Has porn (really) hijacked our sexuality? Re/constructing "Indian" nationhood through the sexual narratives of Indian men and women

Institutional and Technical Support —Sector Policy Support Programme

Re/constructing ―Indian‖ nationhood

through the sexual narratives of Indian

men and women*

Paper prepared for delivery at the IX IASSCS Conference, Sex

and the Marketplace. 29 August, 2013. Buenos Aires, Argentina

Subir K Kole

Degree Fellow

East West Center, Honolulu HI, USA

Has porn (really) hijacked our

sexuality?

* Research in progress... Findings are only ad hoc, rough and ready


WARNING !!!

This presentation contains explicit description of certain sexual acts and practices as shown in pornography.

Audiences’ discretion is advised!


In recent years, there is a widespread concern

(globally) that pornography is hijacking (or has

hijacked) our sexuality. The argument ranges

from growing violence against women;

pornificaition of sexual relationships in

bedroom, detachment of sex from emotions, to

marital disharmony and intimate partner

violence/ relationship problems (Dines 2011).

Background


* Triggered by this concern, there are anti-porn

movements (US, UK). There are sex-negative

feminists Andrea Dworkin (Dworkin, 1981;

1985); Catherine MacKinnon (1989; 1993) the

members of Women Against Rape (WAR) and

members of Women Against Pornography

(WAP).

* India - Move to ban pornography -- Deep

entrenchment of state into the private sphere;

State to dictate what one can do in the

bedroom; Interferes with right to privacy and

freedom of speech

Result…!

The Social Context

India is a highly sexually repressive country

(Vanita and Kidwai 2004).

Free mixing of gender is often not allowed.

Girls are withdrawn from school as soon as

they reach puberty with the fear of mixing

with boys (Dreze & Sen, 1995, p. 196).

Boyfriend-girlfriend relationship across

caste lines often result in “honor-killing”.

Even in urban areas, it is difficult to live-in

with your girlfriend, because no one rents

out an apartment if you are not married.

Masturbation is sin, leading to impotency

and premature ejaculation

Sex work is criminalized. Customers end up

in jail.

The question is: Where and how does one

channelize his/her sexual energy positively?

What is India’s “National Fantasy”?

* Porn (or to have sex like a porn star…?)

* Ministers are caught watching porn in the Assembly House.

* Sunny Leone remains the most searched celebrities in India. Of course Google does not yield result of “religious” websites.

* Porn affects everyone’s life intimately.

* 82% men and 33% women in rural areas and metro cities have watched porn in last month (India Today March 2013).


* India has over 720 million active mobile

subscribers (TRAI, March 2013).

* With over 22 million internet connections of

which 15 millions are broadband ; and over

half of the total mobile phones are of

“smartphone” type with 3G enabled data,

India boasts of being at the edge of

communication revolution.

* Cheap smartphones, 4-G technology and

internet, has made pornography widely

available anywhere in India (from remote

rural areas in the Himalayas, to the urban and

semi-urban areas).

Basic facts: India


This paper aims to do two things:

• It aims to examine the radical feminists (or anti-porn

activists’) claim if and whether porn has (or is indeed)

hijacking our sexuality.

• Considering that porn is widely available and used, to what

extent the pornification of sexual relationship is prevalent in

the Indian context?

• In doing so, this paper aims to disentangle the overlapping

territories of national identity and nationhood and will

delineate how sexual markers and sexual practices are used

to define national identities and nationhood.

Objectives


• In-Depth qualitative interviews of 10 men and 10 women was originally

designed.

• All the samples were chosen based on a peer network (snowball)

methodology – the “closest friend” of a sample-individual interviewed

his/her “closest friend” only.

• This process continues until a desired sample of 10 men and 10 women

were reached. Small reward (a couple movie ticket for a blockbuster movie)

was attached as an incentive to complete the survey).

• Peers and “closest friends” were chosen to allow free, open and honest

communication on private sexual lives. Talking about sex between “best

friends” was not new to this sample population.

• All the sample population were married and have watched porn at least

once in the last one month.

Methods


• It was suspected if a small sample as this could somewhat represent the true

population characteristic. So I decided to go ahead to conduct a “survey” (to

substantiate and check if the results differ in any way).

• The in-depth interviews provided the basis for designing a structured questionnaire

that was uploaded in SurveyMonkey and circulated to friends using Facebook paid

advertisement.

• The interviews of additional 36 respondents with 9 women and 31 men were used

to corroborate the findings of this study.

Methods contd…

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/J7TB3RY


Contrary to the moral panic about porn is

hijacking our sexuality, the studied

population did not show substantial

pornification of sexual relationships in the

Indian context.

Despite prolonged exposure to

heterosexual “American” pornography,

the sexual behavior and practices of most

of the respondents remained “Indian”.

Rather some of the respondents

defended their sexual practices as

“good,” “moral,” and “Indian” as opposed

to “bad”, “immoral” and “foreign” as

shown in porn.

Findings


• Porn was only used as a tool for

deriving excitement – but when

it came to the actual “act” of

having sex, it reiamed “Indian”

• Very few men and women were

of course adventurous who tried

to imitate the porn-stars. But

they also substantiated, that if

they did not like a particular act,

they talked about it and did not

repeat it.

Why used porn?


• Despite prolonged exposure of the

study population to porn, the adoption

of porn practices were poor.

• Some of the practices were

experimented with only once (swallow).

Practices such as “Ass to mouth” was

absent. “Pussy to mouth” was practiced

by one woman out of 19.

• For majority of them, if a partner did not

like a specific sexual practice, the

spouse respected the decision

• Example of a typical questionnaire

―Porny‖ sex…!

C:/Users/Subir/Documents/IASSCS/Data/Response_35_130818.pdf


• The study also mapped the imaginative landscape and sexual

fantasies of men and women to check whether pornification of

sexual relationships exist at the psychological level :

• Desires were gendered – men wanted to have sex like a

pornstar – facial, DP, anal, swallow.

• Women practiced it mostly to please their partner (cultural

barriers and traditions played a role).

• Yes, Indian women do have gangbang fantasies (3/19) and

―rape‖ fantasies too (5/19).

• 2 out of 19 women had DP fantasies of being penetrated by

two men simultaneously (when you have sex with your

partner, do you fantasize about being penetrated by another

man simultaneously?)

• ―Facial‖ – 7 out of 60 (2 women and 5 men engage in facial as

a regular practice); Swallow – 0 out of 19 (one woman

remembers she did it once some years back)

XXX desires


• In the man’s imaginative landscape, only 2 out

of 41 Men had DP fantasy (seeing their wives

being simultaneously penetrated by himself

and another man who is a friend).

• When it comes to practice, only 2 out of 41 has

given their female partner a DP feeling (by

inserting a finger or a toy in the anus

alongside penis in the vagina).

• For majority of men, despite watching porn,

DP (or the presence of another man) did not

occupy their imaginative landscape.

• Similarly, 4 out of 41 men regularly engage in

―facial‖ – a much hyped and most political

topic among radical feminists.

Porn reconstructing ―love‖

Narrative of a man who “loves” his wife

till death…!

Narrative of a woman who does it all

because she “loves” her husband…!

Are Facials (Yes, THOSE Facials) Really On The Rise.pdf

Are Facials (Yes, THOSE Facials) Really On The Rise.pdf

Semen Facials Are Like Weddings - The Sexist.pdf

Semen Facials Are Like Weddings - The Sexist.pdf


Facial was not seen by the receiver (female) as “degrading.”

Rather it occupied an erotic dimension of women’s sexuality.

3 out of 19 women enjoyed receiving facial. Men were from

Mars (20 out of 41 men enjoyed giving a facial, though only 4

practiced it 60% of the time they had sex).

Men did not do facial to “degrade” or dehumanize their

partner – rather they wanted to enact the fantasy as they saw

in porn.

Women’s “Breast” is “Argentina” or Pakistan(?) and “Face” is

Chile or India(?). Why it’s OK for a man to cum on the

breast, but not on the face?

There is a complete territorialization of human (woman’s)

body. You can cum in India, but not in Pakistan!

Politics of where semen landed!


• Practices of genital -- vaginal

and anal grooming for men and

women was limited to the

method of shaving only.

• Tattooing, piercing, bleaching,

glittering in the genital area was

not present (0/60).

• The aesthetics of grooming –

such as a landing strip, or

―triangle‖ was present in the

case of 8/60 sample studied.

• Surprisingly, majority of the

respondents believed that their

grooming-style was not

influenced by porn.

Adopting porno-fashions


• While anal sex is sometimes experimented upon, taking enema, cleaning the rectum before sex; or doing ―cumfart‖ remained a ―foreign‖ concept.

• About two-thirds of the respondents believed porn has very little to do with their current sexual practices – they would have done these anyway had they never watched porn.

• We are ―Indians,‖ and hence ―moral,‖ -- we do not do dirty stuff. Our sexual practices define who we are (lesbianism, threesome, etc. are foreign).

And we are ―Indians‖


• If porn leads to violence against women, then

everyday exposure to violent materials in TV would

have made every one of us a “criminal.”

• Data from 1970-1995 in five countries did not find

any evidence of liberalization of porn with violence,

and rape (teasing) against women (Pacific Center

for Sex and Society, Milton 1999).

• Watching porn does not always lead to pornification

of sexual relationship – the relationship is not always

direct/ and linear.

• Of course it makes one aware about multiple ways

desires can come and be realized. But adoption of

these practices depends on “individual” -- age of

exposure, and frequency of watching porn.

Conclusion


• Characteristics of the study

population – highly educated, urban

middle class having access to

technology and internet.

• In all likelihood, they are the one

who use porn – not the poor,

illiterate people without access to

internet and technological knowhow.

• If porn could not restructure sexual

practices of this group, it is unlikely

that it would have substantial impact

on the rest.

A word of caution!

Banning pornography is a bad move

guided by opinion/ideology and not

based on evidence.


My orgasm is my

right. It’s a politics-

free zone…

And finally!

And “State” is no one to decide how I get there.

So keep your fu**** politics out of my bedroom!