Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes

How do monsters tell their future?

They read their horrorscope...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?

Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving...

What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?

Decoffinated...

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn

flakes?

A cereal killer...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?

A stake sandwich...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?

He heard it had great circulation...

Why wasn't the vampire working?

He was on a coffinbreak...

What do skeletons say before eating?

Bone Appétit...

What kind of spirits serve food on a plane?

Airline ghostesses...

Why did the skeleton climb a tree?

Because a dog was after its bones...

Where do ghosts go swimming?

The dead sea...

What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor?

Veinilla...

Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties? Because he's a pain in the neck...

Who is a skeleton's favorite emperor?

Napoleon Boneaparte...

Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?

They couldn't find their bats...

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?

I'll have two beers and a mop...

To be continued...