“Gifts from the Heart” A Workshop on Gift Identification “The only gift is a portion of thyself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson Presented by Patricia Infante Director.

““Gifts from the Heart”Gifts from the Heart”

A Workshop on Gift A Workshop on Gift Identification Identification

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Presented by Patricia InfantePresented by Patricia InfanteDirector of Growth & ExtensionDirector of Growth & ExtensionJoseph Priestley District of the Joseph Priestley District of the

UUAUUAMetro NY Annual Meeting, May 3, Metro NY Annual Meeting, May 3,

20082008

““All people are lovable beings of All people are lovable beings of infinite worth, imbued with infinite worth, imbued with powers of the soul. We are powers of the soul. We are obligated to use our gifts, obligated to use our gifts,

talents, and potentials in the talents, and potentials in the service of life.”service of life.”

- From the vision statement of the UUA’s - From the vision statement of the UUA’s new Tapestry of Faith curriculum.new Tapestry of Faith curriculum.

What Can We Do for You?What Can We Do for You?

• People looking for a church are People looking for a church are usually “in transition” or “in tension.”usually “in transition” or “in tension.”

• They come with spiritual, physical, They come with spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and social emotional, intellectual and social needs.needs.

• Ministry is how we respond to those Ministry is how we respond to those needs with service, care or aid.needs with service, care or aid.

A Newcomer’s QuestionsA Newcomer’s Questions

• Newcomers want to know:Newcomers want to know:– Do I fit here?Do I fit here?– Does anybody want to know me?Does anybody want to know me?– Am I needed?Am I needed?

What are Spiritual Gifts?What are Spiritual Gifts?

• In the Christian tradition, they are a In the Christian tradition, they are a prescribed set of attributes that are prescribed set of attributes that are biblically derived.biblically derived.

• For our purposes, spiritual gifts are the For our purposes, spiritual gifts are the powerful attributes of our own being, the powerful attributes of our own being, the unique and special talents that we all unique and special talents that we all possess, that we use to do good for possess, that we use to do good for ourselves, our neighbors and in the world.ourselves, our neighbors and in the world.

Another definition…Another definition…

Our gifts are what make us unique. They are Our gifts are what make us unique. They are key to our very identity as people. (And the key to our very identity as people. (And the gifts of a faith community are essential to gifts of a faith community are essential to understanding that faith community’s understanding that faith community’s identity and calling, too.) They include so identity and calling, too.) They include so much more than our talents. As important much more than our talents. As important as our talents are, when was the last time as our talents are, when was the last time you valued your spouse, child or closest you valued your spouse, child or closest friend for only his or her most visible skills?friend for only his or her most visible skills?

- From “Created and Called: Discovering Our Gifts for - From “Created and Called: Discovering Our Gifts for Abundant Living” by Jean Morris TrumbauerAbundant Living” by Jean Morris Trumbauer

Assessing Your Spiritual Assessing Your Spiritual GiftsGifts

The one Spiritual Gift that we all shareThe one Spiritual Gift that we all share

is our presence.is our presence.

Gifts can come from nature: who we areGifts can come from nature: who we are

Gifts can be nurtured: what we valueGifts can be nurtured: what we value

Gifts are revealed through life Gifts are revealed through life experienceexperience

Take A Quick Inventory…Take A Quick Inventory…

• What are you good at?What are you good at?• What do you know something about?What do you know something about?• Who are the people you know or care Who are the people you know or care

about?about?• What kind of work do you do?What kind of work do you do?• What groups of people do you belong What groups of people do you belong

to?to?• What are some physical things that you What are some physical things that you

value?value?

Go A Little Deeper…Go A Little Deeper…

• Can you think of an event that brought you great Can you think of an event that brought you great joy? How were you changed by it? Were any gifts joy? How were you changed by it? Were any gifts revealed to you that you didn’t know you had?revealed to you that you didn’t know you had?

• Can you think of a time in your life when you or Can you think of a time in your life when you or someone close to you went through a difficult time? someone close to you went through a difficult time? How were you changed by it? Were any gifts How were you changed by it? Were any gifts revealed to you that you didn’t know you had?revealed to you that you didn’t know you had?

• Are there other gifts you wish you possessed?Are there other gifts you wish you possessed?

Assumptions That We Assumptions That We Make…Make…• We tend to make assumptions about a newcomers We tend to make assumptions about a newcomers

perceived gifts and how they might best be used in our perceived gifts and how they might best be used in our community. community.

• Even longtime members may not be using their gifts in Even longtime members may not be using their gifts in a way that leads them to spiritual growth. a way that leads them to spiritual growth.

• Sometimes we pigeon-hole people into a role Sometimes we pigeon-hole people into a role wewe think think they are right for.they are right for.

• We may be successful in recruiting people and then We may be successful in recruiting people and then wonder what happened when they fall away or burnout.wonder what happened when they fall away or burnout.

Let’s Welcome Visitor Let’s Welcome Visitor “Susan”“Susan”

What we know:What we know:• She is a young mother with three kids She is a young mother with three kids

who are 5, 8 and 11.who are 5, 8 and 11.• She has a partner who doesn’t attend She has a partner who doesn’t attend

with the family.with the family.• She has told us she is a teacher.She has told us she is a teacher.• The Primary Class is one teacher short.The Primary Class is one teacher short.• She seems harried on Sunday and is She seems harried on Sunday and is

often late.often late.

What we What we assumeassume about about Susan…Susan…

What We Don’t Know…What We Don’t Know…• She works full-time as a teacher of severely She works full-time as a teacher of severely

disabled young adults in an institutional disabled young adults in an institutional setting. She often feels overwhelmed by her setting. She often feels overwhelmed by her own kids.own kids.

• Her partner does not come because he is Her partner does not come because he is home taking care of her Alzheimer’s afflicted home taking care of her Alzheimer’s afflicted father-in-law who lives with them.father-in-law who lives with them.

• She plays the guitar and loves to sing. She She plays the guitar and loves to sing. She has warm memories of singing in a youth choir has warm memories of singing in a youth choir at the church she attended briefly in her teens.at the church she attended briefly in her teens.

• The choir warms up one hour before the The choir warms up one hour before the service.service.

What are the needs, the gifts,What are the needs, the gifts,and the opportunities in this story?and the opportunities in this story?

Let’s Welcome New Member Let’s Welcome New Member “Louise”“Louise”

What we know:What we know:• She has recently retired.She has recently retired.• She has attended several other UU churches over She has attended several other UU churches over

the past 20 years and just moved to this area to the past 20 years and just moved to this area to live closer to her daughter and her family.live closer to her daughter and her family.

• She has been a board president, chaired a capital She has been a board president, chaired a capital campaign and been active in adult programs.campaign and been active in adult programs.

• The nominating committee is looking for folks The nominating committee is looking for folks interested in being on the Aesthetics Committee interested in being on the Aesthetics Committee and the Hospitality Committee.and the Hospitality Committee.

• The Social Action Committee needs a liaison to The Social Action Committee needs a liaison to the local interfaith council.the local interfaith council.

What we What we assumeassume about about Louise…Louise…

What we don’t know:What we don’t know:• Her last congregation negotiated a Her last congregation negotiated a

resignation with their minister. This same resignation with their minister. This same minister married her daughter and led the minister married her daughter and led the memorial service for her late mother.memorial service for her late mother.

• She left the congregation in anger and has She left the congregation in anger and has vowed never to accept a position of vowed never to accept a position of leadership in a UU church.leadership in a UU church.

• Her son is on his second tour of duty in Her son is on his second tour of duty in Iraq.Iraq.

• She was a professor of Asian Studies and She was a professor of Asian Studies and has traveled extensively in the world.has traveled extensively in the world.

What are the needs, the gifts,What are the needs, the gifts,and the opportunities in this story?and the opportunities in this story?

Let’s welcome longtime friend Let’s welcome longtime friend “Paul”“Paul”

What we know:What we know:• He is an “IT” guy who works for a small He is an “IT” guy who works for a small

start up.start up.• He is quiet and doesn’t talk to a lot of folks He is quiet and doesn’t talk to a lot of folks

during coffee hour.during coffee hour.• He has been coming for several years and He has been coming for several years and

hardly ever misses a Sunday.hardly ever misses a Sunday.• We have never seen him with a partner.We have never seen him with a partner.• The website needs updating and the board The website needs updating and the board

has been pressuring the Communications has been pressuring the Communications Committee to find a volunteer.Committee to find a volunteer.What we What we assumeassume about about Paul…Paul…

What we don’t know:What we don’t know:• Paul’s wife died an untimely death five years Paul’s wife died an untimely death five years

ago. That is what brought him back to ago. That is what brought him back to church.church.

• He got into trouble as a teenager and was He got into trouble as a teenager and was mentored by an older adult from his church of mentored by an older adult from his church of origin. It was a transformative experience origin. It was a transformative experience which he looks back on with deep gratitude.which he looks back on with deep gratitude.

• He doesn’t have kids of his own and doesn’t He doesn’t have kids of his own and doesn’t think he has the skills to connect with today’s think he has the skills to connect with today’s youth.youth.

What are the needs, the gifts,What are the needs, the gifts,and the opportunities in this story?and the opportunities in this story?

Why do we fall into the Why do we fall into the “assumptions” trap?“assumptions” trap?

• A desire to get someone involved.A desire to get someone involved.• A need for a particular gift or skill within A need for a particular gift or skill within

the community.the community.• A governance structure with more slots A governance structure with more slots

than people.than people.• We have a tendency to focus on our We have a tendency to focus on our

internal needs over the needs of our internal needs over the needs of our neighbors.neighbors.

• We are experiencing burnout ourselves We are experiencing burnout ourselves and just want relief.and just want relief.

How Would Having a Gifts How Would Having a Gifts Based Perspective Change Based Perspective Change Things?Things?• Create opportunities to explore how a need for Create opportunities to explore how a need for

spiritual growth might be met by working in spiritual growth might be met by working in community.community.

• Gifts present themselves as the opportunities Gifts present themselves as the opportunities intersect with individual passions.intersect with individual passions.

• Just because I am good at something doesn’t mean Just because I am good at something doesn’t mean that I can grow spiritually by doing it at church.that I can grow spiritually by doing it at church.

• Just because I don’t have the skills I need right Just because I don’t have the skills I need right now, doesn’t mean I can’t grow into an area of now, doesn’t mean I can’t grow into an area of ministry that is meaningful or exciting to me.ministry that is meaningful or exciting to me.

• Whose needs are we here to serve?Whose needs are we here to serve?

Building a Gifts Based Building a Gifts Based MinistryMinistry

• Getting StartedGetting Started

• InterviewingInterviewing

• Gift Identification/DiscoveryGift Identification/Discovery

• ConnectingConnecting

• EquippingEquipping

• Recognize and appreciateRecognize and appreciate

Getting StartedGetting Started

• Thinking about accomplishing “the work of Thinking about accomplishing “the work of the church” by harnessing gifts and talents is the church” by harnessing gifts and talents is a new way of doing business for most of us.a new way of doing business for most of us.

• Leaders need to prepare the congregation Leaders need to prepare the congregation and manage the change that is inevitable.and manage the change that is inevitable.

• Select a team with the right gifts!Select a team with the right gifts!

• Map the existing assets of your congregation.Map the existing assets of your congregation.

• Give it time: 1 – 2 years is reasonable.Give it time: 1 – 2 years is reasonable.

InterviewingInterviewing

• What is your story? What does it say about What is your story? What does it say about you, your values and your passions.you, your values and your passions.

• Good active listening skills are critical here.Good active listening skills are critical here.

• Can be conducted by Minister, Lifespan Faith Can be conducted by Minister, Lifespan Faith Development Professional or trained lay Development Professional or trained lay team.team.

• Face-to-face interview is best.Face-to-face interview is best.

• Use surveys ONLY if you are going to use Use surveys ONLY if you are going to use them.them.

Gift IdentificationGift Identification

• One time workshopOne time workshop

• Spiritual practice planSpiritual practice plan

• Small Group MinistrySmall Group Ministry

• Ongoing adult programOngoing adult program

• Obtain resources and use themObtain resources and use them

DiscoveryDiscovery

People are gifted with distinctive People are gifted with distinctive competencies, not greater or lesser. competencies, not greater or lesser. The art is to help people discover and The art is to help people discover and

maximize what they do best.maximize what they do best.

-From “Effective Church Leadership” -From “Effective Church Leadership” by Kennon J. Callahanby Kennon J. Callahan

Discovery: A DefinitionDiscovery: A Definition

• Discovery is far more than a written Discovery is far more than a written inventory. It must be personal and inventory. It must be personal and include a face-to-face interview, as well include a face-to-face interview, as well as utilizing other methods and as utilizing other methods and instruments. At the heart of discovery is instruments. At the heart of discovery is an intentional conversation of the head an intentional conversation of the head and the heart that emphasizes listening.and the heart that emphasizes listening.

-from “The Equipping Church” by Sue Mallory-from “The Equipping Church” by Sue Mallory

ConnectingConnecting

• This is the most important part of the process.This is the most important part of the process.• What opportunities are the best fit for my gifts?What opportunities are the best fit for my gifts?• Is it the right place and the right time?Is it the right place and the right time?• It should be a structured process and not left to It should be a structured process and not left to

individual committees.individual committees.• Each group needs a current job description.Each group needs a current job description.• Someone needs to be looking at the big picture.Someone needs to be looking at the big picture.• Feedback necessary to prevent “the long Feedback necessary to prevent “the long

hallway.”hallway.”

EquippingEquipping

• Everyone needs to be given the proper Everyone needs to be given the proper tools for the job.tools for the job.

• Training is essential for the people doing Training is essential for the people doing the interviewing and the connecting.the interviewing and the connecting.

• Training can be formal or informal as long Training can be formal or informal as long as it is intentional.as it is intentional.

• Mentoring is a powerful way of developing Mentoring is a powerful way of developing one person’s gift by tapping into someone one person’s gift by tapping into someone else’s.else’s.

Random Thoughts…Random Thoughts…

• Pay attention to language: “invite” Pay attention to language: “invite” rather than recruit; “serve” rather rather than recruit; “serve” rather than volunteer; “ministries” rather than volunteer; “ministries” rather than programs.than programs.

• This kind of change takes time and This kind of change takes time and intentionality.intentionality.

• I cannot over-emphasize the notion I cannot over-emphasize the notion of of taking timetaking time to let this concept take to let this concept take hold.hold.

If there is no bliss in our work, no If there is no bliss in our work, no passion or ecstasy, we have not passion or ecstasy, we have not

yet found our work.yet found our work.

-from “The Reinvention of Work” by Matthew Fox-from “The Reinvention of Work” by Matthew Fox

Resources For Learning Resources For Learning More:More:• ““Created and Called: Discovering Our Gifts for Created and Called: Discovering Our Gifts for

Abundant Living” by Jean Morris TrumbauerAbundant Living” by Jean Morris Trumbauer• ““The Equipping Church” by Sue MalloryThe Equipping Church” by Sue Mallory• ““The Power of Asset Mapping” by Luther SnowThe Power of Asset Mapping” by Luther Snow• ““The Sacred Art of Listening” by Kay LindahlThe Sacred Art of Listening” by Kay Lindahl• ““Leading Change in the Congregation: Leading Change in the Congregation:

Spiritual and Organizational Tools for Spiritual and Organizational Tools for Leaders” by Gil RendleLeaders” by Gil Rendle

• ““Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times” Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times” by Peter L. Steinkeby Peter L. Steinke

• www.alban.orgwww.alban.org “Congregational Resource “Congregational Resource Guide”Guide”

In closing…In closing…

Each of us is a precious gift. Some Each of us is a precious gift. Some come with fancy bows and some come with fancy bows and some

are in plain brown wrappers. are in plain brown wrappers.

Every time we give of ourselves, Every time we give of ourselves, we show the world again that we we show the world again that we

matter to one another.matter to one another.