HELPING GRIEVING CHILDREN BUILD RESILIENCE Saradha Ramachandran HELP Family Service Centre.

HELPING GRIEVING HELPING GRIEVING CHILDRENCHILDREN BUILD BUILD

RESILIENCERESILIENCE

Saradha RamachandranSaradha RamachandranHELP Family Service CentreHELP Family Service Centre

ObjectivesObjectives

Understanding concept of Understanding concept of change and losschange and loss

Understanding impact of loss on Understanding impact of loss on childrenchildren

Ways of helping grieving Ways of helping grieving children build resiliencechildren build resilience

Understanding childrenUnderstanding children

SELFSELF

Thoughts

Behaviour Feelings

Understanding childrenUnderstanding children

CHILDCHILD

FAMILYFAMILY

NEIGHBOURHOODNEIGHBOURHOOD

PEERPEERSS

SCHOOLSCHOOL

COMMUNITYCOMMUNITY

EXTENDED FAMILYEXTENDED FAMILY

Change…Change… Shift from a normal pattern of Shift from a normal pattern of

life that has been developedlife that has been developed Involves losses and gainsInvolves losses and gains Need to re-establish stabilityNeed to re-establish stability

Change & Loss…Change & Loss…

EventEventSeparationSeparationDivorceDivorceDeathDeathLossLoss

Understanding of loss …Understanding of loss …

UniqueUnique Developmental stageDevelopmental stage AbilitiesAbilities Support availableSupport available

Impact of loss on children…Impact of loss on children…

PhysicalPhysical EmotionalEmotional MentalMental BehaviouralBehavioural SocialSocial SpiritualSpiritual

Grief ModelGrief Model

William Worden’s (1991) 4 task William Worden’s (1991) 4 task of Mourningof Mourning To accept the reality of lossTo accept the reality of loss To experience the pain of griefTo experience the pain of grief To adjust to an environment in To adjust to an environment in

which the deceased is missingwhich the deceased is missing To find an enduring connection To find an enduring connection

with the deceased in the midst with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new lifeof embarking on a new life

Definition of resilienceDefinition of resilience

The ability in coping and adapting The ability in coping and adapting to the changes and the challengesto the changes and the challenges

The capacity to bounce back from The capacity to bounce back from disappointments and adversitydisappointments and adversity

A process which constantly draws A process which constantly draws strength in the adversity and taps strength in the adversity and taps on potentials for recovery and on potentials for recovery and growthgrowth

AssumptionsAssumptions

Each child is unique.Each child is unique. Each child has the potential for Each child has the potential for

resilienceresilience Each child has the potential to Each child has the potential to

develop resilience from the develop resilience from the resources around them resources around them

Components of resilience Components of resilience

Social CompetenceSocial Competence Problem SolvingProblem Solving Critical ConsciousnessCritical Consciousness AutonomyAutonomy A sense of purposeA sense of purpose

Strength based ModelStrength based Model

Rutter (1987)Rutter (1987)Decreasing risk factorsDecreasing risk factorsReducing negative chain Reducing negative chain reactions that heighten riskreactions that heighten riskStrengthening protective family Strengthening protective family processesprocessesBolstering esteem and efficacyBolstering esteem and efficacy

Approach…Approach…

Understanding the lossUnderstanding the loss Making sense of the lossMaking sense of the loss Responding to the lossResponding to the loss Learning from the lossLearning from the loss

Strategies for developing Strategies for developing resilienceresilience

Rapport buildingRapport building Respect child’s values and Respect child’s values and

beliefsbeliefs Reframing challenges and Reframing challenges and

language uselanguage use Reaffirming positives and resist Reaffirming positives and resist

labelinglabeling Refocusing on the childRefocusing on the child

Challenges…Challenges…

Finding balance in self and Finding balance in self and childrenchildren

Overly-enthusiastic Overly-enthusiastic Overly-focused on resilienceOverly-focused on resilience Support for self and childrenSupport for self and children Developing own’s resilienceDeveloping own’s resilience Collaboration with other Collaboration with other

organisationsorganisations

EndEnd