Freedom Dreams & Silent Screams

FREEDOM DREAMS & SILENT SCREAMS: LIFE IN A SINGLE PARENT HOME IN SINGAPORE

MERCY KARUNIAH MICHAELNational Institute of Education, Singapore

[email protected]

RESEARCH AIMS & QUESTIONS The central focus of this study was to examine the parenting practices of low-income-earning Singaporean, Indian, single mothers and explore the perspectives of their children on the parenting they received. A key aim of this study is to explore and describe the nature of the parent-child relationship as developed in Singaporean Indian single parent families that are low-income earning.

MERCY KARUNIAH MICHAEL, NIE,NTU; [email protected] 2

QUESTIONS What are the a) parental beliefs and attitudes b) parenting practices adopted by Singaporean Indian single mother families characterized by low income? What are the mother and child’s perceptions of the influence of low-income on the parenting process? What are the mother and child’s perception of the influence of single parenthood on the parenting process?

3MERCY KARUNIAH MICHAEL, NIE,NTU; [email protected]

SIGNPOSTS FROM THE LITERATURE PARENTING


5

TYPOLOGIES

MERCY KARUNIAH MICHAEL, NIE,NTU; [email protected]

Key Constructs: Warmth/Acceptance/AffectionControl/Demandingness

PARENTING IN THE LITERATURE

Research studies (McGroder,2000; Davis-Kean, P.E, 2005; Arditti, J, Burton, L, & Neeves-Botelho, S, 2010; Ricciuti, H.N, 2004) have found that family structure and income levels have a key role to play in the cognitive development of young children.Single mothers who earn limited income face enormous stress to maintain a family, which can affect the quality of parenting the child receives (Ghate, D, & Hazel, N, 2002). The stress is multiplied if there are a few children.

Mothers in such circumstances who are not very highly educated rarely provide cognitive stimulation for their children, which further limits their development (Ricciuti,2000; Davis-Kean, 2005; Smetana & Daddis, 2002; Stevenson, H.W, Chen, C, & Uttal, D.H,1990)

Mothers’ economic limitations also limits the resources they can procure for their children (McLoyd, V.C,1990)

Children from such homes, even when deeply nurtured perform weakly in the academic subjects (McGroder,2000)


KEY FINDINGS CON’T Yet, studies (Stattin, H, & Kerr, M, 2000; Kakihara, F, & Tilon-Weaver, L, 2009; Jarrett, R.L, 1997; Jarrett, R.L, 1999) have suggested that parent-child relationships that are characterized by firm control, warmth, communication and active parent involvement enables positive child outcomes irrespective of income levels and family structures. These findings, however, are coming from urbanized and westernized settings; with studies involving the black communities coming mostly from the United States. The constructs advocated above seem to dove tail with the dominant parenting typology that is widely accepted in this field of study: AUTHORITATIVE


YET…

QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

Since my study is exploratory in nature, I decided to work out the quality of the relationships exhibited in the dyads by examining parenting practices instead, rather then fit what I saw into a dominant style – I sought to understand how parenting was experienced by both the mother and the child. I am interested in seeking out motivations for actions and how these actions crafted responses in both parties. It is the emotional climate that I am seeking..


1. QUALITATIVE APPROACH2. SMALL SAMPLE SIZE3. FOCUS ON WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY

– SEEKING OUT PERSPECTIVES


VARSHA AND VIJAY Varsha – divorced and single-handedly brought up Vijay. Vijay’s father is an Indian citizen, with whom Varsha has cut off all ties. Vijay does not know who his father is. Vijay is at the point of this study 10 years old, attending Bright Fields Primary School. He is in Primary 4 and is in one of the weaker classes. He qualifies for financial aid Varsha and Vijay both stay with Varsha’s sister, Amirtham, who supports them.

INITIAL FINDINGS Some observations


UNABLE: $/education levels/language deficits

Interrupted – feels chained

Can’t meet up to her own expectations: develops a poor sense of self and feels inadequate as a parent – decreasing her sense of efficacyMERCY KARUNIAH MICHAEL, NIE,NTU; [email protected] 11

QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIP: TENSEDMother

1) Marked by Intense Stress 2) Marked by Acute disappointment- child and self 3) Inconsistent signals: conflict between Warmth and Control. 4) Characterized by harsh & punitive measures to ensure compliance

Child – sees parental involvement in this way 1) attention 2) affection 3) interaction


OBSERVABLE EFFECT ON VIJAY As a result of her perception of her lived conditions and the ways in which she reads the events and the people around her; Varsha does not actively engage with the people around her, including Vijay. Even though she tells me that she converses, has shared activities:

The child provides an alternative picture


DETACHED & UNENGAGED MOTHER 1) Feels that she does not understand his struggles: academic performance 2) Feels she cannot appreciate his talents/gifts: feels slighted and unappreciated 3) Confused by the harsh punishments – inconsistencies in reasoning and actions 4) unable to connect to his mother- she does not take up his offers to go out/play/talk – she just sits on the sofa, wearing a sad expression.


CONCLUDING THOUGHTS Varsha as a struggling single parent is highly aggravated about the basic needs of her child and herself. She resents that she is dependent on relatives for sustenance and shelter

She is exhausted with the applications to the government for low-cost housing – denied to her due to her marital status

She is stressed mentally and emotionally by Vijay’s poor academic performance which she places a premium on

She also knows that inspite of how she feels she cannot help him – it shatters her sense of efficacy

But she has to try to convince him because its primary for her – its her BELIEF that educational success paves the way for general success in life


CHILD RESPONSESaddenedAngry and confusedDecides to limit conversation in order not to engage in confrontations.


TENSION AND CONFLICT The child is moving away – now the child is about 13 years old. His FB page shows how he is spending his time – he seems to have found a strong involvement in religion – he was participating in Thaipusam – he had built a Kavadi and his interests lie with warrior Gods or Guardian Gods – not quite within the traditional Hinduism. I see many posts on his leisure activities with friends He says very little about his family – even pictures with family is rare.MERCY KARUNIAH MICHAEL, NIE,NTU; [email protected] 17

Freedom Dreams & Silent Screams

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