D i n n e r on Tuesday

October 19.

I , a n d t h r e e f r i e n d s , were

h o l d i n g a conversat ion in an

isolated part o f the J C R — a w a y

f rom the ' a c t i o n ' — w h e n we were

a p p r o a c h e d by M r C h a r l e s

F u l l e r , R C S H o n Sec, and to ld ,

n a y o r d e r e d , t o l e a v e t h e

premises. O n our reluctance to

c o m p l y — d u e to our rights to

remain in the J C R under U n i o n

r u l e s — C h a s brought over his

'heavies ' and threatened us with

violence, te l l ing us l o ' F u c k O f f

and i f we d i d not leave we w o u l d

be f o r c i b l y e jec ted f r o m the

r o o m .

We began to leave peacefully

but harassment cont inued and

m y t h r e e c o l l e a g u e s a c t u a l l y

pushed through the doors .

We believe that this behaviour

was unjusti f ied and offensive.

E v e n o n e o f the ' b o u n c e r s '

admit ted that we had the right to

be there but he wanted a pint so

we had to get out.

We d e m a n d a printed apology

and a c ommitmen t that this w i l l

never happen to us or any other

students again .

Yours sincerely

J o n C l a r k

C Burgess

Robert Reynolds

Pau l G r i f f i n

Glass-handed

Dear Sir

O K I let M a r k S m i t h get away

wi th it once but now he has

repeated his error . The classic

Outer Limits episode ' F i e n d with

a G lass H a n d ' by Ray B r a d b u r y

does not exist. The classic Outer

Limits episode ' D e m o n wi th a

Glass H a n d ' by H a r l a n E l l i s o n

does. T h i s was the episode about

an a n d r o i d , Trent , who had to

save the e n t i r e h u m a n r a c e ,

stored on a bit of fuse-wire in his

h a n d , f rom a m a r a u d i n g gang of

th ird rate actors wearing black

balac lava helmets. It is a classic

because it is the only episode not

featuring an alien with a head

like a melon .

I always preferred The Twilight

Zone series.

Yours

R o y G r a i n g e r

Phil Nathan—

the true facts

revealed

Dear Martin

W i t h reference to your editor

ial in last week's F E L I X con

d e m n i n g my so-called ' h y p o

cr isy ' , here are a few facts which

I feel 'deserve a wider audience ' .

1. T h e ' w o n d e r f u l ' l e t t e r

which you quote f rom the R C S U

Broadsheet as written by Debb ie

C o o p e r , was, so 1 have been

i n f o r m e d , not actual ly written

by her, nor d i d she k n o w that

any such article was go ing to be

i n c l u d e d i n B r o a d s h e e t . It

appears that the letter was a

f a b r i c a t i o n — a forgery.

2. The contents o f the letter

are s imply not true, ie they are

either lies or the result o f some

immense mistake on the au ' hor 's

part . I in no way encouaged Ms

Debbie C o o p e r to dress up in

" n o t h i n g but a sweatshirt and

u n der w ear " . I was not present

when it took place and d i d not

Phil Nathan:

Sexist stocking filler?

f ind out that this had happened

unti l a l ter the event.

F o l l o w i n g your ' s t rong c o n

d e m n a t i o n ' o f my hypocrisy and

y o u r a t t i t u d e t o w a r d s t h e

m o t i o n on the Jez Queen at the

R C S Freshers ' U G M . I realise

how much the above wi l l d is

appoint y o u ; but there you go.

T h e r e c a n be n o e x c u s e f o r

p r i n t i n g l i b e l l o u s s t a t e m e n t s

however reliable the source, and

a little bit more care w i l l earn

F E L I X m u c h greater respect.

Yours 'hippo'-critically

P h i l i p B N a t h a n

B i o c h e m 3

Dear Sir

P h i l N a t h a n is not a hypocr i te

as you c la im in your ed i tor ia l .

D e b C o o p e r d i d not write a letter

i n B r o a d s h e e t c l a i m i n g P h i l

e n c o u r a g e d h e r t o a d v e r t i s e

sweatshirts by parad ing herself

in no th ing but a sweatshirt and

underwear , someone else d i d .

The truth is that I and Debb ie

b o t h d e c i d e d t o m o d e l the

sweatshirts (we both paraded in

s w e a t s h i r t s a n d ' u n d e r w e a r ' )

and we d idn ' t tell P h i l t i l l later.

Y o u r ed i tor ia l has unwit t ing ly

played into the hands o f those in

R C S w h o w o u l d discredit P h i l

N a t h a n and his (and others in

L i f e S c i ' a t t e m p t to c h a n g e

R C S U to a form more desirable

to its members , and the crude

a n d d i r ty tactics they employ .

P h i l N a t h a n r e m a i n s a most

respected ex -L i f e Sci D e p Rep

amongst L i fe Scientists if not the

rest o f the Co l l ege , many of us

f ind his attempts to change R C S

from wi th in laudable and sincere

if perhaps in v a i n .

G e o f f Evans

L S 2 Soc Rep

Since I had checked the

facts with Debbie before I

wrote the Editorial, I felt

it only fair to allow her

the right of reply -Ed.

Dear Martin

H a v i n g read the letters for

F E L I X this week I w o u l d l ike to

comment further on one or two

points :

1. T h e letter in Broadsheet

though not personal ly penned

was written under my instruct ion

and on info received f rom me. I

certainly had knowledge o f its

inc lus ion in Broadsheet before

Broadsheet was produced .

2. I r e p e a t t h a t P h i l h a d

knowledge o f this ' m o d e l l i n g ' o f

L i f e S c i T - s h i r t s b e f o r e i t

occured ( though the idea was

p r i n c i p a l l y G e o f f s ) a n d P h i l

suggested we might l ike to repeat

the per formance for L i f e Sc i 2!

Therefore , apparent ly condoned

the idea.

3. P r i n c i p a l l y t h i s was not

intended as a personal d i g at

P h i l ' s p o l i t i c s , m e r e l y h i s

irresponsible attitude by put t ing

f o rward such a m o t i o n at the

Freshers ' U G M .

Debbie C o o p e r

L i f e Sc i 2

Page 4 October 22, 1982 IFELIX

News Reporting

I've moaned about this before

(as have editors since F E L I X

was conceived) but so much

criticism is flying at the moment

that I'd like to straighten out a

few points, particularly in view

of the letter from Adrian James,

my news editor, which is printed

opposite.

News editing is probably the

most difficult job on the staff of

F E L I X . T o s top the news

sounding stale, almost all the

research and all the writing has

to be done on W e d n e s d a y

afternoon (when undergraduates

are next to impossible to con

tact), and then the sub-editing,

typesetting, past ing -up a n d

printing are all done in one mad

rush on Thursday.

Secondly, people often exag

gerate the facts (you should have

heard the R C S U version of the

mascotry raid and compared it

with Guilds'; I scarcely believed

they were telling me about the

same event!) or tell deliberate

untruths. We do try our best to

present the facts as they happen,

but the news editor is less than

omnipresent and we have to rely

on oral reports from members of

College who (and here's the rub)

are p r e p a r e d to p h o n e the

F E L I X Office and tell us the

news.

Thirdly, an enormous amount

of news is 'of a sensitive nature'.

In five issues of F E L I X so far

produced, including two post

graduate issues, there have been

f o u r s t o r i e s w h i c h I h a v e

withheld at the request of the

various people involved, and a

further one which perhaps I

would have withheld had I

EDITORIAL received enough information in

time. But it isn't possible even to

seek out all the people who

know the facts about a story, let

alone find all those likely to

know some reason why it should

not be printed; and, apart from

this, people must take responsi

bility for their decisions and

actions, and if they do or say

something in public which they

later regret, am I to be blamed

for reporting it in a way which

brings out the features of their

actions which have mass appeal?

The news pages are supposed to

be interesting; after all.

D o I need to spell out the

conclusion of this outburst? We

need more news staff. Anyone

who has any aspirations at all in

this direction, be it interviewing,

researching, writing or whatever,

should come and find either me

or Adrian in the F E L I X Office,

preferably on Fridays or M o n

days to introduce yourself, or on

Wednesday afternoons to work.

Also, we need news. If anything

of interest, however" s l ight ,

h a p p e n s in y o u r l a b , y o u r

lectures, your committee, your

C C U or whatever, we need to

hear about it. A n d finally, the

responsibility for what I publish

rests with me. The responsibility

for y o u r words and deeds,

reported accurately in F E L I X ,

rests with you.

F E L I X Staff

New reporting aside, we are still

very short-staffed on F E L I X ,

and will welcome anyone who is

prepared to give up some time,

however irregularly, to help

produce this newspaper. N o

previous experience is necessary

(in the case of collating it's not

even desirable) as we will teach

' you all the various skills involv

ed in graphics work, layout,

design, or whatever turns you

on, as they say. We particularly,

u r g e n t l y , d e s p e r a t e l y need

people to help on Thursdays

between 2:30 and 5:30pm when

the paper is finally put to bed,

but most of the regular staff

have lectures, practicals, and so

forth. If anyone is even remotely

interested, come to the F E L I X

Office anytime today or early

next week and introduce your

self.

We a lso need c o l l a t o r s .

Collating consists of slipping the

folded sheets of F E L I X inside

one another and needs no skill

w h a t s o e v e r ( e v e n S t e p h e n

G o u l d e r has been known to

help.) Just turn up on Thursday

evening and join in the convivial

social atmosphere, and help the

other staff members calm the

Editor as the folding machine

breaks down yet again. Collating

usually starts at around 7:30pm

and goes on late, but come for as

much or as little as you like.

U G M

Although you might not have

guessed it from the appalling

lack of publicity, there is an

important Union General Meet

ing next Tuesday at 1:00pm in

the Great Hall . At this meeting,

the v a r i o u s c a n d i d a t e s for

Deputy President of the Union

will make their hustings speech

es, so come along and find out

who you want to administer

your finances next year.

IF and R C M

If anyone from the Institut

Franpais or the Xoyal College of

Music would like to act as a

semi-official representative of

their respective college on the

staff of F E L I X (even if all they

do is collect a bundle of copies

every Friday,) would they please

get in touch.

Impossible Without

Lee Paddon, Mark Smith, Nick

Bedding and Nick Willson for

r e v i e w s , T i m N o y c e , Peter

Rodgers, Dave Rowe for pasting

up and generally being helpful,

Hugh Southey for What's O n ,

P i n o c c h i o a n d W a l k a b o u t -

Looksee for their respective

columns, Carol ine Foers for

offering to do anything within

reason (!), Adrian James f o r the

news, Dave W Parry for photo

graphs, Chr is M a l l a b a n d f o r

sport, Nick Pyne for the centre

spread, Maz, Peter, and anyone

I've forgotten in the rush.

Martin S Taylor

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 l " —̂—(

1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

t=3, 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 t=3, M A R Y F R E E M A N may be one

of the most hardworking Honor

ary Secretaries the Union has

seen in recent years, but she is

not, it has to be said, one of the

most wildly popular. Whether it

is her insistence on sticking to

every minutest tittle of the

statute book (not in itself a bad

thing) or the curious stony-faced

expression she wears as she

quotes verbatim long extracts

from Union regulations Idon't

know, but nevertheless she is

becoming rather disliked by

several members of the Union,

and it was a close-run thing

when she was ill last week and

Council agreed to send her a Get

Well Soon card by fourteen

votes to twelve with three

abstentions.

One of the Honorary Secre

tary's jobs is the allocation of

parking permits, and it was

brought to my attention that

some malicious wit had sub

mitted an application in the

name of a fictitious student;

furthermore, this student had

been deemed worthy of a much-

coveted permit. After a little

research I managed to track

down the application in quest

ion, and feel it is worth reprod

ucing in full:

T am devout muslim and I have

come to college because there is

mosque on the College premises.

As for this I have to stay in

College in evening to pray before

I go away to home. So I have to

bring my prayer carpet into

College and it cannot go on the

i i i i i i •J-4.CCOICC 111 I I l"~l~l~|~

I I I I I I I

~ i ~ C i ~ i ~ i ~ r l _ J _ l I I I I I I I L I I I I I

• j j i i i i r i T i T r f i • i i i i i

i i i i i i i i " i j ~ i ~ r i ~ i - i " i ~ r j ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i ~ i " i ~ i ~ r ~i i p i —t i — i t i —

i i i i • i i

i i i i

~ r , i ~ r r

FELIX I October

train I am told this is so. My

unc le P a t r i c k who l ives in

Manchester pays for me and I do

not get money to travel publicly.

There is no money out of Iran

which I can lay my handes on.

But the most important reason I

think is that I have a chronic

sufferer. I have a disease called

Bilharzia which attacks. So I

have to get to College quickly. I

was lucky to get from Tehran

and if I cannot stay at College I

may be sent home so I pray to

the holy Imam and Allah my

Light and Savioiur that you will

grant this simple wish. May the

holy Allah be blessing you with

many children.'

F U N N Y H O W the practical

jokers, the rumour-spreaders,

the gossip columnists of this

world find it so difficult to

swallow a taste of their own

medicine. In last week's column

22,1982

I r e l a t e d s e v e r a l less t h a n

complimentary tales concerning

ex-Editor Steve Marshall. This

week I found him supposedly

working in the F E L I X Office on

his own. Being naturally curious,

and wondering what had in

duced him to lend his talents so

generously, I took a look at the

page he was working on, and

discovered, to no great surprise,

that he had been switching

round the signatures o n the

Letters to the Editor.

IT H A S almost become tradit

ional to criticise Victor Mooney

in this newspaper; how refresh

ing,' then, that his first mention

in this column is to commend

him for his humility last Satur

day when, in the absence of three

of his staff, he tied an apron

round his ample girth and spent

most of the afternoon washing

up.

|Poge5

Feast of Terror Danton's Death by Georg Biichner, in a version by Howard Brenton. Directed by Peter GUI, the Olivier, National Theatre.

T h e t u m u l t u o u s e v e n t s o c c u r r i n g in

revolutionary France in the year 1794 provide

the setting for Buchner 's Danton's Death. The

period of 'The Terror ' , when the guillotine

se ldom stood idle, provides a very fertile

ground for Buchner 's penetrating observation

of two opposing forces of man.

The two central characters are Danton

(p layed by B r i a n C o x ) a n d R o b e s p i e r r e

(excellently portrayed by T o m Georgesonk as

a very sinister character). Danton is a one-time

national hero who stands for freedom and

sensuality, but whose passivity against the

sweeping tide of the revolution hastens his

death at the hands of Robespierre. The latter

personality, who led the revolution at the time,

represents virtue and social order . B u t a

knowledge of the French Revolution is not

r e q u i r e d to a p p r e c i a t e B u c h n e r ' s s u p e r b

analysis of two opposing ideologies, attitudes

to life and personalities. The work is profound

and cooly analytic, turning over all kinds of

philosophical stones, but the epic drama an

a l m o s t s c i e n t i f i c o b j e c t i v i t y . T h e p l a y

r e p r e s e n t s qu i te a n i n t e l l e c t u a l feast , but

above all the National Theatre production is

very successful at sowing the seed of doubt.

O n e finds oneself quest ioning dearly held

beliefs, and in this respect the play is one of the

most disturbing one is likely to come across in

WALKABOUT-

LOOKS EC �� Inc.

Getting There

T h i s w e e k ' s o u t i n g i n v o l v e s a b i t m o r e

walkabout than the last one: the Tate Gallery,

Mil lbank. In true Brit ish style, as you emerge

from the tube station there are several well-

meaning signposts to the Tate, but the area is

currently full of roadworks and after a couple

of hundred yeards the useful signposts are

r e p l a c e d by b r i g h t y e l l o w o n e s s a y i n g

' D i v e r t e d T r a f f i c ' . . . n o m e n t i o n o f t h e

whereabouts of the Gallery. So I've drawn a

sketch map; it's about a three minute walk.

. The Tate houses a British Col lect ion of

works from the sixteenth century to around

1900 and the National Col lect ion of Modern

A r t : this consists of works by British artists

born after 1850, and of foreign works from

the Impressionists onwards.

T h e G a l l e r y a lso o rgan i ses t e m p o r a r y

e x h i b i t i o n s , b o t h major ones a n d s m a l l e r

displays. I went along this week to see two of

the small exhibitons.

Howard Hodgkin's Indian Leaves

These were made by Howard Hodgkin whilst

he was staying in Ahmedabad in November

1978. Every day he received leaves of specially

handmade paper, still wet from the factory, on

which he painted before they dried. The paints

used were the traditional vegetable dyes used

to coloukr Indian textiles: he asked for a

Mughal red, Indian ochre, as many different

greens as possible and so on. His 'Indian

Leaves ' have a tropical richness and intensity

of colour that convey most vividly the hot,

steamy-jungle atmosphere and the dust and

brightness of smarkets and fruits.

Each image is painted in two versions: they

REVIEWSLondon at the present time.

The play is all the more remarkable in that it

was written in 1835 when the author was a

m e r e t w e n t y - o n e - y e a r s - o l d . B u c h n e r is

perhaps more famous for his Woyzeck, but

Danton's Death shows not traces of its being

hastily written, composed as it was under great

pressure in less than five weeks (while he was

under close police surveillance for his political

activities).

M a n y of the cast have come straight from

the production of The Prince of Homburg by

von Kleist at the Cottesloe Theatre. Buchner

and von Kleist show remarkable similarities;

both had a scientific training, both wrote their

works when they were very young, and both

their style sare analytic and objective but

intensely dramatic. For those of you who ahve

seen The Prince (it is now finished), Danton's

Death makes an interesting comparison.

N i c k Bedding

picn/wiu A C C E P T ^ •Wt MARKET fftCfc 7 r

fdi. YooR. IAB90R, HHPCowUiNEtW

are hung as pairs. Variations are due to the

state of drying of the paper and the fact that

paper dried so rapidly in the heat of India,

decisions about composition and colouring

had to be taken almost instantly and there was

no time for reinterpretation between the two

versions. Another effect of working with wet

paper is that the dyes actually penetrate the

paper. They do not all mix equally well, giving

outlines either sharp or fuzzy and a surface

finish which shines like lacquer or is softly

matt. It's a fascinating process and the end

product is most evocative in India.

Prints in Gallery 61

T h e fifty-five pr in ts and w o r k s on paper

showing in Gallery 61 were mostly acquired by

the Tate in the last two years.

T h e w o r d ' p r i n t ' is a m u d d l i n g o n e

embracing anything from the pattern on a

piece of cloth, to the cheap copy of a V a n

G o g h painting. In this context it applies to the

g r a p h i c p r o c e s s e s of l i t h o g r a p h y , rel ief - ,

intaglio-, and screen-print ing. Rather than

painting directly on canvas or paper, the artist

first makes a 'tool ' and then uses it to produce

an 'edition' of identical impressions.

Seventeen different artists are represented,

and as many different approaches to 'art' .

What is the most minimal visual information

House of Wax Certificate AA, starring Vincent Price, Phyllis Kirk, now showing exclusively at ABC Fulham Road.

Following the unexpected success of Comin

at Ya (a rather poor Western) in Amer i ca ,

there has been a recent revival in 3-D films.

Not only are Jaws 3 and possibly Halloween 3

being filmed in the process, but also Friday the

13th, part 3 which has already opened in

Amer i ca .

O n the tail of the surge Warners have wisely

decided to revive the earliest and perhaps best

k n o w n 3 -D f i lm House of Wax ( w h i c h

catapulted Vincent Price to stardom in 1953).

Filmed in 'Natural Vis ion ' and 'WarnerColor ' it

is a beautiful and strangely atmospheric horror

film, which contains a few genuine shocks and

uses the process fairly effectively.

Vincent Price (in a part he has constantly

reprised during his career) plays Henry Jarrod ,

a brilliant wax sculptor who idolises his artistic

creations and resists his partner's attempts to

start a C h a m b e r of H o r r o r s . W h e n sa id

p a r t n e r b u r n s d o w n t h e i r u n s u c c e s s f u l

business for the insurance Jarrod disappears

and is presumed to be dead. The scene is set

A sample from Further Down on Maggie's

Farm by Steve Bell (Penguin £2.95). These two

frames are from the Adventures of L o r d G o d

Almighty, who joins Steve's other victims (the

government, Freddie Laker , the S D P , etc, etc)

in another of his very funny cartoon books.

necessary to define a work of art? This is the

question answered by Sol LeWitt ' s 'Lines in

Four Directions' and by the series of distorted

squares within circles of Robert Mangold: his is

a f a s c i n a t i n g e x p e r i m e n t in see ing v e r s u s

perceiving.

O t h e r w o r k s c o n c e r n n o t p e r c e p t u a l

abstraction but images grown from figures and

identifiable objects. Eduardo Paolozz'i's Heads

are delimited by struts and scaffolding. Their

internal workings are those of robots or space

stations and bear no relation to a dissection

class.

A n d some works are just plain witty. In

'Farm Animals ' , Marce l Broodthaers has given

county-show-specimens of cattle the names of

B M W , M e r c e d e s , e tc ! A t ongue - in - cheek

manipulation of the literal meaning we attach

to brand images created in glossy ads.

This little exhibition will appeal to anyone

with a visual sense of humour.

Where, when £?

B o t h exhibit ions are at the Tate G a l l e r y ,

Mil lbank, open Mon-Sat 10:00am-5:50pm, Sun

2:00-5:50pm. Howard Hodgkin's Indian Leaves

until N o v 7. Prints and W o r k s on Paper until

N o v 21. Both are free.

P o g e 6 | | O c t o b e r 2 2 , �� |

'Mango' (1978), one of a pair from 'Indian

Leaves'.

H n B B H B M H H H H H I I H P E U X

All it takes is a twist: Michael Caine explains to Christopher

Reeve how to escape from Houdini's handcuffs.

for his revenge and finally his grisly end.

The story (a cheeky rework of Phantom at

the Opera) stands up well as a period piece

and is hugely enjoyable as such. Price 's tones

are suitably Shakespearian and Phyllis K i rk

scurries away from the mysterious figure in

black with commendable haste, but melodrama

occasionally degenerates into farce. O n the

whole the film is a remarkable achievement—

even more so considering that the director was

blind in one eye and could never appreciate

the 3-D process itself.

This process is used well (especially when a

streetcaller advertising the waxworks bats

elasticated balls into the audience) and is more

effective than later efforts such as Parasite or

Dynasty. A s it is filmed in 'color' (sorry!) it also

beats other 3-D favourites like It Came From

Outer Space.

If you've never seen a 3-D film, then this is

the one to try. But a word of advice. The

exclusive presentation at A B C Fulham Road

means that seats tend to sell quickly, so book

in advance (especially at weekends).

Mark Smith

Deathtrap, featuring Michael Caine and Christopher Reeve.

When Ira Levin's stage play Deathtrap was

first produced in the West E n d it was widely

criticised as a blatant attempt to write another

Sleuth: an ingenious thriller with two acts, one

set, and five characters. The accusation could

never be denied, but this was no reason to

r e j e c t t h e p l a y as w o r t h l e s s , a n d i t s

subsequent record-breaking run proved this.

The film version demonstrates another facet of

Levin's play which it shares with Sleuth: it

doesn't work too well on the big screen.

There are several reasons for this. Primarily,

one of the main features of the plot is that

Sidney Bruhl (Michael Caine) is a playwright

working on a play called Deathtrap, which is in

two acts, one set, five characters, etc, and as

the story unfolds it becomes clear that the play

he is writing (within the play) is not only based

on a murder which has taken place in his own

house (ie the play Bruhl is writing is based on

Bruhl 's experiences) but at a different 'meta-

level' he is writing the Ira Levin play Deathtrap

i n w h i c h he is on ly one of the f i c t i t i ous

characters. Confused? Y o u won't be in the

film, because this element is partly missing.

Couldn't it have been rewritten to make Bruhl

a film director?

A s I mentioned, Deathtrap is a one set play,

and so when it is staged, every part of Sidney

Bruhl 's living room is continuously on view,

and so the audience becomes obsessed with

Bruhl 's impressively displayed collection of

weaponry, and when characters in turn reach

for gun or knife or whatever, there is a definite

thrill as you realise ' M y G o d , he's actually

going to use that thing.' In the film we are only

given occasional glimpses of the weapons

(since the camera is naturally focussed on the

acto'rs for most of the time) and so the effect is

considerably weakened.

M y final criticism is that the big surprises

d o n ' t w o r k , n o t a b l y o n e v e r y d r a m a t i c

entrance which is one of the most effective

shocks I have experienced in the theatre; in

the cinema it just isn't possible to startle an

audience in the same way merely by the

entrance of one character; cinema audiences

are used to so much more.

O n the credit side, special effects make

murder rather more effective than on stage

the director has taken the opportunity to wri (

in a chase around the home, and rhi ra

weak original ending has been completely

rewritten to allow one final twist Wnn c >uld

never be effectively portrayed on siuge. More

than this cannot '•„. - • d without revealing

FELIX • • • • • • • • B H H H I B B 9 I

details of the plot!

Conclusion? Despite the film's weaknesses,

the strength of the plot holds up, and it is

worth a visit if you missed the play. If, like me,

you saw the play, you'll know just what's

coming and will find the film something of a

letdown.

Martin S Taylor

Plague of

Graffitti Plague Dogs; Fast Times

Ever since Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin, man's best

friend has often been made the heroic subject

of a film, but rarely so poignantly as in Plague

Dogs, which has just opened at the Odeon

Haymarket . Richard Adams has recently fallen

out with the powers that be at the R S P C A , and

resigned as President because the hierarchy

weren't prepared to put a few noses out of

j o i n t o v e r a n i m a l r e s e a r c h . T h i s l a t e s t

adaptation of one of his books firmly puts his

case.

A n y o n e w h o saw Watership Down w i l l

recognise the animation style; Richard Adams

has brought together the same team once

again, and the result is a very polished style of

animation, with the bonus of an all-star cast

i n c l u d i n g J o h n H u r t a n d J a m e s B o l a m

providing the voices and the perennial Percy

Edwards for the sound effects; and we are

s p a r e d A r t G a r f u n k e l w a r b l i n g o n the

soundtrack.

O u r canine heroes escape from trie mental

a n d p h y s i c a l t o r t u r e of t h e r e s e a r c h

establishment and quickly have to come to

terms with life in the wild, living off livestock,

attracting the unfriendly attention of the local

farmers, until a rumour circulates that the

dogs may be infected with bubonic plague,

which was the subject of a top secret M o D

project at the lab.

A likeable, affectionate, if rather downbeat

film, which I'm sure' will be enjoyed by those

who liked Watership Down, so when your

unspeakable ten-year-old cousins are dumped

on you this Christmas, there are many worse

ways to keep them quiet for an afternoon. I'd

like to think that it would stimulate public

debate into animal research and vivisection,

but !': is almost too nice for this crusading tag.

My other f i lms theme isn't cruelty, unless

it's cruelty to the reviewer. If it wasn't for the

jolly nice seats in the review cinema and a

misplaced sense of duty to you, dear reader,

H H H B H October 22 , 1982 WKBBBBM

I'd have joined the rush for the door during

A m y Heckerling's Fast 1 Times which has just

opened at the Plaza, Leicester Square.

There have been innumerable attempts by

the cinema industry to reproduce the success

of American Graffitti but all have failed for

various reasons. This latest offering is an

adaptation of a book by C a m e r o n C r o w e who

claims to have attempted a piece of serious

sociological research into the modern teenage

culture by going back to high school 'under

cover' to observe his subject in its natural

habitat (I wonder if anyone spotted him).

What emerges is the usual self-indulgent

'boy did you ever miss out' view of adolescence.

'The Kids ' are precocious, promiscuous, and

provocative while at the same time vulnerable

and misunderstood. Are all American kids like

that? If so I'm glad I spent my formative years

this side of the Atlantic.

Where the film fails in comparison with •

American Graffitti is that the characters are

too thin; it fails to concentrate on a small group

of people, trying instead to explain the many

motivations and fantasies of its stereotypes as

it ridicules and dissects them. The warmth and

sympathy which worked so well in Graffitti is

somehow missing here and the soundtrack is a

rather mixed bunch of instantly forgettable

A m e r i c a n r o c k tunes r a t h e r t h a n d r i v i n g

rhythms.

The X certificate this film has attracted

because of the amount of time devoted to the

examination of Jennifer Jason Leigh's rather

non-descript figure, must somewhat lessen its

appeal, since it excludes those most likely to

identify with the central characters. But , those

of you who enjoyed Porkys will probcibly lap it

up.

Lee Paddon

IICU COUNCILI F E L I X proudly presents the:

Bluffers Guide to

IC Union To the uninitiated, the Union may appear to be nothing more than a

meeting place for hacks, a chance for self-glorification for a few

pompous individuals. The truth is somewhat different: much of the work

of the Union is concerned with the day-to-day administration of all the

clubs and societies and such 'hidden extras' as academic and social

welfare. Since there is often considerable misunderstanding or just

plain bewilderment about the various committees, Nick Pyne has set out

a brief account of how they function, their membership,'their

responsibilities, and some of their failings.

Union General

Meetings This is the sovereign body of the Union, and

can dictate policy to any Union committee.

U G M s are infrequent, and usually bogged

down in proceedure, so a smaller body exists

to fulfil this function in mundane matters—

the Union Council,

Union Council IC Union Council, 1' which consists of the

people whose mug shots you see here, has a

similar raison d'etre to U G M s . The idea is to

have representat ives of the v a r i o u s

viewpoints likely to be prevalent in College

so that a reasonable discussion of any points

of relevance to the Union in general can take

place, and not simply be decided by the

executive.

Council is supposed to meet regularly two

or three times a term to monitor some of the

th ings too m u n d a n e to be

brought to a U G M , as well as to

fill gaps in policy until further

policy can be formed at a U G M .

In practice, Council suffers

from much the same maladies as

does the U G M — p r o c e d u r a l

wrangles abound and towards

the end of the year Council is

rarely quorate. The situation is

aggravated by the fact that most

people know the others present,

and there are usually few there

who are totally sober, so meet

ings tend to d r a g on u n t i l

boredom or inquoracy (or just

occas ional ly there being no

further business) terminates the

meeting.

The Executive

S T E P H E N G O U L D E R

I C U P R E S I D E N T

7 I C U D E P U T Y

P R E S I D E N T

2* � � � Y � � � � � � N

I C U H O N � � � � � � � � Y

S T E P H E N B I S H O P

C I T Y � � D G U I L D S

U N I O N P R E S I D E N T

� ! L S C H M I D T " # $ % L C O L L E G E O F

S C I E N C E U N I O N

P R E S I D E N T

N I G E L & � ' ' S " # $ % L S C H O O L O F

M I N E S U N I O N

P R E S I D E N T

Major Subcommittees

� � � � ( � W T O N K S ) * +B � ( � , � � � N

S o c i e t i e s

Debating

Drama

Jazz

Opera

Film

Music

Choir Orchestra

M I K E P R O S S E R

P U B - . � � D � ( � , � � � N

IC Radio

STOIC

FELIX

The Phoenix

Handbook

Alternative Prospectus

/ 0 1 2 3 4 0N M I L L E R

S C C � ( � , � � � N

S o c i e t i e s

SDP H G Wells

UN Soc S F Soc

Ami-Apartheid

PATA FFF

Amnesty ICNAC

CND Vegsoc

Pimlico Connection

Catholic

Polish

Islam

Christian

Jewish

Chaplaincy-

Methodist

WIST

Industrial

Socialist

Labour

Conservative

Liberal

, � N B U L L C O L I N B U T T U R 5 6C � ( � , � � � N R C C � ( � , � � � N

C l u b s C l u b s

Bowling Badminton Riding Hamsoc

Volleyball Squash Chess Billiards

Karate Tennis Graffltti Mountaineering

Wing Chun Table Tennis Micro Scout and Guide

Sailing Football Model Aircraft Caving

Yacht Hockey- Gliding Surf

Boat Bridge Balloon

Swimming & Water Polo Real Ale Dancing

Angling Cricket Audio Youth Hostelling

Boardsailing Rugby- Canoe Hang Gliding

Cross Country- Judo Photographic War Games Ski Fencing Astrosoc

Cycling Rifle

Sporting Motorcycle

The Executive Because of size (not to mention the incredible tedium and frequent

inquoracy!), neither the Union Council, nor the U G M or available to

formulate Union policy on every point that may arise in the normal

running of IC Union. This task is fulfilled (to a greater or lesser

extent) by the U n i o n Executive Committee. This committee,

consisting of the sabbatical officers (not the F E L I X editor) and the

Constiuent College1 Union Presidents meets roughly weekly (or was it

weakly?) to decide on such points, but when necessary individual

members of the Executive will make decisions without consultation.

Al l members of the Executive are responsible to Union Council and

the U G M on matters concerning IC Union (though many C C U

matters are dealt with internally).

Union Finance

Committee This is independent of Council, and holds

the purse strings for the Union. Its members

are elected by a U G M specifically to sit on

this committee which allocates grants each

year to the various subcommittees and

O S C � ( � , � � � N

S o c i e t i e s

Pakistan

Afro-Caribbean

India

Chinese

Cypriot

Hellenic

Iranian

Latin American

� 7 8 � � W � ( � 9 9 � � D

S I L W O O D 9 � � K

C O M M � ( � , � � � N

Dr Ken Weale ICU Hon Senior Treasurer

C C U s . It also considers extra claims for

funds throughout the year, and generally

monitors the state of the Union's finances.

Other Subcommittees

JIM B O U C H E R

ICU A C A D E M I C

AFFAIRS OFFICER

SIMON R O D A N EXTERNAL AFFAIRS

OFFICER

J O N BARNETT

W E L F A R E OFFICER

J O H N F E R G U S O N

RAG CHAIRMAN

J O H N PASSMORE

POSTGRADUATE

AFFAIRS OFFICER

KEN Y O U N G

ICCAG CHAIRMAN

B Y L L WATERSON ENTERTAINMENTS

OFFICER

NICK H I L L PWP CHAIRMAN

BRIAN SHINDLER

C & G U AAO

H A Z E L C H E E S B R O U G H

R C S U AAO

J A M E S D E V L I N

R S M U AAO

Old Students' Representatives

FRED CANN

RCSA REP

KEN WILKINSON O L D CENTRALIANS

REPRESENTATIVE

P E T E LEWIS

RSMA REP

Subcommittees These are generally classified

into ' M a j o r Sub-Committees '

and 'Other Sub-Committees ' .

The distinction seems to be

based m a i n l y o n f i n a n c i a l

g r o u n d s — the m a j o r s u b

committees spending most of the

money—than on any qualitative

decis ion as to their relative

importance.

Each subcommittee is headed

by a chairman (or officer for

Welfare, External Affairs and

Academic Affairs) who repre

sents the views of the committee

to Council.

Poge8] | October 22,1982| |Poge9

LICU COUNCILI Bluffers Guide

continued

Major Sub-Committees

Athletics Clubs Committee

(ACC) is concerned with the

administration of the sports

clubs, dealing with individual

club's monetary allocations and

forming a source of positive

feedback on the sports needs

within College.

Social Clubs Committee (SCC)

has a similar function to A C C ,

dealing mostly with religious

and political societies, although

it encompasses other societies

which are 'social' rather than

'active' in aim.

Recreational Clubs Committee

(RCC) is again a similar idea,

although dealing mostly with

'games and hobbies' clubs. Often

the distinction between S C C and

R C C clubs is difficult to see!

Overseas Students Committee

(OSC) is not only concerned

with the running of the overseas

students ' societies, but also

provides a platform for making

the views of the Union known

about such matters as overseas

students fees, etc.

Social, Cultural and Amuse

ments Board (SCAB) deals with

anything that .could come under

the heading of 'performing arts'.

It continas the Music Society

which is an umbrella for the

Orchestra and the Choir.

P u b l i c a t i o n s B o a r d (Pub

B o a r d ) is p e r h a p s s l i g h t l y

misnamed, since it is concerned

with not just publications, but

with al l the student media ,

including IC Radio and S T O I C

as well as the publications side

(FELIX, The Phoenix, etc). It

should , of course, provide a

regulatory influence on publica

tions, but there seems precious

little evidence of this!

Silwood Park Committee. Sil-

wood Park is the College's field

station near Ascot , and this

committee is intended to repre

sent the views of the students

there to the bulk of the students

at Imperial, as well as covering

just about all the functions of the

Union at the Silwood Park Site.

Other Subcommittees

Academic Af fairs tries to

attain/maintain a high standard

of lecturing and practical work

throughout the departments at

College, as well as providing a

campaign platform for opposi

tion to cuts, etc.

Welfare is concerned with

provisions within College of

' w e l f a r e f a c i l i t i e s ' : H e a l t h

Centre, Student Services, etc.

Postgraduate Affairs forms the

basis for social interaction of

postgraduates (eg P G Plough-,

Page 10 I H B I H B f f i H B f f l H H B

man's Lunches) and a forum for

the d iscuss ion of problems

which refer explicitly to P G s —

timing of PhDs, grants, etc.

External Affairs deals with the

interaction between the Union

and outside bodies, principally

U L U and other London colleges,

the N U S (yes, we do still talk to

them sometimes) and so on.

Entertainments Committee

(Ents) is responsible for catering

for the entertainment of Joe

student. Less of a committee and

more of a clique, and to some

extent if your likes and theirs

don't coincide, then tough!

Rag Committee co-ordinates

the activities of C C U Rag as well

as deciding on the charities for

the year and (occasional ly)

organis ing stunts. It is res

ponsible for the paperwork:

p r o d u c i n g accounts , getting

. l i c e n c e s , etc, w h i c h it has

miserably failed to do in the past

few years!

Permanent Working Party

(PWP) is a kind of a Union

think-tank. The six (or less)

m e m b e r s get together a n d

brainstorm the boring things no-

one else can be bothered to

discuss. May be mandated (or

sometimes chose of its own

accord to stick its nose into

anything that happens at College

(or outside), and to deliver its

considered opinion to Council.

Other Important Independent

Union Committees

House Committee allocates

money to be spent to make the

Union less of a tip. It is res

ponsible for such monstrosities

as the U n i o n Lower Lounge

partition (an ill-fated monolith

of less than a year's duration),

the new Union Lower Lounge

and so on. Considering how

much money they spend, it's

amazing that there's never any

difference!

Internal Services deals with

things like Southside S h o p ,

B o o k s h o p , Games Machines ,

Haldane Library, Refectories,

etc. Rarely quorate and a real

pain at times this committee has

the potential to really get things

done. A pity really!

Transport Committee deals

with the failing health of the four

U n i o n vans and perpetual ly

moans that we can't afford new

ones. Suffers particularly from

the recession!

Safety Committee Notable by its

absence. Under the Health and

Safety at Work Act, the Union

has a legal obligation to have

one of these. Ooops, what a slip!

Other Committees

You may hear about such other

committees as Bar Committee,

Refectories Committee. Student

Residence Committee, and so

on. These are all part of College

administration and, although

the Union has representatives on

all of these, they are not directly

under Union control.

Departmental Representatives

Not the most keen and active

members of Union Council. Dep

Reps have few responsibilities

outside their C C U s . There is at

present a move underway to

remove them from Council.

So that's it. If you wish to

complain, you now know how, or

at least to whom it should be

done. I hope this has made the

mechanics of the Union a little

more understandable, and that

you might now choose to play a

part!

Pictured from left lo right the

Dep Reps are:

Top Row: Mines Res Eng

Gaynor Lewis: Elec Eng Gordon

Bowser.

Bouser.

Middle row: Met & Mat Sci

Charlotte Soulhall: Mech Eng

Raphael Tory: Aero Philip Adey:

Chem Eng Andrew McAuslan.

Bottom row: Maths Fiona

Whitelaw: Physics David Parry;

Chem Ged O'Shea; Life Sci Peter

Burl. ,

Percival Sydney, cool sedate

Poet presumptive, tool of fate,

Seeking as ever, ideas new,

Decided to stroll through a nearby zoo.

Laurie the lion, resting, still,

Dreaming of days of chase and kil l ,

Just one more rend, just one more splurge,

Savage, relentless, ancient urge.

A careless keeper, an opening prised,

A n d two ambitions were realised,

For Percival Sydney, cool sedate

Became the Poet Laurie-ate.

Geoffrey Reeves

The poem above was published in last year's edition of

The Phoenix, the magazine of IC Union.

D O Y O U H A V E A R T I S T I C OR L I T E R A R Y U R G E S ?

C A N Y O U C O N T R I B U T E IN A N Y O F T H E S E A R E A S ?

photographs - short stories - articles - poems

drawings - sketches - anecdotes

IF SO WE'D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU NOW!

Please send your contributions to the Felix Office

[October 22, 19821 I FELIX

I

ICLUBS & SOCIETIESI Science Fiction

N o w that you've all seen Blade Runner I can

reveal that ten seconds—and what is more

outrageous—the most vital ten seconds of the

whole film were missing.

Perhaps one of the gravest flaws in the film

(apart from the voice over) was the. ending.

Originally, before the sponsors shreaded the

celluloid, threw it in the air and stuck it back

together again in the name of commerciality,

the film ended with D ec k ard and the girl

replicant getting into the lift, after Deckard had

found the little paper unicorn on the floor

outside his flat. The significance of the unicorn

is lost until one discovers that the missing ten

s e c o n d s s h o w e d D e c k a r d d r e a m i n g of a

unicorn in the landscape seen at the end, just

after his encounter with Leon . The doubts (if

you had them) about Deckard 's identity are

confirmed and the ending, to my mind, is much

more satisfying.

Miranda F Smith the Anti-clone

Gliding Club G l a d to see a good t u r n out at the two

meetings we've had so far this term. Even

more pleasing is that a large proportion of

those present made the journey to the airfield

(Lasham nr Basingstoke) for that first taste of

this exhi larat ing sport : the air experience

flight. If you are not included in the above

category and you want to learn to fly, then

come and find out about the Gliding C lub . W e

meet every Thursday at 5:30pm in A e r o 254.

P S : Congratulations to Sue, our first solo

pilot of the term.

Film Society A r e you interested in film? W h y not join Fi lm

Society then; membership (includes all films

this term) is only £2.00. If you don't fancy

joining, why not come along just to see a

programme or two, membership for the night

will vary from 70p to 25p.

This week we are showing a film called The

Flicker, made in 1966; here are some reviews:

"The ultimate to date in the non-objective

film..Jt has only black and white frames...the

resulting strobe effect can...cause the illusion

of colour, of a spreading of light. Seeing the

Flicker will cause one in every fifteen thousand

to have an epileptic seizure."

—Sheldon Renan, An Introduction to the

American Underground Film

"...a sort of visual LSD, including

hallucinations...Some of these cats were

sitting stewing...as if watching Beethoven

himself play the 5th Piano Concerto."

-The Evening Star, Washington

P S : If anyone is interested in making film

come along and tell me—we may be able to get

a grant from the Union if enough people are

interested.

Jewish Society IC Jewish Society plans to host a series of

'very informal' Friday night meals; grace before

and after meals will be recited and whenever

possible there will be a guest speaker to

encourage discussion during the meal. The

first of these meals will be held Today, October

22 (see What 's O n for details). If interested

please bring, if at all possible, about £1 worth

of dairy or vegetarian kosher food to Beit A r c h

at 6:00pm, from there we shall go to a nearby,

r oom for the meal. A l l the food will be put

together on the table so that, with luck there

will be a large variety of foods to eat. The lively,

v i v a c i o u s a n d a t t r a c t i v e D a n n i e l l a , who-

happens to be a student Reform Rabbi as well,

will be joining us tonight.

Audio Society

How many r e c o r d s did you buy last y e a r ?

If the answer is one or more, then reading this

article could save you money! The fact is that

r e c o r d s a r e o v e r p r i c e d — p a r t i c u l a r l y in

L o n d o n where although the big names offer

attractive prices on Top 60 albums they make

all their profits on non-chart albums.

N O M O R E , the Aud io Society is proud to

offer t h r o u g h its new r e c o r d c l u b , A L L

currently available albums at the cheapest

prices possible. See below and calculate how

much you can save. Membership is only £1.60,

so come along to the Upper U n i o n Lounge

( n e x t to the U n i o n O f f i c e ) o n T u e s d a y

October 26 at 1:00pm.

Join us, order records and save money.

Typical Prices (Single Albums)

Aris ta , Char isma, Chrysal is

Decca , Phonogram, Polydor "£3.60

A & M , C B S , M C A , Pye,

V irg in , W E A £3.80

E M I , United Art ist , Island £3.85

R C A . £3.95

Independents £2.35 to £3.60

Audio Society Record Club-too good to miss!

&opal i§>tf)ool

of fflmt$

present

Paint Your Face

Discotheque Saturday 23 October 830 till late at

Imperia I College JCR

Tickets iTOO for painted faces all others X.1 40

Tickets available from ICU & C C U offices and at the door

Bookshop News

|| I have been tolerant, polite, even humorous. It

obviously doesn't have any effect on the small

number of people who think that because the

Bookshop is owned by the student union, they

can just walk in and help themselves.

If we catch anyone taking Bookshop stock

without paying, we will have no alternative but

to call the police.

It is because of the past history pilfering

within the College, that we have had to

Iunfortunately install Entry and Exit turnstiles,

a security guard, goods must be put in bags,

receipts must be given. I don't like any of it but,

as trie media says, it's a sign of the times. If

anyone sees people stealing from the

Bookshop, tell me. If they steal from us, they

could steal from you.

New Titles

Good food fromk Farthinghoe - Nicola. Cox,

Gollancz £8.50

Bosh & Nonsense - Edward Lear, Allen Lane

£5.95

Space Time & Medicine - Dossey, Shambhala

Pub £5.95

Nicholas Nickleby - Dickens, O U P £1.95

My Sweet Audrina - Andrews, Fontana £3.95

George Orwell, A Life - Crick, Penguin £2.95

Experiences of an Irish RM - Sommerville &

Ross, Dent £2.95

Card Games - Roberts, Foulsham £1.95

Wedding Speeches & Toasts - Jeffery, Foul

sham £1.00

High Pressure - Cooper & Davidson, Fontana

£1.95

The Hidden World - Leonard Cheshire, Fount £1.75

Spray It Loud - Sosener, RKP £2.95

History of Persian Earthquake - Ambraseys &

Melville, C U P £35.00.

Cycl ing

Dramsoc

Next Wednesday (see What's On) at 2:00pm

we shall be starting weekly workshops. These

should be a lot of fun, cons is t ing of

improvisation, acting, games, projection

training, make-up classes, etc.

The first will be in the Concert Hall, but all of

the rest will be held in the Upper Lounge.

Everyone is welcome to come along, even

Oliviers need practice!

Those of you more interested in the

technical side of stagecraft should also come

along to the Storeroom on Wednesdays to

help build sets for our forthcoming produc

tions.

Chris

Do you ride a bicycle or have you a bike which

you would like to ride? Ever wanted to do

more than ride it to College, or just make your

ride to College a little more comfortable? If it's

yes to any of the above you should consider

joining the newly formed IC Cycle Club.

The main activities relating to actual riding

are weekly runs for those who want just to

cycle for pleasure, race training and racing

itself for those who want to cycle for pain. The

weekly Sunday runs are already happening,

the others will follow when we get more

organised. Other plans include longer trips,

say for weekends, with this possibly including

cross -Channel excursions (when better

weather arrives).

The other main function of the club is to

provide members with the abilitiy to maintain

and improve their machines. To this end we

are already in the process of obtaining over

£300 worth of tools. This will allow members to

do anything from tightening loose nuts and

replacing broken spokes to building wheels

Hopefully the club will also soon be able to

acquire track bikes, essential for the racing

side of the club.

If you are interested, drop a note to our

esteemed Captain, Ronan McDonald (Maths

3) or come along to our regular Sunday ride

(Beit Arch at 10:00am).

Ric Jones (Vice Captain)

Cricket

Tour

B r i l l i a n t t o u r ! F i v e games

played, one was — the rest were

either...lost or drawn. No great

cricket but John Wints scored

two 50s and Jimmy Hutton did

the bowling honours including a

hat-trick. (God knows how with

his slow left-hand crap!) First

fixture cancelled due to rain,

drove directly to Torquay on the

last Tuesday of term. Presence

was felt—booted out of 'The

Musicians Bar', picked up by.the

police when we proved very

difficult to remove from a 'night

c l u b ' e s p e c i a l l y when P h i l

E a s t l a n d was a d a m a n t on

finishing the pint that he had

bought. Between arriving and

Sunday night J immy Hutton

and Chris Thomason downed the

fifty pint mark. A couple of

others requiring a little longer.

One night after the boys had

been on the beer—it was the

general consensus is that Garath

Fish should have a haircut.

Using nail scissors half of his

hair was removed—thanks to

being locked out of Garath's

room the job was left incomplete.

Neil Clarke was the unfortunate

subject of a classic comment

which was passed as he strode

in to bat against Plymstock:

" C o r ! Don't they grow worms

big in L o n d o n ! "

Rifle & Pistol

Despite a large turnout during

the first two weeks of term, good

shots are still required for both

internal and inter-university

teams. New features this year

include a club knockout compe

tition, ladies league and num

erous s h o u l d e r - t o - s h o u l d e r t

duels (Time Higgs' organisation

permitting). Some high scores

have already been registered this

term with Tim Higgs shooting a

magnificent '96' despite a poor

start to the season. (He said "It

would have been a '100', but

Steve Harrison was talking to

me!").

T o potential markspersons

who may have been put off by

the crowds in the range, please

make the effort to come along.

' E x p e r t ' t u i t i o n is a l w a y s

available.

Members are invited to attend

the open pistol competition and

c lub d i n n e r , to be held on

December 1. Don't worry if you

can't shoot , Steve H a r r i s o n

(Club Captain, contact via Elec

Eng letter-racks) could only

manage 4 out of 100 at his last

attempt. There will also be a

club social division pub visit on

Wednesday October 27 (next

week) see range officers for

details.

Squash

The club already anticipates a

very successful year following an

astonishing turnout at Freshers'

Fair, both in terms of potential

membership and depth of new

talent. At the league's A G M last

week this prompted us to enter

an IC V team into the newly

formed U L U S L 6th Division,

thus hopefully enabling more

players to compete in matches

during their time at IC. Partly

commensurate with this, but

also due to other considerations

the club is actively seeking ways

of increasing its share of the

total court time available at the

Sports Centre.

T h e first matches of this

season were played this week;

first r e s u l t — b e l o w strength

ladies team lost narrowly to

Bedford College 3-2.

The men's and ladies' ladders

are being established and will be

put up after the weekend; see

noticeboard at Sports Centre for

details.

Cross Country

The club had a very promising

start to the season competing in

the Southern Universities Cross

Country League on the first

Saturday of term. Running for

London Univ, we finished fifth

out of twenty-two teams (four of

the six scoring runners were

from IC), with newcomer Andrew

Griffiths finishing a creditable

fortieth despite r u n n i n g the

muddy six mile course in training

flats. In the ladies race Mandy

T i n d a l l s h o w e d that ear ly

morning training pays dividends

by finishing second to take the

London side into sixth position.

Not bad for a 1-member team.

Last Saturday on a very wet

H a m p s t e a d H e a t h the c lub

fielded two teams in the Univer

sity College Relays. G r a h a m

Harker and Hugh Dixon got the

first team off to a good start but

it took a fast last leg run by Jon

Lea to bring us into the top ten,

giving it plenty of time to get

back for the all-important cross

country tea.

ISPORT

^ Hockey

Firsts

I C vs U C L 7-0

A rainy day . but a p r o m i s i n g

start for the first eleven in their

first game of the season. W i t h

four new players in the side,

Imper ia l began the game eager

to show the f o rm that has w o n

us the Col lege league for the past

few years.

A f t e r a t e n t a t i v e s t a r t , I C

s t a r t e d s t r i n g i n g s o m e g o o d

passes together creating good

w i l l on the field a n d covering

back wel l . T h i s possession was

soon converted to a wel l - taken

goal by Garme- . a n d by hal f - t ime

the score was 3-0 U C L were

denied several chances in the

first ha l f by a good first per

formance by T o n y A t k i n s w h o

was substituted to a l l ow another

sweeper A n d y Stuart to play his

first game for Imper ia l .

T h e s e c o n d ha l f f o u n d I C

p lay ing more good open hockey

but the lack o f fitness was very

evident as the game progressed

(hmmm.. .Geof f . ' ) . H o w e v e r , a

f u r t h e r l o u r g o a l s — g i v i n g

G a r m e s a h a t t r i c k — e n d e d a

promis ing game. It won ' t be as

easy on Saturday . D o n ' t forget

t r a i n i n g . T u e s d a y 1 2 : 3 0 p m

U n i o n G y m .

T e a m : Ayres (2). Parker,

Riley. Bell (2). Garmes (}), Jones.

I-rank /in, Atkins. Hope, Stuart,

Bansal. Pitkethley.

Seconds

I C vs Amersham 1-1

The stench of the sti l l unwashed

f i r s t t e a m s h i r t s c i r c u l a t e d

a r o u n d the worr ied laces o f the

second team. W h o w o u l d go in

goal i f Skitter d i d not appear?

E ldr idge was the reply , at least

the mask w o u l d keep h i m quiet.

But then a flash o f light and the

goalie entered stage right. So out

into the w i n d and rain went the

brave bunch and f ound t h e m

selves immediate ly dominated

by a n A m e r s h a m t e a m w h o

rewarded any s k i l l on the part o f

I C with a tactless stick in the

legs. The team battled hard with

Slatter p lay ing a b l inder in goal .

( F o r once commented an u n k i n d

voice). Unfor tunate ly though we

were unable to stop the o p p o s i

t ion g rabb ing a short corner

goa l .

A tactical rearrangement at

hal f - t ime and also dec id ing to

d r o p to the oppos i t ion ' s level

produced a gritty a n d a mighty

phys ica l per formance . The I C

f o r w a r d s n o w r e m e m b e r i n g

where the goal was actual ly put

some shots in that d i rect ion and

somehow D u b l o n s k i managed

to slot in an equaliser through a

forest o f players.

So another good result for the

seconds main ly due to inspired

leadership (?) and a faultless

C u n n i n g h a m performance, but

then again Sweeper is such an

easy pos i t i on to p lay !

T e a m : Rolf, Pete, Andy, Tony,

Duncan, Pete, Chaz, Roger, Paul,

Simon, David, Nigel.

Thirds

In order to encourage a fast,

open game, I C 3rd X I chose to

play wi th only eight men on

S a t u r d a y . T h i s b r a v e t a c t i c a l

gamble n a r r o w l y fai led to pay

o f f d e s p i t e a s p i r i t e d p e r

formance f rom a l l concerned.

F i n e d e f e n s i v e w o r k f r o m

Bai ley and M o d l e y a n d a penalty

flick save f rom H e p p e r kept IC

in the game early on and gave

rise to numerous spir i ted charges

d o w n the field f rom W a r d , Jones

and act ing captain Purdy . C lose

to the oppos i t i on goa l , however,

I C f ound it di f f icult to break

d o w n a tight defence, a l though

Salter came close to scor ing on

several occasions.

I C s posit ive approach led (on

occasion) to a lack o f cover in

defence and O C ' s l ook advantage

o f the oppor tun i ty to score four

times d u r i n g the game. The fine

spirit in which the match was

p l a y e d was g r a p h i c a l l y i l l u s

trated when a mis-hit shot f rom

L y o n s was generously helped

into the goal by an oppos i t i on

defender—thus ensuring a well

deserved conso lat ion for I C at

the end of a strenuous afternoon.

Rugby

Firsts

I C vs St Thomas's 12-10

The match against St T h o m a s '

was played in the m o r n i n g d i u

to the I n t e r n a t i o n a l in the

a f ternoon , and as a result many

were s t i l l s u f f e r i n g f r o m the

n i g h t b e f o r e e s c a p a d e s . O n e

person even had make -up o n !

A n y w a y . St T h o m a s ' won the

toss and played with the w i n d .

A s a consequence I C were

immediate ly put under pressure

by the l ong k i cks o f their f l y -

h a l l . T h i s resulted, in them going

Breaking loose at Harlington. Photo: Steve Bishop

over for a try in the corner ;

p u t t i n g a p e n a l t y o v e r ; a n d

d r o p p i n g a goa l , in the first ten

minutes . 0-10. The I C forwards

now started to p lay , a n d the

front five were push ing their

o p p o n e n t s a l l o v e r the p a r t .

T h u s , at hal f - t ime I C were st i l l

on ly 10-0 d o w n .

In the second hal f the forwards

cont inued their d o m i n a n c e , a n d

I C spent the major i ty o f the t ime

in St T h o m a s ' 25 . T h i s was

rewarded wi th a try under the

post by W K i n g , after a for

w a r d s ' d r i v e ; a n d a p e n a l t y

w h i c h w a s c o n v e r t e d b y H

M c D o w a l l . The score was now

9-10 and though I C came close

on many occasions they c o u l d

not get the last score. H o w e v e r ,

in the last seconds of the match

I C were given another penalty in

front o f the posts. H M c D o w a l l

converted this , and IC won 12-

10.

T e a m : M Thompson. W Chap

man. H McDouall. G Pike. R

Fly nil. P Clarke. S Johns. I'

Richards, E Smith, J Manzoni, P

Verity, D McGee, J Davies, A

Ralph, II' King.

Seconds

I C vs Q E C 21-10

Wednesday October 13 saw I C

2nds kick o i l a brand new season

with their annual r o u n d L o n d o n

mystery tour . First stop on this

epic journey (organised by W

K i n g ) was C o l l i e r s W o o d , a

pleasant little suburb at the end

of the N o r t h e r n L i n e , apparently

l a ck ing in both pubs and rugby

teams. A f ter a quick spin of the

compass (and a few phone calls)

it was back up the northern line

and off to R i c h m o n d . A t this

point there were several remarks

to the tune o f ' O r a n g e Tree ' and

' Y o u n g s Special" , and even the

casual 'get pissed".

A f te r a r r i v i n g at R i c h m o n d it

was taxis tok Petersham a n d legs

the rest o f the wav. A generally

r i p - r o a r i n g game esult ing i n a

2 1 - 0 w i n f o r I C w i t h P e t e

Hardee , B i l l H i n m e r s a n d M a r k

S i m m o n s scor ing the tries.

Special awards go to E d ' I 've

left my kit in the t a x i ' O ' C o n n o r

and T i m ' I ' m not p l a y i n g any

more ' C a r r .

Puke of the week goes to W i l l

C h a p m a n , a nice effort straight

t h r o u g h t h e d o o r w a y f r o m

about five yards.

T e a m : Bell, Edwards, Scabies.

Carr, H ughes-N arborough,

Hinmers, O'Connor. Pierce,

Hutchinson. Clarke, Winsor.

Hardee. Chapman, Simmonds,

Eastland.

Football

Thirds

I C vs Kings ' 4-1

The 3rd X I ' s first league game

of the season, against K i n g s ' 2nd

X I at H a r l i n g t o n . d i d not begin

as we had hoped a n d by hal f -

t ime we were 1-0 d o w n . H o w e v e r

wi th increased organisat ion a n d

effort in the second ha l f we got

back into the game. G o a l s by

J o h n H e a l y a n d T o r s e n B e h l i n g

put us into the lead , before the

highl ight o f the game: a powerfu l

t o e - p o k e f r o m J o h n , f i r e d

straight at the goalkeeper , which

was somehow fumbled over the

l ine. A n o t h e r close range shot in

the last few minutes sealed our

first w in of the season.

Golf? It is extremely impor tant that

some member(s) o f the A C C

G o l f C l u b sees the A C C C h a i r

man as soon as poss ible , a v a i l

able in the U n i o n Off ice every

luncht ime . F a i l u r e to d o so by

F r i d a y N o v e m b e r 5 may result

in the suspension o f G o l f C l u b ' s

account .

FEUX lOctober 22, 1982 Page13

We're happy to Include all your events and fixtures In What's On, but please remember the deadline, 5:30pm, Monday.

J C R

1230h

Angling Club meet ing to a r

range a trip to W a l t h a m s t o w .

1300h U n i o n C o n c e r t H a l l

Islamic Society F r i d a y p r a y e r s '

1800h B e i t A r c h

J e w i s n Society Sabbath meal.

The cost of the kosher food will

be approximately £1

1930h U p p e r L o u n g e .

Latin-American Freshers' Party

RSM Paint Your Face on Satur

day.

2000h U L U

B u i l d i n g

ULU Ball M a n W i l l s o n is the m a i n at tract ion at this a l l -n ight

party. A d m i s s i o n £6.50 inc

even ing meal .

-With Carnival only three

weeks away this is probably not

worth attending unless you are

either a great fan of Mari

Willson or have absolutely

nothing to do.

2030h U n i o n

B u i l d i n g

IC Film Soc present The Flicker

(a short , but we i rd f i lm). 30p

a d m i s s i o n (free to m e m b e r s ) .

2200 3 0 1 m / 9 9 9 k H z

S o u t h s i d e B a r s

2 Pints...lC R a d i o ' s Fr iday

e v e n i n g p r o g r a m m e

-Is this really a radio programme?

2230h F a l m o u t h K i t c h e n s

Soup Run

mm**.

Mari Wilson who will be appearing at ULU tonight

A A A A I 3 0 1 m / 9 9 9 k H z Z U U U n S o u t h s i d e B a r s

Atomic Rock o n IC R a d i o

-// you haven't got anything

else to do, listen to Neil Collin's

programme featuring the new

Michael Schenkar Group al

bum.

Offbeat Classics Fancy an enjoyable day hearing various forms of 'classical'

music conducted by half-wits, blown on hosepipes and

generally mangled to pieces? If so it's time to raid the current

account and turn up at the Royal College of Music (the red

brick building between Aero and Mines) sometime after

10:00am on Saturday for Musithon, the highlight of the RCM

Centenary year. For the princely sum of fifty pence you get

admission to the building where you will be greeted by the

sounds of buskers, pipers and a computer. For the main

attractions of the day you will have to dig a little deeper into

your pockets, and you will then be, able to assail your ears

with 'Ten Harps, Ten Cellos, Ten Green Bottles' (RCM

olavinn around again?), 'Taling about Musithon', Musicmagic,

a concert by Peter Skellern, Musithon Cabaret and a concert

of Dixieland jazz.

'Talking about Musithon' features Antony Hopkins, one of

Radio Three's most popular music critics, talking about

Tchaikovsky's Fourth Symphony as never before.

'Conduct it Yourself allows absolutely anyone to try to

conduct the RCM orchestra or just to turn up and suffer as

others are conducting.

'Musithon Cabaret' is the event of the evening, Sir David

Willcocks hosts a multitude of stars from the musical world,

including Julian Lloyd-Webber, Jennifer Partridge, the Light

Blues, Raimund Herincx, Peggy Spencer, Tim Brooke-

Taylor (?) and many more.

Whether you want to just turn up and browse around the

RCM, or go to as many concerts as possible pick up a leaflet

with more details from the RCM foyer as soon as possible..

Satu rday

G900h

Rag Mag Trip to Oxford

G u i l d s U n i o n

Of f i ce

2030h JCR

RSM and Institut Frangais present Paint Your Face. £1

a d m i s s i o n for pa inted faces ,

o thers £1.40.

-Girls from the Institut Frangais

wi l l be there.

Sunday

100Qh C o n s o r t G a l l e r y

Communion Service

1100h Beit

A r c h

Cycling Club run to the L e a Val l ey a n d E p p i n g Forest .

Definitely not for those with a hangover.

1300h U n i o n S C R

Wargames Club p lay D u n g e o n s

a n d D r a g o n s .

1930h U n i o n

U p p e r L o u n g e

Cricket Club c h e e s e & wine . A d m i s s i o n £1.50 for freshers ;

others £ 2 .

-Not going to Australia with Mr

Willis

Monday

1230h R a g

Off ice

Community Action Group

Meeting

1245h U n i o n

U p p e r L o u n g e

Debating Society 'Th is H o u s e bel ieves that H u m a n N a t u r e is

not one of G r e e d , Se l f i shness ,

a n d V i o l e n c e ' . T h e r e wi l l be

free sherry for those with a

m e m b e r s h i p c a r d .

Pagel4 | October 22,1982] : FELIX

1900h E l e c

" o l Wellsoc general meeting fol

lowed by Doppelganger.

-An astronaut, played by Ian

Hendry, discovers a mirror

image earth on the other side

of the sun. The effects are by

Gerry Anderson of Thunder-

birds.

1930h J C R

Dancing Club Advanced Class

Tuesday

1245h Chemistry 231

Catholic Mass with lunch

provided for 30p.

1300h Chem

Eng LT2

Industrial Society present a

talk 'Exporting to J a p a n -

Mission Impossible?' given by

Mr Eddie Ripley from the

Department of Trade.

TV

Lounges 1300h STOIC broadcast

-If they would send me some

details I could tell you all about

it.

1300h Union Upper Lounge

Audio Soc Record Club Meet

ing

1300h Physics

LT2

MOPSOC present Prof Michael

Seaton of U C L who will talk on

'Quantum Defect Theory'.

IC Radio have three important

programmes this week

_ _ . Read Theatre

1330n Sherfield Building

Richard Dickins ends series on

the 'Evolution of the Orchestra'

with 'The Modern Orchestra'.

4 o o n u Pippard Theatre l O O U n Sherfield Building

Exploring the Uninhabitable

Tom Sheppard talks on 'Solo

Exploration in the Sahara'.

What a pity this excellent

series must come to an end.

Don't miss this last talk.

1730h Brown Committee Room

Amnesty International meeting

1730h Volleyball Court

Women's Volleyball Training

Session

1800h Union

Concert Hall

Socialist Society present a

speaker from the Ecology Party

-A must for all those who want

to hear an interesting talk on

whales, bicycles, etc.

1800h Union SCR

Wine Tasting Society claret

tasting. Admission £1 for

for members.

-All SDP members welcome.

1800h TV

Lounges

STOIC repeat the lunchtime

broadcast.

1900h Committee Room

Oramsoc brainstorming ses

sion to plan the sequel to last

•year's Edinburgh Fringe tour

1930h Opp Old

Chemistry

Ski Club dry slope skiing.

£2.50 for two hours skiing,

with free instruction.

1930h J C R

Dancing Club beginners class

j A o n u Q u i e t R o o m

lifOUn Sherlield Building

ICNAC present a slideshow of

the U S A and tell you how you

can go to the States next year.

Industrial Society are meeting at 1300h on Thursday to hear a talk

on Land Rover

2230h Falmouth Kitchens

Soup Run

Wednesday

1230h Southside

Upper Lounge

Scout and Guide Club trip to

the Sobell climbing wall and

sports centre.

-This wall is reckoned to be the

hardest climbing wall in

London.

1230h Under Union Clock

X-Country Club league match

Runners of all standards wel

come.

1230h Chem Eng E400

Methodist Society communion

service All Christians are

welcome.

1315h Beit Arch

Industrial Society visit to a

Sunblest bakery. Members

only.

Union

1400h Concert Hall

Dramsoc acting workshops

-Whether you want to act like

Koo Stark or Lord Olivier,

Dramsoc will be able to help

2000h 301m/999kHz

Southside Bars

IC Radio present Alfred

Freudenberger—the sound of

America in South Ken.

Thursday

1230h Southside Upper Lounge

ICYHA butties meeting

Jolly yomping chaps.

1230h Mines

303

Scout and Guide Club present

a talk on natural history.

1240h Upper Southside Bar

Model Aero Club meeting

1300h Chem Eng

LT2

Industrial Society present

Mr R H Turner, director of

finance Land Rover, who will

talk on 'The Land Rover—A

Success for British Industry'.

- / fee/ sure Mr Turner will take

pleasure in explaining how the

Land Rover has clobbered

overseas competition.

1300h Green Committee Room

Sci Fi Club quiz

1415h

FEUXI |October22,19821

Royal

Albert Hall

Presentation Ceremony to

mark Commemoration Day.

Students without tickets will be

admitted before 2:15pm on

production of their unioncard.

-This is the annual presenta

tion of awards by each of the

three constituent colleges. This

is perhaps not the most ex

citing event of the week and

will not attract a vast attend

ance despite the fact it is quite

interesting to see where you

will hopefully be in years to

come.

1730h Aero 254

Gliding Club meeting.

| Page. 5

continued from front page

G e n e r a l , not w ish ing to take the

b lame for the u n p o p u l a r fares

rise, gave the G L C a dispensa

t i on to keep their fares increase

b e l o w 5 0 % . M r L i v i n g s t o n e

rejoices in future possibi l i t ies for

L a b o u r governments: dispensing

local authorit ies f r o m c o m p l i

ance with hangovers o f T o r y

legis lat ion. H e mainta ins that

t h e c o u r t c a s e w a s ' W a r i n

P r i n c i p l e ' a n d that legal au thor

i t i e s were d e v a s t a t e d by the

a d v e r s e r e s u l t . M r s T h a t c h e r

w o u l d r a t h e r g i v e i n t o t h e

Argent in ians than give in to the

G L C , he sa id . F u r t h e r fare cuts

are apparent ly i n the pipel ine

after the end of the financial year

despite government demands for

a t w e l v e p e r c e n t r i s e . K e n

L iv ings tone believes that there

w i l l h a v e to be a d r a m a t i c

t u r n a r o u n d in pub l i c transport

to prevent v i ta l business being

sucked out o f L o n d o n by the

new orbit M 2 5 motorway .

O n C i v i l Defence the speech

moved f r o m black h u m o u r , to

deadly seriousness. I f there is a

n u c l e a r w a r , M r L i v i n g s t o n e

w o u l d be required to help the

m i l i t a r y t o r o o t out C N D

a c t i v i s t s ( n o d o u b t i n c l u d i n g

himself) . H e described in graphic

detai l the horr i f y ing six m i l l i o n

d e a t h r o l l o f a t w o m e g a t o n

strike. Protect and Survive he

described as a monumenta l t o n

descr ibing the whole exercise as

a d e l i b e r a t e l i e . T h e G L C

intends to go into open conflict

w i th the government over the

N u c l e a r Free Z one for L o n d o n

a n d h o p e s to f o r c e a n o p e n

P a r l i a m e n t a r y d e b a t e o n the

conf ident ia l Queens Order T w o

p lan to seal off L o n d o n .

There were several questions

after the speech. The question o f

rates was raised, f rom several

a n g l e s , a n d M r L i v i n g s t o n e

po inted out that the Fare ' s F a i r

po l i cy wi th a comparable gov

ernment subsidy cou ld put 15p

on the rates; without subsidy it

w o u l d cost £1.50.

Debsoc

Comes Out

The newly reconstituted D e b a t

ing Society held its first event for

f o u r years o n M o n d a y . T h e

m o t i o n ' T h i s H o u s e believes that

Mul t i la tera l i s t s live in a D r e a m

W o r l d ' , proposed by M i c h a e l

N o r m a n a n d seconded by L a

Ia t rou , was defeated by N i c k

Sketch , who was seconded by

Stephen C u r r y .

W i t h the Dossible exception o f

M i s s Ia t rou , o f a l l the speakers

h a d o b v i o u s l y h a d p r e v i o u s

d e b a t i n g e x p e r i e n c e . M o s t

impressive was M r C u r r y , whose

technique a n d use o f c h a r m i n g

metaphors complemented M r

Sketch 's so l id arguments. In the

vot ing at the end, the oppos i t i on

received three times as many

votes as the proposers .

M e m b e r s h i p o f the s o c i e t y

now stands at over fifty, most o f

w h o m are expected to speak at

l e a s t o n c e e v e r y y e a r ; t h e

o r g a n i s e r s are d e t e r m i n e d t o

a v o i d regular speakers. Future

e v e n t s i n c l u d e a d e b a t e o n

P u b l i c S c h o o l s w i t h e x t e r n a l

speakers, i n c l u d i n g a C o n s e r v a

tive M P and the C h a i r m a n o f the

I L E A . Free sherry w i l l be on

offer next week as an added

inducement to attend the debate

o n the H e a l t h Service.

P I N O C C H I O • mmmmammmmmammmm in order to make some money and relieve the

burden on the hard-pressed taxpayer, British

Rail intend to operate some special excursions

on the scenic route between the resorts of

H i g h e r P a y r i s e a n d K i H i n b u c k t o n . K i l l i n

buckton is a terminus (the last resort?), and

the train will have to be turned around. The

train is to comprise the steam locomotive 'the

F ly ing P i c k e t ' , one s e c ond class car , one

restaurant car, and a Pullman observation car,

with windows in the rear.

The layout of track at Ki l l inbuckton is in the

form of a triangle, as shown. The figures

indicate how many vehicles will fit in each

section of track.

The problem, then, is this:

1. The train arrives from Higher Payrise in

the order: locomotive, second class coach,

restaurant car, Pullman car; it must leave in

the same order, but facing in the opposite

direction.

2. The locomotive and the Pullman car

must have been turned around when they

leave, the restaurant car and the second class

coach need not be.

3. Ki l l inbuckton is entirely flat, hence no

rolling of vehicles is allowed.

4. Nothing can move without being coupled

to the locomotive.

5. Everything must be at a standstill for

c o u p l i n g or u n c o u p l i n g to take p lace (no

'pushing').

What is the minimum number of moves

required to turn the train (the first move

starts with the train standing on the line from

Higher Payrise; a move ends whenever the

locomotive has to stop for coupling, uncoupling

or a change of direction)?

Solutions, comments,criticisms to me at the

FELIX Office by Wednesday, 1:00pm. £5 from

Menda-Bike for a randomly selected entry.

The terminus at Kil l inbuckton

Last Week's Solution

Last week's problem was rather trivial, but

for those of you who failed to obtain the

solution,

Quent in went with M a r y

Richard went with Mungo

Steve went with Mandy

T i m went with Midge

Of the sixteen entries, the winner was, for

the second time, J i m W a r d of C h e m Eng 1 (I

a s s u r e y o u I d o n ' t k n o w h i m ! ) , w h o can

collect his prize on Monday (after 1:30pm

please).

General Reisenschein

A l l right, I'm sorry, in the second statement

of General Reisenschein's problem I did use

the word 'congruent'. What I meant was, the

same size and shape, and I was just saving

space, and unfortunately, making a mistake at

the same time. Also , I shall admit that the

dissection is not terribly convenient for offices,

consisting as it does, of two rooms, but here

you are, the moment you've all been waiting

for.

General Reisenschein's Offices

O n the second try, nineteen people solved

the problem, and the winner(s) chosen at

r a n d o m was G a r y S m i t h , C i v E n g 3, in

collaboration with Susan Griffiths, and Gary

can pick up the cheque on Monday from the

F E L I X Office.

Banana's Revenge

Congratulations to anyone who managed to

solve this problem. A solution, and, I suspect,

the unique solution, is

1. P-K4 N - K B 3

2. P - K B 3 N x P

3. Q - K 2 N - N 6

4. Q x P c h Q x Q c h

5. K-B2 N x R mate

If you want to advertise any event by use of

a puzzle in this column, then drop me a note,

saying what prize you're going to donate (eg

the orchestra will be giving away two tickets

for their concert), and what you'd like the

puzzle to be about. About three weeks notice

(or more!) would be appreciated, but 1 must

know at least a fortnight before the event. If

you wish to take advantage of this special offer

(before it runs out!) drop a line to me in the

Pinocchio box in the F E L I X Office.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB.

Tel. Oi-589 5111 Ext 1048 or Internal 288/. Editor: Martin S Taylor; Business Manager: Peter A Rodgers: Advertising Manager: Nick Thexton. Copyright FELIX 1982.

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