Giving your Child the World by Dr. Hamden

Facilitator

Dr. Raymond H. Hamden Clinical and Forensic Psychologist

… association between two or more people

at any aspect of Human Existence Home, Recreation, Business, Spiritual

BELONGING

intimacy & friendship

Vulnerability

TRUST & RESPECT

COMMITMENT (responsibility & loyalty)

Values Attitude

Traditions Customs

Morals Ethics

Communication can be perceived as a two-way process

in which there is an exchange and progression of thoughts, feelings, behavior, or ideas

towards a mutually accepted goal or direction.

Sender – encode – Message – decode – Receiver

Behavior Intent Interpretation

Feel Think

• Anger • Aggression • Depression

Hurt

• Resentment • Violence Guilt

Study Dunlap and colleagues (2006) found that

young children who have challenging behaviors are likely to have problems with mental health, academic achievement, as well as socialization in adolescence and adulthood.

Significance The importance of parenting and child rearing

Solution The development of… social emotional competence

�  Also referred to as “character education” �  A set of acquired skills that can be developed

beginning from childhood and promote a deeper bond

à  Practice active or empathetic listening techniques with your child.

à Help your child overcome feelings of despair and stress through meditation

à  Read stories and then discuss the ethical ideas with one another

Mild 5 Moderate 7 – 10

Severe 18+

Mutual Cooperation

“What was the last bad thing to happen to you?”

Other or none

Interpersonal conflict or problem

Health problem (self or other)

Economic, work or legal problem

Death of significant

other

20%

30%

23%

14%

14%

Source: Veroff, Douvan & Kulka (1981) survey of ~2,200 Americans

7%

36%

57%

“What was the best thing that happened today?”

Interaction with friends

or family

Health and body-

related

Work or school-related

Source: Gable & Reis (2010), Advances in Experimental Social Psychology

♦ Denmark is the happiest country in the world, and the primary factor contributing to its happiness is the nature of Danes’ social connections (Diener, 2008).

How to teach your children to be: Ø Independent Ø Flexible Ø Adaptable Ø Responsible Ø Respectful

Teaching children how to be independent is helping them become more Emotionally Intelligent

For instance

v  Coping with an immediate situation

v  Solving problems of an interpersonal nature

v  Being sufficiently positive

v  Understanding our own strengths and weaknesses

Ø  Response Inhibition The ability to resist saying or doing something

impulsively without letting a certain amount of time elapse

Ø  Emotional Control The ability to manage emotions, in order

to attain goals

Ø  Sustained Attention The ability to attend to tasks in spite

of distractions

Ø  Task Initiation The ability to begin a task without ` `

procrastinating

Ø  Flexibility The ability to adapt in changing conditions

Ø  Goal directed persistence The drive to follow through the completion of a goal

�  Foster a positive attitude à Be optimistic (EI) à This decreases the tension in times of hardship �  Change negative attitudes at an early age à Let your child openly discuss their feelings (SEL) �  Teach your child self-care à For instance, by eating properly and exercising �  Have a daily routine à This creates organization à It becomes an easy system to follow

Building resilience (the ability to thrive regardless of the challenges)

Autonomy, self-esteem, and

future time orientation

Adaptability

Precursors to…

q  We are not born with the ability

to be responsible. q  Responsibility is acquired over time

with practice. q  Teaching your child to be responsible at

an early age serves as a catalyst to make your child more competent and resilient in the future.

�  Let them understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way

à Let your child express negative emotions because this can turn inward and harm your child. This may even lead to the development of clinical depression or anxiety

à Watch out for the use of negative connotations in your child’s expressions, such as “I’ll never make any friends” or “I cannot do it because I’m not good enough”

�  Allocate time for your child to help others à Volunteering, assisting other in the areas

that your child excels à This gives them a productive sense

q  Be a good role model One way children learn is by

imitating parents

q  Praise good behavior When your child uses respectful language, such as “thank you”,

“please”, “welcome”; Intangible rewards –

recognition and privileges

q  Correct inappropriate behavior Do not ignore misbehavior Be sturdy, firm, and direct

q  Listen to your tone instead of your words

q  Children sense what their parents are feeling q  Sometimes they’re not listening to your words

so much as looking at your face and reacting to the tone of your voice

q  Purpose of study To teach children about fairness and to decrease their engagement in gender-prejudice behaviors

q  Sample Boys and girls aged 10-13 years old in Western USA

q  Results The students in the experimental group that completed the awareness program reported experiencing less gender-prejudice behavior by their classmates.

These students also learned to challenge gender role stereotypes.

Awareness

Increases understanding and accepting differences

RESPECT !

How to teach your children to be: Ø Independent Ø Flexible Ø Adaptable Ø Responsible Ø Respectful

Brinkman, B. G., Jedinak, A., Rosen, L. A., Zimmerman, T. S. (2010). Teaching children fairness: decreasing gender prejudice. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 11 (1), 61–81. DOI: 10.1111/j.1530-2415.2010.01222.x

Calzada, E. J., Fernandez, Y., & Cortes, D. E. (2010). Incorporating the cultural value of respeto into a framework of Latino parenting. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology, 16 (1), 77–86. DOI: 10.1037/a0016071

Dawson, P., & Guare, R. (2010). Executive skills in children and adolescents: a practical guide to assessment and intervention, 2nd ed, pp 1-12, New York: The Guilford Press.

Fox, L., & Hemmeter, M. L. (2009). A programwide model for supporting social emotional development and addressing challenging behavior in early childhood settings. Handbook of Positive Behavior Support: Issues in Clinical Psychology, 2, 177–202. DOI: 10.1007/978-0-387-09632-2_8

Hartung, P. J., Porfeli, E. J., Vondracek, F. W. (2008). Career adaptability in childhood.National Career Development Association, 57 (1). Retrieved on January 15, 2012 from http://www.freepatentsonline.com/article/Career-Development-Quarterly/183870354.html

Jett, C. (2010). Teaching Children How to Adapt. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 15, 2012, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/teaching-children-how-to-adapt/

Maree, K. & Elias, J. (2007). Educating people to be emotionally intelligent, Praeger Publishers, 16–30.

Silverman, R. A. J. (2008). 10 Tips on teaching children respect: You can’t get it if you don’t give it! Retrieved on January 15, 2012, from http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/10-tips-on-teaching-respect-to-children-you-cant-get-it-if-you-dont-give-it/

Facilitator

Dr. Raymond H. Hamden Clinical and Forensic Psychologist