How to Identify a Bully

Prairie View, Inc., a faith-based behavioral and mental health services provider, offers treatment and psychiatric services for all ages as well as consultations for businesses and organizations. In addition to our main campus in Newton with outpatient offices, psychiatric hospital, residential treatment for adolescents, and the Addictions Treatment Center, Prairie View serves patients in Hillsboro, McPherson and at two locations in Wichita.

Bullying among children is frequently defined as intentional, repeated hurtful acts or other behavior, such as teasing or name-calling, and threats committed by one or more children against another.

• Physicalbullying includes hitting, punching, strangling, hair pulling, biting or throwing objects (such as food, rocks, etc.) at another child.

• Verbalbullying includes spiteful name calling, teasing and gossip.

• Emotionalbullying includes rejecting, terrorizing, humiliating, blackmailing, manipulating friendships, isolating, ostracizing and peer pressure.

• Cyberbullying includes sending insulting messages by phone, texting, computer, email, photographs or videos.

What to look for if you suspect your child is bullied Unless your child tells you he or she is being bullied, it can be difficult to figure out if it’s happening. You might notice your child acting differently, seeming anxious, not eating or sleeping well, or avoiding things he or she usually enjoys. Other warning signs may include the child:

• Comes home from school with clothing that’s torn or in disarray, or with damaged books.

• Has bruises, cuts and scratches, but can’t give a logical explanation for how he got them.

How to Identify a BullyLearn the warning signs of bullying and how you can help a victim

Deborah Ellerbusch, T-LP

Transforming Lives

Call us at 1-800-992-6292

www.prairieview.org24-hour crisis line: 1-800-362-0180

@PrairieViewKSPrairieViewInc

• Appears afraid or reluctant to go to school in the morning, complaining repeatedly of headaches or stomach pains.

• Chooses an out-of-the-way route for going to and from school.

• Has bad dreams or cries in her sleep. • Loses interest in school work, and his grades suffer. • Appears sad or depressed, or shows unexpected

mood shifts, irritability and sudden outbursts of temper.

• Requests money from parents to meet the bully’s demands and might even resort to stealing money from other family members.

What to do if your child is being bulliedIt is common for children to not tell their parents they are being bullied because they may feel ashamed, embarrassed or frightened of the child(ren) bullying them. If your child tells you about being bullied, it has taken a lot of courage for her to do so and she should be acknowledged for her honesty. Remind your child that she is not alone – a lot of people get bullied at some time in their life. Emphasize that it is the bully who is behaving badly, not your child. Encourage your child that you will figure out what to do about it together.

• Listen carefully to what your child tells you about the bullying. Ask him to describe who was involved and how and where the bullying occurred.

• Encourage your child to talk to someone she trusts such as a mental health professional, guidance counselor, teacher, sibling or friend if she is uncomfortable talking to you as the parent.

• Do not encourage physical retaliation (“hit them back”) as a solution.

• Do not contact the parents of the student(s) who are bullying your child. This is usually a parent’s first response but could make matters worse. School officials can contact the parents of the child who did the bullying.

• Help to develop talents or positive characteristics of your child. Suggest activities to help your child feel more confident among his peers.

• Help your child meet new friends outside of the school environment. This can provide a new start for a child who has been repeatedly bullied.

• Teach your child safety strategies such as how to seek help from an adult when feeling threatened by a bully.

• Teach your child that although it is natural to get upset by the bully, this is what he thrives on and it makes him feel more powerful.

• Teach your child to firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. By ignoring the bully, your child is showing that she doesn’t care and eventually the bully will get bored with bothering your child.

• Assure your child that reporting bullying is not the same as tattling.

• Be patient. Conflict between children, more than likely, will not get resolved overnight.

Adventure Programs for YouthEmpowerment through games and recreational activities

Children flourish when they are confident, possess healthy conflict-resolution skills and know how to effectively communicate. The Prairie View Adventure Course can be a life-changing experience for youth. With seven high elements and 23 low elements, youth master specific skill building challenges for an experience like no other. And if you can’t make it to our course, our Adventure To Go team can design a program and bring it to you. For information about Prairie View’s Adventure Course, or Adventure to Go visit www.prairieview.org/services/adventure-course-recreation-programs.