Forgiveness

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC

ForgivenessA Giant Step on the Path

of Healing

By Randy Janzen L.C.S.W.

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1What is Forgiveness... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3Obstacles to Forgiveness.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5. Quantum.Techniques.Healing.Code.for.Obstacles.to.Forgiveness... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7The Consequences of Not Forgiving.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8Who to Forgive... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12. Self.Forgiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14. Quantum.Techniques.Healing.Code.for.Who.to.Forgive. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16Apology .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17How to Forgive .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18. Dissolving.Resentment .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18. Choosing.to.Forgive. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.. Healing.Vision.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.. Forgiving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20. Releasing.Judgments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20. Forgiving.Yourself.and.Another . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20. Prayers.of.Forgiveness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21. Thoughts.of.Forgiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22. Retrieving.Your.Spirit.From.Yesterday.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22. Forgiving.Yourself.and.Another . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22. Personal.Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22. PERT.–.Positive.Emotional.Refocusing.Technique.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23. Emptying.Your.Mind.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23. Gaining.Perspective .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24. Inner.Child.Healing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24. Prayer.for.Releasing.Judgments .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25. Forgiving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25. Mercy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25. Offering.Forgiveness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26. Healing.Visualization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26. Releasing.Grudges . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26. Changing.Beliefs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27. Compassion.Visualization.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27. Forgiveness.Affirmation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27. Quantum.Techniques.Healing.Code.for.Forgiveness.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27Beyond Forgiveness.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28. Quantum.Techniques.Healing.Code.for.Gratitude.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30References and Further Reading .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

*A.note.about.the.codes.used.throughout.this.material ..These.are.Quantum.Techniques.Healing.Codes,.created.by.Stephen.and.Beth.Daniel.to.assist.you.to.anchor.the.material.and.release.any.resistance.that.may.arise ..Simply.read.the.codes.at.the.points.that.they.are.offered ..If.you.are.not.familiar.with.using.these.healing.codes,.you.can.request.a.client.manual.from.Quantum.Techniques.that.will.instruct.you.on.how.to.use.them .

Table of Contents

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Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC �

. ...And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.................................................................. .The Lord’s Prayer

...Forgiveness,.with.love.as.its.companion,.is.rooted.in.our.deepest.spiritual.beliefs.and.dreams.of.a.world.united.in.peace ..It.rests.in.the.promise.of.a.divine.love.that.is.unconditional.and.will.pardon.our.sins ..Forgiveness ..The.word.is.soft.and.yielding,.and.yet.it.contains.a.power.reserved.for.mystical.healing.and.the.making.of.miracles ..It.is.also.a.practical.choice.for.anyone.who.wishes.to.be.free.of.the.past.and.hopes.for.a.brighter.future ..I.invite.you.to.explore.the.many.aspects.of.forgiveness.along.with.numerous.techniques,.should.you.choose.to.forgive ..The.sources.for.this.material.are.many.and.varied ..Some.come.from.lessons.learned.during.more.than.twenty-five.years.of.working.with.people,.the.original.sources.long.since.forgotten ..Others.are.from.writings.that.are.referenced.throughout.the.material.and.at.the.end,.in.a.section.of.recommended.readings

There.is.much.written.about.forgiveness.both.as.a.subject.all.its.own.and.as.an.important.piece.of.other.processes ..For.some,.forgiveness.is.a.moral.obligation,.a.directive.from.God;.for.others,.it.is.simply.part.of.being.a.decent.person ..The.desire.to.be.free.of.the.imprisoning.pain.of.the.past.motivates.many.to.forgive ..In.Inner Peace for Busy People,.Joan.Borysenko,.Ph D ,.speaks.of.forgiveness.not.as.something.you.do.for.another.person ..It.is.about.setting.yourself.free.and.finding.peace,.the.mercy.you.give.to.yourself. Being.Jewish,.Dr .Borysenko.struggled.with.forgiving.the.Nazis.and.was.only.able.to.be.free.by.visiting.Germany.and.gaining.a.deeper.understanding.of.the.people ..Then.she.was.able.to.let.go.of.the.“cords.of.judgment”.that.were.still.binding.her.to.the.past ..She.recommends.taking.a.fearless.inventory.of.your.regrets.and.resentments,.and.whenever.possible,.without.hurting.anyone,.making.amends

Dr .Borysenko’s.recommendations.sound.much.like.a.combination.of.the.fourth.and.ninth.steps.of.The.12.Steps.of.Alcoholics.Anonymous ..The.12.Steps.are.an.important.part.of.recovery.for.many.people.struggling.with.addictions.and.make.several.references.to.things.like.human.error,.shortcomings.and.making.amends ..Although.the.word.“forgiveness”.is.not.used,.the.ability.is.woven.into.the.statements ..Learning.to.let.go.of.anger.and.resentment,.part.of.the.definition.of.forgiveness,.is.a.powerful.tool.in.the.process.of.recovery ..The.Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.also.recommends.a.daily.review,.asking.to.see.if.anyone.is.owed.an.apology.as.well.as.asking.for.forgiveness

In.The Power of Intention,.Wayne.Dyer,.Ph D ,.recommends.holding.thoughts.of.forgiveness.in.your.mind.as.frequently.as.possible.as.part.of.a.mini-program.for.raising.your.energy.vibrations ..He.reports.that.in.muscle.testing,.when.you.hold.a.thought.of.revenge,.you.will.go.weak;.while.a.thought.of.forgiveness.keeps.you.strong ..His.aim.is.raise.your.energy.to.a.level.of.Spirit.and.notes.that.revenge,.anger.and.hatred.are.exceedingly.low.energies.that.keep.you.from.matching.up.with.the.attributes.of.this.universal.spirit ..The.faster,.higher.energies.are.associated.with.expressions.of.things.like.healing,.love,.kindness,.health,.abundance,.beauty,.compassion .and.part.of.Dr .Dyer’s.book.is.devoted.to.dealing.with.obstacles.to.connecting.to.this.powerful.force.called.intention,.with.forgiveness.as.a.mitigating.factor

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC 2

In.the.section.on.How.to.Enhance.Your.healing,.The Client Manual for Quantum Techniques.recommends.to.clients,.“Be.willing.to.do.your.forgiveness.work ”..The.authors,.Stephen.Daniel,.Ph D .and.Beth.Daniel,.M A ,.note.that.it.is.critical.to.free.yourself.from.the.pain.of.the.past,.as.your.body.and.unconscious.do.not.know.that.the.images.you.play.in.your.head.are.just.memories ..To.your.body,.they.are.just.as.real.as.if.they.are.happening.right.now,.so.if.you.are.locked.in.pain.and.anger.with.someone.from.your.past,.you.are.still.living.that.experience ..As.long.as.we.are.unable.to.forgive.ourselves.and.others,.we.will.carry.all.of.our.unhealed.traumas.in.our.bodies ..The.Daniels.also.go.on.to.say.that.repeatedly.running.a.negative.emotional.scenario.in.you.mind.lays.down.a.neural.net,.a.hard-wired.connection.to.that.trauma.and.negative.emotion.that.puts.your.cells.in.a.profound.flight.or.fight.response ..“When.these.cells.divide,.they.code.more.cell.receptors.for.fear,.anger,.rage,.etc .and.leave.fewer.receptor.sites.for.taking.in.food,.oxygen.and.completely.healthy.cell.functions ..As.you.heal.and.release.the.past,.you.have.the.ability.to.stop.the.creation.of.the.next.generation.of.cell.receptors.for.anger,.rage,.fear ”

And.finally,.for.someone.like.Marianne.Williamson,.who.sees.a.world.of.one.mind,.when.a.deep.peace.is.cultivated.anywhere,.it.is.a.blessing.on.people.everywhere ..She.speaks.of.love.and.forgiveness.as.our.mission.and.how.we.can.see.every.problem.as.an.opportunity.to.do.so ..Each.event.then.becomes.part.of.a.divine.curriculum.set.up.by.God.for.our.growth.and.healing,.with.every.situation.ultimately.a.lesson.in.forgiveness ..Whether.your.motivation.to.forgive.comes.from.a.moral.obligation,.freedom.from.the.past,.an.attempt.to.heal.the.world.or.any.reason.that.moves.you,.this.exploration.is.meant.to.assist.you.along.your.path.of.healing


“Forgiveness is God’s invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other.”Lewis.B .Smedes.–.Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve

What is Forgiveness?

...To forgive: to give up resentment against or the desire to punish Webster’s.New.World.Dictionary ..The.dictionary.gives.us.a.pretty.straightforward,.easy.to.understand.definition ..However,.if.forgiveness.is.so.straightforward,.why.are.more.people.not.rushing.to.do.it?..Why.do.resentments.run.so.deep,.last.so.long.and.destroy.so.many?..Maybe.forgiveness.is.not.as.straightforward.as.it.seems ..Even.among.those.who.write.of.forgiveness,.there.is.disagreement.on.the.details ..What.follows.are.some.guidelines.to.help.sort.out.what.forgiveness.is.and.is.not ..These.come.mainly.from.the.work.of.Sidney.B .Simon,.Ph D ,.and.Suzanne.Simon.in.their.book,.Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get on With Your Life.and.Fred.Luskin,.Ph D ,.author.of.Forgive for Good and.the.Director.and.Cofounder.of.the.Stanford.University.Forgiveness.Project

• Forgiveness.is.the.peace.you.learn.to.feel.when.you.resolve.your.grievances ..It.is.the.gift.at.the.end.of.the.healing.process ..However,.it.can.also.begin.a.process.or.be.a.by-product.of.ongoing.healing

• Forgiveness.is.for.you.and.not.the.offender ..It.is.an.internal.process.that.is.a.feeling.of.wellness,.freedom.and.acceptance

• Forgiveness.is.about.your.healing.and.not.about.the.people.who.hurt.you ..It.is.accepting.that.nothing.we.do.to.punish.them will.heal.us...It.is.no.longer.wanting.them.to.suffer.as.much.as.we.did

• Forgiveness.is.taking.back.your.power.and.becoming.a.hero.instead.of.a.victim ..It.is.no.longer.building.your.identity.around.something.that.happened.in.the.past ..It.is.recognizing.that.we.no.longer.need.our.grudges.and.resentments,.our.hatred.and.self-pity

• Forgiveness.helps.you.get.control.over.your.feelings ..You.may.still.remember.what.happened,.but.you.can.let.go.of.the.intense.emotions.attached.to.incidents.of.the.past

• Forgiveness.is.a.choice ..You.can.claim.the.right.to.stop.hurting.and.to.stop.being.hurt.by.events.that.were.unfair.in.the.first.place

• Forgiveness.is.moving.on ..It.is.freeing.up.and.putting.to.better.use.the.energy.once.consumed.by.harboring.resentments.and.nursing.unhealed.wounds ..It.is.breaking.the.cycle.of.abuse


In.addition.to.defining.what.forgiveness.is,.it.is.also.helpful.to.look.at.what.it.is.not ..It.is.in.what.forgiveness.is.not.that.you.often.find.confusion.and.assumptions.that.prevent.people.from.actually.doing.it

• Forgiveness.is.not.forgetting.that.something.painful.happened ..By.forgiving.the.people.who.hurt.you,.you.do.not.erase.painful.past.experiences.from.your.memory ..Those.experiences.have.a.great.deal.to.teach.you,.both.about.not.being.victimized.again.and.about.not.victimizing.others

• Forgiveness.is.not.condoning.unkindness ..By.forgiving.the.people.who.hurt.you,.you.are.not.saying.that.what.was.done.was.acceptable.or.unimportant ..It.is.not.about.excusing.poor.behavior ..

• Forgiveness.is.not.denying.or.minimizing.your.hurt ..It.does.not.mean.you.give.up.having.feelings ..The.injuries.and.injustices.you.experienced.were.painful.and.unfair.when.they.originally.occurred ..You.can.retain.your.ability.to.be.angry.but.use.it.more.wisely

• Forgiveness.is.not.absolution ..The.people.you.forgive.are.not.absolved.of.all.responsibility.for.their.actions ..They.are.still.responsible.for.what.they.did.and.must.make.their.own.peace.with.the.past

• Forgiveness.does.not.mean.reconciling.with.the.offender ..There.may.be.reasons.apart.from.the.forgiven.offence.for.which.you.do.not.wish.to.reconcile ..Reconciliation.is.a.choice ..However,.it.is.nearly.impossible.to.reconcile.with.someone.you.have.not.forgiven

• Forgiveness.is.not.a.clear-cut,.one-time.decision ..No.matter.how.sincerely.we.want.to.let.go.of.the.past.and.move.on.with.our.life,.forgiveness.cannot.be.forced ..It.is.what.happens.naturally.as.a.result.of.confronting.painful.past.experiences.and.healing.old.wounds

Forgiveness.is.something.you.do.for.you ..It.is.working.through.unfinished.business.so.that.you.can.put.the.pieces.of.your.life.back.together.and.move.forward ..Forgiveness.helps.you.control.your.emotions.so.that.you.can.maintain.good.judgment ..Precious.energy.is.not.wasted.on.anger.and.hurt.over.things.about.which.you.can.do.nothing ..Forgiveness.acknowledges.that.you.cannot.change.the.past ..Has.anyone.offered.you.an.apology.that.actually.relieved.your.pain?..I.am.reminded.of.a.quote.I.heard.years.ago.during.a.lecture.on.Psychotherapy with Children.by.Richard.Gardner,.M D ,.“Doing.and.undoing.is.not.the.same.as.never.having.done ”..While.an.apology.from.someone.might.help.you.move.forward.with.that.person,.you.are.the.one.who.has.to.heal.the.wounds.and.make.peace.with.yourself ..The.Simons.state.it.very.elegantly,.“You.forgive.so.that.you.can.finally.get.rid.of.the.excess.emotional.baggage.that.has.been.weighing.you.down.and.holding.you.back;.so.you.can.be.free.to.do.and.be.whatever.you.decide.instead.of.stumbling.along.according.to.the.script.painful.past.experiences.wrote.for.you ”


Forgiveness is the bane of my existence.Why won’t you forgive?Because then I would have to change...

...................................Recent.conversation.with.a.friend

Obstacles to Forgiveness

One.of.the.often.overlooked.obstacles.to.forgiveness.is.that.people.do.not.know.how.to.do.it ..In.part,.this.is.what.prompted.me.to.write.about.forgiveness.at.this.time ..In.my.work.with.people.and.in.conversations.with.friends,.I.realized.that.forgiveness.is.missing.from.many.people’s.repertoires.for.dealing.with.situations ..I.also.realized.that.part.of.the.reason.it.is.not.there,.is.that.they.simply.do.not.know.how ..I.was.surprised.to.hear.people.speak.of.an.event.that.still.haunted.them.on.which.they.had.done.a.great.deal.of.work,.never.considering.that.maybe.forgiving.themselves.or.someone.else.would.end.it.for.good ..A.variety.of.techniques.for.the.actual.doing.of.forgiveness.is.offered.in.the.second.part.of.this.material ..Now,.we.will.consider.some.obstacles.other.than.not.knowing.how

• The.belief.that.only.God.can.forgive .You.may.not.feel.that.you.have.the.authority.to.forgive.yourself.or.others

• The.belief.that.forgiveness.is.weak ..It.is.seen.as.giving.in,.giving.up.or.admitting.defeat • The.belief.that.forgiveness.somehow.condones.the.person’s.behavior ..You.may.fear.that.the.

“bad.guys”.will.get.away.with.what.they.have.done.without.having.to.suffer.the.consequences • The.belief.that.the.offender.deserves.to.be.punished.and.that.not.forgiving.him.or.her.is.the.best.

way.to.do.it • The.fear.that.forgiveness.will.lead.to.forgetting,.which.will.lead.to.further.victimization ..• The.fear.that.forgiveness.will.leave.you.vulnerable ..You.may.be.using.anger,.bitterness.and.

resentment.as.a.barrier.to.protect.you.from.pain.and.self-doubt ..It.may.be.the.only.way.you.know.to.keep.distance.between.you.and.the.person.you.will.not.forgive

• The.fear.that.forgiveness.will.force.you.to.relive.unpleasant.experiences.and.admit.that.you.really.were.hurt

• The.fear.that.forgiveness.will.lead.to.reconciliation ..Withholding.forgiveness.protects.you.from.ever.having.to.see.the.person.again

• Withholding.forgiveness.can.give.you.a.sense.of.power.and.control.over.someone.who.has.hurt.you ..It.is.way.of.keeping.you.safe

• You.do.not.believe.there.is.anything.to.forgive

Thinking.that.there.is.nothing.to.forgive.will.stop.you.before.you.can.even.get.started ..Time.dulls.the.memories.of.the.things.you.would.like.to.forget.as.do.all.of.the.ways.you.try.to.numb.the.pain.of.the.past ..It.can.be.painful.to.remember,.and.some.people.are.so.afraid.of.the.feelings.they.have.shoved.down,.that.they.will.not.even.acknowledge.their.existence,.storing.them.in.some.sort.of.Pandora’s.Box,.better.left.undisturbed ..Others.will.not.acknowledge.their.pain.out.of.a.sense.of.loyalty ..They.want.to.protect.someone.and.do.not.want.to.admit.that.the.same.person.they.love.also.hurt.them ..The.same.thing.applies.


to.forgiving.yourself ..You.do.not.want.to.believe.that.you.could.be.hurtful.and.take.responsibility.for.your.impact.on.others ..And.yet,.if.you.look.closely.at.your.relationships,.you.can.see.the.effects.of.a.lack.of.forgiveness.in.the.strained.relationships,.grudges,.resentments.or,.most.clearly,.the.relationships.that.no.longer.exist.because.of.not.forgiving

In.Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All, Gerald.G .Jampolsky,.M D ,.addresses.the.ego,.that.part.of.us.which.interacts.with.the.physical.world,.and.states,.“There.is.always.a.choice.to.be.made:..We.can.listen.to.the.voice.of.love.or.the.voice.of.the.ego ”..Since.we.need.an.ego.to.function.in.our.physical.existence,.he.advises.not.to.make.it.our.enemy.but.also.not.to.become.attached.to.its.advice ..Because.of.its.limitations,.the.ego.can.become.fearful.and.defensive,.living.in.a.state.of.guilt.and.shame.and.looks.for.others.to.blame ..Because.its.reach.does.not.extend.into.the.higher.realms,.the.ego.does.not.believe.in.forgiveness ..It.is.responsible.for.the.beliefs.and.fears.listed.in.the.obstacles.above ..If.you.look.more.closely.at.the.list,.you.can.see.how.several.are.trying.to.protect.you.from.pain.and.further.victimization ..And.because.the.ego’s.perspective.is.limited,.that.makes.sense ..The.problem.is.that.a.lack.of.forgiveness.also.protects.you.from.love,.something.the.ego.knows.little.about ..Dr .Jampolsky.advises.readers.to.become.acquainted.with.the.ego’s.messages.so.that.you.can.recognize.them.when.they.come.into.your.thoughts ..Then.you.can.choose.whose.voice.you.are.going.to.listen.to,.the.ego’s.or.the.voice.of.love,.the.voice.of.forgiveness

In.its.separateness,.the.ego.is.always.comparing.you.to.others,.judging.and.holding.the.loser.in.contempt ..It.holds.rigid.beliefs.about.good.and.bad,.right.and.wrong,.often.formed.in.childhood.and.not.allowed.to.mature ..These.beliefs.are.reflected.in.the.obstacles.that.label.others.as.“bad”.and.deserving.of.punishment ..I.am.not.speaking.of.assessment.or.evaluation,.which.are.necessary.for.healthy.living ..I.am.referring.to.a.frightened.state.of.mind.that.feels.cut.off.and.labels.and.criticizes.anything.that.is.different.and.outside.of.its.realm.of.understanding ..Its.only.recourse.is.to.condemn.and.blame ..Mistakes.are.viewed.as.something.in.need.of.punishment,.not.forgiveness

In.addition,.if.you.experience.high.levels.of.shame,.you.will.have.a.very.difficult.time.taking.responsibility.for.your.behavior ..Shame.separates.you.from.yourself ..You.no.longer.experience.yourself.as.someone.who.can.make.mistakes ..You are a mistake...This.can.lead.to.strong.states.of.denial.that.you.have.anything.for.which.to.forgive.yourself ..To.admit.that.you.made.a.mistake.brings.you.too.close.to.the.shame.and.the.belief.that.you.are.in.some.way.damaged.with.no.way.out ..You.feel.isolated.from.the.rest.of.humanity,.and.in.your.isolation,.forgiveness.is.not.an.option.for.you.or.anyone.else,.setting.the.stage.for.blame

For.those.who.believe.that.external.reality.is.shaped.and.influenced.by.their.“inner.reality,”.self-blame.can.be.confused.with.taking.responsibility.for.their.lives ..They.sense.that.on.a.deep.spiritual.level,.they.are.choosing.certain.circumstances.and.experiences.that.contribute.to.their.growth.and.development ..While.they.are.reluctant.to.blame.others.for.these.events,.they.may.engage.in.self-recrimination,.which.is.equally.damaging ..In.The Path of Transformation, Shakti.Gawain.discusses.the.importance.of.recognizing.the.difference.between.blame.and.responsibility.for.those.who.see.reality.as.the.“mirror.of.consciousness.”..Blame.discourages.us.from.moving.forward,.whether.we.are.blaming.others.or.ourselves ..It.is.based.on.the.negative.assumption.that.something.wrong.or.bad.is.happening.and.that.someone.is.in.error,.while.


taking.responsibility.requires.us.to.look.at.every.situation.as.a.valuable.learning.experience ..Taking.responsibility.involves.becoming.conscious.of.our.own.patterns.to.see.what.we.have.created,.learning.and.moving.on ..We.may.also.need.to.heal.our.emotional.wounds,.change.our.beliefs.and.forgive.ourselves .

Blaming.others.is.not.the.same.as.holding.them.accountable.for.their.actions ..Blaming.someone.else.for.your.continued.pain.keeps.you.stuck.in.a.relationship.with.someone.who.hurt.you,.prolonging.not.only.the.pain.but.your.sense.of.helplessness ..In.Forgive for Good, Dr .Luskin.uses.the.metaphor.of.a.house,.asking.people.to.consider.“how.much.space.in.their.minds.they.are.renting”.to.their.wounds.and.grievances ..How.much.time.is.spent.thinking.about.hurts.and.disappointments?..The.situation.could.have.occurred.many.years.before,.and.yet.some.will.tell.it.as.though.it.happened.just.yesterday ..This.is.not.the.same.thing.as.recalling.an.event.with.the.intent.to.release.it ..It.is.rehashing.the.details.and.keeping.it.alive.in.the.present ..Not.only.does.this.keep.you.in.the.role.of.victim,.your.grievances.take.up.too.much.space.and.make.it.harder.for.you.to.appreciate.the.things.in.your.life.that.are.wonderful ..This.is.one.of.the.damaging.consequences.of.holding.on.to.old.pain.and.not.releasing.it.through.forgiveness ..The.space.it.is.taking.in.your.life.leaves.little.room.for.all.that.you.have.to.be.grateful.for,.all.of.the.beauty,.the.wonder.and.love

Quantum Techniques Healing Code for Obstacles to Forgivenessun,.g50,.sh,.g50,.sh,.eb,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.e,.mf,.lf,.liv,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.oe,.a,.c,.9g,.un,.sh,.un,.standard.chakra.pattern.#2.two.times .Say.code.with.palms.together


. “The one who pursues revenge should dig two graves.”

..................................................................................Old.Chinese.Proverb

The Consequences of Not Forgiving

...In.Anatomy of the Spirit,.Caroline.Myss,.Ph D ,.calls.the.inability.to.forgive.oneself.or.another.person.“the.strongest.poison.to.the.human.spirit,”.poisoning.our.own.physical.and.spiritual.systems.and.disabling.our.emotional.resources ..She.sees.forgiveness.as.a.complex.action.of.consciousness.that.liberates.us.from.the.need.for.personal.vengeance,.the.perception.of.oneself.as.a.victim.and.the.control.that.perception.has.over.our.psyches ..Staying.in.the.role.of.victim,.with.its.feelings.of.helplessness.and.hopelessness,.is.one.of.the.most.damaging.consequences.of.not.forgiving ..It.is.ironic.that.not.forgiving.brings.about.the.consequence.that.many.fear.will.happen.if.they.do.forgive,.remaining.a.victim ..When.you.stay.in.the.role.of.a.victim,.you.bring.about.the.very.things.you.are.trying.to.avoid.–.rejection,.abandonment.and.criticism,.being.lied.to.and.pushed.around ..This.is.crushing.to.your.self-esteem.and.further.entrenches.beliefs.of.“not.being.good.enough”.and.“being.undeserving,”.causing.you.to.isolate.yourself.and.reject.the.people.and.advice.that.could.be.helpful.to.move.you.out.of.this.role

This.can.lead.to.what.the.Simons.call.“systemic.suicide,”.where.you.do.not.take.care.of.yourself.and,.believing.that.you.are.helpless,.do.nothing.to.improve.the.quality.of.your.life ..Often.you.will.make.matters.worse.by.abusing.substances,.overeating,.driving.away.supportive.people,.not.exercising,.etc keeping.your.energy.level.low,.causing.more.feelings.of.guilt.and.shame.and.creating.new.problems.to.handle ..In.this.state,.you.cause.damage.to.others.as.well ..If,.as.a.parent,.you.are.obsessed.with.your.role.as.a.victim.and.your.own.pain,.you.will.not.be.able.to.live.up.to.your.responsibilities.to.your.children ..The.same.applies.to.all.of.the.relationships.in.your.life ..Even.worse.than.simply.neglecting.your.responsibilities.is.turning.your.stored.anger.and.resentment.on.those.around.you,.continuing.the.cycle.of.victimhood.with.you.becoming.the.offender ..If.you.take.a.close.look.at.the.person.who.hurt.you,.you.will.often.find.someone,.like.yourself,.who.did.not.heal.his.or.her.pain.and,.instead,.passed.in.on.to.you.in.the.form.in.which.you.were.hurt ..While.that.does.not.justify.what.was.done,.it.highlights.what.happens.when.we.do.not.heal.ourselves.and.forgive.so.that.the.cycle.can.be.ended,.and.we.can.move.on .

Some.recent.work.with.a.client.might.help.to.illustrate.the.damaging.effects.on.others.when.a.person.will.not.forgive ..In.this.case,.my.client.needed.to.forgive.himself

...My.client.was.molested.by.an.older.cousin.at.the.age.of.5 ..At.20,.he.knew.that.his.cousin.was.to.blame.for.the.incident.but.also.blamed.himself.as.a.young.boy.for.allowing.something.like.that.to.happen ..He.was.unable.to.release.the.boy.until.I.suggested.an.exercise.to.forgive.him ..After.doing.it.a.couple.of.times,.not.only.was.he.able.to.feel.compassion.for.himself.at.that.age,.but.he.was.also.able.to.relate.better.to.his.younger.brother ..My.client.has.a.younger.bother.who.is.not.much.older.than.he.was.at.the.time.of.the.molest ..Because.he.could.not.accept.himself.at.


that.age,.he.also.rejected.any.kind.of.relationship.with.his.brother,.who.very.much.wanted.to.be.included.in.his.life ..After.forgiving.himself.and.beginning.to.care.about.himself.as.a.young.boy,.my.client.was.able.to.see.his.brother.in.a.new.light.and.wanted.to.have.a.relationship.with.him

It.is.important.to.put.the.role.of.victim.in.perspective ..As.a.protective.measure,.people.often.deny.that.they.were.hurt ..This.can.be.for.many.reasons ..Sometimes,.it.is.to.help.them.cope.with.feelings.they.are.afraid.will.overwhelm.them.or.circumstances.they.are.not.prepared.to.handle ..Sometimes,.it.is.because.of.the.fear.that.the.experience.will.reveal.some.kind.of.fundamental.flaw.and.that.others.will.see.them.as.

“damaged.goods ”..Sometimes,.they.simply.do.not.want.to.believe.the.experience.could.have.happened.at.all ..Unfortunately,.if.they.continue.to.deny.that.anything.happened.to.them,.what.began.as.something.to.help.them.survive.a.painful.circumstance.can.end.up.hurting.them ..If.they.stay.there.too.long,.denial.becomes.a.dead-end.street,.leading.them.nowhere ..Often.people.will.then.move.into.a.state.of.blaming.themselves,.looking.for.reasons.for.the.hurtful.behavior.of.others.by.assuming.full.responsibility ..In.this.state,.they.are.holding.themselves.accountable.for.others’.actions,.absolving.them.of.all.responsibility ..While.this.is.at.least.acknowledging.that.something.hurtful.did.happen.and.does.provide.an.explanation.and.a.certain.sense.of.control,.people.can.become.stuck,.trying.to.fix.everything.by.fixing.themselves.and.

“never.feeling.good.enough ”

The.role.of.victim.requires.that.you.give.up.the.illusion.of.power.and.control.you.got.from.blaming.yourself ..It.is.the.acknowledgement.that.you.were.not.able.to.prevent.the.hurt.from.happening,.that.you.were.powerless.to.stop.it.and.at.the.mercy.of.the.people.who.hurt.you ..This.can.leave.you.feeling.very.helpless,.but.it.also.opens.the.door.to.begin.taking.care.of.the.hurt.inner.child,.who.you.have.been.punishing.while.blaming.yourself ..Feeling.like.a.victim.is.a.stage.of.healing.that.allows.you.to.place.responsibility.where.it.belongs,.tend.to.your.wounds.and.rebuild.your.self-esteem ..However,.it.is.not.a.place.where.you.were.meant.to.remain,.wallowing.in.self-pity.and.engaging.in.behaviors.that.are.destructive.to.you.or.others

Another.of.the.consequences.of.not.forgiving.is.that.you.stay.angry.and.resentful ..To.remain.angry.with.someone,.you.must.continue.to.recall.how.that.person.hurt.you ..This.takes.time.and.energy.as.you.stew.in.your.painful.past.experiences ..The.person.may.no.longer.be.doing.anything.to.hurt.you.or.even.be.in.your.life ..You.become.the.one.who.is.keeping.the.pain.alive,.injuring.yourself.with.each.hurtful.memory ..You.may.think.that.you.are.punishing.the.person.for.his.or.her.wrong-doing,.when,.in.fact,.you.are.simply.willing.yourself.to.feel.the.hurt.over.and.over.again ..And,.like.the.person.trapped.in.the.role.of.victim,.when.you.are.harboring.resentment,.you.are.hurting.those.around.you ..Anyone.who.comes.near.you.also.suffers.from.your.bitterness ..This.can.have.long.term.negative.effects.on.relationships.in.every.part.of.your.life ..To.protect.themselves.from.your.rage,.others.maintain.a.distance,.leaving.you.even.more.isolated.in.your.pain

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC �0

Holding.onto.anger.is.detrimental.to.your.health ..In.Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, Robert.D .Enright,.Ph D ,.cites.studies.showing.a.connection.between.hostility,.high.blood.pressure.and.heart.disease ..Chronic.negative.emotions.such.as.bitterness.and.hostility.can.also.compromise.your.immune.system,.increasing.the.risk.of.cancer.or.infectious.diseases ..Dr .Luskin,.who.sees.blame.at.the.core.of.holding.a.grudge,.reports.on.studies.showing.that.people.who.evidence.higher.degrees.of.blame.suffer.more.from.a.variety.of.illnesses,.that.anger.and.hostility.are.harmful.to.cardiovascular.health.and.that.people.who.have.difficulty.managing.anger.have.higher.rates.of.heart.disease.and.suffer.more.heart.attacks ..Dr .Luskin.has.conducted.four.studies.that.prove.the.positive.effects.of.learning.to.forgive,.showing.positive.results.in.psychological.and.emotional.well-being ..He.states.that.people.who.are.taught.to.forgive.become.less.angry,.more.hopeful,.less.depressed,.less.anxious,.less.stressed,.more.confident.and.learn.to.like.themselves.more ..He.also.found.that.people.with.higher.capacities.for.forgiveness.reported.fewer.medically.diagnosed.chronic.conditions

Dr .Jampolsky.asks.us.to.very.carefully.consider.the.side.effects.of.holding.unforgiving.thoughts.in.our.minds.and.the.negative.impact.they.can.have.on.our.well-being ..Among.the.many.problems.associated.with.an.unforgiving.mind,.he.lists.the.following:

• Headaches• Backaches• Pains.in.the.neck• Stomachaches.and.ulcer-like.symptoms• Depression• Lack.of.energy• Anxiety• Irritability• Tenseness.and.being.“on.edge”• Insomnia.and.restlessness• Free-floating.fear.(fear.not.attached.to.any.particular.event)• Unhappiness

Dr .Jampolsky.makes.the.connection.between.the.unforgiving.mind.and.the.ego,.whose.thought.system.is.based.on.fear,.guilt.and.blame ..The.ego.does.not.believe.in.forgiveness,.ours.or.anyone.else’s ..The.ego.believes.that.we.must.constantly.defend.ourselves.and.will.try.to.convince.us.that.the.only.way.to.protect.ourselves.from.further.harm.is.to.punish.the.other.person.with.our.anger.and.hatred,.withdrawing.from.them.so.that.they.will.feel.bad.for.what.they.have.done ..In.its.shame,.the.ego.views.mistakes.as.sins.that.should.never.be.forgotten.and.would.have.us.believe.that.God.is.truly.wrathful ..This.connection.with.the.ego.keeps.us.from.maturing.as.we.cling.to.childhood.beliefs ..Carolyn.Myss,.who.sees.forgiveness.as.a.spiritual.act,.speaks.of.the.wounded.child,.who.sees.the.Divine.as.operating.a.reward.and.punishment.system,.with.humanly.logical.explanations.for.all.painful.experiences,.not.understanding.the.spiritual.insights.that.lie.within.all.experience,.no.matter.how.painful .

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC ��

And.finally,.the.lack.of.forgiveness.binds.you.to.the.person.who.hurt.you ..In.The Sermon On the Mount,.Emmet.Fox.makes.a.compelling.case.for.setting.yourself.free.by.setting.others.free ..He.speaks.of.a.Cosmic.Truth.that.it.takes.two.to.make.a.prisoner;.the.prisoner.and.the.jailer.and.that.the.jailer.is.as.much.a.prisoner.as.his.charge,.bound.to.the.person.by.a.mental.chain ..Resentment.is.the.link,.the.tie.of.hatred.that.must.be.cut.by.a.clear.and.spiritual.act.of.forgiveness ..By.forgiveness,.you.set.yourself.free ..This.idea.is.echoed.by.others,.and.it.does.not.take.much.reflection.to.see.the.truth.in.it ..In.your.resentment.and.obsession.with.the.person.who.hurt.you,.you.are.keeping.him.or.her.with.you.all.of.the.time:..Standing.between.you.and.every.other.relationship;.involved.in.every.activity,.from.the.broadest.to.the.most.intimate,.coloring.your.perception.and.tainting.your.reality ..Once.again,.the.irony.is.that.by.not.forgiving.and.releasing.the.person.who.hurt.you,.you.imprison.yourself.through.continued.contact.and.the.damage.that.ensues

From.ending.the.role.of.victim.to.improving.your.emotional.and.physical.health.to.ending.your.self-imposed.imprisonment,.forgiveness.offers.us.many.benefits ..While.it.does.not.change.the.past,.it.can.change.the.present ..It.can.bring.about.a.sense.of.peace.in.the.present.that.allows.you.to.suffer.less.even.though.you.have.been.wounded ..It.allows.you.to.take.things.less.personally,.taking.responsibility.for.how.you.feel.and.becoming.a.part.of.the.solution ..While.it.can.help.the.person.whom.you.are.forgiving,.it.is.primarily.for.you ..Forgiveness.can.set.you.free


“In a way, forgiving is only for the brave. It is for those people who are willing to confront their pain, accept themselves as permanently changed, and make difficult choices. Countless individuals are satisfied to go on resenting and hating people who wrong them. They stew in their own inner poisons and even contaminate those around them. Forgivers, on the other hand, are not content to be stuck in a quagmire. They reject the possibility that the rest of their lives will be determined by the unjust and injurious acts of another person.”. ......Beverly.Flanigan.–.Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate Wounds

Who to Forgive

In.You Can Heal Your Life,.metaphysical.counselor.and.healer,.Louise.Hay.recommends.forgiving.ourselves.and.others.as.a.way.of.releasing.ourselves.from.the.past ..She.quotes.The Course in Miracles.in.saying.that.forgiveness.is.the.answer.to.almost.everything.and.that.when.we.are.stuck,.it.usually.means.that.there.is.some.more.forgiving.to.be.done ..We.can.be.holding.onto.regret,.sadness,.hurt,.fear,.guilt,.blame,.anger,.resentment.or.the.desire.for.revenge ..Dr .Hay.suggests.an.exercise.for.dissolving.resentment.that.will.be.presented.later.in.the.techniques.section.of.this.work.and.recommends.doing.it.once.a.day.for.a.month ..Dr .Dyer.recommends.that,.as.frequently.as.possible,.we.hold.thoughts.of.forgiveness.toward.anyone.who.may.have.angered.us.in.the.past ..But.who.are.we.supposed.to.forgive?

If.something.that.once.hurt.you.still.affects.you.in.any.way,.it.is.a.hurt.that.needs.to.be.healed,.and.part.of.that.healing.may.involve.forgiveness ..You.begin.by.admitting.that.you.were.hurt ..Toward.that.end,.the.Simons.review.the.top.eight.hurts.and.ways.these.types.of.pain.from.the.past.are.carried.into.the.future:

• Disappointment.–.not.getting.something.that.you.want,.are.looking.forward.to.or.expect ..Unfulfilled.wishes,.dashed.hopes.and.unmet.expectations.can.make.you.mistrustful.of.others

• Rejection.–.the.severing.of.a.tie.that.is.meaningful.to.you.that.creates.loss.of.love,.friendship.or.something.else.you.wanted.to.get.or.would.have.preferred.to.keep ..It.carries.with.it.the.implicit.message.that.you.are.“not.good.enough,”.a.message.that.replays.in.your.mind,.keeping.alive.the.memory.of.rejection.and.the.pain.it.caused

• Abandonment.–.the.severing.of.an.emotional.bond.between.you.and.an.important.person.in.your.life ..This.wound.leaves.you.with.pervasive.feelings.of.self-doubt.and.the.feeling.that.you.are.somehow.unlovable,.worthless.or.deficient

• Ridicule.–.the.act.of.making.someone.the.object.of.scornful.laughter ..Being.made.fun.of.lingers.long.after.the.original.act.and.can.lead.you.to.mock.yourself.and/or.keep.others.at.a.distance.so.they.cannot.hurt.you

• Humiliation.–.the.loss.of.pride.and.dignity.by.an.attack.on.something.you.have.done.or.an.integral.facet.of.who.you.are ..Much.like.someone.who.has.been.ridiculed,.you.build.defenses.to.keep.people.from.getting.close.enough.to,.in.any.way,.hurt.you.again


• Betrayal.–.the.breaking.of.a.bond.of.trust.that.is.so.painful.that.some.people.never.recover,.refusing.ever.to.trust.anyone.again

• Deception.–.lies.that.damage.your.ability.to.trust ..When.you.are.deceived.and.lied.to,.you.find.it.difficult.not.only.to.trust.others,.but.to.trust.your.own.judgment.as.well

• Abuse.–.this.can.involve.any.type.of.child.abuse.or.domestic.violence,.leaving.you.with.physical.and/or.emotional.scars ..Your.sense.of.trust.is.shattered,.your.self-esteem.is.damaged.and.you.live.with.the.enormous.burden.of.guilt.and.shame

These.hurts.and.their.damaging.effects.can.be.clues.to.who.you.need.to.forgive ..Your.physical.and.emotional.reactions.to.the.memories.of.painful.events.are.indicators.that.there.is.something.that.needs.to.be.healed.and.forgiven ..Telling.yourself.that.your.reaction.is.silly.or.that.it.will.go.away.on.its.own.does.not.help ..These.events.continue.to.affect.the.quality.of.your.life

Once.you.recognize.that.you.have.been.hurt,.you.can.look.at.who.was.responsible ..The.Simons.propose.the.following.to.consider:

• Parents*• Lovers• Spouses.(former.and.current)• Children• Stepchildren• Brothers.and.sisters• Grandparents• Friends.• Co-workers• Employers.• God• Teachers• Ministers• Peers.and.playmates• People.of.the.opposite.sex• People.of.other.races.and.religions• Strangers• Systems.(schools,.government,.criminal.justice.system )• Ourselves

*The.wounds.inflicted.by.parents.seem.to.carry.the.most.weight,.because.often.your.very.survival.was.threatened,.jeopardizing.your.sense.of.trust,.safety,.security.and.self-worth ..In.addition,.these.were.the.most.influential.role.models.of.your.life,.and.what.you.learned.from.them.became.the.foundation.for.all.of.your.future.attitudes,.beliefs.and.behaviors ..And.finally,.when.your.parents.hurt.you,.you.recognized.instinctively.that.something.was.wrong ..Because.you.did.not.want.to.believe.it,.you.quickly.absolved.them.and.blamed.yourself,.setting.the.stage.for.a.style.of.adaptation.that.you.may.still.use.today


Self-forgiveness

...Although.a.part.of.Who.to.Forgive,.self-forgiveness.deserves.special.consideration ..It.is.often.an.over-looked.piece.of.forgiveness.that.can.be.of.tremendous.benefit,.as.was.the.case.with.my.client.who.was.mentioned.earlier ..Not.only.did.his.ability.to.forgive.himself.open.doors.to.greater.understanding.and.awareness,.it.allowed.him.to.begin.to.build.a.relationship.with.his.little.brother,.something.he.may.not.have.been.able.to.do.otherwise ..Much.of.what.has.been.said.about.forgiving.others.applies.to.forgiving.yourself ..Self-forgiveness.is.about.putting.an.end.to.the.self-punishment.you.may.have.inflicted.over.the.years.for.things.you.have.or.have.not.done ..It.is.letting.go.of.the.intense.feelings.attached.to.these.situations ..It.is.claiming.the.right.to.stop.hurting.yourself.and.move.on ..It.is.letting.go.of.your.self-hatred.and.self-pity ..Self-forgiveness.is.not.about.forgetting.about.the.past.or.excusing.bad.behavior ..It.is.not.about.absolving.yourself ..It.is.about.taking.responsibility,.healing.and.changing ..

Self-forgiveness.departs.from.forgiving.someone.else.in.one.important.way.in.that.it.is.about.reconciliation ..When.you.forgive.someone.else,.reconciliation.is.a.choice.you.may.not.want.to.make ..An.important.piece.of.forgiving.yourself,.however,.is.to.integrate.those.previously.unacceptable.aspects.of.you.so.that.you.can.love.and.accept.all.of.you ..In.the.“Parts” Theory and Treatment Protocol,.Stephen.Daniel,.Ph D .and.Beth.Daniel,.M A ,.stress.that.you.cannot.bring.healing.to.any.part.of.yourself.with.whom.you.cannot.love,.respect.and.communicate.and.presents.the.treatment.protocol.as.a.method.for.reuniting.the.dissociated.parts.of.yourself.into.a.team.for.healing ..The.Daniels.assert.that.the.unconscious.creates.internal.parts,.or.“heroes,”.to.manage.trauma,.allowing.you.to.survive.the.unsurvivable ..These.internal.heroes.split.off,.wrapping.themselves.around.the.pain.to.contain.the.emotional.trauma.so.that.you.can.continue.to.live.your.life ..Problems.occur.as.dissociation.becomes.the.preferred.way.of.dealing.with.stressful.situations,.and.you.lose.conscious.awareness.of.the.internal.parts ..The.development.of.these.parts.is.arrested.at.the.age.that.the.trauma.occurred,.containing.beliefs.and.emotions.that.may.not.fit.with.your.present-day.reality ..It.is.necessary.to.address.these.parts.to.heal.their.pain,.allowing.them.to.mature.and.release.their.function.so.that.you.can.heal.as.a.whole ..Unaddressed.and.unhealed,.they.can.block.your.healing,.which.is.often.the.case.when.you.have.a.chronic.non-healing.illness

Shakti.Gawain.explains.some.of.the.inconsistencies.and.inner.conflicts.in.our.personalities.as.a.product.of.the.development.of.subpersonalities,.each.having.its.own.desires.and.needs ..The.process.of.growth.involves.getting.to.know.these.inner.selves.and.bringing.them.into.balance.and.integration.in.our.personalities ..Ms .Gawain.asserts.that.at.the.core.lies.our.essential.spiritual.being,.with.layers.growing.around.that.core.as.we.experience.the.world ..As.the.child.grows,.behaviors.that.bring.approval.and.reward.are.incorporated.into.the.personality,.while.energies.and.expressions.that.produce.disapproval.are.repressed.and.do.not.become.an.obvious.part.of.the.outward.personality ..However,.while.they.may.go.underground,.they.do.not.necessarily.go.away ..They.remain.undeveloped.and.may.pop.out.at.unguarded.moments ..However,.you.cannot.get.rid.of.any.part.of.you ..Denial.and.repression.will.only.cause.problems.in.your.life,.and.continuing.to.disown.and.repress.these.“shadow”.selves.can.eventually.lead.to.emotional.and.physical.illness ..Ms .Gawain.explains.the.importance.of.loving,.understanding.and.appreciating.each.part.of.your.personality,.bringing.your.selves.into.balance.and.giving.each.its.rightful.place.in.your.life


Forgiving.these.parts.or.aspects.of.your.personality.may.be.an.important.part.of.your.healing ..Dissociating.or.disowning.them.does.not.destroy.them,.and.they.may.appear.at.inappropriate.times,.flooding.you.with.emotions.that.do.not.fit.with.situation,.beliefs.that.you.know.better.than.to.have.or.behaviors.that.are.self-sabotaging.or.in.some.way.trip.you.up ..Any.of.the.categories.of.hurt.for.which.others.need.to.be.forgiven.can.also.be.self-inflicted:..The.disappointment.you.feel.when.you.do.not.meet.your.own.expectations;.rejecting.yourself.when.you.tell.yourself.repeatedly.that.you.are.“not.good.enough;.abandoning.yourself.to.continually.meet.the.needs.of.others;.the.ridicule.and.humiliation.you.feel.when.you.mock.yourself;..the.betrayal.and.deception.of.lying.to.yourself.or.the.self-abuse.of.any.type.of.addiction,.be.it.a.chemical.or.a.relationship ..Any.of.these.can.be.the.result.of.an.unacknowledged.part.or.a.conscious.choice,.and.each.needs.to.be.forgiven.and.healed

Dr .Luskin.breaks.self-forgiveness.into.four.categories:

• Failing.at.one.of.life’s.important.tasks.–.graduating.from.college,.getting.married,.having.children

• Not.taking.action.to.help.yourself.or.someone.else• Hurting.someone.else• Self-destructive.acts

These.categories.can.overlap;.you.could.be.upset.with.yourself.for.your.alcohol.abuse.and.the.impact.it.had.on.someone.else ..Self-forgiveness.can.also.be.an.aspect.of.interpersonal.forgiveness ..While.you.can.be.upset.with.someone.else.for.hurting.you.in.some.way,.you.can.also.be.upset.with.yourself.for.the.part.you.may.have.played.in.the.situation ..And.both.can.be.forgiven ..One.of.the.important.points.to.remember.about.forgiveness.is.that.it.sets.you.free ..Learning.to.forgive.yourself.gives.you.the.freedom.to.heal.and.move.on ..It.is.a.tool.that.allows.you.to.become.more.and.more.aware.of.yourself.without.the.fear.of.becoming.overwhelmed.with.what.you.might.find ..Once.my.client.became.comfortable.with.the.process.of.forgiving.himself,.he.began.looking.for.aspects.of.him.to.forgive,.no.longer.terrified.that.he.would.not.be.able.to.face.what.he.might.find ..And.life’s.stresses.will.give.you.plenty.of.opportunities.to.forgive.yourself ..A.personal.example

...I.was.nineteen.years.old.on.the.last.day.I.saw.my.mother.conscious ..It.was.a.Friday.evening,.and.I.had.dropped.by.the.hospital,.impatient.to.go.out.with.my.friends ..This.was.at.least.her.fifth.hospitalization.over.the.past.year,.since.her.cancer.had.been.diagnosed.as.terminal ...I.had.stayed.near.her.as.much.as.possible.during.that.time,.which.meant.that.I.witnessed.her.decline.daily,.the.cancer.taking.her.life.force,.leaving.behind.a.shell.of.a.person.where.my.once-vibrant.mother.had.been ..Despite.the.toll.it.was.taking.on.me,.I.stayed.close,.because.I.knew.that.my.time.with.her.was.running.out ..So.it.was.unusual.for.me.to.be.in.such.a.hurry.and.to.cut.my.visit.short ..I.guess.there.was.only.so.much.I.could.take.before.


needing.to.escape.into.some.kind.of.normal.teenage.life ..Sometime.during.the.night,.she.slipped.into.a.coma.and.died.within.the.next.week ..I.didn’t.say.much.to.her.that.last.night ..I.didn’t.know.that.it.was.my.last.chance.

No.one.else.would.fault.me.what.I.did ..I.would.not.fault.anyone.else.who.told.me.that.story ..But.I.was.haunted.by.guilt.for.years.over.my.actions.that.night ..Also,.the.decision.to.consider.my.needs.first.and.the.result.of.doing.that,.set.in.stone.a.belief.of.not.being.deserving.and.a.pattern.of.self-denial ..The.stress.of.my.mother’s.illness.on.our.family.brought.to.light.everyone’s.limitations,.something.a.teenager.does.not.want.to.confront ..And.in.the.end,.that.is.what.I.needed.to.forgive.myself.and.others.for,.having.limits ..At.a.deeper.level,.I.knew.that.I.could.not.say.good-by.to.her ..Neither.my.mother.nor.I.expressed.our.love.openly,.and,.knowing.who.we.both.were,.I.cannot.imagine.either.of.us.breaking.that.pattern.on.that.night ..All.I.could.do.was.walk.away.and,.years.later,.learn.to.forgive

Learning.to.forgive.yourself.is.an.important.step.in.learning.to.become.a.forgiving.person ..There.are.those.who.believe.that.you.cannot.forgive.another.until.you.have.learned.self-forgiveness ..We.all.make.mistakes,.bad.decisions.and.act.on.poor.information ..Sometimes.we.are.prepared,.and.sometimes.we.are.not ..You.can.use.the.techniques.to.forgive.yourself.or.someone.else ..In.both.cases,.the.motivation.is.to.heal.and.to.create.the.best.life.you.can,.for.yourself.and.those.you.love

Quantum Techniques Healing Code for Who to Forgivesh,.eb,.g50,.sh,.g50,.sh,.eb,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.lf,.e,.mf,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.g50,.sh,.eb,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.e,.mf,.lf,.third.eye,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.oe,.a,.c,.9g,.un,.sh,.un,.standard.chakra.pattern.#1.two.times ..Hold.fingertips.over.the.heart


The best way to have the last word is to apologize.. .Seen.on.a.church.marquee

Apology

Before.looking.at.the.different.techniques.to.forgive,.I.want.to.take.a.moment.to.consider.the.apology ..An.apology.is.used.when.you.need.to.ask.someone.to.forgive.you ..It.is.taking.responsibility.for.your.actions.and.the.hurt.that.you.have.caused.another ..It.is.a.way.of.saying.that.you.care.about.the.pain.you.have.caused.and.will.not.do.it.again ..If.you.know.you.have.hurt.someone.you.care.about.and.do.not.apologize,.you.feel.guilty.and.bad.about.yourself ..Apologizing.allows.you.to.restore.your.self-respect.as.well.as.conveying.respect.for.the.person.to.whom.you.offer.the.apology ..It.allows.you.to.begin.to.repair.the.damage.and.move.closer.to.the.person ..Apologizing.is.something.you.need.to.learn.how.to.do ..A.personal.example:

...I.don’t.remember.either.of.my.parents.ever.apologizing.to.me ..Was.it.because.they.didn’t.do.anything.wrong?..All.parents.make.mistakes,.and.mine.were.no.exception ..When.I.was.a.teen-ager,.my.mother.asked.to.borrow.a.pair.of.gloves,.and.I.said,.“No ”..There.was.no.good.reason.for.my.refusal ..She.let.me.borrow.her.clothes.many.times.and.seldom.asked.for.anything.of.mine ..Denying.her.may.have.been.my.way.of.expressing.anger.over.something.completely.unrelated ..I.no.longer.remember ..What.I.do.remember.was.the.look.on.her.face ..She.looked.stunned.and.hurt ..I.was.shocked.by.her.response.and.felt.deeply.ashamed ..I.said.nothing.as.she.turned.and.left.my.bedroom ..Up.to.fifteen.years.later,.whenever.I.recalled.that.incident,.I.could.still.see.her.face.and.feel.the.pangs.of.guilt.over.hurting.her ..I.never.apologized ..She.died.before.I.learned.how

My.inability.to.apologize.for.hurting.my.mother.left.me.with.guilt.that.lasted.for.years ..I.was.frozen.in.the.moment,.not.knowing.what.to.do.or.how.to.do.it,.left.with.the.shame.of.hurting.her ..Blaming.my.parents.for.not.knowing.how.would.only.prolong.the.issue.and.would.not.provide.any.real.comfort ..I.needed.to.learn.to.apologize ..So,.how.do.you.apologize?..In.How Can I Forgive You? Janice.Abrahms.Spring,.Ph D .and.Michael.Spring.offer.guidelines.on.what.makes.a.good.apology:

• Take.responsibility.for.the.damage.you.caused.–.you.admit.that.you.injured.the.person.and.for.that.you.are.sorry

• Make.your.apology.personal.–.rather.than.a.general.statement.about.doing.something.wrong,.you.admit.that.you did it to him or her.

• Made.your.apology.specific.–.you.capture.exactly.what.you.are.sorry.for,.how.you.hurt.the.other.person

• Make.your.apology.deep.–.rather.than.being.content.with.easy.admissions,.tell.the.truth.about.what.you.have.done


• Make.your.apology.heartfelt.–.to.be.genuinely.forgiven,.your.remorse.must.be.real • Made.your.apology.clean.–.you.apologize.in.a.way.that.is.straightforward.and.uncomplicated,.

without.accusing.the.other.person.in.the.process

These.guidelines.are.to.help.you.be.successful,.should.you.need.to.apologize.and.keep.you.from.offering.“bad.apologies,”.where.you.do.not.take.responsibility,.discount.the.injury.or.act.put-out.that.you.even.have.to.apologize ..When.you.want.to.be.forgiven,.apologizing.is.a.place.to.start ..Whether.someone.forgives.you.or.not.is.up.to.him.or.her,.but.a.heartfelt.apology.is.a.way.to.begin

“Sometimes forgiving was easy for me; sometimes forgiving was a very bold choice. Whatever kind of choice it was, it always led me to a more peaceful heart. It always left me happier and free to move on to create healthier relationships with others and with myself.”Robin.Casarjian.–.Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart.

How to Forgive

This.section.includes.a.variety.of.ways.to.forgive,.ranging.from.straightforward.and.practical.to.more.complex.and.involved ..One.is.not.more.right.than.another ..Depending.on.what.you.would.like.to.forgive,.one.may.serve.you.better.than.the.others ..You.may.also.wish.to.take.pieces.of.a.few.and.combine.them.or.adapt.the.technique.to.fit.a.specific.circumstance ..It.is.entirely.up.to.you ..If.you.are.not.sure.where.to.begin,.scan.the.material.already.presented.to.see.if.anything.catches.your.attention ..You.can.also.test,.using.one.of.the.Quantum.Techniques.self-testing.methods.to,.not.only.find.a.starting.place,.but.also.to.choose.the.most.appropriate.forgiveness.technique.to.use ..Some.of.the.techniques.have.been.taken.from.more.involved.processes ..The.source.for.each.of.the.techniques.is.mentioned.and.referenced.at.the.end.of.the.material.if.you.would.like.more.information ..The.techniques.are.not.presented.in.any.particular.order ..If.the.technique.might.be.helpful.for.something.specific,.however,.that.will.be.noted

Dissolving ResentmentFrom.You Can Heal Your Life by.Louise.Hay

..“There.is.an.old.Emmet.Fox.exercise.for.dissolving.resentment.that.always.works ..He.recommends.that.you.sit.quietly,.close.your.eyes.and.allow.your.mind.and.body.to.relax ..Then.imagine.yourself.sitting.in.a.darkened.theatre,.and.in.front.of.you.is.a.small.stage ..On.that.stage.place.the.person.you.resent.the.most ..It.could.be.past.or.present,.living.or.dead ..When.you.see.this.person.clearly,.visualize.good.things.happening.to.this.person ..Things.that.would.be.meaningful.to.them ..See.them.smiling.and.happy ...Hold.this.image.for.a.few.minutes,.then.let.it.fade.away ..I.like.to.add.another.step ..As.they.leave.the.stage,.put.yourself.up.there ..See.good.things.happening.to.you ..See.yourself.smiling.and.happy ..Be.aware.that.the.abundance.of.the.Universe.is.available.for.all.of.us ”..(Dr .Hay.recommends.this.exercise.be.done.once.a.day.for.a.month)


Choosing to ForgiveFrom.Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All by.Gerald.G .Jampolsky,.M D

...Dr .Jampolsky.recommends.that.you.be.willing.to.turn.all.your.grievances.and.what.may.seem.to.be.justified.anger.over.to.the.highest.truth.in.yourself.–.a.Higher.Power,.God.or.whatever.name.you.apply.in.speaking.of.your.Source ..Then,.your.anger.will.be.turned.into.love ..It.is.your.willingness.to.seek.help.from.this.Higher.Power.that.allows.you.to.transform.your.anger.into.love

• Decide.that.you.are.no.longer.going.to.suffer.from.the.boomerang effect.of.your.unforgiving.thoughts

• You.may.find.it.helpful.to.write.a.letter.to.the.person.you.wish.to.forgive ..Express.all.of.your.feelings,.and.then.tear.up.the.letter

• You.may.find.it.healing.in.the.forgiveness.process.to.write.poetry ..Put.your.thoughts.and.feelings.into.intimate.and.well-expressed.words

• Be.clear.that.your.only.goal.is.peace.of.mind,.not.changing.or.punishing.the.other.person • Be.willing.to.see.this.person.who.hurt.you.as.one.of.your.strongest.teachers,.giving.you.the.

opportunity.to.really.learn.what.forgiveness.is.all.about • Remember.that.in.the.process.of.forgiving.the.other.person,.you.are.forgiving.yourself • Begin.to.practice.and.find.the.value.of.blessing.and.praying.for.the.other.person.as.well.as.

yourself • Remember.that.in.forgiving,.you.are.not.agreeing.with.the.other.person.or.condoning.their.

hurtful.behavior • Enjoy.the.happiness.and.peace.that.comes.from.forgiving

Healing VisionFrom.Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get on With Your life.by.Sidney.B .Simon,.Ph D .and.Suzanne.Simon ..

...The.Simons.recommend.creating.a.healing.vision.to.guide.you.and.help.move.you.in.a.direction.that.is.different.from.where.you.are ..It.can.change.with.time.and.be.used.to.motivate.you.to.keep.moving.forward.as.you.work.through.the.different.aspects.of.forgiveness ..A.healing.vision.describes.the.attributes.you.want.to.develop,.how.you.hope.to.feel.and.what.you.want.to.be.able.to.have.and.do.as.a.result.of.healing.old.wounds.and.completing.unfinished.business ..One.of.the.ways.they.recommend.for.doing.this.is.to.pretend.that.it.is.already.two.to.five.years.in.the.future.and.that.you.want.to.describe.your.life.circumstances.to.a.friend.with.whom.you.have.not.been.in.contact.for.awhile ..Write.a.letter.to.that.person,.describing.how.well.your.life.is.going ..This.will.give.you.an.image.of.your.destination.that.is.positive.and.meaningful.to.you.and.encourage.you.to.do.the.work.you.need.to.do.in.order.to.get.to.it


Forgiving From.The Sermon On the Mount.by.Emmet.Fox

...“The.method.of.forgiving.is.this:..Get.by.yourself.and.become.quiet ..Repeat.any.prayer.or.treatment.that.appeals.to.you,.or.read.a.chapter.of.the.Bible ..Then.quietly.say,.‘I.fully.and.freely.forgive.X.(mentioning.the.name.of.the.offender);.I.loose.him.and.let.him.go ..I.completely.forgive.the.whole.business.in.question ..As.far.as.I.am.concerned,.it.is.finished.forever ..I.cast.the.burden.of.resentment.upon.the.Christ.within.me ..He.is.free.now,.and.I.am.free.too ..I.wish.him.well.in.every.phase.of.his.life ..That.incident.is.finished ..The.Christ.Truth.has.set.us.both.free ..I.thank.God ’.. afterward,.whenever.the.memory.of.the.offender.or.the.offense.happens.to.come.into.your.mind,.bless.the.delinquent.briefly.and.dismiss.the.thought ..Do.this,.however.many.times.the.thought.may.come.back ”.(This.exercise.could.be.used.with.yourself.or.another)

Releasing JudgmentsFrom.Inner Peace for Busy People by.Joan.Z .Borysenko,.Ph D

...Dr .Borysenko.reminds.us.that.judgments.are.often.projections.of.something.that.we.do.not.want.to.acknowledge.about.ourselves ..Instead,.we.see.that.quality.in.the.people.around.us,.and.what.bothers.us.about.other.people.is.often.a.reflection.of.our.own.shadow,.the.disowned.parts.of.our.personality.that.we.judge.and.try.to.hide.out.of.shame ..Like.our.physical.shadow,.it.follows.us.faithfully.and.will.work.to.our.detriment.until.we.are.ready.to.see.it,.heal.it.and.forgive.it ..Recognizing.that.what.you.are.judging.may.be.an.unacknowledged.part.of.you.might.help.you.to.better.understand.the.person.and.release.him.or.her.in.the.process ..

Forgiving Yourself and Another From.Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All.by.Gerald.G .Jampolsky,.M D

...Dr .Jampolsky.recommends.an.exercise.where.you.imagine.a.garbage.can.into.which.you.put.all.of.your.anger.and.guilt.(and.any.other.emotions.that.might.be.present) ..After.the.garbage.can.is.filled,.ask.yourself.if.you.are.willing.to.let.those.feelings.go ..Are.you.willing.to.forgive.yourself.and.the.person.who.hurt.you?..If.you.are.ready,.imagine.that.you.have.a.giant.helium.balloon ..You.tie.it.to.the.can.and.let.it.go ..Then.watch.the.can.rise.slowly.into.the.air,.going.higher.and.higher.up.into.sky.until.it.has.completely.disappeared

Copyright © 2006 Quantum Techniques, LLC 2�

Prayers of ForgivenessFrom.Illuminata: A Return to Prayer.by.Marianne.Williamson

...The.following.are.amends.between.men.and.women:

(Men.to.Women)If.I.or.any.other.man.has.ever.done.anything.to.hurt.or.offend.you,.and.for.the.manifold.transgressions.against.women,.you.and.every.other,.I.apologize Please.forgive.me.and.please.forgive.us If.you.have.ever.felt.demeaned,.uncherished,.or.your.womanhood.betrayed.in.any.way;If.I.or.any.other.man.has.failed.to.see.the.light.of.your.sex.and.the.brilliance.of.your.female.spirit,.on.behalf.of.all.of.us,.I.am.so.sorry May.the.beauty.of.women.and.the.power.of.women.and.the.vision.of.women.now.burst.forth.in.our.world.and.in.our.consciousness ..May.the.mind.of.man.be.healed May.the.heart.of.woman.repair I.commit.to.you.and.to.God.that.I.am,.and.shall.be,.a.man.who.sees.your.value I.see.your.light God.bless.you.and.your.sisters,.our.mothers.and.our.daughters I.shall.teach.my.sons.to.honor.you May.we.never.go.back Amen

(Women.to.Men)If.I.or.any.member.of.my.sex.has.ever.done.anything.to.hurt.you.or.offend.you.or.any.man,.please.forgive.me.and.please.forgive.us If.your.life.as.a.man.has.been.stunted.or.thwarted.by.any.woman,.I.now.stand.in.her.stead.and.apologize.for.me,.for.her,.for.all.womankind May.God.give.us.a.healed.vision.of.what.it.means.to.be.a.man May.men.receive.this.healing May.women.receive.this.healing May.we.see.your.strength May.we.not.emasculate May.we.honor.your.power.and.respect.your.mind I.shall.teach.my.daughters.well May.your.past.be.healed,.your.future.made.new.and.strong May.you.reach.your.fullest.joy Go.with.my.love,.and.the.love.of.all.women,.forever Amen


Thoughts of ForgivenessFrom.The Power of Intention by.Wayne.W .Dyer,.Ph D

...Dr .Dyer.recommends.holding.thoughts.of.forgiveness.in.your.mind.as.frequently.as.possible,.stating.that.a.simple.thought.of.forgiveness.toward.anyone.who.may.have.angered.you.in.the.past.–.without.any.action.taken.on.your.part.–.will.raise.you.to.the.level.of.Spirit.and.aid.you.in.your.individual.intentions ..(This.can.be.used.to.forgive.yourself.as.well)

Retrieving Your Spirit From YesterdayFrom.Anatomy of the Spirit by.Carolyn.Myss,.Ph D

...“Evaluate.what.you.need.to.do.in.order.to.forgive.others.–.and.yourself,.if.necessary ..Should.you.need.to.contact.anyone.for.a.closure.discussion,.make.sure.that.you.are.not.carrying.the.message.of.blame.as.a.private.agenda ..If.you.are,.you.are.not.genuinely.ready.to.let.go.and.move.on ..Should.you.need.to.share.your.closure.thoughts.in.a.letter.to.the.person,.do.so,.but.again,.make.sure.your.intention.is.to.retrieve.your.spirit.from.yesterday,.not.to.send.yet.another.message.of.anger ...Finally,.create.an.official.ceremony.for.yourself.in.which.you.call.your.spirit.back.from.your.past.and.release.the.negative.influence.of.all.your.wounds ..Whether.you.prefer.a.ritual.or.a.private.prayer.service,.enact.your.message.of.forgiveness.in.an.“official”.way.in.order.to.establish.a.new.beginning

Forgiving Yourself and AnotherFrom.You Can Heal Your Life by.Louise.Hay

...This.exercise.is.to.be.done.with.a.partner,.if.possible,.or.stated.out.loud.if.you.are.alone ..“ sit.quietly.with.your.eyes.closed.and.say,.‘The.person.I.need.to.forgive.is.___________.and.I.forgive.you.for.______

_______ ’...Do.this.over.and.over ..You.will.have.many.things.to.forgive.some.for.and.only.one.or.two.to.forgive.others.for ..If.you.have.a.partner,.let.them.say.to.you,.‘Thank.you,.I.set.you.free.now ’..If.you.do.not,.then.imagine.the.person.you.are.forgiving.saying.it.to.you ..Do.this.for.at.least.five.or.ten.minutes ..Search.your.heart.for.the.injustices.you.still.carry ..Then.let.them.go ...When.you.have.cleared.as.much.as.you.can.for.now,.turn.your.attention.to.yourself ..Say.out.loud.to.yourself,.‘I.forgive.myself.for._____________ ’..Do.this.for.another.five.minutes.or.so ..These.are.powerful.exercises.and.good.to.do.at.least.once.a.week.to.clear.our.any.remaining.rubbish ”..(This.can.also.be.used.to.forgive.parts.of.yourself )

Personal ReviewFrom.The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

...“When.we.retire.at.night,.we.constructively.review.our.day ..Were.we.resentful,.selfish,.dishonest.or.afraid?..Do.we.owe.an.apology?..Have.we.kept.something.to.ourselves.which.should.be.discussed.with.another.person.at.once?..Were.we.kind.and.loving.towards.all?..What.could.we.have.done.better?..Were.


we.thinking.of.ourselves.most.of.the.time?..Or.were.we.thinking.of.what.we.could.do.for.others,.of.what.we.could.pack.into.the.stream.of.life?..But.we.must.be.careful.not.to.drift.into.worry,.remorse.or.morbid.reflections,.for.that.would.diminish.our.usefulness.to.others ..After.making.our.review.we.ask.God’s.forgiveness.and.inquire.what.corrective.measures.should.be.taken ”

PERT – Positive Emotion Refocusing TechniqueFrom.Forgive for Good by.Fred.Luskin,.Ph D

...This.technique.is.offered.to.teach.you.how.to.maintain.peace.in.any.situation,.no.matter.how.upsetting ..It.will.help.you.sustain.a.positive.focus.when.faced.with.a.painful.situation.or.memory.so.that.you.can.make.good.decisions

When.you.are.feeling.the.effects.of.an.unresolved.grievance.or.ongoing.relationship.problems:

1 . Bring.your.attention.fully.to.your.stomach.as.you.slowly.draw.in.and.out.two.deep.breaths ..As.you.inhale,.allow.the.air.to.gently.push.your.belly.out ..As.you.exhale,.consciously.relax.your.belly.so.that.it.feels.soft

2 . On.the.third.full.and.deep.exhalation,.bring.to.your.mind’s.eye.an.image.of.someone.you.love.or.of.a.beautiful.scene.in.nature.that.fills.you.with.awe.and.wonder ..Often.people.have.a.stronger.response.when.they.imagine.their.positive.feelings.are.centered.in.the.area.around.their.heart

3 . While.practicing,.continue.with.soft.belly.breathing 4 . Ask.the.relaxed.and.peaceful.part.of.you.what.you.can.do.to.resolve.your.difficulty

Practicing.PERT.is.to.help.you.remain.in.control.of.your.emotions ..With.practice,.the.people.who.hurt.you.can.become.less.threatening ..You.take.away.their.power.to.hurt.you.and.replace.it.with.increased.self-confidence.and.calm

Emptying Your MindFrom.There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by.Wayne.Dyer,.Ph D

...Dr .Dyer.recommends.emptying.your.mind.as.a.way.to.rid.yourself.of.all.blame.and.angry.thoughts.about.what.has.transpired.in.the.past ..You.empty.your.mind.of.your.ego-driven.thoughts,.inviting.forgiveness.into.your.heart.and.letting.go.of.the.lower.energies.of.hatred,.shame.and.revenge ..There.is.no.room.for.hanging.on.to.who.did.what.and.when.and.how.wrong.they.were ..In.this.meditative.or.prayer.space,.you.relinquish.your.agenda.and.be.open.to.what.will.inevitably.come.to.you ..You.send.a.message.to.your.ego,.which.says,.“I.am.going.to.trust.in.the.same.power.that.moves.the.galaxies.and.creates.a.baby.rather.than.in.my.own.self-indulgent.assessments.for.how.I.would.like.things.to.be.going.right.now ”..You.relinquish.your.thoughts.to.the.power.that.spirit.has.to.make.things.work.and.let.go.of.any.agenda.that.interferes.with.the.perfect.expression.of.God.within.you


Gaining PerspectiveFrom.Forgiveness Is a Choice by.Robert.D .Enright,.Ph D

..This.technique.involves.writing.a.story.of.the.person.who.hurt.you.to.help.you.see.the.person.with.“new.eyes ”..In.writing.the.story,.consider.five.questions:

1 . What.was.life.like.for.him.or.her.when.growing.up?..Begin.with.the.person.as.a.child.and.try.to.write.about.three.or.four.events.in.the.person’s.past ..Then.describe.his.or.her.vulnerability.that.seemed.to.flow.from.these.difficulties.(do.not.confuse.forgiveness.with.condoning.or.excusing ..The.person’s.hardships.should.not.become.your.hardships)

2 . At.the.time.of.the.offense,.what.was.life.like.for.the.person?..Try.to.imagine.what.the.person.was.thinking.and.feeling ..Can.you.see.any.vulnerability.here?..In.your.opinion,.might.the.person’s.reactions.at.the.time.of.the.event.be.a.spillover.from.childhood.patterns.(again,.realize.that.forgiving.is.not.the.same.as.condoning)?

3 . Are.you.able.to.tell.the.story.of.your.relationship.with.the.person.in.a.broader.sense.than.the.offense.itself ?..Was.it.all.bad,.or.are.there.any.good.images.that.come.to.mind?..Try.to.describe.at.least.three.incidents.in.which.the.person.showed.good.judgment.or.strong.character.(these.are.not.substitutes.for.what.happened.to.you) ..Write.down.your.impressions.of.the.ways.in.which.the.offender.is.worse.off.now.than.you.are.as.a.result.of.the.hurtful.event ..Here,.you.are.trying.to.see.a.person.who.genuinely.is.a.person.

4 . What.is.the.person.like.in.the.global.perspective?..Try.to.see.the.offender.as.a.member.of.the.human.race,.one.who.belongs.on.this.earth,.just.as.you.do ..Try.to.work.with.this.global.perspective.until.you.see.the.offender.as.fully.human.and.deserving.of.respect.because.he.or.she.is.human

5 . What.is.the.person.like.when.you.take.a.cosmic.perspective?..The.cosmic.perspective.focuses.on.spiritual.or.religious.outlooks ..How.does.the.Divine.see.the.person.on.whom.you.are.focusing?..What.does.your.worldview.have.to.say.about.redemption.or.how.a.person.is.transformed.toward.the.good.in.this.life.or.enters.into.an.afterlife?..Can.you.see.this.person.as.a.part.of.the.Divine.Plan,.as.belonging.to.a.wider.group.than.your.family,.workplace.or.even.global.community.of.those.living.on.earth.right.now?..Do.you.need.help.from.the.Divine.to.forgive.this.person?

Has.answering.these.questions.changed.your.view.of.the.person?..Is.there.work.still.needing.to.be.done.to.deepen.and.broaden.your.story.of.him.or.her?..(This.exercise.could.be.used.to.gain.perspective.of.your.own.actions,.also)

Inner Child HealingFrom.Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All by.Gerald.G .Jampolsky,.M D

..Dr .Jampolsky.reminds.us.that.a.fearful.child.who.may.still.reside.within.you.can.be.profoundly.healed.and.assured.of.your.love.through.the.forgiveness.process ..He.recommends.finding.a.baby.picture.of.yourself.and.a.photo.of.yourself.as.a.child ..Put.these.photos.on.a.mirror,.your.desk.or.wherever.you.will.see.them.often.and.be.reminded.of.them ..Love.the.fearful.child.you.see.in.these.photos.every.day,.and.you.may.find.that.it.becomes.a.more.joyful.and.loving.adult


Prayer for Releasing JudgmentsFrom.Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness, and Making Miracles by.Marianne.Williamson

...“We.are.not.asked.to.be.perfect,.but.to.be.honest.–.to.pray,.“Dear.God,.I.have.judgments.about.this.person,.but.I.am.willing.to.see.the.situation.differently ..Please.show.me.his.innocence,.so.I.will.no.longer.focus.on.his.guilt ..Please.make.this.a.lesson.in.love.and.not.fear ..Amen ”..(This.prayer.could.be.used.to.release.judgments.you.hold.against.yourself )

ForgivingFrom.Inner Peace for Busy People by.Joan.Z .Borysenko,.Ph D

...The.following.is.an.exercise.in.imagination:

...Center.in.your.breath.and.imagine.that.you.are.in.a.safe.and.sacred.place.where.others.could.enter.only.with.your.permission ..Then.imagine.asking.the.person.you.want.to.forgive.or.the.person.you.hope.might.forgive.you.into.your.sanctuary ..Have.a.heart.to.heart.talk.with.him.or.her,.expressing.how.you.feel.and.listening.for.a.response;.or,.if.you.want.to.be.forgiven,.listen.to.the.other.person.and.respond .(This.exercise.can.be.used.to.forgive.yourself.at.a.younger.age.or.a.part.of.you.that.needs.forgiveness)

MercyFrom.Wisdom of the Ages: 60 Days to Enlightenment by.Wayne.W .Dyer,.Ph D

...Dr .Dyer.reminds.us.that.the.quality.of.having.mercy.in.our.hearts.to.give.away.keeps.us.focused.on.what.we.are.for,.rather.than.what.we.are.against.and.recommends.practicing.the.following:

• When.you.find.yourself.facing.a.situation.in.which.you.are.going.to.apportion.justice,.see.the.two.sides.of.your.own.personality.very.clearly ..The.one.side.is.the.king.who.has.the.power.of.retribution;.the.other.side.is.the.mercy.merchant.who.sends.love.and.compassion.first.and.foremost ..By.all.means.seek.justice,.but.season.it.well.with.mercy

• Give.yourself.the.compassion.you.deserve.for.any.and.all.past.actions ..Stop.judging.yourself.harshly ..All.those.errors.and.wrong.actions.were.necessary.for.you.to.get.beyond.that.place.in.your.life ..Be.kind.to.yourself.and.eliminate.any.ill.feelings.you.harbor.toward.yourself

• Once.you.have.stated.how.you.feel,.and.justice.has.been.done,.than.let.go ..I.mean.let.go.now! Don’t.hold.on.to.grudges.and.use.constant.reminders.to.keep.others.in.a.state.of.guilt.while.maintaining.your.own.dissonance.as.well ..Let.it.go

• Turn.your.most.troublesome.disturbances.over.to.God ..Simply.say,.“Dear.God,.I.find.it.so.extremely.difficult.to.give.mercy.in.this.situation,.and.I.am.turning.it.over.to.you.completely ..I.know.you.will.guide.me.in.action.in.the.most.merciful.and.humane.way ”..This.action.will.free.you.from.your.own.immobilization.and.anger.and.help.you.to.see.the.saint.in.the.sinner,.who.have.just.been.exchanging.notes.with.each.other


Offering ForgivenessFrom.The Sermon on the Mount by.Emmet.Fox

...“Everybody.should.practice.general.forgiveness.every.day.as.a.matter.of.course ..When.you.say.your.daily.prayers,.issue.a.general.amnesty,.forgiving.everyone.who.may.have.injured.you.in.any.way,.and.on.no.account.particularize ..Simply.say:..“I.freely.forgive.everyone ”..Then.in.the.course.of.the.day,.should.the.thought.of.grievance.or.resentment.come.up,.bless.the.offender.briefly.and.dismiss.the.thought ”

Healing VisualizationFrom.You Can Heal Your Life by.Louise.L .Hay

...Have.someone.read.this.to.you,.if.you.can,.or.put.it.on.tape.and.listen.to.it

...Begin.to.visualize.yourself.as.a.little.child.of.five.or.six ..Look.deeply.into.this.little.child’s.eyes ..See.the.longing.that.is.there.and.realize.that.there.is.only.one.thing.this.little.child.wants.from,.and.that.is.love ..So.reach.out.your.arms.and.embrace.this.child ..Hold.it.with.love.and.tenderness ..Tell.it.how.much.you.love.it,.how.much.you.care ..Admire.everything.about.this.child.and.say.that.it’s.okay.to.make.mistakes.while.learning ..Promise.that.you.will.always.be.there.no.matter.what ..Now.let.this.little.child.get.very.small,.until.it.is.just.the.size.to.fit.into.your.heart ..Put.it.there.so.whenever.you.look.down.you.can.see.this.little.face.looking.up.at.you.and.you.can.give.it.lots.of.love ...Now.visualize.your.mother.as.a.little.girl.of.four.or.five,.frightened.and.looking.for.love.and.not.knowing.where.to.find.it ..Reach.out.your.arms.and.hold.this.little.girl.and.let.her.know.how.much.you.love.her,.how.much.you.care ..Let.her.know.she.can.rely.on.you.to.always.be.there,.not.matter.what ..When.she.quiets.down.and.begins.to.feel.safe,.let.her.get.very.small,.just.the.size.to.fit.into.your.heart ..Put.her.there.with.your.own.little.child ..Let.them.give.each.other.lots.of.love ...Now.imagine.your.father.as.a.little.boy.of.three.or.four,.frightened,.crying.and.looking.for.love ..See.the.tears.rolling.down.his.little.face.as.he.doesn’t.know.where.to.turn ..You.have.become.good.at.comforting.frightened.little.children,.so.reach.out.your.arms.and.hold.his.trembling.little.body ..Comfort.him ..Croon.to.him ..Let.him.feel.how.much.you.love.him ..Let.him.feel.that.you.always.be.there.for.him ...When.his.tears.are.dry,.and.you.feel.the.love.and.peace.in.his.little.body,.let.him.get.very.small,.just.the.size.to.fit.into.your.heart ..Put.him.there.so.those.three.little.children.can.give.each.other.lots.of.love.and.you.can.love.them.all

Releasing GrudgesFrom.Pulling Your Own Strings by.Wayne.W .Dyer,.Ph D

...Dr .Dyer.advises.to.silently.forgive.everyone.you.think.has.wronged.you.in.the.past.and.vow.not.to.keep.victimizing.yourself.with.remembrances.of.evil.or.“private.vengeance”.thoughts.that.only.hurt.you ..If.possible,.write.or.phone.someone.you.have.refused.to.talk.with.and.start.afresh ..He.reminds.that.holding.old.grudges.only.keeps.you.from.enjoying.many.potentially.rewarding.experiences.with.people.just.because.they.may.once.or.twice.have.made.mistakes.that.affected.you.and.goes.on.to.state.that.if.you.are.upset.today.by.their.past.behavior,.then.they.are.still.controlling.you


Changing BeliefsFrom.Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All.by.Gerald.G .Jampolsky,.M D

...Dr .Jampolsky.states.that.to.learn.the.value.of.forgiving,.we.need.to.let.go.of.the.ego’s.belief.that.we.must.find.someone.to.blame.whenever.something.goes.wrong ..One.of.the.ways.of.see.the.value.of.letting.go.of.self-condemnation.and.condemnation.of.others.is.to.change.how.we.think.about.who.and.what.we.are ..If.we.can.adopt.a.willingness.to.look.upon.ourselves.and.each.other.as.eternal.spiritual.beings,.it.becomes.much.easier.to.see.the.value.of.forgiveness ..A.belief.system.based.on.fear.rather.than.love.is.a.big.block.for.forgiveness ..This.can.begin.to.vanish.if.we.can.affirm.a.willingness.to.see.other.people.either.as.being.loving.or.as.being.fearful.and.giving.a.call.of.help.for.love ..When.you.do.this,.you.no.longer.interpret.other.people’s.behavior.to.determine.if.they.are.guilty.or.innocent ..You.stop.seeing.other.people.as.attacking.but.either.as.loving.or.as.fearful.and.giving.a.call.of.help.for.love ..(This.can.also.be.used.with.a.part.of.yourself )

Compassion VisualizationFrom.Forgiveness is a Choice by.Robert.D .Enright,.Ph D

...The.following.is.a.guided.imagery.for.developing.compassion

...In.a.quiet.place.where.you.will.not.be.disturbed,.sit.in.a.comfortable.chair ..Close.your.eyes.and.take.a.few.deep.breaths ..While.relaxed,.concentrate.on.your.heart,.its.warmth,.its.sense.of.well-being ..When.you.are.ready,.think.of.a.person.with.whom.you.have.an.excellent.relationship,.one.that.is.free.of.deep.conflict ..Slowly.bring.him.or.her.into.your.heart ..You.might.want.to.think.of.an.affirmative.thought.such.as.“I.hope.that.(name.him.or.her).has.happiness.and.peace ”..What.do.you.feel?...Repeat.the.exercise.thinking.of.the.one.who.has.hurt.you ..When.relaxed,.focus.on.your.heart.and.slowly.bring.the.person.into.your.heart.with.a.positive.affirmation ..Do.not.feel.discouraged.if.the.first.few.times.you.feel.annoyance.and.not.peace ..This.approach.takes.time.to.learn ..You.do.not.switch.from.feelings.of.anger.to.ones.of.kindness.and.peace.just.because.you.tried.this.exercise.a.few.times ..However,.in.time,.taking.the.image.of.the.person.into.your.heart.may.lead.to.a.new.association,.one.of.relaxation.and.warm.well-being,.when.thinking.of.him.or.her .(This.can.also.be.used.with.a.part.of.yourself )

Forgiveness AffirmationFrom.You Can Heal Your Life by.Louise.L .Hay

...An.affirmation.that.sets.you.free:

...“I.forgive.you.for.not.being.the.way.I.wanted.you.to.be ..I.forgive.you.and.I.set.you.free ”

Quantum Techniques Healing Code for Forgivenesse,.eb,.g50,.sh,.g50,.sh,.eb,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.lf,.e,.mf,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.e,.mf,.lf,.third.eye,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.oe,.a,.c,.9g,.un,.un,.standard.chakra.pattern.#1.one.time ..Hold.palms.over.heart


“Each day began to offer me authentic moments of pleasure and contentment. But hadn’t they before? The difference was that I was now noticing and appreciating each day’s gifts. The power of gratefulness caught me by surprise.”Sarah.Ban.Breathnach.–.Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy

Beyond Forgiveness

...Several.of.the.writers.I.reviewed.remarked.that.“A.life.well.lived.is.the.best.revenge ”..The.shift.to.a.life.well.lived.is.the.focus.of.this.section ..There.are.countless.books.written.on.the.subject,.and.what.follows.are.but.a.few.suggestions.to.help.you.make.a.shift.from.rehashing.your.grievances.to.focusing.on.more.positive.things,.like.gratitude,.love.or.the.appreciation.of.nature ..Using.Dr .Luskin’s.metaphor.of.the.mind.as.a.house,.once.you.have.stopped.renting.so.much.space.to.your.wounds.and.grievances,.who.are.your.tenants.going.to.be?..It.is.helpful.to.consider.what.to.put.into.the.space.created.by.forgiving.so.that.you.do.not.return.to.painful.events.simply.out.of.habit

To.help.with.this.shift,.Dr .Luskin.uses.another.metaphor,.seeing.your.mind.as.a.TV.screen.and.what.you.see.and.hear.as.a.TV.program ..Imagine.that.you.have.a.remote.control.that.changes.the.channel.you.are.viewing.in.the.mind ..Rather.than.viewing.the.grievance.channel,.Dr .Luskin.suggests.that.you.program.your.remote.to.regularly.tune.into.the.gratitude,.beauty,.love.and.forgiveness.channels.and.offers.the.following.suggestions.to.improve.reception.(what.follows.is.a.partial.list):

Gratitude.Channel• If.you.have.a.significant.other,.thank.this.person.for.caring.for.you ..Make.it.a.point.to.do.this.

every.day • As.you.wake.up.each.morning,.give.thanks.for.your.breath.and.the.gift.of.your.life • Walk.to.your.nearest.supermarket.and.give.thanks.for.the.abundance.of.food.available • In.your.home,.give.thanks.for.all.of.the.labor.that.went.into.making.your.furniture,.appliances.

and.food • Remind.yourself.of.any.kind.act.done.by.your.parents

Beauty.Channel• When.stuck.in.traffic,.notice.the.beauty.of.the.sky.or.the.remarkable.movement.of.birds.or.

clouds • Find.a.favorite.spot.in.nature.that.you.can.go.to.easily ..Remember.what.that.spot.looks.and.

feels.like • Deeply.appreciate.your.favorite.piece.of.music • Walk.slowly.and.absorb.the.smells.and.sights.of.nature • Notice.how.attractive.the.people.you.love.look


Forgiveness.Channel• Practice.forgiveness.for.the.littlest.offenses.against.you • Forgive.the.driver.who.cuts.you.off.in.the.road • Read.books.about.people.who.have.forgiven.hurtful.situations • Practice.forgiving.for.just.a.minute.at.a.time • Notice.how.you.naturally.forgive.those.you.love

Love.Channel• Look.for.people.who.are.in.love.and.smile.at.their.happiness • Remember.the.times.in.your.life.when.you.were.loved • Remember.the.times.in.your.life.when.you.were.loving • Look.for.memories.of.kindness.done.for.you.by.your.parents • Ask.yourself.what.you.can.do.to.become.a.more.loving.person

Focusing.on.gratitude.is.so.important.to.Sarah.Ban.Breathnach.that.she.lists.it.as.the.first.step.on.the.Simple.Abundance.path.and.states.that.the.other.principles:..Simplicity,.order,.harmony,.beauty.and.joy.will.not.blossom.and.flourish.without.it ..She.recommends.keeping.a.Gratitude.Journal.in.which.you.write.5.things.each.day.for.which.you.are.grateful ..This.sets.in.motion.an.ancient.spiritual.law:..the.more.you.have.and.are.grateful.for,.the.more.will.be.given.you ..Using.the.techniques.of.changing.the.channels.on.your.remote.and.keeping.a.focus.on.gratitude.can.help.you.fill.the.space.created.by.forgiveness.with.positive,.uplifting.energies

Louse.Hay.has.an.exercise.to.help.you.learn.to.develop.a.peaceful,.loving.relationship.with.yourself,.which.consists.of.repeating.the.following.affirmation.over.and.over.to.yourself,.“I.APPROVE.OF.MYSELF ”..You.do.this.affirmation.three.to.four.hundred.times.a.day.so.that.it.becomes.a.walking.mantra ..As.you.say.this.affirmation,.you.may.notice.negative.thoughts.coming.up.in.opposition ..It.is.important.to.see.the.thought.for.what.it.is,.another.way.to.keep.you.stuck.in.the.past ..If.this.happens,.gently.say.to.the.thought,.“I.let.you.go ..I.approve.of.myself ”..When.you.can.say.it.to.yourself.when.someone.is.doing.something.you.do.not.approve.of,.you.will.know.that.you.are.growing.and.changing ..Using.positive.affirmations.is.a.way.of.focusing.your.attention.on.what.you.want,.which.causes.it.to.grow.and.become.more.real.in.you.life

Self-nurturing.is.an.important.part.of.the.well.lived.life ..In.The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debby.Ford.suggests.creating.rituals.for.nurturing.yourself ..One.of.these.is.to.take.a.baby.picture.of.yourself.and.put.it.in.a.place.where.you.will.see.it.a.couple.of.times.a.day ..Notice.the.love.and.innocence.you.see.and.use.it.to.connect.to.the.love.and.innocence.in.you ..Think.of.yourself.as.an.innocent.child.who.only.needs.your.love,.care.and.approval ..Imagine.yourself.giving.love.to.this.child.every.day ..Ask.yourself,.

“What.can.I.do.for.this.child.today?..How.can.he.or.she.feel.nurtured.and.loved?”..Listen.to.what.your.inner.voice.tells.you.and.respond ..You.might.need.to.say,.“I.love.you,.accept.you.or.appreciate.you ”..I.often.ask.clients.to.close.their.eyes.and.imagine.themselves.at.a.young.age,.maybe.sitting.in.their.bedroom.at.that.time ..The.client.enters.the.bedroom.as.an.adult.and.has.a.conversation.with.his.or.her.younger.


self,.mostly.listening.and.then.responding,.giving.the.child.what.he.or.she.needs.at.the.time ..Not.only.is.it.a.way.to.nurture.your.inner.child,.it.also.can.give.you.clues.to.what.you.might.need.today.to.nurture.yourself

At.the.foot.of.one.of.the.beds.in.my.Grandmother’s.house,.was.a.cedar-lined.hope.chest ..In.it.lay.hand-embroidered.tea.towels.and.pillow.cases,.linens.and.table.cloths.for.each.of.her.granddaughters ..From.time.to.time,.my.grandmother.and.I.would.sit.and.look.through.the.contents,.dreaming.of.a.future.of.happy.marriages.and.comfortable.homes ..Sarah.Ban.Breathnach.suggests.creating.a.hope.chest,.a.container.into.which.you.can.place.desires.that.cannot.be.immediately.gratified ..These.may.be.a.book.you.would.like.to.read,.a.project.to.finish,.travel.brochures.or.house.plans.-.Something.to.remind.you.of.where.you.are.going,.of.your.hopes.and.wishes ..And.like.my.grandmother.and.I,.periodically.take.some.time.to.look.at.the.contents,.work.on.that.project,.dream.about.the.future

In.his.newest.book,.Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling, Dr .Dyer.encourages.people.to.go.to.a.quiet.place.to.find.inspiration ..This.can.be.a.place.in.nature.or.a.place.within.themselves ..This.is.echoed.by.others.who.recommend.prayer.or.meditation.as.a.way.to.communicate.with.the.Divine.and.stay.connected.and.at.peace ..Beyond.the.more.traditional.ways,.meditation.can.take.many.forms:..Writing.in.a.journal,.gazing.into.a.candle.flame,.concentrating.on.a.single.word.or.poetic.phrase,.setting.out.on.a.walking.meditation ..I.have.kept.a.journal.where.I.wrote.Letters.to.My.Soul ..These.were.intimate.writings.where.I.poured.out.my.deepest.wishes.and.dreams ..Writing.these.letters.keeps.me.connected.to.what.matters.most.to.me.at.the.time

The.following.Breath.of.Thanks,.from.Dr .Luskin,.is.to.help.you.with.your.search.for.beauty.and.gratitude:

1 . Two.or.three.times.every.day.when.you.are.not.fully.occupied,.slow.down.and.bring.your.attention.to.your.breathing

2 . Notice.that.your.breath.flows.in.and.out.without.your.having.to.do.anything ..Put.your.attention.on.your.stomach,.and.as.you.inhale,.allow.the.air.to.gently.push.your.belly.out ..As.you.exhale,.consciously.relax.your.belly.so.that.it.feels.soft

3 . Continue.breathing.this.way.for.about.three.to.five.slow,.deep.breaths 4 . Then.for.each.of.the.next.five.to.eight.inhalations.say.the.words.thank you.silently.to.remind.

yourself.of.the.gift.of.your.breath.and.how.lucky.you.are.to.be.alive ..Often.people.have.a.stronger.response.when.they.imagine.their.experience.of.gratitude.centered.in.their.hearts

5 . After.those.five.to.eights.breaths.of.thanks,.return.to.the.soft.belly.breathing.for.another.one.to.two.breaths

6 . Then.gently.resume.your.regular.activity

Quantum Techniques Healing Code for Gratitudeg50,.sh,.eb,.e,.g50,.sh,.if,.e,.mf,.lf,.liv,.g50,.sh,.e,.g50,.sh,.g50,.sh,.if,.lf,.e,.mf,.g50,.sh,.if,.oe,.a,.c,.9g,.un,.sh,.un,.standard.chakra.pattern.#2.two.times ..Hold.palms.together


Reading.the.Profound.Love.Code,.contained.in.The Quantum Techniques Client Manual.is.another.way.to.shift.your.focus.to.a.positive,.healing.place ..The.list.of.things.that.you.can.do.is.endless.as.are.the.ways.that.you.can.do.them ..Be.willing,.open.your.heart.and.use.your.imagination ..I.am.including.one.last.quote.from.There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem.by.Dr .Dyer ..“The.Final.Analysis”.is.a.version.of.the.“Paradoxical.Commandments”.by.Kent.M .Keith

The.Final.Analysis

People.are.often.unreasonable,.illogical.and.self-centered;.Forgive.them.anyway If.you.are.kind,.people.may.accuse.you.of.selfish,.ulterior.motives;Be.kind.anyway If.you.are.successful,.you.will.win.some.false.friends.and.some.true.enemies;Succeed.anyway If.you.are.honest.and.frank,.people.may.cheat.you;Be.honest.and.frank.anyway What.you.spend.years.building,.someone.may.destroy.overnight;Build.anyway If.you.find.serenity.and.happiness,.they.may.be.jealous;Be.happy.anyway The.good.you.do.today,.people.will.often.forget.tomorrow;Do.good.anyway Give.the.world.the.best.you.have,.and.it.may.never.be.enough;Give.the.world.the.best.you’ve.got.anyway You.see,.in.the.final.analysis,.it.is.all.between.you.and.God:It.was.never.between.you.and.them.anyway

Thank.you.for.joining.me.on.this.journey.of.forgiveness ..I.hope.that.by.taking.it,.you.have.gained.something.to.help.you.on.your.path.of.healing ..If.not.miracles,.I.hope.that.it.will.provide,.at.the.very.least,.freedom.from.the.past.and.peace.in.the.present ..I.hope.that.by.forgiving,.you.can.create.a.space.to.fill.with.dreams.and.your.imagination.of.a.bright.future ..I.wish.you.and.those.you.care.about.only.the.best ..Imagine.that!.


References and Further Reading

The Big Book of Alcoholics AnonymousBorysenko,.Joan ..Inner Peace for Busy PeopleBreathnach,.Sarah.Ban ..Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and JoyCasarjian,.Robin ..Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful HeartDaniel,.Stephen.and.Beth ..“Parts” Theory and Treatment ProtocolDaniel,.Stephen.and.Beth ..The Client Manual for Quantum TechniquesDyer,.Wayne ..Inspiration: Your Ultimate CallingDyer,.Wayne ..Pulling Your Own StringsDyer,.Wayne ..The Power of IntentionDyer,.Wayne ..There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every ProblemDyer,.Wayne ..Wisdom of the Ages: 60 Days to EnlightenmentEnright,.Robert ..Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring HopeFlannigan,.Beverly ..Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Legacy of Intimate WoundsFord,.Debby ..The Dark Side of the Light ChasersFox,.Emmet ..The Sermon on the MountGawain,.Shakti ..The Path of TransformationHay,.Louse.L ..You Can Heal Your LifeJampolsky,.Gerald.G ..Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of AllLuskin,.Fred ..Forgive for GoodMyss,.Caroline ..Anatomy of the SpiritSimon,.Sidney.B .and.Suzanne ..Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Get on With Your LifeSmedes,.Lewis.B ..Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t DeserveSpring,.Janice.Abram.and.Michael ..How Can I Forgive You?Williamson,.Marianne ..Everyday Grace: Having Hope, Finding Forgiveness, and Making MiraclesWilliamson,.Marianne ..Illuminata: A Return to Prayer

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