Sonal Srivastava: There is a lot of anger these days, against ‘urban naxals’ and ‘cow smugglers;’ how best can this anger be reported in the media? ■ Shantum Seth: It’s dif- ficult to close the door once the horse has run out; we have to look for causes in cases such as the Nirbhaya case and the Unnao case. If you start looking deeply, you find sim- ilar problems and sense of iso- lation. We have to work on ed- ucation and think long-term; there is inherent goodness in human beings. In education, we should also teach how to train the mind, to understand dependent origination. It means your suffering is my suffering and your happiness is my happiness. If I look at myself, I am half my father and half my mother, but if we look at a wider perspective, maybe I am the food that I ate today, the culture of India. I may have read a book pub- lished in Brazil, so all differ- ent cultures and civilisations make me who I am today. If you take even one of them out, then I am not the same per- son. We have to shift our ped- agogical approach; it should be age-appropriate. ■ Shantum Seth is a teacher, social worker A musicologist says to her sociologist friend, “We’re not that different, you and I.” “How so?” the sociologist asks sceptically. “We both study cymbalic interaction.” The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapour state. Q: Why can’t you trust an atom? A: It makes up everything. ht t p:// www .spe akingtr ee .in Swami Sukhabodhananda L ife is full of surpris- es. Each surprise is a gift from the unknown. We can’t experi- ence a surprise as a gift if our minds are filled with preconceived notions of what we should receive and what we should not, for then, the wonderful experience of surprise is lost. The soul of enlight- ened living is not to be indifferent to the message of life, but to flow with life. Is it not a miracle when the sun rises, the birds start chirping, when the seed be- comes a tree and from the tree seeds are born? In the finite seed, infinite possi- bility is hidden. Those who don’t take life for granted will retain that childlike in- nocence; they participate in the movement of life with grace and joy. Success and failure become points of celebration rather than points of frustration. When you are success- ful, you want to be more suc- cessful and so you tend to lose your ability to rejoice in success. Greed makes you look at the other as a com- petitor, a threat. Instead of learning from failure you wallow in self-pity. When you celebrate your success, don’t fill that moment with greed, fill it with joy. Include planning for the future. Planning is part of greed but is also part of wise living. ■ CELEBRATE SUCCESS & FAILURE OUR INHERENT GOODNESS ALIKE FULL GLASS CAN’T TRUST SACRED SPACE Be Thankful Every living entity, especially human beings, must feel grateful for the benedictions offered by the grace of the Supreme. Srimad Bhagavatam ✥ Gratitude opens the door to the power, wisdom, and creativity of the universe. You open doors through gratitude. Deepak Chopra ✥ Gratitude is the sweetest thing in a seeker’s life. If there is gratitude in your heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness in your eyes. Sri Chinmoy ✥ When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. Sam Lefkowitz LEADERSHIP 02 “Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature.” GÉRARD DE NERVAL, FRENCH WRITER AND POET B ullied students often lose confi- dence in themselves and start to think of themselves as stupid, a failure, or unattractive. Students who observe bullying may feel anxious (per- haps they will be targeted next?) or guilty (for not intervening to stop bul- lying). Over time, students who observe frequent bullying may feel less and less empathy for the student who is being bullied... Here are a few other FAQs on bullying in school. What is bullying? In order to address the issue of bullying, it is important to clearly understand how bullying is de- fined. A commonly used definition de- veloped by Dr Olweus is — a per- son is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative ac- tions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has diffi- culty defending himself or herself. Expressed in more everyday language one might say: Bullying is when someone repeat- edly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself. What are the different forms or kinds of bullying? It is possible to divide the different types of bullying into direct and indirect forms. In direct forms, bul- lying involves relatively open attacks, usually in a face-to-face confrontation. Typical examples of direct bullying in- clude verbal bullying with derogatory comments and nasty names, and physical bullying with hit- ting, kicking, shoving, and spitting. In indirect bullying, the aggressive acts are more concealed and subtle, and it may be more difficult for the bullied student to know who is responsi- ble for the bullying. Typ- ical examples include so- cial isolation—that is, inten- tionally excluding someone from a group or activity—and spreading lies and nasty rumours. Why do some students bully? Research suggests there are several partly in- terrelated motives for bullying: 1. Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance; they seem to enjoy being “in control” and subduing others. 2. Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury. This may be at least partly due to the environment at home, which may have caused hostility with- in the student. 3. Students who bully others may have some family charac- teristics, such as parents who are not involved in their children’s lives, who lack warmth and positive involvement. What causes bullying? Research suggests that personality characteristics and a student’s ten- dency toward aggressive behaviours, combined with physical strength or weakness (in the case of boys) are im- portant risk factors for bullying in in- dividual students. QUERY? These queries were asked by students from Bal Bharti Public School, Noida. Have a query? Reach out to us at toinie [email protected] or www.toistudent.com FAQs on BULLYING IN SCHOOL LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM FROZEN In the film, we finally see female characters who are strong, complex and vulnerable. The characters are candid enough to question each other’s choices and stand up for what’s right. What can ‘Frozen’ teach us about leadership? Take responsibility for your mistakes. Princess Anna admits that she’s made mistakes and is re- sponsible for fixing them. She’s onto something here! Don’t pass blame onto anyone else to solve your problems. Whatever is causing the is- sue, act as if it’s your re- sponsibility to fix it. Strive to bring out the best in people. People make bad choices if they’re mad or scared or stressed, but throw a little love their way, and you’ll bring out their best. Leadership is about encouraging people to grow. When you work with problem- atic people, find compas- sion for them. Your loved ones will offer well-meaning but misguided advice to stay small. Often the people who love us most cau- tion us against taking risks. Every leader can tell you stories of family and friends who advised them not to take action. Our loved ones mean so well. They want to protect you against the dangers they perceive in the world… But it can take a lifetime to overcome this advice and grow into your greatest strengths. Focus on what you want, even if it seems impossible. The “how” will follow. Maybe you have a big dream that oth- er people are bound to laugh at (like the snowman who longs for summer). Don’t let the impossibility stop you. Don’t get caught up in the how. Dream your dream, take little steps toward it every day, and you will be blown away by how the universe moves to give you opportunities. When you hit a snag, network with people who can help solve your problems. As a leader, you will always encounter obstacles. This is when we make the most of our lifetime spent building re- lationships. In a pinch, your network can help you navigate challenges as they arise. For example, you might need to build a relationship (say, with the sister of the Snow Queen) in order to resolve your supply and demand problem. Just saying. When you have a burning goal, no mountain is too high. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. If you are clear about what you want, and you are taking steps every day to get closer to your goal, no obstacle can hold you back. Leadership is about posture. Sometimes, the best way to become a leader is to simply assume the posture of someone with authority. Think of a doctor who pushes through a crowd in a medical emergency. Or Prince Hans, who takes over rule of Arendelle in Anna’s stead. Nobody asked these guys for their qualifications. They simply stepped up and started leading. You can do it too. When you level up, life will take you outside your comfort zone. During Elsa’s (the protagonist) coro- nation ceremony, her hands shake as she removes her gloves. Sure, she’s hid- ing powers she’s afraid of. But aren’t we all? When it’s time to step into a leadership role, it can be frightening to acknowledge the power you hold. Once you acknowledge your power, you’re accountable to it. Rely on the people who support you, keep your goals front of mind, and you’ll get through it with grace. Emotional resilience is everything. If you want to rise into leadership, you have to stop caring what others think. Ignore the haters. Be yourself and don’t give a rip what anyone else thinks. You can’t rise as a leader until you’ve done the person- al work. This means facing your fears. Step back, get some perspective, and make sense of your personal chal- lenges. Forgive the past. Straighten your posture L eadership is exercised in different contexts in life. Whether it is handling a school project or managing a national crisis, leadership skills are important. Most of the life skills that you have learnt so far are essential for becoming a leader. Taking ini- tiative, thinking creatively, having integrity, communi- cating effectively, showing em- pathy, making decisions, re- solving conflicts, keeping promises and having a posi- tive attitude are the hallmarks of good leadership. School projects provide you with op- portunities to practice leader- ship skills. For example, you form teams, make decisions and motivate each other to do well. As you communi- cate with your teammates, you develop interpersonal relationships. All these ex- periences will be benefi- cial if you get leadership po- sitions in the future. If you like to be a leader, remember that you cannot work alone. A good leader works along with the team to achieve goals. When you re- spect your team members they will co-operate with you to make things hap- pen. WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE A LEADER? HAVE A VISION: Leaders have a clear idea of what they want to achieve. They share their vision with their team members and inspire them to realise it. POSSESS INTEGRITY: People trust leaders who lead an honest life and stand up for the truth. SHOW HUMILITY: True leaders are humble. They have self-confidence and self-belief. They can recognise the talents in others and do not feel insecure promoting them in their careers. GIVE RESPECT: Leaders have a ‘we’ mentality. They provide direction and guidance to team members to get the desired results. HAVE EMPATHY: Leaders do not misuse their power to bully people or harm them. They are compassionate and understanding of oth- ers’ needs. TOP TALK TRAITS OF A TRUE LEADER There is no problem in being part of the crowd. But if you want to be different, then additional skills is going to set you apart. If you want to lead someday, you will have to learn to be a leader. Simple. Alia Bhatt, actor It is inbuilt in us that we need to stay ahead of the herd. The survival of the fittest... It is ingrained in us that we have to lead in order to succeed and I don’t see anything bad in that school of thought. Kunal Kamra, stand-up comedian I don’t think it’s necessary to train to be a leader. If you are happy in whatever role has been assigned to you; I think you are good. Why does everyone have to be a part of a rat race? Bhuvan Bam,Youtube star There is no harm in trying to be a leader within your means. As long as you are not step- ping into anyone’s shoes; you should keep at it. The problem happens when you take your desire too seriously. Vaibhavi Merchant, choreographer My parents taught me to be a good person; as a leader or as a team member. It is essential that specific leadership traits should happen organically and not be forced upon anyone. The choice is yours! Imtiaz Ali, director Story board Great leaders get onto the field and lead by example. This story shows you how! A ccording to a popular story, many years ago, a rider on horse- back came across a small group of exhausted sol- diers. The soldiers were trying to move a heavy log of timber. An officer stood beside them and ordered around rudely — “Come on, move the log..” The log was too heavy for the sol- diers to lift. The stranger turned to the officer and said, “Why don’t you step forward and lend a hand?” “I’m the senior. I only give orders sir. You can help them if you feel strongly about it.” Much to his surprise, the rid- er dismounted and joined the soldiers. “Now, everybody to- gether boys. Heave!” he said. They managed to heave the bulky piece of timber into its place. The stranger mounted his horse and addressed the senior.“The next time you have a piece of timber for your men to heave, officer, send for your commander- in-chief.” The rider was none other than George Washing- ton, the first President of the USA. What you learn: When leaders demonstrate such in- tegrity, courage and empathy, can success be far behind? We have to shift our pedagogical approach; it should be age-appropriate Direct bullying include verbal bullying with derogatory comments and nasty names, and physical bullying with hitting, kicking, shoving and spitting. In indirect bullying, the aggressive acts are more con- cealed and subtle COUNSELLOR