1 Leader Resources | February 14, 2021 Fix Your Eyes on Jesus’ Path to Reconciliation: "How Often … Will I forgive?” Focus Passage: Matthew 18:15-22 Other Passages Referenced: Deuteronomy 6:4; 1 Samuel 3:10; Proverbs 18:19; 19:11; Jeremiah 17:9; Matthew 5:23–24; 13:9; Galatians 6:1; 2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 3:13; 13:17 Sermon Recap In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus hands us three tools to repair our relationships—go, tell, and listen. When are we to go? Jesus does not instruct us to go and tell someone they have offended us or frustrated us. Nor does He send us to confront those who have different positions than we do on disputable matters such as differences between Calvinists and Arminians, differences about whether all of the gifts of the Holy Spirit are valid for today, differences about the mode and timing of baptism, differences about the roles of men and women in the church and home. Jesus instructs His followers to go to someone who has clearly sinned against him/her. In a complementary passage, Jesus said that if we realized that we have sinned against someone, we are to go to them in an effort to be reconciled (Matt 5:23–24). Whether someone has sinned against you, or you have sinned against your brother or sister, it is your move. How do we go? When approaching someone about sinning against us, we are to be gentle (Gal 6:1); we are to be clear, using Scripture to show where the sin occurred; we are to persist if the one who sinned does not respond to the truth––“hear”. If the person does not hear when we go alone (potentially after more than one conversation), there is a serial process in which we take one or two others with us. God is so concerned about relationships that if the person still does not hear after repeated attempts, we are to take the matter before the whole church. When someone comes to us after having sinned against him/her, we find ourselves on the listening end. To hear well, these diagnostic questions may help: (1) Do I desire the truth more than I desire to be right? (2) Am I sober-minded about the condition of my heart? (Jeremiah 17:9) (3) Am I willing to take full responsibility? (4) Am I willing to say, with God’s help, I will change my behavior? God has also given us the Church to walk through the process of repairing relationships with us. Jesus went to the cross to repair our relationship with Him. Because Jesus has repaired our relationship with Him, we are called to go, tell, and listen to repair relationships with one another. One way we do that is to unite ourselves in a covenant relationship with a local church. Interpretive Helps: To treat a person as a “pagan or a tax collector” means to treat him or her as unredeemed and outside the Christian community. 1 Group Gathering Group Check-in –– Care, Celebration, Encouragement (About 1/3 of meeting time) 1. Informal conversation to allow individuals to catch up with one another. 2. Ask if anyone would share how they’ve been hearing and obeying God’s direction. 1 Craig Blomberg, Matthew, vol. 22, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 279.