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FirstBuild,ThenDemolish
Acollectionofpoems
By:NickFarago
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TableofContents
IntroductionI.Sex
II.Politics
III.ReligionIV.Economics
V.AndOtherObservations
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ThisbookisdedicatedtoMarvinJordan,whosawmethrough.
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Introduction
Mypoetryoriginatesinfree-writing,whichisjustanothernameforstream
ofconsciousnesswriting.Butreally,free-writingstreamsfromthesub-conscious.Mytechniqueistogointoakindofmeditationclosemyeyes,breathe,focusonthe
darkscreenofmyeyelids-andwrite.Whatresultscouldbecalledpoetic:abstract,ramblingdocuments,withwildimageryandsomethingpropheticaboutthem.Thepoemsinthiscollectionarenothingofthesort.Theyrefragmentsoffree-writes,a
productofediting:short,coherent(usually),inspiredbyafewlinesoraphrase,andmanipulatedslightly.Inmyopinion,editingiswherethepoetryhappens.The
deliriousbecomesdigestiblethesubconscious,relatable.
Iheardaninterviewtheotherday,withafictionwriter,whosaidthatthejoboftheartististofillinareasofsilence.Wherepeopledontspeakspeak.Ithink
free-writingfulfillsasimilarpurpose.Inthoseplacesweavoid,weleavebarren,wedontdareventure-free-writingspeaksloudest.Theresult,predictably,isntalways
pretty.Itcanbeprettyfuckedup.ButIdimaginetheintervieweewouldsay:well,
thatsjustpartofthejob. Idliketoprintapoemhere,intheintroduction,thatIcouldntfindaplace
forinthecollection.Ithinkitcomplimentsthefictionwritersinsight.Ithasnotitle;
itgoes:
asapoet,responsibilitiesinfocus:firstbuild,thendemolish
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I.Sex
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whatsripe
isright
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boyclingstobrevity,disaster
approachesofsin
livesinhallwaysbeforehim
thatdarkeyeshaventabandoned
forcesathand:statusofkissesflight,death,oldwomen
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eros
crass,overtsonsassholecoliseum
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oreo
doublestuffedchocolatetouch
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raised
agay
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toast
dread,butterfagspread
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feminist
looselips,Ilikeitlilrecklessbitch
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rape
dateboundducttape
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breakneckMollyBermen,drunkinapuddleoftears,notgettingup
mentalspillage,mydicksorescreaming,Getthefuckoffthefloor!
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playbook
forsure
pokeher
gaybook
dick!just
likeit!
coldbook
wellsee
addme
hobook
yo!thatbitch
likedmyshit!
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slave
pokeitout,stickitineat,sleep,doitagain
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head
decisionsvoidin
theolddelicious
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fliptonguecum
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notingthedepthofourcomments,theextremeofour
longtongues
rotating,makinganightofnotations,grindinginto
sleeplessfiction
wornout,pickedup,inthebedsoccultwhosewordswere-learned
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inbred
knucklesandendshungbeforemen
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murder
jealousyovertookme
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secret
nooneknowsbutthetownsfolk
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queen
dragmuttballstuckedup
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thatbeautifullovescene
whenallcollapses
astheyreabouttoleave
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II.Politics
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lesson
learnfromthedeadorburythem
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wisdom
hohum
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advice
youdontneedtounderstandanideatoactonitsbehalfexploitthat
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dontbeabitch
doit
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tyranny
leanbabylean
dontbeafraidtoidolizeme
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power
kinggazing
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disdick
doinjustice
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pig
lordspokesinroped
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pig-speak
"ListenupBud."
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therewere,sotospeak
manymodesofspeech
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rage
Motherfucker!Cocksucker!
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haggle
Lala.
Rara.
Gimme.
Gimme.
Lolli.
Pop.
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strategy
holdback,holdbackattack
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abombdrops
tosayhello
likeabreakingbranch
thedayexplodes
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oil
battleshipssuckingtit
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power
trainerwatchinemeatlionswatchinhimsleep
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change
toomuchbreakfasttummycanthandleit
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youth
slowly,slowly
sameoldstory
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lose,losechoose
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change
nodof
amob
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whatsjust?whodeserveswhat?
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thekitchenstaff
isblack
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pastime
dickshapedbatbigandblack
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partisan
distinguishedmass,tokenandrhymingheadinthewall,anddickrising
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III.Religion
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order
therewasdepththenGod,then
acircledrawn
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word,and
Manbegan
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seven
andGodrested
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Aservant,saidtheLord
andawifewasborn
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eve
careeningintoscratchfeelingfaith,virginity,fallreaching
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dust
tous
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fag
I'masonthatdeserves
todiewithoutflowers
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IdreamtIwasthrownintoapitinthewilderness,withnowaterinit
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whatcouldIdointhedroughtbutrape
whenthefoodwent,andthethirstcame?
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deardeath...
donttakemeyet
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martyr
Illsingasong
toanyone
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blooddepartedfromtheson
gazedhalfheartedly,sungmama,mama
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sunset
redclouds:godsheadblownout
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thehumorofbeingalive?
wereallgonnadie!
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ifIonlyhadmoretime
tobealive...
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time
longwaytogo
whenyourealone
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blessed
Imoneofthementowhomlightningflashes,abovetheirhead
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stompanigger
glory,hallelujah!
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after,wewalkedfarawayfrompeople
thetracksofourmemoriesinthe
ridgedsprucealongtheriver(itsbankslikethesedimentofourdenial)
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oncetherewasastormitrippedthroughthemeadow
nowtheresapoetshewalksthecitiedearth,andnooneknowsher
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limitation
astormobliviousinrage,blackedoutindestruction-peoplehide,andafterward,measurementsaretaken
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studiesshow:
wedontknow
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themdevils,themshrinks
themwhitiestryinastraightenmykinks!
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blessedtheluckofourfamily,blessedthesockswewear
blessedtheinnovationthathaskeptusfrommeasles,labor
thesmokeofwhips,thepopeinoureyes,blessedtheseambeneathus!(blessedthemaidthatcleansus,andblessedshestays
ifshewantsherpay)
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IV.Economics
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i
justalittleletter
justalittlebetter!
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whatdo
youdo?
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youhungry?
gotmoney?
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power
wantdinner?wedeliver
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itcostmoney,sothechildasked,Why?
wesaid,Because.sothechildfellquiet
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weekandweekends
takeyourmeds
weekandweekends
thenyouredead
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thekeywordin
thissentence:win
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excel
deathsentence,cellsdivestthefreefrompossessed
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RIP
DVD
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testimonyofsomemadtime:
westernfrontier,circa1880
amountainofbuffalohide
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invest
boughtlandinbedlam
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work
Igetpaid12bucksanhourtowatchinanimateobjects
watcheachother
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money
likelactatecivility
thetitweeps
hotmilkonacleanplateplease
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penniesslottedintome
likepenniesinaslotmachine
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timetomoveon
butmycardontrun
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fellinthegutter,noonearound
triedtogetup,butfellbackdown
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gunpoint
droppedtohisknees
sweatingprofusely
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scared?
Imheretokill,destroy,sethomesaflameyourchildrenareinside,andImanoname
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banks
bonds,bugs,flyandfloodtheriverloansriverragedandsweptuphomes
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(wasp)
Ineversawanythingsoh(aw)ribble
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twokindsofpeople:
thosewhotakeabooth
andthosewhotakeatable
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bornblack
imaginethat
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Idontknow
contentoverload
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daddyscreddy
swipe(aintitnice?)swipe,swipe
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mule
magicdividepoppedbelly:high
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fountain
penniesfliploveloungingaround
atthebottomofthepondweflipflipagain,andpenniesfloatdown
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V.Andotherobservations
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rumget
medumb
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life
1and2,beenaroundbeenthrough
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afterdying,mywritingswillbe
amemoryofme-ofhim,Imean
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grave
intheearththeremyolddog:Bear
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Cassius
barksfillthecovemydogloveshisechoes
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thisis:
afish
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Charliebird
besidewindowsbaiting
birdincheek,Charlie,hisscreams,thebirdsings
ironcreasing,betweenwindowsbirdsaresleepingthesunisrising,fishswimunharmedfrommoonlightfeeding
allswooshing,breaking,theirshardsunseen,glimmeringbutwesee,justoureyes,notjustme,thebirdsrising
ironcreased,Charliescreaming
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dirtyblunt:
yayandbud
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relapse
Iwasdocile,likepavementfeltdreary,thendripped
likecement:painless
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suicide
steakforbreakfast
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country
cowtippinburgerflippin
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chipotle
sit,eataslugshit,applaud
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justwasting
thedayaway
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smalltown
pinetrees,starshuffingpaintinparkedcars
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Mainewinter
stickyer'dickinchickenbrothandchewonbeefjerky
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blackhole
aclockburnedthroughthedustandmadeaholewherenothingwas
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likewax:melt
harden,crack
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story
madeafriendhestolemygirl
Ishothimdead
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imaginethelightandtheframe:
hisfacesoaked,heartpoundingstormcloudsandswingsofrain
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sailor
storms,needles,thefarshoreglorythatdontexistnomore
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tornado
womenweepoverphotosindebris