FCM Newsletter 2009_V1 (Jan-Mar 09)

8/8/2019 FCM Newsletter 2009_V1 (Jan-Mar 09)

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veryone is a philosopher when it

comes to love. Definitions are a dime

a dozen. Love is, says one person, a many,

splendid thing. Another sings, love is a rose,

fragrant and beautiful, but thorny and painful,and another suggests that love means never

having to say youre sorry. Shakespeare

wrote in Merchant of Venice, love is blind.

Gilbert said, its love that makes the world

go round, and Tennyson suggested that it is

better to have loved and lost than never to

have loved at all. I am convinced, however,

that most people, if forced to define love,

could do no better than Thomas Middleton:Love indeed is anything, yet indeed is

nothing. The modern mind thinks of love in

vague, nebulous, existential, and non definable

terms. Its something that happens to you,

people say, not something that you can

define.

This emotional, feeling-oriented, brand

of love is promoted not only in music and

literature, but by the popular media culture. Television promotes the love as

romance/passion model so relentlessly, that

even many Christians are confused about this

important subject. In fact, Hollywood has so

successfully infiltrated the Church with its

view of romantic love, that the person who

questions it or attempts to suggest an

alternative position is suspect as an unrealistic,

unfeeling odd-ball, if he is even understood. Iam aware of that risk as I write. As I proceed

to expose the unbiblical notions people have

concerning love, and attempt to

reprogramme the readers mind to think about

this subject Scripturally, I expect someone will

begin to feel sorry for my wife, or say, Im

sure glad Im not married to you. But I

proceed, because of a deep conviction that

misunderstanding about love is at the heart ofmost relational problems.

2009/1 FCM Newsletter Jan Mar 2009

THINKING

BIBLICALLY

ABOUT

BYMICHAEL L GOWENS

Special Wedding FeatureFCM ALUMNI

WEDDING BELLS

Herbert & Zuyi

David & Cindy

Benson & Felicia


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Old Wives Fables

Misconceptions about love are

commonplace, even among professed Bible

believers. The need for clear-headed, Biblicalthinking about love in this day of

disintegrating families, pandemic divorce, and

domestic redefinition cannot be exaggerated.

Lets highlight some of the most popular

myths and old wives fables regarding love.

Fable #1: Love is something one

falls into, something out of onescontrol, something that cannot be helped.

Most people, like poor Woody Allen, are

miserable because they look for love in all the

wrong places. Like the impotent man by the

pool of Bethesda, they spend their days

waiting for the moving of the water, waiting for

something to happen to them magically and

suddenly, waiting for their ship to come in,

oblivious to the fact that the only One whocan truly transform a life stands in their midst,

ready to bless those who will trust and obey

Him (John 5). Like the impotent man, most

people think of love magically, as something

that happens to them, over which they have

no control. For example, a man falls in love

with a woman. It is love at first sight. Five

years later, he decides that he doesnt love her

anymore, and in fact, wonders if he evertruly loved her at all. So, he leaves,

justifying his actions by the I-cant-help-

how-I-feel excuse. Society agrees that he is

right to leave since he no longer feels anything

for her, and even commends his bold step as

an act of self-honesty: If he is telling the

truth for the first time, then hes to becommended for stepping forth and living a lie

no longer. Life is too short to spend it with

someone you dont love. His wife must realize

that you cant make another person love you.

According to the secular mentality, this

husband would be a hypocrite if he stayed

with his wife. Better to be honest with oneself,

it rationalizes, than to live in hypocrisy.

It sounds logical, doesnt it? I mean, if

he doesnt love her anymore, what else can he

do? Right? Wrong! Contrary to the popular

definition, hypocrisy is not action contrary to

ones feelings (i.e. feeling one way but doing

another) but action contrary to ones

profession (i.e. saying one thing but doing

another). If we say we that we have fellowship with

him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not thetruthsays John (1 John 1:6). He that saith, I

know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a

liar, and the truth is not in him (1 John 2:4).

Hypocrisy is the failure to practise what you

preach, not the denial of some inner emotion.

When Jesus called the Pharisees hypocrites,

was He saying that they were not being honest

with themselves? Did He accuse them of

living contrary to their feelings? No, Heaccused them of giving lip service to the Law

of God while refusing to practice its tenets.

Society conditions us to think of

feelings as the ultimate guide to behaviour. It

cant be wrong when it feels so right, a song

popularized in the 1970s suggested.

Somehow, we have come to believe that

emotions are indicators of reality and tocontradict them is tantamount to hypocrisy.

Someone says, I would have been at church


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yesterday, but I didnt feel very spiritual and I

didnt want to be a hypocrite. May I suggest

that the person who has named the name of

Christ in public profession acts hypocritically

by staying home, not by contradicting hisemotions, because his action is inconsistent

with the profession he made to follow Jesus

Christ. The prevalent idea that a behaviour

orientation (i.e. doing right because it is right)

toward life is sub-spiritual and that only a

feeling orientation (i.e. doing right only if you

feel like it) is pleasing to God is unbiblical.

Undoubtedly, because this husband

had promised, before God, to love his wife

until death, his hypocrisy was in the act of

deserting his wife, not in staying with her and

fulfilling his marriage vows. The world says,

at least he was honest. Gods Word says,

he was supremely dishonest, for he broke the

vow he had made before God.

Have you ever thought about such a

familiar scenario as Ive described from this

Biblical perspective? Im convinced many

people have not. In fact, many Christians

would be surprised to know that the Bible

says nothing about a kind of love one falls

into.

Fable #2 - Romantic love is thebasis for marriage. Without question, most

people believe that it is wrong to get married

when romantic love is absent. In Biblical

times, however, marriages were frequently

arranged by parents. On many occasions, a

husband never laid eyes on his wife until he

removed the veil on the wedding day.Granted, such practices are difficult for

people in a culture like ours to conceive. I am

personally grateful that I had a choice in the

selection of a life partner; nevertheless, the

pre-arranged relationships of eastern cultures

were just as viable, if not more, than modern

marriages in the west.

It may surprise the reader to know thatpeople actually once covenanted in marriage

though they were not romantically involved

and proceeded to develop a fulfilling, durable,

and enjoyable relationship. How did they do it?

They learned to love one another. Learned

to love? Yes, learned to love. This does not

sound nearly so foreign when one remembers

the structure of the traditional wedding

ceremony. During the ceremony, the ministerdoes not attempt to discern whether the

couple loves one another. He asks each to

promise and to vow to love the other. He

does not ask, Do you really feel love, true

love, for each other? He insists that they

consider love as an obligation of marriage:

Will you promise to love... until death do you

part?


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Promise to love? You may wonder,

How can someone learn to have a feeling?

How can someone promise to feel a certain

way until death? Thats exactly the point: he

cant. Emotions are by their very natureunsteady, inconsistent, and ambivalent. They

vacillate with the ebb and flow of

circumstances. But love, according to Gods

definition, is not primarily a feeling, but

an action. Biblical love is not the victim of

ones emotions, but the servant of ones will.

Marriages are predicated, consequently, on

each partners pledge to commit themselves

to act toward the other in a certain way, the way Gods Word calls love. Even if the

warm fuzzes of romance are absent; even

when the novelty of the relationship has

lapsed into the familiar; even when the initial

emotional intensity has levelled off, a couple

can still cultivate a loving, satisfying, and

God-honouring relationship that is based on

a mutual commitment to the others

welfare and obedience to the Word of God.In fact, that is the marital ideal, according to

the Bible.

Fable #3 - Loving oneself is basic

and fundamental to a happy, stable life. It

was once generally accepted that mans

greatest problem was pride, an inordinate self-

interest. Now society tells us that mans

greatest problem is that he thinks, not too

highly of himself but too lowly. He has low

self-esteem. Virtually every vice, from

disruptive behaviour to murder, is interpreted

as an expression of low self-esteem.

Interpreting human behaviour through the

philosophical grid of victimism,

psychotherapists suggest that the perpetrator

cannot really be blamed for his conduct. He ismerely reacting to circumstances that

displease him because he has no inner sense

of significance and personal worth. What he

needs, they say, before he can function

properly in a social context, is a new

appreciation for his own uniqueness, a new

sense of his own importance and dignity.

Once he has developed this love of self, we

are told he will have the motivation to resistdrugs, make good grades, and overcome the

feelings of despair that come with lifes

inevitable disappointments.

Pop singer Whitney Houston

promotes the gospel of self-love in a

contemporary song:

I believe that children are our future;

Teach them well, and let them learn the way;

Teach them all the beauty they possess inside;

Give them a sense of pride...

The message is subtly packaged in a

beautiful musical arrangement, accented by

Houstons captivating voice. She continues:

I determined long ago, never to walk in anyones shadow,

If I fail, if I succeed, at least Ill live and die, believing,

No matter what they take from me,

They cant take away my dignity;

Because the greatest love of all, is happening to me;

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

Is the gospel according to Whitney

consistent with the gospel according to Jesus?

What did Jesus say was the greatest love of

all? Learning to love yourself? Absolutely not!

According to the Lord Jesus Christ, Greaterlove hath no man than this, that a man lay down his


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life for his friends (John 15:13). The Lord

interprets love in terms of self-sacrifice, or if

you please, unselfishness, not self-

centeredness and self-concern.

Far from producing happiness and

stability, self-love breeds heartache and

confusion. Marriages disintegrate, not thrive,

when selfishness prevails. The moment each

partner begins to prioritize self before the

other, the relationship is destined to fail. What

would happen to a family of five if every

member adopted a self-absorbed mentality? If

each lived for himself and not for the other,what would become of the family? Sadly, the

answer to that question is all too apparent in

the demise of the home in western culture.

Im not getting what I want out of

this relationship, one mate says to another.

I dont think I love you anymore. I suggest

that this person has not even started to

understand the meaning of love. In fact, I

maintain that many people who say I love

you are really saying, in the words of the

automobile commercial, I love what you do

for me. Self-love is not missing; love is. I

dont think I love you anymore means You

dont do for me what you once did and I love

myself too much to stay here any longer.

Self-love, expressing itself in self-protection,

self-defensiveness, self-assertiveness, and self-

righteousness destroys relationships. It

doesnt build them. Christianity, on the other

hand, expressing itself in self-denial, self-

humbling, self-forgetfulness, and self-sacrifice

provides a rock-solid foundation for a

marriage that sings.

People do not have to learn to love

themselves. Because man was created in the

image of God, he is a self-conscious creature.

Sin has perverted and distorted this natural

self-awareness, however, so that fallen man

tends to idolize and deify the self devoting his

every energy and affection to the service of

the self. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh

argues Paul (Ephesians 5:29). If a man has aheadache, he takes an aspirin, because he

loves himself too much to allow his body to

hurt. If he is fatigued, he rests, because he

loves himself too much to allow himself to be

uncomfortable. On the basis of this principle,

Paul argues that men should love their wives

like they love their own bodies. In other

words, a man should take the same pains to

relieve his wifes burdens and promote her welfare that he takes for his own body. His

primary interest should be her well being, not

his own comfort. That is real love-selfless,

sacrificial behaviour that esteem other better than

themselves(Philippians 2:3). This kind of love

must be learned and developed, for it

doesnt come naturally. But in a fallen world,

it is the only kind of love that will produce the

happiness that comes from a stablerelationship.

Three Kinds of Love

What then is the Biblical view of love?

It is expressed by the Greek word agape.

Interestingly, agape was virtually a Christian

invention. Prior to the New Testament, agape

was used rarely in Greek literature. The New

Testament elevates agapeto prominence as the

single concept that best expresses the


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meaning of love. Agape is the God-kind of

love. It is a brand of love that is virtually

unknown to modern man. Instead, people

think of love in terms of two other Greek

nouns, eros, passionate or romantic love, andphileo, friendship or brotherly love.

(1) Eros - Romantic Love: When

most people think of love, they think in

terms of eros (from which we derive the

English erotic). Kittles Theological

Dictionary of the New Testament says

concerning the Grecian concept of eros: Thisis the passionate love that desires the other for itself.

The god Eros compels all but is compelled by none...

eros masters us and confers supreme bliss thereby... the

original idea is that of erotic intoxication.(p7)

This passionate, self-centred,

uncontrollable, intoxicating love is

promoted by virtually every sector of our

society. Romance novels, motion pictures,

floral companies, and record labels feed on

the public appetite for eros.

Does such a thing as eros, that is,

romance, really exist? Why, certainly. But it is

not synonymous with Biblical love. In fact,

erosis love in its crudest and lowest form. The

high and noble concept of Biblical love is

something entirely different. Yet when most

people look for love, claim to be in love,

or express love to someone else, they are

thinking in terms oferos. To them, romance is

lifes supreme glory and matrimonys supreme

achievement. When a couple possesses eros,

they believe that they have finally secured that

rarest of all gems, the priceless jewel oflove. They have arrived.

They fail to realize, however, that this

romantic attraction is, first of all, not very rare,

and secondly, only the beginning, not the

point of arrival, of a godly relationship. Erosis

the kindergarten of love. It is the phase in a

relationship when two people are attracted to

one another, physically, emotionally, and/orintellectually with a magnetic fascination. It is

the same kind of natural attraction that

motivates a female bird to select one mate

above several rivals, each vying for her

attention. That is not to say that erosis strictly

a form of animal passion, for, in contrast to

animals, people may very well experience an

attraction at the intellectual and emotional

levels, as I mentioned previously. But, like thebird, different people have different personal

preferences and what appears attractive to one

person may not appeal to another.

This attraction manifests itself by an

unusual preoccupation with another person.

When separated, the heart longs for his

company. When together, the stomach

flutters, the palms become clammy, and the

couple becomes oblivious to everything

around them. This is the kind of experience

that makes young people cow eye and

makes old people feel young again.

I dont deny that such a phenomena as

eros exists. Further, I concede that most

relationships begin at this level. But this is not

lovenot Biblical love, at least.

Because so many people mistake

romance for love, it is no wonder that married


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people fall out of love as quickly as they

fell into it. Once the novelty and the sense

of mystery is gone; once the initial excitement

has been replaced by the routine of daily

responsibilities; once one knows the otherperson through and through; once one

becomes utterly familiar with the faults,

foibles, and idiosyncrasies of ones partner,

those mellow, dreamy feelings can all too

easily slip away.

Neither is it a wonder when one

partner suddenly announces that he has

fallen in love with someone else and, in fact,has not been in love with his spouse for

years. How can these things happen?

someone asks. Why do people lose that

loving feeling? Because they mistake erosfor

love. The individual who convinces himself

that love lost in one relationship can be

recaptured in an adulterous relationship will

eventually leave that relationship for yet

another, and that for another, for he is livingby his feelings, and the intensity of romance

inevitably wanes as the sense of mystery fades

into the realm of the utterly familiar.

Just because someone may seem

interesting, fascinating, or attractive to you

does not mean that you are in love with

him. In fact, everyone will periodically come

into contact with others who possess

characteristics that intrigue and attract

attention. The individual who loves his/her

spouse Biblically, however, will recognize this

magnetism for what it is, an untrustworthy,

temporary, and potentially destructive

emotion, and will permit it no entrance into

his thoughts.

Sadly, most people make the discovery

and perpetuation of eros the goal of their

relationship. Even in Christian circles,

romance is frequently exalted as the marital

ideal. Christian books on marriage often

emphasize the love as romance model,

suggesting that the honeymoon doesnt have

to end. Is this a legitimate emphasis? Perhaps.But the point is that romance is not, in and of

itself, the essential ingredient of a marriage

that glorifies God and brings fulfilment to

each respective partner-love is.

(2) Phileo - Friendship Love:

Recognizing societys misdirected emphasis

on eros, some married couples have aspired to

a higher level in their relationship and have

redefined the marital ideal in terms of

enjoying the others company. My

husband is my best friend, says one wife.We just enjoy being together. We can talk to

each other about anything and everything.

Not only do we love, we also like each other.

The Greek wordphileo, translated love in

the New Testament, conveys the thought of

friendship love. English words Philanthropy

(love of mankind), philosophy (love of

wisdom), and philharmonic (love of harmony)are compounds of phileo, as is the proper

name Philadelphia (brotherly love). The word


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means to treat somebody as ones own

relative and is used in common Greek for

love between spouses, between parents and

children, between employers and employees,

and between friends.

Phileo conveys the idea of a common

interest. Like eros, it is a concept that involves

the feelings. The word carries various

emotional nuances, including to be content

with, to have warm affection for, and to

like or value. Unlike the Greek term eros,

which never appears in Scripture,phileo

appears some thirty times in the NewTestament.Is the friendship kind of love

important in a relationship? Yes. In fact, God

gave marriage, first and foremost, to satisfy

mans need for companionship: It is not good

that the man should be alone; I will make him an

help meet for him(Genesis 2:18). Togetherness,

consequently, is essential to a godly marriage:

For this cause shall a man leave his father and

mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two

shall be one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). The one-

flesh nature of the marital relationship makes

the cultivation of a friendship between

husband and wife a priority.

It is imperative, therefore, that couples

take time to communicate, spend time

together, make eye contact, and be attentiveto each other. By nothing more than mere

negligence, many people lose that person-to-

person contact that is so necessary to

maintain a viable marriage. He becomes

preoccupied with work, cutting the grass,

servicing the car, and paying the bills, and she

tends to throw all of her energies into cooking

the meals and taking care of the children, until

they one day awaken to the fact that they are

virtual strangers to each other. Togetherness

is the key word here, not mere geographic

togetherness (though physical presence is

important), but a sharing of the blessings and

burdens, laughter and tears, hopes and

disappointments, of every day experience as ateam and a unit. In the harried pace of daily

life-in the mad rush to fulfil family

responsibilities, husbands and wives who do

not take time to maintain and improve

interpersonal contact between themselves will

soon discover a distance between them that

seems impossible to bridge. Such a

relationship is not consistent with the Biblical

mandate to cleave to one another in acovenant of companionship.

Perhaps a wife who feels neglected or

a husband who feels overlooked is reading my

words. You can say a hearty Amen to the

previous two paragraphs. This is the message

you have been trying to get across to your

mate over the past few months. You are dying

for his/her attention. You feel unlovedbecause your mate seems to have no time for

you. Your marriage lacks, not passion, but

friendship. This is, in your mind, your greatest

desire in marriage. If you could just

experience this kind of friendship with your

spouse, a real relationship, not a mere

coexistence, then you would have found true

love.

Well, as important asphileo is in a

marriage, it is still not the essence of Biblical

love. It is not the ideal. It is not Gods goal

for us. May I make a startling statement?

Even in relationships devoid of romance and

friendship, a couple may still learn to love. In

other words, a successful marriage is not

ultimately dependent on either eros or phileo.

Even if you and your mate have long sincelost the intensity of romantic passion, and

even if you scarcely know one another


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anymore, you can still cultivate a loving

relationship through the practice of agape. A

marriage without erosandphileo is not destined

to fail, but a marriage without agapeis.

(3) Agape - Sacrificial Love: Im

convinced that most people do not think

about love Biblically. What we mean when we

talk about love and what God means when

He talks about love are two different things.

In fact, the eros and phileo concepts are so

deeply ingrained into our intellectual grid of

life that agape may be, upon first glance,somewhat repugnant to us. After all, it sounds

so unromantic. It is so contrary to what

Ive always thought, someone says. But agape

is the word the Holy Spirit employs (and in

fact, virtually coins) to define love over two

hundred fifty times in the New Testament.

What is this foreign kind of love

known as agape? It is the kind of love that

God has for His elect. God does not love His

people because He is attracted to them, for

there is nothing attractive in them. God

determined to love them in spite of their sin:

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that,

while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

(Romans 5:8). Gods love is an act of the will,

not of the emotions. It is something He

decides to do, not something He passivelyfeels.

Further, he expressed his love by

voluntarily giving His own Son to die for

those whom He had purposed to redeem.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only

begotten son... (John 3:16). He covenanted,unilaterally, to do everything necessary for

their salvation. God the Son committed

himself to bear their iniquities and to suffer

the wrath of God in their stead. Voluntarily,

He divested Himself of His divine

prerogatives, subjecting Himself to death,

even the ignominious death of the cross. John

writes, Hereby perceive we the love of God, because

he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay downour lives for the brethren(1 John 3:16).

Love, the God-kind of love, is defined

by the cross. There we learn that agape

involves a commitment to the welfare of

another without any consideration of

worthiness in the loved one.Agape is a love

that gives to others, not that desires for

oneself. It is self-sacrifice with an aim to makethe loved one great. In a word, agap e isselflessness.

The key words in the definition are

commitment, others, giving, and self-

sacrifice. In simple terms, love is a way of

behaving toward another person, not a

nebulous, mystical emotion.

In Scripture, love is a command. Weare commanded to love God and love our

neighbour (Matthew 22:37). Jesus said, A new

commandment I give unto you, That ye love one

another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one

another(John 13:34). Paul said, Husbands, love

your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and

gave himself for it;(Ephesians 5:25). Note he

does not say, Husbands, feel affectionate arid

romantic toward your wives.No, feelings cannot

be commanded, but love can, for love is an


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act of the will, something that one makes up

his mind to do and then he does it. Pauls

words, written in the imperative mood,

express a command that husbands are obliged

to obey. Husbands are under an obligation tosacrifice their own comforts and needs for

the benefit of their wives, in the same way

that the Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself

for the church. Likewise, Jesus issues the

imperative, Love your enemies(Matthew 5:44).

Does Jesus want us to drum up pleasant

emotions for those who have abused us?

Obviously not. He commands us to love them

by choosing to show them favour andgoodwill.

The Profile of Agape

In specific terms, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

profiles the characteristics of Biblical love:

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth

not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Dothnot behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not

easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in

iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things,

believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all

things.

Did you notice that Paul does not

describe what love is, but what love does? He

does not use adjectives to describe love. Hedoes not say Love is beautiful or Love is

wonderful. Instead, he uses verbs, words of

action, to describe love: Love is patient and

kind; love is not jealous, self-promoting,

proud, rude, selfish, angry or suspicious.... If

you really love someone else, says Paul,

you will treat them with patience,

kindness, and unselfishness. Do you realize

what that means? That means that when oneis impatient, unkind, jealous, and rude to

someone else, he does not love that other

person.

The profile of love in 1 Corinthians 13

can be summarized in four categories:

(1) Loves Heart (vs 4a,5c) - The

person who loves another behaves in

kindness, patience, and tenderness. Everyaction is born from a sincere desire for the

happiness of the loved one. Love does not

have a short fuse (is not easily provoked)

but is slow to wrath, suffering long with the

faults and imperfections of the loved one.

Love is the act of showing patience, not

irritability, when others falter, and kindness,

which is the proof of patience. Love doesnt

nitpick at petty annoyances.

Do you love your mate? Let me

rephrase the question. Do you respond to

your spouses little quirks and annoyances in

patience and kindness? If not, start now, for

God commands you to love.

(2) Loves Attitude (vs 4b-5b) - Love

displays itself by a commitment to unselfish

living. Notice the emphasis on self in verses

four and five: Charity envieth not [i.e. is not


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self-protecting]; charity vaunteth not itself [i.e.

is not self-promoting], is not puffed up [i.e. is

not self-inflated], doth not behave itself

unseemly [i.e. is not self-glorifying], seeketh

not her own [i.e. is not self-seeking]. Simplyput, love is not selfish.

Analyze the next argument you have

with your spouse. How many times did each

of you use the word I? Nine times out of

ten, selfishness is at the root of marital

conflict. Pride, self-interest, and egotism are

the antitheses of love. Love is never rude or

jealous. It esteems the other more importantthan itself. Do you love your spouse? Let me

rephrase the question. Are you denying

yourself for your partners benefit? If not,

then start now, for God commands you to

love.

(3) Loves Judgment (vs 5d-6) -

These two expressions, i.e. love thinketh no

evil and love rejoiceth not in iniquity but in

the truth, express what might be termed the

judgment of charity. Love involves giving

another the benefit of the doubt and

assuming the best possible motives, not

the worst. Love does not keep a record of

past offenses. It thinketh no evil. Its

judgment therefore is not coloured by

resentment. It does not take into account past

wrongs.

How many married partners have so

allowed past hurts to fill their hearts with

resentment that they automatically assume the

worst motive when the other speaks. Instead

of listening to what is said, they become very

artful at reading between the lines. They

constantly ask each other, What did you

mean by that statement? if the other replies,

I meant nothing more than what I said, they

react, Sure, I know what you were really

saying. They are more inclined to believe the

worst than to believe the truth. Conversation

filled with innuendo is a destructive habit for

couples to develop. But so is the attitude that

insists on reading the worst motives into thethings that one's partner says and does. It is,

in fact, very unloving.

Do you love your spouse? Let me

rephrase the question. Do you automatically

give him/her the benefit of the doubt and

assume the best of motives? If not, then start

now, for God commands you to love.

(4) Loves Tenacity (vs 7-8a) - Thefinal five statements suggest that love does

not cease. Like the rabbit on the battery

commercial, it keeps on going, and going, and

going. In other words, it is impossible for love

to die. Do you believe that statement? Think

about it carefully. I didnt say that its

impossible for romance to die, or for

happiness to die, but for love to die. Neither

did I say that it is impossible for a person to

cease to be committed to the other. But where

commitment is present, it is impossible to

destroy that relationship. Heavy burdens

cannot destroy it, for love beareth all things.

Suspicion cannot destroy it, for love

believeth all things. Discouragement cannot

destroy it, for love hopeth all things.

Difficult trials cannot destroy it, for love

endureth all things. In fact nothing can

destroy it, for love never faileth, that is, it

never ceases. Many waters cannot quench love

(Song of Solomon 8:7).

When one person is committed to self-

sacrifice for the benefit of another, no burden

will be too heavy. Love is the willingness to

bear all burdens, to trust your partner

implicitly, to expect the best, and to endure

the worst. Love is the commitment to keep


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12

on keeping on regardless of circumstances

around you, feelings within you, and

consequences ahead of you. Charity never

faileth.

Do you love your spouse? Let me

rephrase the question. Are you committed to

unselfish living for the long haul? Is that

commitment the sole factor in the future of

your relationship? If not, then start now. Take

the initiative to be kind. Bear insult and injury

meekly. Go out of your way to make your

partner happy. Forget about receiving

anything in return. Commit yourself to a lifeof serving your mate. Away with rude remarks,

biting sarcasms, irritability, judgmental

criticism, and petty egotism. Sacrifice your

own happiness for the happiness of your

companion. Focus on being the kind of

person God requires you to be and dont

attempt to make your mate hold up their side

of the bargain. After all, you promised to love,

until death, period. Regardless of your

spouses behavior, you vowed to love. This is

the kind of love that God commands.

On the authority of Gods Word, I

guarantee that every couple who lives like thiswill never meet a problem that will kill their

relationship, because charity never faileth.

Furthermore, as a by-product of sacrificial

love, the warm feelings of romance and the

quiet contentment of friendship will resurface,

sporadically at first, and more regularly as

your years increasetogether.

Eld Michael Gowens is the Pastor of Lexington Primitive Baptist Church, Lexington, KY, USA.

The above article was originally published in the Nov-Dec 94 issue of Meditations Magazine

(Smithville, GA: Sovereign Grace Publications, 1994), pp 1-6. Reproduced with permission.

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.

Wilbert Donald Gough

In marriage there are three rings

the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring.

Author Unknown

Our love to God is measure by our everyday

fellowship with others and the love it displays.

Andrew Murray

Love means loving the unlovableor it is no virtue at all.

G K Chesterton


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13

FOREWORDBYELD DR BOAZ BOON

Dear FCMers,

I thank God for

His sufficient grace in

the growth of FCM all

these years. The main

purpose of this ministry

is to help Christians

practise Biblical

Separation in the various

institutions of higher learning in Singapore.

The Lord has blessed us with faithfulness

and joy of service in this important area.

However, there is a by-product of this

fellowship i.e., marriage amongst some

brothers and sisters in Christ who served the

Lord together in FCM.

This is indeed a wonderful by-

product. It is so heart-warming to witness so

many marriages within the FCM after the

members have graduated. The Lord has

brought together like-minded God-fearing

Christians in this loving way. FCM also givesthe opportunity for young people from

various BP churches to meet and get to know

one another through wholesome Christian

service. Of course this is not the main aim of

the FCM but it is an essential platform of

blessings that the Lord has raised. Many of

the married couples from the FCM alumni

have continued to serve the Lord fervently in

the various churches they belong to. I praisethe Lord for this.

Let me lovingly exhort you with

Hebrews 10:25, Not forsaking the assembling of

ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but

exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye

see the day approaching.

In Christ,

Eld Dr Boaz Boon

Overall FCM Coordinator

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGEBYREV DR TOW SIANG HWA

1. Thou shalt not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever(2 Cor 6:14). Let God guide you inthe choice of a life partner.

2. Wives submit, husbands loveis Gods way to harmony (Eph 5:22,25).3. Hide no secrets: husband and wife are one flesh(Gen 2:24).


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14

NEWS & NOTES

4. For richer, for poorer operate one bank account.5. Pray, read Gods Word together, morning and evening.6. In dealing with children be united and fair.7. Abstain from favouritism.8. In any disagreement, be ready to saysorry. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath(Eph 4:26).9. Honour Father and Mothermeans double blessing.10.Renew your first lovebefore God often.

NB Matrimony was ordained of God; Hollywood is out to destroy it.

Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa is the Senior Pastor of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.

Congratulations to Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), and Felicia Ong who were

united in Holy Matrimony on September 6, 2008. They are both members of Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian

Church. The wedding was officiated by their Pastor, the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.

Congratulations to Herbert Goh, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2006) & Overall Student Coordinator

(2004-2006), and Ye Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001),who were united inHoly Matrimony on November 22,

2008. Formally from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church, Zuyi now worships with her husband at True Life

Bible-Presbyterian Church. The wedding was officiated by the Rev Dr Prabhudas Koshy.

Congratulations to David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), and Cindy Yeo who were united

in Holy Matrimony on December 13, 2008. They are both members of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian

Church. The wedding was officiated by their Senior Pastor, the Rev Dr Tow Siang Hwa.

Jason Liew, FCM Poly (2003-2006) & present Overall Student Coordinator, transferred his

membership from Truth Bible-Presbyterian Church to Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church on

December 28, 2008.

Jonathan Ng, FCM SMU (2006-date), stepped down as the Student Coordinator of FCM SMU.

Carol Leong, an original founding member at FCM SMUs inception in 2005, is FCM SMUs new Student

Coordinator.

FCM Poly organised an excursion to SP & NP Open House on January 10, 2009.


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15

We like to thank God

for leading us through our

days from singlehood,

courtship to marriage. This

testimony will be based more

on my thoughts, as Herbert

is very tied-down with

schoolwork. Please do pray

for him.

Thank God forproviding a husband like him.

I must say that he has been a

great source of spiritual help

to me. A prayer that I made

many years ago for a

husband has actually

materialized. To be frank, I

even doubted if that guy

exists! Well, thank God he

does.

We first met during

the annual FCM camp in

2003 after completing a year

of studies at the University

of Newcastle, Australia after

my Polytechnic. At first, I

did not have a deep

impression of him, though Idid notice him through his

service in the camp

committee.

After a few more

contacts through group

outings and night classes, I

officially noted him

gradually. Well, I guessed it

was the same for him too!

During this time, there was

much struggle as I was

praying very hard concerning

this matter as I wanted to

know Gods clear leading. So

there were times when I

prayed very precisely

concerning issues thatbothered me concerning him.

Thank God they were

answered and God clear my

thoughts.

When we were

contemplating courtship,

Herbert shared with me that

the purpose of getting

together is not just all about

companionship, but to help

each other to serve and love

the Lord better. That really

struck me and I thought it is

true. Thank God for his

sharing as it really helped us

to have the right focus when

we were together.

Being in different

churches was never easy in a

courtship. We were both

very much involved in our

ministries. There was also

little time to meet up, as

work was tough for both of

us. There were times of trials

and frustrations. But our

good God has kept us

together till the day we took

our vows.

PRAYER FOR A GODLY HUSBAND:

GOH ZUYI SHARES HER TESTIMONYTEXTGOH ZUYI PHOTOSJING KAI


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16

As we start our lives

together, we covet your

prayers that the Lord will

continue to keep us focused.

Thank God for helping meto get a job that has more

flexibility of time so that I

can spend more time to take

care of Herbert and the

house chores.

Personally, I thank

God for FCM Not because

it has helped me, or many

others to find our life

partners; but because I have

gained much spiritually from

the Bible studies and godlyfellowship. Without Gods

Word to guide, it will be vain

to find a partner who is a

Christian in name. So may

the current FCMers stay

focus on seeking Gods

Word and His truth. The

Lord will surely help you to

find your godly partner in

time to come!

I will like to end with one of

our favourite verses, Keep thy

heart with all diligence; for out of

it are the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23

Goh Zuyi, FCM Poly (1999-2001), is worshipping at True Life Bible-Presbyterian Church. She is now a Piano Teacher.


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David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), was able to take time out of his busy schedule and share hiscourtship experience with us. This is what became of it.

Could you please tell us a little bit about yourself and how you came to know the Lord?

Im currently working as a Research Scientist at DSO (Defence Science Organisation). I first

started going to church 16 years ago in 1993 at the age of 11 when my mother brought me to a

church at Meridien Hotel. I was baptised there at the age of 13. Then the worship changed to

become Charismatic and I left soon after. My mother brought me to another church at Carlton

Hotel a few years after but it was Charismatic too and I did not stay long. My mother brought meto yet another church at ACS(I) when I was in JC but felt empty there so I stopped attending.

Then I joined the army. My neighbour, who is from Calvary Pandan (Mandarin Congregation),

invited me to church 8 years ago in 2001 when I was 19. When I told him that I didnt want to

attend a concert church, he assured me that the worship services are very traditional. When he

described the style of worship, the pews and the hymn books, I told him that "this is the church I

have been waiting to go to". So he brought me there, I joined the Mandarin Service and the

Chinese YF. About 2 months later, I switched over to the English Service as I could understand it

better. I remained in the Chinese YF until the end of 2006 before joining CPYAF where I am now.

FROM LAB PARTNER TO LIFE PARTNER:

DAVID POON SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORYINTERVIEWJASON LIEW PHOTOSYAO HUI


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How did you come to know about FCM and what was it which made you stayed on?

There were quite a number of Chinese YF brethren in FCM. Shumin was my YF group leader at

one time and encouraged me to join FCM once I enter NUS. After entering NUS, I immediately

joined FCM. When I first started attending, I was very much pleasantly surprised that there were

people of my age (or close to my age) who knew so much about the Bible. What impressed meeven more is the amount of content that each Bible Study Leader has to offer. Pr Mark Chen was

leading the group then for 6 months, followed by Brother Nelson for two years and subsequently

Ling Kang for another 6 months during my 3 years in FCM. They really dug deep into Gods

Word and fed us with a lot of spiritual meat. The amount of things I have learnt over the years

were tremendous. Thank God for the spiritual blessings and nourishment FCM has given me.

Thats great! Thank God that you have found FCM beneficial. What was it which you

found most memorable about FCM?

Most memorable I would say its the discussion, sharing and prayer that we have after the Bible

Study.

Under what circumstances were you and Cindy acquainted? I heard from her the both of

you were in the same course and year. How did she end up becoming your lab partner

and eventually life partner?

Well it was the beginning of a new semester. Cindy was late for class and everybody had alreadyfound a lab partner. I came even much later so I had to pair up with Cindy. She was a

lost Christian then so I invited her for FCM Combined NUS Gospel Rally and eventually to

SGBF on Reformation Sunday in 2004. It was a semester-long project and we had to submit

reports every 2-3 weeks and there was this one time, we worked till about 10pm so I asked if she

wanted to have dinner together. Eventually, the project was over and we graduated in 2006. Come

to think of it, we were disconnected for about two years. We emailed each other and got

reacquainted in December that year (because she owes me a meal). Heh. Later she started coming

for SGBF regularly and by Gods grace, she was saved on April 23, 2007. On May 13, 2007 she

gave me a reply for the question I asked her on February 14

Ooh what did you ask her?

I asked her if we could be more than friends. She said yes about 3 months later and so our

courtship began. Because we dont see each other very often, probably about 2-3 times a week, we

would call each other at night to share about the daily blessings and struggles that we face. We will

also take turns to share a verse on a different chapter of Proverbs every night. After sharing, we

would pray together for each other over the phone. In the morning, I will give her a call and pray

with her over the phone and commit the day to God in prayer.


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Wah I believe this is something we guys can emulate. How did you propose to her then?

Did you come to Proverbs 31 and asked her to be your wife?

Nope, I didnt. But thats a good idea too. Haha. It was about 7 months into the courtship, in

December 2007, when Cindy together with my mum and younger brother went on a holiday trip

to Tokyo, Japan. She stayed with my mum, and I stayed with my brother. I asked my mum andbrother for their opinions over dinner (without Cindy noticing). Later that night, after we had our

nightly devotion at the lobby of the hotel resort in Mt. Fuji, and when it was past midnight, she

said It's Christmas now and I took out the ring and asked, Will you marry me? She said

Yes.

Praise the Lord. Once again, I would like to wish you and Cindy a blissful marriage for

many, many years to come. Thanks for your time!

Thank you and you are most welcomed.

David Poon, FCM NUS Science (2003-2006), is a member of Calvary Pandan

Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a Research Scientist at Defence Science Organisation (DSO).


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Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), was

able to take time out of his busy schedule and share his

courtship experience with us. This is what became of it.

Hi Benson! Thank God for your

encouraging graduation testimony in the Jul-Sep 08 issue of the FCM Newsletter.

You and Felicia are both teachers, correct?

Yes. Im teaching at Greenview Secondary

School and Felicia is a teacher at Changkat

Changi Secondary School.

This is poetic. I heard that you actually got to know Felicia while you two were still

secondary school students... but did not get together until only about 7 years ago in 2002.

What was the transformation from an unbelieving couple to a Christian couple like?

Thats correct. Well, it wasnt an easy one. We were unbelievers when we first started dating.

Initially, there was a lot of resistance from Felicia after she learnt that I had become a Christian

(my aunt brought my sister and I to Gethsemane Bible-Presbyterian Church in 2004 when I was in

NTU Year 2 Engineering). She thought Christians were extremists because as Christians, we are

unable to do a lot of things, e.g. marrying an unbeliever. The tension snowballed and we kept on

quarreling more often because of religion so much so that we had to take 2 weeks in 2005 to cool

things off. It was literally like a break up.

Aiya so jialat? By then you would already have joined FCM right? How did you come to

know of it and what was most memorable?

FCM is often mentioned in the Gethsemane bulletin and Brother Boon Siang (from NIE then)

encouraged me to join. After attending the first meeting, I never looked back. I admit, school

work can sometimes be very tiring but I find that FCM can not only strengthen your faith,

increase your Bible knowledge, you can also sing hymns, chat with Christian friends its really

enjoyable and it became one of the ways for me to de-stress. =P Most memorable would be

A TALE OF TWO TEACHERS:

BENSON ANG SHARES HIS COURTSHIP STORYINTERVIEWJASON LIEW PHOTOSWONG LIP MENG, TEO JUN ZI


21/28

21

talking about God together through discussions and knowing that there are fellow students who

go through the same struggles as you (IA, FYP, assignment deadlines to meet etc). Aunty Helen

also chatted with us often to find out more about our struggles as students so we wont feel so

stressed out.

Anything you want to tell the current FCMers, including

your sister Cindy, who is now also in FCM NTU/NIE?

I would like to encourage the FCMers to hold on to the faith.

Dont give up. We may be very busy, but let us not lose our

faith. Continue to come for FCM. With God, you can do

more things. He can help you to manage your time moreeffectively, better than those who mug at hall/home.

Believe me, God can do wonders! I know its easier said than

done, but we must always remember to pray. God will give us

a clear direction according to His divine Will, but never cease to pray Matthew 6:33, But seek ye

first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Now, back to you and Felicia, how did you all resolve things eventually?

After 2 weeks of cooling off, we managed to sit down and talk again. I think open

communication is very important, to let each other know what you are thinking. When she asked

me whether I would marry her if she was persistent about not being a Christian, I told her that I

will need to pray also and see how the Lord leads. Sometime later, Felicias grandmother (whom

she was very close to) was hospitalized. Rev Wee and Aunty Helen went down to the hospital to

preach and witness to her. Her grandma accepted Christ before she passed away. I think God

worked through that way. She became more open about Christianity, started slowly going to

church, to see what it is about, etc. Initially she found that church-going requires a lot of

commitment as she had to give tuition over the weekend, plus her school-day workload, she

found it to be very taxing and the time could have been spent doing schoolwork, clocking tuition


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hours, etc. Though at that time we quarreled quite frequently, I prayed that the Lord will open up

her mind. Thank God for answered prayer. She attended the catechism class together with my

family and I. Together with Cindy, we got baptized in Christmas 2007 and Felicia in Good Friday

2008 after she accepted the Lord.

Praise the Lord. How did you propose to Felicia?

It was at one of the skiing mountains in Korea. Both of us were already working by then. I used

some snow from the ground, added some pressure and molded it into a heart shape. I knelt down,

presented the heart to her and once she opened the ice, the ring was inside. She said yes!

Wow. Thats creative! Before we go, Jun Zi has one last question for you: It is commonly

said that marriage is the tombstone of love. How will you disprove this saying?

Oh haha. Of course I dont agree. There are a lot of people who finds marriage torturing, a loss of

freedom, a lot of restraints and you cannot hang out so long with your female friends like they

used to. Think about it. Your wife is someone who will be spending the rest of her life with you,

either until you grow old or passes away, whichever comes first. Either way, you are spending the

rest of your life together with her. Definitely time will have to be taken away to nurture and grow

the relationship/family. With regards to priorities, I adopt this sequence: God, family, followed by

friends and work... Ask God for wise time management. You can really feel and see the difference!

Thanks for your time!I would like to wish you and Felicia a blissful marriage for many,

many years to come. God bless!

You are welcome. Thanks and God bless!

Benson Ang, FCM NTU/NIE (2004-2008), is a member of Gethsemane

Bible-Presbyterian Church. He is a teacher at Greenview Secondary School.


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BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF SINGAPORE

DECLARATION ON MARRIAGE[Adopted on 30 April 1972]

THE BIBLE-PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH of Singapore and Malaysia holds that Christians should

marry Christians, whether the wedding is performed in the Church or outside the Church. The

Biblical injunction: "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor 6:14) applies to marriage.

This portion is further elaborated in Chapter 24 of the Westminster Confession of Faith to

which the Church subscribes. The relevant paragraphs of this chapter read as follows:

1. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any one man to

have more than one wife, nor for one woman to have more than one husband at the same time.

2. Marriage is ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife: for the increase of

mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for the

preventing of uncleanness.

3. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry who are able with judgment to give their consent;

yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And, therefore such as profess the

true reformed religion should not marry with the infidels, Papists, or other idolaters: neither

should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying such as are notoriously wicked in

their life or maintaining damnable heresies.

4. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden in the

Word; nor can such incestuous marriage ever be made lawful by any law of man, or consent of

parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.

Members of the Church should therefore bear the above in mind when choosing their life-

partners and timing of their marriages and all ministers of the Church should do their utmost to counsel

their members to that end.

If one of the parties of an intending marriage to be held in the Church is not yet a believer, the

minister-in-charge shall, if the man is the party concerned, not allow marriage until he has publicly

confessed Jesus as his Saviour in baptism as the man is to be the head of the woman (Eph 5:23). If it

is the woman who is not yet a believer and she is willing to follow the husband, the minister should dohis utmost to bring her to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ before consenting to marry

them in the Church. If she has shown a genuine desire to confess Jesus as her Saviour and in fact has

so confessed, she should be advised to do so in baptism, if necessary postponing the wedding date

until after the baptism. If, however, there are extenuating circumstances that the wedding has to be

performed before baptism, the minister shall, in consultation with the Board of Elders of the Church

Session, examine the case carefully and make a decision prayerfully and judiciously on the merits

of the case, but always taking into consideration the Biblical principle and the provisions in the

Confession of Faith of the Church.

(End of Declaration)

Source: Bible-Presbyterian Banner(Jun-Jul 1976), p4.


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Dear FCMers,

The rapid pace of a student living in

21st Century Singapore can be very

horrifying, especially in tertiary institutions. As you begin another semester of hectic

schedules, assignment frenzies and project

rushes with seemingly impossible deadlines

and very soon exam mug-a-thons, may I

urge you to consciously set aside time daily

to spend quiet time with God in prayer and

in the reading of His Word. An ex-FCMer

once told me, If you think school is busy now,

wait till you work. Many failed the realchallenge at workplace and lost their

Christian testimony because they failed to

seek God first (Matt 6:33) while they

were in school. Let us set our affections on

things above and not lose ourselves like the

rest of the world in relentless pursuit of a

ridiculous rat race. Lily Tomlin rightly

observed, The trouble with the rat race is thateven if you win, youre still a rat.

However in the aftermath of the

financial tsunami, one is more preoccupied

with worries of the basic necessities of life

rather than being a glorified rodent.

Graduating students gawk at an unpleasantprospect of underpaid jobs and

unemployment, other than the insidious

FYP. What if the market doesnt recover?

What will happen if I cannot find a job?

What if I cannot repay my study loan?

What if I cannot foot my familys medical

bills? What if I dont have enough to eat or

wear? What if Well, the list goes on.

These are real concerns. These are lifes

essentials. But the real question is: Do we

worry or trust that our Heavenly Father will

supply our every need? Can we like David

say The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not

want (Psalm 23:1)? No more what ifs o

ye of little faith! DL Moody affirmed, Faith

takes God without any ifs. Yes, we need

FAITH: Forsaking All I Trust Him; thesubstance of things hoped for, the evidence of things

not seen (Heb 11:1). As Corrie Ten Boom

puts it, Faith sees the invisible, believes the

unbelievable, and receives the impossible. God

never asked for great men and women of

faith, He wants men and women of great

faith. Hudson Taylor testified, I have found

that there are three stages in every great work of

God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then

it is done.Remember Romans 14:23, for

whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Read carefully the words of our Lord

Jesus Christ in His sermon on the mount

beautifully recorded for us in Matthew

6:25-34, 25Therefore I say unto you, Take no

thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what yeshall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put

on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body

EDITORIAL

CONSIDER THE LILIESBYJASON LIEW


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than raiment?26Behold the fowls of the air: for they

sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;

yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not

much better than they? 27Which of you by taking

thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 28Andwhy take ye thought for raiment?Consider thelil ies of the field, how they grow; they toil not,neither do they spin: 29 And yet I say unto you,

That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed

like one of these. 30Wherefore, if God so clothe the

grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is

cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe

you, O ye of little faith?31Therefore take no

thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall

we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:)

for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need

of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom

of God, and his righteousness; and all these things

shall be added unto you. 34Take therefore no

thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take

thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto theday is the evil thereof.

Allow me to direct your attention to

the words bolded in verse 28. In asking His

disciples to consider the lilies of the field,

our Lord was not playing mind games or

using any flowery language (pardon the pun)

with them but for their understanding (and

ours) drew a very vivid illustration from what was commonplace and existed from

the beginning of creation (except perhaps

during Noahs Flood), all the way to Jesus

time and even until today flowers.

Flowers are given to people for all kinds of

reasons: weddings, funerals, births, hospital

stays, anniversaries, birthdays and varied

special occasions. We see flowers all overGods creation. But oftentimes, given our

busy lives we hardly slow down to

appreciate the things around us. We do not

stop to smell the roses, much less wonder

about their design. Could we but pause for

a moment to think about a flower? Could

we be more infatuated with the Maker ofthe flower rather than simply being

captivated by its pretty appearance? Could

we scrutinize the intricacies of the parts of a

flower and attribute its splendour as a

wondrous spectacle of Gods magnificent

power and creative ability? Could we

contemplate on Gods beautiful handiwork

which we so often take for granted and

meditate upon the message our Lord is

trying to convey and have us learn?

Imagine, if the fowls of the air could

speak (except for parrots heh), what do

you think their opinion of us human beings,

men and women who are supposed to be

made in the image of God, will be?

Overheard in an OrchardSaid the Robin to the SparrowI should really like to know

Why these human beingsRush about and worry so.


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26

Said the Sparrow to the Robin,Friend I think that it must be,

That they have no Heavenly FatherSuch as cares for you and me.

~ Author Unknown ~

Ive really garnered great insights

from the above poem but if what the

sparrow said to the robin were true, that

humans have no Heavenly Father that cares

for us like He does with them, then I

believe we are of all men most miserable.

Thank God this is not the case, because

God does care for us (1 Pet 5:7) and thatour Lord Jesus Christ used an a fortiori(even

more so) argument at the end of verse 26,

Are ye not much better than they?As with the

picturesque lilies, the example of the flying

fowls uses an a minori ad maius (from the

lesser to the greater) contrast to reinforce

and drive home the point that we are of

more value than many sparrows (Matt 10:31)

and that even the worldwide fame (2

Chronicles 9), glory and pageantry of King

Solomon pales into insignificance as

compared to the design magnificence of the

lilies of the field. Still, we find children of

God behaving like the children of the world.

Dr Martyn Lloyd-Jones (1899-1981)

astutely observed,We tend to be over anxious about

our life, about what we shall eat,

and what we shall drink, and also

about our body, what we shall put

on. It is appalling to notice how

many people seem to live entirely

within that compass; food, drink

and clothing is the whole of theirlife. They spend the whole of their

time thinking about these things,

talking about them, discussing them

with others, arguing about them,

and reading about them in various

books and magazines. And the

world today is trying to get us alllive on that level. Take a casual

glance at the books on the

bookstalls and you will see how

these things are catered for. That is

the mind of the world, and that is

the circle of its interest. People live

for these things, and become

concerned and worried about them

in all sorts of different ways. (Studies

in the Sermon on the Mount, p433)

There is a prayer that many find

helpful especially in times of worry i.e. The

Prayer of Serenity, God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to

change the things I can, and the wisdom to know

the difference.Paul exhorts us in Philippians4:6-7, Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by

prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your

requests be made known unto God. And the peace

of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep

your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.He

then ends off with one of these very last

verses in Philippians 4:19, But my God shall

supply all your need according to his riches in glory

by Christ Jesus.


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27

FLOWERS preach to us if we will hear:--

The rose saith in the dewy morn:

I am most fair;

Yet all my loveliness is born

Upon a thorn.The poppy saith amid the corn:

Let but my scarlet head appear

And I am held in scorn;

Yet juice of subtle virtue lies

Within my cup of curious dyes.

The lilies say: Behold how we

Preach without words of purity.

The violets whisper from the shade

Which their own leaves have made:

Men scent our fragrance on the air,

Yet take no heed

Of humble lessons we would read.

But not alone the fairest flowers:

The merest grass

Along the roadside where we pass,

Lichen and moss and sturdy weed,

Tell of His love who sends the dew,The rain and sunshine too,

To nourish one small seed.

~ Christina Rossetti (1830-1894) ~

The problem with us today is that

we have very little faith. Will O ye of little

faith! be the Lords appraisal of you? It is

because of this lack of faith (which is sin)that believers behave unseemly like

unbelievers. In a Calvary Pandan weekly

article dated December 21, 2008, Rev Dr

Quek Suan Yew wrote, God did not say pray

only and starve and die as you read the Bible. God

said seek Him first and all the earthly food and

clothing that Christians need will be supplied tothem in His time. Do you and I have this

faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for

our Heavenly Father to provide? It could

mean sleeping less, so you can serve God

more. It could mean saying no to freelance

jobs (like web design for me) that gives you

additional pocket money, so that you can

be an unprofitable servant (Luke 17:10)

for the Lord. It could just mean

commitment to the cause of Christ by

coming for FCM Bible Study and attending

fellowship groups and trusting the Lord to

help us in the wise management of our time

as compared to those who seemingly have a

lot more to spare simply because they do

not have the commitments a child of God

will have. Remember, seek God first.

Dont just rush through life. The

next time you pass by greenery, take time to

smell the flowers, consider the lilies and

contemplate on how marvelous our Lords

love for us His children is. The Lord is

good.

His Unworthy Servant,

Jason Liew

Jason Liew is the Overall Student Coordinator of FCM

and a member of Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church.


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Overall Student Coordinator Jason Liew (Calvary Pandan B-P Church) 9017 8213 [email protected]

Overall FCM Coordinator Eld Dr Boaz Boon (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) 9824 7681 [email protected]

Assistant Advisor Dn Peter Phoa (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) 9758 1469 [email protected]

The FCM Family Contact Information & Bible Study GroupsAY 08/09

Bible Study LeaderRev Wee Eng Moh, BTh, MRE (Berith B-P Church) [email protected]

Student Coordinator

Teo Jun Zi 9299 9501 [email protected]

Venue & Time

Blk 63, NTU Hall of Residence 13 (Eld Sims Home) 32 Nanyang Crescent, #03-1255, Singapore 637658

Every Monday, 6.30pm / Dinner @ 5.30pm

FCM NTU/NIE

Bible Study LeaderJoshua Yong, DipTh, BRE, MDiv cand (Truth B-P Church) [email protected]

Student Coordinator

Carol Leong 9876 3151 [email protected]

Venue & Time

School of Economics, SMU (Seminar Room 4.3) 90 Stamford Road, Singapore 178903

Selected Fridays, 2.00pm

FCM SMU

Bible Study Leader

James Tan, BTh cand (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) [email protected]

Student Coordinator

Eleanor Ee 9298 1643 [email protected]

Venue & Time

School of DMIT, SP (Level 3 Tutorial Room) 500 Dover Road, Singapore 139651

Every Wednesday, 6pm

FCM SP & NP

Bible Study Leader

Lim Jun Sheng, BEng, CertRK (Calvary Tengah B-P Church) [email protected]

Student Coordinator

Samuel Goh 9181 7471 [email protected]

Venue & Time

Main Library, RP (Study Area) 9 Woodlands Avenue 9, Singapore 738964

Every Wednesday, 6pm

FCM RP

Bible Study Leader

Ko Ling Kang, BTh cand (Calvary Pandan B-P Church) [email protected]

Student Coordinator

Joy Ng 9112 1760 [email protected]

Venue & Time

Faculty of Science, NUS (Seminar Room 13) 6 Science Drive 2, Singapore 117546

Every Wednesday, 5.15pm / Dinner @ 7.30pm

FCM NUS

FCM Newsletter 2009_V1 (Jan-Mar 09)

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