Gn com-lect- 4 a& 4b

LECTURE- 4Principles of Composition-1

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COMPOSITION PART- 1

Some years ago, Sir Lawrence Bragg, then Cavendish Professor of Experimental Physics at Cambridge wrote as follows:

I will try to define what I believe to be lacking in our present courses for science undergraduates. They do not learn to write clearly and briefly, marshalling their points in due and aesthetically satisfying order, and eliminating inessentials. They are inept at those turns of phrase or happy analogy which throw a flying bridge across a chasm of misunderstanding and make contact between mind and mind. They do not know how to talk to people who have had a different training from them, and how to carry conviction when decisions on plans for action of vital importance to them are made … The gift of expression is important to them as scientists, the best research is wasted when it is extremely difficult to discover what it is all about … It is even more important when scientists are called upon to play their part in the world of affairs, as is happening to an increasing extent.

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LEARNING OBJECTIVES:

How to avoid wordiness and unnecessary details?

How to gain the right emphases in your sentences?

How to make your writing clear and focused? 

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ECONOMY

Vigorous writing is concise. Let each of your word tell. Many expressions in common violate this principle. Constructions that contribute to wordiness often appear in clusters. Two that frequently appear as a pair are: nominals and weak verbs.

Other contributors to wordiness include roundabout constructions, unnecessary phrases and clauses, redundancy, and awkward repetition.

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NOMINALS:

Nouns created by adding suffixes to verbs: e.g., establishment, completion, deliverance. Unnecessary nominals tend to make your writing ponderous and slow-moving.

If you want your sentences to be shorter and more vigorous, change unnecessary nominal suffixes such as –ment, -ance, -ity, -ize, -ness back into verbs.

Nominal: Strict enforcement of the speed limit by the police will cause a reduction in traffic fatalities.Revised: If the police strictly enforce the speed limit, traffic fatalities will be reduced.

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WEAK VERBS

Vague, weak verbs (make, give, and take) tend to combine with nominals and replace stronger, more energetic verbs.  Weak Verb: At the next meeting, the city council

will take the fire fighters’ request for a raise under consideration.

Revised: At the next meeting, the city council will consider the firefighters’ request for a raise.

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ROUNDABOUT CONSTRUCTIONS

Indirect and circuitous wording annoys readers. Strike out unnecessary words and make slight changes where necessary to gain directness.

Words: angle, aspect, factor, and situation, Phrases: in the case of, in the line of, in the field

of are almost never necessary and are common obstacles to directness.

Wordy: Another aspect of the situation that needs to be examined is the matter of advertising.

Revised: We should also examine advertising.

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CONTD…Expletives (there is, there are, it is, it was) are unnecessary and weaken the emphasis on a sentence’s true subject. Gain effectiveness by simply beginning with the true subject.In other instances, a one-word modifier may convey meaning more economically.  Wordy: There were fourteen people in attendance at the meeting. Revised: Fourteen people attended the meeting.

  Reduce wordy constructions such as because of the fact that, it was shown that, and with regard to to single words or eliminate them.

Wordy: Due to the fact that the plane was late, I missed my connecting flight to India.

Revised: Because the plane was late, I missed my connecting flight to India.

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UNNECESSARY PHRASES AND CLAUSES

Wordiness often results from using a clause when a phrase will do, or a phrase when a single word will do. Where appropriate, reduce clauses to participial or appositive phrases or Phrases to single-word or compound modifiers, verbals (a verb root plus –ing), or possessives with –‘s, or leave them out.

  Wordy: This shirt, which is made of wool, has worn well for

eight years. Revised: This woolen shirt has worn well for eight years. 

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REDUNDANCY

Redundant expressions such as I saw it with my own eyes and audible to our ears say the same thing twice. Other examples are Direct Redundant advance advance forward eliminate completely eliminate refer refer back Close Close proximity Cheaper cheaper in cost, less costly

Sometimes sentences become wordy through a writer’s careless repetition of the same meaning in slightly different words [Tautology].

Wordy: As a rule, I usually wake up early. Revised: I usually wake up early.

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CONTD… Wordy: The analysis was thoroughly and wholly

complete. Revised: The analysis was thorough.

Similarly, some expressions are simply redundant or roundabout ways of saying things that could be stated in a single, precise word. Direct Wordy today This day and age

indefinite Of an indefinite nature now, today At this point in time

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AWKWARD REPETITION

While repetition of important words can be a useful way of gaining emphasis and coherence in your writing, careless repetition is awkward and wordy. Awkward: Gas mileage of American cars is being

improved constantly in order to improve efficiency.

Revised: Gas mileage of American cars is being improved constantly to increase efficiency.

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INTENSIVES AND OTHER MODIFIERS

It is a wise idea to question critically all modifiers (adjectives and adverbs). The so-called “intensives” – very, much, etc., -- are especially likely to weaken a sentence.

Wordy: I certainly was very much pleased when they told me they were so much interested.

Revised: I was very pleased when they told me they were interested.

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EMPHASIS Effective sentences emphasize main ideas and keep related

details in the background. Careful use of coordination, parallelism, and subordination

enables you to stress your most important ideas without losing track of less important, related ideas and information.

Sentence variety enables you to emphasize important ideas by changing the flow and rhythm of a passage, thus calling attention to certain ideas by means of contrast to adjacent sentences.

You can also emphasize ideas within a single sentence by controlling the arrangement of its elements and by using repetition carefully.

While revising, keep in mind the following: Any sentence is part of a paragraph and of a larger whole. To determine what to emphasize, always look at the sentence in

relation to its context and in relation to your audience and overall purpose.

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WORD ORDERThe position of the words in a sentence is the principal means of showing their relationship. Bring together words and groups of words that are related in thought. Keep apart those that are not so related.

Word order is crucial to meaning in English.Word order helps to Keep subject-verb-object relations clear, Keep many modifiers attached to the words they modify.

Phrases and clauses that modify nouns require special care.They normally attach to the nearest noun preceding them. Unless writers are alert, sentences such as these can occur:

Confusing: He noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center.

Revised: He noticed a large stain right in the center of the rug.

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CONTD…

Place adverbs of degree or limitation (almost, even, hardly, just, only, nearly) immediately before the words they modify.In speech we commonly put only and similar adverbs before the verb, regardless of what we mean them to modify. To avoid any possible ambiguity in writing, place such modifiers immediately before the words they modify. Spoken: He only ran a mile. Written: He ran only a mile.  Spoken: She almost read the whole book. Written: She read almost the whole book.

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CONTD… Modifying phrases should refer clearly to the words they modify. Phrases used to modify nouns must ordinarily be placed immediately after the words they are intended to modify. The following examples show the confusion created by misplaced modifiers. Confusing: Joan borrowed a bicycle from a friend with saddlebags. [The writer intended the phrase with saddlebags to modify bicycle, not friend]. Place phrases used as adverbs either within the sentence close to

the words they modify or at the beginning or end of the sentence. In some sentences, however, their placement requires special thought. Confusing: A huge boulder fell as we rounded the corner with a crash. [with a crash seems to modify the verb rounded although the writer intended it to modify the earlier verb fell]Clear: A huge boulder fell with a crash as we rounded he corner. 

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CONTD… Modifying clauses should refer clearly to the words they modify. Confusing: The dog had a ribbon around his neck that was tied in a bow. [the ribbon, not his neck, was tied in a bow]Clear: Around his neck the dog had a ribbon that was tied in a bow.  Adverb clauses are introduced by words such as after, although,

because, since, and until. Like adverb phrases, place them either within the sentence close to the words they modify or at the beginning or end of the sentence.

 Confusing: The police towed the stolen station wagon to the city garage after it was abandoned. [The clause after it was abandoned is intended to modify the verb towed but seems to modify the noun garage]Clear: After the stolen station wagon was abandoned, the police towed it to the city garage. Clear: The police towed the stolen station wagon, after it was abandoned, to the city garage. 

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CONTD… Avoid squinting modifiers. It may modify either a preceding word or a following word. It squints at the words on its right and left, and leaves the reader confused. Squinting: His physician told him frequently to exercise.Clear: His physician frequently told him to exercise.Clear: His physician told him to exercise frequently.  Do not split infinitives awkwardly An infinitive is split when an adverbial modifier separates the to from the verb. There is nothing ungrammatical about splitting an infinitive, and sometimes a split is useful to avoid awkwardness. But most split infinitives are unnecessary. Awkward: You should try to, if you can, take a walk everyday.Clear: If you can, you should try to take a walk every day. Awkward: They promised to at once bring us the report.Clear: They promised to bring us the report at once. 

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CONTD…

Avoid separating a subject from its predicate, a verb from its object, or the parts of a verb phrase.

Intentional separations occasionally make a sentence more effective. Awkward Separation: She found, after an hour’s search, the money hidden under the rug.Clear: After an hour’s search, she found the money hidden under the rug.

Occasionally, writers separate related sentence elements to achieve a sense of suspense or drama by delaying the verb.

 Emphatic separation: The captain, seeing the ominous storm clouds gathering overhead, ordered the crew to take in the sail.

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PERIODIC AND LOOSE SENTENCES

Different sentence structures create different emphases.

The position of subordinate or modifying material has a definite impact on where the emphasis falls in a sentence.

There are four basic sentence structures for handling modifying material: the periodic, or left-branching sentence; the mid-branching sentence; the balanced sentence; the loose, or right-branching sentence.

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CONTD…

A periodic or left-branching sentence places a modifying clause at the beginning and holds the main idea until the end.It creates anticipation by providing background information first and then presenting the subject dramatically in the main clause at the end.

Example: When her mother was in the hospital for two months and her father was on the edge of a breakdown, Brenda showed great courage.

Because of built-in suspense, it is extremely effective. Risks You may lose your reader’s patience. The delivery of the subject in the final clause should have

a clarifying effect.

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CONTD…

A mid-branching sentence places modifying material between the subject and the verb.

Here, you are asking the reader to suspend normal thought. Subordinating information amounts to an interruption. To create drama and suspense, or to de-emphasize

information by sandwiching it between the more powerful parts of the sentence – the subject and the verb.

 Emphasized: Death Valley—without a doubt the hottest spot in the country—comes by its name honestly.De- Emphasized: Death Valley, the nation’s hot spot, comes by its name honestly.  Punctuation and word choice combine with sentence

structure to provide additional cues that reinforce the meaning the writer intended.

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A BALANCED SENTENCE A compound sentence in which the independent

clauses are exactly, or very nearly, parallel in all elements.

Example1: We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire.Example 2: Grammar maps out the possible; rhetoric narrows the possible down to the desirable and the effective.

The balanced sentence serves to state contrasts and distinctions. Because it holds two coordinate ideas, its structure naturally emphasizes meanings involving weighing or choice.

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A LOOSE OR RIGHT-BRANCHING SENTENCE

Sometimes called a cumulative sentence.This completes its main statement and then adds subordinate details. This structure follows the most common pattern of human thought.Identifies key informational elements (the subject and verb) first and then provides qualifying material.

 Example: Brenda showed great courage when her mother was in the hospital for two months and her father was on the edge of a breakdown.  It satisfies readers’ expectations about normal emphasis in

sentences. Does not lend itself to special emphasis.

If one is not careful, it can lead to rambling lists of details.  

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CONTD…

Consider the following example, the opening sentence from a newspaper article: A bid to set the altitude record for hot-air ballons

suffered a setback Saturday when one of the two British crewmen was hurt in a fall and a gust of wind tore the balloon at the Royal Air Force base in Watton, England.

Easy to read. Hardly any emphasis.

Had the writer been striving for dramatic effect, he might have used a periodic sentence like the following: Their balloon torn by the wind and one of the two

crewmen hurt in a fall at the Royal Air Force base in Watton, England, the British team suffered a setback on Saturday in their attempt to set the altitude record for hot-air balloons.

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ACTIVE OR PASSIVE VOICE?

Avoid the passive voice where the active is more natural and direct.Using the passive is not a grammatical or a stylistic fault; it is the overuse of it that is a fault. The passive voice is properly used when The object or receiver of the action of the verb is more

important than the doer; The doer of the action is not known; The writer wishes to place the emphasis on the receiver

instead of on the doer.  Example1: Several priceless old manuscripts were

destroyed. Example 2: The wounded prisoner was dragged into the

trench.

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CONTD…

Notice the difference in the following when the active voice replaces the passive.  Weak: Other games are also played by the

guests. Better: The guests also play other games.  Weak: Many agonizing minutes are spent by the

student in deciding on a subject for a speech. Better: The student spends many agonizing

minutes deciding upon a subject for a speech.

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SUBORDINATION

Subordination shows connections between unequal but related information; the central idea appears in the main clause, and less important ideas appear in subordinate constructions.

Writing is essentially a process of addition. Subordination allows you to build details, qualifications, and other lesser information into sentences, while keeping the main statement of the sentence clear and sharply focused.

Subordinating conjunctions, particularly, enable you to express exact relationships among ideas.

Verbal phrases, prepositional phrases, appositives, and various types of single-word modifiers are also forms of subordination.

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CONTD… Example:

Immature: The average recruit has just won his freedom from his parents. He objects violently to the whole idea of discipline.

Revised: The average recruit, who has so recently won his freedom from parental authority, violently objects to the whole idea of discipline.

The substance of a co-ordinate clause may often be better expressed in a participial phrase. And this participial phrase can usually be placed at more than one point in a sentence.

Example: Writing is a slow process. It requires considerable thought and time.

Revised: Writing is a slow process which requires considerable thought and time. [Relative Clause]

Revised: Writing is a slow process, requiring considerable thought and time.

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CONTD… A similar effect may be produced with gerund or

infinitive phrases.Awkward: Their working hours were shortened. This resulted in more spare time for recreation and enjoyment.Improved: Shortening their hours of work resulted in more time available for recreation and enjoyment.

A prepositional phrase may be used to express a detail more accurately and more concisely than a clause or a sentence. 

Immature: We wrote our papers at separate tables. There was a proctor in front of us. Another one stood behind us.Revised: We wrote our papers at separate tables, with one procter in front of us and another behind us.

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CONTD… A minor detail worth only a single word instead of a whole

sentence or a clause is better expressed in a single word. Wordy: The house was old. The lawn around it was enclosed by yew hedges. These hedges were neatly clipped.Revised: The lawn around the old house was shut in by neatly clipped yew hedges.

An appositive may be used to express a detail that is not important enough to stand in a clause.

Clumsy: I was born in Middleville, Ohio. It’s a real small town. Most of the people in it are farmers. They raise cows for milk and a lot of apples. Still, it’s the county seat of Whiteside County.Revised: I was born in Middleville, Ohio, a small dairy and apple-farming community and the seat of Whiteside County.

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CLARITY

Ambiguity: An ambiguous sentence logically can have two

meanings. The problem arises in trying to determine the

meaning intended by the writer.

Example: Mr. Flack told his brother that he must pay the bill.  This sentence is ambiguous because it does not

make clear who must pay the bill. The ambiguity arises with the use of the second “he.”

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JARGON

Jargon consists of long words, elaborate expressions, or technical words understood only by the member of a special trade or profession.

Instead of “No,” the writer of jargon says, The answer is in the negative.

Government pamphlets and letters and reports of economists and engineers are often guilty of jargon.

Clumsy: The hard core of the United States farm problem is the surplus of human effort committed to farming.Revised: There are too many farmers. 

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CONTD…

Jargon Clear Writing   Pursue his tasks with great diligence work hard Unfavourable weather conditions bad weather Enter into the state of matrimony get married  Business people are often guilty of jargon. They should

avoid expressions such as along the line of, with regard to, attached hereto, in connection with, enclosed herewith, please find.

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FINE WRITING

“Fine writing” is not, as the phrase seems to indicate, good writing.

It is flowery, artificial, overblown writing. The writer loads his style with too many adjectives and

adverbs, with big words, awkward repetitions of high-sounding phrases, and trite figures of speech.

It is often the result of an over-complicated sentence structure.

Its effect is a voice that sounds pompous and stuffy.

Overblown: After liquidating his indebtedness, he was still in possession of sufficient funds to establish a small commercial enterprise.

Precise: After paying his debts, he still had enough money to set up a small business.

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ARTIFICIALITY

Always express an idea in simple, direct language. Complicated, pretentious, artificial language is not a sign of

superior intelligence or writing skill. If alternative forms of the same word exist, prefer the

shorter. Choose truth and virtue over truthfulness and virtuousness. Choose preventive rather than preventative. Wordiness is frequently also pretentious language; diction

becomes more elaborate, showy, and self-conscious than the subject requires.

Vague, abstract terms and euphemisms are other characteristics of pretentious language.

 Simple: We decided against it.Vague: We have assumed a negative posture on the matter.

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CONTD…

Government documents, military reports, scholarly articles, and business executives’ defenses of a poor product or unprofitable year are all guilty of vagueness. 

Pretentious diction is all too frequently a means disguising the truth rather than revealing it.

Examples   Revenue enhancement for raising taxes  Protective reaction strike bombing raid  The Peacekeeper MX missile The next candidate for staff reduction you are fired

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CONTD… We resent this language because this we associate with

bureaucratic smokescreens. Artificial diction of this type has come to be called

businessese, bureaucratese, gobbledygook, and bafflegab.

George Orwell termed such doubletalk “Newspeak”—a language designed to supplant truth with vagueness.

Euphemisms are words or phrases that express unpleasant things in less harsh, less direct ways. So, we say  Perspire for sweat Elderly for old Intoxicated for drunk But using euphemisms to distract readers needlessly from the realities of work, unemployment, poverty, or war is at best misleading and at worst dishonest and dangerous.

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CONTD…

Language consciously intended to Deceive  Peace-keeping force military troops Strategic redeployment retreat Visual surveillance spying Inoperative statements lies The inner city slums and ghettos

Keep your own writing honest and direct. Be alert to dishonesty and pretentiousness in the writing

of others. Use euphemism if tact and genuine respect for the

feelings of your audience warrant it, but resist temptations to slide into artificial diction that veils, rather than conveys, meaning. 

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MIXED METAPHORS

A metaphor, very simply, is a device for talking about one thing as if it were something else. “Oh, my love is like a red, red rose,” says the poet, “ that’s newly sprung in June.”

Metaphors are an essential technique for adding freshness to language.

When you use metaphors, do not mix them up. That is, don’t start by calling something a swordfish and end by calling it an hourglass. In the following examples, the metaphors are mixed and this

leads to creation of clashing images. The reader will not only miss your point, but will find your writing ludicrous.

Example 1: It seems you have to be on the rocks before you will turn over a new leaf.Example 2: Grandmother’s tiny fingers appeared to stitch the material with the speed of a pneumatic drill.