Document

F C U H

P A C K S P U N C H

J E Z W I N S

FUST PRIZE FOR JEZEBEL

Daring the vacation the R.C.S. Motor Club took Jezebel, the f i r e -engine nasoot of the Royal College of Science Union, down to Basildon near Southend, to compete in a rall y organised by the Historic and Com--meroial Vehioles Club.

Setting eff early i n the morning of Sunday 11th. September in bright sunshine we soon ran into heavy tr a f f -- i c and were delayed in several jams. As a result Of this we arrived late i n Basildon and missed the start of the parade. However, by judicious use of the accelerator we managed to catch up along the route. appropriately enougl the parade ended up at a oenaercial vehicle repair station where the oom--peting vehicles were lined up far the Conoours d'

Dominant among the entries were eleven Model "T" Fords, and a 1922 de Dion roadsweeper. This fine veh--iole was complete with de Dion rear axle and with a l l attachments in werk--ing order.

The Conoours d' Elegance was f o l --lowed by a driving test. In this the President of the R.C.S. Motor Club, Jin King, incurred the least number of penalty points and consequently won f i r s t prize. One of the photographs en this page shows Jim reoeiving the prize from the president of the H.C.V.C. The other photograph, for the benefit of those new to the College, i s an older picture of "Jez." in Prince Consort Kd.

After securing the prize money we made a hasty getaway. On the return journey we stepped only twice, f i r s t l y to quench our own thirsts at a pub, and secondly to quench Jez's when she ran out »f petrol.

S A I L I N G

A W A R N t N G

There a r e , i n t h i s c o llege, a l a r g e riSira-ber of i n o f f e n s i v e people who are v a r i o u s ­l y called yachtsmen,sailing-types,etc.. They may look i n o f f e n s i v e , b u t I oan assure you that when they get a f l o a t , o r whatever the t e c h n i c a l termis,they are d e v i l s i n ­carnate.

Once,and only once,have I ever been s a i l i n g , a n d i t was the most i n c r e d i b l e a f f a i r . The gentleman s t a r t e d by t e l l i n g me a l l about haliards,rudders,sheets and a l o t of other s t u f f that I didn't un­derstand.

We set o f f . "Steadyl"he cried,"We're going aboutJ""Aboutt?" I said."About what?"And then i t happened, t i l t h a sud­den swing the boat attempted to turn a r i g h t angle,the t h i n g that hangs from the mast hit me,and I was hurled i n t o the water. I clambered back,It was some time before he stopped laughing.Of course we repeated t h i s process a l i t t l e time later. That was i t as f a r as I was con­cerned.

L a s t week,a s a i l i n g club man asked me to go s a i l i n g w i t h him. I d e c l i n e d the o f f e r . Wouldn't you?

S C C M E E T I N G

The Union's s o c i a l olubs can be roughly divided i n t o three groupsi nat-- i o n a l clubs, r e l i g i o u s clubs, and p o l -- i f c i c a l olubs. In the former category arm* the Arab, Chinese, Indian, Pakistan, e?.,i PcVish S o c i e t i e s . The general aims of th*i»3 «>oieties seem t o be the streng--thea.-;<% of morale among t h e i r own members, who a r e ' o s s e t i a l l y r esident i n a strange country and t o act as ambassadors t o the r e s t of the College.

The Jewish Society seems to f a l l mid--way i n c l a s s i f i c a t i o n between the nat-- i o n a l clubs and the r e l i g i o u s olubs. There are two evangelical C h r i s t i a n soo-- i e t i e s , the Student C h r i s t i a n Movement (S.C.M.) and C h r i s t i a n Union (C.U.) The C.U, requires i t s members to aco-~ept ten points of doctrine, whereas the S.C.M. w i l l accept members of any C h r i s t i a n denomination. To c a t e r f o r s p e c i f i c a l l y denominational i n t e r e s t s there are the C a t h o l i c , Church),Anglicm./ and Methodist S o c i e t i e s . There i s a l s o the nawly formed Islamio Society. Humanists are represented by the Huxley Society.

The p o l i t i c a l s o c i e t i e s have represent -atives of the four main p a r t i e s i n the Conservative Sooietyjsthe S o c i a l i s t Society, the L i b e r a l Society, and the Marxist Forum. In ad d i t i o n there i s the I n t e r n a t i o n a l Relations Club (I.C.R.) which acts p a r t l y i n the r o l e of hosts to overseas students and p a r t l y as a forum f o r the discussion of i n t e r n a t i o n a l p o l i t i c s . L a s t l y there i s the Campaign f o r Nuclear Disarmament (C.N.D.)

The a c t i v i t i e s of these s o c i e t i e s are c o n t r o l l e d , co-ordinated, and pro--moted by the S o c i a l Clubs Committee (S.C.C".) on which a representative of each society has a place. The S.C.C. administers grants to the s o c i e t i e s , disbands the moribund s e e i e t i e a and approves the formation of new ones.

As a reminder to members, the next S.C.C. neeting' i s a$ 5.45 p.m. on October 17th. i n Conmittee Room "A".

The Recreational Clubs Committee has been formed i n order to- ease the admin-- i s t r a t i v e burden of the S.C.C. Last year the S.C.C. r 8 n f o r t y clubs., These olubs have now been d i v i d e d i n t o two roughly equal committees.

The f i r s t meeting, of the R.C.C. w i l l be convened i f f t h e near future and the o f f i c e r s f o r the year w i l l be elected.

The R.C.C. i s now r ~ - r n s J T i j»..f ia_. a l * oo-ordination and finance of thef f o l l o w — -ing olubs:-

FELIX

N E W S Doc P r i t c h a r d , l a t e of t h i s oolumn,is

now blowing r e a l l y way out i n Canada. His Prof.wears a grotty o l d T-shirt,and plays tenor.Sounds l i k e an absolute gas. On the l o c a l scene,Miles Davis has been gigging around town. Reports I have r e c ­eived.state that Chambers and S t i t t were a gas,in f a c t r e a l l y way-out,but the r e s t of the f e l l e r 3 spent most of t h e i r time "blowing off-stage.Not having seen the show,I must r e l y on the monosyllabic v o c a l d e l i v e r y of the Hammersmith Gaum-ont ice-cream vendors. They were d i s ­appointed.

The Imperial College jazz scene looks a l l set f o r a b l i s t e r i n g year. Notable new ventures are the new hard-bop group, a funky piano - l e s 3 quartet,an o u t f i t , f e a t u r i n g two trombones,and a seventy-f i v e piece rock band. Jazz club c h i e f Mike Saith'.is expected to blow hard-d r i v i n g skins,with the odd s k u l l and

Chinese block thrown i n . Nut-boy baS3 player,John Farnsworth,will be bend­ing that big-toned f i d d l e . I am t o l d he was l a s t 3een heading south from Glencoe,on the road with bass,trom­bone and f i v e crates of Scotch, Like Nut-boy i s I t i n e r a n t ! He c a r r i e s h i s Chinese d i c t i o n a r y with himaSt a l l time3.

Since the end of l a s t session,the Jazz club yak-harness has disappeared. This i s going to make things d i f f i c u l t f o r the Jazz club yaks. I am hoping to introduoe standardised jazz uniform f o r a l l the

f e l l e r a t h i s year. Green shades,beat' white duck trousers,smock and rope sandals. L i k e , d i g those swing threads TDad.I,am also compiling a beat d i c t i o n a r y , packed w i t h swinging phrases s t r a i g h t from i n f i n i t y . A must f o r anyone hop­ing to make the scene.

We end,this week,on a p o l i t i c a l note; I mean,Khruschev's a sweetie,but l e t ' s face i t , h e just doesn't swing.

RIMSHOT.

B i l l i a r d s & Snooker G l i d i n g Club Ice S t o t i n g Club Mountaineering Clnb R i d i n g Club Rover Crew Bridge A Chess Club S k i Club Underwater Club T.H.A. Group

Railway Society Wine Tasting Soc. Danoing Club Exploration Sec. F i l m Society Jazz Club Debating Society Musical Society Photographic Soc. Dramatic Society

The committee i s farmed from the

s e n i o r student members of each soc i e t y .

T E C H N r C A L

F R O M O U R R A V I N G

R E P O R T E R

. ov; that the President and Secretary

of the Union are both Roman C a t h o l i c s ,

the time may have come to consider the

suggestion of one Union member that the

bar be closed during Lent. We also hear

that the Union o f f i c e i s to be used f o r

lunch hour confessions. Charges w i l l be

modest,and a pay-as-you-confess scheme

i 3 to be introduced.

Overheard*on the ICWA c o r r i d o r ; " I don't' think I s h a l l have to get married."

We hear that Bob Finch's s i s t e r i s be­

smirching the f a m i l y name by j o i n i n g the

C.U. Perhaps the college's leading i n f i d ­

e l w i l l soon renounce Scrutiny and s t a r t

wearing holes i n h i s trouser knees i n the

Union o f f i c e .

Suggestion to end the e t e r n a l r e f e c t ­ory queue;Ban undergraduates from the Union.

He are pleased to note that the 1

l a t e s t issue of Phoenix i s the best f o r

some time. The lay-out was e s p e c i a l l y

good. The Phoenix board are disappointed

with the sales,however.l/6d i s n ' t very

much to p a y , r e a l l y . Shame on you a l l !

Sight f o r sore eyes 6n the "Christian

Union p r i n t i n g machine;a n o t i c e which s

says" Pray before you Print'! We now pre­

sume that our e d i t o r w i l l dash out and _

buy some second-hand cassocks,whilst the

s t a f f b u s i l y clean out the F e l i x c o l l ­

e c t i o n p l a t e .

Congratulation- -o Jtooney On the open­

i n g of the Buttery i n Queensgate ,for ev­

ening meala f o r postgraduates and members

of s t a f f . The q u a l i t y of the food here

i s very good.One improvement to a l l the

r e f e c t o r i e s which would cost very l i t t l e

i n terms of time and money,is the p r o v i s ­

io n of paper table napkins.

We have heard that the takings i n the

Bar during the l a s t 3 e s s i o n showed a rec­

ord p r o f i t . The p r o f i t made i n the bar

has,for some years helped to reduce the

l o s s madein the refectory,but l a s t year,

the r e f e c t o r y a l s o made a p r o f i t . Surely

i t i s not Union p o l i c y to run the bar at

a p r o f i t , a t the expense of student's hard-

earned grants. Then why doesn't the r e f ­

ectory committee reduce the p r i c e of beer?

I t i s to be hoped that i n the immedi­ate f u t ure the antiquated magic-box i n the reading room w i l l be replaced by a more r e l i a b l e model. The present one s u f ­f e r s from severe f a t i g u e . Strange buzzing sounds are c o n t i n u a l l y heard and myster­ious white l i n e s o c c a s i o n a l l y whizz acr­oss the screen. The Union can c e r t a i n l y a f f o r d the e x t r a 1+3 per week(out of bar p r o f i t s ? ) f o r a new super-de-luxe model. This would c e r t a i n l y s a t i s f y the most i l l u s t r i o u s and overworked gentleman at I.C. Indeed,an i n s p i r e d President could go f u r t h e r and arrange f o r a g i g a n t i c . screen to be f i t t e d i n t o the wall,as at ULU. The s i g h t of beautious ICWArians a c t i n g as usherettes and s e l l i n g pop­corn and ice-cream would soon make the reading room the most popular i n the Union.

With the s t a r t of a new session,refec-

tor y queues have once again become quite

i n t o l e r a b l e . The trouble i s that nothing

can be done about them. The k i t c h e n , i n

fact,seems to have been designed i n o r d e r

to defy a l l attempts to improve i t . With

r e f e c t o r i e s on three f l o o r s to be s u p p l ­

i e d from one s m a l l kitchen, t h e ( S t a n d a r d

of meals i s i n e v i t a b l y low. ' '.'

T H E S T A T U S S E E K E R S

I t w i l l be obvious to more other-direoted among my readers, that not a l l the f u t ure leaders of industry who oome to I.C., achieve the (status* of, say, President of the Union. I t i s desirable that Freshers should app­r e c i a t e t h i s sad f a o t ab i n i t i o and, i n attempting to beoome orientated lUnienwiae, s&Oa±6. aeespdinga^ised--l f y ambatlon to. match a b i l i t y . Remesoer.in the Union organisation there i s a niche f o r everyonel

The task, then, whioh faces each and a l l of us, and some more than others, i s to consider o b j e c t i v e l y i n what way, however "humbly, we oan best f i t i n t o the general pattern. Having achieved t h i s , i t merely remains to e s t a b l i s h oneself un­ambiguously by a q u i s i t i o n of the appropriate status symbols. The objeot of t h i s guide i s there­f o r e , to analyses the main l e v e l s •of Union organisation, and t o p o i n t out some of the mare obvious symbols other than the C o l c u t t t o s w %

B a s i c a l l y , members of the Union, by which term I mean those who have paid t h e - s t i p u l a t e d fees (or rather have them paid), f a l l i n t o three o a t — agories, which f o r ease of ident­i f i c a t i o n I w i l l designate: Top Men, Keen Types and Brown-Baggers. The la t t e r . f o r m , an overwhelming majority and are e s s e n t i a l to the smooth running of the organization. By vbluntardlyt f6regoing t h e i r l e g i t i m a t e r i g h t s , they f r e e the finances and f a c i l i t i e s of v'the Union, whioh are, i n any oaso, quite inadequate to cater f o r a l l p o t e n t i a l customers, f o r the use of the less-aeademloally f i x a t e d . Brown-Baggers are u s u a l l y smartly dressed and have the appearance of harbouring i n o i p i e n t u l c e r s .

By no means are they *e~*be oon-faaed with those other smartly dressed men of hurried step and preoccupied expression, whom you w i l l f i n d are going not to leotures but to oommittee meetings. These are Tpp ilen (or Union O f f i c i a l s ) and r e a l l y are harbouring u l c e r s , i n s p i t e of the tennis, Suoh men w i l l often be seen wearing ourious t i e s on Thur­sdays: t h i s i s d e f i n i t e l y the ultimate status symbol s a r t o r i a l w i s e .

Between these elegant extremes slouch a v a r i e t y of o i k s , odds and sods, clean-limbed, clear.eyed quick -thinking B r i t i s h Youths, e t s . , who alone provide the administrators with something to administrate. I t i s to them, the very baokbone of our Glorious •College, that, these remarks are primar­i l y d l r a o t e d . Who e l s e reads F e l i x any way; i t i s . n o s u b s t i t u t e f a r 2**

Times, Wool, etc.

These Keen^Typee oan be sub-divided i n t o Beerdrinkers and Others. This d i s -t i n s t i o n tends to beoome rather ' i n d i s t i n c t • e s p e c i a l l y around d o s i n g time. Never-the-less one should p o i n t out the o f f i c ­i a l objeot of Frehers Dinners i s to loo-ate the obvious supping t a l e n t as e a r l y as possible w i t h a view to grooming i t f o r f u t u r e stardom. ]^«ajjeo$ive Sporting Types should bear t h i s w e l l i n mind e s p e c i a l l y when not r e a l l y f i r s t teas m a t e r i a l ; i t oan make a l l ' the* difference .

Those, who d o n l t happen to l i k e beer ( e s p e c i a l l y the southern v a r i e t ­ies derived by degradation from de­natured dish-water) sftould, in-gen­e r a l and along with the l e s s energetio beer drinkers head f o r the l e s s e r g l o r i e s and greater oomforts offered by the numerous S o c i a l .Clubs, Sou'ld you be Exsoutive 'material' t h i s route to the Top i s not unduly disadvantageous.

The sain objective of.Joining any club i s to get elected to the ccatmittee, 33»&« i s simply a maSter vT getting: pbsed and seoonded by other prospective oommittee members an return f o r similar favours. Having thus become a demoora tioally chosen representative on as many committees as possible you w i l l then stand 3ome'sort of chance of get t i n g i n to Hostel I t . i s ofcourse true that some Freshers are already i n residence. We can only hope, that the Union w i l l survive this fundamental blow to i t s struoture . The optimum p o s i t i o n i 3 to have been i n residence as long as possible and then to move i n t o a f l a t i n Queen's Gate; but t h i s takes time. Meanwhile, you should aquire a motor bike or battered o l d par, which w i l l be dead cheap i n view of the advent of Vehicle Testing, and park i t in sens prominent place. It i s an advantage to be seen working on i t at i n t e r v a l s , since i t w i l l not then be neoeaaary for the thing to astaally go and money oan be saved on p e t r o l ,

'On the academic side i t can be a good thing to repeat a year but t h i s i s t r i c k y and, i n any case, you w i l l want to get a s u f f i c i e n t l y good deg­ree to do a i.G. course. This i s e s s e n t i a l i f you are to f u l f i l l your Union p o t e n t i a l . In general, do not make the mistake of pushing tooramubh; i t rubs people up the wrong way. For example don't go jumping Sefreotory queues, however long, just to.be seen with the r i g h t people; i t i s much bet t e r to buy them a drink i n the Bar afterwards. They may buy you one some day and then you are in - a f t e r a fashion. A p o l i c y of conformity with i n your chosen group always -pays o f f best.' ' The f a o t that t h i s group may hold r a d i c a l opinions; pro-N.U.S.-, down-with-Council, etc., i s n e i t h e r here nor there provided you are consistent. By a l l means a i r your views i n F e l l * " a n d at Union Meetings, then everyone w i l l know where you stand. That i 3 the e a e n t i a l p o i n t .

I have, of necesity, had to generalise extensively i n t h i s short t r e a t i s e . Never-the-less i t i s my hope that a c a r e f u l a p p r a i s a l of my remarks, w i l l a s s i s t the new comer i n adapting himself to thi3 novel environment.

And the best of B r i t i s h l u c k l

Diogenes.

FOOTNOTE; Any laok of mention of ICWA, ULU etc., i s f u l l y premeditated.

And that was a l l - for a moment , nothing happened, the cigarettes glowed on,the smoke rose upwards, then:

"Okay, Lights" - the director slew­ed round in bis chair. "I think you'll agree,Nicky, that was pretty hopeless., We'll have a re-shoot, but i f you can't do better - wail, we'll have to get someone else. Dejan_.it a l l , the script says ' terror in the eyes'. Yours were aa terrified as the herrings."

I stood at the back of the projec­tion room and watched the f a l l i n g star.

F A L L I N G S T A R

I stood in the dark and watched, Nicholas K. Housman had had this coming to him for a long time, the egotistical swine. So I stood i n the dark and smiled.

The amerioan d i p l o m a t i s t pat­tered down the stairs from the Emb basay. Briefcase under arm, carna­t i o n in buttonhole and the emaoul-a t e l y clean suede gloves gripping the elegantly tapered cane, he swung off down the road into the dusk. The confident stride of the man who oontrolled".the destiny ies of hundreds of states, thousands of towns, m i l l i o n s of lives, oould be heard long a f t e r he had disappeared into the f a i l i n g light.

The tread of his follower was the very antithesis. Furtive, skulking, the swarthy foreigner-kept the Ambassador in sight. -

They threaded their way through the Belgradian Mews coun­try, through the thickening yellow gloom, over the glistening eobble-stenes. They were in the heart of the maze now. They pass ~ed the pink and yellow doored flats and the long lines of dirty garages. The*foreigner knocked on a garage whioh instantly opened on well o i l ­ed hinges. But we followed the striding American along the f o o t of the ravine formed by the tower ing f l a t s , passed the battered dustbins, their lids askew, with the emaciated kitten gnawing at the rotting herring with the phosphorescent f l e s h .

The American paused on,the corner and fumbled f o r h i s gold c i g a r e t t e case. 4ie oatoh him up here'beneath the cone of feefble " l i g h t emitted by the s t r e e t lamp w i t h the dramatically broken pane. I t s rays slanted h i s well-nourished face and deep-set eyes. The rumble of West"*End t r a f f i c could be heard i n the distance and was now joined by the p u r r i n g of a large car as i t crawled up the mews.

Ha tossed the maftch away and stepped on to the cobbled road. The Renault's headlights pioked him out. The roar of t h i r t y horses, released simultaneously,ricochetted up the mews. Housman threw himself des­p e r a t e l y backwards,blinded by the blazing lamps. He s l i p p e d on the wet cobbles.' His legs waved grotesquely i n the a i r . The s i l v e r b u f f e r reared over him, the on-side tyres soythed towards h i s body. F r a n t i c a l l y he r o l ­led i n t o the gutter. The next second the c o l d g r i t t y rubber appeared t o pass over h i s elegantly creased trouser-leg. The car j o l t e d and swerved and Houseman must have f e l t the heat of the exhaust beat on h i s face. The car skidded to a h a l t .

The Amerioan l a y there w r i t h i n g i n a pool,of i r r i d e s c e n t o i l - s t a i n e d water, w r i t h i n g amongst those b e a u t i f u l colours. That expression on h i s face - i t was damned funny r e a l l y , I could hardly stop myself-laughing. The doors slammed. Housman made a desperate struggle to avoid the i r o n bar which f l a s h e d down on his close-cropped s k u l l - but i t ' s d i f f i o u l t to move f a s t when both your legs are broken. That part was done well enough. The now f i l t h y suede gloves feebly warded o f f the blow, but i t landed neatly on h i s temple. His head dropped back i n t o the o i l - s t a i n e d water and the blood, t r i c k i n g from h i s ear, added i t s l u s t r e to those b e a u t i ­f u l colours.

4 F E L I X

Ave atque valei No sooner here than gone again. Our editor takes leave of us to take on a rather higher position, and the editorship f a l l s to Rob Cheeney. We wish both past and future editors luck i n their new jobs.sBbth we feel will need i t .

F E L I X B O A R D

E d i t o r . Subi-Editor. Jtews-Editor, Sports E d i t o r . Production Manager Secretary. Buisness Manager.

J.Carter. D.Wilbraham.

R.Cheeney.

M.Crawley. D.Gilb-irt. Pain Gregory,

P.Young.

C O U N C I L

M E E T I N G

At an extraordinary meeting of the I.C. Union Counoil on F r i d a y l a s t , J.Carter was elected Hon.Sec. of I.C.

Counoil authorised the ROC to act i n accordance with i t s proposed c o n s t i t u t i o n and to proceed with the eleoti,on of o f f ­i c e r s and other required business.

Council authorised the'Union executive committee t o appoint a C a r n i v a l Organiser so that he might s t a r t h i s work a s Boon as p o s s i b l e .

F r e e S p e e c h

B L O O D

Dear S i r ,

I am w r i t i n g to express my amazement and disgust a t the c h i l d i s h d r i v e l l i n g s of R. T.L.Foth-eringham. I must assume that he comes from RSK,as/only there oan one f i n d suoh immature expression of the o l d White Sahib o u l t .

Mr.Fotheringham objects* to the interminable wranglings encoun­tered at Union Meetings. Surely the whole point of a Union Meeting i s to allow each member the opportunity to express h i s views on the running of h i s Union. Perhaps Mr.Fotheringham forgets that the Union belongs to a l l i t s mem­bers and not to the sheltered few. - even the slimy left-wingers pay t h e i r fees.

As f a r as the propagation of new s o c i e t i e s i s concerned,Mr.Fothering-ham aaatly t w i s t s tha- facts'. to s u i t - h i s d i s t o r t e d argument. Despite a Union meet­in g r e s o l u t i o n supporting the Boycott, there has never been a Boycott s o c i e t y , and there has never been any suggestion of a P a c i f i s t Society.

Mr.Fotheringham objects ^o the l o g i c a l suggestion that the President be elected by the Union General Meeting. Obviously,the only hope of having a Pres­ident supporting h i s v i o l e n t l y r e a c t i o n ­ary views i s to have the e l e c t i o n done i n camera by a few sycophantic oroniea, purporting to represent the more respon­s i b l e elements of the College,

I suggest that Mr.Fotheringham returns to the home of the gentleman and exgrcises his venom by whipping a few wogs.

Yours F a i t h f u l l y ,

J.Watson.

Dear S i r ,

In r e p l y to c e r t a i n remarks

about the nomenclature of the business

manager of F e l i x , I must t e l l you that

he i s P.Young,and,as f a r as I kacmr

Young is. the bearer of the name P.Young.

I f P.Young wishes to d i s s o c i a t e him­

s e l f from Felix,he w i l l have to e i t h e r

a l t e r h i s name or adopt the t i t l e P P . ^ J i .

B.Young himself. I suggest he has invented

ths name f o r himself .Is P.Young,sir,a nom-

ie-plume? 0 r i s i t a w i l d f r e a k of P.

Young's imagination? I,sir,am P,Young,and

refine to disappear merely at the whim of an anonymous preparer of mineral waters,

»ho has assumed my name.

Yours F a i t h f u l l y ,

P.Young.(Business Manager)

A D V E R T I S E M E N T S

WITH? I.C. and Bedford c o l l e g e s Y.H.A. group.

WHERE? The Lake Distriot,Buttermere Y.H. WHEN? 19th-21st November. WATCH the club notioe-board.

College Evening Chapel i s held every

F r i d a y i n Holy T r i n i t y Churoh at 5-05pm.

The Rev.D.W.Cleverley Ford gives a short

address.

FOE SALE: Musical slide role, plays "I'm counting on yea* when log-Tog scales are operated. Cheap. Box Ho. Z

BABSAIK.OFFER 0.£» JsuK.-J1arr.sa3 f « .sale PRICE 17 Struts OR Consider Exchange for

Chinese Dictionary,

Dear S i r , I demand an apologyj Your i n f ­

amous rag has(inadvertently)committed a gross slander on my name and lowered my reputation from next-to-nothing to noth-i n g - a t - a l l . But perhaps I-should explain the s i t u a t i o n .

I t a l l began l a s t Wednesday when I bought a copy of your l a t e s t issue and turned i n a desultory fashion to the E d i t ­o r i a l page-I was ourious to see who was producing the paper t h i s year. I was e l e c t ­r i f i e d to see,at the bottom of the l i s t , that I was business manager. I didn't rem­ember being appointed to t h i s post,but that i s not s u r p r i s i n g since I u s u a l l y f o r g e t a whole p i l e of junk - science f o r instanoe - over the summer vacation.

But then i t struck me that I was holding a espy i n my hand without anyone having t o l d me to get on with the bus­iness of managing; - I mean the managing of the business,or whatever I was sup­posed to do. That was most odd;how the h e l l would you have produced the wret-ohed thing without my assistance? I was hegining to get r e a l l y worried - was. I s u f f e r i n g from a Pe o u l i a r Case of Amnesia? Had I imagined the whole thing?Was i t r e a l l y F e l i x I waa holdlng?Where was I ? . .

....Who was I? What was I? A l i g h t dawned, - i t wasn't me at a l l , but someone else;there i s another P. Vfoung in. the c o l l e g e .

Now Sir,you oan understand my f e e l i n g s about t h i s matter and you und­oubtedly see the reasonableness of my request. I f - as I suspect - t h i s "P. Young"is r e a l l y p.B.Young,or P.Z.Young, or even P.Q.R.S.Young,would you please p r i n t h i s f u l l complement of i n i t i a l s ; i f he has j u s t one name would you b r i n g i t to the notioe of the whole of I.C. that I am not your business manager.

Yours F a i t h f u l l y , P.Young.

To Mr.R.T.L.Fotheringham.

Dear S i r ,

I Due t o the aleak of art)-' onymity that surrounds you,there i s no record of you being a t I.e.,I am forced to communicate w i t h you i n t h i s f a shion .

You s t a t e that l a s t year there was an attempt made to form a South A f r i c a n Boycott s o c i a t y . l t i s true that there was a South A f r i c a n society propos-ed,but i t s aim was to counter the boyoott and i t very soon f a i l e d due to laok of support. However,you may be r e f e r r i n g to the Boyoott sub-oommittee of the I n t e r ­n a t i o n a l Relations Club. I would point eat that t h i s i s aa e s t a b l i s h e d eoamittae and not a proposed soc i e t y . Moreover, to my knowledge there has been no attempt to form any other group to deal w i t h t h i s aubjeot. What then were you r e f e r r i n g to i n your l e t t e r i n the l a s t issue of F e l i x ?

I f you were r e f e r r i n g to the IRC sub-oommittee,then.aa founder of t h i s aootaittee.and as Hon.Sec of the IRC,I would appear to q u a l i f y as "a person i n charge of a society and t r y i n g to form a South A f r i c a n boyoott society. " Thus,I am des­cr i b e d by you as "a slimy l e f t - w i n g Foot-nick" or communist. My main occupation,I discover, i s e i t h e r dragging out Union Meetings by interminable wranglings, or i n s i d i o u s l y s l i d i n g myself i n t o command of s o o i e t i e s .

In r e p l y , I would say that *> before your l e t t e r , I thought I was a r e l ­a t i v e l y normal I..ACKILLAN TORY. I genuinely thought that I had been democratically elected to my o f f i c e and I f e l t sure that try speeches at Union meetings never l a s t e d more than a minute.

Thus I would ask you to help me. I f you'are not mistaken,then,can you exp l a i n how,overnight,I have turned i n t o the e v i l monster you describe.

I eagerly await your esteemed

r e p l y . Yours F a i t h f u l l y ,

D.S.Keroer.

FELIX 5

S O C C E R

On the f i r s t Wednesday and Saturday aft­ernoons of term the College Soccer t r i a l s mare held at Harlington.About 70 freshers attended,and I should l i k e to take t h i s opportunity of -welcoming them to the Club.The standard of f o o t ­b a l l amongst the freshers appeared to be h igh,and as a large number of l a s t years' players are s t i l l i n College,I think we can look forward to another en­joyable and successful season,It i s i n ­evitable,however,that i t w i l l taKe one or two weeks before the teams s e t t l e down,and freshers should not become too impatient i f i n i t i a l l y they f i n d they are playing i n a team whose f o o t b a l l r e a l l y does not s u i t t h e i r own a b i l i t y .

I t i s hoped,as f o r l a s t season, to run seven teams.As w e l l as matches i n the London U n i v e r s i t y Leagues many f r i e n d l y matches have been arranged so that most people w i l l be playing i n two matches each week.Trips to Swansea,Ox­f o r d , Cambridge, Southampton.etc. have been arranged and i t i s hoped that each team w i l l make at l e a s t one t r i p during the session.

This season i a p a r t i c u l a r l y im­portant i n as much as we hope to com­pl e t e a h a t - t r i c k of London U n i v e r s i t y Cup P i n a l winoVIn the 1959 and I960 Cup Finals.,respectively,Kings! and G o l d ­smiths were beaten and t h i s session we must again s t a r t as favourites.Nine of l a s t year's winning side are s t i l l i n College.

The C o l l s g * Cliib has, i n the- paarft, supplied a large number of players to the U n i v e r s i t y XI's,and i t i s probable t h a t t h i s t r a d i t i o n w i l l be continued'. B a s i l Jamea,the Welsh Amateur toterna»W-ional,has again been elected c a p t a i n , while C o l i n Caseraore i s f i x t u r e s secret­ary.

I was sorry t o see John Ereece

walking about' College w i t h h i s arm i n a s l i n g . I hope John makes a speedy recov­ery,and that we w i l l see him i n a c t i o n again a f t e r Christmas.

F i x t u r e cards are now a v a i l a b l e and can be obtained from o f f i c i a l s of the Club.Training sessions are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12.30 p.m.. F i n a l l y I should l i k e to remind every­one to t i c k t h e i r names o f f on the team sheets as e a r l y as p o s s i b l e .

C R O S S C O U N T R Y

At the Freshers reception,twenty fres­hers sighed on for the club. On Wednesday 5th October,ten of these accompanied byaa similar number of old lags,went to Peter­sham for a training run. Although this run was o f f i c i a l l y not competitive,two freshers,led Wilkina and John Young,show-ad excellent form.

Despite the absence of captain Jim Ber­nard, I.C.runners were' very much to the fore i n the UL "trials held over 65 miles at Parliament H i l l Fields on Saturday 8 t h October, John Collins and John Cleator finished 6 t h and 7 t h , while Fete Warren was 9 t h . The last named followed by Sod Wilkina,Dave Hammonds and John Young. Ted Wilkins and John Young were the only freshmen from any oollege to he placed, in $he f i r s t twenty.

J U D O

Last year the Club had a most im--pressive season, b r i n g i n g o f f seve r a l rather s u r p r i s i n g -victories. Perhaps the most pleasing r e s u l t of the season was a win over a r a t h e r l a r g e and h e f t y Met. P o l i c e team a f t e r some vigorous and s p i r i t e d f i g h t i n g .

Wo are hoping t o have a f a i r l y extensive programme of matches again t h i s year and I would once again l i k e to appeal to members of I.C. t o allow the p o l i c e team to come s a f e l y t o the gym. as we would l i k e to have a bash at them f i r s t .

Last year the Club had three members, J.Sheperd, M.Butler, and N.Ramsbottom who fought r e g u l a r l y f o r the U n i v e r s i t y team and represented the combined South East England U n i v e s i t i e s team. John Sheperd a l s o fought h i s way i n t o the E n g l i s h team and i s now reserve t o the Great B r i t a i n team.

This term we are holding a course f o r beginners on Wednesday evenings i n which we are hoping t o teach the a r t of break-- f a l l i n g and some of the b a s i c throws of judo. Why not come along and be secure i n the knowledge that you w i l l be able t o defend y o u r s e l f wherever you go, when­e v e r you are f i t to go out.

F E L I X

A . C . C .

M E E T I N G

On rhursday,6th October, twenty memb­ers of the AGO assembled in the Snack bar and the chairman,Mr,P.Davies,opened the meeting with- characteristic efficiency at about 5-30 pm. The minutes of the l a s t meeting were read and passed as atrue and correct record,there being no alternative, since of the assembled company only the Chairman and the two secretaries had been at the last meeting.

Under t!ie "matters arising",Mr,MacCrae asked i f the fence which the hockey club had asked f o r had been ereoted.The Chair­man replied in the negative,but s a i d that as an alternative the grass had been a l l ­owed to grow and he hoped this would pro­vide a suitable solution. He added that he was s t i l l Saconsultation with the ground­sman about this.

In reply to a polite question from the chair, the Hon,Sec. said that there was no oorredpondenoe.

•: lections followed. For the vacant post of Vice Chairman,there was one candidate only,Mr.Brough. He was duly elected. N. Ramsbottom and C,MaoCrae were elected to the 'Executive.Mr.Kealey was elected to the eolours sub-committee and was also appointed gymnasium organiser.

On the question of finance,the Chair­man emphasised the importance of ""the accuracy of the estimates,so that the nec­essity Bfb asking for supplementary grants at abater date night be avoided. This i s important because the ACC budget i s wor­ked out at tha beginning of the session and supplementary grants tend to upset .the balance.

The Chairman also said that a l l olub income must be paid directly to the Hon. Senior Treasurer(Dr.MoCoubrey)and that

this money must not be used as a source of petty cash. This was to be obtained from Dr.MoCoubrey.

Two tour reports war* read.The orioket club gave an expurgated version of the Devon tour,, and the Lawn Tennis olub gave an account of their tour i n Holland.

With regard to the matter of colours, several observations of note were made by Mr.hill(Frea.I,C.U.).

When the gymnasium timetable was dis­cussed, the Chairman asked i f the Athletic <aub^pi®wides f a o U i t t e s f o r people who' wanVecf" to do olrouit training for the sake of cicuit training.Mr.Cleator s a i d that such "brownbaggers"would be welcome.to train with members of the Athletic Club. Mr.Yorke said that these people ware quite welcome to train with the Boxing Olub (?)

N. Ramsbottom drew attention to the) untidy habits of certain weight-lifters i n the gymnasium. In reply.Mx,Hill said that the a Union rule existed whioh emp­owered the Gymnasium Officer with the right to forbid people to uae the gymnas­ium without his approval,and that this rule oould be invoked in suoh cases.

Since there was not muoh other busin­ess, the meeting was closed"somewhere about

R U G B Y

The Fresher's receptio n proved once again that the game i s in c r e a s i n g i n po p u l a r i t y . This year 100 freshmen or thereabouts have expressed the wish to play. Attendance at the constituent c o l ­lege t r i a l s on Wednesday and the I . C . t r ­i a l s on Saturday(de3pite the t e r r i b l e weather)were e x c e l l e n t .

ULU a l s o held t h e i r t r i a l s on Saturday, and 11 I.C.men were there. Two I.C. f r e s ­hers,P.McCormick on the wlng,and A.T.But­l e r , a t centre,are p l a y i n g i n the uni v e r s ­i t y ' s f i r s t matoh.Congratulations to these two and the " o l d lags" who managed to keep t h e i r p l a c e s , i n c l u d i n g K r i s Wronski, captain f o r the second year i n succession.

This season,every Monday evening,the club w i l l have the use of the gym.from 5p.m. onwards f o r c i r c u i t t r a i n i n g . This toaining i s i n a d d i t i o n to the usu a l Tuesday and Thursday outings i n the park.

One l a s t word,please TICK) OFF as soon as p o s s i b l e .

L A W N T E N N I S

A team of seven l e f t London for

Rotterdam on Wednesday 29th. June for

a ten days tennis tour of the Nether­

lands. Unfortunately we were not able to

send as Strang a team as we hoped, and only two of the touring team were reg­ular members of the 1st.VX. When the teur was f i r s t proposed rost of the College's better players had been en­thusiastic, but at l a t e r stages found •'themselves unable to come for various reasons. Thus our hosts were.inevita­bly l e f t with a very erronious impre­ssion of our standard of play.

Our f i r s t day i n Rotterdam was™ ipent in sightseeing,and the following lay we travelled to Delft,the strongest of the Dutoh Universities^or our f i r s t matoh.Roger Haycock13 f i r s t singles was against Wilhelm Maris,the Holland No.1, who had just returned from Wimbledon, having been beaten by Neale FraserJfeed less to aay,Maris won a l l his singles

and doubles matches,and our only v i c t o ­

r y was i n the bootom doubles,where Ian

Cameron and Tim M a r t i n won narrowly.Af-

tfit the match we were entertained mag­

n i f i c e n t l y by the students at t h e i r

c l u b .

From Delft we travelled to the Ha­gue, After a day's sightseeing i n the Hague, we played our next match againt Leiden University, which was also lost, but only by a narrow margin. The most

exciting match was between our f i r s t pair, Roger Haycock and David Glasser, and the Butoh f i r s t pair. I.C. just won 8-6, 9-11, 13-11.

Next day we went to Amsterdam, and played against the students on the m covered courts of the Amsterdam Lawn Tennis Club. The matoh was drawn 4 - 4 ,

Mioheal Bottomly and Alan Metheroott, each winning two matches.

The l a s t match was a friendly affair against Haarlem Lawn Tennis Club, and the following day we returned to London v i a Rotterdam.

• i — . in -aj • i J f a *

Published by F E L I X BOARD, Imperial College Union. S.W.7