Funnisms (political ideologies)

Falk’s ISMS of the Political World

J. Marshall, 2009

Socialism

You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbour.

Now, you have only one cow.

Communism

You have two cows. Give both cows to the government and they may give you some milk.

You had two cows.

Fascism

You have two cows. Give all the milk to the government and the government sells it.

Nazism

You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.

You have nothing.

Anarchism

You have two cows. You keep both cows, shoot the government agent and steel another cow.

Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one cow and buy a bull.

Now, you can make many cows.

Surrealism

You have two giraffes.

The government makes you take accordion lessons.

It’s not supposed to make sense – it’s surreal!

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