Home: The State of Family in America

HOMEThe State of Family in America

®

At the center of every home is a homemaker.

What does it mean to be a family?

Who’s at the center?

It’s easy to think of a homemaker as a stereotype from an earlier time. And, to many of us, it seems like a homemaker can only be part of a certain kind of family.

But these days, a homemaker is anyone who makes a home. And that doesn’t mean staying at home and tying on a frilly apron. It means lots of different things. For lots of different families.

71%

We get nostalgic about old-fashioned values. And we feel like we want to go back to a simpler time, when everything seemed a little easier. When asked which decade was the best for children to grow up in, more Americans chose the 1950s than any other decade.1

71% of Americans say that they have “old-fashioned

values about family and marriage.” 2

85%75% 75%

85% of American adults say that the family they live in now is as close or closer than the family they grew up in.4

75% of Americans do NOT think that women should return to their traditional roles.6

67% of Americans are optimistic about the future

of marriage and family.5

75% of Americans say that they are “very satisfied”

with their family life.3

67%

But what we really want isn’t to be old-fashioned. It’s to be together.When we really think about what it means to be an old-fashioned family, we don’t want to go back to the way things were. We’re happy with the ways that we live and work together today.

There are more ways to be a family now than ever before.

And looking at the different ways of being a family makes our understanding of home deeper and richer.

Here’s what we’ve learned:

There’s a new kind of normal when it comes to the American family.

Marriage is changing.In 2010, less than half of all households in the United States included a husband and a wife. It’s the first time that’s ever happened - since the census started collecting household data in 1940. 7

46% of marriages in America today are remarriages for at least one of the people involved. 8

46% REMARRIAGES

Both moms and dads are spending moretime with their kids.

Married parents spend way more time with their kids now than they did in 1965. Moms have increased their time with kids by 21%. And dads? Have more then tripled theirs. 9

Over 90% of dads who live with their children talk with their kids about the day and have meals with them at least a few times a week. 10

MOMS DADS

There are more stepfamilies, adoptive families, and couples living together.

Step relatives are everywhere - 42% of Americans have at least one. 11

And so is adoption. 100 million Americans have at least one adopted family member. 12

More than 80% of births outside of marriage are to a couple that intends to raise their child together. And almost half of unmarried couples who have children live together. 13

The number of same-sex couples is increasing – fast.The number of same-sex couples living together has increased by 80% in the last ten years, according to U.S. Census Bureau estimates. 14

80%

We’re taking care of our parents longer.These days, most people will spend more time caring for their parents than they will caring for their children. 15

Our new family structures make us happy.

Because the love that exists between family members is a lot more important than how they’re arranged.

We know how important family is, and we make time for it.76% of adults say that family is the most impor-tant part of their lives. 16

84% of families with kids under 18 have family meals together at least a few times a week. 17

84%

Couples are sharing household chores and paid work more evenly.

Dads are sharing the load - since 1965, they’ve more than doubled the time they spend doing chores, from 4 hours a week to 10 hours a week. And moms have decreased their hours of chores from 32 hours a week to 18 hours a week. 18

26% of women now earn at least 10% more than their husbands. 19

MOMS (1965)

MOMS (2011)

DADS (1965)

DADS (2011)

Most of us are happy about the new ways couples are sharing work.Men are happier when they help with household work. 20

In one survey, 8 out of 10 young adults who grew up with a working mom said it was the best choice for their family. 21

62% of people say that “sharing household chores” is “very important” for a successful mar-riage, even higher than the number who say the same about “an adequate income,” only 53%. 22

SOMEWHAT IMPORTANT

0 25 50 75 100

SHARING HOUSEHOLD CHORES

VERY IMPORTANT

DON’T KNOW

NOT AS IMPORTANT

NOT IMPORTANT

Every family makes home in a different way.

And every family has its own unique strengths.

Interracial families:Most interracial families make a strong commit-ment to their children, and many spend more than the average amount of time and money on their families. 23

Adrian, Tracy, Jasmine, and Jade

Divorced families:About half of grown children whose parents were divorced said that their relationships with their fathers were very strong. Their fathers spent lots of dedicated time with them and attended many of their school and recreational activities. 24

Shari, Frederick, Chase, and Savanna

Singles:Most singles live happy and healthy lives, and have firm connections to their communities. They create strong relationships with their friends and maintain robust intergenerational ties. 25

Nien and Waffles (dog)

Same-sex couples:Same-sex couples not only share the load in the tasks of daily life, but they also tend to approach one another gently during times of conflict. 26

Many children of same-sex couples are proud of the way they’ve learned to treat others - with compassion and respect. 27

Susan, Carol, Jonathan, and Max (dog)

Stay-at-home parents:In many families where a mom or dad stays at home, the stay-at-home parent can devote lots of attention to school and extracurricular activities, spending extra time on homework, meeting with teachers, and leisure activities with the kids. 28

Rochelle, Ahjah, Malachi, and Eliana

Parents who both work:Children raised in families where both parents work learn to respect women and women’s roles. 29

62% of Americans say marriages are better when husbands and wives both have jobs and share responsibility for the household and kids. 30

Perteet, Frederick, and Clark

Single parent families:Single parent families tend to have healthy relationships with extended family, and keep them involved in their kids’ lives. 31

Single parents spend lots of time talking with their kids. 32

Krista, Ian, and Evan

Stepfamilies:Stepfamilies can provide multiple role models of both genders for children. 33

Successful stepfamilies work as a team, creating a strong support system that helps them maintain stability. 34

Amanda Lynn, Michael, and Gabriella

At Betty Crocker, we’re inspired by the unique strengths of every kind of family.

We’re learning a lot about the many ways different families are making home - and we want to share their successes with the world.

Love is all it takes to make a home. Love is why homemakers create somewhere warm, safe, and supportive for their families.

Talking together brings families closer, helps them work out tensions and problems before they get too serious, and helps them share the joys and sorrows of everyday life.

Modern homes - and the families who make them - have some important things in common.

1. Love

2. Communication

Vacations, meals together, and even just playing are important ways for families to enjoy each other’s company. Sharing the good things in life keeps families close.

5. Support Systems

3. Working Together

4. Playing Together

Sharing chores makes families happier and brings them closer together. When everyone feels responsible for making home, home belongs to everyone.

Sometimes, keeping a family together requires some outside help. Whether it’s neighbors, extended family, or friends, having a support system can make all the difference.

Where there’s a family, there’s a home. And where there’s a home, there’s a homemaker.

Everyone is part of a home, one way or another.

Home is what you make it.And we’re here to help.

®

1. What makes you proud of your family?

2. What is the biggest struggle your family faces?  

3. How do you work together to make a home?

Tweet your answers:

#familiesproject

bettycrocker.com/familiesproject

Join the Families Project. We’re on a mission to understand what it means to be a family, so we can share the strengths that make every family part of a home.

®

A special thanks to all of the families that helped.

Krista

Mary

Ian

Evan

Amanda

Michael

Mason

Gabriella

Miles

Rochelle

Ahjah

Malachi

Eliana

Susan

Carol

Patrick

Jonathan

Max (dog)

Frederick

Shari

Chase

Savanna

Perteet

Frederick

Clark

Adrian

Tracy

Jasmine

Jade

Nien

Waffles (dog)

Citations1. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 33.

2. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

3. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

4. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

5. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

6. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

7. “Living arrangements evolve,” Las Vegas Review-Journal, January 13, 2013, accessed April 20, 2013, http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/living-arrangements-evolve.

8. Osborne, Judy, “Remember Stepmothers on Mother’s Day,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 10, 2009, accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/children-parent-

ing/stepmothers.html.

9. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001, accessed

April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

10. 10 Livingston, Gretchen and Kim Parker, “A Tale of Two Fathers: More Are Active, but More Are Absent,” Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project, June 15, 2011, ac-

cessed April 18, 2013, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/06/15/a-tale-of-two-fathers.

11. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “A Portrait of Stepfamilies,” Pew Research Center, January 13, 2011, accessed April 15, 2013, http://www.pewsocialtrends.

org/2011/01/13/a-portrait-of-stepfamilies.

12. “Press Advisory: CCF Conference on ‘Families as They Really Are: How Do We Use What We Know?’” Council on Contemporary Families, January 30, 2010, accessed April 18, 2013,

http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/conference/2010conference.html.

13. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001,

accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

14. Lofquist, Daphne et. al., “Households and Families: 2010: 2010 Census Briefs,” U.S. Census Bureau, April, 2012, accessed April 20, 2013, http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-14.

pdf, 5.

15. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001,

accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

16. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

17. Cohn, D’Vera. “Family Meals, Cohabitation, and Divorce,” Pew Research Center Social and1 Demographic Trends Project, April 8, 2011, accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.pewsocial-

trends.org/2011/04/08/family-meals-cohabitation-and-divorce.

18. Parker, Kim and Wendy Wang, “Modern Parenthood: Roles of Moms and Dads Converge as They Balance Work and Family,” Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project,

March 14, 2013, accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/03/14/modern-parenthood-roles-of-moms-and-dads-converge-as-they-balance-work-and-family.

19. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 2: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings on Gender, Family, and Equality,” Council on Contemporary

Families, April 17, 2009, accessed April 18, 2013, http://contemporaryfamilies.org/all/uncon-ventionalwisdom2.html.

20. Vachon, Marc and Amy and Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, “Why Every Day Should Be Father’s AND Mother’s Day: A Commentary Prepared for the Council on Contemporary Families,” Council

on Contemporary Families, June 19, 2011, accessed April 20, 2013, http://www.contemporary-families.org/children-parenting/why-every-day-should-be-fathers-and-mothers-day.html.

21. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001,

accessed April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

22. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “Modern Marriage,” Pew Research Center, July 18, 2007, accessed April 15, 2013, http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2007/07/18/

modern-marriage.

23. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001, accessed

April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

24. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 1: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings,” Council on Contemporary Families, May 4, 2001, accessed

April 18, 2013, http://www.contemporaryfamilies.org/all/wisdom1.html.

25. Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 2: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings on Gender, Family, and Equality,” Council on Contemporary

Families, April 17, 2009, accessed April 18, 2013, http://contemporaryfamilies.org/all/uncon-ventionalwisdom2.html.

26. 26 Coleman, Joshua and Stephanie Coontz, ed., “Unconventional Wisdom, Issue 2: A Survey of Research and Clinical Findings Prepared for the Council on Contemporary Families’ 13th An-

niversary Conference at Augustana College, Rock Island, Illinois,” Council on Contemporary Families, April 16, 2010, accessed April 18, 2013, http://contemporaryfamilies.org/all/unconven-tional-wisdom-issue-3.html.

27. Pappas, Stephanie, “Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents,” LiveScience, January 15, 2012, accessed April 25, 2013, http://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html.

28. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 159.

29. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 159.

30. Pew Research Center Social and Demographic Trends Project. “The Decline of Marriage and the Rise of New Families,” Pew Research Center, November 18, 2010, accessed April 15, 2013,

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/11/18/the-decline-of-marriage-and-rise-of-new-families.

31. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 162.

32. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 163.

33. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 168.

34. Coontz, Stephanie, The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms with America’s Changing Families, (New York: Basic Books, 1997), 167 – 168.

Citations