Fake or Faith: Helping Your Child Develop an Authentic Faith

Our Children Are• A sacred responsibility• A divine gift• An organic extension of us• The primary source of our legacy• The best part of ourselves• Our gift to the world's next

generationcc: Camil Tulcan - https://www.flickr.com/photos/75771006@N00

Child-Rearing Responsibility

1. Primarily Parents (Christian/not)2. Grandparents & Extended Family3. Church Family Membership4. Age-Group Ministry & Minister5. Community at Large (school, etc.)

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At first glance, "fake faith" looks similar to authentic faith

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Five FactsAbout Counterfeit Christianity

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1. "Fake Faith" implies kids must earn God's favor

2. "Fake Faith" makes kids' good external behavior its goal

3. "Fake Faith" enforces kids' obedience using shame

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4. "Fake Faith" worries more about parental embarrassment than kids' faith

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5. "Fake Faith" emphasizes being 'real' over being 'holy'

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Authentic Faith (metamorphosis) begins undetectably on the inside of a person before

it manifests on the outside (Rom 12:2)cc: SidPix - https://www.flickr.com/photos/22357152@N02

Indications of Authentic FaithMatthew 22:37-39

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Knowing God | Rom 12:2• Asking spiritual questions• Openness to Christian teaching• Accepting biblical truths or doctrine• Coming to know Christ personally• Rethinking assumptions and beliefs• Showing a changed mindset• Building a biblical worldview (lifeview)

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Loving God | Mt 22:37ff• Changing negative attitudes• Manifesting a sense of gratitude• Maturing personal convictions• Rebuilding their ethical system• Developing strong biblical

convictionscc: Farid Iqbal - https://www.flickr.com/photos/96029652@N00

Living for God | Lk 6:46• Greater control of tongue• Noticeable change in actions• Visible changes in devotional life• Better ethical behaviors• Consistent Christlike character

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Loving Others | Mt 22:37ff• Greater compassion• New choices of close friends• Consistent church attendance• Indications of sexual purity• Harmonious relationships• Serving other people• Treating parents & siblings with

respect

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Mouthing (Not Modeling)Parenting

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Expecting our Children to Follow Our Advice, Not Our Example

cc: José Carlos Cortizo Pérez - https://www.flickr.com/photos/80272747@N00

Passive Parenting

Allowing Passivity on Minor Issues to Become Major Issues

Fatalistic Parentingcc: Jonah G.S. - https://www.flickr.com/photos/98024494@N00

Assuming, Anticipating, thenExcusing Our Child's Rebellion

cc: Jonah G.S. - https://www.flickr.com/photos/98024494@N00

Your Child Doesn't Have To• Rebel against your authority• Use profanity• Befriend bad kids• Start smoking cigarettes• Have their first joint• Be sexually promiscuous or 'go gay'• Walk away from God• Fatalistic parenting is self-fulfilling

cc: Jonah G.S. - https://www.flickr.com/photos/98024494@N00

Popularity Parenting

Allowing Personal Insecurity to Keep You from Responsible Parenting

Innoculative Parentingcc: Lance McCord - https://www.flickr.com/photos/44124468195@N01

Inoculate Our Kids Against Authentic Faith With Inch-Deep Christianity at Home

cc: Lance McCord - https://www.flickr.com/photos/44124468195@N01

1. Don't rush your kids into big spiritual decisions, especially salvation and baptism

2. Daily raise spiritual issues in your conversations (Deut 6:4-6)

3. Consistently have them in church as Priority #1 (Heb 10:25)

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4. Pray for and over them, within earshot (Num 6:24-26)

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5. Make consistent faith at home all they can remember (2 Tim 1:5; 3:14)

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1. Communicate a high standard and strongly encourage their spiritual best but expect uneven

growth and occasional setbacks (1 Jn 2:1)cc: Olivander - https://www.flickr.com/photos/19487674@N00

2. Eliminate exasperating your teen by working not to annoy, irk, vex, provoke, or

enrage them (Eph 6:4; Col 3:21)

3. Stay together as a family (love one another) Eph 5:21-33

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4. Increasingly tell them the honest, brutal truth about life & faith (1 Chr 28:9)

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5. Help them develop a healthy 'significant other' relationship

1. Confess Parenting Mistakes to God and Acknowledge Them to Adult Children (Dismount the Dead Horse) (Phil 3:13)

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2. Be ready to give godly wisdom in life's "teachable moments" but remember "less is more" and avoid

snarky self-righteousness (Prov 25:11)

3. Trust God to use a perfect combination of natural law, divine law, civil law, and the law of

conscience to train adult children (Gal 6:7)cc: Scott* - https://www.flickr.com/photos/83049159@N00

4. Let them know you'll never give up on them and will never stop loving them unconditionally-- but will also

never violate your convictions (Rom 14:1-23)cc: estherase - https://www.flickr.com/photos/78364563@N00

5. Grandparenting is your best God-given opportunity to indirectly re-parent a still-wayward

adult child and your own grandkid (2 Tim 1:5)cc: santheo - https://www.flickr.com/photos/37961843@N00

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