Getting to yes Separate people from problem & Inventing options for mutual gain

Getting to yes

Separate people from problem&

Inventing options for mutual gain

Group 8DeCarlos EvansLarry ChiKeith MacyLouie Glanton

Negotiation on the merits

• People– Separate the people from the problem

• Interests– Focus on interest, not position

• Options– Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what

to do• Criteria– Insist that the result be based on some objective standard

Why use negotiation on merits?

• Change the game of negotiation by…

1 Creating alternative to positional bargaining2 Participants are problem solvers3 Producing a better outcome4 Efficiency5 Amicable process 6 Building a long term relationship

Separate the people from the problem

• Easier said than done• Avoid positional bargaining• Diagnose the situation• Focus on the problem• Be soft on the people, hard on the

problem

Easier said than done!• We often see people and problems as one• Pre-conceived attitude (past experience or outside influence)

– Confirming a negative impression• Words or phrases used

– Use positive tone words (hand out)» Avoid using words like:

• you, your, you people and your company• Tone & Mood

– Your tone set your audience’s mood» Your tone express your attitude» Mood is your audience’s Emotion created by your tone

Caution– If you create a STRONG emotion,

» it is almost impossible to removed a negative emotion» it will be their Emotion dictating their decision and not facts or

merits

Mind Set or attitude check prior to any negotiation

– They are NOT your friends or adversaries

– They are someone you work with to resolve issues

– They are people just like you• They have emotions• Deeply held values (Intrinsic) • They like to be listened to or heard from

– Show care towards their…• Feelings• Problems • Concerns

Separate the people from the problem

Substance Relationship

Avoid Positional BargainingPositional bargaining deals with a negotiator’s interests; both in substance and in a good relationship by trading one off against the other.

You can’t have them both!

Separate the people from the problem

• Diagnose the situation– Who are you dealing with?

– Principle or negotiator • Gather information• Organize received info• Formulate strategies

• Focus on the problem• Have a clear identifiable goal

– What you are trying to resolve?• Concentrate on the merits• Avoid stating any unfounded facts

– People & Substance Interest– Confirming a negative impression

Separate the people from the problem

• Be soft on the people, hard on the problem– People have feelings and emotions just like you– Separate people problem from substantive problem

To better understand ourselves, we need to understand human problems

• 3 Basic human problems– Perception– Emotion– Communication

3 basic human problems• Perception– “Their thinking is the problem”• Your perception is your reality, so what are you think?

» If you don’t know, just ask » Don’t assume you know

• Knowing how they think will help you solve your problem

“The ability to see the situation as the other side sees it, is the most important skills a negotiator can possess.”

3 basic human problems• Emotion– What is effecting yours and theirs emotion?• Excitement• Frustrations• Nervousness• Anger• Fears • Hatred

Are you fit to negotiate?

3 basic human problems• Emotion– Don’t react to emotional outbursts• Caution: It could be a trap! • Allow the other side to let off steam• Listen quietly without responding to their attack

» Its hard and it takes disciplines and training» Do not respond with any sarcasm» Do not show irritation or confrontational gestures » Keep a steady facial expression

• Occasionally ask the speaker to continue until he has spoken his last word

» Leaves little or no surprises » Your goal is to “understanding how they think or feel”

3 basic human problems

• Communication– Can be difficult

– Misunderstanding– Too much distractions – Didn’t pay enough attention– Unclear on debated issues or problems– Thinking about your next argument and forget to listen

“Whatever you say, you should expect that the other side will almost always hear something different”

3 basic human problems

• Communication– Listen actively and acknowledge what is being said

– Ask for a clearly stated and or defined objectives from other party

– Clarify any ambiguity or uncertainty

– Seek complete clarification on all facts before negotiation

– Understanding is NOT agreeing– Speak for a purpose – Know what you want to communicate

Preparation

• Mind set or attitude check• Take time to meet with other party before

negotiation begin (Be early & proactive)• Identify all key players• Gather information • Identify – Common Goals & Interests– Problems to be solved

Invent Options for Mutual Gain

“Skills at inventing options is one of the most useful assets a negotiator can have”

Why?• Efficiency• Avoiding Deadlock• Helping you to help me• Identify the differences between you and me• Create a solution that they might readily accept

Invent Options for Mutual Gain

How?• Brainstorm with the absence of the other side• Choose a few participants• Clarify and set ground rules• Select and present ideas for consideration• Expert opinions• Seek for mutual gain

Brainstorm with the absence of the other side

• Internal group discussion• Participants need not worry about disclosing their…

» Feelings & opinions» Confidential information

• Free from criticism • Avoid having ideas taken to be a serious comment or

commitment to perform• Encourage free flow of ideas

Choose a few participants• Select a small group of people

• Participant from your party• Define your purpose or wishes to be accomplished• Friends or family member for more creative thinking

CautionWhen consider brainstorming with members from other side…

Risk• Risk of disclosing confidential information• Misleading an option to be an offer

Benefit• Creating a climate of joint problem-solving• Informing each side about the concerns of the other

Clarify and set ground rules

• Separation• Separation of Inventing from Criticism or judgment• Only new innovative ideas and solutions are allowed• Consider all possible ideas “Real” or “Imaginative” • Record all presented ideas

Select and present ideas for consideration

• Select several ideas• Identify and select best ideas for farther discussion• Deciding which of these ideas to be advanced in your

negotiation• Formulate a strategy

» Placed each idea in order of presentation» From best to worst » From worst to best

Expert opinions

• 3rd Party’s opinion• A different point of view• How does your argument holds up from the

perspective of different professions• Resolving any technical issues• Provide expert opinions • More solutions could be generated

Seek for mutual gain

• Think outside the box• More than one way to skin the cat• Leave other side satisfy as you accomplished your goal• Create a Win Win situation

• Identify shared interest• What do we all have in common?• Shared interests help produce agreement• Create new opportunities from your common goal• Shared interests can make your negotiation smoother &

amicable

Differences

• Many creative agreements reflect this principle of reaching agreement through differences

• Interest• Beliefs• Values

• Presenting interests • What is preferable, not necessarily acceptable• More favorable method of presenting interests

Decision

• Make their decision easy• Your success in negotiation, depends on how easy you

make it for the other side• Make it simple

» No hidden agenda» No deceiving of truth, facts or material

• Prepare multiple possible agreement• Start with the most simplest one• Start drafting your possible agreement as you present

them

Preparation

• Be prepare to invent options• Inventing options is not an alternative, it is a necessary

process of your negotiation

• Mutual gain will create…• Cooperation & compromising• Long term relationship • Amicable process

Inventing mutual agreements• What is good for me can also be beneficial to you

• Avoid weighted negotiation

• Avoid possible deadlock• If a decision is made by force or under pressure, it is very difficult to

change therefore; by inventing mutual agreements that benefit both sides can drastically reduce a deadlock

• Identify the differences• Creates opportunities and discover common goals

• Make it easy for them to decide• Efficiency

• Prepare multiple possible agreements• Start from the simplest• Be ready to draft your agreement during your presentation