Document

F O U N D E D IN 1949 NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

F E L I X D I N N E R

Cl on 17 M A Y T I C K E T S

rom the F E L I X O F F I C E .

EN L Y £4.50 s i n g l e and

8.00 doub le .

N o . 418 F r i d a y 7th May , 1976 F R E E !

p

Bike thefts A B I C Y C L E , be long ing to Mr

R B J o c e , was s to len l a s t

Wednesday from the rear of the

C h e m i c a l Eng inee r i ng depart­

ment. T h e b i c y c l e , a red ,

10—speed Styer C lubman wi th

a 24 . - inch frame, i s va lued at

£80.

T h e b i c y c l e was cha ined

but not to a f i xed ob jec t and

was removed dur ing the day .

T h i s inc iden t i s the l a tes t

in a s e r i e s of thefts that have

taken p l a c e recen t l y . Most of

the thef ts take p l a c e dur ing

the day and are u s u a l l y by

schoo l ch i l d ren p l a y i n g truant,

s a i d Mr Dawson the C o l l e g e

Secur i ty O f f i ce r .

The C o l l e g e i s becoming

i n c r e a s i n g l y concerned over

these thef ts . Mr D a w s o n i s

a s k i n g a l l b i c y c l e owners to

ensure that thei r c y c l e s are

secu re l y fas tened and to

report thef ts immed ia te ly .

A n y in format ion on the m i s s i n g

b i c y c l e s shou ld be d i rec ted to

him at the Secur i ty O f f i c e in

the Sher f i e ld B u i l d i n g .

Loo

change­

over Members of the Union are

hereby informed that from

Monday 17 May, the men's

to i le ts near the Union

Lower Refectory wil l

become the ladies to i le ts ,

and the lad ies toi lets on

the first floor of the bui ld ­

ing opposi te the ICWA

lounge wil l become the

men's to i le ts . T h i s wi l l

remain in force until further

not ice.

Scandalous says Teague IT A P P E A R S that the

Hardship Fund set up by

the U G C in a l l un ivers i t ies

is to be phased out'. T h i s

i s the impl icat ion of a

U G C di rect ive sent to

the C o l l e g e v ia the

Univers i ty of London'.

Only those students who

were he lped by the F u n d th is

s e s s i o n c a n be he lped aga in

nex t s e s s i o n , but on ly i n

respec t of the £70 inc rease

implemented th i s s e s s i o n . It

w i l l not be p o s s i b l e to use

the F u n d to he lp f reshers

and s tudents who have not

used the F u n d before when the

30% i n c r e a s e i n f ees i s

implemented next s e s s i o n .

Over £11,000 has been p a i d

out of the C o l l e g e ' s Hardsh ip

F u n d to 33 home s tudents and

127 o v e r s e a s students up t i l l

l as t Feb rua ry . T h e Hardsh ip

F u n d wou ld have to be a b o l i s h ­

ed once a l l the con t i nu ing

s tudents us i ng the F u n d had

left the C o l l e g e . The U G C h a s

yet to i s s u e a p o l i c y statement

over the q u e s t i o n o f the F u n d .

In a let ter to Mr Pe te r

Teague I C U P r e s i d e n t ,

in forming h im of th is ru l i ng ,

M r P e t e r M e e , C o l l e g e R e g i s t r a r

s a y s there i s no i nd i ca t i on

that th is ru l i ng was l i k e l y to

be changed .

Mr Teague has wr i t ten to

the R e c t o r over the matter . H e

has a l s o wr i t ten to the N U S

who apparent ly d id not know of

th is r u l i ng . Comment ing on the

ru l i ng , Mr Teague s a i d i t was

" t o t a l l y s c a n d u l o u s " . H e w i l l

be a s k i n g the R e c t o r to s tand

by h i s p ledge that no student

w i l l have to leave the C o l l e g e

due to the i nc rease in tu i t i on

f ees .

Mr D a v i e s , the C o l l e g e

Secre tary , s a i d yes te rday that

he stood by the R e c t o r ' s

s tatement . Students i n

f i n a n c i a l d i f f i cu l t y unable to

use the F u n d next s e s s i o n

" w i l l be sympa the t i ca l l y

cons ide re d by the C o l l e g e " ,

he s a i d .

Hain back at IC F O R M E R IC s tudent , P e t e r

H a i n , in conve rsa t i on l a s t

T u e s d a y , urged the C o l l e g e

to boycot t South A f r i c a n

goods and break off a l l l i n k s

w i th apar the id .

Mr H a i n was speak ing at a

meet ing of the L i b e r a l C l u b .

In h i s ta l k he dea l t w i th

i den t i f i ca t i on e v i d e n c e i n

c r im ina l p r o s e c u t i o n s , u s i n g

h i s own recent expe r i ence as

a graph ic i l l u s t r a t i o n of how

the law c a n go wrong. He

warned that a comple te ly

innocent bys tander c o u l d be

p l u c k e d out and a " d e m o r a l i s i n g

and te r r i f y ing e x p e r i e n c e " ,

i n f l i c t e d upon h im i n w h i c h ,

" f a c t s become d r e a m s . "

D i s c u s s i n g h i s c a s e , he

r e v e a l e d that the t r i a l had

"g round t h r o u g h " for two

w e e k s , spend ing £50,000 of

p u b l i c money, on the e v i d e n c e

o f three schoo lboys and a

f l ee t i ng g l i m p s e , by a c a s h i e r ,

o f the bankrobber . H e d i d not

th ink that the c a s h i e r , who

iden t i f i ed h i m , was d i s h o n e s t ,

merely m i s t a k e n . She h a d p i c k e d

h im out i n an ident i t y parade;

on the same day the E v e n i n g

Standard ca r r i ed a photograph of

Mr H a i n . Howeve r , f i ve other

w i t n e s s e s s t i l l f a i l e d to

ident i fy h i m .

H e c l a i m e d that there

were a whole s e r i e s o f

" t r i g g e r h a p p y " p o l i c e

p rosecu t i ons on doubt fu l

i d e n t i f i c a t i o n e v i d e n c e and

c i t e d the now famous c a s e of

George D a v i s ( O K ? ) .

P r o s e c u t i o n s brought s o l e l y

o n i den t i f i ca t i on ev idence

" p r o v i d e d more i n j u s t i c e s

than any other par t of the

L a w " and he advoca ted that

no-one shou ld be charged on

i d e n t i f i c a t i o n ev idence wi thout

cor robora t ion . Mr H a i n d i d

not d i s m i s s the no t ion that a

South A f r i c a n agent in L o n d o n

was d i s c r e d i t i n g h i m , but he

thought it u n l i k e l y .

Pefer Hain

A n s w e r i n g q u e s t i o n s

a f te rwards , Mr H a i n , a w e l l

known ant i -apar the id cam­

pa igner s i n c e h i s d a y s in

M e c h E n g I, (he s topped the

'70 tour), thought that B r i t a i n

shou ld he lp fund the South

A f r i c a n l i be ra t i on movements .

R h o d e s i a and South West

A f r i c a wou ld a lmost ce r t a i n l y

a c h i e v e major i ty r u l e , and i t

was better that the t rans i t i on

be se i f t . H e s a w no a l te rna t i ve

to armed s t rugg le . " U n f o r t u n ­

a te ly v i o l e n c e w o r k s " , he

s a i d . T h e future o f South

A f r i c a he b e l i e v e d to be in

the hands of the U S A and he

we lcomed Dr K i s s i n g e r ' s

statement o f support for

A f r i c a n N a t i o n a l i s t s .

F i n a l l y , P e t e r H a i n , b i l l e d

a s " e v e r y b o d y ' s favour i te

r a d i c a l " , a l s o c r i t i c i s e d

Jeremy T h o r p e ' s i d e a of the

L i b e r a l P a r t y a s , " 5 0 yea rs

out od a t e . " A n y o n e b e l i e v i n g

i n the L i b e r a l s t rad i t i ona l

s t a n c e , he thought shou ld j o i n

the L a b o u r P a r t y , the L i b e r a l

P a r t y was not a par ty of

Government but a " r a d i c a '

a l t e r n a t i v e . "

2 m m

s m a l l a d s DEBATING S O CI E TY WANTED

Flat for 4 persons near' the college from September. Contact Joanna Smith via Life Sciences letter-rack^^

COLOUR PHOTOS

U R G E N T L Y WANTED

Anybody who has any colour photos (trans­parencies or prints) of events at IC, particularly Morphy Day and Rag events, is asked to contact Paul Ekpenyong or Clive Dewey at the FELIX Office as soon as possible.

FOR SALE AKAI 4000 UB. 1 year old. Good condition. £165 ono. (Price inclusive of KOSS headphones KO 727B in good nick, dust cover and spare spool). Contact Paul Ekpenyong in the FELIX office Int 2881.

Orienteering Cub Meeting and Lunch

12.30pm Union SCR

WANTED A Sennet Officer to liaise with said newspaper on IC matters. Budding journalists should contact Derrick Everett in the Union Office.

SUMMER F L A T S 11 anyone hat, a flat they would like to let to IC students over the summer vacation or if they would like to rent one, could they please see Dave Ra wns 1 ey (Studen t R es idence officer) in the Union Office.

FOUND A purse belonging to SA JACKSON has been found in the Seven Kings district and handed in to Ilford Police Station. Could Mr/ Ms Jackson please contact Jen in the Union Office as soon as possible.

Socialist Society

AGM

Tues 11th May

1.00pm

Union SCR

Accommodation For Students Already At T h e Univers i ty

Sess ion 1976/77

1. S i n g l e s tuden ts requiring accommodation a) room plus breakfast with/without other meals,

single or shared b) room with cooking facilities, single or shared (for

flats see 2 below) should apply by appointment to the appropriate branch of the Accommodation Office between mid-May and the end of term, preferably when they have a few free days in order to look at addresses. An address can then be reserved provisionally, no retaining fee is payable over the summer for bookings made at this time, but a deposit may be required.

After the end of term p r io r i ty for these types of accommodation is given to students who will be new to London in October.

2. S ing le s tudents requiring a flat for two or more people (ie one room plus) own kitchen, or larger)

may enquire from mid-May onwards whether any offers of this type have been made for October but, with only a few exceptions, it is not possible to book flats in advance (unless full rent is to be paid throughout the vacation). Therefore it is generally fruitless to begin the search until about three weeks before the f i rs t rent payment can be made, and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.

3. Mar r ied s tudents should apply by appointment (to the Malet Street Office), about three weeks before the f i rs t rent payment can be made and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.

A S T H E M O R E observant of

you w i l l have no t i ced , a new

s o c i e t y h a s recent ly been

formed, the Imperial C o l l e g e

Deba t i ng Soc ie t y . Some of us

w i th cu l tu ra l and ora to r i ca l

l ean ings had not iced the

s e r i o u s lack of regular

debate w i th in the C o l l e g e ,

and have gone

t rouble to remedy

d e f i c i e n c y .

Our introductory

took p lace at the end

term, at tended by many

in te res ted pe r sons . A f te r

comp le t i ng the ted ious d e t a i l s

of d e c i d i n g on our cons t i t u t i on

and e l e c t i n g a fu l l complement

of commit tee members, there

w a s much d i s c u s s i o n about

future meetn igs . Our a im is to

i nvo l ve throughout the C o l l e g e ,

both s tudents and staff in

thought-provok ing d i s c u s s i o n .

to some th is sad

meet ing

of last

T h e leve l of debate w i l l be

main ta ined between that of a

s e r i o u s ICU p o l i t i c a l debate

and the more l ight-hear ted

d i s c u s s i o n s to be found at

C C U meet ings . A s an en ­

couragement to p rospec t i ve

members, we a l ready have

two c u p s to be won : a

f r e s h e r ' s cup , and a trophy

for debate between the

three cons t i tuent c o l l e g e

u n i o n s .

The f i rs t meet ing of the

s o c i e t y w i l l take p lace

around the third week of th is

term, the motion under debate

be ing : "This house believes

an Arts faculty would lower

the standard of excellence at

Imperial College". A H

in teres ted par t ies shou ld

at tend th is meet ing , d e t a i l s

of w h i c h w i l l be adver t i sed

throughout C o l l e g e .

H a v e you bought any fau l ty goods l a t e l y ? H a v i n g t rouble w i th the land lo rd? Had a car a c c i d e n t ? Go t to appear in cour t?

KNOW your legal rights!

There is free legal advice given by LSE Law students every Wednesday at the Student Welfare Centre from 12.30- 1.30pm at the top of the Union Building.

The Centre is open Mon — Fri, 12.30 — 1.30pm for general info on contraception, abortion, accommodation, N H S benefits etc. Tube and bus maps given away. Time Out and N U S discount handbook available for consultation.

H A L L DINNERS - SUMMER TERM 1976.

Held on T u e s d a y evenings in the Sherfield Building. 7.00 - 7.30pm Sherry. 7.30pm Dinner.

C h a r g e s :

Dates":

D r e s s :

Hall Dinner. £1.95p (plus lOp sherry) Wine Hall Dinner £2.75p (wine and sherry included)

11th May 25th May - Wine Hall Dinner. 8th June

22nd June — Wine Hall Dinner

Lounge suits, except for the last Wine Hall Dinner of term when evening dress (black tie) will be worn.

C h e q u e s : Made payable to "Imperial College'

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S to

Anne Johnso n & J a m i e S 'ee

on the i r engaging enterpr ise

—Love and P e a c e

A H their f r iends

N O T I C E The BBC would like student's to participate in live discussion programme (very general discussion). Starting next term (live broadcasts). Anyone interested see Derrick Everett.

U

GREAT HALL 1p

Pictures by Phil Dean

FELIX Photographic Competition

The compet i t ion i s open to a l l s taf f and s tudents of Imper ia l C o l l e g e , except members of the F E L I X staf f . T h i s year a l l en t r ies must be B&W or C o l o u r p r i n t s . There w i l l be nine c a t e g o r i e s :

General

1. P r i n t s must p o s s e s s a sur face area greater than 48sq i n c h e s . 2 . P r i n t s may be mounted or unmounted. On ly unmounted p r in ts may be reproduced.

3 . F E L I X rese rves the right to reproduce any en t r i es . On ly p r in ts made on g l o s s y paper may be reproduced .

4 . If there are i n s u f f i c i e n t en t r ies for any of the ca tego r i es pr in ts entered for those ca tego r i es wH l be judged under th ; G ene r a l s e c t i o n .

5. E n t r i e s shou ld have the name, department and year of the photographer at tached to each pr in t . 6. There i s an ent rance fee of lOp per compet i to r . A l l f ees w i l l be added to the p r i z e money.

7. L a s t date for entry i s 2.00pm on F r i d a y 21st M a y . 8. There w i l l be c a s h p r i z e s . 9 . T h e judges d e c i s i o n w i l l be f i n a l .

10. P r i n t s shou ld be de l i ve red to the F E L I X o f f i c e .

B & W C O L O U R Portrait L a n d s c a p e NaturaJ History General

Portrait L a n d s c a p e Natural History Photojournal ism

4 m i x

A Taxing T H E S T A N D A R D sys tem of

personal t a x a t i o n - in th i s

cou/ i t ry i s the " P a y A s Y o u

E a r n " , ( P A Y E ) sys tem wh ich

opera tes a s f o l l o w s : -

E a c h Taxpayer is a l l o w e d

to earn a cer ta in amount of

money free of tax each year ,

and only pays tax on what he

earns over th i s amount. T h i s

amount c a l l e d your ' a l l o w a n c e ' ,

va r i es from person to person

and is dependant on personal

c i r cums tances (mari tal s t a tus ,

no. of ch i l d ren e tc ) . F o r

examp le , the a l l o w a n c e for a

s i n g l e person i s cur rent ly

£675 pa (soon to be more,

T U C w i l l i n g ) .

T h i s a l l owance i s s p l i t

equa l l y over the week s o' the

year (tax yea r , that is) s o that

each week you w i l l have 1/52

of your a l l o w a n c e as f ree-pay,

that i s , not taxed . The w e e k s

of the tax year are numbered

from 1 to 52 (5th A p r i l onwards)

and the sys tem operates

c u m u l a t i v e l y . The tax paid in

any week is c a l c u l a t e d in the

f o l l ow ing way : -

Problem? 1. F i n d total pay to date

( inc . th i s week) for current

tax year .

2 . F i n d total tax pa id to date

for current tax year .

3 . F i n d free-pay to da te

( a l l o w a n c e / 5 2 x tax week no.)

T a x th i s week -

(1 - 3) x 35%) - 2

tax-rate - 35%

T h i s i s f ine if you happen

to be in fu l l - t ime employment .

It becomes much more

comp l i ca ted if you are a

student — you w i l l on ly be

work ing a few week s in the

yea r . C o n s i d e r a s i n g l e

s tudent , work ing over the

E a s t e r r e c e s s , earn ing £40pw

and returning to c o l l e g e on

26th A p r i l .

Rather than (s ic ) mess

about l i ke t h i s the T a x m a n

has arranged a s p e c i a l

c o n c e s s i o n for s tudents

whereby they s i gn an under­

tak ing not to earn more than

thei r a l l o w a n c e in the tax-

year and he does not keep on

tak ing it away wi th one hand

and g i v i n g it back w i th the

other .

T h i s does not mean that

s tudents are exempt from

pay ing Income Tax (a popular

m isconcep t i on ) . They are just

a s l i ab le ; t hey just do not earn

as much as non-s tudents .

A t a l l t imes your tax

pos i t i on is personal to y o u .

You r parents do not a f fec t the

amount of tax you have to

pay a l though, if you are an

undergrad, you w i l l a f fec t the

amount your parents pay - If

they are c l a i m i n g a c h i l d

a l l o w a n c e for suppor t ing y o u ,

th i s w i l l be var ied acco rd ing

to how much you earn

( obv ious l y , the more you

earn the l e s s your parents need

to keep you) .

A n y que r ies come to the

Student Wel fare Cen t re - open

12.30 - 1.30pm. Mon - F r i , at

the top of the Un ion B u i l d i n g .

P S D o not forget that L S E

Students are now g i v i n g F R E E

lega l a d v i c e every Weds

lunch- t ime.

F E L I X Published by the Editor on

behalf of I .C.Union Publication Board. Printed Off-set Litho on the premises.

Fe l ix Of fice, PnnceConsort Rd , London SW7 2BB.

T e l . 01 589 5111 ext 1048,1042

© F E L I X , 1976

Editor P.Ekpenyong. Many thanks to Ph i l Dean, D a v e P i x a M P a v e H o p k i n s

Dave Knights, John McCloskey, Duncan 5u:.^., l e n y WesIODy, and extra special thanks to Ian for putting up with us a l l , and G i l l ,

Tax wk To ta l pay

1 £40

2 £80

3 £120

B a c k to c o l l e g e

4 £120

5 £120

6 £120

T a x F r e e pay P a i d to date

£13 n i l

£26 £9-45

£39 £18-90

£52 £28-35

£65 £23-80

£78 £19-25

T a x

due th is wk

£9-45

£3-45

£9-45

minus £4-55

minus £4-55

minus £4-55

PRIZE CROSSWORD No. 3 U

A c r o s s

1. Was t h i s a sa t i r e of the

search for 1 down and 38

a c r o s s (7,3,5).

12. A sort of N e w Z e a l a n d bi rd.

13. F r igh ten a let ter bearer.

15. Sound of repub l i c in anger.

16. E c i f i r o .

17. Re t t i ng gui tar .

19b Young f i s h sounds l i ke

Stardus t .

2 1 . A Sco t t ' s purpose

22 . Amer i can loo boy.

23b A Dead pound formed wi th

art .

24b F * * k a duck , but th is is

queer.

26. U S gaol

29 . Same as 22 down.

30 . See 45 (1,2)

3 1 . A par t ica l for a c a s t l e .

34. Rob a cup .

35 . A boy back from s p a c e .

38. See 1 down .

40 . K i n g ' s y e a r s i s top d o g .

42.1 w a s not we i rd to back an

even match.

43 . L o t s of bea t l es ' f i lms?

46. Sretap

48 . A conven t iona l m idd le

c l a s s b u s i n e s s man of

S i n c l a i r L e w i s .

50b Tut a t ide in pos i t i on

1 3 s I 7 7 '0

11

\

It- IS

1? Ik n

i 11

1 mm* 1" - i5 17

*' »1

%l - JJ 1 + Jt ;

Hi 4» Yi

_ r

*i 44 yi 3

p 1*1

1 r £i s%.

* ss i ' l

. _

L

it

1

u tx tj ! i

U ii, is. ti * ; /

rt 7S 1

I X ,

• v

78 — i — , 1

i

So

53 . N a k e d k ing beneath

55 . Permi t to go West?

56. R e c o n j C o . letter sends out

58. L e g at top

59. Not on 58

6 0 . J o i n t

6 1 . See 58 and 59

64 . Cu t p r i ce c h i c k no i s e

67 . F o o t s about? R a c e d

69b A rope m u s i c a l

72.1 doubt the one in 1 a c r o s s

Is the same as everyone th inks

of in a s s o c i a t i o n wi th the

author.

7 5 . Tyre lol - for arbi t rary

d i s t r i bu t i on .

76. Impetuous dash

77. C o u l d be canned heat

78 . B u c k e t ?

7 9 . S e e 78

8 0 . Spotted before the eyes for

i n t e l l i g e n c e , pe rsona l i t y , e tc

(9,6)

Down

1. The sea rch of pho l l s i phe rs

(of annotated I a c r o s s ; .

2. Thou s i n g l e f o o l .

3 . C a t c h the pure sum

4. Fo re ign f idd le r

5. A from f lower ing female

tops

6 . Imposs ib le for dwarfs

7. What 's a g rec ian urn?

(correct)

8 . See s i l e

9. Suffered from Watneys

10. A c t o r ' s turn

11. Indian c lo th from R H K art

s c h o o l .

13. Loud f i sh touch

14. eec had it L -shaped

18. A l c o h o l i c ova l t i ne pucked up

20. F i v e beers for va l l ey

24. F i s h for good hand

25. Ave rage e l e c t r i c

27. Pa land rom ic leader

28. Where to enter

32. Same as 29

33 . Dehs

34. F rench mixture

36 . Iga

37. Metal ba l loon cover?

39 . Round son of Rob

6 5 . Sa in t l y greet ing

6 6 . Deeps or c o u n c i l charges

68b E x h a u s t wheel rim

70. T h e g a l l e r y , e ' es t moi (I don' t

understand that)

7 1 . F i s h measure

7 3 . E G C 74. Rah I tren ;h

4 1 . Get up g i r l

42. See 79 44. Not par t i t ioned be sep ta

45 . See 30

64 . That of it

47 . N i n e let ters for lamb shark?

48. F r i e n d of beaver in 1 a c r o s s

49. Same as prev ious c l u e of

some answer

51 . Gur

52. At tempt to score

54b L i o n meat safe

55. Y o b

57. Non-con t rac tua l m isdeed

61b U s e d in 57 sec t i on

62 . F e d up w ' th mus i c i a n

63 . C h i n i e s e Hang or an up water

WARNING: Some of these clues

may be misleading!

There were no solut ions

entered for crossword N o 3 3 .

T h e cumulative pr ize of £2

wi l l be given to the first

correct solut ion drawn out

of the Ed i to r 's Hat at noon

next Wednesday May 12th.

T h e Ed i to r 's d e c i s i o n is

final'.

Solution to Crossword N o . 3 3

A C R O S S :

1. P r i n c i p l e s 8. Bead game

11- L A 12. Cry 13. Inane 14.

E a r l 15. Erne 16. Den 17. E s s

18. R o l l s 19. F o s s e 22. Gen

24 . Ion 25 . Ket 26 . Omir 27.

No tch 29 . Add 30 . ie 3 1 . The

g l a s s 32 . Scent o rgan.

D O W N :

1. P i l l i w i n k s 2. Nares 3 . C D C

5. Pane l 6. L M A 7. Spencer ian

8 . B a r e f o o t 9 . E y a s 1 0 . E n e r g i e s

15. C h e e s e 16. Do 20 . On

2 1 . N e c k s 22 . Radon 23 . Same

28. The 29. O l d .

ANNUAL DINNER

M O N D A Y 17th M A Y 1976

7.00 for 7.30pm

Union Upper Dinning Room

Tickets: £4.50 single,£8.00 double

Available from the F E L I X Office

6

A word f o m de sponsor H E R E I Y A M a g i n , de l i t t ' ry

pear ls o ' w isdom droppin f 'om

my mouf fas te r dan de

S c i e n t i s t s at de G u i l d s B a r

N igh t . A c t u r l y , I b in implored

by some notable number to

c a s t de expe r t i se an de

p o l i t i c a l unners tand ing on de

noo gumments r e s u l t i n ' f 'om

de recent e l e c t i o n happening

aftah de ce leb ra ted h o i s t i n g s

in de Grate H a l l , noos d w h i c h

on ly just r each in ' me ' c o s de

P o s t m a n , cant g i t up de s t a i r s

fo ' de f ly i n ' m i l k bot t les an

de dead miner on de p res iden t i a l

l and ing , b in se l l o t ape d to de

bann is te rs by de Y o u n g ' s

C o n s e r v a t i v e s if you a s k me.

I, off c o a r s e , am o f f r in '

my deepest c o n d o l e n s e s to de

loos ing o p p e r s i t i o n . I su jes t

dat dey s l i p a few s a c k s o '

de loot to de ex te rna l examina rs

to insure dat de nooly e l e c t e d

cab ine t s are becoming past o '

de 50% nat ' ra l was tage dat

d i s c o l l e g e am accus tomed

to these d a y s , a n ' if dey

a in ' t den there int nuf f in l i ke

a coo wot de G u i l d s pu l l ed

t h i s year when d i s H o y l e

item got h i s s tutor to bounce

de A h l e r s moneky out w i v de

freat o ' de degree h a v i n ' to be

cont inued v i a de cor respondence

c o a r s e . D i s nex year am gonna

be d i f f ' ren t . De s m a c k s o '

de f irm gumments go in ' to be

herd echo ing roun' de She f f i e l d

B l o c k .

E v e r y o n e gonna have to be

s h o w i n ' de proper respeck fo '

de noo R C S U P r e s bint on

account o ' her turn in ' roun'

q u i c k , l a s ' week a n ' a c c i d e n t ­

a l l y k n o c k i n ' four b l okes over

a c r o s s de d e g u s t l n ' parkey

f loor in de Un ion Ba r , wot

am a l w a y s s l i p p e r y ' c o s o'

de fac ' dat de revo l t i n '

m iners h a v i n ' enough t rouble

k e e p i n ' de iba in de pint pots

let a lone in de s t o m i c k s . No

doubt f o l l o w i n ' her aroun '

l i ke de spar rows roun' de J C R

t ro l ly w i l l be de number too o'

de R S C , de Steve Braund an '

de A d r i a n Sopwi th , de w e l l

known f ighter a c e .

In de m i n e s , de 'ard hats

g o i n ' be kept busy th ink in ' o '

sums inc t to keep de popper lace

content t i l l de next Herb

A lpe r t ha l l re lay race in wh i ch

de baton o ' de P r e s , Norm

L e v y , g o i n ' to be he ld by de

w e l l known Squadd ie .

De G u i l d s T r a s h bin g o i n '

down h i l l s i n c e de great O s s i e

b in superseeded by a memmer

o ' de equa l oppertuni ty s e x .

In "de r io tous e l e c t i o n t ak in '

p l ace l a s ' term, de Tom

The Met Soc meets

again Apparent ly determined to

test our loya l t y , the Meteoro­

l o g i c a l and Env i ronmenta l

Soc i e t y not only he ld las t

w e e k ' s meet ing at 6pm, but

c h o s e a F r i day even ing for i t .

N e v e r t h e l e s s some 15 people

turned up, inc lud ing the

speake r , a Dr D a v i d P e d g e l e y ,

once of IC and now do ing pest

r e s e a r c h , who was to ta lk

about weather and the

migrat ion of airborne i n s e c t s .

I was to try and get the story

into F E L I X . H e looked l i ke

an i nsec t c o l l e c t o r : bemused,

s l i g h t l y bu i l t , w i th thin-r immed

g l a s s e s and a pu l love r s l i g h t l y

too large. I t r ied to look

l i k e a reporter w i th a l i t t l e

notebook and pen at the

ready , w h i l e the l e s s mot ivated

sp raw led w i th d i s d a i n at such

a swot .

But now i t ' s Monday

morn ing; many more b r a i n c e l l s

have been f l ushed to the

Thames and out to s e a and

that notebook in not proving

much help for the wr i t i ng . H a v e

you heard how 14 m i l l i o n

Or ien ta l Army-worm Moths

were ca re fu l l y marked by the

C h i n e s e before r e l e a s e , and

on ly 14 were recovered?

Apparen t l y (my notes are not

c lea r ) they gave them a

rad i oac t i v e f eed . A c r e s of

i n s e c t s s i t f l app ing thei r

w ings and do ing heavy

breath ing to reach the

" tempera tu re threshold for

f l i g h t " (The energy they w in

need once ai rborne i s found

by " t e the r i ng i nsec t s in the

l a b " , presumably to run them

into the ground).

I w i s h I cou ld g i ve a fa i r

account of the ta lk , wh i ch

everybody en joyed , but only

a few c h o i c e quota t ions

rema in . L i k e the d i s t rac t i ng

one about " n y m p h s becoming

s o c rowded , l i t e ra l l y on top

of each o t h e r " , or the c y n i c a l

" s t i c k in a l ight , or a female ,

or some rotten food, to

at t ract a m a l e " . But what

k ind of a story c a n you get

out of " m a s s t a k e - o f f s " ,

" s y n c h r o n o u s e m e r g e n c e " ,

" f i n i t e fa l l s p e e d s " and " a

locus t can see a locust at

30 m e t r e s " ? The last page i s

about a t r ip to E a s t A f r i c a :

" t h e only way to ca t ch these

f l i e s i s to s i t around and be

b i t ten . So f l y -boys were hi red

to s i t by the r iver There

may be a shock horror probe

there somewhere, but not

today .

The next meet ing i s a l s o

at 6pm, but on Thu rsday , May

13th , in Room 719 of the

New H u x l e y B u i l d i n g . " H a i l ,

ha i l s t o rms , and ha i l supp res ­

s i o n s " , w i th co f fee and

b i s c u i t s to f o l l o w . Wow!

John Shade

F i s h e r s a y i n dat de S Dear ing

on ly g i t t ing in on account o '

de o p p e r s i t i o n ' s count b e i n '

made on de f ingers w id one

hand in de pocket an 'de

t e l l e r s can ' t count over f i ve

widout de promt in '

D i s N i c k B r a y s h a w am

oughta be d o i n ' sumth in ' to

s top de IC Un ion mee t i n ' s

l ook in ' l i ke a conven t i on o '

d e I r ish branch of M E N S A .

E i t h e r dat or reduc in ' decorum

to one an h o l d i n ' de mee t in ' s

in de khaz i a n ' w r i t i n ' de

min i t s on de w a l l . If th ings

l o o k i n ' rough w i d de h a r a s s ­

ment f 'om de r ight w ing o ' de

N U F e x e c then he a l w a y s got

de P T e e g number aroun ' de

c o l l e g e to show him where de

s u r v i v a l o ' de IC Un ion is »o'

de D Evere t t a n ' de Snowy

White 'o s tar t s t i r r i n ' up de

popper lace w i d de cas t iron

micrometer , spanner a n ' any

s i m ' l a r t o o l s . A f t ah a l l , d i s

Un ion am in a s t rong p o s i t i o n ,

cont ro l I i n ' de noospaper , de

rad io , a n ' de T e e V e e , they

am bet ter of f than de 3rd R e i c h !

T P

T H E F A I R Y A N D

T H E P I X Y Sweet fairy, beautiful and true,

Give me your answer,

Tel l me do,

How shines the moon on you?

Dear pixy, I'm fine

As any sunny summer's day.'

Sweet smiling fairy maid true,

Give me your answer,

Tell me do,

W! 11 you meet me at nine

For wine and dinne

Tonight I trust

Together we must

Make the most of this bliss?

Oh! Virtuous pixy Sir,

Thankyou for your 'and invitation.

Accept I do,

And soon I will away

To prepare, this happy day.

My lovely fairy mistress true,

I thank you much,

I thank you, I do,

For now I know you rue the past,

Our time together can forever last

But for a short time

There will be wine

To confuse and amuse us

As we dance and romance

Down the road of true love.

So see you soon, my fairy love.'

Attend to those things,

Your clothes and your rings.'

Powder your nose,

Straighten your hair,

And, make your eyes shine bright,

For we'll be together forever tonight.

HOWARD PHILLIPS

M U X 7

R e v i e w s

Theatre Re-examination rewarded Theatre Review: ' E q u u s ' by Peter Shaffer at the Albery Theatre

The f i rs t t ime I s a w Pe te r Sha f fe r ' s

p lay Equus I found it to be an

imag ina t i ve l y s taged th r i l l e r about the

p s y c h i a t r i c hea l i ng of a boy who commit ted

a savage a t tack on s i x h o r s e s . S i f t i ng

down to see it aga in at the second

rev i va l of the Na t i ona l T h e a t r e ' s

product ion by John Dex te r ( th is t ime at

the A l b e r y Theatre) I wondered how the

p lay wou ld s tand up now that I knew the

outcome of the d o c t o r ' s p rob ings .

Wi th in s e c o n d s of the p l a y ' s start

I w a s , a g a i n , t o ta l l y abso rbed , but now

it was wi th the depth of the p iece that

concen t ra t ion on the purely narrat ive

a s p e c t s had obs c u r ed . E q u u s is ce r ta in l y

a p lay w h i c h , in that over-worked phrase,

repays re -examina t ion . It suppor ts ,

through the a g o n i s i n g of the psych ia t r i s t

over h i s attempts to br ing h i s pat ient

back to a 'no rma l ' e x i s t e n c e , the idea

that normal i ty i s deaden ing and that the

b o y ' s s o - c a l l e d insan i t y i s rea l l y a

p a s s i o n that those of us wi th empty

I i ves should envy .

The doctor , p layed by C o l i n B l a k e l y

w i th a warmth and sympathy that the

aud ience responds to, has problems of

h i s own wi th a w i fe who, we are to ld ,

soon lost any pass ion she may have had

and so her husband s e e k s fu l f i lment for

h i s psyche , second hand , by s tudy ing

the p r im i t i v i sm of A n c i e n t G reece and

i ts G o d s . He is j ea lous of the boy who

f i n d s , for h imse l f , l i v i ng gods in h o r s e s .

On paper, in one sen tence , that sounds

b iza r re and the brutal c r ime around wh ich

the play i s wr i t ten may seem fa r - fe tched,

a l though Shaffer bases h is plot on a real

inc iden t , but in the theatre the atmosphere

of s e n s u a l i t y and worsh ip c rea ted not

leas t by the marve l l ous representa t ion

of horses by men in s imp le though

ingen ious masks and he ighten ing hooves ,

fo rces us into the p l a y ' s e x e g e s i s of how

th in i s the l ine between gen ius and

m a d n e s s .

E r i c Stovel l

Over-abundance of talk The R o y a l Shakespeare C o m p a n y ' s

s e r i e s of Gorky p roduc t i ons , at the

A l d w y c h , con t i nues w i th The Zykovs.

T h i s is a p lay that i s l e s s over t ly

p o l i t i c a l than much tum-of - the-century

R u s s i a n drama; pa r t i cu la r l y bear ing

in mind that Gorky became the doyen of

R u s s i a n l i terature after the revo lu t i on ,

even to the extent of hav ing h i s home

renamed Gorky .

M i k h a i l Z y k o v is engaged to P a v l a

T s e l o v a n y e v a s ; s o o n , however , h i s

father s teps in and d e c l a r e s h i s a f fec t ion

for the g i r l . With the a i d of smooth ta lk

and f i nanc i a l i ncen t i ve (he is a se l f -made

t imber merchant) he proposes a marr iage

that is doomed from the star t . If a l l th i s

sounds a bit far fe tched you must

understand that P a v l a has spent the

past f i ve yea rs in the convent s c h o o l

and is out of touch wi th the r ea l i t i e s of

l i f e . T ime and time aga in she d e c l a r e s

her be l ie f in love as the true gu id ing

p r i n c i p l e ; she f a i l s to r e a l i s e that the

type of love preached in the convent i s

too f ra i l a concept to s tand up to the

pass iona te love of her husband , A n t i p a .

Once P a v l a and her mother are

i n s t a l l e d in the Z y k o v house h o l d , she

f inds that the only person she i s not

a f ra id of i s her e r s twh i l e f i a n c e . A

strange change comes over the cha rac t e r s ;

A n t i p a paces about not ca r ing for h i s

b u s i n e s s ; the sour head keeper , s h o k h i n ,

d e c i d e s to leave because of P a v l a ' s

fear of h i m . The a b i l i t y of a p a s s i v e

charac te r l i ke P a v l a to a l te r the s ta tus

quo in a group of much s t ronger cha rac te rs

is but one of the threads woven together

by Go rky .

A sp lend id per formance, as M i k h a i l ,

comes from M ike G w i l y m ; the eternal

f loa ter , d r ink ing too much and wa i t i ng

for someth ing or someone to turn up.

M i a Far row p lays P a v l a wi th a w ide

eyed i nnocence ; w h i l s t Gary Bond appears

as the cor rect German, propos ing

marr iage to A n t i p a ' s s i s t e r more ref ined

than her brother on the grounds that

together they might restore R u s s i a n

s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e .

If I do not seem who le -hear ted ly to

support th i s product ion it i s because I

am not a great fan of R u s s i a n p l a y s .

There i s here as e l sewhe re an over-

bundance of ta lk ; as Tarakanov s a y s at

the opening of A c t II; " Y o u c a n ' t do

wi thout ph i l osophy , s i n c e every th ing

nas i ts h idden meaning wh i ch we must

k n o w " .

Nex t Saturday, May 15, w i l l be your

las t c h a n c e , for the present , to s e e two

new p lays by Tom Stoppard at the A lmos t

F r e e Thea t re . A s i ts name sugges ts the

p r i ces charged at the A l m o s t f ree are

rock-bot tom; in fact you c a n choose the

sum (50p is about average) , to su i t your

pocke t , but you a l s o have to jo in the

A m b i a n c e Lunch Hour Theat re C l u b ;

th i s c a n be done at the door .

T h e two p l a y s are D i r ty L i v e n and

N e w - F o u n d - l a n d and both con ta in a l l

the Stoppard T r i c k s of doub le entendre

pun, Ma lap rop ism and obscure l i terary

re fe rences . The cas t is headed by a

number of w e l l known names current ly

appear ing on the West E n d s tage . T h e

performance star ts at 1.15 and runs about

an hour but you are w e l l a d v i s e d to get

there ear ly as a queue soon bu i l ds up .

Ce r t a i n l y th i s *s someth ing that shouldn' t

be m i s s e d , e s p e c i a l l y if you are a l ready

a conf i rmed Stoppard add ic t and c a n

d i s p e n s e wi th lunch for one day .

Thomas Stevenson

Music Head's heart not in mouth

Murray Head - Say It A i n ' t So (Island I L P S 9347)

Af te r such an i m p r e s s i v e debut s i n g l e

I was rather l ook ing forward to an

e q u a l l y ta lented L P . Not s o ; in fact the

bulk of H e a d ' s ef for ts earn h im zero for

s tar qua l i t y and three (out of ten) for

ef for t . (even by B l a c k Sabbath s tandards) .

My name i sn ' t Tony Ha tch e i the r1

O u t s i d e the t i t l e t rack Boat's Away

& Don't Forget To Let Him Know are

the only t racks to s tand out . The other

seven bare ly deserve more than the words

drab, ord inary & i n s u b s t a n t i a l . E i t h e r

producer P a u l Sam we 11-Smith & Head

don' t make mus ic together or Head

is rather low on ta len t . Judg ing trom the

f ra i l v o c a l s I s u s p e c t the lat ter . E i t h e r

way , nei ther producer or ar t is t has made

fu l l use of the expe r i enced s e s s i o n m u s i c i a n s on the a lbum.

A medlee of three a c o u s t i c gu i ta rs ,

tas te fu l s t r ing arrangement, e x t e n s i v e

background s i nge r s and overdubs

dominates the L P ' s best t rack Say It

Ain't So. A beaut i fu l s t y l i s h examp le of

a l l t ha t ' s good in modern m u s i c . B o b

Weston (acous t i c & s l i d e gu i tars) ho lds

the t rack together, a s he does on the

L P ' s other g o o d i e s . Boat's Away i s a

cu te undramat ic c r i b of Ca t S t e v e n s '

Longer Boats, but once you accep t that

i t ' s qu i te p leasan t . L i k e w i s e Don't

Forget Him Now, a d e l i c a t e d i t ty

enhanced by S u e L y n c h ' s v o c a l s and some

g i f ted p iano p lay ing from Murray H e a d . Both g i ve the v i t a l i t y m i s s i n g on the other t r a c k s .

T h e a l b u m ' s worst c u t s are You're

So Tasty, an unromant ic sou l cover

version of We Do It and a mediocre

attempt at Someones Rocking My

Dreamboat. George Me My c o u l d do it

much better.

T o c o n c l u d e , if y o u ' v e bought the

s i n g l e don ' t bother buying the L P .

Murray Head h a s , I fear , yet to d i s c o v e r

what he does bes t . H e might w e l l have

been f lus te red by h i s f i rs t venture to a

record ing s tud io , but tha t ' s no e x c u s e

fo r . f s land to r e l e a s e Insuncere t rash .

8 M U X

M A R K C A L D W E L L previews a new

World War 1 epic drama " A C E S H I G H "

which has its world premiere on May 17th

Good take-off,

faultless landing Quote from p u b l i c i t y handout — "Aces

High is a story about love and comrad-

ship, loneliness and death. It if about

action and adventure, and the bravery of

man."

D o you groan inward ly? N e v e r m ind .

T h i s f i lm i s recommended. A q u a l i f i e d

recommendat ion though. If you regard the

F i r s t World War as an h i s t o r i c a l n ice ty

wh ich i n f l i c t ed t imely punishment upon

greedy c a p i t a l i s t na t i ons , are bored by

aerop lanes and look upon ac ts of he ro ism

mere ly as man i fes ta t ions of m i s g u i d e d

j i n g o i s t i c fervour , then may be th is

f i lm is not for y o u .

F r a n c e , 1917. The f i lm fo l l ows the

t r i a l s and adventures of a newly ar r ived

o f f i ce r Cro f t , s ta t ioned at a front l i ne

squadron of the R o y a l F l y i n g C o r p s .

A c c o u n t s of l i fe on the Western F ron t

are w e l l known and the f i lm bares many

of the ha l lmarks of the exper iences of

newly commiss ioned o f f i ce rs d e s c r i b e d

e l s e w h e r e . F o r i n s t a n c e , the c o l d

recept ion at the mess on f i rs t a r r i v ing —

"Hullo I'm Croft"

"Are you"

"You're not flying today"

"So it would appear".

A l s o , f ra te rn iz ing w i th the men and

eat ing the i r bread and c h e e s e , f o l l ow ing

the death of a fe l l ow o f f i ce r dur ing a

m i s s i o n and the subsequent rebuke for

a v o i d i n g h i s fe l l ow o f f i c e r s . Pe te r F i r t h

of " E q u u s " fame p l a y s the part wi th

s k i l l . Dur ing a v i s i t to a n igh tc lub in

R o u e n , he c o n v e y s C r o f t ' s sense of

embarrassment and i s o l a t i o n so c o n ­

v i n c i n g l y that at t imes one a lmost shares

h i s unease .

' A C E S H I G H ' Directed by J a c k

G o l d : Starring Malcolm M c D o w e l l ,

Christopher Plummer. Simon Ward,

Peter Firth'. Screenplay by Howard

Barker, inspired by R C Sherri f f 's

play " J o u r n e y ' s F n d " ' .

Major Gresham (Ma lco lm M c D o w e l l )

commands the squadron w i th expec ted

B r i t i s h sang-froid. N o n e t h e l e s s , he

never takes off sober and in a rare

moment revea ls h i s sense of utter terror

to a fe l l ow o f f i ce r C raw fo rd .

T h i s i s the f i r s t t ime M a l c o l m

M c D o w e l l has been able to use h i s

cons ide rab l e ta len ts i n a se r ious adul t

r o l e . He hand les the two s ides o f

G r e s h a m ' s charac te r ad ro i t l y . C rawfo rd ,

turned l i t t e ra l y c r a z y wi th fear so' ,hat

he re fuses to f l y , is p l aye d by Simon

Ward. However , there i s on ly one

d i s p l a y e d outburst of madness and

merc i fu l l y i t i s performed w i th res t ra in t .

Ch r i s tophe r P lummer (the " S o u n d of

M u s i c " man) p l a y s a veteran a f fec t i on ­

a te ly known as ' U n c l e ' . T h i s sort of

p a t e r n a l i s t i c charac ter cou ld e a s i l y

have become embalmed wi th s i c k l y

sent iment . T h a n k f u l l y th is doesn ' t

happen and the pa te rna l i sm i s c o n t r o l l e d .

J a c k G o l d keeps h i s c a s t on a t ight

re in . No tab le guest appearances are

made by Si r John G i e l g u d , T revo r

Howard , R i c h a r d Johnson and Ray

M i l l a n d . T h e cas t a l s o i n c l u d e s one of

Ma lco lm M c D o w e l l ' s f e l l ow rebe ls from

'If.. ', D a v i d Wood.

Indeed my on ly c r i t i c i s m of the f i lm

is the preponderance of exuberant

Malcolm McDowell

p u b l i c s c h o o l bonhommie w h i c h permeates

some of the f i l m ' s l ighter moments

a lmost to the point of n a u s e a . However ,

remember ing that th is is a per iod f i lm , it

cou ld be argued that an accurate

por t raya l demands that the ac t ing should

be f lavoured w i th the Zeitgeist o f the

era in q u e s t i o n .

I near ly f o r g o t to ment ion the

ae rop lanes . P o s s i b l y because al though

there are t e c h n i c a l l y b r i l l i an t and

s p e c t a c u l a r in f l igh t , once on the

ground, they remain throught the f i lm , as

they shou ld be , w e l l proport ioned props.

Watergat " A l l T h e Pres iden t ' s M e n " (Warner

Bros , A ) directed by A l a n Paku la ;

starring Robert Redford and Dust in

Hoffman.

" T H I S IS N O T a f i lm about N i x o n " s a y s

Robert Redford whose b ra i nch i l d the

J i l m was and who was one of the prime

a r c h i t e c t s of the f i lm . He and Dus t i n

Hoffman p lay the parts of the two

Washington P o s t repor ters , B o b Woodward

and C a r l Be rns te i n r e s p e c t i v e l y , a s s i g n e d

to cover the Watergate bu i l d ing break i n .

When powerhouse a t torneys show up

at the hear ing to determine whether ba i l

w i l l be granted, Woodward i s c u r i o u s .

H i s cu r i os i t y is further a roused when one

of the burg lars admi ts to be ing an e x -

C I A man.

T h i s is when the tek to the P r e s i d e n t ' s

o f f i ce rea l l y beg ins . . No one rea l l y

b e l i e v e s any more, at the P o s t at leas t ,

that the break in was the work of c razy

C u b a n s . Woodward and Be rns te i n f o l l ow

>how it was up c o u n t l e s s leads in thei r i nves t i ga t i ons

wh i ch have a habi t of r evea l i ng fac ts

that an F B I i nves t i ga t i on cove r i ng 1500

people do not.

A s in a l l good de tec t i ve f i lms there

has to be an " in fo rmant ". In th is c a s e

it i s Deep Throat p layed by Ha l Ho lb rock .

Deep Throat was Woodward 's contac t

who had a c c e s s to informat ion at the

White H o u s e . In newspaper , pa r lance ,

Deep Throat , was used only for " d e e p

b a c k g r o u n d " . He was used by Woodward

to ver i fy or not informat ion gathered in

the i r i n v e s t i g a t i o n s .

There has been recent ly a great dea l

of specu la t i on about Deep- Throat and

whether he e x i s t s . A l l I can say i s that

the f i lm Ha l Ho lb rook makes the character

b e l i e v a b l e wi th a very c o n v i n c i n g

performance. A l s o , Woodward, in an

in terv iew wi th T ime magaz ine last week ,

s ta ted that Deep Throat d i d e x i s t and

wou ld reveal h imse l f one day .

The f i lm is w e l l ac ted throughout wi th

exposed Redford and Hoffman convey ing the

extreme s e n s e of fear felt by the

reporters dur ing thei r i nves t i ga t i ons and

a l s o their o b s e s s i o n wi th the story once

they had begun. Gues t appearances by

Mar t in B a l s a m as the c i t y ed i tor and

J a s o n Robarbs as Ben Brad lee as the

P o s t ' s execu t i ve ed i to r provide a so l i d

back up. Jane A l e x a n d e r g i v e s a very

good performance as the Bookeeper .

T e c h n i c a l l y th i s f i lm is e x c e l l e n t .

450,00 do l l a r s was spent on bu i ld ing an

exac t 32,000 square foot dup l i ca te of the

P o s t ' s newsroom. In fact , so much care

has been paid to de ta i l that no car in

the f i lm is later t h a n , a 1973 mode l , the

rubb ish in the newsroom is real rubbish

c o l l e c t e d from the P o s t ' s newsroom over

seve ra l w e e k s . They even hired Frank

W i l l s , the Watergate secur i t y guard who

d i s c o v e r e d the robbery and sounded the

a la rm , to play h im s e l f .

Paul Ekpenyong

M U X 9

B . i k e . C l u b .

Bike Club goes round in circles

Cr i cke t

May Day

at M WITH A N I M P R E S S I V E start

to the s e a s o n , Imperial C o l l e g e

1st XI beat Magda len C o l l e g e ,

Oxford by over 200 runs last

Saturday. E x c e e d i n g an a i r of

con f i dence I C ' s open ing ba ts ­

men put on 100 runs for the f i rs t

w i c k e t before T r i n i d a d i a n

Tony P a u l was caught at

cove r for a powerful 50 runs

wh i ch inc luded n ine boundar ies .

H i s partner and C a p t a i n Tom

Ghosh scored 36 w h i l s t bur ly

Massacre agdalen

However the w i c k e t s were

taken by the two D a v e ' s ,

Bramley (3 for 5) and M i l l a r d

(5 for 19) . The Magda len

C o l l e g e bat t ing c o l l a p s e d

w i t h l i t t le r e s i s t a n c e and

they were d i s m i s s e d for 38

runs g i v i n g Imperial C o l l e g e

v i c to ry by 204 runs . The fact

that the oppos i t i on cou ld have

been a l i t t l e under the weather

a f ter thei r s i l l y May Day

c e l e b r a t i o n s cou ld not

John Eng land sco red a

b r isk 43 after two h e l p i n g s of

t r i f le at lunch as w e l l .

Severa l other use fu l i nn ings

brought the s c o r e past the

two hundred mark and at

3.35pm the sk ippe r dec la red

at 242 for e igh t .

A f te r the change-over

Magda len C o l l e g e were

a s s a u l t e d by the " T o t t e n h a m

T e r r o r " Chandra Ku lharn i who

shook thei r composure .

Berkley beaten

T H E I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E

Sunday XI f o l l owed the

example of the 1st teams

Saturday performance w i th a

more modest 100 runs v ic to ry

over B e r k e l e y A t h l e t i c at

Ha r l i ng ton . C a p t a i n Max T a y l o r

won the t o s s and e l e c t e d to

bat; a very d i p l oma t i c d e c i s i o n

c o n s i d e r i n g that hal f h i s

team were late in a r r i v i n g . He

then opened the bat t ing w i th

Ar thur Mu lho l l and and th is

pair put on over 130 runs

before Mu lho l l and was out

for 54. T a y l o r ca r r i ed on h i s

bucol ic work and was even tua l ly

out just before lunch for a

c red i t ab le 8 2 .

The run rate of about 100

an hour was main ta ined after

the in terva l by Jeh B a s h a r

who scored 51 before the

sk ippe r dec la red at three

o ' c l o c k w i th 244 for 3 on the

sco reboa rd . T h i s generous

dec la ra t i on gave Be rke ley ample

t ime to score the runs but they

were unable to meet the

c h a l l e n g e . Four w i c k e t s from

Geof Thompson showed that

the A t h l e t i c were not ab le

to reply to th is total and the

resu l t of the game was no

longer in doubt. T h i s resu l t

meant that two IC s i d e s had

sco red near ly 500 runs in

just two ma tches !

e x p l a i n thei r poor per formance.

It was a resound ing v ic to ry

and a conf ident star t to the

s e a s o n wh ich must be

c o n s o l i d a t e d at Cambr idge

tomorrow.

Team:- A Gosh; J Thornback;

R Young; A Paul; R Pashley;

J England; D Millard; C

Kulharni; D Bramley; A

Hall.

Scorer: Mary Young (many thanks

IC 2nd XI v Luton C o l l e g e

Scores:- IC 146 Luton 112

T H I S E X T R E M E L Y c l o s e

game was dec ided wi th l ess

than two overs to go. IC

batted f i rs t and were q u i c k l y

in t rouble at 26 for 2 . However

good par tnersh ips between

C a u s e y and Sparke and then

T r e w h e l l a and Hagger pushed

a long the s c o r e to 101 for

6 at t e a . A f t e r l ight refreshment

(non -a l coho l i c ) , IC i nc reased

thei r sco r i ng rate and desp i te

l os ing w i c k e t s , reached the

respec tab le total of 146.

Lu ton s tar ted very c o n ­

f i den t l y and b r i s k l y put on

46 runs for thei r f i rs t w i cke t

in only ten o v e r s . A c c u r a t e

bow l ing accompan ied by

t ight f i e l d i n g s l o w e d thei r

s c o r i n g rate but at 91 for

for three the odds were very

much in the i r favour . Some

e x c e l l e n t bow l ing by Gowle t t

and Sparke c a u s e d a sudden

c o l l a p s e in w h i c h Luton lost

s i x w i c k e t s for on ly 16 runs.

So with* on ly 5 overs left IC

needed to take one more

w i c k e t for v i c t o r y . T h i s was

ach ieved w i th only e ight ba l l s

to spare when Gowle t t had

thei r last batsman s tumped.

In a l l it was a remarkable

team effort for a s i de p lay ing

in i t ' s f i rs t match of the

s e a s o n . Unfor tunate ly the

after match c e l e b r a t i o n s were

spo i l t by the c o a c h f a i l i n g to

turn up.

A F T E R A s e r i e s of mechan ica l

t roubles wi th the rac ing

H o n d a , the B i k e C l u b has

f inal ly been r a c i n g . Our int repid

he roes , Mart in B l e a s d a l e and

N i c k J a m e s , went to the

V e l o Owners C l u b race meet ing

at C a d w e l l Pa rk , L i n c o l n s h i r e ,

on A p r i l 3 rd , and raced thei r

road b i kes aga ins t such r iders

as Tom Pemberton and Dave

E a s t . Mart in was on h i s

K a w a s a k i 400 S3 and N i c k

was on a 500cc V e l o c e t t e

Venom wh ich had been

s l i g h t l y breathed upon by a

rac ing f r iend , B i l l M e l v i l l e .

The p rac t i ce s e s s i o n before

the races was the f i rs t t ime

N i c k had been on a t rack, but

when he f i n i shed prac t i ce ten

minutes later , the gr in jo ined

up at the back of h i s neck !

T h e pair had each entered

in two Vi hour h igh speed

t r i a l s and in an 8 lap race ,

N i c k compet ing in an add i t i ona l

8 lap race .

Much to the amazement of

a l l conce rned , nei ther fe l l off

and both ac tua l l y managed to

g i ve a good accoun t of them­

s e l v e s . A s luck wou ld have it,

the V e l o near ly lost i ts

Manx The annual Is le of Man

E a s t e r A t h l e t i c F e s t i v a l ,

he ld over E a s t e r week -end ,

w a s the foca l point of the

s e a s o n ' s a c t i v i t i e s for the

c ross -coun t ry c l u b , h i ther to

known as Hyde Park S t reakers .

T h e mu l t i - face ted gather ing

of a l l - s t a r s i nc luded such

we l l - known f a c e s as Speedy

Steve Webb, B S c , Gary G l i t t e r

and A l v i n Stardus t , C Hunder,

and last Smooth 'N E a s y

D o n n e l l y . Wtih such a parade

of ta lent , how cou ld we

f a i l ?

The answer to th i s fatefu l

ques t ion was q u i c k l y provided

by the f i rs t race , the Good

F r i d a y 4 m i le road race .

C o m p r i s i n g a s teep downh i l l

s e c t i o n for much of the f i rs t

m i l e , and a co r respond ing

uph i l l sec t i on for the last

m i l e , the cou rse was obv ious l y

des igned to c r i p p l e anyone

who was not 100% f i t . T h i s

d id not prevent 166 runners

f i n i s h i n g ; for the S t reake rs ,

our two age ing pop s t a r s ,

Gary and A l v i n , had thei r

own persona l bat t le wh i ch

w a s won narrowly by A l v i n

(24th in 21:24) . Speedy S teve ,

recoup ing the benef i t s of

a c t u a l l y knowing the cou rse ,

ran a personal best of 22 :06 ,

and these three va l i an t m idd le ­

men enab led the f i rs t team to

s i l e n c e r af ter the f i rs t h igh

speed t r i a l , s o N i c k had to

w i thdraw from the next event ,

wh i ch c a u s e d him to m i s s the

the s p e c t a c l e of Mar t i n ' s

K a w a s a k i " w h e e l i e " away

from the start and lead the

race for 200 y a r d s ! La te r

on , in the second high speed

t r i a l , N i c k was about to over­

take Mar t in when the latter

had a spark p lug b low out of

h i s eng ine wh i ch c a u s e d him

to pu l l off the t rack . Ove ra l l

the f i n i s h p o s i t i o n s were : -

1st H igh Speed T r i a l - N i c k

12th, Mart in 15th of 16.

1st 8 L a p R a c e - Mart in 14th

of 18.

2nd H igh Speed T r i a l - N i c k

9 th , Mart in 12th of 15.

2nd 8 L a p R a c e - N i c k 10th

of 14.

Mar t i n ' s fas tes t lap was 1min

3 2 s e c s (58.7mph).

N i c k ' s fas tes t lap was 1min

2 7 s e c s (62.1mph).

F o r compa r i son , Dave

E a s t on h i s V e l o got round in

about i m i n 20sec and Tom

Pemberton on h i s 500 K a w a s a k i

in about 1min 1 4 s e c s .

O v e r a l l , a most en joyab le d a

V - n S L Wilks

Pranx f i n i s h in a very respec tab le

e ighth p o s i t i o n .

M eanwh i l e , a l i t t l e further

down the f i e l d , seve ra l

S t reakers were s t rugg l ing to

h ide thei r obv ious lack of

f i t ness accumu la ted over

the h o l i d a y s . H a c k e r E l l i s

(23:33) w a s , for once , reduced

to the lowly ranks of the

second team, though th is

team d id feature good runs by

C Hunter (24:38) and Mr

Johnson (25:13). B o y o Davey

(26:02) led home the th i rd

team, w i th sturdy support from

the back , in the form of

Ter ror Ta rnowsk i and Smooth '

N E a s y .

Next day was the 4 x 3 mi le

re l ay , the s t r eake r ' s resu l t s

be ing :

1st team 10th

S L l t t l e w o o d 16 51 S Webb 16 47

A Stardust 16 17

G G l i t t e r 16 24

2nd team 33rd

H E l l i s 17 32 C Hunter 19 32

D J o n e s 18 15 Mr Johnson 19 05

73 58 3rd team 40th

B Davey 19 05

T T a r nowsk i 21 16 E Donne l l y 23 12

B We I ford 19 47 84 25

Continued on page 10

C r o s s .Country

11 M U X

Orienteer ing

Rosen shines F O R T H E second t ime in

three months S t i r l i ng U n i v e r s i t y

was the cent re for a B r i t i s h

U n i v e r s i t i e s Sports Fede ra t i on

( B U S F ) c h a m p i o n s h i p s . C r o s s ­

country in February , and last

weekend for O r i e n t e e r i n g .

Members of the C o l l e g e c l u b

jo ined other or ien teers from

the U n i v e r s i t y of London to

form a combined team.

The Champ ionsh ips c o n s i s t e d

of an ind iv idua l event on

Saturday near K i l l in on the

banks of L o c h Tay and a

relay team event on Sunday at

The F o r e s t near A l l o a .

The ind iv idua l cou rse was

main ly sparse forest or open

f e l l s i d e , and the mens 8.0km

' A ' cou rse inc luded 370

metres of c l i m b i n g . Howeve r ,

spare t ime IC c ross -coun t r y

runner and in ternat iona l

or ienteer D a v i d R o s e n ,

proved he had the s tamina

for th i s type of cou rse by

w inn ing the ind iv idua l

champ ionsh ips in 53 mins

16 s e c , a c l e a r margin of

2V2 mins from Pete N i c h o l s of

Loughborough. Nex t for

London was A l i s t a i r D o y l e ;

69.53m ins and R i c h a r d

Gardner ; 70 .00mins . T h e s e

were fo l l owed home by C

R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S Webb.

On the mens ' ' B ' cou rse

(5.4km) f i rs t U L runner home

was lan M c A n u l t y , 30th in

69.09 fo l l owed by T Murphy

and L F a w c e t t . M Welford

mispunched 2 con t ro l s thus

s p o i l i n g an o therw ise respec t ,

ab le t ime.

On the womens ' B ' cou rse

our on ly lady compet i to r ,

D iane Benge , had a good run

to f i n i sh 6th in a time of 76 .18 .

Not content w i th h i s

s u c c e s s of the af ternoon,

D a v i d R o s e n was a l s o

amongst the p r i zes at the

C e i l i d h on Saturday e v e n i n g .

A b l y accompan ied by D iane

Benge they f u l f i l l e d a l l

q u a l i f i c a t i o n s in an e l im ina t i on

dance and then won the

wheelbarrow race between the

las t 3 c o u p l e s left on the

f loor . However , a l l was

forg iven when he promised to

share around the beer he won .

In cont ras t to Sa tu rday ' s

event , the cou rse on Sunday

was a heav i l y wooded s e c t i o n

of undu la t ing coun t r ys ide , one

s e c t i o n c o n s i s t i n g of a

comp l i ca ted network of

in te rsec t ing forest r ides

separated by dense under­

growth.

The U L 1st team was g iven

a good start when A l i s t a i r

D o y l e comple ted the 1st leg

on ly Vi minute down on the

leaders in a time of 33 - 28 .

R i c h a r d Gardner then kept

the team r ight ' up wi th the

leaders on the second leg

handing over to D a v i d R o s e n

on ly 4 seconds down on the

leade rs . However , w i th our

b iggest r i v a l s on ly 100secs

down on us at th is s tage D a v i d

The winning ULU. Far left Dave Rosen.

cou ld not afford any c o s t l y

m i s t a k e s . He in fact i nc reased

our lead to 2V2 minutes thus

w inn ing two gold meda ls in

as many d a y s . F i n a l p l a c i n g s :

1. London 102.51

2. Oxford 104.26

3 . Aberys twy th 112.57

The London 2nd team were

not so s u c c e s s f u l and many

e x c u s e s were put forward

a f te rwards . The team of C

R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S Webb

comple ted the cou rse in a t ime

of 197.00; a mere 95 mins

behind London 1st team.

Our lady compet i to r ,

D i a n e , jo ined up wi th L i v e r ­

pool U n i v e r s i t y for the re lay

race and ran 2nd leg tak ing

over in 3rd p lace from the

B U S F ind iv idua l l ad ies

champion Sue Barker . D iane

had yet another good run

keep ing the L i ve rpoo l team

in 3rd pos i t i on , but unfor tunate ly

the last leg runner was unable

to match t h i s . Rob Allinson in action

l

L l

T H U R S D A Y

13th MAY

t

N

Continued from page 9

MANX PRANX

Spark l i ng runs by A l v i n

and Gary ra i sed the f i rs t team

from 22nd to 10th. The second

team performed c o n s i s t e n t l y ,

though even B a b y f a c e cou ld

not save the honour of the

third team after two very

s teady runs by Terror and

Smooth 'N E a s y had left him

4 m i n s beh ind the next man .

E a s t e r Sunday morn ing ,

and the fe l l race up Greba

mounta in . No amount of fore­

warn ing can p o s s i b l y he lp

those being in i t i a ted into the

sport of f e l l - r u n n i n g / w a l k i n g .

They must bat t le it out them­

s e l v e s , f ight the good f ight -

and g i ve in q u i c k l y . But to

those p rac t i ced in the art ,

there may be w a y s of

t a c k l i n g th is m a s o c h i s t i c

en te rp r i se (and succeed ing )

C Hunter , on th is fatefu l day

in A p r i l , thought he had found

a way . Set t ing off l i ke a

bul le t out of a gun , he led the

race for much of the f i rs t

quarter m i l e . Hop ing that h i s

momentum would carry him

up the fe l l w i th the lead ing

runners, "he va l i an t l y swept

uph i l l at a rate of knots — but

no, back he dropped, to

s t rugg le at the back a long

wi th the rest of us who were

a l ready res igned to w a l k i n g .

N e v e r t h e l e s s , s e v e r a l

St reakers d id w in the i r

personal ba t t les wi th the

f e l l , notably Speedy Steve in

29 :13 , a minute ahead of

Gary and H a c k e r . Strapped up

l i ke an E g y p t i a n mummy,

Granny bat t led resource fu l l y

aga ins t Mr J o h n s o n , who f lew

down the fe l l in 33 :05 . B a b y -

f a c e , benef i t ing from a week

in Sco t l and , ran c red i t ab l y

for 36 :26 , f i n a l l y ' beat ing

B o y o . A l a s , at the back , the

decrep i t pop s tar , A l v i n

Stardust , con f ined to premature

ret i rement, and Smooth 'N E a s y ,

in an uno f f i c ia l t ime of 52

m ins , were beaten by the

mounta in . W e l l , there i s a l w a y s

next year .

That same even ing were

the boat r a c e s . Not a c r o s s the

Ir ish S e a , but teams of 4

supp ing a l e ext remely fas t .

The f i rs t team won their

f i rs t round heat , but were

narrowly beaten in the second

round ow ing to a c o c k - u p

in the draw by the o r g a n i s e r s .

The second team d r a n k s t e a d i l y

someone shou ld have to ld

them it was a r a c e . A f te r

c l o s i n g time at ten pm, a l l

indulged in a mass s i n g - s o n g ,

however , owing to the O f f i c a l

Secre ts A c t , the remainder of

the even ing ' s a c t i v i t i e s

remain s u b - j u d i c e .

F i n a l l y , we would l i ke to

thank A C C for prov id ing the

tour grant to of fset the c o s t s

of the weekend ; and a l s o

Manx A C , who organ ised the

whole weekend . The C r o s s ­

coun t ry C l u b is now s ign ing

off for th is s e a s o n , but

rumour has it that they are

to be re- incarnated as an

A d - H o c A t h l e t i c s C l u b .

by Banyface Welford