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Hadrian and the Moonbiscuit by Andrew Kilgariff

Apr 04, 2018

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    Ofbnbeg jr`l G`vfe, Gnfsg`w, toh futo`r wfs f prblfry

    sio``n ohfk thfiohr j`r f eulahr `j yhfrs. Qhtbrbeg hfrny,

    oh t``d up wrbtbeg fekOfkrbfe fek toh L``eabsiubtwfsa`re.

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    O KQB EEK [OH

    L@@EABYIXB[

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    B khkbifth tobs e`vhn t` ly w`ekhrjun wbjh Nbekf fek t`

    ly beirhkbanh kfugothr Cunbh, j`r tohbr i`estfet n`vh,

    supp`rt fek hei`urfghlhet.

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    F e k r h w D b n g f r b j j

    OFKQBFE

    FEK [OHL@@EABYIXB[

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    I`pyrbgot F e k r h w D b n g f r b j j

    [oh rbgot `j Fekrhw Dbngfrbjj t` ah bkhetbjbhk fs futo`r `j

    tobs w`rd ofs ahhe fsshrthk ay obl be fii`rkfeih wbto shitb`e

    77 fek 7? `j toh I`pyrbgot, Khsbges fek ]fthets Fit 62??.

    Fnn rbgots rhshrvhk. E` pfrt `j tobs puanbiftb`e lfy ah

    rhpr`kuihk, st`rhk be f rhtrbhvfn systhl, `r trfeslbtthk be fey

    j`rl `r ay fey lhfes, hnhitr`ebi, lhiofebifn, po`t`i`pybeg,

    rhi`rkbeg, `r `tohrwbsh, wbto`ut toh prb`r phrlbssb`e `j toh

    puanbsohrs.

    Fey phrs`e wo` i`llbts fey uefuto`rbzhk fit be rhnftb`e t`

    tobs puanbiftb`e lfy ah nbfanh t` irblbefn pr`shiutb`e fek ibvbn

    infbls j`r kflfghs.

    Fnn iofrfithrs be tobs puanbiftb`e frh jbitbtb`us fek fey

    rhshlanfeih t` rhfn phrs`es, nbvbeg `r khfk, bs purhnyi`beibkhetfn.

    F IB] iftfn`guh rhi`rk j`r tobs tbtnh bs

    fvfbnfanh jr`l toh Arbtbso Nbarfry.

    BYAE 27? 6 ?;2:9 162 8

    www.fustbelfifunhy.i`l

    Jbrst ]uanbsohk (1=61)Fustbe & Lfifunhy ]uanbsohrs Ntk.

    18 Ifefkf Yqufrh

    Ifefry Wofrj

    N`ek`e

    H6; 8NA

    ]rbethk & A`uek be Grhft Arbtfbe

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    IOF][HQ SHQ@

    Ofkrbfe Wfnn bs hnhvhe yhfrs `nk. Oh bs fe `eny iobnk.

    Oh nbvhs be f l`khre hstfth ehfr t` obs sio``n. Ofkrbfe

    w`unk k` ahtthr ft sio``n bj oh pfbk l`rh ftthetb`e, aut

    jbeks bt ofrk t` i`eihetrfth wohe ohs a`rhk. Oh shhls

    t` ah g``k ft wrbtbeg, pr`anhl-s`nvbeg, sp`rt fek lftos.Ofkrbfe ofs f o`st `j gflhs j`r obs ]nfyYtftb`e fek

    spheks luio `j obs jrhh tblh hec`ybeg tohl. Oh fns`

    pnfys iohss fek j``tafnnbe a`to ifshs j`r obs sio``n

    fek nbdhs swbllbeg fek pnfybeg wbto jrbheks. Obs ahst

    jrbhek bs Q`aabh Q`lfes. Q`aabh ofs f sbsthr N`ref,

    wo` bs twhnvh fek kr`p khfk g`rgh`us. Ofkrbfe ofs f

    vhry str`eg aut vhry shirht iruso `e ohr.

    Oh k`hset ofvh f jfv`urbth j``k, aut bs pnhfshk

    wohe oh ghts iobidhe, iobps, pbzzf, Iobehsh j``k, grfthk

    rfw ifrr`t, l`st jrubt fek fnn io`i`nfth. Oh ofths

    Arusshns spr`uts, lusor``ls fek autthr ahfes.

    Oh hec`ys whfrbeg chfes, wobth trfbehrs, o``kbhs

    fek [-sobrts fek bs vhry uei`lj`rtfanh be sio``nuebj`rl, hxihpt toh swhftsobrts fek hsphibfnny toh tbh.

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    Oh wbnn ah twhnvh s``e fek w`unk khfrny nbdh f

    l`uetfbe abdh nbdh Q`aabhs j`r obs abrtokfy.

    Ofkrbfe ofs ehvhr ahhe t` toh l``e ahj`rh.

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    IOF][HQ 6

    Ofkrbfes hyhs sprfeg `phe. Woy ofk oh wfdhehk up s`

    sukkheny be toh lbkknh `j toh ebgot0 Oh nfy jnft `e obs

    afid wobnh obs hyhs pbhrihk toh kfrdehss j`r f inuh. Bt

    wfs pbtio anfid kfrdehss. E`t f iobed `j nbgot phhphk be

    feywohrh be obs ahkr``l. Obs ohfrt toukkhk be obs hfrs.Oh jhnt ahfks `j swhft j`rlbeg `e obs thlpnh fek `e obs

    t`p nbp. Oh wfethk t` nbid obs nbps, aut i`unket. Oh

    wfethk t` so`ut, Wo`s tohrh0

    Yn`wny, hxtrhlhny sn`wny, oh krhw obs rbgot ofek

    `ut jr`l uekhr toh kuvht fek rfe obs jbeghrs qubhtny `vhr

    obs hyhnfsohs t` iohid toft obs hyhs whrh `phe. F

    rfspbeg s`uek stfrthk up vhry ehfr toh ahk fek

    Ofkrbfes punsh fiihnhrfthk. Oh wfethk t` so`ut `ut t`

    obs kfk fek lul, aut obs tor`ft shhlhk t` ah in`shk. Oh

    sukkheny rhfnbshk toft toh rfspbeg s`uek wfs obs `we

    arhftobeg. Y`lhtobeg ofk wfdhehk obl, to`ugo. Oh

    strfbehk hvhry `eh `j obs jbvh sheshs t` try fek bkhetbjy

    fey `tohr prhsheih be toh r``l. Fnto`ugo tohrh wfse`tobeg t` ah shhe, ohfrk, t`uiohk, slhnnhk `r tfsthk, oh

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    wfs stbnn ueshttnhk.

    Ofkrbfe e`rlfnny jhnt f abt lbjjhk wohe obs l`tohr

    p`pphk ohr ohfk r`uek toh k``r `e ohr wfy t` ahk.Woft hnhvhe-yhfr-`nk wfethk t` ah tuidhk be fek ofvh f

    dbss pnfethk `e obs j`rhohfk ay obs l`tohr0 O`w oh

    wbsohk soh w`unk p`p ohr ohfk be rbgot e`w! O`w oh

    w`unk whni`lh toh nbgot ahbeg `e fek f jrbhekny jfih

    ahekbeg `vhr obs ahk. Obs hyhs whrh ahgbeebeg t` fkfpt

    t` toh kfrd fek oh i`unk vfguhny lfdh `ut f snbgotnynhss khesh rhitfegnh `vhr `e toh `tohr sbkh `j toh r``l.

    [oh iurtfbes! I`unk oh ght sfjhny `vhr t` tohl wbto`ut

    wo`hvhr wfs be toh r``l ghttbeg obl0 Ofkrbfe to`ugot

    `j swbtiobeg `e toh ahksbkh nflp aut kbslbsshk toft bkhf

    rbgot fwfy. Nbgot w`unk lhfe toft oh i`unk ah shhe cust

    fs hfsbny ay fey betrukhr fs oh w`unk ah fanh t` shh bt.

    Wfs bt f aurgnfr0 Oh ofk t` k` s`lhtobeg! E`w! Be f

    spnbt shi`ek oh ofk r`nnhk `jj obs ahk `et` toh jn``r `e

    toh sbkh jurtohr fwfy jr`l toh wbek`w. Fs s``e fs oh

    lfkh i`etfit wbto toh jn``r, oh spue `vhr fek r`nnhk

    uekhrehfto obs ahk, hlhrgbeg ehfrhr t` toh iurtfbes.

    ]fusbeg `eny t` sirflanh bet` f sprbet stfrt ir`uiohk

    p`sbtb`e, oh nfueiohk oblshnj be toh kbrhitb`e `j tohwbek`w. Ofkrbfe infwhk ft toh ohfvy iurtfbes fek

    yfedhk tohl `phe be `eh swbjt l`vhlhet. L``enbgot

    jn``khk toh frhf jr`l wbek`w t` ahk fek bllhkbfth

    surr`ueks. [ohrh wfs e`-`eh be toft frhf. Oh phhrhk

    bet` toh jfrfwfy kfrdhst i`rehr `j obs r``l fek ir`fdhk

    uei`evbeibegny4 B shh y`u. B de`w y`urh tohrh!Wobnh sphfdbeg, oh nbjthk obs irbidht aft jr`l bts

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    nhfebeg p`sbtb`e ay toh wbek`w. Oh irhpt t`wfrks obs

    ahk, swbsobeg toh aft sn`wny fek wbkhny r`uek obs ohfk.

    Oh jnbidhk `e toh ahksbkh nflp. G``shjnhso sprhfk `vhrobs afid, frls fek nhgs fs oh stfrhk ft obs hlpty r``l.

    Oh fnl`st s`aahk wbto rhnbhj. G`k! Oh ofk ehvhr ahhe

    s` jrbgothehk be obs nbjh. Oh stbnn jhnt snbgotny efush`us

    fek uehfsy, hvhe to`ugo oh i`unk shh tohrh wfs e` `eh

    tohrh. Oh wfndhk t` obs wbek`w fek rhpnfihk toh aft. Oh

    survhyhk toh strhht siheh ahn`w. [ohrh wfs e`tobegueusufn k`we tohrh4 f i`upnh `j ifts whrh l``iobeg

    fa`ut fs f p`nytoheh afg sdbpphk up toh r`fk `e toh

    arhhzh. [oh pfvhlhets whrh afsdbeg be toh s`jt s`kbul

    gn`w `j toh strhht nbgots. [oh s`uek `j f tbrhk ifr, f jhw

    an`ids fwfy, nhet f s`jt purr t` toh phfihjun shttbeg

    ahn`w.

    Ofkrbfe fnn`whk oblshnj toh nuxury `j f ough

    strhtio fek yfwe fek wfs fa`ut t` rhture t` ahk wohe3

    WO@@YO! WOHHHH! SSSSSYWBSSSS, Woft toh

    ohnn wfs toft0! gfsphk Ofkrbfe. Obs iurtfbes abnn`whk

    up nbdh pfphr tbssuhs, jnfppbeg wbnkny fa`ut be f junny-

    strhtiohk o`rbz`etfn p`sbtb`e ft toh ihbnbeg. Obs wbek`ws

    rfttnhk nbdh tw` kbih be f iup. F arbhj iobnn iut tor`ugoOfkrbfe nbdh f kfgghr fek obs ahksbkh nbgot jnbidhrhk

    lfkny. [ohe, fs qubidny fs bt ofk ofpphehk, bt st`pphk.

    Ofkrbfe spue r`uek fek gfvh f yhnp `j jhfr fek

    kbsahnbhj. [ohrh, ay obs ahk, wfs s`lhtobeg toft ofk t`

    ah jr`l `uthr spfih. Oh gfwphk ft bt j`r junny tw`

    lbeuths, wobnh bt cust st``k tohrh bj st``k wfs tohrbgot w`rk fs bt ofk f spohrh toh sofph `j f sbzh 8

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    j``tafnn fs bts jhht. Ofkrbfe n``dhk bt `vhr jr`l t`p t`

    a`tt`l fek ofk toh kbstbeit blprhssb`e bt wfs k`beg toh

    sflh t` obl. Bts `eh hyh wfs `e f s`rt `j lbebfturhhnhpofet trued hlhrgbeg jr`l toh lbkknh `j woft lust

    ofvh ahhe bts jfih. Wobnh Ofkrbfe ifst obs gfzh `vhr toh

    irhfturh, bts hyh wfs twbstbeg fek turebeg be hvhry

    kbrhitb`e, fas`rabeg obl. Woft `e hfrto wfs bt0 O`w

    kbk bt ght bet` obs r``l wbto`ut arhfdbeg toh wbek`w `r

    lfdbeg f o`nh be toh wfnn0 Obs ahkr``l k``r wfs stbnnsout fek ofk e` sbge `j fey kflfgh. [obs wfs vhry,

    vhry, strfegh. Ytbnn tobs tobeg stfyhk wohrh bt wfs,

    lfdbeg e` e`bsh wofts`hvhr. Ofkrbfe wfs ofvbeg fe

    bethrefn struggnh ahtwhhe jhfr fek betrbguh. [oh n`eghr

    toh tw` ahbegs n``dhk wfrbny ft hfio `tohr, toh l`rh toh

    jhfr kblbebsohk besbkh Ofkrbfe. Bt rhfiohk toh p`bet

    wohe oh to`ugot oh wfs jhhnbeg l`rh iurb`sbty tofe

    jhfr, phrofps ahifush tobs irhfturh wfs e`t vhry tfnn. Bt

    wfs `eny up t` obs so`unkhrs. Obs ohfrt wfs stbnn

    aulpbeg, o`whvhr, fs tohrh wfs stbnns`lhjhfr. Woft fe

    `kk ohfk bt ofk. Bt rhlbekhk Ofkrbfe `j fe fppnh wohe

    s`lh`eh ofk ebaanhk fnn toh wfy r`uek bt, nhfvbeg toh

    t`p fek a`tt`l uet`uiohk aut toh lbkknh abtthe be rbgott` toh shhk i`lpfrtlhets. [oh ioflhnh`e-typh hyh wfs

    sp``dy fek tohrh wfs cust f lhso grbnnh wohrh f oulfe

    l`uto w`unk ah. Bts hetbrh sdbe wfs nbdh hnhpofet obkh

    wbto tw` kbfg`efn jnfps fir`ss bts n`whr iohst. Fs j`r

    frls, whnn tw` grhw jr`l bts rbgot so`unkhr fek `eh

    jr`l bts nhjt. [obs nftthr `eh wfs nbdh f n`eg sdbeeyoulfe frl fek hekhk be f pfkknh, rftohr tofe f ofek.

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    [oh pfkknh ofk f grbnnh `e bt nbdh toh `eh `e bts jfih.

    Ofkrbfe wfs t` jbek `ut nfthr toft tobs spfih a`y jr`l

    Cupbthr ofk t` i`vhr toh l`uto wbto toh pfkknh be `rkhrt` i`lluebifth. [oh `uthr rbgot frl wfs tobid, fa`ut

    7=ils n`eg fek ofk p`whrjun-n``dbeg pbeihrs ft toh

    hek. [oh beehr frl wfs luio tobeehr fek hekhk be j`ur

    pr`egs, toh `uthr tw` ahbeg iurvhk fek toh beehrs

    so`rthr, strfbgot fek sofrp. [oh frl shhlhk t` ah

    l`vbeg be fek `ut fs Ofkrbfe hxflbehk bt, fs bj bt i`unkhxthek i`esbkhrfany. Ofvbeg e` nhgs, toh t`rs` tfphrhk

    `et` toh spohrh wobio r`tfthk be slfnn ibrinhs

    i`etbeu`usny wobnh toh irhfturh rhlfbehk be toh `eh

    p`sbtb`e. Bt wfs nbdh wftiobeg f l`e` iyinbst jr`l Lfrs.

    Wo-woft frh y`u0 Ofkrbfe vheturhk.

    [oh irhfturh inflphk bts lhso pfw `vhr bts jfibfn

    grbnnh. Y`ueks nbdh rfpbk lfiobeh-gue jbrh iflh jr`l

    toh irhfturhs lhso l`uto. Wobnh tobs ofrso s`uek wfs

    rfttnbeg jr`l bt, toh l`esthr ushk toh tobe frl jr`l bts

    rbgot sbkh t` rullfgh be `eh `j toh jnfps be bts t`rs`.

    Ofvbeg tfdhe f slfnn nulbe`us kbsi jr`l toh jnfp, toh

    irhfturhs frl hxthekhk sn`wny t`wfrks Ofkrbfes jfih

    wbto toh kbsi, wobnh i`etbeubeg t` pr`kuih toh lfiobeh-gue e`bsh. Ofkrbfe kbket de`w wohtohr t` l`vh, `r

    so`ut `r obt toh frl fwfy. Be toh hek oh kbk e`tobeg.

    [oh frl sn`wny fppr`fiohk obs j`rhohfk wbto toh kbsi.

    Wfs oh fa`ut t` ah put uekhr f sphnn0 Wfs oh ahbeg

    ifpturhk ay fnbhes0 W`unk oh ture bet` `eh `j toh spfih

    bevfkhrs0 Wfs tobs tobeg g`beg t` suid `ut obs arfbes0Oh khibkhk e`t t` wfbt t` jbek `ut fek t` rue `ut `j obs

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    r``l fek jhtio obs pfrhets. Obs a`ky kbk e`t rhsp`ek.

    Oh trbhk t` ifnn j`r ohnp fs toh kbsi fnl`st t`uiohk obl.

    E` s`uek hsifphk fek toh kbsi prhsshk i``n fgfbest obstrhlanbeg ar`w. [oh frl rhtrfithk luio l`rh qubidny

    tofe bt ofk fppr`fiohk obl. Oh i`unk jhhn s`lhtobeg

    i`nk `e obs j`rhohfk fek rhfiohk up t` hxpn`rh bt wbto

    obs rbgot ofek. Obs ofek i`unket n`ifth feytobeg, aut oh

    i`unk jhhn toft s`lhtobeg ofk ofpphehk t` obs j`rhohfk.

    Woft ofk tobs tobeg k`eh t` obl0 Ft tobs p`bet ohahiflh rhfnny jrbgothehk j`r obs juturh. Oh wfs fa`ut t`

    pfebi.

    [oh rfpbk inbidbeg s`ueks hlfefthk jr`l toh spfih

    irhfturh `eih fgfbe. [obs tblh o`whvhr, fnto`ugo

    Ofkrbfe i`unk inhfrny ohfr toh rfpbk inbids i`lbeg jr`l

    toh grbnnh i`vhrhk ay toh pfkknh, besbkh obs ohfk oh

    ohfrk4 Ay kfah bz Grhh`rr.

    Ofkrbfe tbegnhk be hvhry ehrvh. [obs tobeg `e obs

    ohfk lhfet oh i`unk ohfr bts sphhio. Wfs bt trybeg t` thnn

    obl bts eflh0 Ay keflh bzz Grhh`r, bt rhphfthk.

    Ly eflh bs Ofkrbfe, oh lfefghk f o`frsh

    wobsphr fek wfbthk t` shh bj oh ofk ahhe i`rrhit. Kbk

    y`u sfy y`ur eflh wfs Grb`r0K` e`kk ah fvrfbk, Ohkruee. B w`nn k` y`u e`

    ofnl.

    Bt wfs nbdh nbsthebeg t` f j`rhbge phrs`e trybeg t`

    sphfd Hegnbso wohe tohy whrh cust nhfrebeg bt. Ofkrbfe

    khsphrfthny wfethk t` ahnbhvh toft oh w`unk e`t ah

    ofnlhkWo` frh y`u, Grb`r0 Wohrh frh y`u jr`l0

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    B gul vr`l C``abkbr, Ohkrue. B fl f a`y nbgh y`u,

    hggshpk fl `enb ebeh hfrkto yhfrzz `nk.

    Cupbthr!0 gfsphk Ofkrbfe, Qhfnny0 Cupbthr0W`w! @o. Bl hnhvheyhfrs `nk.

    [ohrh wfs f so`rt sbnheih wobnh toh tw` a`ys jr`l

    kbjjhrhet pfrts `j toh s`nfr systhl sblpny n``dhk ft hfio

    `tohr up fek k`we. Ofkrbfe ar`dh toh sbnheih3 Woft

    ofvh y`u put be ly ohfk, Grb`r0

    Bk bz `enb fe bekhrpnfehkfry g`lluebgftb`eezgrflanhr, Ofbkrfe. Bk wbnn e`k ofrl y`u. Bk iofeghs

    ly nfegufc k` y`urz wohe B fgkbvfkh fek y`urz k`

    lbeh whe y`u fgkbvfkh.

    Wh ifnn bt sphfdbeg rftohr tofe fitbvftbeg aut B

    tobed bts toh sflh tobeg.

    [obz bz toh zflh tobeg. [oh zgrflanhrz frh e`k

    yhkt ahrvhik aukt toh l`rh wh zphfd, toh inhfrhr bk wbnn

    ahg`lh, uekbn bk wbnn z``e ph ahrjhik. [obs wfs

    ahy`ek irhkunbty. @e toh jfih `j bt, Ofkrbfe wfs

    stfekbeg be obs ahkr``l be toh lbkknh `j toh ebgot,

    i`lluebiftbeg wbto f a`y jr`l Cupbthr. Oh ofk t` ah

    krhflbeg, surhny.

    Ofkrbfe sthpphk f nbttnh gbeghrny t`wfrks a`to obsahk fek Grb`r. Fs oh kbk, Grb`r r`nnhk sn`wny t` toh sbkh

    s` toft oh wfs e`t an`idbeg Ofkrbfes pfto. Jhfr wfs

    kbsfpphfrbeg jfst fek iurb`sbty fek w`ekhr whrh stfrtbeg

    t` k`lbefth Ofkrbfes to`ugots.

    Ybttbeg `e obs ahk fek trybeg t` lfbetfbe hyh

    i`etfit wbto `eh hyh `e f r`tftbeg lbeb-trued, Ofkrbfefsdhk toh behvbtfanh quhstb`e-

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    Woy frh y`u ohrh `e pnfeht Hfrto, Grb`r0

    E` s``ehr ofk toh w`rks nhjt obs nbps tofe oh

    e`tbihk Grb`r fitbeg `kkny. [oh spfih a`y swueg t` fekjr` fek obs hyh kfrthk fa`ut fnn `vhr toh pnfih, n``dbeg

    ft feytobeg `tohr tofe Ofkrbfe. Bt wfs fnl`st fs bj Grb`r

    wfs hlafrrfsshk. Ofkrbfe jhnt fe `kk rfspbeg s`uek be

    obs ohfk ahobek toh nfegufgh sirflanhr. Bt wfs toh

    s`uek `j f ahh auzzbeg, lbxhk wbto toft `j f sfw ahbeg

    ushk `e w``k. Grb`rs lhso ofek wfs i`vhrbeg obs jfihgrbnnh. Yhhbeg Grb`rs `avb`us kbsi`lj`rt fek ohfrbeg

    toft strfegh s`uek afjjnhk Ofkrbfe j`r f lbeuth `r s`,

    tohe bt iflh t` obl sukkheny. Grb`r wfs k`beg toh

    Cupbthr hqubvfnhet `j irybeg!

    Bl z`rry, Ofkrfe, azzz azzz. B wbzo B azz azzzz B

    wfz e`kk `e hfrto! Azzz, azzz azzz. B fl n`sk! B nhvt

    Cupbkhr ay fggzbkhet azz azzzz fek nfekhk `e y`ur

    l``e. Azzz B ofk t` nhfvh tohrh vhry gwbidny fek

    azzzzzz nfekhk ohrh. Bt t``d Ofkrbfe f l`lhet t`

    fas`ra fnn `j tobs bej`rlftb`e, hsphibfnny wohe toh juzzy

    nfegufgh wfs lbxhk wbto toh auzzbeg s`ueks.

    K`et ght upsht, Grb`r. B ife so`w y`u wohrh

    Cupbthr bs be fe ftnfs fek Bl surh ly kfk i`unk w`rd`ut o`w t` ght y`u afid tohrh. Frh y`u ohrh fnn `e y`ur

    `we0

    Grb`rs irybeg jbt shhlhk t` ah faftbeg, fnto`ugo

    e`t st`ppbeg fnt`ghtohr. @o, yhzz. Bl azzz fn`eh fek

    ifek tobed azz o`w t` ght afid o`lh azzz. R`ur vftohr

    ifee`k ohna lh, Ofkrbe.]hrofps e`taut y`urh e`t fn`eh e`w, Grb`r. Bk

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    nbdh t` ah y`ur jrbhek fek bj B ife ohnp be fey wfy, B

    ihrtfbeny wbnn.

    B faarhibfth y`ur dbekehzz, Ofkrbfe, auk ahj`rhy`u `jjhr ohna y`u rhfnny ofvh t` de`w ly zt`ry. R`u

    zhh, B kbk s`lhtobeg v``nbso fek nhjk Cupbkkhr. Fs bv

    toftz e`kk he`uv, tobegz cusk g`kt w`rzh fek w`rzh!

    Yukkheny, toh upphr jnfp be Grb`rs t`rs` stfrthk

    lfdbeg e`bshs wobio bllhkbfthny ifugot Ofkrbfes

    ftthetb`e.Ahhhhhhhp pbp pbp ahhhhhhhp pbp pbp

    ahhhhhhhp..

    Wofts toft0

    Ly hehrcy nhvhnz frh ghttbeg n`w. B lust

    rhghehrfkh.

    O`w k` y`u k` toft0

    @e Cupbkthr B fas`ra lbehrfnz jr`l `ur r`idz fek

    jnubk vr`l krhec`.

    Krhec`0

    R`u k` e`t ofvh bk `e hfrto, Ofkrfe. B k`et de`w

    wofk Bnn k` wbto`ut bkt.

    Woft bs bt nbdh0

    Bk bs nbdh flbxkurh `v y`ur vhghtfanhs, vrubt, trhhnhfvhs fek ausohs, B suaa`sh. Bvh e` bkhf, rhfnny. Sft bz

    fs ehfr fs B gfe tobegd.

    Whvh g`t jrubt fek vhghtfanhs k`westfbrs fek

    s`lh slfnn r`ids fek phaanhs be toh gfrkhe wh i`unk

    try! sugghsthk Ofkrbfe.

    B k`et de`w. Bv B k`et tfdh s`lhtobeg toh anhhpwbnn ght n`ukhr fek qubidhr uetbn bt sukkheny st`ps khfk.

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    [ohe, B cust st`p fnt`ghtohr uetbn s`lh`eh hnsh

    rhfitbvfths ly systhl.

    [ohe bts w`rto f g`, Grb`r! sfbk Ofkrbfe,a`uekbeg `ut `j ahk fek st`ppbeg ft toh ahkr``l k``r

    wbto obs ofek `e toh ofeknh. Wfbt ohrh, Bnn jhtio s`lh

    jrubt fek vhghtfanhs jr`l toh dbtiohe.

    Ofkrbfe kbk f jfst irhhp k`we toh stfbrs wbto toh

    sthfnto `j f ouethr. Oh dhpt t` toh wfnn fek pfushk

    arbhjny ft toh a`tt`l t` nbsthe j`r fey s`ueks `j pfrhets.Oh `phehk toh jrbkgh k``r. Nbjtbeg f pnfstbi ifrrbhr jr`l

    toh rhiyinbeg aueknh, oh p`pphk be tw` ifrr`ts, fek,

    wbto luio khnbgot, sbx Arusshns spr`uts jr`l f nfrgh

    afg. [oft w`unk sfvh obl ofvbeg t` sujjhr tohl! Oh

    in`shk toh jrbkgh fek t``d torhh p`tft`hs, fe `eb`e fek

    fe fghbeg nhhd jr`l toh vhghtfanh rfid. ]fssbeg toh jrubt

    a`wn oh nbjthk tw` fppnhs, f afefef fek f slfnn `rfegh.

    [oft w`unk k` j`r stfrthrs. Oh t``d toh sthps tw` ft f

    tblh uetbn oh rhfiohk obs ahkr``l. Grb`r ofk r`nnhk `vhr

    t` toh wbek`w. Ofkrbfe ofekhk obl toh aungbeg ifrrbhr

    afg. B o`ph y`u nbdh woft..

    Aut Grb`r wfset tfdbeg tblh t` i`esbkhr wohtohr oh

    nbdhk toh i`ethets `r e`t fs oh seftiohk toh afg wbto obsohfvy frl.

    [ofegd y`u, tofegd y`u, oh sfbk pusobeg a`to

    fppnhs, f p`tft` fek f ifrr`t bet` obs upphr jnfp. [ohrh

    wfs toh s`uek `j f j``k anhekhr wbto obiiups,

    pueitufthk wbto fe `iifsb`efn grbek fek squhnio. [oh

    uephhnhk afefef, spr`uts, shi`ek ifrr`t fek fe`tohrp`tft` j`nn`whk t` toh sflh s`ueks `j toh st`lfio

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    `riohstrf. Grb`r jbefnbshk toh l`lhet ay pusobeg be toh

    `rfegh, nhhd, nfst p`tft`, `eb`e fek tohe toh ifrrbhr

    afg!Ofkrbfe `phehk obs l`uto t` wfre obl fa`ut toh

    ifrrbhr, aut toh anhekhr gr`uek fek squhniohk fek

    obiiupphk fwfy uetbn hvhrytobeg wfs g`eh, beinukbeg

    toh afg. [oh wo`nh pr`ihss st`pphk wbto f obss nbdh toh

    oykrfunbi arfdhs `e fe frtbiunfthk n`rry.

    Wfs toft fnn rbgot0Bt shhls t` ofvh w`rdhk qubkh f abt, aut B wbnn

    ofvh t` trfeslhtfa`nbsh lyshnj t` `eh `j y`ur hfrto

    ifvhs `r ahfiohs t` try fek tfdh be r`id lbehrfns. B wbnn

    ehhk t` k` tobz s``e, Ofkrbfe.

    Ofkrbfe e`tbihk toft toh nfegufgh wfs ghttbeg

    inhfrhr fek inhfrhr. Grb`r lust ofvh ahhe tobedbeg toh

    sflh4 @ur fitbvftb`e bs fnl`st phrjhit, e`w Ofkrbfe.

    B wfs cust tobedbeg toft. Woftbj B sehfdhk bet` toh

    gfrkhe fek ar`ugot y`u up s`lh phaanhs fek st`ehs0

    Whvh s`lh slfnn r`ids t``!

    R`u frh bekhhk f jrbhek, Ofkrbfe aut B w`unk ah

    ahtthr t` g` e`w. B pr`lbsh t` rhture t`l`rr`w ebgot t`

    thnn y`u ly junn st`ryWoft k`hs trfeslhtfa`nbsh lhfe, Grb`r0

    B wbnn vfp`rbsh be `rkhr t` trfvhn wbto`ut ofvbeg t`

    irfso tor`ugo wfnns fek `astfinhs. B wbnn so`w y`u, ly

    jrbhek, sfbk Grb`r. G``k ebgot uetbn B rhture t`l`rr`w

    ebgot.

    Fs Ofkrbfe rhnuitfetny rhturehk toh g``kebgotwbso, Grb`r stfrthk t` spbe. Yn`wny ft jbrst, oh

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    fiihnhrfthk wbtobe torhh shi`eks bet` f afrhny vbsbanh

    an`a `j f trfespfrhet inbeg-jbnly jbgurh. [oh iurtfbes

    pujjhk up be f luio ghetnhr wfy tofe wohe Grb`r ofkfrrbvhk fek toh wbek`ws sobvhrhk snbgotny. Oh wfs g`eh.

    Ofkrbfe sft trfesjbxhk j`r f jhw l`lhets tohe

    ir`sshk t` toh wbek`w. E`tobeg stbrrhk ahn`w. Oh

    ir`sshk t` toh lfbe nbgot swbtio fek jnbidhk bt `e. Oh nht

    obs gfzh wfekhr r`uek toh r``l n``dbeg j`r fey sbge

    toft Grb`r ofk ahhe. [ohrh wfs e`eh. Oh ifugot oblshnjbe toh lbrr`r fek n``dhk ft obs j`rhohfk. [ohrh wfs

    e`tobeg vbsbanh, yht oh i`unk inhfrny jhhn toh prhsheih `j

    toh bethrpnfehtfry i`lluebiftb`e sirflanhr. Ywbtiobeg

    `jj toh nbgot, oh inblahk afid bet` ahk, obs arfbe rfibeg

    wbto toh ebgots hvhets, obs fkrhefnbe be t`p ghfr.

    Qhfiobeg up, obs toula prhsshk toh ahksbkh nflps

    autt`e fek fnn rhvhrthk t` pbtio anfidehss.

    K`et de`w woy Bl a`tohrbeg t` nbh k`we... Bnn

    ehvhr lfefgh t` ght fey snhhp e`w.