Formal and Explanation Writing Unit

Formal and ExplanationWriting Unit

Contents Introduction 3

List of resources 5

Framework objectives 6

Unit plan: week 1 8

Unit plan: week 2 9

Resource sheets

Lesson notes and transcripts for days 1, 2, 6 and 7 11

2a and 2b: Informal invitation OHT and annotations 17

2c and 2d: Formal invitation OHT and annotations 19

2e: Comparative grid OHT 21

3: Newspaper report OHT 22

4a and 4b: DVLA leaflet extract OHT and annotations 23

5a and 5b: Passport application OHT and annotations 25

6a and 6b: Informal letter of complaint OHT and annotations 27

6c and 6d: Formal letter of complaint OHT and annotations 29

7: Complaint scenario OHT 31

8a and 8b: Informal explanation OHT and annotations 32

8c and 8d: Formal explanation OHT and annotations 34

9a and 9b: Formal explanation OHT and annotations 36

9c: Flow chart OHT 39

9d: Car accident notes OHT 40

10a and 10b: Volcanoes OHT and annotations 41

11: Earthquakes (opening) OHT 44

The National Literacy Strategy

2

Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003Formal and Explanation Writing Unit


3


IntroductionPreparation for this unit

Prior to teaching this unit, it would be helpful for teachers to be familiar with the mark scheme

for the 2003 Key Stage 2 writing test. Changes to assessment 2003: sample material for Key

Stages 1 and 2 has been sent to all schools as a booklet and is also on the QCA website with

some additional sample material at www.qca.org.uk/ca/tests/2003sample.

The assessment focuses in the 2003 mark scheme are drawn together under strands: sentence

construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. These

are the elements of writing covered by the word, sentence and text level objectives in the NLS

Framework for teaching.

Sentence construction and punctuation

• vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect

• write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

Text structure and organisation

• organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information,

ideas and events

• construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs

Composition and effect

• write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts

• produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose

The two word-level focuses are

• select appropriate and effective vocabulary

• use correct spelling

The vocabulary focus is assessed through all three strands and the spelling focus

is assessed through a separate spelling test.

Changes to assessment 2003: guidance for teachers (KS2 English) has also been sent

to all schools. In order to understand the mark scheme, this booklet suggests:

• comparing the 2002 sample materials with test papers from previous years;

• using a script of a longer writing task in the sample materials on the website, cutting

up the annotated notes and matching them to the appropriate places in the script;

• applying the strands from the mark scheme to the scripts;

• giving the children a sample longer task using a prompt from the website, and marking

a selection of pieces of writing with a colleague using the 2003 mark scheme.

The unit

In this unit on formal writing and explanations, the resources for analysing texts and for

demonstrating writing have been annotated under the three strand headings: sentence

construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect.

The unit extends children’s understanding of explanation writing and the use of formal language

features by comparing informal and formal texts; analysing and demonstrating written texts;

and supporting the children in writing their own formal texts and explanations. While reading

the texts, analysing them and participating in demonstration lessons the children will learn how

to construct sentences and paragraphs to achieve the effects needed to inform the reader. In the

plenary, the teacher will have the opportunity to respond to the children’s writing with the three

assessment strands in mind.

Written outcomes of the unit

• Formal invitation

• Glossary of formal words and phrases

• Formal explanation of the function of a library card

• Formal letter of complaint

• Two brief formal explanations

• An extended explanation of a process

Resources

The resources for the unit include lesson notes and transcripts for the first two days of each

week, texts for analysis and texts to use to demonstrate writing. Annotated versions of the texts

are also provided showing the effective features of the sample texts. These are notes for the

teacher to use as support during the analysis of the text with the children and as points to bring

out during teaching.

Resource sheets 2 and 3 are related to social events. The invitations provided on Resource

sheets 2a and 2b can be substituted to reflect other celebrations in our culturally diverse society.

Teachers may also wish to replace the report of a ball with a report of a different celebratory

event relevant to the lives of their pupils, or a fantasy event, e.g. Prince Charming’s ball.

Copies of the booklets from which Resource sheets 4a and 5a are taken can be obtained from

post offices. Teachers may wish to have copies of the authentic documents to show to pupils.

If possible they should also have some examples of different invitations to supplement those

in Resource sheets 2a and 2c.

Books, articles, CD-ROMs and Internet access to materials on earthquakes are needed

for the children to undertake research on day 8.

The two weeks of this unit can be taught as a fortnight of work or be split into two separate

weeks; alternatively, one week may be taught and not the other.


4



5


List of resources

1 Lesson notes for days 1, 2, 6 and 7

Resources for day 1

2a Sample text: Informal invitation

2b Annotated informal invitation

2c Sample text: Formal invitation

2d Annotated formal invitation

2e Comparative grid

Resources for day 2

3 Sample text: Newspaper report of ball

Resources for day 3

4a Sample text: Extract from DVLA leaflet D100

What you need to know about driving licences

4b Annotated DVLA leaflet extract

Resources for day 4

5a Sample text: Extract from Passport Office leaflet

How to fill in your passport application form

5b Annotated Passport Office text

Resources for day 5

6a Sample text: Informal letter of complaint

6b Annotated informal letter of complaint

6c Sample text: Formal letter of complaint

6d Annotated formal letter of complaint

7 Complaint scenario

Resources for day 6

8a Sample text: Informal explanation

8b Annotated informal explanation

8c Sample text: Formal explanation

8d Annotated formal explanation

Resources for day 7

9a Accident – formal explanation

9b Annotated formal explanation

9c Flow chart

9d Notes for car accident

Resources for day 8

10a Sample text: Volcano explanation

10b Annotated volcano explanation

Resources for day 9


11 Sample text: Earthquake explanation (opening)

Resources for day 10


Formal writing – objectivesYear 6 Term 2Text

Pupils should be taught:

17 to read and understand examples of official language and its characteristic features,

e.g. through discussing consumer information, legal documents, layouts, use of footnotes,

instructions, parentheses, headings, appendices and asterisks;

20 to discuss the way standard English varies in different contexts, e.g. why legal language

is necessarily highly formalised, why questionnaires must be specific.

Sentence


1 to investigate further the use of active and passive verbs:

• secure the use of the terms active and passive;

• know how sentences can be reordered by changing from one to the other;

• identify examples of active and passive verbs in texts;

• experiment in transformation from active to passive and vice versa and study

the impact of this on meaning;

• consider how the passive voice can conceal the agent of a sentence,

e.g. the chicks were kept in an incubator;

2 to understand features of formal official language through, e.g:

• collecting and analysing examples, discussing when and why they are used;

• noting the conventions of the language, e.g. use of the impersonal voice, imperative

verbs, formal vocabulary;

• collecting typical words and expressions, e.g. ‘those wishing to …’ ‘hereby...’

‘forms may be obtained…’;

4 to revise work on contracting sentences:

• summary;

• note making;

• editing.

Word


4 to revise and consolidate work from previous four terms with particular emphasis on:

• learning and inventing spelling rules;

• inventing and using mnemonics for irregular or difficult spellings;

• unstressed vowel spellings in polysyllabic words;

5 to extend work on word origins and derivations from previous term. Use personal reading,

a range of dictionaries and previous knowledge to investigate words with common prefixes,

suffixes, word roots.


6



7


Explanation – objectivesYear 6 Term 3Text


15 to secure understanding of the features of explanatory texts from Year 5 term 2;

17 to appraise a text quickly and effectively; to retrieve information from it; to find information

quickly and evaluate its value;

21 to divide whole texts into paragraphs, paying attention to the sequence of paragraphs

and to the links between one paragraph and the next, e.g. through the choice of appropriate

connectives;

22 to select the appropriate style and form to suit a specific purpose and audience,

drawing on knowledge of different non-fiction text types.

Sentence


1 to revise the language conventions and grammatical features of the different types

of text such as:

• narrative (e.g. stories and novels);

• recounts (e.g. anecdotes, accounts of observations, experiences);

• instructional texts (e.g. instructions and directions);

• reports (e.g. factual writing, description);

• explanatory texts (how and why);

• persuasive texts (e.g. opinions, promotional literature);

• discursive texts (e.g. balanced arguments);

3 to revise formal styles of writing:

• the impersonal voice;

• the use of the passive;

• management of complex sentences.

Word


1 to identify mis-spelt words in own writing; to keep individual lists (e.g. spelling logs);

to learn to spell them;

2 to use known spellings as a basis for spelling other words with similar patterns

or related meanings;

3 to use independent spelling strategies, including:

• building up spellings by syllabic parts, using known prefixes, suffixes and common

letter strings;

• applying knowledge of spelling rules and exceptions;

• building words from other known words, and from awareness of the meaning

or derivations of words;

• using dictionaries and IT spell-checks;

• using visual skills, e.g. recognising common letter strings and checking critical features

(i.e. does it look right, shape, length, etc.).

Unit plan: week 1


8


Day

1 2 3 4 5

Gui

ded

Ind

epen

den

t wo

rk

In p

airs

, com

ple

te c

omp

arat

ive

grid

(see

Res

ourc

e sh

eet 2

e) o

f the

two

invi

tatio

ns, u

sing

the

key

info

rmat

ion

as a

pro

mp

t to

thei

r sea

rche

s.

Ext

ensi

on a

ctiv

ity: f

orm

al /i

nfor

mal

com

par

ativ

e vo

cab

ular

y.

Dra

win

g on

yes

terd

ay’s

form

alin

vita

tion,

writ

e a

form

al in

vita

tion

to th

e ev

ent i

n R

esou

rce

shee

t 3.

Chi

ldre

n us

e th

eir n

otes

and

ye

ster

day

’s c

omp

arat

ive

grid

/list

s to

sup

por

t the

ir w

ork.

Dra

win

g on

the

driv

ing

licen

ce te

xt

as m

odel

, chi

ldre

n co

mp

lete

the

writ

ing

of th

e ex

pla

natio

n of

lib

rary

car

ds

and

thei

r use

. Enc

oura

ge th

em to

use

wha

tth

ey k

now

ab

out f

orm

al la

ngua

ge a

ndla

yout

. Ext

ensi

on a

ctiv

ity: a

dd

a fu

rthe

rse

ctio

n on

the

use

of th

e sc

hool

lib

rary

usin

g fo

rmal

lang

uage

.

Giv

e ou

t pho

toco

pie

s of

pas

spor

t tex

t.

In p

airs

, hig

hlig

ht a

ny te

chni

cal /

form

alw

ord

s an

d p

hras

es. D

ecid

e w

hat

sim

ple

wor

d o

r phr

ase

coul

d re

pla

ce it

.U

se th

is to

cre

ate

glos

sary

/dic

tiona

ryen

trie

s. R

ecor

d th

ese

in th

e vo

cab

ular

yp

ages

of s

pel

ling

logs

.

Usi

ng th

e sc

enar

io p

rovi

ded

(Res

ourc

esh

eet 7

), as

k ch

ildre

n to

writ

e th

eir o

wn

brie

f let

ter o

f com

pla

int.

Enc

oura

geth

em to

aim

to c

omp

lete

this

in 2

0m

inut

es. G

ive

a le

tter

tem

pla

te s

how

ing

the

layo

ut s

o th

ey c

once

ntra

te o

n th

eco

nten

t of b

ody

of th

e le

tter

, not

the

lett

er fo

rmat

.

Ple

nary

Take

som

e co

mp

arat

ives

. Ask

chi

ldre

nto

iden

tify

the

feat

ures

of a

form

alin

vita

tion

with

exa

mp

les.

Ret

urn

tofo

rmal

phr

ases

/ wor

ds

iden

tifie

d e

arlie

r.D

emon

stra

tion-

writ

e a

glos

sary

/dic

tiona

ryen

try.

Giv

e re

st o

f phr

ases

as

hom

ewor

k.

Sha

re e

xam

ple

s of

chi

ldre

n’s

wor

k an

d a

sk o

ther

s to

ass

ess

use

of

pre

cise

det

ails

, for

mal

phr

ases

and

voca

bul

ary,

whe

ther

key

info

rmat

ion

incl

uded

, lay

out.

Sha

re s

ome

exam

ple

s of

the

writ

ing

and

look

for i

mp

erso

nal /

form

alel

emen

ts/ t

ext s

truc

ture

. Id

entif

y th

ep

assi

ve s

ente

nce

in R

esou

rce

shee

t 4a

and

brie

fly re

cap

the

prin

cip

les

(see

Uni

t 48

GfW

). U

sing

exa

mp

les

from

the

child

ren’

s w

ritin

g, p

ract

ise

rem

ovin

g th

e ag

ent f

rom

sen

tenc

es(tu

rnin

g ac

tive

sent

ence

s to

pas

sive

).D

iscu

ss th

e im

pac

t thi

s ha

s on

th

e w

ritin

g.

List

wor

ds

and

phr

ases

chi

ldre

n ha

veun

der

lined

. Ask

chi

ldre

n to

offe

r the

irgl

ossa

ry/d

ictio

nary

ent

ries.

Dis

cuss

whi

ch is

bes

t and

why

.

Chi

ldre

n ro

le-p

lay

read

ing

thei

r let

ters

alou

d. O

ther

s co

mm

ent o

n th

eir

effe

ctiv

enes

s an

d u

se o

f for

mal

lang

uage

.

Sha

red

text

, sen

tenc

e an

d w

ord

leve

l

Dis

cuss

invi

tatio

ns a

nd th

eir p

urp

ose.

Wha

t do

they

nee

d to

tell

you?

List

key

info

rmat

ion.

Sha

red

read

ing,

dis

cuss

ion

and

par

tial a

nnot

atio

n of

info

rmal

invi

tatio

n (R

esou

rce

shee

t 2a)

and

form

al in

vita

tion

(Res

ourc

esh

eet 2

c). A

dd

any

furt

her s

ugge

stio

ns to

key

info

rmat

ion.

Dis

cuss

the

diff

eren

t im

pac

t of e

ach

invi

tatio

n. B

egin

a c

omp

arat

ive

list o

f fea

ture

s.N

ote

form

al p

hras

es a

nd v

ocab

ular

y to

retu

rn to

in p

lena

ry.

Sha

red

read

ing

of th

e ac

coun

t of a

bal

l (R

esou

rce

shee

t 3).

Enc

oura

gere

call,

infe

renc

e an

d d

educ

tion

to id

entif

y ke

y in

form

atio

n. N

ote-

take

ke

y fa

cts

on w

hite

boa

rds.

Sp

ellin

g: M

ake

link

bet

wee

n ac

com

pan

ied

in R

esou

rce

shee

t 3 a

nd c

omp

any

(from

‘req

uest

the

com

pan

y’).

Cre

ate

wor

d fa

mily

from

root

wor

d.

Dis

cuss

whe

n fo

rmal

writ

ten

lang

uage

is e

ncou

nter

ed a

nd w

hy o

ffici

ald

ocum

ents

are

writ

ten

in s

uch

a w

ay. S

hare

d re

adin

g of

Res

ourc

e sh

eet

4a. C

heck

und

erst

and

ing,

esp

ecia

lly fo

rmal

phr

ases

, voc

abul

ary.

Ann

otat

e an

d d

iscu

ss fo

rmal

feat

ures

and

layo

ut. N

ote

text

str

uctu

re

of in

trod

uctio

n (w

hat l

icen

ce fo

r, d

etai

led

des

crip

tion

of a

lice

nce.

See

Res

ourc

e sh

eet 4

b).

Mak

e p

oint

that

form

al la

ngua

ge o

ccur

s in

man

yd

iffer

ent k

ind

s of

text

s. S

pel

ling:

Cha

lleng

e ch

ildre

n to

iden

tify

the

tric

kyp

art o

f sp

ellin

g lic

ence

and

a w

ay to

rem

emb

er th

e co

rrec

t sp

ellin

g. S

how

exam

ple

of l

ocal

lib

rary

car

d a

nd d

iscu

ss w

hat i

t is

for,

who

is e

ntitl

ed to

one,

wha

t it c

onsi

sts

of, w

hen

it is

pro

duc

ed a

nd w

ho c

an a

sk to

see

it.

Und

erta

ke d

emon

stra

tion

or s

hare

d w

ritin

g of

intr

oduc

tion

to a

leaf

let o

nlib

rary

car

ds

(ent

itlem

ent t

o b

ooks

, tap

es, v

ideo

s, C

Ds)

bas

ed o

n m

odel

from

Res

ourc

e sh

eet 4

a. S

tres

s us

e of

form

al, i

mp

erso

nal l

angu

age,

gene

ric s

tate

men

ts a

nd la

yout

.

Rem

ind

the

clas

s of

offi

cial

text

they

read

yes

terd

ay a

nd g

et th

em to

re

cap

cha

ract

eris

tics.

Rea

d fu

rthe

r exa

mp

le o

f offi

cial

text

(Res

ourc

esh

eet 5

a). D

iscu

ss a

nd id

entif

y th

e fe

atur

es it

sha

res

with

oth

er fo

rmal

text

s st

udie

d (s

ee R

esou

rce

shee

t 5b

).S

pel

ling:

Writ

e co

unte

rsig

natu

re, c

ount

ersi

gnat

orie

s. Id

entif

y th

e ro

otw

ord

. Chi

ldre

n w

rite

othe

r wor

ds

with

the

sign

root

, inc

lud

ing

pre

fixes

an

d s

uffix

es. C

reat

e jo

int s

ign

wor

d c

hart

.

Com

par

e th

e tw

o le

tter

s of

com

pla

int (

Res

ourc

e sh

eets

6a

and

6c)

.D

iscu

ss w

hy th

e fo

rmal

lett

er is

mor

e ef

fect

ive.

Iden

tify

the

feat

ures

of

form

al w

ritte

n te

xt u

sed

. Poi

nt o

ut th

e in

trod

uctio

n: p

rob

lem

out

lined

,d

etai

ls, r

esul

t wan

ted

; str

uctu

re o

f the

par

agra

phs

(see

Res

ourc

e sh

eets

6b a

nd 6

d).

Ora

lly, t

urn

one

or tw

o se

nten

ces

from

Res

ourc

e sh

eet 6

a in

to p

assi

ve s

ente

nces

and

dis

cuss

imp

act.

Poi

nt o

ut th

at to

o m

any

pas

sive

sen

tenc

es c

an s

ound

pom

pou

s. In

trod

uce

the

ind

epen

den

t ta

sk b

y re

adin

g th

e sc

enar

io a

nd d

emon

stra

tion-

writ

e a

few

op

enin

gse

nten

ces.

Mod

el fo

rmal

tone

/use

of l

angu

age.


9


Unit plan: week 2D

ay

6 7 8 9 10

Gui

ded

Ind

epen

den

t wo

rk

Chi

ldre

n co

ntin

ue to

writ

e th

e fo

rmal

exp

lana

tion

to th

e he

adte

ache

r.E

ncou

rage

them

to in

clud

e fo

rmal

phr

ases

and

voc

abul

ary

and

to th

ink

abou

t the

str

uctu

re o

f the

exp

lana

tion.

Giv

e p

aral

lel n

otes

(Res

ourc

e sh

eet

9d) t

o gr

oup

s of

3. C

hild

ren

role

-pla

ygi

ving

thei

r exp

lana

tion

of th

e ac

cid

ent

to th

e p

olic

e co

nsta

ble

. The

n jo

intly

com

pos

e th

e op

enin

g of

a fo

rmal

acco

unt o

f the

inci

den

t whi

ch s

houl

din

clud

e a

pas

sive

sen

tenc

e.

Rem

ind

chi

ldre

n of

not

e ta

king

mod

elle

d y

este

rday

. Chi

ldre

n m

ake

note

s on

wha

t cau

ses

eart

hqua

kes.

Boo

ks o

n ea

rthq

uake

s, le

afle

ts, C

D-

RO

Ms,

Inte

rnet

ava

ilab

le fo

r res

earc

h.

Chi

ldre

n co

ntin

ue w

ritin

g th

e op

enin

gan

d n

ext f

ew p

arag

rap

hs, u

sing

the

par

agra

ph

list t

o gu

ide

them

.

Chi

ldre

n co

mp

lete

writ

ing

eart

hqua

keex

pla

natio

n te

xt.

Ple

nary

Sha

re R

esou

rce

shee

t 8c

with

them

as

one

pos

sib

le fo

rmal

lett

er. L

ook

at fo

rmal

feat

ures

, str

uctu

re a

ndse

que

nce,

how

end

ed, u

se o

f tem

por

alan

d c

ausa

l con

nect

ives

. How

is it

diff

eren

t fro

m th

e in

form

al v

ersi

on?

Ask

them

to s

hare

thei

r ow

n le

tter

s w

ith a

writ

ing

resp

onse

par

tner

and

dec

ide

if th

ey c

an im

pro

ve th

eir l

ette

rsin

the

light

of t

his

exam

ple

/dis

cuss

ion.

Sha

re w

ritte

n ve

rsio

ns a

nd c

omp

are.

Look

for f

orm

al fe

atur

es a

nd

pas

sive

voi

ce.

Sho

w s

ome

of c

hild

ren’

s no

tes

on O

HT

and

ask

them

to e

xpla

in th

e ra

tiona

leb

ehin

d h

ow th

ey h

ave

orga

nise

d th

eir

note

s. C

heck

they

ind

icat

e ca

usal

and

seq

uent

ial r

elat

ions

hip

s. Id

entif

y an

yte

chni

cal w

ord

s co

mm

on to

bot

hvo

lcan

oes

and

ear

thq

uake

s an

d re

cap

spel

ling

stra

tegi

es.

Ret

urn

to te

chni

cal w

ord

s d

iscu

ssed

on

Wed

nesd

ay a

nd s

ee w

ho c

an re

call

how

to s

pel

l the

m u

sing

sp

ellin

g st

rate

gies

dis

cuss

ed. A

sk th

em to

pro

ofre

ad th

ese

wor

ds

in th

eir o

wn

writ

ing.

Sha

re s

ome

exam

ple

s of

the

child

ren’

sw

ritin

g an

d a

sk th

em to

iden

tify

the

feat

ures

of e

xpla

natio

n te

xt a

nd fo

rmal

text

s th

ey d

isp

lay.

Sha

red

text

, sen

tenc

e an

d w

ord

leve

l

Sha

red

read

ing

of in

form

al e

xpla

natio

n (R

esou

rce

shee

t 8a)

. Dis

cuss

an

d e

nsur

e ch

ildre

n un

der

stan

d th

e ca

usal

, acc

umul

ativ

e se

que

nce.

Ask

whe

ther

it is

a fo

rmal

or i

nfor

mal

exp

lana

tion

and

how

they

kno

w.

Ann

otat

e in

form

al fe

atur

es. G

et th

em to

reca

p fe

atur

es o

f for

mal

lang

uage

. Not

e th

at e

ven

in th

is in

form

al e

xpla

natio

n th

e st

ruct

ure

is

of s

tate

men

t of w

hat i

s go

ing

to b

e ex

pla

ined

, fol

low

ed b

y se

que

nce

of e

vent

s w

ith c

ausa

l lin

ks. L

ook

at th

e co

mp

lex

sent

ence

‘The

n, w

hen

I tol

d h

im o

ff, m

y m

um…

’Try

mov

ing

sub

ord

inat

e cl

ause

aro

und

usi

ngw

hite

boa

rds.

Dis

cuss

pun

ctua

tion.

Dis

cuss

how

this

exp

lana

tion

mig

ht

be

writ

ten

if it

was

a fo

rmal

exp

lana

tion

to a

hea

dte

ache

r. W

hat w

ould

b

e th

e sa

me/

diff

eren

t? D

emon

stra

tion-

writ

e th

e op

enin

g p

arag

rap

h of

lett

erto

hea

dte

ache

r (R

esou

rce

shee

ts 8

c an

d 8

d).

Sha

red

read

ing

of s

choo

l acc

iden

t exp

lana

tion

(Res

ourc

e sh

eet 9

a).

Dis

cuss

str

uctu

re a

nd fo

rmal

feat

ures

. Ask

chi

ldre

n to

iden

tify

com

ple

xse

nten

ces

and

exp

erim

ent w

ith m

ovin

g cl

ause

s. D

iscu

ss h

ow c

omp

lex

sent

ence

s al

low

you

to a

dd

pre

cise

det

ail t

o a

sent

ence

and

why

this

isim

por

tant

in e

xpla

natio

ns. S

elec

t the

pas

sive

sen

tenc

e in

the

text

and

reca

p p

rinci

ple

s (G

fW U

nits

45/

48).

Dis

cuss

why

hea

dte

ache

r mig

ht h

ave

used

pas

sive

voi

ce h

ere

– no

age

nt, n

ot a

scrib

ing

bla

me

/neu

tral

. Sho

who

w th

is a

ccou

nt c

ould

be

writ

ten

as a

ser

ies

of n

otes

ont

o a

flow

cha

rt(R

esou

rce

shee

t 9c)

, whi

ch s

how

s th

e p

aral

lel s

erie

s of

eve

nts.

Rea

d te

xt o

n vo

lcan

oes

(Res

ourc

e sh

eet 1

0a).

Poi

nt o

ut th

at th

e p

revi

ous

two

exp

lana

tions

hav

e b

een

pas

t ten

se (a

s ex

pla

inin

g ev

ents

that

hav

eha

pp

ened

). W

hat t

ense

is th

is?

Why

? A

naly

se a

nd a

nnot

ate

stru

ctur

al

and

lang

uage

feat

ures

of e

xpla

natio

n. L

ist t

echn

ical

voc

abul

ary

and

ask

child

ren

to s

ugge

st s

trat

egie

s th

ey c

ould

use

to re

mem

ber

how

to s

pel

lth

ese

wor

ds.

Exp

lain

ind

epen

den

t tas

k an

d m

odel

how

to q

uick

ly a

sses

sa

boo

k fo

r its

use

fuln

ess.

Rer

ead

the

volc

ano

open

ing

par

agra

ph

(Res

ourc

e sh

eet 1

0a).

Dem

onst

ratio

n-w

rite

the

open

ing

sent

ence

s of

an

eart

hqua

keex

pla

natio

n, ta

king

con

tent

from

the

child

ren’

s no

tes

or u

sing

Res

ourc

esh

eet 1

1 as

a m

odel

. Tal

k ab

out f

orm

al a

nd te

chni

cal l

angu

age/

tens

e/us

eof

pas

sive

sen

tenc

es a

s yo

u co

mp

ose.

Dis

cuss

wha

t fol

low

ing

par

agra

phs

of t

he e

xpla

natio

n m

ight

con

tain

an

d p

rod

uce

a lis

t of p

arag

rap

hs.

Use

vol

cano

text

(Res

ourc

e sh

eet 1

0a) t

o d

iscu

ss th

e en

din

g of

exp

lana

tion

text

. Dra

w a

tten

tion

to th

e ‘d

ual’

end

ing,

i.e.

the

end

ing

of th

e ca

usal

/seq

uent

ial e

xpla

natio

n b

ut a

lso

som

e ge

nera

l com

men

ts

to ro

und

off

the

text

.C

reat

e w

ord

fam

ily fr

om e

rup

t(er

uptio

n, ru

ptu

re, d

isru

pt,

etc

.).

Resources


11


Lesson notes for day 1 Background

If possible have available examples of real invitations in a variety of forms and registers – from

formal to informal – for a range of events. Also have available for later in the week a collection

of official leaflets and pamphlets that pupils might encounter such as those in libraries, surgeries

and post offices.

Whole class

• Ask the class about their experiences of receiving invitations. After discussion, ask

what key information an invitation needs to tell you and why. Scribe suggestions.

• Make the point that invitations to the same event can be framed in different ways.

Show Resource sheet 2a on an OHT and read together.

• Using Resource sheet 2b, identify the key information as scribed on your list, annotating this

on Resource sheet 2a. Can they add any further key information from their reading

of Resource sheet 2a (e.g. dress code)?

• Show Resource sheet 2c on OHT. Read together and check children understand that

it is for the same event and gives the same information in a different way.

• Discuss how the invitations are different and the impact of each. Introduce the concept

of formal/informal.

• Using Resource sheet 2d, annotate the formal words, phrases and layout of Resource

sheet 2c.

• Model filling in an example of contrasting language used in Resource sheet 2a

and Resource sheet 2c on a comparative grid (see Resource sheet 2e).

Independent time

• Ask children to work in pairs to highlight key information on both invitations and complete

the comparative grid. They should first identify words and phrases relating to the key

information identified on the class list but can add anything further if they wish.

• As an extension activity they can write definitions for some of the formal words and phrases

identified or they could analyse other invitation texts if you have collected examples.

Plenary

• Use suggestions from the children’s work to complete more of the grid started in the shared

work. Then ask them to summarise some of the differences between formal and informal

texts (choice of vocabulary, contractions, slang words and colloquial phrases not used,

stock phrases, e.g. ‘request the pleasure of the company’, ‘RSVP’).

• Use demonstration-writing to model how to create a glossary entry for one of the stock

phrases, e.g. ‘coming of age’. Others can then be undertaken for homework.

Transcript day 1Put your hand up if you know what these are …… .Yes. Who’s received aninvitation of some kind? Tell us about it …… . OK, so lots of invitations, to lotsof different events. Now just talk to your partner for a minute and decide whatvital information does an invitation have to contain? What do you need to knowif the invitation is going to work properly? …… Let’s have some suggestions …… .Well, we’ve got quite a list here. What is it to? Who from? Who to? Where? When(date)? When (time)? What is being celebrated? …… Is it always a celebration?

Lesson notes and transcripts for days 1, 2, 6 and 7

…… OK, often but not always. Now we’re going to look at some invitations.Here’s the first one. Let’s read it together ……

Good. Do you think these people know each other well? …… Why do you thinkthat? …… Yes. It’s friendly isn’t it? They are related to each other. How do youknow? …… And yes, it’s got the word ‘favourite’. Does it answer all the questionson our list? Have a minute with your partner to check …… Yes, you’re right.All those and more information. What other information is there? …… It tells youwhat to wear and what’s going to happen. Why is it helpful to know there isgoing to be food? …… and dancing? …… and what to wear? …… Yes, that’s right.We call it the ‘dress code’. So the dress code for you at school is your uniform.It says what you can or cannot wear. Have you seen a dress code mentionedanywhere? …… Yes, some pubs say ‘No trainers’. Let’s add dress code, food,and events (e.g. dancing) to our list of key information.

Right. That’s one invitation. Let’s look at another invitation and read it together…… Well done. It sounds very different but what’s the connection between thesetwo? …… Yes, it’s the same event …… and the same people …… Yes, the sameinvitation but written in a very different way. How are they different? …… Yes,I suppose you could say ‘posher’. Can you explain what you mean? …… So giveme an example …… Joe and Joseph/Ellie and Eleanor. We say one is formal andthe other informal. That’s one of our objectives for this week. Looking at formallanguage and when we might use it or see it being used.

What’s the formal phrase in this invitation, that means we would like you tocome? …… Decide with your partner …… Come and underline it. Yes, ‘requeststhe pleasure of the company of’. That’s not something you say every day is it.I request the pleasure of your company to walk to school with me. Would yousay that? No, you’d say I’d like you to walk to school with me.

We’ll look at some more formal phrases and words in a minute but with yourpartner just check that this formal invitation contains all our key informationand does it add any more? …… Gives those and more – more details – the halladdress …… ‘RSVP’ …… What does that mean? …… Yes, it’s from the French‘Répondez s’il vous plaît’ – reply, if you please. Does the informal invitation askfor a reply? …… OK, underline it for me.

We’ll list these two examples under formal/informal and start a comparative chart…… Let’s do one more comparison …… Who is it to? And what’s the comparisonin how that is expressed? …… nicknames and …… full names. First name only and…… surnames. You’re going to carry on with this comparison in pairs in a fewminutes but we’ll just do one more thing together first.

With your partner I want you to identify all the words and phrases in this invitationthat you think are formal or posh as Sam called it …… Right, let’s underline them.Barry? …… Well we’ve got quite a few, haven’t we. You’re going to go off andwork on the comparative chart and you’ll match up some of these formal wordsand phrases with words and phrases in the informal invitation. That will help youwork out what they mean and we’ll check it out when we get back together.

Let’s just check you’re all clear what I want you to do with the chart I’m handingout? …… Fine, off you go.


12




13


Lesson notes for day 2Shared work

• Ask the children to recall the key information needed on an invitation and check against

the list created yesterday.

• Ask them to recall features of a formal invitation and some of the stock phrases.

• Undertake a shared read of the ball report (Resource sheet 3a).

• Ask the children to reread it bearing in mind the key information needed on an invitation.

• In pairs, ask them to record this key information in note form on whiteboards. Use the list

to structure their notes. Using Resource sheet 3b, check their boards.

• Select one or two pairs and ask them to explain how they have organised their notes

and why. An efficient way to do this would be to use the key information list but there

may be other suggestions.

• Explain independent task (to create the formal invitation for this event) using formal

words/phrases/layout.

• Take some of the homework, glossary definitions of formal phrases /words if this was

set as a homework task.

• Write the word accompanied (from Resource sheet 3a) and ask the children to identify

the prefix/suffix /root word. Remind them of company from Resource sheet 2c.

• Create the word family from the root word, stressing the linking meaning of together,

being with others.

Independent work

• Using their notes, the children write a formal invitation for the event. They must include

some of the stock phrases identified in Resource sheet 2c and must think about layout.

• An extension activity is to write an informal invitation for the same event.

Plenary

Share examples and assess against Resource sheet 2c to see if correct information is included,

formal language used and layout considered.

Transcript day 2Everyone settled? Fine. Now, who can remind me what we did yesterday? ……Great. You have remembered a lot. And how did that relate to our objectivesfor this week? …… That’s right, formal language. We’re going to carry on thinkingabout that all week and today we’re also going to create a word family to helpus with our spelling.

Let’s carry on thinking about invitations first of all. You’ve reminded me of thelist of key information that invitations include. Have any of you read accountsof parties or other celebrations in magazines or seen them on television? ……Yes, award parties …… your mum’s ‘OK’ magazine, Jubilee parties reported inlocal newspapers. Yes, that kind of thing. Well here’s an account of a big event.Let’s read it together ……

Good. Read it through again to yourself and give me a nod when you’ve gotto the end …… Excellent. I wonder what the invitation to that ball looked like.Any thoughts? Formal? Informal? …… Right. Why do you think that …… ?Anything else?……Thick card and gold printing …… That’s likely …… Yes, couldbe. Well lots of ideas. You sound as though you have a clear picture in your heads.


Now here’s our list of key information from yesterday. Can you read it through forme, Amyl? What we need to know from an invitation. …… Very good. What doesdress code mean? …… That’s right. Now I want you to work with a partner andmake notes from this account to gather all this key information on our list. Youmight have to think carefully and work some of it out as it isn’t always obvious.Reread the text if you don’t find the answer straightaway. Ask yourself if it’shidden in there. Remember notes – just the minimum amount you need. Nothingextra. You’ve a few minutes for this so go back to your desks and make the notesin your jottings book. Then we’ll get back together ……

Fine. I’m not going to go through it all – just a couple. OK, so how do you knowwhen it finished? It doesn’t tell you directly …… Brilliant, you worked it out fromthe four hours of dancing. Do you all see how Sally got that answer? What aboutfood? Was there anything to eat? How do you know? And finally what about dresscode? And your evidence for that? ……

Now in independent work you are going to use your notes and your work fromyesterday to write a formal invitation to this ball. You’ll have to include some of the formal words and phrases we looked at yesterday and which you thoughtabout for homework. Let’s quickly run through the homework ……

So you’re all set to write the formal invitation but just before you do that let’sspend a few minutes on our spelling objective. Have a look at this word from theaccount – ‘accompanied’. Can anyone mark off the prefix and suffix? …… So whatabout the ‘i’? Will the word still end in ‘i’? So if we take off the ‘ed’ it becomes ……Yes, it goes back to a ‘y’.

What word are we left with? – ‘company’. Remember that from yesterday? ……requests …… the pleasure of the ‘company’ …… So here’s our root word‘company’. What does it mean ? …… Being together, with other people …… Yes,it can be a business too, a group of people who work together …… Or a companyin the army, a certain number of soldiers. Any other words that have company ora bit of company in them? …… companion, accompanists, companiable, …..unaccompanied. What happened to the ‘y’? How does that change? Is there a rule? … compare (Yes, that’s about at least two things, isn’t it.) comparable, comparative.

Why do you think there is a double ‘c’ in ‘accompanied’? Well done, Len. Whichother word have you learned with the ‘ac’ prefix? Yes, ‘accommodation’ – manypeople get that word wrong.

Excellent. You’ve done very well. If any more crop up during the week we can addthem. Remember, this bit is the root. How many letter ‘c’, ‘m’ and ‘n’? What does itmean? See if you can remember these meaning links to help you with spelling.

OK, off you go now and do your invitations. Everyone clear about what they have to do? Think about the formal language and layout. Use your notes and anything from yesterday.


14




15


Lesson notes for day 6 Whole class

• Undertake shared reading of Resource sheet 8a. Ensure children can identify

causal relationships within the text and how the sequential series of events

is also a cumulative explanation.

• Discuss the informal language features within this text and annotate

(see Resource sheet 8b).

• Ask them to recall formal language features and relate to text being studied,

e.g. formal language – might use ‘difficult’ day rather than ‘bad’ day.

• Point out the explanation structure and annotate. Note how the use of paragraphs

relates to new stages in the explanation.

• Look at the complex sentence ‘Then, when I told him off, my mum…’. Ask children

to identify the subordinate clause and its punctuation.

• On whiteboards, ask the children to rewrite the sentence moving the subordinate clause.

• Show me. Get children to explain the punctuation of their new sentence.

• Discuss how this explanation might be written if it was a formal explanation

to a headteacher. What would be the same/different?

• Demonstration-write the opening paragraph of letter to heateacher (using Resource sheets

8c and 8d).

Independent time

• Ask the children to continue to write/complete the formal explanation to the headteacher.

• Encourage them to include formal phrases and vocabulary.

• Stress the use of logical and sequential structure of this explanation and how this

is reflected in the use of paragraphs.

Plenary

• Show Resource sheet 8c on the OHT, as one possible formal letter.

• Get them to identify formal features

– structure

– sequence

– how the explanation is ended

– use of temporal and causal connectives

– use of paragraphs

• Ask how this version is different from the informal version.

• Ask them to share their own letters with a writing response partner and decide if they

can improve their letters in the light of this example/discussion.

• If time, share some of the revisions they have made and reasons why.


Lesson notes for day 7Shared work

• Ask the children to read the school accident explanation (Resource sheet 9a).

• Discuss the text and ensure they understand the sequence of events and causal links.

Some of these are implied e.g. the slowing down of the bike/light injuries.

• Ask them if this is a formal explanation or an informal one. Ask them to identify formal

features (Resource sheet 9b) and annotate these.

• Ask them to identify the explanation structure and any language features of an explanation

text. Annotate these. Note: Some of this explanation is in the past tense as it is describing

an accident that has happened. The last two paragraphs relate to a process and are in

the present tense.

• Ask the children to identify some complex sentences. Discuss how these allow you

to add precise detail and why this is important in explanations.

• Ask them in pairs to move some of the clauses around, writing on their whiteboards.

Use ‘show me’ to check punctuation.

• Select the passive sentence The funnelling of the children… and recap how sentences

in the passive voice vary from those in the active voice.

• Discuss why the headteacher might have used the passive voice here (no agent, not

ascribing blame, avoiding responsibility).

• Show how this accident could be written as parallel notes of the series of events

(Resource sheet 9c) before giving out copies of Resource sheet 9d to groups of three.

• Quickly read Resource sheet 9d before setting children off on their independent work.

Independent work

• Two children take on the role of Driver A and Driver B. The third child is a police constable.

First they role-play explaining their actions to the police. Then they must collaborate

to write a formal report that will be submitted to the court, explaining the accident.

• An extension activity is to write an informal explanation for the same event.

Plenary

• Children role-play reading out their explanation to the court. Others assess for formality

and accuracy.


16


Lesson notes and transcriptsfor days 1, 2, 6 and 7

Resource sheet 5c

OHT for analysisResource sheet Resource sheet 2aInformal invitation: OHT


17


Phone 7659034 3 The AvenueWoodgreen

4.9.02

Dear Joe and Claire,

Just a quick note to say we are having a party nextmonth (on Saturday 12th) for Ysanne’s eighteenthbirthday. We mentioned it to you on holiday but this is just to confirm that it’s all going ahead. We hope you and the kids can all come, as we know she’d wanther Uncle Joe, Aunty Claire and her favourite cousins to be there. There’s going to be a mixture of familyand her friends, so it will be quite a big ‘do’. We’dbetter get saving!

We’ve hired the village hall and there’ll be a buffet and a disco. It’ll start at about 7.30ish. We thought itwould be fun to get really dressed up, so dig out yourbest outfits. They can be as posh as you like.

Can you let us know if all of you can make it? Weneed to let the caterers know how many there will be.

Love Ellie and Sam



18

Resource sheet 2bInformal invitation: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

n

Pho

ne 7

6590

343

The

Ave

nue

Woo

dgre

en

4.9.

02

Dea

r Jo

e an

d C

laire

,

Just

a q

uick

not

e to

say

we

are

havi

ng a

par

ty

next

mon

th (

on S

atu

rday

12t

h) fo

r Y

sann

e’s

eigh

teen

th b

irth

day.

We

men

tione

d it

to y

ou o

n

holid

ay b

ut th

is is

just

to c

onfir

m th

at i

t’s a

ll go

ing

ahea

d.W

e ho

pe y

ou a

nd th

e ki

ds c

an a

ll co

me,

as w

e kn

ow s

he’d

wan

t her

Unc

le J

oe,A

unty

Cla

ire

and

her

favo

urite

cou

sins

to b

e th

ere.

The

re’s

goin

g to

be

a m

ixtu

re o

ffa

mily

and

her

frie

nds,

so

it w

ill b

e qu

ite a

big

‘do’

.We’

d be

tter

get s

avin

g!

We’

ve h

ired

the

villa

ge h

all a

nd th

ere’

ll be

a b

uffe

t

and

a di

sco.

It’ll

star

t at a

bout

7.3

0ish

.We

thou

ght i

t wou

ld b

e fu

n to

get

rea

lly d

ress

ed u

p,

so d

ig o

ut y

our

best

out

fits.

The

y ca

n be

as

posh

as y

ou li

ke.

Can

you

let u

s kn

ow if

all o

fyo

u ca

n m

ake

it? W

e

need

to le

t the

ca

tere

rs k

now

how

man

y th

ere

will

be.

Love

Elli

e an

d S

am

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

Com

plex

sent

ence

s (gi

ving

reas

ons)

Vari

ety o

f pun

ctua

tion

in

clud

ing

apos

trop

hes f

or o

miss

ion

and

posse

ssion

Info

rmal

voc

abul

ary:

•Co

lloqu

ial p

hras

es•

Slan

g•

Pers

onal

gre

etin

g an

d si

gnat

ures

(n

ame

cont

ract

ions

)

Ope

ns w

ith

a •

dire

ct st

atem

ent o

f eve

nt(c

ruci

al to

und

erst

andi

ng w

hat f

ollo

ws)

Idea

s ord

ered

into

3 p

arag

raph

s•

invi

tati

on•

even

ts•

requ

est f

or re

spon

se

Refe

renc

es b

ack

to p

revi

ous p

arag

raph

s (i

nvit

e, b

uffe

t) g

ives

clo

sure

Follo

wed

by

•in

vita

tion

to it

•

reas

ons t

o at

tend

Ad

apta

tion

Info

rmal

lang

uage

, inc

lud

ing

cont

ract

ions

,

collo

qui

al la

ngua

ge/p

hras

es a

nd s

lang

,

all c

reat

e in

form

al e

ffect

.

Pre

dom

inan

ce o

f per

sona

l pro

noun

s

emp

hasi

ses

intim

acy.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Fam

iliar

, fam

ilial

tone

mai

ntai

ned

thro

ugho

ut.

Sty

le

Con

scio

us u

se o

f sla

ng p

hras

es a

nd ‘j

okey

’

com

men

t ap

pro

pria

te to

info

rmal

text

.


Resource sheet 5c

OHT for analysisResource sheet Resource sheet 5c

OHT for analysis

Mr Samuel Jones & Mrs Eleanor Jones

request the pleasure of the company of

Joseph & Claire Jones and family

at a coming of age party for their daughter Ysanne

on Saturday, 12th October 200219.30 – midnight.

Buffet supper and discotheque Formal Dress Woodgreen Village Hall RSVP by Sept. 28th Woodgreen Telephone 7659034

Resource sheet 2cFormal invitation: OHT


19



20

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

n

Mr

Sam

uel J

ones

& M

rs E

lean

or J

ones

requ

est t

he p

leas

ure

ofth

e co

mpa

ny o

f

Jose

ph &

Cla

ire J

ones

and

fam

ily

at a

com

ing

ofag

e pa

rty

for

thei

r da

ught

er

Ysa

nne

on S

atu

rday

12t

h O

ctob

er 2

002

19.3

0 –

mid

nigh

t.

Bu

ffet

su

pper

an

d d

isco

th

equ

e Fo

rma

l D

ress

Wood

gre

en V

illa

ge

Ha

ll

RSV

P b

y Se

pt. 2

8th

Wood

gre

en

Tel

eph

on

e 7

65

90

34

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

One

long

com

poun

d se

nten

ce

Wor

ds in

full

rath

er th

an in

col

loqu

ial t

erm

s

Titl

es a

nd fu

ll na

mes

/ su

rnam

es u

sed

Stoc

k fo

rmal

phr

ases

Form

al/l

egal

isti

c na

me

for t

he e

vent

Ope

ns w

ith

nam

es o

f hos

t and

gue

sts

befo

re st

atin

g ev

ent

Prec

ise

deta

ils g

iven

Use

of a

ccep

ted

acro

nym

Idea

s ord

ered

via

layo

ut ra

ther

th

an p

arag

raph

ing

Ad

apta

tion

Use

of l

angu

age,

incl

udin

g tit

les,

sto

ck p

hras

es,

crea

tes

form

al e

ffect

.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Dis

tant

form

al to

ne m

aint

aine

d th

roug

hout

.

Sty

le

Follo

ws

conv

entio

ns fu

lly.

Font

use

d fo

r em

pha

sis.

Resource sheet 2dFormal invitation: annotations

Resource sheet Resource sheet 2eComparative grid: OHT


21


Compare what it actually says in each invitation

Informal invitation Formal invitation

Who to?

Who from?

For what event?

When?



22

August 14th

Greenwood EchoGreenwood Town Hallwas thronged withpartygoers last night for the annual CharitySummer Ball. Localcelebrities mingled withthe guests as they dancedto the music of theSwingtime Jazz Quartetor the gentler rhythms of The Blue DanubeDance Band.

Following the champagnereception in the CouncilChamber at 7.30, guestsenjoyed wandering in the gardens before thedancing got under way at 9 o’clock. The host andhostess, Mr Alex and MrsJackie Allery, led off thedancing. Mrs Allery waslooking magnificent in afloor-length gown of redsilk whilst Mr Alex Allery

was sporting the CBE he was recently awardedin the New Year’s honourslist. Joining Mr and MrsAllery at their supper table were their invitedguests, Councillor ArunBhavara accompanied byhis wife Sunita, Dr BrianEdwards and Mrs JoyEdwards and Mr and MrsJoseph Jones.

The next four hours of non-stop dancing,fun and feasting wasenjoyed by all and thisyear’s ball was atremendous success.The raffle, with prizesgenerously donated by local businesses,raised £4000 for thecharity appeal.

Resource sheet 3Newspaper report: OHT


23


YOUR DRIVING LICENCE

This booklet contains general information about driving licences.A licence shows entitlement to drive:• motor cars,• motorcycles,• medium/ large vehicle (3500 kg or over),• minibuses, and • buses.However, each category must be applied for,and tested, separately.

1 PHOTOCARD DRIVING LICENCES

DVLA now only issues photocard driving licences.This is to ensure road safety by eliminating impersonation at driving tests and ensuring the person driving a vehicleis qualified to do so.

The licence comes in two parts:• a photocard; showing

– the driver’s photograph and signature which is electronicallycopied from the application form,

– categories of vehicles the driver is entitled to drive.• a paper counterpart; showing

– details of any endorsements,– in the case of a full licence holder, any provisional

entitlement held.

Note: You must produce both the photocard and counterpart ifrequested by the police or a court.You should also present both partswhen taking a driving test. You may find that other organisations suchas car hire firms and insurance companies will ask to see both parts.

Taken from leaflet D100 What you need to know about driving licences

Available from post offices

Resource sheet 4aDVLA leaflet extract: OHT



24

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nY

OU

R D

RIV

ING

LIC

EN

CE

Th

is b

oo

klet

co

nta

ins

gen

eral

info

rmat

ion

ab

ou

t d

rivi

ng

lice

nce

s.A

lice

nce

sh

ow

s en

titl

emen

t to

dri

ve:

•m

oto

r ca

rs,

•m

oto

rcyc

les,

•m

ediu

m/ l

arg

e ve

hic

le (3

500

kg o

r o

ver)

,•

min

ibu

ses,

and

•

bu

ses.

Ho

wev

er,e

ach

cat

ego

ry m

ust

be

app

lied

for,

and

test

ed,s

epar

atel

y.

1P

HO

TOC

AR

D D

RIV

ING

LIC

EN

CE

S

DV

LA n

ow o

nly

issu

es p

hoto

card

driv

ing

licen

ces.

Thi

sis

to e

nsur

e ro

ad s

afet

y by

elim

ina

ting

impe

rson

atio

n a

tdr

ivin

g te

sts

and

ensu

ring

the

pers

on d

rivin

g a

vehi

cle

is q

ualif

ied

to d

o so

.T

he li

cenc

e co

mes

in tw

o pa

rts:

•a

phot

ocar

d;sh

owin

g–

the

driv

er’s

pho

tog

raph

and

sig

natu

re w

hich

isel

ectr

onic

ally

cop

ied

from

the

appl

ica

tion

form

,–

cate

gorie

s of

vehi

cles

the

driv

er is

ent

itled

to d

rive.

•a

pape

r co

unte

rpar

t;sh

owin

g–

deta

ils o

fan

y en

dors

emen

ts,

–in

the

case

of

a fu

ll lic

ence

hol

der,

any

prov

isio

nal

entit

lem

ent h

eld.

No

te:Y

ou

mu

st p

rod

uce

bo

th th

e p

ho

toca

rd a

nd

co

un

terp

art i

fre

qu

este

d b

y th

e p

olic

e o

r a

cou

rt.

You

sh

ou

ld a

lso

pre

sen

t bo

th p

arts

wh

en ta

kin

g a

dri

vin

g te

st.Y

ou

may

fin

d th

at o

ther

org

anis

atio

ns,

such

as

car

hir

e fi

rms

and

insu

ran

ce c

om

pan

ies,

will

ask

to s

ee b

oth

par

ts.

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

Form

al fe

atur

es in

clud

ing:

•w

ords

in fu

ll fo

r cla

rity

•sp

ecifi

c de

tail

s•

use

of a

cron

yms

•fo

rmal

voc

abul

ary r

athe

r th

an e

very

day w

ords

•ge

neri

c pa

rtic

ipan

ts•

tech

nica

l voc

abul

ary

Use

of p

assi

ve v

oice

to g

ive

dist

ance

d fo

rmal

tone

Use

of m

odal

ver

bs to

indi

cate

mor

e te

ntat

ive

stat

emen

t

Com

plex

sent

ence

s to

add

spec

ific

deta

il

Ran

ge o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

lons

an

d se

mic

olon

s, bu

llet p

oint

s and

com

mas

Expl

anat

ion

stru

ctur

e•

Stat

es w

hat i

t is

•W

hy u

sed

•Gi

ves e

xten

ded

deta

il

Layo

ut u

sed

to in

dica

te te

xtua

l str

uctu

re

•H

eadi

ngs u

sed

for c

lari

ty•

Hea

ding

s div

ide

sect

ions

like

par

agra

phs

•Bu

llets

subd

ivid

e se

ctio

ns

Prin

t fea

ture

s use

d fo

r em

phas

is•

Upp

er c

ase

for h

eadi

ngs

•Bo

ld fo

r im

port

ant i

nfor

mat

ion

•Co

lour

for e

mph

asis

Ad

apta

tion

Form

ally

cre

ated

via

rang

e of

lang

uage

feat

ures

,

incl

udin

g te

chni

cal a

nd fo

rmal

voc

abul

ary.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Imp

erso

nal t

one

thro

ugho

ut. A

dd

ress

ed to

gene

ral r

ead

er a

nd in

volv

es g

ener

ic p

artic

ipan

ts.

Sty

le

Layo

ut e

mp

hasi

ses

offic

ial s

tatu

s.

Resource sheet 4bDVLA leaflet extract: annotations


25


Note 10 Countersignature

If the application requires countersigning, the applicationform must be completed before it is countersigned.

A countersignature is usually only needed if the applicationis for a first passport or to replace a lost, stolen or missingpassport. A countersignature may be needed if theapplication is for the renewal or extension of a passport and the appearance of the holder has changedconsiderably, for example if the passport was issued when they were a small child.

After the form has been completed in full, this section shouldbe completed and signed by a professional person, or aperson of standing in the community who has known you forat least two years, is resident in the UK, and holds a currentBritish passport. Examples of suitable countersignatoriesinclude Bank or Building Society Officials, Police Officers,established Civil Servants, Ministers of Religion, andpersons with professional qualifications (such as teachers,accountants, engineers, solicitors, etc). Further examplesare available on our website www.passport.gov.uk or fromthe Passport Adviceline on 0870 521 0410.

The countersignatory must hold a current Britishpassport, the number of which must be entered in the relevant space in Section 10.

Please note that a relative cannot countersign the application.From How to fill in your Passport Application form. P7

Resource sheet 5aPassport application: OHT


Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nN

ote

10

Co

un

ters

ign

atu

re

Ifth

e ap

plic

atio

n re

quire

s co

unte

rsig

ning

,the

app

lica

tion

form

mus

t be

com

plet

ed b

efor

e it

is c

ount

ersi

gned

.

A c

ount

ersi

gna

ture

is u

sual

ly o

nly

need

ed if

the

appl

ica

tion

is fo

r a

first

pas

spor

t or

to r

epla

ce a

lost

,sto

len

or m

issi

ng p

assp

ort.

A c

ount

ersi

gna

ture

may

be

need

ed

ifth

e ap

plic

atio

n is

for

the

rene

wal

or

exte

nsio

n of

a

pass

port

and

the

appe

aran

ce o

fth

e ho

lder

has

cha

nged

cons

ider

ably

,for

exa

mpl

e if

the

pass

port

was

issu

ed w

hen

they

wer

e a

smal

l chi

ld.

Afte

r th

e fo

rm h

as b

een

com

plet

ed in

full,

this

sec

tion

shou

ld b

e co

mpl

eted

and

sig

ned

by a

pro

fess

iona

l per

son,

or a

per

son

ofst

andi

ng in

the

com

mun

ity w

ho h

as k

now

n

you

for

at l

east

two

year

s,is

res

iden

t in

the

UK

,and

hol

ds

a cu

rren

t Brit

ish

pass

port

.Exa

mpl

es o

fsu

itabl

e

coun

ters

igna

torie

s in

clud

e B

ank

or B

uild

ing

Soc

iety

Off

icia

ls,P

olic

e O

ffic

ers,

esta

blis

hed

Civ

il S

erva

nts,

Min

iste

rs o

fR

elig

ion,

and

pers

ons

with

pro

fess

iona

l

qual

ifica

tions

(su

ch a

s te

ache

rs,a

ccou

ntan

ts,e

ngin

eers

,

solic

itors

,etc

).F

urth

er e

xam

ples

are

ava

ilabl

e on

our

web

site

ww

w.p

assp

ort.g

ov.u

k or

from

the

Pas

spor

t

Adv

icel

ine

on 0

870

521

0410

.

Th

e co

un

ters

ign

ato

ry m

ust

ho

ld a

cu

rren

t Bri

tish

pas

spo

rt,t

he

nu

mb

er o

fw

hic

h m

ust

be

ente

red

in

the

rele

van

t sp

ace

in S

ecti

on

10.

Ple

ase

note

tha

t a r

ela

tive

cann

ot c

ount

ersi

gn

the

appl

ica

tion.

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion


26

Use

of m

odal

ver

bs to

indi

cate

m

ore

tent

ativ

e st

atem

ent

Form

al fe

atur

es in

clud

ing:

•fo

rmal

voc

abul

ary r

athe

r tha

n ev

eryd

ay w

ords

•pr

ecise

voc

abul

ary w

ith

lega

l im

plic

atio

ns•

wor

ds in

full

for c

lari

ty•

spec

ific

deta

ils

•ge

neri

c pa

rtic

ipan

ts

Com

plex

sent

ence

to a

dd sp

ecifi

c de

tail

Ran

ge o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

mm

as in

list

Rhe

tori

cal u

se o

f ‘pl

ease

’Fo

rmal

stoc

k ph

rase

Cont

ent d

ivid

ed in

to p

arag

raph

s, ea

ch p

rese

ntin

g a

new

idea

Prin

t fea

ture

s use

d fo

r em

phas

is•

Hea

ding

s•

Bold

for i

mpo

rtan

t inf

orm

atio

n•

Colo

ur fo

r em

phas

is

Ad

apta

tion

Form

ally

cre

ated

via

rang

e of

lang

uage

feat

ures

,

incl

udin

g te

chni

cal a

nd fo

rmal

voc

abul

ary.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Imp

erso

nal t

one

thro

ugho

ut. A

dd

ress

ed to

gene

ral r

ead

er a

nd in

volv

es g

ener

ic p

artic

ipan

ts.

Sty

le

Layo

ut e

mp

hasi

ses

offic

ial s

tatu

s.

Expl

anat

ion

stru

ctur

e•

Expl

ains

whe

n si

gnat

ure

need

ed•

How

it sh

ould

be

done

•Gi

ves d

etai

ls

Resource sheet 5bPassport application: annotations

Resource sheet 5c

OHT for analysisResource sheet Resource sheet 6aInformal letter of complaint: OHT


27


3 The AvenueWoodgreen

7.10.02

Dear Customer Services,

Your train service is awful. I was really late for my plane so you should give me my money back.

We could have had more information. We didn’t reallyknow what was happening. You should have newertrains and then they wouldn’t break down. I was veryupset and I think you should do better.

My ticket is with this letter. Please send me a chequefor the fare.

Yours sincerelyJoe Jones


Resource sheet 6bInformal letter of complaint: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

n

3 T

he A

venu

e

Woo

dgre

en

7.10

.02

Dea

r C

usto

mer

Ser

vice

s,

Your

trai

n se

rvic

e is

aw

ful.

I was

rea

lly la

te fo

r

my

plan

e so

you

sho

uld

give

me

my

mon

ey b

ack.

We

coul

d ha

ve h

ad m

ore

info

rma

tion.

We

didn

’t

real

ly k

now

wha

t was

hap

peni

ng.Y

ou s

houl

d

have

new

er tr

ains

and

then

they

wou

ldn’

t bre

ak

dow

n.I w

as v

ery

upse

t and

I th

ink

you

shou

ld

do b

ette

r an

d gi

ve m

e m

y m

oney

bac

k.

My

ticke

t is

with

this

lette

r.P

leas

e se

nd m

e

a ch

eque

for

the

fare

.

Your

s si

ncer

ely,

Joe

Jone

s

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

Use

of s

impl

e ad

verb

and

adj

ecti

ve

Sim

ple

and

com

poun

d se

nten

ces s

o ca

usal

link

s no

t ful

ly d

evel

oped

Lack

of d

etai

l lea

ds to

am

bigu

ity

Info

rmal

con

trac

tion

Info

rmal

nam

e

Sim

ple

punc

tuat

ion

3 pa

ragr

aphs

•In

trod

ucti

on•

Dev

elop

men

t•

Requ

est f

or a

ctio

n bu

t not

dev

elop

ed

Ad

apta

tion

Info

rmal

lang

uage

, inc

lud

ing

cont

ract

ions

,

ever

yday

voc

abul

ary,

insu

lt.

Pre

dom

inan

ce o

f per

sona

l pro

noun

s

emp

hasi

ses

intim

acy.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Str

ong

per

sona

l res

pon

se m

aint

aine

d.

Sty

le

Und

erd

evel

oped

sty

le, l

acki

ng in

det

ails

that

wou

ld a

dd

con

vict

ion

to th

e co

mp

lain

t.

Lett

er n

ot se

t out

form

ally


28

Resource sheet 5c

OHT for analysisResource sheet Resource sheet 6cFormal letter of complaint: OHT


29


Customer Services 3 The AvenueCoastrail PLC WoodgreenWoodford 7.10.02WF3 2MT

Dear Sir or Madam,

On Friday 4 October 2002, I travelled on the 09.36 from Woodgreen to Gatwick. The train was due to arrive in Gatwick at 11.00 but was anhour and twenty minutes late on arrival due to the train’s engine failing.We had to wait for the arrival of another engine to push us into the nextstation, where we had to change onto another train.

As a consequence of this late arrival, I was late for my flight check-inand was only allowed onto the plane thanks to the cooperation of theairline staff. Needless to say I was made very distressed and anxiousby this failure of your service. The anxiety was made worse by the lackof information we were given by your train staff.

I understand that the engine that failed dates from the 1960s. In spite of maintenance programmes, such old rolling stock must be unreliable.I am very surprised that your company continues to use such oldequipment. I think it increases your responsibility for the delay.

I am enclosing my ticket for the journey. I expect a full refund of the fareand some monetary compensation for the inconvenience and anxiety I suffered as a result of your inadequate service. I shall expect yourcheque within fourteen days of this letter.

Yours faithfully

J. M. Jones



30

Resource sheet 6dFormal letter of complaint: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nTe

xt s

truc

ture

and

org

anis

atio

n

Com

plex

sent

ence

s to

add

spec

ific

deta

il

Form

al fe

atur

es in

clud

ing:

•sp

ecifi

c de

tail

s•

form

al v

ocab

ular

y rat

her

than

eve

ryda

y wor

ds•

voca

bula

ry w

ith

lega

l im

plic

atio

ns

Ran

ge o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

mm

as in

com

plex

sent

ence

s

Emph

atic

ver

bs g

ive

auth

orit

y

Form

al st

ock

phra

se

Para

grap

hs in

trod

uce

new

idea

s/in

form

atio

n•

Intr

oduc

tion

– d

etai

ls of

pro

blem

•Re

sult

of p

robl

em•

Stat

es v

iew

poin

t•

Stat

es a

ctio

n re

quir

ed

Cohe

sion

via

cau

sal l

inks

Refe

renc

es b

ack

•to

1st

par

agra

ph•

to 1

st a

nd 2

nd p

arag

raph

s

Ad

apta

tion

Use

of l

angu

age,

incl

udin

g tit

les,

sto

ck p

hras

es,

etc.

, cre

ates

form

al e

ffect

.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Form

al s

tanc

e m

aint

aine

d th

roug

hout

but

per

sona

l ton

e al

so e

vid

ent.

Sty

le

Follo

ws

form

al c

onve

ntio

ns.

Font

use

d fo

r em

pha

sis.

Lett

er se

t out

form

ally

, wit

h fo

rmal

op

enin

gs a

nd c

losu

res

Cus

tom

er S

ervi

ces

3 T

he A

venu

e

Coa

stra

il P

LCW

oodg

reen

Woo

dfor

d 7.

10.0

2

WF

3 2M

T

Dea

r S

ir or

Mad

am,

On

Frid

ay 4

Oct

ober

200

2,I t

rave

lled

on th

e 09

.36

from

Woo

dgre

en to

Ga

twic

k.T

he tr

ain

was

due

to a

rriv

e in

Ga

twic

k a

t 11.

00 b

ut w

as a

n ho

ur

and

twen

ty m

inut

es la

te o

n ar

rival

due

to th

e tr

ain’

s en

gine

faili

ng.W

e ha

d

to w

ait f

or th

e ar

rival

of

anot

her

engi

ne to

pus

h us

into

the

next

sta

tion,

whe

re w

e ha

d to

cha

nge

onto

ano

ther

trai

n.

As

a co

nseq

uenc

e of

this

late

arr

ival

,I w

as la

te fo

r m

y fli

ght c

heck

-in a

nd

was

onl

y al

low

ed o

nto

the

plan

e th

anks

to th

e co

oper

atio

n of

the

airl

ine

staf

f.

Nee

dles

s to

say

I w

as m

ade

very

dis

tres

sed

and

anxi

ous

by th

is fa

ilure

ofyo

ur s

ervi

ce.T

he a

nxie

ty w

as m

ade

wor

se b

y th

e la

ck o

fin

form

atio

n

we

wer

e gi

ven

by y

our

trai

n st

aff.

I und

erst

and

tha

t the

eng

ine

tha

t fai

led

date

s fr

om th

e 19

60s.

In s

pite

ofm

aint

enan

ce p

rog

ram

mes

,suc

h ol

d ro

lling

sto

ck m

ust b

e un

relia

ble.

I am

ver

y su

rpris

ed th

at y

our

com

pany

con

tinue

s to

use

suc

h ol

d eq

uipm

ent.

I thi

nk it

incr

ease

s yo

ur r

espo

nsib

ility

for

the

dela

y.

I am

enc

losi

ng m

y tic

ket f

or th

e jo

urne

y.I e

xpec

t a fu

ll re

fund

of

the

fare

and

som

e m

onet

ary

com

pens

atio

n fo

r th

e in

conv

enie

nce

and

anxi

ety

I suf

fere

d

as a

res

ult o

fyo

ur in

adeq

uate

ser

vice

.

I sha

ll ex

pect

you

r ch

eque

with

in fo

urte

en d

ays

ofth

is le

tter.

Your

s fa

ithfu

lly,

J.M

.Jon

es

Resource sheet Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003Formal and Explanations Unit

Resource sheet 7Complaint scenario: OHT


31


Something to complain about

You went out for a meal on Saturday lunchtime withthree friends, as a birthday treat. You wanted to go on your own with your friends. You have been to thecafé before with adults and have had a nice meal.

When you got there the waiter put you at a tabletucked in a tiny alcove, even though there were lots of empty tables. It was crowded with four people at it.They were very slow to serve you and you had to waita long time. When your meal arrived the chips wereburnt. The waiter must have known but did not sayanything. They did not offer you any sauces or breadalthough you noticed that they did give these to adultseating in the café. You did not have a pudding thereand left to get an ice cream elsewhere as you felt so unwelcome. You were not being silly or noisy.

You were very disappointed and upset and thoughtthey were only treating you that way because you were young people. When you got home yourmum suggested you should write to the owner and complain.



32

Resource sheet 8aInformal explanation: OHT

I’m in real trouble because I’m late for school again.Oh, it’s been a really bad morning – everything wentwrong. I’m fed up. My family are so irritating.

My greedy brother took all the cereal and ate itbefore we noticed. Then, when I told him off, my mum got cross with me for causing an argument in the morning. Was that fair or was that fair? I had to run to the corner shop to get some more as my mum said I had to eat something.

We would still have just been on time but then mystupid brother couldn’t find his reading book and we all had to rush round the house looking for it. It was under the settee ‘cos he drops everything on the floor.

So by then we were late already and then the carwouldn’t start. My mum got in a real strop andshouted at me again because I said I’d be late and Mr Jones had warned me that if I was late once more I’d be in big trouble. It’s not my fault.

Luckily our next-door neighbour offered us a lift but because we were later than usual the traffic wasawful. And he only dropped us at the end of the roadso we had to walk the last bit, which took an extrafive minutes.

My mum went with my brother to explain but she saidI was big enough to explain for myself. Is that fair oris that fair?


33


Resource sheet 8bInformal explanation: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nI’

m in

rea

l tro

uble

bec

ause

I’m

late

for

sch

ool a

gain

.O

h, it

’s be

en a

rea

lly b

ad m

orni

ng –

ever

ythi

ng w

ent

wron

g. I

’m f

ed u

p. M

y fa

mily

are

so

irri

tati

ng.

My

gree

dy b

roth

er t

ook

all t

he c

erea

l and

ate

it b

efor

ewe

not

iced

. The

n, w

hen

I to

ld h

im o

ff, m

y m

um g

otcr

oss

with

me

for

caus

ing

an a

rgum

ent

in t

he m

orni

ng.

Was

tha

t fa

ir o

r wa

s th

at f

air?

I h

ad t

o ru

n to

the

corn

er s

hop

to g

et s

ome

mor

e as

my

mum

sai

d I

had

to e

at s

omet

hing

.

We

woul

d st

ill h

ave

just

bee

n on

tim

e bu

t th

en m

yst

upid

bro

ther

cou

ldn’

t fi

nd h

is r

eadi

ng b

ook

and

we

all h

ad t

o ru

sh r

ound

the

hou

se lo

okin

g fo

r it

. It

was

unde

r th

e se

ttee

‘cos

he

drop

s ev

eryt

hing

on

the

floo

r.

So b

y th

en w

e we

re la

te a

lrea

dy a

nd t

hen

the

car

woul

dn’t

star

t. M

y m

um g

ot in

a r

eal s

trop

and

sho

uted

at m

e ag

ain

beca

use

I sa

id I

’d b

e la

te a

nd M

r Jo

nes

had

warn

ed m

e th

at if

I w

as la

te o

nce

mor

e I’

d be

inbi

gtr

oubl

e. I

t’s n

ot m

y fa

ult.

Luck

ily o

ur n

ext-

door

nei

ghbo

ur o

ffer

ed u

s a

lift

but

beca

use

we w

ere

late

r th

an u

sual

the

tra

ffic

was

awfu

l. A

nd h

e on

ly d

ropp

ed u

s at

the

end

of

the

road

so

we

had

to w

alk

the

last

bit

, whi

ch t

ook

an e

xtra

fi

ve m

inut

es.

My

mum

wen

t wi

th m

y br

othe

r to

exp

lain

to

his

teac

her

but

she

said

I w

as b

ig e

noug

h to

exp

lain

for

mys

elf.

Is

tha

t fa

ir o

r is

tha

t fa

ir?

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

Caus

al c

onne

ctiv

es

Com

plex

sent

ence

, add

s det

ail

Tem

pora

l con

nect

ives

Rhe

tori

cal q

uest

ion

Info

rmal

lang

uage

•Co

ntra

ctio

ns•

Slan

g•

Catc

hphr

ases

Vari

ety o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g:•

com

mas

mar

king

subo

rdin

ate

clau

ses

•da

sh•

ques

tion

mar

ks

Follo

wed

by s

peci

fic e

vent

s and

thei

r con

sequ

ence

sN

ew p

arag

raph

s use

d to

sign

al a

furt

her r

easo

n

Caus

al a

nd ti

me

links

bac

k to

pre

viou

s par

agra

phs

End

of c

ausa

l exp

lana

tion

Fina

l par

agra

ph ro

unds

off

text

Ad

apta

tion

Lang

uage

cho

ice,

cat

chp

hras

es, e

tc.

app

rop

riate

to in

form

al te

xt.

Pre

dom

inan

ce o

f per

sona

l pro

noun

s

emp

hasi

ses

intim

acy.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Con

sist

ent a

ttitu

de

and

tone

thro

ugho

ut –

not t

o b

lam

e, o

ther

s at

faul

t.

Sty

le

Use

of r

heto

rical

que

stio

n to

gai

n

sym

pat

hy/a

pp

eal t

o th

e re

ader

.

Intr

oduc

tion

sets

up

expl

anat

ion

and

give

s ge

nera

l rea

sons



34

Resource sheet 8cFormal explanation: OHT

Dear Mrs Elliot,

Mr Jones told me to write a letter to you explaining why I was late for school this morning. He has asked me to do this as I have been late five times this month.

I was late again this morning because several things wentwrong and each of them made me a little bit later. Eachproblem only caused a few minutes delay but altogetherthey caused me to be twenty minutes late.

Firstly, I was late eating my breakfast as we had run out of the only cereal I will eat. This meant I had to go to thecorner shop to get some more as my mother does not likeme to come to school without eating breakfast. She says it is not good for me to go without food until lunchtime.

We then had to find my brother’s reading book. This wasimportant as he needs to practise reading every day and so he must bring his book back to school. As my brother is untidy, I often have to help him find things he has lost.

Our car not starting caused the major loss of time. Wewould have been even later if we had had to walk but luckilywe got a lift most of the way. We did have to walk for the lastpart of the journey and so this added extra time. Also thetraffic was very busy and this made the journey a slow one.

I apologise for being late again. We will try to set the alarmclock for half an hour earlier as Mr Jones has suggested.

Yours sincerely,Sam Briggs


35


Resource sheet 8dFormal explanation: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nD

ear

Mrs

Elli

ot,

Mr

Jone

s to

ld m

e to

writ

e a

lette

r to

you

exp

lain

ing

why

I was

late

for

scho

ol th

is m

orni

ng.H

e ha

s as

ked

me

to

do th

is a

s I h

ave

been

late

five

tim

es th

is m

onth

.

I was

late

aga

in th

is m

orni

ng b

ecau

se s

ever

al th

ings

wen

t

wro

ng a

nd e

ach

ofth

em m

ade

me

a lit

tle b

it la

ter.

Eac

h

prob

lem

onl

y ca

used

a fe

w m

inut

es d

elay

but

alto

geth

er

they

cau

sed

me

to b

e tw

enty

min

utes

late

.

Firs

tly,I

was

late

ea

ting

my

brea

kfas

t as

we

had

run

out

ofth

e on

ly c

erea

l I w

ill e

at.

Thi

s m

eant

I ha

d to

go

to th

e

corn

er s

hop

to g

et s

ome

mor

e as

my

mot

her

does

not

like

me

to c

ome

to s

choo

l with

out e

atin

g br

eakf

ast.

She

say

s

it is

not

goo

d fo

r m

e to

go

with

out f

ood

until

lunc

htim

e.

We

then

had

to fi

nd m

y br

othe

r’s r

eadi

ng b

ook.

Thi

s w

as

impo

rtan

t as

he n

eeds

to p

ract

ise

read

ing

ever

y da

y an

d

so h

e m

ust b

ring

his

book

bac

k to

sch

ool.

As

my

brot

her

is u

ntid

y,I o

ften

have

to h

elp

him

find

thin

gs h

e ha

s lo

st.

The

maj

or lo

ss o

ftim

e w

as c

ause

d by

our

car

not

sta

rtin

g.

We

wou

ld h

ave

been

eve

n la

ter

ifw

e ha

d ha

d to

wal

k bu

t

luck

ily w

e go

t a li

ft m

ost o

fth

e w

ay.W

e di

d ha

ve to

wal

k

for

the

last

par

t of

the

jour

ney

and

so th

is a

dded

ext

ra

time.

Als

o th

e tr

affic

was

ver

y bu

sy a

nd th

is m

ade

the

jour

ney

a sl

ow o

ne.

I apo

logi

se fo

r be

ing

late

aga

in.W

e w

ill tr

y to

set

the

alar

m

cloc

k fo

r ha

lfan

hou

r ea

rlie

r as

Mr

Jone

s ha

s su

gges

ted.

Your

s si

ncer

ely,

Sam

Brig

gs

Text

str

uctu

re a

nd o

rgan

isat

ion

Caus

al c

onne

ctiv

es

Com

plex

sent

ence

, add

s det

ail

Tem

pora

l con

nect

ives

Passi

ve se

nten

ce

Form

al la

ngua

ge•

Titl

e an

d su

rnam

e•

Voca

bula

ry c

hoic

e

Vari

ety o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

mm

as m

arki

ngsu

bord

inat

e cl

ause

s, po

ssessi

ve a

post

roph

e

Gene

ral e

xpla

nati

on

New

par

agra

phs u

sed

for s

peci

fic e

vent

s an

d th

eir c

onse

quen

ces

End

of c

ausa

l exp

lana

tion

Fina

l par

agra

ph ro

unds

off

text

and

refe

rs b

ack

toop

enin

g pa

ragr

aph

Ad

apta

tion

Lang

uage

cho

ice,

lett

er s

tyle

ap

pro

pria

te

to fo

rmal

text

.

Ap

pea

l to

head

teac

her t

hrou

gh s

tres

sing

imp

orta

nce

of re

adin

g.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Con

sist

ent a

ttitu

de

and

tone

thro

ugho

ut.

Sty

le

Wel

l str

uctu

red

into

par

apgr

aphs

.

Coh

esio

n m

aint

aine

d th

roug

h us

e of

cau

sal

and

tech

nica

l lin

ks.

Intr

oduc

tion

sets

up

expl

anat

ion



36

Resource sheet 9aFormal explanation: OHT

The accident took place at 8.45 outside PetersonPrimary School and involved a child (A) riding a biketo school, in collision with a child (B) entering theinfant school. No serious injuries were caused butChild B sustained a grazed knee and Child A scrapedhis arm. Injuries were dealt with within the schoolmedical room and no further treatment was required.The bike suffered minor scratching to the paintwork.

Causes of the accident as determined byheadteacher’s investigation.

The accident appears to have been caused by:• inattention from Child A;• unexpected movement by Child B;• many children entering the school site via

one gateway;• no marked separation of cyclists and pedestrians.

At 08.40 Child B arrived at the school gateaccompanied by her mother. The pair did not enter the gate, but stopped on the pavement outside theschool to talk to a neighbour. The mother was holdingChild B’s hand but after a few minutes let go of it.Child B saw a classmate in the school playgroundand, without warning, ran through the gate headingdiagonally towards the playground.


37


Resource sheet Formal explanation: OHT (continued)

Child A had left home at 8.40 to cycle to school as usual. As he approached the gate he passed a group of friends and slowed down. Turning into the school gate, he twisted his head to shout back to these friends and so was not aware of the childrunning in front of him. The resulting collisionknocked Child B over. Child A fell off his bike as a result of an abrupt stop caused by applying hisbrakes hard. He fell to one side thus scraping his rightarm. Fortunately he was wearing a cycle helmet andso suffered no head injuries.

The funnelling of all children into one entry pointcauses some crowding. This is potentially dangerousand the possibility of further entry points should be explored.

There is no clear distinction between road andpavement at the school entrance and so it is likely that cycles and pedestrians will use the same space.Clear cycle paths should be demarcated or cyclesshould be rerouted into the vehicle entrance to the school.



38

Resource sheet 9bFormal explanation: annotations

Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nTe

xt s

truc

ture

and

org

anis

atio

nT

he a

ccid

ent t

ook

plac

e at

8.4

5 ou

tsid

e P

eter

son

Prim

ary

Sch

ool a

nd in

volv

ed

a ch

ild (A

) rid

ing

a bi

ke to

sch

ool,

in c

ollis

ion

with

a c

hild

(B) e

nter

ing

the

infa

nt

scho

ol.N

o se

rious

inju

ries

wer

e ca

used

but

Chi

ld B

sus

tain

ed a

gra

zed

knee

and

Chi

ld A

scr

aped

his

arm

.Inj

urie

s w

ere

deal

t with

with

in th

e sc

hool

med

ical

roo

m

and

no fu

rthe

r tre

atm

ent w

as r

equi

red.

The

bik

e su

ffer

ed m

inor

scr

atch

ing

to

the

pain

twor

k.

Cau

ses

ofth

e ac

cide

nt a

s de

term

ined

by

head

teac

her’s

inve

stig

atio

n.

The

acc

iden

t app

ears

to h

ave

been

cau

sed

by:

•in

atte

ntio

n fr

om C

hild

A;

•un

expe

cted

mov

emen

t by

Chi

ld B

;

•m

any

child

ren

ente

ring

the

scho

ol s

ite v

ia o

ne g

ate

way

;

•no

mar

ked

sepa

ratio

n of

cycl

ists

and

ped

estr

ians

.

At 0

8.40

Chi

ld B

arr

ived

at t

he s

choo

l ga

te a

ccom

pani

ed b

y he

r m

othe

r.T

he p

air

did

not e

nter

the

gate

,but

sto

pped

on

the

pave

men

t out

side

the

scho

ol to

talk

to a

nei

ghbo

ur.T

he m

othe

r w

as h

oldi

ng C

hild

B’s

han

d bu

t afte

r a

few

min

utes

let g

o of

it.C

hild

B s

aw a

cla

ssm

ate

in th

e sc

hool

pla

ygro

und

and

with

out w

arni

ng

ran

thro

ugh

the

gate

,hea

ding

dia

gona

lly to

war

ds th

e pl

ayg

roun

d.

Chi

ld A

had

left

hom

e a

t 8.4

0 to

cyc

le to

sch

ool a

s us

ual.

As

he a

ppro

ache

d

the

gate

he

pass

ed a

gro

up o

ffr

iend

s an

d sl

owed

dow

n.Tu

rnin

g in

to th

e sc

hool

gate

,he

twis

ted

his

head

to s

hout

bac

k to

thes

e fr

iend

s an

d so

was

not

aw

are

of

the

child

run

ning

in fr

ont o

fhi

m.T

he r

esul

ting

colli

sion

kno

cked

Chi

ld B

ove

r.C

hild

A fe

ll of

fhi

s bi

ke a

s a

resu

lt of

an a

brup

t sto

p ca

used

by

appl

ying

his

bra

kes

hard

.

He

fell

to o

ne s

ide

thus

scr

apin

g hi

s rig

ht a

rm.F

ortu

nate

ly h

e w

as w

earin

g a

cycl

e

helm

et a

nd s

o su

ffer

ed n

o he

ad in

jurie

s.

The

chi

ldre

n ar

e fu

nnel

led

into

one

ent

ry p

oint

and

this

cau

ses

som

e cr

owdi

ng.

Thi

s is

pot

entia

lly d

ange

rous

and

the

poss

ibili

ty o

ffu

rthe

r en

try

poin

ts s

houl

d

be e

xplo

red.

The

re is

no

clea

r di

stin

ctio

n be

twee

n ro

ad a

nd p

avem

ent a

t the

sch

ool e

ntra

nce

and

so it

is li

kely

tha

t cyc

les

and

pede

stria

ns w

ill u

se th

e sa

me

spac

e.C

lear

cyc

le

path

s sh

ould

be

dem

arca

ted

or c

ycle

s sh

ould

be

rero

uted

into

the

vehi

cle

entr

ance

to th

e sc

hool

.

Caus

al c

onne

ctiv

es

Com

plex

sent

ence

, add

s det

ail

Tem

pora

l con

nect

ives

Passi

ve se

nten

ce

Form

al la

ngua

ge•

Ano

nym

ous a

gent

s•

Voca

bula

ry c

hoic

e

Vari

ety o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

lon

and

sem

icol

ons,

com

mas

m

arki

ng su

bord

inat

e cl

ause

s, po

ssessi

veap

ostr

ophe

Titl

e se

ts u

p ex

plan

atio

nPa

ra 1

Sum

mar

y exp

lana

tion

, pro

vide

s out

line

for w

hat f

ollw

s

New

par

agra

phs u

sed

for s

peci

fic e

vent

san

d th

eir c

onse

quen

ces

Fina

l 2 p

arag

raph

s rou

nd o

ff ex

plan

atio

nby

mov

ing

from

spec

ific

inci

dent

to w

ider

prob

lem

s. Re

com

men

dati

ons g

ive

som

ese

nse

of c

losu

re

Ad

apta

tion

Lang

uage

cho

ice,

lett

er s

tyle

ap

pro

pria

te

to fo

rmal

text

.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Dis

tanc

ed im

per

sona

l vie

wp

oint

mai

ntai

ned

thro

ugho

ut (a

lthou

gh fo

rtun

atel

y im

plie

s so

me

emot

iona

l eng

agem

ent).

Sty

le

Wel

l str

uctu

red

into

par

agra

phs

. Coh

esio

n

mai

ntai

ned

thro

ugh

use

of c

ausa

l and

tech

nica

l

links

bet

wee

n st

ruct

ured

and

bul

lete

d li

st.

Intr

oduc

tion

con

text

uali

ses

the

expl

anat

ion


39


Resource sheet 9cFlow chart: OHT

Notes of the accident at Peterson Primary School

COLLISION

Child A

Arrives at school gate with mother

Stands at gate holdingmother’s hand

Lets go of mother’s hand

Sees friend and runsthrough gate

Child B

Leaves home to cycle to school

Sees friend asapproaches school gate

Slows down

Turns head to greet friendas turns into school gate

CAR A CAR B



40

Resource sheet 9dCar accident notes: OHT

Tuesday 20th

08.55 Driver A notes carwindows iced up because of frost. Scrapes them but not completely clear

09.05 Leaves home. 5 minslate so drives quickly but roadusually very quiet until meetsmain road

09.08 Road curves. Driver A is dazzled by low sun.Sun low in the sky because it is winter

09.09 Bumps into stationarycar in middle of the road

Monday 19th

23.00 Driver B arrives home tired from long car journey. Petrol stationshut so decides to fill up in morningrather than drive to 24-hour garage

Tuesday 20th

08.45 Sets off from home. Listening to radio. Does not notice petrol gaugealmost on empty

08.55 Stuck in traffic jam.Engine idling

09.05 Car judders and splutters.Notices petrol gauge. Knows there is a garage nearby. Turns off mainroad into quiet side road

09.06 Car comes to a stop in middleof quiet road. Out of petrol

09.07 Gets out of car and phones for help from mobile. Does not puthazard flashers on

09.09 A car comes round the bend and clips the back ofthe stopped car


41


What causes volcanoes?

A volcano is created at any place on a planet’s surface where some material from the inside of the planet makes its way up to the planet’s surface in the form of an eruption. A volcanic eruption iscaused by several factors: the structure of the Earth,the movements of the Earth’s crust, the viscosityand gas-content of magma within the Earth, and the build-up of gas pressure.

The structure of the Earth is significant because the different parts of the planet are of differentthicknesses and subject to different pressures.The Earth is made up of three main layers: the core, the mantle and the outer crust.

The outer crust is rigid and is 5 to 10 km thick underthe oceans and 32 to 70 km thick under the land.Compared to the rest of the planet, this crust is verythin – like the outer skin on an apple. This means it is relatively fragile.

Directly under the outer crust is the mantle, the largestlayer of the Earth. The mantle is extremely hot, but formost of the time it stays in a solid form. In certaincircumstances, however, the mantle material melts,forming magma that makes its way through the outercrust. Magma is fluid, molten rock. It is partly liquid,partly solid and partly gaseous. Depending on the

Resource sheet 10aVolcanoes: OHT



42

Resource sheet 10aVolcanoes: OHT (continued)

combination of these three elements, magma can beunder a great deal of gas pressure. As the pressurebuilds up, this results in the magma being forced outthrough the core.

Different combinations of pressure and viscosity inthe magma cause different types of eruptions. If theviscosity and the gas pressure are low, lava will flowslowly onto the Earth’s surface when the volcanoerupts, with minimal explosion. However, if thereis a lot of pressure, this will cause an eruption withan explosive launch of material into the air.

As it will take millions of years for the Earth’s structure to change, earthquakes will continue tohappen. Scientists can now predict when volcanoesmight erupt but there is still nothing we can do to stopthem happening.


43


Sen

tenc

e st

ruct

ure

and

pun

ctua

tio

nTe

xt s

truc

ture

and

org

anis

atio

n

Resource sheet 10bVolcanoes: annotations

Wh

at c

ause

s vo

lcan

oes

?

A v

olca

no is

cre

ate

d a

t any

pla

ce o

n a

plan

et’s

sur

face

whe

re s

ome

ma

teria

l fro

m

the

insi

de o

fth

e pl

anet

mak

es it

s w

ay u

p to

the

plan

et’s

sur

face

in th

e fo

rm o

fan

erup

tion.

A v

olca

nic

erup

tion

is c

ause

d by

sev

eral

fact

ors:

the

stru

ctur

e of

the

Ear

th,

the

mov

emen

ts o

fth

e E

arth

’s c

rust

,the

vis

cosi

ty a

nd g

as-c

onte

nt o

fm

agm

a w

ithin

the

Ear

th,a

nd th

e bu

ild-u

p of

gas

pres

sure

.

The

str

uctu

re o

fth

e E

arth

is s

igni

fican

t bec

ause

the

diff

eren

t par

ts o

fth

e pl

anet

are

ofdi

ffer

ent t

hick

ness

es a

nd s

ubje

ct to

diff

eren

t pre

ssur

es.T

he E

arth

is m

ade

up o

fth

ree

mai

n la

yers

:the

cor

e,th

e m

antle

and

the

oute

r cr

ust.

The

out

er c

rust

is r

igid

and

is 5

to 1

0 km

thic

k un

der

the

ocea

ns a

nd 3

2 to

70

km

thic

k un

der

the

land

.Com

pare

d to

the

rest

of

the

plan

et,t

his

crus

t is

very

thin

–

like

the

oute

r sk

in o

n an

app

le.T

his

mea

ns it

is r

ela

tivel

y fr

agile

.

Dire

ctly

und

er th

e ou

ter

crus

t is

the

man

tle,t

he la

rges

t lay

er o

fth

e E

arth

.

The

man

tle is

ext

rem

ely

hot,

but f

or m

ost o

fth

e tim

e it

stay

s in

a s

olid

form

.

In c

erta

in c

ircum

stan

ces,

how

ever

,the

man

tle m

ate

rial m

elts

,for

min

g m

agm

a

tha

t mak

es it

s w

ay th

roug

h th

e ou

ter

crus

t.M

agm

a is

flui

d,m

olte

n ro

ck.I

t is

part

ly

liqui

d,pa

rtly

sol

id a

nd p

artly

gas

eous

.Dep

endi

ng o

n th

e co

mbi

natio

n of

thes

e th

ree

elem

ents

,mag

ma

can

be u

nder

a g

rea

t dea

l of

gas

pres

sure

.As

the

pres

sure

bui

lds

up,t

his

resu

lts in

the

mag

ma

bein

g fo

rced

out

thro

ugh

the

core

.

Diff

eren

t com

bina

tions

of

pres

sure

and

vis

cosi

ty in

the

mag

ma

caus

e di

ffer

ent t

ypes

ofer

uptio

ns.I

fth

e vi

scos

ity a

nd th

e ga

s pr

essu

re a

re lo

w,l

ava

will

flow

slo

wly

ont

o

the

Ear

th’s

sur

face

whe

n th

e vo

lcan

o er

upts

,with

min

imal

exp

losi

on.H

owev

er,i

f

ther

e is

a lo

t of

pres

sure

,thi

s w

ill c

ause

an

erup

tion

with

an

expl

osiv

e la

unch

of

ma

teria

l int

o th

e ai

r.

As

it w

ill ta

ke m

illio

ns o

fye

ars

for

the

Ear

th’s

str

uctu

re to

cha

nge,

eart

hqua

kes

will

con

tinue

to h

appe

n.S

cien

tists

can

now

pre

dict

whe

n vo

lcan

oes

mig

ht e

rupt

but t

here

is s

till n

othi

ng w

e ca

n do

to s

top

this

hap

peni

ng.

Caus

al c

onne

ctiv

es

Spec

ific

deta

ils

Com

plex

sent

ence

, add

s det

ail

Gene

ric,

not

spec

ific

Form

al la

ngua

ge•

Voca

bula

ry c

hoic

e•

Tech

nica

l ter

ms

Vari

ety o

f pun

ctua

tion

incl

udin

g co

mm

as m

arki

ng su

bord

inat

e cl

ause

s, co

mm

as in

list

, pos

sessi

veap

ostr

ophe

, col

on

Para

1Ex

plai

ns w

hat a

vol

cano

is, t

hen

sum

mar

y exp

lana

tion

of c

ause

s pr

ovid

es o

utlin

e fo

r wha

t fol

low

s

New

par

agra

phs u

sed

to e

labo

rate

on

spec

ific

fact

ors

Elab

orat

es o

n in

form

atio

n in

pre

cedi

ng p

arag

raph

Fina

l par

agra

ph ro

unds

off

expl

anat

ion

by a

ddin

g so

me

gene

ral r

emar

ks

Ad

apta

tion

Use

of t

echn

ical

term

s, fo

rmal

voc

abul

ary

and

phr

ases

, sp

ecifi

c d

etai

ls.

Co

mp

osi

tio

n an

d e

ffec

t

Vie

wp

oin

t

Imp

erso

nal,

form

al to

ne m

aint

aine

d th

roug

hout

.

Sty

le

Som

e at

tem

pts

to m

ake

acce

ssib

le to

non

-

scie

ntifi

c re

ader

thro

ugh

use

of a

nalo

gy (a

pp

le).

Titl

e se

ts u

p ex

plan

atio

n



44

Resource sheet 11Earthquakes (opening): OHT

What causes an earthquake?

An earthquake is a vibration that travels through the Earth’s crust. If buildings shake as a heavy trucktravels down a street it is, technically, a mini-earthquake. However, it would not measure veryhighly on the Richter scale (the scale used to measureearthquakes). Earthquakes are caused by manythings such as:• meteor impacts • volcanic eruptions• underground explosions (an underground nuclear

test, for example) • collapsing structures (such as a collapsing mine).

The majority of naturally occurring earthquakeshowever are caused by movements of the earth’s plates.

Formal and Explanation Writing Unit

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