Grade 5 Writing Sample

The Pennsylvania Systemof School Assessment

2005 – 2006Writing Item and Scoring Sampler

Grade 5

Pennsylvania Department of Education Bureau of Assessment and Accountability 2005–2006

Page �Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction ....................................................................................................... 4

Embedded-Error Passages and General Information ........................................ 5

Sample Passage 1 with Multiple-Choice Items ................................................. 6

Sample Passage 2 with Multiple‑Choice Items ................................................. 8

Sample Passage 3 with Multiple‑Choice Items ................................................. 10

Writing Prompts: General Information .............................................................. 13

Narrative Scoring Guideline .............................................................................. 14

Prompt 1 ............................................................................................................ 15

Prompt 1 Student Responses ............................................................................. 16

Informational Scoring Guideline ....................................................................... 22

Prompt 2 ............................................................................................................ 23


Persuasive Scoring Guideline ............................................................................ 30

Prompt 3 ............................................................................................................ 31


Conventions Scoring Guideline .......................................................................... 38

Conventions Student Responses ......................................................................... 39


Writing Item and Scoring Sampler

General IntroductionThe Department of Education provides districts and schools with tools to assist in delivering focused instructional programs aligned to the state assessment system. These tools include academic standards documents, specifics of the assessment, and content‑based item and scoring samplers. This 2005–2006 Writing Item and Scoring Sampler is a useful tool for Pennsylvania educators in the preparation of local instructional programs and the statewide PSSA assessments.

What’s IncludedThis item and scoring sampler contains multiple‑choice items (based on embedded‑error passages) and writing prompts that were used in the February 2005 PSSA Writing Assessment [Field Test]. These items and prompts are representative of the types of items and prompts that will appear on the operational 2006 PSSA Writing Assessment. Each item has been through a rigorous review process and is aligned to the state standards.

Purpose and UsesThe items and writing prompts in this sampler may be used as examples for creating assessment items at the classroom level, and they may also be copied and used as part of a local instructional program.* Classroom teachers may find it beneficial to have students respond to the prompts in the sampler. Educators can then use the sampler as a guide to score the responses either independently or together with colleagues within a school or a district.

Item Format and Scoring GuidelinesEach multiple‑choice item has four answer choices and is connected to an embedded‑error passage. A correct response to each multiple‑choice item is worth one point.

The writing prompts are designed to take about sixty minutes to complete; although during an actual testing event, students are given additional time as necessary to complete their responses. The writing prompts are scored with both a 1–4 scale mode‑specific scoring guideline and with a 1–4 scale conventions scoring guideline. The mode‑specific scoring guidelines presented within this sampler were used to score each respective prompt. Actual (transcribed) student responses are used as samples to represent each score point.

* The permission to copy and/or use these materials does not extend to commercial purposes.

Page 5Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006

EMBEDDED-ERROR MULTIPLE-CHOICE ITEMS: GENERAL INFORMATION

The purpose of the passages and multiple‑choice items is to assess students’ abilities to revise and edit written text. Each correct response is worth one point.

These multiple‑choice items reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Quality of Writing–1.5.5.E and 1.5.5.F.

1.5.5.E Revise writing to improve organization and word choice; check the logic, order of ideas, and precision of vocabulary.

1.5.5.F Edit writing using the conventions of language.

• Spell common, frequently used words correctly.

• Use capital letters correctly.

• Punctuate correctly (periods, exclamation points, question marks, commas, quotation marks, apostrophes).

• Use nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, and interjections properly.

• Use complete sentences (simple, compound, declarative, interrogative, exclamatory, and imperative).

SAMPLE PASSAGES AND ITEMS

There are three embedded‑error passages in this sampler. Each is followed by a set of four multiple‑choice items. Each item is preceded by a standards notation and followed by an annotation that provides additional explanation or clarification.

A correct answer is indicated by an asterisk.


WRITING

Sample Passage 1

Read the passage below and then answer questions 1–4.

1When the school year was over, we moved into a house in a new town. 2I was going to my first day of camp this Summer. 3I was a little worried since I wasn’t going to know anyone there. 4Would I meet a new friend? 5In the morning, I went downstairs for a quick breakfast. 6Then I headed out. 7As I walked the two blocks to the school where the camp was I thought about the friends I had left behind in Delaware. 8I walked into the building, found the right room, and took a seat in the back. 9A kid asked, “Is this seat taken?” 10We started to talk, and I found out that he had just moved hear too. 11We were going to be in the same class at Washington Elementary! 12My worries about camp and school were instantly gone.

1.5.5.F

1. Whichwordshouldnotbecapitalized?

A. Summerinsentence2*B. Delawareinsentence7C. Washingtoninsentence11D. Elementaryinsentence11

The answer options reflect a common capitalization error: proper versus common nouns. Options B and D, the name of a state and the name of a person, are always capitalized. In Option D, the word elementary is sometimes capitalized and sometimes not, so students must recognize its specific use here as part of a particular school name. Option A is the correct answer because the word summer is used as a common noun; it is merely naming a season of the year.

1.5.5.E

2. Whichwordisusedincorrectlyandshouldbechanged?

A. changenewtoknewinsentence1B. changetheretotheirinsentence3C. changewheretowereinsentence7D. changeheartohereinsentence10*

Although the word choices for each answer option sound the same, they differ in meaning. These are words whose usage is often confused, so students must consider their appropriate use in each sentence. The words in Options A, B, and C are used correctly within the context of the identified sentences. Option D is the correct answer because the context in this particular sentence calls for “here,” not “hear.”


WRITING

1.5.5.F

3. Whichshowsthecorrectcommaplacementforsentence7?

A. AsIwalked,thetwoblockstotheschoolwherethecampwasIthoughtaboutthefriendsIhadleftbehindinDelaware.

B. AsIwalkedthetwoblockstotheschool,wherethecampwasIthoughtaboutthefriendsIhadleftbehindinDelaware.

C. AsIwalkedthetwoblockstotheschoolwherethecampwas,IthoughtaboutthefriendsIhadleftbehindinDelaware.*

D. AsIwalkedthetwoblockstotheschoolwherethecampwasIthoughtaboutthefriendsIhadleftbehind,inDelaware.

Students are provided with four options for comma placement in this sentence. A basic comma rule is to use a comma after a long introductory element, which is the case here. Option A places the comma after the first short clause, but this is incorrect as it separates the clause from what is needed to complete the thought (not just As I walked, but As I walked the two blocks to the school where the camp was). Option B places the comma too soon for the same reason (not just to the school, but to the school where the camp was). Option D fails to set off the introductory clause and places a comma where none is needed. Option C is the correct answer as the comma sets off the long introductory element and leads into the main focus of the sentence.

1.5.5.E

4. Whichsentencewouldbeagoodconclusionforthepassage?

A. Myfriendfrommyhometownwillbecomingtovisit.B. Inowhadanewfriendatmynewschool.*C. Iwasgoingtodesignmyownairplaneatcamp.D. Thenewschoolhadmanymorestudentsthanmyoldone.

Answer Options A, C, and D offer new, but isolated, details. Option A does not retain the emphasis on making a new friend. Option C returns to the topic of the camp itself, which is not the focus of the passage. Option D provides a detail about the new school’s student population that has little relevance to the passage. Only Option B sums up the passage and restates its main idea for the reader, as a good conclusion should.


WRITING

Sample Passage 2


1.5.5.F

5. Choosethecorrectpunctuationfortheendofsentence1.

A. Canyouimaginelivinginatimewhenthelandwascoveredwithiceandsnow.B. Canyouimaginelivinginatimewhenthelandwascoveredwithiceandsnow!C. Canyouimaginelivinginatimewhenthelandwascoveredwithiceandsnow?*D. Canyouimaginelivinginatimewhenthelandwascoveredwithiceandsnow,

Students must decide what type of sentence this is in order to apply the correct end punctuation. Options A and B present the sentence as declarative, with one more emphatic than the other. Option D implies the sentence is incomplete. Only Option C identifies the sentence as a question and uses the correct end punctuation.

1.5.5.E

6. WhichwordbestfillstheblankinSentence3?

A. because*B. althoughC. thatD. which

Students must use logic to select the appropriate conjunction to show the proper relationship between the two parts of the sentence. The blank in the sentence aids in this process by allowing students to insert each option and try it out. Options C and D are relative pronouns and should be used only in reference to another word or phrase (the book that I left on the table); Option B suggests a contrast or contradiction between the two halves of the sentence that does not exist. Option A is the best answer since the second half of the sentence explains the first by telling why the temperature was very cold.

1Can you imagine living in a time when the land was covered with ice and snow 2Many millions of years ago, this is what it was like on Earth. 3The temperature was very cold then ________ the ice kept the sun from warming anything up. 4Scientists have a theory. 5They think this happened because there was a change in how our planet circled the sun. 6Called the Ice Age. 7Not many large animals could live in these conditions. 8One well-known animal that did live during the Ice Age was the woolly mammoth. 9A mammoth is a little like a modern-day elephant. 10It had a long trunk, tusks, and a thick woolly coat of fur to protect it from the cold. 11Its disappearance from the animal kingdom is not one that can be blamed on human beings. 12It would be fun to go to the zoo and see a woolly mammoth today. 13The woolly mammoth died out because of a changing environment.


WRITING

1.5.5.F

7. Whichsentenceisincomplete?

A. sentence4B. sentence6*C. sentence9D. sentence13

Students must recognize the elements that comprise a complete sentence (subject, verb, complete thought) in order to arrive at the correct answer. Students must read sentence 6 in isolation rather than as a continuation of sentence 5 to recognize that it is missing a subject and is therefore incomplete.

1.5.5.E

8. Whichsentenceshouldberemovedfromthepassagebecauseitisnotrelevanttothetopic?

A. sentence5B. sentence8C. sentence11D. sentence12*

Students should recognize that the main ideas in this passage are the Ice Age and the woolly mammoth. Option A maintains focus by continuing a thought from the previous sentence about scientists and a theory. Option B introduces the woolly mammoth, so it cannot be off‑topic. Option C continues discussion of the woolly mammoth. The switch in sentence 12 (Option D) to a personal, informal voice (“It would be fun”), along with the immediate switch back to the more objective voice in sentence 13, cues students that this is the sentence that strays off topic.


WRITING

Sample Passage 3


1.5.5.F

9. Whichwordisspelledincorrectly?

A. insectinsentence1B. designedinsentence4C. heighthinsentence11*D. buildinginsentence14

The words chosen as options are grade‑appropriate spelling words. Answer Options A, B, and D show correct spellings of words that are commonly misspelled. The correct answer is Option C.

1.5.5.E

10. Whichbestrevisessentence1withoutchangingthesentence’smeaning?

A. Thesmallheadofapinisabouthowbigafleais.B. Afleaisaboutthesizeofapinandisaninsect.C. Aninsectcalledafleaisverysmall.D. Afleaisasmallinsectaboutthesizeoftheheadofapin.*

Sentence 1 in the passage uses poor sentence structure and should be revised for clarity (the flea should appear first in the sentence because the sentence is about him, not about the head of a pin). Answer Option A retains this reverse order and does not effectively revise. Option B is clumsy because two related facts are presented as separate and distinct phrases. Option C omits the size comparison, thereby losing information stated in the original. Option D is the best revision because it introduces the flea as the subject of the sentence, places the flea in the customary subject place, defines it, and uses a comparison to add detail.

1About the size of a pin is a small insect called a flea. 2It can look like a speck of dirt. 3A flea has a flattened body, so it can move easily through the hairs of an animal. 4Its body also has a hard outer shell that is designed for high-speed jumping. 5This prevents the flea from crushing itself upon landing. 6Do you know an amazing fact about fleas? 7A flea can jump up to 130 times it’s own length. 8If you think about it, that means fleas can jump up to seven inches into the air! 9Perhaps you’re thinking that doesn’t sound like much. 10Let’s put it in human terms. 11What if you could jump 130 times your own heighth? 12Say you’re five feet tall. 13If you could jump like a flea, you would be able to jump 650 feet into the air. 14That’s about as high as a 60-story building!


WRITING

1.5.5.F

11. Whichwordshouldnothaveanapostrophe?

A. it’sinsentence7*B. you’reinsentence9C. Let’sinsentence10D. That’sinsentence14

All answer options read as contractions; that is, students could read each as two words: it is, you are, Let us, That is. (Reading them as such would lead to the correct answer because it is does not fit in the context of sentence 7.) Only Option A is not a contraction in this passage. It is a pronoun in its possessive form (the flea “owns” its own length), and possessive pronouns should not have apostrophes.

1.5.5.E

12. Wherewouldthissentencebestfitinthepassage?

Fleasdon’thavewings,buttheycanrunveryquicklyfromplacetoplace.

A. aftersentence1B. aftersentence3*C. aftersentence4D. aftersentence6

Answer Options A and C are incorrect because placing the sentence where these options suggest would interrupt the flow between sentences 1 and 2 (Option A) and sentences 4 and 5 (Option C). Option D would place the new sentence directly after the question that leads to the second part of the passage, which focuses on one amazing aspect of the flea. Option B, after sentence 3, is the best fit because sentence 3 talks about the flea’s body shape and how this facilitates its movements. Additional information about its body and movements would naturally follow this sentence.


WRITING

Page 1�Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006

WRITING

WRITING PROMPTS: GENERAL INFORMATION

The greater part of the writing assessment consists of students’ written response to writing prompts. Fifth graders will write to two of three modes: narrative, informational, or persuasive.

The writing prompts reflect Pennsylvania Academic Standards–Types of Writing–1.4.5.A, 1.4.5.B, and 1.4.5.C.

1.4.5.A Write poems, plays, and multi‑paragraph stories.

1.4.5.B Write multi‑paragraph informational pieces (e.g., essays, descriptions, letters, reports, instructions).

1.4.5.C Write persuasive pieces with a clearly stated position or opinion and supporting detail, citing sources when needed.

SAMPLE WRITING PROMPTS AND STUDENT RESPONSES

There are three writing prompts (one at each mode) in this sampler. Written responses are scored on a 1‑ to 4‑ point scale, and student samples at each scoring level have been provided. These examples of student writing have also been annotated.

Each paper is scored twice, once for composition and once for conventions. Mode‑specific scoring guidelines precede each group of student papers. The conventions scoring guideline precedes the papers that exemplify conventions scores.


WRITING

Focus Sharp, distinct controlling point or theme with evident awareness of the narrative.

content Development

Strong story line with illustrative details that addresses a complex idea or examines a complex experience. Thoroughly elaborated narrative sequence that employs narrative elements as appropriate.

organization Skillful narrative pattern with clear and consistent sequencing of events, employing a beginning, a middle, and an end. Minor interruptions to the sequence may occur.

style Precise control of language, literary devices, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective point of view and tone.

Focus Clear controlling point or theme with general awareness of the narrative.

content Development

Story line with details that addresses an idea or examines an experience. Sufficiently elaborated narrative sequence that employs narrative elements as appropriate.

organization Narrative pattern with generally consistent sequencing of events, employing a beginning, a middle, and an end. Interruptions to the sequence may occur.

style Appropriate control of language, literary devices, and sentence structures that creates a consistent point of view and tone.

Focus

Vague evidence of a controlling point or theme with inconsistent awareness of the narrative.

content Development

Inconsistent story line that inadequately addresses an idea or examines an experience. Insufficiently elaborated narrative sequence that may employ narrative elements.

organization Narrative pattern with generally inconsistent sequencing of events that may employ a beginning, a middle, and an end. Interruptions to the sequence may interfere with meaning.

styleLimited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with point of view and tone.

Focus

Little or no evidence of a controlling point or theme with minimal awareness of the narrative.

content Development

Insufficient story line that minimally addresses an idea or examines an experience. Unelaborated narrative that may employ narrative elements.

organizationNarrative pattern with little or no sequencing of events. Interruptions to the sequence interfere with meaning.

styleMinimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent point of view and tone.

PSSA NArrAtive ScoriNg guideliNe


WRITING

Narrative WritiNg PromPt

Youwillhaveupto60minutestoplan,write,andproofreadyourresponsetothiswritingprompt:

Plan

Beforeyouwrite:

Readthepromptcarefullysoyouunderstandexactlywhatyouarebeingaskedtodo.Considertopic,task,andaudience.Thinkaboutwhatyouwanttowrite.Usescratchpapertoorganizeyourthoughts.Usestrategieslikemappingoroutlining.

Write

Asyouwrite:

Maintainaclearandconsistentpositionorclaim.Clearlytellastorythatincludesdescriptivedetails.Includedialogue,ifappropriate.Useavarietyofwell-constructed,completesentences.Usealogicalorganizationwithanobviousbeginning,middle,andend.

Proofread

Afteryouwrite:

Didyousupportyourideaswithspecificdetails?Dothepointofviewandtoneofthestoryremainconsistent?Checkforcapitalization,spelling,sentencestructure,punctuation,andusageerrors.

Goontothenextpagetobeginwritingyourresponse. GO ON

Narrative WritiNg PromPt


Thinkaboutatimewhenyouweregiventheopportunitytocareforsomething.Writeastorythattellswhatyouhadtodoandhowitmadeyoufeel.


Ifyouneedadditionalspace,pleasecontinueonthenextpage. GO ON

COPYRIGHT PA DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION. DO NOT DUPLICATE.

WRITING

NARRATIVEWRITINGPROMPTFINALCOPY


WRITING

Composition Score 4

This writer establishes a distinct controlling theme and story line by concentrating on the events leading up to the acquisition of a new pet [a time when the writer was given the opportunity to care for a rabbit]. Awareness of narrative mode is demonstrated through the use of dialogue and descriptive details. There is a strong, sequential story line [“Then, on a day that was going exceptionally well” and “Over a time period of about three days”]. Setting is embedded in efficient phrases [“while I was playing hopscotch”] and helps to create a tone for the scenes that follow. Other details, such as “had fish for the past 12 years” and the rabbit having a “chewing problem,” provide humor to assist the strong narration.

The writer demonstrates precise control of language and cleverly weaves descriptors into the essay: “noble qualities,” “non-stuffed, loving rabbit,” “mournful day,” and “my mom said plainly.” Similes [“my words ran together like paint in water”] strengthen the writer’s style.

This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the narrative mode.





WRITING


WRITING

Composition Score 3

This writer maintains a clear controlling theme [caring for “a kitten named Stella”] and demonstrates a general awareness of the narrative mode. The essay is not organized in a strict chronological pattern but rather examines experiences involved in caring for Stella over time. It employs a beginning period [“Once a couple of years ago”], a middle period [“I had many responsibilities”], and an ending period [“I had alot of fun”], making a final reference to the desire to have another cat in the future.

Details are often elaborated. For example, instead of simply stating “The cat slept in my mom’s bed,” the writer adds “because it was the biggest and warmest.” The personal detail of fighting with his/her brother over where the cat slept helps to maintain the narrative tone.

This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the narrative mode.




WRITING


Composition Score 2

This composition is written from a personal point of view, but an inconsistent sequencing of events is evidenced by the shift in tense from simple past [“One time I had to”] to present [“And she likes to ”]. There is not a clear conclusion to the story. The composition reverts to a list of things the writer does with his/her cousin—“I fed her,” “likes to play video games with me,” and “help her learn ABC’s”—none of which are developed enough to give the reader more than a vague impression of the speaker, the cousin, or the events being described. The abundant use of “I” and “she” interferes with the development of a successful narrative tone.

This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the narrative mode.




WRITING


Composition Score 1

There is little evidence that the writer responded to the intended prompt. The brief story line visits the experience of selecting a dog or a cat and being disappointed by the results. The writer shows minimal awareness of the narrative task. There are no details, reasons, or examples to expand the experience.

This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the narrative mode.


WRITING

FocusSharp, distinct controlling point made about a single topic with evident awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of the purpose. Thorough elaboration with effectively presented information consistently supported with well-chosen details.

organization Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which develop a controlling idea.

style Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective tone.

FocusClear controlling point made about a single topic with general awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Adequate, specific, and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the purpose. Sufficient elaboration with clearly presented information supported with well-chosen details.

organization Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which develop a controlling idea.

styleAppropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent tone.

Focus Vague evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with an inconsistent awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose. Underdeveloped and/or repetitive elaboration with inconsistently supported information. May be an extended list.

organization Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which ineffectively develop a controlling idea.

style Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.

Focus Little or no evidence of a controlling point made about a single topic with a minimal

awareness of task and audience.content

Development

Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose. Superficial, undeveloped writing with little or no support. May be a bare list.

organization Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, which inadequately develop a controlling idea.

style Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent tone.

PSSA iNformAtioNAl ScoriNg guideliNe


WRITING

iNformatioNal WritiNg PromPt


Plan

Beforeyouwrite:


Write

Asyouwrite:

Maintainaclearandconsistentpositionorclaim.Includespecificdetails;useexamplesandreasonstosupportyourideas.Useavarietyofwell-constructed,completesentences.Usealogicalorganizationwithanobviousintroduction,body,andconclusion.

Proofread

Afteryouwrite:

Didyousupportyourideaswithspecificdetails?Dothepointofviewandtoneoftheessayremainconsistent?Checkforcapitalization,spelling,sentencestructure,punctuation,andusageerrors.


Thinkofsomeonewhohasmadeadifferenceinyourlife.Writeanessaythatexplainshowthispersonhasaffectedyourlife.




WRITING

INFORMATIONALWRITINGPROMPTFINALCOPY


WRITING

Composition Score 4

This essay has a sharp and distinct controlling point about how life has changed in the writer’s household since the arrival of a little sister. The writer shows awareness of task [“Ever since my sister . . . came around” and “there has been a lot more laughing also”]. The information throughout the essay is effectively presented with well-chosen details—“She screams as loud as she possibly can when she sees me,” “help by getting the mail,” and “I even empty the dishwasher”—and smooth transitions at each new paragraph [“It has also been” and “Now that Emma is around”]. Similes [“running around the house like an angry bull, running for a red blanket”] and humor [“whenever we want to go out to dinner we have to go to a kid friendly place. So almost every night we stay home”] are successfully implemented and show an attention to the audience.

This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the informational mode.




WRITING



AFTERYOUHAVECHECKEDYOURWORK,CLOSETHISWRITINGBOOKLETSOYOURTEACHERWILLKNOWYOUAREFINISHED.

WRITING

INFORMATIONALWRITINGPROMPT(continued)FINALCOPY

Compostition Score 3

This essay has a strong controlling point about the difference the writer’s mother has made in his/her life. The single topic is maintained with paragraphs devoted to examples of lessons the mother has taught about fighting, siblings, reading, and studying. The essay contains sufficient elaboration through specific details: “books with wonderful stories about life in the olden days,” “even straight A students study,” “her rules and advice will come in handy some day,” and “My children will learn all of this too.” The writer demonstrates an appropriate control of language.

This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the informational mode.




WRITING


Composition Score 2

This essay demonstrates only vague evidence of a controlling point. The content focuses on the writer’s premature birth rather than on the brother and how he made a difference in the writer’s life. The introduction of the brother is interrupted by a regression about being born early and being attached to a heart monitor, and then the essay somewhat abruptly concludes in the present day when the writer is happy to go outside and run with friends. The writer’s style is limited by repetitive sentence structures, often presented consecutively: the first two sentences begin with “My brother made a difference” and the last two both say “I am happy.”

This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the informational mode.




WRITING


Composition Score 1

This essay shows minimal awareness of task. The essay has minimal content; the reader knows the mom took the writer to buy new clothes and a bed, but no supporting details are provided to place this information in context. There is no evidence of organizational strategies or structures. No tone or style is created as only minimal language skills are used.

This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the informational mode.

Page �0Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006

WRITINGPSSA PerSuASive ScoriNg guideliNe

FocusSharp, distinct controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument with evident awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Substantial, relevant, and illustrative content that demonstrates a clear understanding of the purpose. Thoroughly elaborated argument that includes a clear position consistently supported with precise and relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies are evident.

organization Effective organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position supported with a purposeful presentation of content.

style Precise control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent and effective tone.

Focus Clear controlling point presented as a position and made convincing through a credible and substantiated argument with general awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Adequate, specific and/or illustrative content that demonstrates an understanding of the purpose. Sufficiently elaborated argument that includes a clear position supported with some relevant evidence. Rhetorical (persuasive) strategies may be evident.

organization Organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position supported with sufficient presentation of content.

styleAppropriate control of language, stylistic techniques, and sentence structures that creates a consistent tone.

Focus Vague evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that may lack a credible and/or substantiated argument with an inconsistent awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Inadequate, vague content that demonstrates a weak understanding of the purpose. Insufficiently elaborated argument that includes an underdeveloped position supported with little evidence.

organization Inconsistent organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with inadequate presentation of content.

style Limited control of language and sentence structures that creates interference with tone.

Focus Little or no evidence of a controlling point presented as a position that lacks a credible and/or substantiated argument with minimal awareness of task and audience.

content Development

Minimal evidence of content that demonstrates a lack of understanding of the purpose. Unelaborated argument that includes an undeveloped position supported with minimal or no evidence.

organization Little or no evidence of organizational strategies and structures, such as logical order and transitions, to develop a position with insufficient presentation of content.

style Minimal control of language and sentence structures that creates an inconsistent tone.


WRITING

Persuasive WritiNg PromPt


Plan

Beforeyouwrite:


Write

Asyouwrite:

Maintainaclearandconsistentpositionorclaim.Includespecificdetails;useexamplesandreasonstosupportyourideas.Useavarietyofwell-constructed,completesentences.Usealogicalorganizationwithanobviousintroduction,body,andconclusion.

Proofread

Afteryouwrite:

Didyousupportyourideaswithspecificdetails?Dothepointofviewandtoneoftheessayremainconsistent?Checkforcapitalization,spelling,sentencestructure,punctuation,andusageerrors.


Thinkaboutthefourseasons.Choosewhichseasonisyourfavorite.Writeanessaythatpersuadesyourclassmatestoagreewithyou.


PERSUASIVEWRITINGPROMPTFINALCOPY



WRITING


WRITING

AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR WORK, CLOSE THIS WRITING BOOKLET SO YOUR TEACHER WILL KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED.

PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued) FINAL COPY

Composition Score 4

This writer has developed a sharp and distinct controlling point [“winter”]. The choice is made convincing through a clear, thoughtful, and substantiated argument. The essay’s organizational structure is logical [“because it is the season when there are snow days, snow, and Christmas and New Year’s”], and the use of transitions at the beginning of each paragraph [“One of the reasons” and “But the best part”] allows the writer to develop a clear position with a purposeful presentation. The writer’s awareness of purpose, task, and audience is evident in his/her use of details: “building a fort,” “have a snowball fight,” and “my sister and I get alot of presents that day.” Personal experiences [“you get to climb up and ride down all over again”] add a persuasive element, as do sensory descriptions—“the whoosh of air when I go down a steep slope” and “steaming hot chocolate.” The writer maintains an effective conversational tone throughout the essay [“This game is sure to keep you on your toes” and “That has to be alot of fun”]. Persuasive strategies are also evident in the use of rhetorical questions [“Who couldn’t agree?” and “Don’t you too?”].

This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.

Page ��Grade 5 Writing Item Sampler 2005–2006




WRITING


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Composition Score 3

This writer presents a clear controlling point [“summer”] and remains on topic for the entire essay. Each paragraph concentrates on the strengths of the season, and each has its own transitional, introductory, and/or controlling sentence [“Let’s say you go to the beach” or “Now I have one more thing”]. Content is specific, and the details appeal to the reader’s senses [“stickness on your legs,” “smell the warm sea salty air,” and “sweet and tangy strawberrys”]. Combined, these demonstrate the writer’s appropriate control of language and the ability to create a consistent tone. The writer’s style, along with the strong examples of the scents, textures, and tastes of summer, helps to create a persuasive argument.

This essay exemplifies adequate control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.





Composition Score 2

This writer clearly states a position [“My favorite season is summer”] but only vaguely substantiates that position. The essay is merely a list of things that someone can do in the summer [“You can have a family picnic or cookout,” and “You can play with frends or family”]. There is no order or structure to the essay other than the introductory sentence. Most sentences could be reordered without changing the overall meaning of the passage. The repetitive sentence structure [“You can”] interferes with fluency and fails to demonstrate language control. There is no obvious conclusion.

This essay exemplifies limited control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.

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Composition Score 1

This writer states a favorite season [“summer”] but does not substantiate or elaborate on this position. There is minimal evidence of content or an understanding of how to create a persuasive essay. Sentences contain unrelated ideas [“Summer can make plant go (grow), and you can get tan”] and stand alone as isolated and undeveloped details.

The sentences and sentence fragment demonstrate minimal control of language and sentence structures.

This essay exemplifies little or no control of composition skills in the persuasive mode.

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PSSA coNveNtioNS ScoriNg guideliNe

Thorough control of sentence formation.

Few errors, if any, are present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, but the errors that are present do not interfere with meaning.

Adequate control of sentence formation.

Some errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, but few, if any, of the errors that are present may interfere with meaning.

Limited and/or inconsistent control of sentence formation. Some sentences may be awkward or fragmented

Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and some of those errors may interfere with meaning.

Minimal control of sentence formation. Many sentences are awkward and fragmented.

Many errors may be present in grammar, usage, spelling, and punctuation, and many of those errors may interfere with meaning.





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AFTER YOU HAVE CHECKED YOUR WORK, CLOSE THIS WRITING BOOKLET SO YOUR TEACHER WILL KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED.

Conventions Score 4

This essay demonstrates skill in all elements of conventions. A variety of sentence structures are used throughout the essay. The writer’s use of parenthetical expressions, questions, and introductory clauses offers diversity in the presentation of ideas. The essay contains fragments [“Nothing to worry about”], but they are used deliberately and for effect. This writer has full command of usage, grammar, spelling, and mechanics. Two mechanical errors—a missing question mark and a missed apostrophe—represent minor oversights in this essay.

This essay exemplifies strong and consistent control of all elements of conventions.

PERSUASIVE WRITING PROMPT (continued) FINAL COPY




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AFTERYOUHAVECHECKEDYOURWORK,CLOSETHISWRITINGBOOKLETSOYOURTEACHERWILLKNOWYOUAREFINISHED.

Conventions Score 3

This essay shows adequate control of conventions. The writer uses quotation marks effectively in dialogue and uses commas correctly in dialogue, items in a series, and introductory clauses. There are errors in spelling [“strait,” “wispered,” and “bead” for bed]; a consistent error is neglecting to double the final consonant on some verbs: hopped is written as “hoped,” jetted as “jeted,” and stopped as “stoped.” Grammar errors, such as “most beautifulest,” do not interfere with meaning.

Many things are skillfully done. Some errors appear to be from speed of writing and lack of proofreading rather than from a lack of ability.

This essay exemplifies adequate control of all elements of conventions.

NARRATIVEWRITINGPROMPT(continued)FINALCOPY

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Conventions Score 2

This essay’s eight sentences demonstrate limited control of conventions. Quotation marks are not used; commas do not separate introductory clauses and asides. Errors, such as writing “I want to something completely different” rather than “I want to do something completely different,” interrupt the flow of the essay. There are many spelling errors. While many of these do not interfere with meaning, there are errors in all elements of conventions.

This essay exemplifies limited control of all elements of conventions.


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Conventions Score 1

This essay represents a minimal control of conventions. A period is used at the end of the writing sample, but none are used within the text, which suggests a weak sense of sentence formation. There is no separation of periods and capital letters between any of the five thoughts presented. Errors such as “holde in tirey wrold” cause the reader to stop and translate the phrase to “whole entire world.”

This essay exemplifies little or no control of the elements of conventions.

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Copyright ©2005 by the Pennsylvania Department of Education. The materials contained in this publication may be duplicated by Pennsylvania educators for local classroom use. This permission does not extend to the duplication of materials for commericial use.

Grade 5 Writing Sample

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