G-You March/April Edition

The Comedy IssueMarch / April 2014

Glasgow University Union’sOfFicial Magazine

G-You

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it’s a laughing matterA Word From The Editor...

Hello and welcome to the March edition of the G-You, and my first as editor! Shout out to my predecessor Claire Flynn who has done a fantastic job on Board and with the magazine, and to the committee and con-tributors; you’re all great!This year is also going to be an ace one for Glasgow which I for one am mega excited about, and here at the G-You we want to get you in the mood for this. To help you leave behind the woes of exams, essays and disser-tations, this issue features our favourite co-medians, musical talent from here at Glas-gow Uni, some pun-tastic jokes, and politics articles to help you understand what’s going on in the world (because it’s all a bit confus-ing just now). So start smiling, and don’t say we’re not good to you!Enjoy!

Lucy KeownEditor-In-Chief

The Editorial Team:Editor-In-Chief: Lucy Keown

Features Editor: Harriet Johnston

Politics Editor: Kathryn Stevenson

Lifestyle Editor: Kirsty McKenzie

Culture Editor: Kate Whitaker

Column Editor: Lucy Keown

Sports Editor(GUSA Publicity Convenor): Stuart Morrison

Design and Photography Editor: Romain Ricchi

Sponsorship and Advertising: Joseph Meaden

Romain RicchiHolly FergussonJosie DevineClaire FlynnHarriet JohnstonRebecca RichardsonAlice CockburnIlana BrenerGU Student Dance Company

Kate WhitakerHuw ClarkeAli CooperHannah BurgessKathryn StevensonJoseph MeadenRobyn LivingstoneSean KellyRosemary Dolan

If you’d like to contribute to the magazine in any way (editorially, writing or photogra-phy) e-mail: [email protected]

The opinions expressed in this publication do not represent those of Glasgow University Union.Find us online:

gyoumagazine.wordpress.comissuu.com/guuimagazine

Contents2. From The Board - Holly Fergusson3. The Hotlist4. Features- Comedy Fix Me Up & Pundemonium5. Features- A Laugh A Minute & Keep Calm And Have A Laugh6. Politics- What’s Going On In Ukraine? & EU Election: What? When? Why?7. Politics- Give Me Liberty - Or Give Me A Lawsuit8. Lifestyle- Alternative Fashion9. Lifestyle- LinkedIn or Linked Out?10. Culture- Uni Bands11. Culture- Some Refreshing Comedy12. Column- Erasmust! & Hippy Nonsense13. Column- Sandy Says14. Sport- End Of Season Drama For Glasgow Men’s Water Polo15. Sport- Decadance & An Unlucky Day For The GUHC16. Clubs & Societies- GUWRFC Does Skydiving

Our Contributors:

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From The BoardBoard

-Holly Fergusson GUU Assistant Honorary Secretary

Hello! Welcome to the very first G-YOU from the new Board of Management and fantastic new Libraries Convener Miss Lucy Keown! I’m Holly Fergusson, the new Assistant Honorary Secretary, and I could not be more excited for the year ahead. Firstly, thank you so much to those of you that turned out to elect this new board on such a miserable day. We had over 750 votes cast, and over 250 new members that signed up that day.There really could not be a better time to get more involved here! We have just released our Freshers’ Helper 2014 application forms as well as committee application forms for our PR team, our Libraries committee and our Debates committee. Every year we take on just over 100 of the friendliest, most enthusiastic students Glasgow University has to offer, in order to make sure GUU provides each and every Fresher with the warmest possible welcome to their University life. If you think you’ve got what it takes, and are ready to throw yourself into one of the most fun and rewarding weeks of your life, please collect an application form from the Porter’s Box (immediately to your right as you come in the front door) or download it from www.guu.co.uk and make sure you get it in for 5pm on Friday the 28th of March. We get a lot of applications so make sure yours stands out and really shows your personality - you can be as creative as you like with it!

That’s not all we’ve got going on. We just held an incredible All Day St. Patrick’s Day Party and Thursday 27th March is the big End of Term House Party. Check out this event on Facebook to hear all about the Beer Pong, Inflatables, Ball Pits, Lasers and many more fun surprises.

That’s all from me just now, I’d love to speak to as many members as possible about what I’m going to be doing over the next year, especially all of our clubs and societies who will be my main focus and for whom I am your primary contact. Look out for GUU’s Affiliations Evening for Clubs and Societies that I will be holding in May!

So come down, get involved and most importantly, have fun! That’s what we do best.

Holly FergussonAssistant Honorary Secretary [email protected]

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The HotlistG-Your Hotlist

-Josie Devine

Croatia: Chances are you’ve booked a trip to Croatia this summer, and if not, you probably know five people that have. It seems Croatia is the next big thing on everyone’s bucket list - whether it’s a city break to Zagreb, or a cultured beach holiday in Split or Dubrovnik, there’s something for everyone in this up-and-coming destination. With Italy as a next-door neighbour and a coast on the Adriatic sea, Croatia did well in the geographic lottery – and there are more than a thousand islands apparently (I’m not talking about the salad dressing either).

Coconuts: These hard, furry balls should be at the top of your next shopping list. Packed with vitamins and minerals, and fighting illnesses like the common cold, is there anything the humble coconut can’t do? And when was the last time your moisturiser was edible? Coconut oil is a beauty regime saviour and you can cook with it, coconut milk is a store-cupboard staple, and drinking coconut water is a sure-fire way to feel instantly nourished. I know what I’ll be nominating for the world’s most versatile nut (actually a ‘drupe’) award. So whether you eat them, drink them, smother them on your body: go nuts with coconuts, they’re in.

Free from: Food intolerances have never been so fashionable. Whether you have dietary needs or not, what’s more trendy right now than a cake that’s gluten free, dairy free and vegan? These cakes must be healthy, because there’s nothing in them – right? Artisan Roast is great for such ingredient-less delights (carrot cake to die for) that mean you can indeed have your cake and eat it too. Did I mention Beyonce was vegan for 22 days?

Gymstagram: Celebs love this – me, not so much. Millie Mackintosh and the Kardashian sisters are the biggest culprits. Millie’s videos featuring an ever growing thigh-gap and Kim’s impossibly proportioned ‘belfies’ make me feel extra guilty about my lunchtime mars slice. And Khloe seems to have moved into her gym. Not what I want to see when I’m stuck in the library all day - and who looks that good working out anyway?

Jeepers Creepers: Ladies, this summer we’ll be putting our feet firmly on the ground again – in flat, single soled shoes that is. The hideous plat formed flats, otherwise (and rather appropriately) termed ‘creepers’, are creeping their way out of the spotlight. No need to worry - the extra inches you’ll forgo will be replaced with fashion points and your feet will look noticeably less chunky. Pointy toed flats are top of the tick list, while sandals and Supergas remain classic summer choices, and why not rock some running shoes as seen at Chanel?

Neknomi-what? I’m still coming to terms with how this was ever socially accepted. I for one much prefer some of the alternatives that have been circulating my newsfeed recently – most notably NickNominate, whereby ‘The idea is to occupy Facebook with pictures of Nicolas Cage to break the monotony of pictures that aren’t Nicolas Cage’, and nobody has to down a pint of vodka in the process.

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G-YouR FeaturesComedy Fix Me Up

Pundemonium

-Harriet Johnson

-Kate Whitaker

Looking for some laughs in these last few weeks of term? The brilliant Glasgow International Comedy Festival is back, boasting talent from across the globe in 46 locations across our beautiful city. Between the dates 14th March and 5th April, Glasgow will play host to 416 events with hundreds of hilarious people who will make in you in exchange for a few measly pounds. The Stand Comedy Club, which lies in the centre of our very own west end community, is also the heart of the festival. The comedy festival is in its eleventh year and has consistently aimed to provide a first class entertainment programme for the city’s residents. It also aims to ensure that there is always enough variety and value to allow all sections of the community to take part. The ultimate aim is to help put Glasgow on the map as one of the world’s leading cities and must-visit destinations. Ten years on and these objectives are still at the heart of what the festival does.

The festival organizers deliberately have acts who push the boundaries of contemporary comedy perform alongside more family-friendly comedians. And, of course, there is always a special place for home-grown talent where they can. Scottish Comedy Agency organize the festival; their director, Tommy Sheppard, acknowledged how big this year is lining up to be for Glasgow, “I’m delighted to say that we’ve got a programme which steps up the mark. This

is our biggest and most ambitious line-up yet and is set to do our city proud”. With the eyes of the world on Glasgow this year, the variety within the festivals programme is the strongest to date. It has a distinctly female flavour with two of the most celebrated comediennes of the moment, the brilliant Miranda Hart and Sarah Millican, gracing the Glaswegian shores. The Commonwealth Stands Up on Saturday 22nd March will whet the appetite for what’s to come during the Cultural Festival during Glasgow’s very own Commonwealth Games featuring four performer from across the Commonwealth.

Here’s a rundown of the other highlights from the festival 28th March – Joel Dommett – the hilariously awkward Joel is one of the fastest rising stars on the UK comedy circuit, having graced our TV screens for a couple of years now. He’s performing at Blackfriars basement.

29th March – Omid Djalili - He’s back on tour with a splash, following a sell-out four week London West-End residency and a sold-out season at the Edinburgh Festival.The Glasgow Comedy Festival is a great opportunity to see some world class comedians in local, intimate venues and well worth looking into!

Ever needed something clever to say but stuck for words? We’ve got a pun for that...

“A magazine held a pun competition and I decided to submit ten puns, because obviously one in ten was going to win… but then the results came out and no pun in ten did.”

“How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles”

“How does a man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.”

“Past present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.”

“What did the buffalo say when she dropped her son off at uni? Bison.”

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A Laugh A Minute Keep Calm And Have A Laugh!

-Hannah Burgess -Joseph Meaden

Have you ever sat down and thought about why your favourite comedians make you laugh? Until this mo-ment neither had I! Then I realised the comedians that make me laugh most, make me laugh for very different reasons.

Michael McIntyre. Love him or loath him you have to admit the mans observational skills are top notch. He points out things that we all do, without even realising. We all prance around shoe shops in a very odd manner, striking poses in mirrors that we reserve especially for such circumstances. We all know of the ‘man drawer’ at home, piled full with used batteries, screws instruction manuals which our Dad’s insist on keeping, ‘just in case’. We do it and don’t even notice, that in itself is funny!

Kevin Bridges is a vastly different comedian but still one who leaves his audiences in stiches. He tell us an-ecdote after anecdote of his life in Glasgow, and stories that all of us identify with. When speaking to people from south of the border who automatically assume Glasgow is pretty rough, you don’t disagree. You almost take pride in their assumption as if you’re living in a ghetto! He talks of the ‘empty’ parties that we all tried to get away with, drinking whatever alcohol you could get your hands on. He’s funny because we can see ourselves in the stories he tells.

In other instances great comedians have achieved their status by their persona, and the way they deliver their performances rather than the actual content. Rhod Gilbert plays the grumpy bachelor who documents his struggle with daily life. No human, however shel-tered, should encounter such a massive hurdle in at-tempting to purchase a duvet. The way he pronounces it, ‘dooovaaaay’, even thinking of it now is making me smile. If you’ve not heard it, get on You Tube immedi-ately. Similarly Reginald D. Hunter’s jokes, which can admittedly be mediocre, are made funny simply by the way he delivers them.

Put simply in the words of Steve Martin ‘comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.’

We all like to have a laugh. Many of us like to make oth-er people laugh. And some of us like to go on stage and (try) to make an audience laugh. Well, this is what I did for the first time last May. Early last year I was given the opportunity to perform five minutes of stand-up comedy at the Stand Come-dy Club in Glasgow. Obviously it’s a popular venue for performers and so it wasn’t for a fair few months until I had my slot, meaning I had plenty of time to literally ‘get my act together’.

It was fairly easy when deciding what to do. Friends and family had previously said that my main talent lies in my ability to impersonate people and doing accents. Combined with my interest in politics, I therefore knew what I was going to do - impersonating politicians! My act featured a bunch of different British politicians: Nigel Farage, George Galloway, Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair and Boris Johnson. It was a challenge and nerve-racking, but I had great fun preparing and per-forming. What’s more, I made people laugh!

So if anyone reading this is considering performing some stand-up comedy, here are a few points of advice from my experience at The Stand :

• Time-keeping! Whether it’s five or fifty minutes, make sure you have enough, but not too much, materi-al. You don’t want awkward silences. Equally you don’t want to rush and not allow your audience to laugh!• Practice! Perform in front of friends, the mirror, on the phone, wherever. Just make sure you know your material practically off by heart. • Relax! Make sure your body language goes with the flow of your comedy. Enjoy it as much as the audi-ence does. • Don’t worry! If no one laughs (which is unlike-ly) or you thought it went terribly, then at least you gave it a go.

Having only performed once, I can honestly say it was a great experience and I would love to do it again. I highly recommend anyone considering doing it to give it a go!

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What’s Going On In Ukraine?Politics

EU Elections: what? when? why?

-Alice Cockburn

-Joseph Meaden

The Ukrainian crisis has been everywhere in recent months; newspapers, social media, TV, but the real ins and outs of it are muddled and unclear. We know that Putin is putting pressure on Yanukovych, so far successfully, and that we in the EU don’t really know what to do. A look at history and its implications can help us understand why Yanukovych’s actions have caused such a powerful response.

These protests have similarities to those which toppled the Communist regime in 1989-1991 and the Orange Revolution in 2004-5. They have similar motivation; a rejection of the old authoritarian regime with a desire to reform and democratise. What democracy means in practice is perhaps not clear to some protesters but it represents freedom and ‘the West’, both of which are seen as ideals. Many believe that the EU will provide a path to successful democracy and improved conditions in the country and that provides the basis for the protests after Yanukovych sided with Putin and refused to sign the EU-Ukraine association agreement.

Since the protests began in late 2013 things have progressed quickly, with focus moving away from the EU. Feelings of success gripped many in February as the country’s parliament voted to remove Yanukovych from parliament and strip him of his powers. They quickly fell away as Putin sent Russian tanks into Crimea, justifying it as protection of the many pro-Moscow, ethnic Russians living there. He claims it is a humanitarian mission to protect citizens from ‘mortal peril’, although this ‘peril’ seems to have escaped most people. The implications of Russian occupation could be far reaching, splitting Ukraine in two with the possibility of Russian annexation of Crimea.

It is hard to know what’s actually going on as the games being played become increasingly complex. The actual events and what they mean are being repeatedly skewed by politicians so it’s hard to determine what the end game is anymore. To predict what direction the situation will take next is almost impossible and we can only hope that it will be representative of the desires of the citizens of Ukraine.

On Thursday 22nd May, Europe will vote for its representative Members of the European Parliament. However, voting turnout is often low for EU elections and there is a great lack of knowledge surrounding what actually is the European Parliament. Here are a few key points to note: • The parliament mainly operates in Brussels, where most committee and political group meetings take place, although sometimes decamps in Strasbourg.

• There are 766 MEPs representing around 375 million voters, which makes it the largest trans-national democratic electorate in the world.

• The UK as a whole has 73 representatives, 6 coming from the Scotland EP Constituency.

• Together with the Council of Ministers, the Parliament amends, approves or rejects EU laws and decides the EU budget.

• The Parliament co-legislates in areas including consumer protection, the single market, workers’ rights, asylum and immigration, agriculture, the environment

and animal welfare, but not foreign policy.

• It supervises over the European Commission, the executive body of the European Union responsible for proposing legislation, implementing decisions, upholding the Union’s treaties and day-to-day running of the EU.

This election may be the last chance the British public will be able to express their democratic voice within the European Union. Prime Minister David Cameron has promised that if the Conservative Party wins the General Election in 2015, an EU in/out referendum will be held the following year. With rising support for the euro sceptic UKIP and increasing divisive public opinion on the whole matter, who knows what might be Britain’s future in Europe. Another issue is Scottish independence. If there is a Yes vote in the referendum later this year, this could weaken the UK’s influence in Europe. Scotland would probably have to reapply to join the EU, subject to approval from member states.

The European Parliament elections give us a chance to directly express ourselves in the running of Europe. Therefore, with an uncertain future for UK-EU relations, this election may be our last chance to have a say in who represents us in the EU. Use your vote while you still have one!

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Give Me Liberty- Or Give Me A Lawsuit

-Ilana Brener

As I was reading the Washington Post online a few weeks ago, I glanced at a headline that went something along the lines of “Rand Paul is suing President Obama”. Being the open minded person I am, I decided to read the story and discovered that in fact Rand Paul, along with Republican Ken Cuccinelli, the former Attorney General of my home state of Virginia, decided to sue the President as well as the National Intelligence Director James Clapper, former NSA Director Keith Alexander, and FBI Director James Commey. The lawsuit came after the fallout from the revelations made by our new rector, Edward Snowden, in 2013. It was later discovered that the lawsuit was actually taken by Cuccinelli from constitutional lawyer Bruce Fein, who had been dropped from the complaint after writing it. The story has mainly dropped out of sight since then, but I thought it deserved another look.

If that seems innocuous enough, you have not been paying enough attention to American politics, and I salute you for distancing yourself from the maelstrom that has become America’s political system. What I found ironic about the situation is that Paul was caught stealing speeches and ideas a few months ago. Word for word, his speeches and public statements matched those of previous speeches and public statements. Some of his quotes came straight from Wikipedia and even several pages from a published book. Hopefully you can see why I find the entire situation ironic. Paul is not capable of coming up with his own speeches, and the same can be said for his own lawsuits.

What I take issue with is beyond what Paul has done. He is just a good example of what has gone wrong in my broken home. American’s suffer from a sense of entitlement. We wanted to be free from you so we had ourselves a little war over it (no hard feelings). We wanted to show our superiority over the rest of the world, so we put a man on the moon just to say that we could. When our government was caught by our own analyst spying a little more than

the acceptable rate as determined by the general public around the world, we decided it would be best to take them to court in the hopes that our civil liberties would be protected from the forever encroaching federal government. It’s a shame that the only civil liberties Paul cares about are the ones about privacy and not basic human rights like gay marriage, gender equality, and the numerous others that are present in America. He just picked the one that best suited his interests.

I might say something controversial and upsetting to people when I posit that I don’t actually think what the government did was all that wrong. Sure, bugging Angela Merkel’s mobile was maybe a bit too much, but the idea that the US was the only country to partake in such activities is naïve. We’re just the only ones who got caught. The idea of suing the government might be the only original Rand Paul actually ever had, except it wasn’t totally his to begin with. I found the story funny because it’s just another attempt for

the Republican to get his name in a few more newspapers before the 2016 Presidential election; Paul is already a front-runner to take on the Democratic candidate. The fact that the suit never came to anything shows the lack of credibility it was given in the first place.

The average Joe Shmo isn’t of interest to the government, your questionable Youtube searches and Google images are not of primary concern to the federal government. The programme, as I understand it (and I don’t pretend to understand it well), only sought out information and conversations that dealt with national security. I personally don’t see anything wrong with that, especially since we unfortunately live in an age where surveillance is a part of national security. What I do have a problem with are bogus lawsuits that may provide a laugh or two, but are essentially a waste of time and page space in the Washington Post.

Rand Paul - Friend or Foe?

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Alternative Fashion FixLifestyle

-Rebecca Richardson

This months glossy magazines have been filled with the most notable designer trends from the fashion week big four New York, Milan, Paris and of course London. For the majority of us longing for the latest looks there is also the devastating reality that these clothes, as good as they look, are expensive and for the most part not accessible. So before you resort to drastic measures to get your hand on the latest trends, there are some alternative fashion weeks and designer that might spark your interest.

With risk of sounding like a fashion victim, all things

Nordic have become particularly on trend recently. With this in mind, Copenhagen fashion week provided many practical and stylish clothes and just that little bit more affordable than your average designer get up. Simplistic, minimal and ever so chic, Copenhagen fashion week saw looks that reflected the culture of the city that produced them; fresh but with a moody edge. ‘Streetwear’ was definitely the buzz word of the week and the clothes showcased met this requirement perfectly, clothes you could cycle round the city with ease in. As founder of Copenhagen fashion label Bruns Bazaar aptly states of the styles shown: ‘We’re into dressing up but dressing up to an extent’. It is this ideology of limit that is key the success of Scandinavian fashion labels such as Acne and Bruns Bazaar , as well as a limit on the price of their designs. Saturnine hues of blue, grey and black are typical of the labels providing clothes that are classical and wearable.

Scandinavia has paved the way for it’s own local designers and this year many events around the UK

are attempting to do the same for our home grown fashion talent. There is a range of pop up fashion weeks around the UK launching towards the summer. One ambitious in scope is Edinburgh International Fashion Festival which will be launching it’s third annual event in July this year. The festival aims to provide a mix between local talent yet with an outward look to the fashion world at large.The details of the event are yet to come however, with last year seeing collaborations with designers such as Issey Miyake the ambitious aims of the event were met and are hopefully set to be amplified this year. The festival

attempts to promote Edinburgh as a city with a modern and innovative fashion base. Showcases such as Fashion Scandinavia which took place during the week promoted the outward looking nature of the event, offering inspiration for many from many vantage points.

Glasgow also is creating a platform for local aspiring designers. The summer hails the return of events such as Nightwalk promising showcases from both established and up and coming Scottish designers. Hosted at the Arches, the event focuses more on local talent and has recently made calls for design submissions. Nightwalk is no doubt an inspiring event for anyone interested in fashion and design in Glasgow. Glasgow School of Art also launched it’s own fashion week this month , showcasing mini collections from its third year Textile and Fashion Design students. The event was a sell out and with the school only recently offering a fashion design course hopefully we will more fashion talents honed and cultivated in our very own Glasgow.

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LinkedIn Or Linked Out? -Ali Cooper

Us students know a thing or two about procrastination. Whether it’s an hour or two of Facebook stalking or regularly tweeting the horrendous amount of uni work we still have to do (instead of actually doing it) Social Media is a common culprit. Linkedin on the other is social media with a twist: it might actually be worth some time investment. As the world’s largest online professional network with around 14 million UK users the site can help you connect to potential employers, advertise your skills and importantly provide something civilised when an employer fires your name into google! Setting up an account doesn’t take long however there are some golden rules to make it worth your while

1) The pictureHaving one is a good place to start. According to Linkedin, profiles with pictures are seven times more likely to viewed by others. The classic grey silhouette with a question marked face won’t get you a n y w h e r e . Whilst it’s t e m p t i n g , once you’ve set up your account, just to let it be a professional looking picture is essential. Emphasis on the professional. A future boss doesn’t want to see that hilarious picture of you rolling around on a Murano kitchen floor or chinning a pint in the beer bar – they have Facebook for that! The Glasgow University Careers Service runs a “Market your own selfie” photo shoot. It’s a good opportunity to get a professional photo taken for free. Chances are you won’t be able to find an ‘acceptable’ picture on your timeline so it’s worthwhile actually reading one those employability emails for once to see when the next shoot is.

2) Complete your profileLinkedin is a good space to put in things that didn’t quite squeeze onto the CV. Broader skills and achievements might help to tick the “well rounded person” box but it’s probably best to avoid overusing the oh so overused

buzzwords like ‘creative’, ‘organisational’ and ‘effective’. Spelling mistakes are an excellent way to murder your online career. You’ll get sick of it but making sure your profile is grammatically watertight will ensure your profile floats to the top of any future employer’s searches. Finally, keep it updated! Nobody wants to hear solely about the Burns poetry competion you won in S2 or the part-time job you left five years ago. It’s also probably good to avoid a link to your neknomination no matter how good your downing skills are.

3) Make ConnectionsThe whole idea behind Linkedin is to make connections with people in the fields you are involved in or (and more importantly) want to get a job in. Once you’ve made some connections with people you know the networking feature

allows you to request an introduction. This might help with getting the foot in the door of an organisat ion or company w i t h o u t handing a CV into the re c e pt i on i s t who can’t see that you’re

a perfect, talented and all round awesome Glasgow Uni student. Be picky though. Connections with allyour course pals might boost your connection count but won’t get you anywhere near that competitive internship – unless of course daddy is CEO!

Getting started is the hard part but once you’ve uploaded a picture and checked out some groups most of the work is done and you can get back to procrastinating. Whether it’s viewed as another addition to the “it’s not what you know but who you know” system or a more open market challenge to nepotism, Linkedin is undoubtedly something to consider when pondering life after uni. After a few minutes putting in your details a CV becomes available to a massive jobs market and what’s more, it won’t cost you 5p a print!

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Uni BandsCulture

-Kate Whitaker

London Grammar, Coldplay, MGMT, Passion Pit, Girl Talk, Vampire Weekend, even Queen. Universities across the world have long been breeding grounds for, not just alcoholism and a load of debt, but creativity and world famous musicians. Glasgow University is no exception. With a range of bands and musicians from orchestras to DJs to Open Mic regulars, Glasgow is ripe with talent and who knows, possibly the stars of the future.

Hannah Jackson is a third year at Glasgow and a singer/songwriter very deserving of a listen. Since her first gig in Glasgow back in 2010, Hannah has been busking and

singing in Swing Ltd, a jazz bar on Hope street. Her first EP ‘The Day That I Loved’ came out in February and can be found on her Bandcamp profile. Her style is acoustic and verging on country, naming influences such as Laura Marling and Eva Cassidy. From the flawless, velvet vocals of the title track to the sunny and slightly sassy Anyone’s Baby, Hannah’s EP is enchanting. She has announced another release in May and, as one of the new members of the GUU’s entertain-ment committee, she will be appearing as a regular treat for spectators at Open Mic.

Similarly, first year Law Student, Jemma-Kate, is also a singer/songwriter at Glasgow University. Describing her genre as contemporary, acoustic folk, Jemma-Kate’s

impressive vocals and delicate lyrics have got her noticed across Scotland. She has played at venues and events around the country including the Robert Burn Hu-matarian Awards and the Ayr Christmas Lights Switch On. The winner of West FM’s ‘One to Watch’ award, Jemma-Kate is due to release a new EP ‘Dream A Lit-tle Please’ in April 2014. Some tracks are available on her Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/jemma-kate, including ‘Anchor’ which has been listened to over 1000 times. Huevo and the Giant are a four piece indie, pop-punk band from Glasgow who’s sweet, summery guitar has that kind of Two Door Cinema Club ‘5pm at a festival on a rare day that it’s not raining’ feel. They reg-ularly play in Glasgow, including a recent gig as part of Dr Martins Stand For Something tour and furthermore, their song ‘Bloody Sweet Animals’ was featured in the film ‘Not Another Happy Ending’ staring Karen Gillan. Keep track of the band through their Facebook page and watch out for their new five track EP being released before summer.

A product of the flourishing indie rock scene in Glasgow and Scotland as a whole, Made As Mannequins are a four piece band made up of Glasgow Uni students Ben Macfarlane, Ryan Ramsey, Ian Smith and Jamie Flynn. They have the rough guitar and strong Scottish twang that we know and love from bands such as We Were Promised Jetpacks and Frightened Rabbit and their multiple support slots on the tours of Bwani Junction, Miniature Dinosaurs and Kassidy (who has inciden-tally also been supported by Jemma-Kate). Following the success of their debut single, ‘Am I Alive?’ which has collected nearly 7000 views on YouTube, the band released their first EP in January of this year. ‘Chief ’ is available on the bands Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/madeasmannequins and with the engaging lyrics of ‘Students & Streetlamps’ and catchy ‘On My Way Out’ it is an entertaining listen.

Finally, Calum Baird, originally from Edinburgh, is a folk singer/ songwriter. Having been playing for over a year, Calum released his debut EP ‘Nothing to Lose’ in January 2014. A combination of emotional vocals, acoustic guitar and even a harmonica, Calum is highly influenced by artists such as Bob Dylan. His Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/calum-baird-music has demos from his EP as well as some captivating covers.

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Ted X Launch Party

Doe, Ray, Me

-Kathryn Stevenson

-Kate Whitaker

As University of Glasgow held their first TEDx Conference on 15th March, the G-You reflects on their enriching evening at the TEDx Launch Party in early February this year. Students crossed into unknown territory as they arrived to the glamorous surroundings of the Grosvenor Hilton Hotel. The drinks tokens distributed upon arrival by friendly faced staff were quickly exchanged, and the party was underway.As we waited to be escorted into the next room, I took in my surroundings (secretly savaging for the promised canapés). The bar was filled with an array of different colours and characters making the theme, connectivity, even more invaluable. The room consisted of different stations all designed to encourage ‘connectivity’ which kept the crowd engaged as we awaited the main event. University of Glasgow students were working on the different stations, adding a charming ‘home-made’ feel to the evening. The speakers presented a melting pot of topics which all connected to connectivity. Rebecca Irving opened with sentimental childhood stories speaking on her emotional conquest to become a student at University of Edinburgh. Ben Semple made us set down our smart phones for a moment as he presented his portrayal of the world’s obsession with the internet through spoken word. What I like to call relatable poetry for those us not as well requited with the lingo. His poem, ‘My thighs don’t fit into skinny jeans’ gave bellowing laughs and initiative silences, firmly delivering his desired ‘light hearted but life changing’ message. Jamie Gallagher tackled the timeless topic of science. His amusing yet stimulating speech challenged our perception of gender roles. His experiment didn’t quite fulfil the ‘wow’ factor expected. However his spectacular appeal to change the face of research had the crowd captivated until the very last line. The evening concluded with a twirl and bang as Salsa4Water members took to floor and DJ Philantrobeats to the decks. Hungry from my unfulfilled quest for canapés, TEDx team made the most delicious delivery of the night- Dominos. That’s one way to guarantee a room full of students connect.

Before the 24th February I had never stepped foot in Glasgow University’s Concert Hall. Like anywhere in the main building it is stunning, majestic and grand, making it an ideal setting for Glasgow University Music Club’s Wind Band and Brass Band Concert which I would describe in much the same way.

Starting off the evening was the Brass Band. Co-Ordinated by Peter McCluskey and conducted by Thomas Brown, the band is a new venture for 2013/2014 and have only been playing together for a few months. Despite this, the group performed five songs from the magnificent Olympic Fanfare to the cheerful and energetic Men of Harlech.

Following a short interlude (and some free wine!) the Wind Band, comprising of many talented musicians and first time conductor, Jordan Currie, took to the stage. Co-Ordinated by Benjamin Rees and Mary McDowell, the band performed a trio of familiar pieces. These included ‘Fantasy of Flight’, a medley of several classic movie soundtracks from E.T to Harry Potter and ended with my personal highlight of the night, a beautifully composed and performed medley of songs from The Lion King.

The Glasgow University Music Club is a large club, with over 200 members. They pride themselves on being inclusive regarding ability and otherwise; the groups welcome anyone and are not chosen by audition. Dominic Welsh, the Club’s President claims “I think it’s really important that there is a society for people who come to Uni and don’t want to play in a group that is really strict with rehearsals and standard of playing, but can keep up their playing and have fun”.

As well as putting on concerts and weekly rehearsals, the Club have regular socials such as an annual Subcrawl, Burns night ceilidh and a residential weekend away. For anyone interested in joining email [email protected] or visit www.glasgowunimusicclub.weebly.com for more information.

On the 21st March the Club will be putting on their End of Term Spring Concert at 7:30 in the Glasgow University Concert Hall. Entry fee will be a donation to the Music Club’s chosen charity, which this year is Drake Music, an organisation that coordinate music therapy for the disabled. It will undoubtably be an incredible event and a showcase of the hard work and talent of Glasgow University Music Club.

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G-YouR Column

Erasmust! Hippy Nonsense Robyn Livingstone -Huw Clarke

Meanwhile in Canada...

I opted to spend my third year abroad at the University of Calgary, a place best known for its appearance in the Disney movie ‘Cool Runnings’, and for having a temper-ature average of -25. Well this week, that turned out to be completely accurate when it reached a record low of -43.With just over a month left I’ve had a chance to reflect on what I’ve learnt by risking it all to study abroad. I am now a proficient line dancer, I can two-step and dance at least eight different set line dances - line dancing here is the equivalent to clubbing or attending a ceilidh. If you can’t dance, you’re expected to learn, fast! Calgary is the home of the ‘new west’ and very country. My Spotify now has a number of country playlists which I will listen to for evermore. University here is much more hands on than Glasgow with assessments throughout the term, al-though it’s surprisingly enjoyable. Just last week in class they bought puppies into a lecture because ‘sometime you need some puppy love’?! Living an hour away from the Rockies is great for all things to do with snow. As much as I complain about assessments I have managed to ski at least every other weekend, as well as trying and failing at winter sports that I didn’t even know existed.The biggest thing though is the people. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have celebrated National Australia Day and an important date in the Finn-ish calendar that I couldn’t pronounce. I have been taught by Norwegians that après ski requires an entire bottle of spirit, minimum. I have discovered that Canadian’s really are friendly and too polite, you steal a traffic cone here to bring back to your flat, and it is frowned upon. I’ve learnt how to sing in Spanish and that Spanish people salsa as a form of transit. Also, everywhere I’ve gone I’ve bumped into people from home to share it with. So as next Mon-day brings in my country’s national day, St. Patrick’s, I am excited to scar and taint other foreigners and locals, who have scarred and tainted my memories with only good times. Oh, and the ability to swear in numerous languages.

A satirical look at the bohemian natives of Portland, Oregon, Portlandia is one of the smartest current com-edies.

Portland exists in the centre of the ironically titled ‘Muesli belt’ on Americas west coast. This area is dom-inated by the oh-so-modern creative industries, mostly tech start-ups and advertising agencies. The creation of Saturday Night Live alumni Fred Armisen and sing-er Carrie Brownstein; Portlandia mocks the bizarre clothes, hobbies and music of Portland’s painfully fash-ionable residents without ever descending in the sort of reductive hipster-hatred beloved by the internet. Despite not being broadcast in the UK (seriously BBC Four, where are you?) and a tiny audience in Ameri-ca, the show has gained somewhat of a core fanbase through Netflix (how terribly 2014). Recognition has come in the form of a Peabody award in 2012, and a fourth series has just begun in America.

The first episode opens with a song proclaiming ‘The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland’. Indeed the char-acters in the show reflect the unbridled optimism and creativity of pre-Bush America. Experimentalism is en-couraged in every aspect of the city: a shop featuring a bird on every product, a band featuring a cat on an instrument, an intense hide-and-seek tournament. One of the funniest recurring sketches features the owners of the feminist bookstore ‘Women and Women First’ (which stocks a book entitled ‘Vaginas: An Owners Manual’) who repeatedly berate customers for being guilty of patriarchy.

The closest comparison on British television is Channel 4s Nathan Barley, which in 2005 satirised the residents of Shoreditch (at the time high on blogging and Banksy) but whereas the tone of that show was often bleak and pessimistic, Portlandia celebrates the eccentricities of those it lampoons. Armisten and Brownstein have both been residents of Portland and you feel that they have experienced, and maybe been guilty of, the pretention featured in their sketches. Their irony and self-refer-entialism make Portlandia the perfect antidote to our modern times.

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Sandy Says

For all those with soul-wrenching secrets, burning questions about love, life and why Viper is marketing Pints of Fun, Sandy is here to shed some light on these out of the ordinary aspects of life which sometimes can get us all in a muddle. A veteran at life, Sandy’s motto is ‘Help me to help you’, and with that we welcome our new favourite aunty to tell us what’s what. It’s totally anonymous, totally un-serious and totally legit (ahem)...

Dear SandyI have a flatmate who thinks he’s funny... but he’s just not. He has signed up and participated in some stand up comedy nights in which he was painfully bad, but it still hasn’t put him off. What can I do to help him realise he needs a change in hobby? It’s excruciating watching him get laughed at again and again!Signed, Don’t Want To Be Cruel To Be Kind

Dear Cruel To Be Kind,I think you should consider how much this opinion will actually hurt his feelings, and whether or not he will be forever emotionally scarred by this realisation. To be honest I think someone at some point will make it clear to him how rubbish he really is... better for you to take the plunge now and tell him. He might hate you forever, but it’s a risk you’ve got to take. Or leave him to be rubbish but blissfully ignorant and happy until someone bursts his bubble, emotionally scarring him forever. It’s your call.

Dear SandyI’m trying to think of original ways to fundraise for my volunteering abroad this summer. I’m sick and tired of bake sales, and I’m a rubbish runner. Any ideas for me that people will be impressed by?Signed I Wanna Be a FUN-draiser

Dear FUN-draiser,This is always a tricky one, cause it’s pretty hard to ask people for money, even for a good cause. I think the best way is to do something to earn it; if you’re musical, you could busk and let people know it’s for charity – you’d make an awful lot more that way. Or you could sell your worldly possessions on eBay, do a sponsored head shave, or do something generally embarrassing. Think ‘What would people pay most to see me do/eat/drink/smoke/wear’ and you’ll have your answer. Unless it’s that people will pay most to see you running around naked drinking a bottle of Buckfast and screaming at innocent bystanders. In this case, any money you raise will go towards your bail.

Well thanks for your time Sandy! Remember, if YOU have a problem, Sandy can help you! E-mail her at [email protected], a totally confidential service for all your agony aunt needs, or tweet her at @g_youmagazine. Until next time Sandy.

14

G-YouR

End Of Season Drama For Glasgow Men’s Water Polo

Sport

-Sean Kelly

Going into the final game before Christmas, everything was going so well for the Glasgow Uni Men’s Water Polo team. They had qualified for the next round of the cup and had won all their league games. Then along came Dundee. The two teams battled it out in a huge game that Glasgow were leading going into the final quarter, but fal-tered before the final whistle and allowed Dundee to win the game 12-11.

In the first game after Christmas a rematch was offered in a Cup game. Glasgow travelled to Dundee with a weak-ened team but, despite playing better than the previous game, lost 13-11.

Glasgow then managed to make amends, winning their remaining league games, while Dundee let slip a poor re-sult meaning that both teams were on 24 points.

Fast forward to the 7th March and the scene is set perfect-ly for the last game of the season, as Glasgow travelled to Dundee on level points, for a winner takes all, clash of the titans. An away win, would mean Glasgow would win the league. Given how tight the previous games had been, the boys knew this was going to be a game of fine margins and prepared extensively on how best to keep the hosts from scoring.

Cheered on by a full bus load of noisy Glasgow sup-porters, the atmosphere on poolside was electric. As the teams lined up for the swim off it was hard to hear the referees whistle as the game started at a frantic pace. The first quarter was dominated by superb defence from both teams. Glasgow’s plan of containing Dundee’s main threat was working well, but was hindering their attack. Howev-er with the last attack of the quarter the black and golds set up Mannix O’Boyle who faked cleverly, and shot into the near corner, giving Glasgow a 1-0 lead at the end of the first quarter.

The second quarter continued at a fast pace, and Glasgow worked Graeme O’Flannagain into space at the deep end who scored making it 2-0. Dundee got on the score sheet soon after that goal, and then took advantage as Glasgow were down to 6 men for an exclusion to equalise. They

then scored again to go into the lead for the first time, making it 3-2. A Rob Slater goal from the

right wing brought it back to 3-3 at halftime.

At the halftime break the Glasgow boys were reminded that this was their night and a victory was the only accept-able outcome. It had the desired effect as tight defence, great saves by keeper, Greg Carr, and goals from Rob Slat-er and Oli Coombs took Glasgow into the final quarter leading 5-3. The Glasgow supporters, including GUSA president Stu Law, were doing a fantastic job of making it feel like a home match for Glasgow, as they shouted, sang and screamed their encouragement.

Final quarter: Dundee scored the first goal of the quarter, but this was cancelled out in the next attack by another (air) Mannix O’Boyle special making it 6-4. With a lit-tle under two minutes remaining Dundee cranked up the pressure with another goal bringing it to 6-5 to Glasgow. Dundee only needed a draw to win the league and threw everything at Glasgow in the last seconds, but the defence held firm, and a second Graeme O’Flannagain goal with forty seconds left sealed the game for Glasgow, who held on to win 7-5. The crowd went wild at the final whistle, and as the teams shook hands, everyone could agree that it was a special night for University sport, and for the Glasgow Uni Men’s Water Polo team, at last, on the final game, Scottish 1a League Champions, 2013/14.

Team:1. Greg Carr2. Soma Molnar3. Tom Gebbie4. Edward Mallinson5. Ibrahim Kraria6. George Hall7. Rob Slater

8. Graeme O’Flannagain9. Alex Zegart10. Mannix O’Boyle11. James Pulham12. Oli Coombs13. Sean Kelly (captain)

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An Unlucky Day For the GUHC

Decadance-Glasgow student Dance Company

-Claire Flynn

At the end of February Glasgow student Dance Company took to the stage of the Mitchell theatre and performed Decadance, a show celebrating their ten year anniversary. Ten years ago when Manda Jones set up the company there were only 8 members but this year a whopping 150 members performed. There were 20 different dances in the show, all choreographed by members of the company. The company performed many styles of dance: there were cultural one such as Bollywood, highland, Irish and flamenco; there were contemporary dances, jazz dances, modern dances and ballet and many more. All the dances were performed to an incredibly high standard even though many of the dancers were complete beginners in September. My favourite dance to watch was probably the flamenco, choreographed by Laura Pasternak. I’ve always been a fan of more traditional types of dance and some of the girls who danced flamenco told me that they had been taught a lot about technique which meant everyone looked professional.

I was in two dances: Ballet and Highland. Both my were wonderful and I couldn’t have been happier with how the show went. Performing in the show was exhilarating and great fun. Rachel Anderson, the president of the company, told me what it was like organising such a large show “Even with so many people, everyone works extremely well as a team and we are all there to support each other and have a great time. I have had a great time being President this year, and from seeing the end result at the show and hearing the feedback from those who came to see it, I feel honoured to work with such talented, lovely people!”GSDC is a great society. I’ve danced for as long as I can remember but with normal classes starting at about £6 per hour I wasn’t expecting to be able to keep it up when I started Uni. However GSDC membership cost only £25 and you can do up to 5 classes. Dance is normally overlooked as a form of exercise but it is in my opinion one of the best. It burns calories and improves flexibility, both of which are very important for health.

The Glasgow University Hockey Club were hoping for a day of dreams on the 5th of March when three out of the seven teams took to the mighty fortress of Garscube to play in important BUCS matches. However, that was not to be, as each team, unfortunately, walked away suffering a loss. The GUWHC 2nd XI were the first to take to the pitch against the Edinburgh 3s. It was the semi-final of the BUCS Conference Cup meaning both teams came out fighting from the start. Edinburgh took the lead but Julia McGovern of Glasgow quickly scored an equaliser. However, Edinburgh managed another goal, which, despite their best efforts, the Glasgow girls were not able to match meaning the final score was 2-1 to Edinburgh.

The GUWHC 4th XI were the next to take to the pitch in the BUCS Conference Plate semi-final. The girls were entered the match with some confidence due to their high number of victories this year. However, the St. Andrews 3rd XI proved to be a formidable opponent. While this

match again proved to be fairly even, St. Andrews clung to their lead in the final minutes of the game resulting in a 3-2 victory.

The GUMHC 1st XI were the last to play on the day in the BUCS Conference semi final. The was the most intense game of the day as it was against local rivals, the Strathclyde 1st XI. Again, it was a close and evenly paced match that saw the whistle blow with the two sides drawing at 3 goals to 3. In the end it went to penalty flicks, which Glasgow narrowly lost to their opponents on.

While the scores may have been disappointing for the GUHC on the day, the high standard of hockey, hard-work and dedication of the players is something to be proud of. There was also an incredible number of black and yellow supporters cheering from the sideline. While the teams may have not progressed further in their competitions, they still proved themselves as one of the most successful sports clubs on campus.

16

G-YouR Clubs & Societies

GUWRFC Does Skydiving--Rosemary Dolan

Glasgow University Women’s Rugby Club is now in their 26th year as a club at the University of Glasgow. Throughout the years the club has gone from strength to strength, producing a number of international players along the way, including a Scotland Captain, with two club alumni representing the country in this year’s Six Nations. GUWRFC has a very busy schedule throughout the season, starting in September and ending in May. Throughout this, we take part in both the BUCS league

and BUCS Trophy on Wednesdays, and the RBS Scottish Women’s league and RBS Bowl on Sundays. The club also hosts its own 7s tournament in May, as well as taking part in several 7s competitions at the end of the season. This results in between 30 to 40 matches a year for the club.

With this high demand, fundraising is essential for the club. Any funds raised go towards paying for the replacement and maintenance of equipment, purchasing club kit and transport to matches; all of which is essential for the club’s survival and success. Additional funds give the club the opportunity to pay for specialist coaching, which is vitally important with so many diverse roles in

a rugby team.

A busy match schedule in addition to degree commitments makes fundraising an enormous challenge. However, this year two of our members have come up with a unique and daring idea to raise essential funds for the club. Our two social secretaries, Hannah Hotchin and Katherine Rennie, will take part in a sponsored skydive in order to up the adrenaline, and show the rest of us the dizzy heights to which commitment to a club can take you!The sponsored skydive will take place at Strathallan

Skydiving centre on the 29th March. The skydive, the first for both of them, will be challenging and no doubt terrifying, but in testing themselves, they hope to not only raise funds for the club but also inspire more people to get involved in women’s rugby.

A link to a Facebook page, where donations can be made, can be found on our Facebook page: Glasgow University Women’s Rugby Club. Please take a look, spread the word and hopefully show your support by making a donation, no matter how small. If we’ve caught your interest and you’d like to give rugby a try - get in touch, or join us at Garscube on Mondays at 7.30 or Fridays at 5!